-9-

"You remember nothing, nothing at all?" Anais wondered as they strolled along a worn path that was lined with the remains of a crumbling wall. The pale gray stones, bleached almost white by centuries of exposure to the elements, protruded from the ground like broken teeth. The wind blew bits of debris, decayed mortar, and dust from between their cracks.

Kit shook her head, then tried to wipe away the hair that the wind had blown into her face.

"I don't even believe that any of this is happening. This must be a dream. Or maybe I'm having a stroke. I really should be at the library. My paper on customer lifetime value is due in a week, and I barely got started."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you hit your head. What is this nonsense that you are talking about?"

"Actually, I did hit my head, just a little while ago." Kit felt for where the laceration and the accompanying bump had been, inspecting her hand as if expecting to find it covered in blood.

"What happened?" Anais asked, examining her friend curiously since there was no obvious injury.

"I woke up naked in the arms of a stranger who also happened to be naked. I got the shock of my life, jumped out of bed, stumbled and hit my head on a wardrobe."

"Oh dear…" She said. "That must have been quite a shock indeed." Anais grabbed Kit's hand. She was startled when Kit suddenly began to sob.

"I'm so scared, I don't understand what's happening!"

Anais hugged her trembling friend tightly and let her cry in her arms as she stroked her hair. What a truly miserable situation this was, she thought. This woman looked like Kit, but she was so obviously different, so scared and insecure in a way her friend had never been. And all of that just because she had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Anais had heard many stories about people who had been cursed. Geralt himself had once told her about a girl that had been turned into a tree and whose spirit he had tried to free. Maybe Kit was lucky that this curse only caused memory loss and nothing worse.

"You're my friend, right? Can I stay with you? I don't feel comfortable around…," Kit said once she had calmed down, only to correct herself: "Here, I mean. I don't feel comfortable here. I could really use a friend."

Anais took her hand again. Of course, being a woman herself, she understood better than anyone what Kit was going through. Nevertheless, recent events in her own life shed a different light on the situation. As much as she saw her friend suffering, she could not hold back, even if her advice was entirely unsolicited.

"I lost my husband a few months ago. I'd do anything to get him back, to have more time with him." Anais looked at the ground between them. "You should stay with your husband as long as he's alive and well. You might regret it if you don't."

"I'm… I'm so sorry to hear that," Kit said, visibly shrinking into herself.

"He never even knew I was pregnant again. After all these years, we had already given up hope." Anais shook her head. "I cannot in good conscience take you away from Geralt without telling you this: I wish with all my heart that I could have spent more time with Erasmus. He was the most important person to me, just like Geralt is to you. And as your friend, as much as I would like to welcome you into my house, this is the one thing I have to tell you. If something would ever happen to him, you would certainly regret not having spent more time with him. Just know that. But if you still want to stay with me, you are very welcome to do so." As Anais tried her best to hold back her tears, she felt Kit squeeze her hand.

"In that case, I have already decided. You shouldn't be alone right now. I may not know you, but I have a feeling we both could use each other's company."

When she looked back at Kit, her eyes were filled with tears.

"Are you certain?" Missing her husband so dearly, it seemed impossible that any woman would simply choose her over her own husband, even though she understood on another, very abstract level that the Kit before her held no feelings for Geralt.

"It seems you've come a long way, so it doesn't sit right with me to leave you to your own devices," Kit said with a smile and more conviction than Anais had expected from her under the circumstances.

"How did we meet?" Kit wondered. "Please, tell me something, anything. How did we become friends?"

Anais smiled, feeling the relief of knowing she was not quite as alone as she had feared she would be. Maybe this version of Kit did not know her yet, but Anais could already feel her friend right there, in the way Kit cared for her, a mere stranger.

"You were at our wedding. Erasmus, my dear husband, had invited the bard Dandelion, a friend of Geralt's. He brought both of you as guests. I had already noticed you at the palace, during the wine festival, because in your dress you stood out among the other guests. I asked to borrow it from you when I met you at my wedding so that my seamstress could fashion me a similar one. You were kind enough to bring it over and we had tea. And when I returned it to you, we had tea again. And then there was more tea, mostly the kind that you spilled with all your knowledge that you gained from working in the palace," Anais laughed through her tears.

"I work in a palace? What palace?"

"Did Geralt not tell you anything?"

