Trikru unions and Skaikru weddings were very different from each other, yet strangely similar. Both involve exchanging vows, promises of love, both recite oaths to themselves and to each other before pledging their love to each other. The main difference is what is used to tie them together.

For Skaikru, it's an exchange of rings, a constant reminder of the other half of them on display at all times. Two rings symbolising an endless loop, meaning an endless love. For Trikru, it's hand wrapping a physical moment of tying their hearts and souls together.

Hidden away from everyone the two-woman laid intertwined deciding how they should procced with their wedding ceremony. In both cultures it is common to have the ceremony in front of others to share their love with those closest to them, but it is also as common for the ceremonies to be private events held just between the two of them.

Which is what their current dilemma is. Or to Clarke at least. She doesn't know if she wants to be married in front of her friends. She would prefer to have a private union with only her and Niylah, but she will do whatever Niylah wants to do on the matter. This is their wedding after all.

"You're overthinking things again." Niylah hums from next to her, sounding more amused then annoyed, thankfully.

Night had long since settled between them, if anything, it was closer to dawn then midnight, not that Clarke would have noticed the change in truth. Getting lost in her own mind sometimes feels like she's on a different planet altogether.

Yet no matter how far gone she might be, she will always come back to Niylah in a heartbeat. "No, I'm not." Clarke tries to refute, only earning a small laugh from Niylah in return.

"Yes, you are." Niylah shakes her head before resting it on Clarke's chest. "What's on your mind?"

Seeing there is no point in arguing, she gives in, admitting to what has been weighing on her mind. "For our union... do you want it with the others or private?"

Niylah hums into her chest thinking the question over before coming to her answer. "Private."

"Really." Surprise tints Clarke's voice upon hearing this. She thought Niylah would have wanted a more public event.

Pushing herself up, Niylah leans over with a small grin. "You seem surprised."

"I am," Clarke admits, wanting to be closer to Niylah by sliding her hands down to Niylah's hips, encouraging her to straddle rather than just leaning above her. The weight on her lap is comforting, grounding as Niylah smiles down at her. "I wasn't sure which you would have preferred."

"Our relationship has always been private," Niylah tells her. "Whether we intended it to be or not. Yes, I want our friends to be happy for us and share in our joy. But this... this union is for us. Not them."

Clarke releases a sigh of relief, she wasn't even aware she was holding. "I love you."

Niylah giggles, "I know." Niylah looks up out to the vast night sky filled with stars that shine and gleam brighter than usual. Clarke follows sitting up as well, keeping a solid on on Niylah, not wanting her to move from her lap while making sure the furs remain wrapped around Niylah. "You know, this reminds me of our time in Arkadia."

Sometimes at night when things became too stressful for Clarke, she would try to escape her responsibilities by climbing on to part of the roof lie down and watch the stars Being inside all the time, in those close quarter corridors, sealed rooms and enclosed solid metal doors freak her out. They remind her too much of her time locked away in solitary.

One year.

She spent a year trapped within the same four walls. She ate, sleep and went to the bathroom in the same four walls. No one was allowed to see her. Meal shoved through a slot in the door. She was isolated from the rest of the ark, from Wells and her mother for a year.

A year where she could do nothing but sit alone with her thoughts as she waited the death, until she turned eighteen and was floated like her father for knowing the truth about the Ark dying. It was a worse kind of torture then any physical pain she had undergone. Her father's death played on replay in her mind, in her dreams, the guilt she bore thinking it was her trusting Wells with the information that killed her father.

Her art gave her something else to focus on. Something to do other then slowly drive herself crazy. It was awful. At times, she thinks she would have preferred to have been floated alongside her father.

The Ark's remains made up their camp. A shrine to her people and their unique cultural. Her peoples safe place among a scary new world. But to her it was her prison still. It would always be her cage. Even when she was able to talk to others again, to be around people she was still isolated. The leader who sat alone at the top.

She supposes that's why she struggles to voice her thoughts and feelings most of the time. In that cell, she couldn't. It was all wrapped up inside of her. Twisting and coiling around her like a noose choking her from the inside. Her thoughts were her only companion, and her feelings hurt too much before turning numb. To nothing but boredom, and hoping her death would come soon to save her from this torment.

In some ways, she was less lonely in her cell. At least then, she knew no one could talk to her. In that camp, people could talk to her. But no one did. Only asking for orders and expecting her to have all the answers. She was alone again in a completely different way.

An even worse way.

So, most nights or whenever she really could, she would climb on to the roof. A reminder that she isn't as trapped as she feels. That isn't in that cell any longer. She's not sure how Niylah found her, but one night she climbed up and lay next to Clarke, not saying anything, simply basking in the beauty of the night sky.

