Fate/indubitanter

Chapter 1 - Master and Apprentice

…and so Saber used her Noble Phantasm to destroy the Grail and the war was finally over. Anyway, both Saber and Archer disappeared from this world after that and our days returned to normal.

Hmm? You want to know what happened to them? Well, Saber disappeared right away. Between her Noble Phantasm and the magical energy I borrowed from you in my fight against Gilgamesh, you probably didn't have enough left to sustain her.

What do I mean by "borrowed"? Oh, uh… I left out that part, didn't I? Er… you and I sort of… formed a contract. Yeah, "that" contract. Hey, don't activate your Magic Crest again! You think I would joke about that? Look, if and when you meet Rin, please don't mention it. She'll be pissed enough that I told you anything about our timeline, much less our private affairs.

H-have we done it again since then? Shut up, Archer! None of your damn business!

Okay, question time is over! Just listen, okay? I'm not done yet.

Ahem.

So after that, I became your apprentice. It was mostly in name only at the time because the war took a lot out of both of us, and not just physically. I think after all that we just wanted to relax and live like normal high school students for a little while. A month passed quickly and before we knew it, it was the day of the closing ceremony. That afternoon, you asked me to come to the Mage's Association in London with you after we both graduated the next year…

"…you idiot. Don't ask me such an obvious question."

My face is on fire, but I somehow manage to look Tohsaka in the eye and give her my honest answer. Her figure is like a silhouette that has somehow sprung to life and even the dazzling rays of the setting sun behind her seem dull and drab in comparison.

"Okay, then please give me your best regards from now on, Emiya-kun. I'm going to train you until you become a proper magus, so prepare yourself."

I nod and look down at her shoes. It's too hard for me to keep staring at her face. "…same to you. I took that seriously. I'm going to get taught by you until I become a proper magus."

"Of course. I'm going to make you an honest man and have you lead a happy life. I won't allow you to give up just by getting taken to London."

She jumps off her desk and I look up again. After dusting off her skirt, she picks up her book bag and heads towards the classroom door. "Well, there's no rest for the weary. Let's head to my house. Spring break starts today and we shouldn't waste any time."

I blink a few times and it takes me a while to register her words.

Um… where did that nice atmosphere from a few seconds ago disappear to?

"You mean we're starting my training already?" I blurt incredulously. "Now?"

Tohsaka looks back at me from the corner of her eye. "Obviously. I only have a year to whip you into decent shape before we go to London. If you aren't up to par by then, it'll reflect badly on me as your master. We have to take advantage of the time off from school since we won't be able to do as much when we're busy with our studies."

I feel like groaning, but settle for a sigh. I guess I'm not really surprised, but Tohsaka hasn't changed at all. Oh well, I like that part about her too.

…I must be a masochist.

"It's Apprentice Emiya Shirou reporting for duty then, I suppose," I say wryly. "But I'm not going to call you 'Master' so if you had any funny ideas like that, forget it, Tohsaka."

"That's fine, Shirou," she says and then turns and winks at me. "Just call me Rin."

My face heats up again. There's no way I can do that. It's way too soon for that. I need more time.

It seems I'm off the hook for now, though, because Tohsaka is already at the door. Unable to say anything else, I just follow her home. We walk in silence, but it's pleasant somehow. The warmth of the spring sun feels nice on my back.

Tohsaka pauses when we reach her front door. "Oh, in case I forget, remind me to get you a copy of my house key."

She says it so boldly that I forget to be embarrassed for a few seconds. After recovering, I blurt, "WHAT?"

"Why are you so shocked?" she asks me, looking genuinely confused. "You can't be my apprentice unless I give you a key to my workshop."

"But this is your house!" I protest. "And you're a girl! I can't have a key to a girl's house! That's like handing your mugger a loaded gun!"

"Huh?" Tohsaka says. "What are you talking about? Your analogy doesn't even make sense. I don't get what you're so concerned about."

"What's not to get?" I exclaim. "You're a girl! Don't go recklessly handing out the keys to your house to a guy!"

Tohsaka just stares at me, blinking owlishly. Then that evil grin I've come to loathe creeps up on her face. "Wow, you're still like that even after we-"

"Don't say it!" I interrupt her. "You're a girl, so have some shame!"

"Calm down, Shirou. What are you so flustered ab…" Her voices trails off. Suddenly her faces reddens like a tomato and she screams at me, "YOU IDIOT! I wasn't talking about THAT! I meant after all we've been through together, how can you still be so nervous around me!"

I shake my head. "Huh? B-but I thought…"

"PERVERT!" she screams loudly enough that people in the next town over probably heard her. "I'm not shameless! Th-that still embarrasses me, too! Why did you have to bring it up!"

She runs into her house and slams the door behind her. A second later there's an audible click.

"Go home, Shirou! We'll start the training tomorrow instead!"

Oh crap. Um… wow. I think I set a new record for my own stupidity. What the hell was I thinking? Of course Tohsaka found that just as embarrassing as me. She wasn't even thinking about it and I had to overreact like an idiot-moron-dumbass and remind her.

Ugh, I'm so clumsy with girls. Actually, no, scratch that. I'm okay with Sakura, after all. I guess I'm just clumsy with Tohsaka. Can I really help that, though? Isn't it natural for a guy to be nervous around the girl he likes?

…well, I guess I should head home now that things are like this. I'm starting to get funny looks from passersby.