"He might have tried, but… I woke up next to him this morning, completely naked in a strange place next to a man I had never seen before." She shivered. Anais held her hand tighter. "I was… and I suppose I still am very much in shock. So far, I haven't really been able to believe anything he's told me and frankly, nothing feels real right now. Why am I married to him? That makes no sense, he's so old. What's he? Like… 50?"

"Oh Kit!" Anais could hardly keep a straight face. This entire situation was so absurd. "He is over a hundred years old."

At Kit's shocked expression, Anais burst out laughing. She had not even considered herself capable of laughing after the last few months and felt appalled to start now at such an inopportune moment. But there was nothing to be done about it. If there was one person she could count on to cheer her up even in the darkest of times, it was her best friend.

Another strong breeze blew Kit's hair back into her face.

"My apologies," Anais said as she reached up to her friend's face and trucked her windswept hair behind her ears. "You have no idea how ridiculous that sounds to anyone who has ever seen the two of you together. Geralt adores you. He'd bring you the whole world if you asked him to."

The color in Kit's face changed from deadly pale to light pink.

"I don't understand," was all Kit said.

"Who understands love anyway? I can't explain to you why you love him equally as much. I just know that he'd die for you, and even after ten years together, your face still lights up whenever you tell me about something nice that he has done for you. I know you despise having to sleep without him. I know you're deadly afraid whenever he goes out to track a monster because you're so anxious he might get hurt. Whenever…"

"Excuse me, when you say monster… What kind of monster are we talking about?" Kit interrupted her.

"Forgive me, I seem to have said too much. Geralt should explain that to you. But please don't worry about anything. You are as safe with him as anyone can be."

Kit hesitated for a moment. The term monster clearly was doing something to her.

"Am I, though?" she wondered.

"I've known the two of you for a decade now. The person he loves is the most cherished, most well-protected person on this continent."

Kit blinked in surprise but said nothing. Anais imagined that it was probably very difficult for her friend to weave this fact into her perceived version of reality.

"When are you due?" Kit asked as they walked on.

"A few more weeks. But this one might be early, just like our first." Anais lips tightened into a thin line. "Juliette wanted out, and she wanted out fast. I didn't even manage to call for you in time, you only arrived long after, because you and Geralt were travelling. None of us expected her to come so early."

"You called for me?" Kit wondered.

"Of course I did. After all, we are friends and you had insisted that, should I ever become pregnant, you wanted to be there for me. And when I say you insisted, I mean it. You even begged me. I'm not sure why, I've never known you to be someone who loves children quite that much. I always thought that this was one more reason why you and Geralt were such a great match – among other things, of course."

"I don't understand. I mean, I'm really not very attached to the idea of children, but what does that have to do with him?"

"Witchers cannot father children, they are sterile."

Kit blushed and turned her face away.

"One less thing to worry about," she whispered before her relief turned to confusion again. "Wait, what did you just say? What is a… a witcher?"

"It seems he really didn't tell you anything."

"We haven't exactly had much opportunity to talk…"

"You should really speak to him about this."

"I bet he's a male witch, right? That's why he could move the soap without touching it!" She paused again. "But that was just some stupid trick. Magic doesn't even exist. What the hell?" Kit was about to get worked up again and raked her fingers through her hair.

"Kittycat, please calm down! He is not a witch, and if you'd just ask him, he will clarify anything you want to know. And if it's all too much, please don't worry about my woes. You don't have to be with me if you don't want to. I will not hold you to a promise you cannot even remember." Anais reassured her. "Poor thing, you look so shaken."

Kit shook her head.

"But you said you came all this way because I insisted. It seems wrong to let you down."

Anais smiled.

"You seem different but at the same time you are still very much the person I have always known."

At Kit's questioning look she explained:

"You always put other people's comfort before your own. That hasn't changed. I think you asked me to come because you didn't want me to be alone with the baby with… you know, with Erasmus gone."

Kit's voice cracked. "That makes sense, of course."

"Don't take it to heart. I can manage. I've wanted to move to Toussaint eventually anyway. Novigrad doesn't hold the same charm as the countryside."

Kit thought for a while, staring intently at the dusty path in front of her, before she spoke again.

"I already told you I'll be there, no more discussion. Either this isn't real and just a weird dream, then it doesn't matter. Or this is real, in which case you are my friend. I don't let my friends down. And… I could really use a friend, too."

The taller Anais put an arm around Kit's shoulder.