I get a telephone call from Tohsaka the next morning, about an hour before noon.

"I'm coming over. Have food ready," she says simply before hanging up. I can't even get a word in edgewise. There she goes, deciding things on her own again. Her selfishness knows no bounds.

…so why am I already heading to the kitchen? Am I so spineless that I have to indulge her every whim?

That's it. I refuse. I'm her apprentice, not her maid. I have to put my foot down somewhere or she'll just walk all over me. I turn around in defiance, plant myself on my favorite cushion, and enjoy watching the birds out in the yard. Some time later, the doorbell rings.

I steel myself, rise to my feet, and answer the door. It's Tohsaka, of course and she's wearing normal clothes. I've seen it many times by now, but her long-sleeved red shirt, short black skirt, and long black stockings that draw the eye to her shapely legs are just a deadly triple threat. It's unfair for her to wear that! I call foul! Yellow card! Yellow card!

"Good morning, Emiya-kun," she greets me curtly in a clipped tone.

Her cool attitude makes me forget to be embarrassed and I suddenly regret not preparing lunch. "Um… you're not still mad about yesterday, are you Tohsaka?"

She looks at me coolly. "Mad? Why should I be mad? Can I come in?"

I'm a bit put off with how aloof she's acting, but invite her inside. She says she's not mad, but I don't think I believe her.

"Is lunch ready?" she asks as she brushes past me.

"Um… no," I admit reluctantly. I marvel at my own stupidity. I thought the incident from yesterday would just blow over after a good night's rest but I guess I was just being insensitive to Tohsaka. And now I blew my chance to smooth things over with a nice meal.

"I see," Tohsaka says. I expect to detect enmity leaking for her, but it isn't there. Has she ever been this cold to me before? I think I really pissed her off on a whole new level this time. "Hey, didn't I ask you to call me 'Rin' yesterday?"

My face heats up. "It's too sudden! You have to give me more time!"

I see a landscape of frozen tundra in her eyes. Damn it, I'm just making things worse. I have to do something to appease her.

"Tohsaka? Um… I'm really sorry about yesterday," I say honestly.

She shoots me a disinterested glance. "No, you aren't, Shirou."

I start to seriously worry I've done something really bad that I won't be able to fix when the ice finally breaks.

Tohsaka flashes one of the many deadly smiles in her arsenal. It's the one that makes her opponent feel an invisible pressure that completely robs them of the will to fight back.

"You're not sorry, Shirou… but you will be. Let's go to the dojo. We can work up an appetite together."

I'm not sure how to react. She's starting to act more like normal, and it's an improvement over getting the cold shoulder but… I'm still kind of worried. I've seen Tohsaka get angry lots of times, but she's never done anything like this before. I don't really know what to do, so I end up following her to the dojo without argument.

When we step inside, she takes out the two black ribbons she always wears in her hair and ties it into a bun. It somehow makes her look even more formidable. She's still elegant of course. Has she ever been anything but? Only now there's an edge of steel that wasn't there before, something hard and sharp rather than soft and beautiful.

No… it was probably always there, but I was too entranced by her other charms to notice.

"You're a real chauvinist, you know, Shirou?" she says suddenly. "Getting so worked over such a silly thing yesterday."

Silly? I bristle at the accusation. "I was just raised to have certain values! Maybe you think it's silly, but I don't."

"You don't think it's silly that you accepted apprenticeship with me but you won't even let me give you a key to my workshop?"

Her ruthless logic steals some of the wind from my sails. "Maybe when you put it like that," I admit.

"There's no maybe about it," Tohsaka snaps. "You seem to be hung up on the fact that I'm a girl, Shirou."

"Well you are, aren't you? You're definitely not a guy, even if you act like it sometimes, so it's natural for me to see you as a girl!"

I expect her to retaliate to my "acting like a guy" comment, but her cool expression doesn't change. I'm definitely missing something, here. Tohsaka should have a meltdown over something like that.

"I'm a girl," she agrees smoothly. "But I'm a magus first. I'm the heir to the Tohsaka family first. And now I'm your master first, as well. We'll be working together closely from now on. If you can't accept those facts, then the situation yesterday was only the tip of the iceberg. It's a big problem and we need to resolve it. I don't want to revoke your apprenticeship, so instead I'll cut you a deal."

I nod slowly. I agree it's a problem and I'm glad she's still willing to let me be her apprentice, but I'm suspicious of this "deal" she mentioned.

Feeling no small amount of trepidation, I ask, "What did you have in mind?"

"We'll have a match to prove who's right," Tohsaka declares. "I realize by now that your weird, alien brain is immune to things like rationality and compromise. Emiya Shirou is a guy who only knows how to communicate with his fists, so I'm challenging you to your own game. We'll duel and the winner has to listen to the loser. Simple enough?"

I frown at her proposition. Ignoring the part about my alien brain… am I really the type of guy who can only express himself through fighting? I know I can be clumsy with words sometimes, but I don't think I'm as bad as Tohsaka thinks.

"Um, Tohsaka, can't we just talk this out?"

"Will you accept the key to my workshop?"

"No, I can't do that."

"See? Reasoning with you using words is impossible. The only way to make you see sense is to beat it into you. It's not like fighting is my first choice either, but you're too stubborn to even meet me halfway. Giving you my key isn't just about letting you into my house. It's symbolic of the trust between master and apprentice. I wouldn't just take anyone, you know. I'm putting a lot of faith in you but you're trampling all over my good will by refusing to accept it."

The pit of my stomach balls into a knot. Geez, I feel like a real lowlife when she puts it like that. Even so, I can't abandon my morals so easily.

"I just can't do it, Tohsaka. This is how I was raised. I can't betray my ideals."

Tohsaka places her hands on her hips and sighs. "That's why I'm challenging you to a duel. Like I said, the winner has to obey the loser. Even if you hate it, I know you'd never break a promise. It's not like I'm doing this on a whim. I considered all the options, and this is the only thing I know you'd go along with."

"That's assuming I accept your challenge," I point out.

"You will," my would be opponent says frankly. It isn't a threat. Her tone has no heat to it and tells me she believes her statement to be irrevocable fact.

"And what makes you so sure of that?" I ask.

Tohsaka clucks her tongue. "Tut tut, Shirou. You think I don't know you well enough by now? Your pride as a man won't let you refuse. I'm questioning the validity of your values and making an honorable challenge. You have no choice but to defend your beliefs because if you don't, then that's like admitting defeat and I win by default."

I stare at Tohsaka, slack-jawed. I knew she was good at reading people, particularly me, but it's like she can really divine my thoughts. I can't deny her claims at all.

What the hell? This girl is the bane of my existence. It's like I'm just a puppet dancing to her strings.

"Hold on!" I protest wildly. "Maybe that's true, but what about the format of the duel? If it's magic, you know I can't win. All I can do is projection and reinforcement."

"Of course we won't use magic," Tohsaka scoffs. "If we did that and went all out against each other, we'd probably end up leveling your house. Besides, I wouldn't pick something that I'm better at than you are. If I did that, then you wouldn't really acknowledge your defeat. Why do you think we came to the dojo? You're confident with swords, right? We'll use shinai to settle this. That way there won't be any doubt in your mind when I win."

I'm impressed but can't tell if it's because of her confidence or her insanity.

"Tohsaka, that just imbalances things the other way," I say. "You've never trained in kendo. There's no meaning if I beat you."

"Exactly!" she chirps. "Even if you win, you won't be able to bring yourself to enforce our agreement because of my handicap. If I win, it'll be such a humiliating upset that you can't complain no matter how unreasonable my demands are. So no matter what the result, I lose nothing!"

…unbelievable. She really thought out every angle, didn't she? There's just one flaw.

"So why should I fight you if I have nothing to gain?"

"It's not what you have to gain," Tohsaka says with a cheeky grin. "It's what you have to lose. Can you really throw away your pride by not accepting my challenge? I already told you it's like letting me win by default."

I shake my head. "Forget it. If it's clear I'm going to win, then the shame of me beating a defenseless opponent outweighs the shame of backing down."

Tohsaka rounds on me with cold lightning in her eyes. "Hey! Don't take me lightly! All modern magi learn self-defense. You were there when I almost killed Caster with my bare hands. I won't be using reinforcement magic this time, but I have confidence in my skills even without it. You might have the advantage, but I'm definitely not helpless. Underestimate me and I'll make sure you regret it, Shirou."

It's clear that she's deadly serious about dueling me. Every excuse I've come up with has been shot down. She must have put a lot of thought into it. This isn't a joke to her or some spur of the moment improvisation. I can't possibly refuse when she's being so earnest.

"Fine!" I growl in frustration. "I accept! But since you're the challenger, I get to set the terms. It'll be a sudden death match; the first person to land a single hit on their opponent wins. Is that fine with you?"

I set rules that ensure the duel will be as short as possible. I plan to go easy on her in the first place, but I don't want to risk hurting Tohsaka by accident in a prolonged match.

"That's perfect. Do your worst, Shirou. It'll end badly for you if you don't."

She's bluffing, but I humor her anyway. "We'll see about that. I won't lose when it comes to swords, Tohsaka."

She smiles at me, but this time it's one I don't recognize. Her features are soft and delicate, yet simultaneously fierce and merciless. She seems to be teasing me and warning me at the same time.

"That's exactly why you're going to lose, Shirou. This isn't a battle between swords at all."

Her expression isn't threatening, at least not nearly as threatening as I'm used to seeing, but I find myself unnerved. I quickly shake it off. She's just trying to intimidate me and I won't let her.

Without another word, I retrieve two shinai that Fuji-nee and I use in our spars and hand one to Tohsaka. She holds it awkwardly as if gripping a baseball bat. It probably feels natural to do so, but the proper kendo grip places both hands on almost opposite sides of the hilt. The "V" formed by the curled index fingers and thumbs must line up in the center along the vertical axis of the blade. Though it may feel clumsy and unnatural at first, it allows maximum angular leverage for control and speed of one's swings.

I've been practicing with Fuji-nee for years. There's no way I'll lose to an amateur who doesn't even know how to grip their blade. Nonetheless, I walk to my starting position and turn to face my opponent. We bow and the match begins.

Neither of us moves at first. Tohsaka looks like she's trying to size me up, but for me I'm just worried about the tantrum she'll throw when I win before she even gets a chance to do anything. I'll just wait until she comes at me and end the match with a counterattack.

Finally she makes her move and charges. She's faster than I expected, but it doesn't matter. When she nears, her arc swings wide and I easily parry it. I aim at her open left side to put an end to this farce. Ordinarily I'd have to call my target, in this case "hidari-do", for the strike to be counted but there's little point to that in our informal match.