"Where is your daughter? Juliette, you said?" Kit asked.

"Oh, you don't remember of course…" Anais remained silent for a moment. "She was born prematurely. She was dead by the time I held her in my arms."

"I'm… I'm so sorry to hear that." Kit's face grew even paler.

"Don't be. It was a long time ago, it happens. I had the most terrible fever afterwards. The healers were certain I wouldn't make it. When you finally came to my side a few days later, I thanked the gods that I could at least say goodbye to my best friend." A few more tears trickled down Anais' cheeks. "But you wouldn't have it. You stayed by my side all day and night, cooling my fever, feeding me, while Erasmus sat by the side of the bed, being utterly useless as fear had knocked all sense out of him at the thought of having to plan not only his daughter's funeral, but his wife's as well. You slept next to me, holding my hand the entire time. To this day, I believe it was you who saved me. It took a week, but I healed. Quite remarkably so, the healers said. They said it was nothing less than a miracle." Anais stopped and took both of Kit's hands. "You are my good luck charm. This time things will be different. I can feel it, even now." Anais blinked away her tears.

"I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry for what you've been through, it sounds terrible. No one should have this much bad luck. I won't leave you alone. I'm not sure if I can bring good fortune to anyone, but if I can, you are more deserving of it than anyone else I can think of."

"Thank you, Kit. Thank you so much!"

"Don't. Let's just help each other. It seems like it was meant to be. I want to go with you and you shouldn't be alone," Kit declared.

"Kit," Anais tried to protest, wanting to remind her that time was precious and that she would be better off spending it with her husband. But then she lacked the strength to do so and just hugged her.

Geralt had been busying himself with walking up and down in front of the house waiting for the women to return. Normally he would have welcomed the strong breeze that created small whirls of dust and dry leaves. The days tended to get hot so quickly. But today the wind only felt cold as it cut through the seams of his shirt. The weather tended to change for a short period between the end of March and the end of April, when spring was interrupted by a season of storms. The nights would suddenly become much colder again and there would be unpredictable storms and heavy rain. But by May everything would have calmed down and summer would finally arrive.

"If you keep doing that, you will wear down the ground until you end up in your wine cellar," remarked Eskel, who was lounging on a bench in the sun. Only his grim face gave away that he was probably just as worried as Geralt.

Geralt huffed.

"Maybe I should move into the basement, considering how afraid she is of me. Isn't that where people usually hide their monsters?"

"Stop being so dramatic. She isn't as stupid as you, she won't run away. And therefore, she will get to know you again, and in a few days her memories will come back. You'll see."

"I hope so," he said, then stopped when he saw Kit and Anais approaching. He exhaled, feeling some of the tension slip away. She was still here. But he would not be able to sleep unless he could convince her. And he had to do it fast or he would go insane. There was one place he needed her to go with him, to prove to her that they were familiar and intimately so.

But first came Kit's unpleasant confession that she wanted to stay with Anais instead of him. Geralt could not blame her, but he could feel something breaking inside. How could he convince her when she was gone? How was he supposed to just stand by and watch her go, knowing that she despised him?

Of course, there was no way he could refuse her request. She was free, it was not his place to deny her anything. And if he did, she would rightly think him a monster and be afraid of him. Technically, she already was afraid. She kept as much distance between them as possible and hardly looked him into the eye.

"Anything you want. But there is something that I have to show you first," Geralt insisted.

Kit cocked her head, possibly surprised that he had given in so easily.

"We have to go to town. It won't take long, I promise."

He had assumed that he could not be more hurt or disappointed than he already was, but Kit's words hit him like an arrow.

"Can't we do this another time?"

Just how quickly did she want to get rid of him? Being torn apart by a Chort was less painful than this.

"What is this?" Anais, who had kept a respectful distance, joined them again. "A quick trip into town won't hurt anyone. My carriage is just around the corner. I have some errands to run myself. We should all go together, don't you agree?"

Geralt nodded gratefully. She had just bought him some more time.

Eskel decided to join them. Geralt thought that the more people joined the less tension there would be, so that Kit would never feel like she was alone with him. The thought pained him, but in the end, he only wanted what was best for her.

He thought about how Kit had acted in his place just a few weeks ago. She had always put his needs before hers. Surely he could do the same? Only it was not the same. He had not despised her when he could not remember her.