My shinai closes in swift as the wind, but Tohsaka backsteps at the last second and I swing at empty air. I look at her face and see her smirking at me. Her eyes are saying, Is that all? I thought you were better than that.

Hmph. I guess I may have underestimated her a little, but that's nothing for her to get so cocky over.

She backs away, more leery of me this time. Her ki doesn't waver, however, which I'll admit impresses me. "Ki" is the embodiment of a person's spiritual energy, and I suppose can be interpreted as a "combat aura". It encompasses everything: balance, posture, gait, and even where the eyes are looking. Tohsaka's ki tells me that she is free of doubt. She seriously believes she can win.

"I'll give you credit for spirit," I tell her.

"Spirit shmirit," she retorts. "Who needs such a useless thing? I'd rather have skill."

"That's ironic, considering you don't have any," I reply dryly. Sure, Tohsaka has me beat on most points, but now I'm in my element and she isn't. The tables have turned and for once I'm the one who gets to rub my superiority in her face.

"My little apprentice has quite a sassy mouth," Tohsaka comments.

"First of all, I'm bigger than you," I complain. "And secondly, who do you think I got it from?"

Tohsaka smiles. "So that's how it is, huh? Well I've learned a thing or two from you as well, Shirou. I guess even idiots can have admirable qualities."

As usual, I can't tell if she's trying to insult or praise me. "Oh? What qualities are those?"

She answers with her sword. Charging headlong again, she closes the distance between us even faster than last time and the extra momentum makes her blow much heavier. Our shinai meet with a loud clack and I feel some slight strain as I push her back. I probably could have dodged but it feels wrong not to meet a chivalrous frontal assault.

"I'll only tell you after you admit defeat!" Tohsaka declares.

"Not a chance!" I snap back. "I'll just make you tell me after I win! Loser has to listen to the winner, right? Get ready to sing my praises, Tohsaka!"

I switch to the offensive and step forward. My target is her right wrist. My blade arcs through the air and… misses. Tohsaka twirls away so lightly it's like she's dancing on water.

I miscalculated. Even though Tohsaka's kendo technique is terrible, her martial arts training makes her light on her feet. I won't lose if it comes to power, but she's faster than me. I stare at my opponent as if seeing her for the first time.

"Finally ready to start taking this seriously, Shirou?" she teases.

I compose myself and shrug. "Where'd you get that idea? You just surprised me a little. I'll end things with the next blow."

Tohsaka doesn't reply. Her face is tight with concentration again. She knows one misstep will be the end of her.

I take a breath and find my center. The match is starting to get away from me and I need to calm myself. If I allow my enemy to set the pace and fall to frustration, I'll lose even the matches I should win.

I step forward and aim for her wrist again. I'm about to find my target when my shinai is deflected.

"What? That's all?" Tohsaka complains while looking bored. "I've been wasting energy by dodging if your blows are that soft. Stop holding back and put some oomph into it. I already said you'll regret it if you underestimate me."

As if to prove her point, she tightens her grip and swings at my head. I can tell by the arc that's it's going to miss so I don't bother moving. I'm about to use the opportunity to counterattack when a burst of wind rushes towards my face causing me to flinch reflexively. Tohsaka is smirking at me when I open my eyes.

"What the hell?" I exclaim. "You made a shockwave from the force of your swing? What are you, a monster? Not even Saber did that in our spars!"

Tohsaka frowns. "Don't you remember when we went to the batting cages? Saber was weaker than both of us if she didn't use her magical energy. The reason she beat you so badly when you sparred was because her technique was superior. If she used her full powers against you, I'd be leaving flowers at your grave right now. My case is the opposite. I don't have any technique so I have to pull out all the stops and go full force to have a chance."

"Do you see now, Shirou? You could easily have won by now if you took the match seriously. But you've been holding back because I'm a girl and you're afraid of hurting me. I told you this isn't a battle with swords. All I need to do to win is make you acknowledge me as a worthy opponent. The second I force you to throw away your outdated male chauvinism and fight me as an equal, I win. Even if you score the winning hit, it won't matter so long as that happens."

She raises her arm and points her shinai at me. "So what'll it be, Emiya-kun? Are you going to stop holding back or are you fine with losing to a girl?"

I'm momentarily speechless. Tohsaka set me up from the very beginning. She trapped me in a scenario where no matter what the outcome, I lose.

There's no use complaining about it. Even with her strategy revealed, I can't go all out against Tohsaka. I'll just have to prove that for all her cleverness, she was the one who underestimated me. I'll win without compromising my moral code, even if she thinks its "outdated". I make a cut at her left side.

She dances away.

"Hmph," Tohsaka snorts with derision. "Still being stubborn? I should've expected as much from you. That's fine. It wouldn't be any fun if you caved in too easily."

"Oh yeah? Well same to you, Tohsaka. I don't like easy prizes, either."

Our swords clash again. It's another stalemate. Tohsaka doesn't have the skill to land a proper hit, but enough to put the pressure on me so long as I hold back. She won't win at this rate, but neither will I.

The duel continues in silence from that point forward apart from the clack of bamboo against bamboo. Words are empty, and each breath wasted only adds to our rapidly accumulating fatigue. I cut and she parries. I counterattack and she dodges. Neither of us gives up any ground and neither of us gains any. The pattern repeats ad nauseum.

It's vexing and yet…

"That's a nice expression, Shirou," Tohsaka suddenly says even as sweat dribbles down her brow.

I don't understand what she means. I feel my face. My skin is wet and sticky, but my cheek muscles are taut and my lips have parted.

I'm smiling.

Why am I smiling? This fight is ridiculous. It's just two stubborn kids who are too pigheaded to admit they're wrong. It's pointless and the only thing at stake is our pride, yet we're treating it like a desperate battle for our very lives. This duel is just an exercise in frustration and even when it finally ends, neither of us will be satisfied no matter what the outcome.

…so why? Why is a part of me thinking, "this is fun"?

I see Tohsaka smiling, too. Unlike usual, it's pure and carefree. It's a refreshing smile that makes me think the haggard, sweating girl gasping for breath in front of me is more beautiful than I've ever seen her before.

"This is fine too, don't you think, Shirou?" she says with a rich, deep-throated laugh. "It isn't what I expected, but it's not bad."

She thrusts at me again and I swat it aside. Both of our movements are sluggish and I can't even tell if I'm holding back anymore or not. It doesn't even matter. My goal has changed. I don't care about winning. I just want to keep having fun with the girl that I like.

"…this is good, too," I agree, swinging another counterstrike only for it to be evaded again.

Our blows become clumsier the more exhaustion sets in, but still our silly contest continues. Maybe neither of us cares about winning anymore, but we both hate losing.

"You're looking awfully tired, Tohsaka," I heave breathlessly. "Don't you feel like taking a rest?"

"I could keep going for another week," she replies defiantly, looking like she might collapse at any moment.

And so it goes on until the sharp clacks of our shinai have become dull thuds. Tohsaka has hers planted into the ground and she's leaning on it like a cane. My vision is starting to blur and I see two of her.

"How about… huff… a truce, Tohsaka?" I propose at last.

"Giving up?" she wheezes.

"No," I say. I'm too tired to even shake my head. "I'm saying… huff… we call this match a draw."

Relief washes over her face and I can tell she's as eager as I am to end things. "Well… I guess I can accept that… but I have one condition."

I roll my eyes. Of course she does. "What is it, Tohsaka?" I ask in resignation. I'm willing to indulge her if its reasonable.

"From now on, you have to call me Rin."

It's a surprisingly innocent request and I don't have the energy to protest or be embarrassed this time. "Deal," I groan and collapse to the ground. My opponent joins me shortly thereafter. We lie with our backs on the ground gasping for breath. I stare at the ceiling, wondering how long its been since our match started. An hour or an eternity, it could easily have been either one.

"That was fun, wasn't it, Shirou?" my worthy foe says at last.

"Yeah," I agree with a half-sigh. "Yeah, it was… Rin."

I can't remember why I was shy about calling her by that name before. It feels so natural on my lips. The name of the girl I like…

"Rin." I say her name again. I think I enjoy the taste of it.

"Hmm?"

"Um… if you're still okay with it, I'll accept that key."

"Oh?" she says. There's no surprise in her tone, as if she was accepting an inevitable outcome. "Why the change of heart?"

"I just felt like it," I mutter offhandedly. "There's no deep meaning to it or anything."

"A mood swing, huh?" Rin laughs. "And I'm supposed to be the girl, here?"

"You're incorrigible," I groan.

"…said the pot to the kettle," she retorts. Then she laughs again. "That's fine, though. You should be like this. You're a blockhead, but you're fine the way you are."

"You stole my line," I complain, but I laugh too. Yeah… just as Rin accepts me for who I am, I like her for who she is.

Again, I must be a masochist…

I hear a scraping sound and then footsteps. Rin comes into view and she leans over me. She's let her hair down again and it drapes over her shoulders like fine, flowing silk. She holds a hand out to me.

"Come on, Shirou. I'll help you with lunch. It's more fun to make together, right?"

I nod, clasping her hand.

"Yeah… it's more fun together…"

I guess you could say that was our first lesson, only I think we both learned something- about ourselves, and about each other. To be honest, half of me always admired you and felt inferior, and the other half only saw you as a girl who needed me to protect her. That might have been the first time I started to look at you as an equal.

After our match, we ate lunch and chatted about meaningless things for a while and then we went back to your workshop for my first real magic lesson. It sure didn't seem like it at first, though.

"Shirou, take off your shirt."

Rin makes a ridiculous request of me. We're in her room. I'm sitting on her bed. Obviously, there's only one way for me to react.

"WHAT! Why?"

She frowns and looks at me in irritation.

"I want to check your Magic Circuits. We should have done this a while ago, but the need hasn't been urgent since you haven't used magic for the past month. But this is definitely the first necessary step before we do anything else for your training."

Oh, so she wasn't… never mind. "You think something might be wrong?" I ask.

"Maybe," Rin admits. "It goes back to your first projection. Your left arm went numb, right?"

"Yeah," I confirm with a nod. It happened that night in our first fight with Caster and Kuzuki-sensei. "But Archer helped me out with that and it was fine after the next day."

"I know," Rin says. "He mentioned it briefly. He said you activated a Magic Circuit that had gone dormant because you never used it and it was your body getting used to the sudden addition to your nervous system. It didn't really occur to me at the time, but now I have to ask: how did you use magic before then without a Magic Circuit?"

"I made one," I answer with a shrug.

Rin stares blankly at me. "Made one? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like," I reply, confused by Rin's reaction. She's a legitimate magus, unlike me. Shouldn't she know these things already?

She narrows her eyes at me. "Describe to me how you 'made' a Magic Circuit."