While Anais and Eskel tried hard to keep up a lively conversation, Kit remained quiet during the trip. Geralt wondered if she tried to look for signs of something familiar and was disappointed when there were none. But maybe there was still hope. Maybe she would recognize something on the way. Beauclair Castle was certainly was an impressive sight from a distance. The elven architecture made it stand out even in this world so surely it must have seemed even more wonderous to Kit.

Geralt had no idea if she agreed with his assessment or not, because she still did not utter even a single word when the beautiful construction came into sight. She simply stared, lost in thought, out of reach of anyone.

When they arrived in Beauclair, the four of them got out of the carriage. Anais and Eskel deliberately stayed behind Geralt and Kit as they walked through the dreamy streets and under intricate arches. The city had decided to show itself at its most beautiful again: flowers blooming left and right added even more color to the quaint houses and gurgling fountains. From the way Kit looked around and craned her neck, he could tell that she was in awe, and rightly so. The city was breathtakingly beautiful. If you got sucked into another world, at least Toussaint was a good place to start. He tried to imagine having to sell her on the grey and dreary Velen. She probably would have tossed herself into the mouth of the first monster she came across.

A memory popped into his head, an observation that Kit had made on their first trip to Beauclair and which she had told him of only long after the fact.

"No electricity, no emergency exit sings, no technology at all," Geralt declared.

She had admitted that she had looked for any signs of modernity back when she had first come into this world. This time she had not mentioned that she wanted to call or contact anyone, but he assumed that this was due to the absolute shock she had been in when she had woken up.

"What year is it?" She joked. "1850?"

"Still 1292," Geralt replied.

"Right, you mentioned that before." She whispered under her breath: "I've always wanted to travel to as many places as possible. But the past wasn't one of them."

"Left," he guided her, ignoring the comment that felt awfully familiar to him and that she probably was not aware he had heard at all.

The main square opened up before them. Even if he had not already known the city by heart, he would always find his way here. The smell of the food being served around noon would always lure him to this very spot. Many patrons had already taken up a seat at one of the tables, waiting for their meal to be served while sipping on their wine. Their animated chatter was as much a part of the charm of the city as was everything else.

Geralt navigated them to a little shop that was housed in one of the buildings surrounding the central square. A few paintings put on display indicated what was to be found here.

Some time ago, during a picnic, they had run into the artist who owned the shop. He had insisted on painting them. If the painting was in a state where both he and Kit were recognizable, Geralt thought he had a chance to convince her that they had known each other a long time already. And that she actually liked him. Right now, he could tell that she stared at him occasionally, but she was at best curious, if not cautious.

He held the door open for Kit to go through first and went in right after her. Eskel and Anais waited outside.

It did not take Geralt long to find what he was looking for. There were several unfinished paintings on their easels, but aside from the still drying varnish, their portrait was finished.

Their pose had been innocent enough, just them leaning close to each other. But Geralt had had a feeling that the portrait would turn out completely different – just like the first time he had encountered the artist. He was not disappointed: Instead of sitting, they were standing, embracing each other tightly, looking at the other one, lips parted like in the moment before a kiss. It would have been innocent enough had they not been entirely naked, certain parts of their bodies only covered with flowing cloth or hair for the sake of propriety.

Kit, right next to him, blushed bright pink. He found it a little amusing and waited for her to explain this one.

"What do you think?" he asked.

She gasped for air.

"Excellent brushwork," she muttered after a while. "Why are you showing me this?"

"To prove to you that we know each other. We sat for this together, weeks ago."

"This proves nothing. Someone could have painted this using a photo as a template."

Kit turned on her heel and walked past him, straight out the door.

There it went, the only piece of proof he thought he had, and it was worth exactly nothing.

Geralt took one last long look at the picture. This was exactly what their morning should have been. And now it was anything but.

He went after Kit, almost running into Eskel and Anais when he tried to leave the shop.

"What have you done?" Eskel hissed. "She looks traumatized."

"Nothing. I just wanted to show her proof that we know each other. Guess she didn't take it too well." He stepped past the pair, who looked at each other in confusion before entering the little shop themselves.

Kit was sitting on a bench outside, her face buried in her hands.

"Kit, could you please look at me?" he asked as he sat down next to her.

She looked at him through her fingers. Another breeze blew her hair into her face again.

Geralt brushed it back and gently pried her hands away. They were a little wet from her tears.

"What is this? Why is this happening?"

How was he even supposed to answer that?