Still not knowing what she's getting at, I tell her about my training. Every night for eight years, I practiced it my shed, the dangerous art of magic that felt like inserting a burning metal rod into my backbone.

When I finish, Rin is seething. "You… you IDIOT! You turned your SPINAL CORD into a Magic Circuit! It's a miracle you're still alive!"

"I did what?"

"Unbelievable!" Rin continues to rant. "How are you not dead by now? Don't you realize how incredibly dangerous that is? Every time you 'made' a Magic Circuit, you were really jury-rigging a nerve, the most important nerve in your body for crying out loud! That's all a Magic Circuit is: a specialized nerve for regulating the flow of prana. You didn't actually 'make' anything. You 'changed' a nerve that already existed to take on a new function."

"Oh," I blurt. "That sounds… dangerous."

"It IS dangerous! VERY dangerous! You have no idea how lucky you are! You really trained like that every night for eight years?"

"Yeah. Every night at midnight."

"Midnight?" Rin parrots and then pauses, her tirade apparently put on hold. "Maybe luck isn't the only reason you're alive. Midnight is probably the time of day when your magical energy is most potent." She sighs. "But seriously, midnight? How cliché can you get?"

It sounds like she's making fun of me. "Oh yeah? When is your peak, then?"

"Me?" Rin asks. "Mine is two o'clock in the morning. That's the time I performed the summoning ritual for my Servant, or I meant to, anyway… Somehow the clocks in my house got all messed up and I started it an hour early. It was a mess. I ended up botching the whole thing and my living room got wrecked when I summoned Archer."

I fight the urge to laugh at Rin's admission. She's usually really reliable, but she has a habit of screwing up when it counts the most.

"Ugh, we're getting off track. I won't say anything more about it, but NEVER 'make' a Magic Circuit again. Your natural ones exist for a purpose, so use them. You can switch them on and off, right?"

I nod. "Yeah, I could ever since that night I used projection against Kuzuki-sensei."

"Good. Then I won't have to feed you one of my jewels."

I blink. "What? What do you mean feed-"

Rin ignores me. "Go ahead and take your shirt off now. I want to check how many Circuits you have and if there are any more dormant ones."

I really don't know whether I should be happy or disappointed that Rin can order me to strip with a straight face, but I reluctantly obey. I'd be wasting my breath arguing with her, and she's already seen me topless from treating my wounds and… that other thing I'm going to stop thinking about right now before I blow a gasket.

"Ahhhhh!"

"Oh, hush, you big baby. My hands aren't that cold."

"You have the bedside manner of a wolverine!" I hiss. Not cold? I don't think so. What did she do, dip her hands in liquid nitrogen?

"Just hold still," Rin snaps. "I can't do this properly with you squirming around."

I obey only when the blizzard buffeting my back subsides.

"Good. Now brace yourself. This might hurt a little."

Searing, gut-wrenching pain assaults my senses. It feels like acid is eating away my insides. My vision blurs, not because I feel dizzy or lightheaded, but because I can't hold back the tears. My consciousness starts to fade and the world becomes midnight, when it finally stops. I regain my senses and find myself staring up at the ceiling. Rin kneels over me with an apologetic look on her face. She dabs something cool to my forehead and I briefly eye a washcloth as she sets it aside.

"Sorry, Shirou. I didn't think it would be that bad."

I grunt and try to sit up. Aside from a few aches, the pain is gone. I'm about to initiate a tirade when I see Rin hanging her head, eyes downcast.

"…don't worry about it," I sigh. I can't get mad at her if she's genuinely remorseful like that. "How about telling me what just happened?"

Rin nods and helps me to my feet. I don't remember falling from the bed. A hand guides me back to the plush surface and the person that hands belongs to sits beside me.

"Well, how should I put this?" she says hesitantly. "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you have more Magic Circuits than I thought. Twenty-seven, to be exact."

I stare at her. The number is meaningless to me. "Is that a lot?"

Rin chews on her cheek. "Mmm… for someone who isn't from a lineage of magi, it is. Your average magus has roughly twenty natural Magic Circuits, give or take. Generally speaking, the number increases with your family history but there are a few exceptions, like the Matous. To give you better context, I have forty Magic Circuits, not counting the ones in my Magic Crest. Twenty-seven is pretty impressive for a regular guy like you. If you'd been taught magic from when you were born, you'd probably be an above average magus by now."

"Really?" I ask excitedly. I thought I never had a chance of competing with legitimate magi like Rin, but it doesn't sound like there's much of a difference between twenty-seven and forty. She even said I have a few more than the average magus. Then I remember Rin's reticence and my enthusiasm wanes. "So what's the bad news, then?"

Rin folds her hands and looks down. "Right, the bad news. Well, it looks like only two of your Circuits were opened, the ones that made your arm go numb. The other twenty-five were inactive. Do you remember how I said it's dangerous to tamper with your body now that it's almost fully developed? I forced some prana into the inactive circuits to open them without really thinking about that."

"Wait," I protest. "You sent your odo into my body? No wonder I blacked out from the pain!"

Prana, the power that fuels magic, comes from two sources: mana and odo. Mana exists in nature and is produced by the world itself. Odo is the life force of living organisms, which all creatures possess. Normal humans have it too; they just can't convert it into prana to do magic.

Odo is unique for every living creature and trying to insert your own odo into something or someone else is like doing a transfusion with incompatible blood types. The body will reject foreign odo like a poison, which must have been the source of the pain I felt. I can't believe Rin would be so irresponsible!

"That's not it," Rin denies. I think I see a blush creeping up her neck. "It's not a problem for you and me. Our contract…"

Oh, that's right. Rin and I connected our Magic Circuits so I could use her prana in my fight against Gilgamesh. I guess that means her prana and mine should be compatible as a result. Ha, how did I forget that little… detail…

Oh crap. CRAP. I've been trying so hard no to think about that, so what am I doing thinking about it? Come on, Shirou, think unsexy thoughts! Think unsexy thoughts! Don't even glance at Rin right now! Don't focus on that fact that the two of you are alone in her bedroom!

Damn my healthy male libido! This isn't the time!

I hear the sound of a throat clearing. "A-anyway, like I was saying about your Magic Circuits…"

"Right!" I agree with a yelp, staring dead on at the wall in front of me. I'm not conscious of the beautiful girl on the bed next to me at all. Nope. Not. At. All. "My Magic Circuits! What about them?"

"Um… yeah. They're in bad shape. You haven't used them for seventeen years so they've wasted away like atrophied muscles. It was a massive shock to your nervous system just realizing they were there for the first time. I don't think you'll ever have the full capacity you might have had with them, so you'll never be as good a magus as you could have been."

The depressing news is enough to wash away my self-consciousness and embarrassment. "Oh," I mutter blankly. Am I going to have to give up on being a magus, after all? "There isn't anything you can do, is there, Rin?"

I turn to her and she sighs and shakes her head. "Unfortunately, no. There's no way to repair nerve damage. We might be able to prevent any further deterioration, however. Their functionality is impaired, but not nonexistent. If you take it easy and practice using only small amounts of prana, you might be able to rehabilitate them somewhat. I'd say you can maybe salvage about half of their original capacity if you gradually increase the amount of strain until the Circuits get used to it."

Rin smiles reassuringly and the pressure on my chest eases a bit. "That's still not bad, though. I thought you only had a few Magic Circuits in the first place, so half capacity is still a lot better than what I thought you'd have to work with. That, and the skills you absorbed from Archer give you a huge leg up on where you really ought to be in your training. If you're careful about not overexerting yourself, then I bet by the time we leave for London you'll be able to use your Reality Marble without my help."

The thought cheers me somewhat. "I guess that's something," I admit.

"It's more than 'something'!" Rin scolds me in her usual irritated tone. It seems she's back to par. "A Reality Marble is really high level thaumaturgy! It's almost on the same level as Sorcery! Archer probably trained for decades to master it but thanks to your exposure to him, you learned it in a few days!"

To be precise, Archer spent twenty years mastering Unlimited Blade Works. I know from the glimpses I saw of his memories. He spent ten years training his mind and body to an adequate level, and another ten to actually produce the Reality Marble. It bothers me a bit that I have him to thank for my current skill level rather than my own sweat and hard work, but I probably shouldn't complain about something like that, especially not in front of Rin. She's one of those 'the end justifies the means' type of people.

"I just need to take it easy with the new Circuits?" I confirm. "So, what? No projection or anything like that?"

"Right," Rin says with a nod. "It's too bad, but it also means that I can't teach you any practical magic for a least a few months while you're adjusting. It might be a blessing in disguise, though. I bet your theoretical knowledge is rather lacking."

Lacking? That's an understatement. Dad hardly taught me anything besides what I needed to know to get started.

"First, we'll review the basics," Rin declares, slipping into 'sensei mode'. She gets up from her seat on the bed and paces the room. "I was planning to do so, anyway. You have no business with the trickier stuff until you have a solid foundation on which to build."

I nod. That sounds reasonable enough.

"First up is the Magic Crest. I know you don't have one, but it's the single most important treasure of any magi. It's the collected works of all the previous generations in a family lineage, and it is the duty of the current successor to eventually add to it and pass it down to his or her child."

Rin rolls up her sleeve, revealing the skin of her arm. A blue light ignites and traces lines across her wrist and forearm leading all the way up to her shoulder.

"A Magic Crest is basically a collection of Magic Circuits engraved on the body and given stable form. Residing in every Circuit is at least one spell chosen by the magus who added that particular Circuit to the Crest. The spells stored in a Magic Crest can be invoked without the need for verbal incantation. The Circuits in the Magic Crest don't store prana like the ones inside the body, but they do add to the total maximum discharge of magical energy. It's capacity vs. output. Are you following me so far?"

"I think so," I reply thoughtfully. "So if the magus was a gun, capacity would be like the number of bullets it could hold and output would be the rate of fire."

"Oh, you're smarter than you look!" Rin compliments me with light sarcasm. "I already knew, but it still surprises me every time you demonstrate it."

I ignore her. It seems to be getting easier for me, like I'm building up an immunity. "So how many Circuits are in your Magic Crest?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Forty," Rin answers proudly. "The Tohsaka line goes a fair way back, so my Crest is more substantial than most. Between it and my natural Magic Circuits, I can discharge a maximum of about one thousand units of prana."

I stare at her cock-eyed. "One thousand?" I echo with no small amount of skepticism. One thousand prana is about how much a Rank A Noble Phantasm needs. "You're kidding. If you could do that, I bet you could've won the Grail War by yourself."