"Kit, can you please look at me?"

She hesitated, but then she did.

"Do you feel anything at all when you look at me? Anything?"

He remembered their first encounter after he had lost his memory. He had not recognized her back then, but he had quickly developed this feeling, this pull towards her. He hoped she would feel something similar, just something that would make her give this a chance instead of just running away like he had. Because if she ran away, knowing nothing about the world that she lived in now, the chances of him finding her alive were slim. But he could hardly lock her up. She would never trust him again if he did that – unless she regained her memories for which there was no guarantee.

"I don't know." Her confession interrupted his train of thought. "I really don't."

It was better than an outright no, he tried to tell himself.

"Let me show you the gardens," Geralt suggested, trying to pretend that he was not bothered. What else could he do but try to trigger her memory, just like she had done with him a few weeks ago? The place where they first kissed, that should have some meaning, right? Just a moment later, he scolded himself for the thought. How childish, he muttered to himself. It was not that simple, it would never be that simple.

"I really need to get back to writing my essay," Kit protested unconvincingly. Geralt guessed that whatever essay she needed to write was the last thing on her mind. He could practically see the thoughts racing behind her forehead, trying to make sense of what she was experiencing right now.

"Do you really believe that?" He looked at her. Kit lowered her eyes.

Then Geralt decided to do something risky, something he had been mulling over ever since breakfast. It would probably lead to a huge meltdown, which was not a great thing to have in public, but he could tell that she was already becoming more hesitant about her beliefs, so right now might be the best time to properly bury any illusions she might still have held about her former life.

When Anais and Eskel left the shop, Eskel quietly mouthed "What the fuck!?" to which Geralt only shrugged his shoulders.

"Didn't know what exactly to expect, but this certainly wasn't it."

Geralt waved Kit to come with him and marched quite briskly in the direction of the palace. He avoided the terraces but led her to some less frequented paths along the greenery. Eskel and Anais again kept their distance.

"Where do you live?" he suddenly asked her. Oh, how he hated to point her nose directly at this.

Kit looked confused.

"At home?" She had already forgotten about her imaginary roommate that she had wanted to call this morning.

"Who do you live with?"

"My… parents?"

Geralt could see the change in her face.

"What are their names? What do they look like? Can you describe them to me?"

Kit looked at him like he was crazy. She set out to say something but then stopped.

She blinked in obvious confusion. For the first time since their unpleasant start to the day, she really looked straight at him.

"I don't know," she admitted, unable to hide her utter perplexity at not being able to answer what should have been a simple question.

Geralt prepared himself for the tears to come. That was why he had chosen this secluded part of the gardens. Let her have the expected fit, try to calm her down and then go on from there, but with as few onlookers as possible.

Kit, however, surprised him when she just stood there and kept blinking.

"I can't remember. Why can't I remember? Did I hit my head that hard?" She held a hand against her forehead, as if one could feel such things.

"You knew that, didn't you?" Kit suddenly realized.

Geralt nodded.

"Why?"

The question hung in the air.

"Why don't I remember?" she pressed. A hint of panic had crept into her voice.

"Because they took those memories away from you, years ago."

"What? Who are they?"

Geralt was stunned by the lack of tears that he was confronted with. Strangely enough, he was somewhat miffed that his prediction had not come true yet. He had considered himself to be an excellent reader of Kit after all this time, but this slightly different version of her threw him for a loop.

"You came here from another world ten years ago," he began, and then continued to recount the tale as well as he could:

Shortly after Kit had been planted in his world, the one that she should have been born into but, by mistake, was not, she had begun to lose core memories. At first, her memories started to change, emotional components disappeared. Faces began to blur and then disappear as well. Later on, she was unable to recall names, until finally her memories had been wiped clean of all of the people she had ever known and any feelings she might have ever had for any of them. The higher powers responsible for this had meant to make her transition easier – if she could not remember the people she used to love, she would face less issues accepting her new life. And that was exactly how it had played out. Only at first, none of them had known what was going on, and Kit had been scared to death. Nowadays, Kit hardly ever mentioned anyone she had known back then. She could recount events without issue, but she was never sure who had actually been with her.

Geralt did not want her to go through that same thing again, to relive all of that, all that loss and pain. But maybe it was necessary for her to believe him and to stop doubting him. The faster she believed and trusted him, the safer she would be.