"Don't be an idiot," Rin snaps. "Think about your analogy. What does a gun's firing rate matter if it doesn't have any ammo? First of all, my body can't hold more than about five hundred units of prana. Capacity vs. output, remember? And even if I drain that to the last drop, then I'm like a gun that's fired its last bullet. I'd have nothing left to defend myself with. Not to mention I'd be so tired I wouldn't even have energy enough to walk."

I scratch my head. I kinda get the general idea, but it seems like Rin's lecture is getting derailed by tangents.

"So basically, a Magic Crest is a really useful thing to have," I summarize succinctly. "Are you going to teach me how to make one or something?"

Rin looks surprised for a second, but then shakes her head. "No, there's no point. You'd have to take Magic Circuits out of your body to do that and it would only reduce your prana capacity without having any real benefits."

"But I'd want one to pass down to my kid someday, wouldn't I?" I point out.

Rin shakes her head again. "I told you, there's no point. A child can only inherit one Magic Crest."

The words pop out of her mouth and hang in the air. Um… I might not be the shiniest penny in the fountain, but I definitely understood the implication of what she just said.

"Rin, did you just…?"

"Forget it!" she blurts. Her face is several shades darker than it was a few seconds ago. "It was a slip of the tongue! I didn't mean anything by it! Just… just forget it!"

"O-okay," I stammer. There's no way I can forget it, but I'll just pretend to for now. I don't think either of us is ready to enter that territory at this point.

I remain seated on the bed, watching as Rin marches to a corner of a room and bangs her head against the wall. I can practically see the steam rising from her head and she's desperately trying not to look at me. For a few minutes, awkward silence hangs heavy in the air.

Finally I can't bear it anymore and I clear my throat to try to break the tension. "Ahem! Um, I wish I knew more about my dad's Magic Crest," I blurt. Actually, I'm not really all that interested but I need something to say and it's the first random thing that pops into my mind.

Rin turns around hesitantly to face me. It's obvious she knows I'm not being sincere, but she goes along with it anyway. "Oh, well we can probably find out."

"Really?" I ask. My feigned interest has instantly become genuine. "How? Don't tell me we'd have to dig his corpse up."

"Nothing so crass," Rin says with a weak chuckle. I'm glad because the awkwardness from before seems to be dissipating. "Your dad used to be a member of the Mage's Association, didn't he? There's probably information in their archives about it. Since you're his heir, you can request them to send you a copy."

"Is it that easy?" I marvel. "So I just have to write them a letter?"

"It... might get a little more complicated," Rin admits. "The fact that you're adopted will give them grounds to dispute your claim. Blood counts for a lot in the Association. Did your father ever fill out any legal papers when he took custody of you?"

I nod. "As far as I know. I would think social services would have had something to say, otherwise."

"You should probably request copies when it's convenient, then," Rin suggests. "With the proper documentation, we can make a case for your right to his family's accumulated works. I doubt it's all that impressive. I've never heard of an Emiya family making any mark, so chances are it's a relatively new line. Magi can be pretty selfish about keeping knowledge for themselves, but it wouldn't be worth it to fight you over a neophyte magus line's research. And it's not like we're talking about the actual Crest or anything. Now THAT they would fight you tooth and nail over."

I frown. "You mean the actual Crest, itself? How could they have something like that? Can a Crest exist without being transplanted onto a body?"

Rin shrugs noncommittally. "I don't know the details, but the Association has a method of extracting a Magic Crest from a body and then storing it. If a magus dies without having passed on their Crest, the Association will take custody of it. If the magus has any living kin, then it's returned to the family to be inherited. If they don't, the Association keeps it for its own research. Of course, your father's body has long since decomposed, so this is all just hypothetical. Even if they did have the Crest and you somehow managed to gain custody of it, you wouldn't want to attempt a transplant. Not only are you not blood related, but your body has matured too much at this point. If you tried it, you'd die for sure."

"I know," I agree. "Despite what you might think, I'm not that reckless." I ignore the skeptical look on her face. "I don't care about the Crest in that way. I've just always wanted to know about the sort of magecraft Dad did. He never talked about it beyond the basics he taught me. He was always tight-lipped about anything related to thaumaturgy, and even more so about his past."

Rin smiles. "Maybe he wasn't such an oddball magus after all, then, if he was that secretive."

"I honestly don't know," I admit. "When it comes down to it, I hardly knew anything about him."

Emiya Kiritsugu was my hero more than anything, a man I looked up to and idolized. But he was also a complete mystery, and it feels a bit lonely never having learned about the experiences that made him the man he was. He took me in and raised me as his own. I'm not exactly unbiased, but I think he did a fine job of it, too. But did I ever know who he really was? The lines and wrinkles etched into his world weary face, and the sad, distant look in his eyes whenever I asked about his past... There had been a story there, and all I'd ever glimpsed were the last few pages.

For all I know, the Emiya Crest may hardly qualify as a footnote. Considering Dad's disdain for magecraft, it's reasonable to assume that he probably even abandoned his family's research.

Still, that tenuous connection might be all that's left to me now that he's dead. And, in the end, I want to know more about the man who came to call me "son".

"Rin, do you have a pen and paper? I want to write that letter."

After that, you helped me write a request to the Mage's Association and we sent it off the next day. Little did I know that the Emiya Crest would prove to be a much pricklier issue than you expected. That came much later though, and we had other troubles on the horizon.

The new term started in two more weeks, and it wouldn't be long before the whole school learned of my relationship with the school's idol and number one honor student, Tohsaka Rin.