When he finished, Kit said nothing. The look she gave said clearly that she believed him - to be insane. But she remained silent. And that was when Geralt knew he had gotten through to her, that there was something she could not deny or explain away.

They sat down on a bench. Kit pulled her knees to her chest and stared into the distance. Still no tears. She grabbed a strand of her hair and wrapped it around her finger just to let it go again and start over.

"So basically everyone I have ever known is lost to me – which is apparently fine because for some reason I don't seem to care," she let out a spiteful laugh, "and I also have nobody here, in this world, either. Nobody who I remember anyway."

"There are a lot of people who remember you though. Right here."

Kit looked at him, then nodded and continued to play with her hair.

"I don't think I can believe any of this," Kit said.

"Even though you have already admitted that something is wrong?"

Kit nodded.

"This is insane. There must be another explanation for it."

"For example?"

She shrugged.

"Just agreeing that I'm probably in another world and conveniently not remembering things isn't going to cut it for me. This is nuts."

Last time it had taken a monster to make her believe him. Geralt considered finding one. But where would he even go? Almost everything around him had gone extinct. Whatever found its way to Toussaint did so on a very much unpredictable schedule. Wandering elsewhere was out of the question with Anais so close to giving birth. If Kit ever remembered, she would never forgive him for letting her leave and not be there to help her friend through the birthing process. After what had happened last time, Kit had blamed herself for months, insisting that she should have gone to see her friend the moment Anais had written to her about the pregnancy. Should have checked on her and the baby, used her powers to make sure they were both healthy. Of course, she had no idea if she would really have been able to prevent what had happened – back then she had had even less control over her powers than she did now. But the moment they had gotten wind of Anais' premature birth, they had interrupted their travels and returned to Novigrad just barely in time for Kit to save Anais from dying of childbed fever. Anais had never known the truth. Kit had never told her of her powers. At first, because she had no control over them and was afraid that people would start to rely on her if she ever admitted to having these abilities. Later, when she had gained a certain degree of control over them, she had been kidnapped because of her powers, which had traumatized her so much that she had vowed to never use them again on anyone outside of the people who already knew or who were close friends, but whom she still would not tell what was going on. Geralt had supported her decision. To him all that mattered was that she was safe – and she was much safer if no one knew what she could do.

Geralt racked his brain trying to think of a way to prove to her that all of this was real. He thought of the diary of the scorpion breeder – but they had burned it so that no one could get any ideas from it. They had also turned the leftovers of the scorpions into ashes, so there was no evidence to be found from that either.

"I had lost my memories as well," Geralt said then. "Took me a few weeks for things to come back. Can you just wait? Maybe it'll be the same for you."

"I don't know. Can I? If I don't go to my classes and turn in my work, there will be consequences for me, you know?" The way she said it did not sound like she was trying hard to convince herself.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Geralt asked.

Kit shrank into herself as she tried to hide her face behind her knees.

"Are you afraid of me?" He had asked the question before he could stop himself. He feared the answer.

Kit went completely stiff. Her eyes went to Anais, who stood far away with Eskel, and did not notice her silent cry for help. Geralt's heart sank.

"I won't touch you," he said softly. "Ever. I'll stay a good distance away from you if that's what you want. Can't change the fact that I'm your husband though. But I can promise you that I'll never hurt you."

Can't stop loving you. Can't stop desiring you either, he thought. And without the help of another scorpion I also can't forget what we have. Or had.

He thought back to the first morning when he had woken up without any memory of his current life and wondered if Kit had been every bit as devasted as he was right now. He had to admit that he had never really considered what this situation had been like for her, and certainly had no right to insist that she, now that the situation had been reversed, took his feelings into account. How could she? She probably did not even believe he had feelings at all.

What a cruel fate it was that he finally remembered while she had just begun to forget.

Geralt wished he could at least hug her, comfort her. But it seemed that he was the last person that she wanted to be close to.

"What do you want me to do?" It took him a lot of effort to make his desperate plea sound like a normal question. "I'd do anything."

Kit took a while to answer.

"Just let me stay with Anais for a while," she begged quietly.

It hurt to hear her say this.

How was he supposed to win her over if she would not even spend time with him? Maybe she would remember and everything would be fine in a few days or weeks. But what if not? What if she never remembered? How would he get her to see him, not the image of him that she had created, but him?

What would he do if she never took him back?

How could he keep her safe until she had understood how this world worked and could fend for herself?