Admittedly, a part of her wanted to open up about it. To explain to Niylah, who grew up on the ground and felt the metal structure as suffocating as she did. But she never dared open that can of worms. It wouldn't have been fair to dump all that upon her friend as well as everything else. So, they sat in silence enjoying the night sky and the little taste of freedom it offered.

It was on that roof that Clarke swallowed past her fear and kissed Niylah for the first time since their night together in Niylah's trading hut. The first time Clarke had allowed herself to do something for herself rather than her people.

"I've always loved looking at the stars. Always felt drawn to them." Niylah admits softly, offering her a small, timid smile she knows never ceases to make Clarke's heart melt.

"I felt the same with the ground. Me and my dad would sit and stare down at the earth wondering what life would be like down here." They had a small place where they would go and just look out the window at the earth below. Wells would join them. In some ways it similar to what she shared with Niylah.

"Maybe we were both looking for something." Niylah supplies looking down on her with something that can be described as pure endearment and devotion wrapped in love.

Oh, she was looking for something.

Back on the Ark, all she wanted was to learn to be a doctor and help people. To follow in her mother and father's footsteps and be a vital part of their society. She and Wells once said that they would be just like their parents when they were older. Him the chancellor and her his right hand and head of medical. She wanted a reason for life to make sense. As stupid as it sounds, she wanted to know her life had some kind of meaning. Well, she got that. Just not in the way she expected. The ground changed everything. Not just about how she viewed the world and the role she would play, but her. It changed her.

And not in a good way.

The darker parts of her, parts she didn't know were there grew in strength until at times it felt like all she was nothing but darkness. But Niylah showed her she was wrong. That she was not all darkness. That it was just a part of her. She was a mixture of light and dark while Niylah was all light. Something she could hold onto when times get hard, and her mind begins to run.

The amount of time she and Niylah have been pulled apart only to find each other again makes her wonder if it was down to something more than just chance. At the end of the day, it's them against everything else. And she wouldn't have it any other way.

"I'm not looking anymore," Clarke admits. She stopped looking for someone else a long time ago. She couldn't force herself to move on when they were broken up. Couldn't bare to imagine Niylah with someone else.

She dreamed a few times in their six years apart that when they reunited, she would discover Niylah happy with someone else. That she was able to move on in her absence. She never would have held it against Niylah, but it still would have hurt. When Niylah told her she hadn't been with anyone in those years apart she was internally cheering like she won some great prize. Because she did. She still had a chance with Niylah.

Niylah was it for her. She knew that even before the death wave came. Why would she need to look elsewhere?

Niylah nestles into her, allowing for Clarke to hold her closer. "Neither am I," Niylah confesses, bringing a smile to Clarke's lips. She doesn't know what she ever did to deserve Niylah, because in this life everything contradicts the narrative that she should have something so good. Yet here she is at the end of the time with Niylah uncloaked with her. "Yet I can still feel you drifting away."

"Have I ever told you about my time in prison?" Clarke asks, already knowing she hasn't. She's refused to speak about this to anyone. Kept these thoughts trapped at the back of her mind in fear of what might happen if they were exposed.

Knowing what Octavia went through for years felt small in comparison. Even though Octavia had Bellamy and her mother she was still trapped for longer. She didn't want the pity or to turn what happened to her into some kind of contest.

Silence was preferable to the comments others would have made.

Niylah takes a moment to think. Going over all their conversations about her arrest. Clarke almost laughs, remembering the face Niylah pulled when she told her that she was once arrested for treason. Niylah had expected many things from her but never hearing that. "No... All you said was why you were arrested and how you joined the hundred."

Clarke nods shifting to be able to hold Niylah closer as she knows she is walking down a dark path. But if she and Niylah are to marry each other Niylah needs to understand why she is the way she is. And her time in confinement plays a larger role then she has ever let on.

"I don't like thinking about that time." She goes out of her way to actively avoid that. Even when Miller and O wanted to talk about their time in prison, they would always look to her and she would brush it off quickly redirecting the conversation. "Everyone always assumed that it was the ground that changed me. That being a leader made me more closed off. The hundred never knew me beforehand, and when my mom came to the ground, it was easy to use the war as an excuse as to why I was different."

Wells was the only one to click on to something. Even when she was infuriated with him and lashing out, he knew something more was going on. Something she didn't want to talk about. Eventually, he would have pushed her to talk. If he didn't die, she might have been willing to open up to him.

But fate took him away and she bottled that up inside more. Praying no one would know just how bad it was for her.

"But it wasn't the ground that changed me. It only further brought out the darkness. My cell broke something in me. I was locked away in a small, cramped space for over a year. No one spoke to me; I couldn't speak to anyone. I was trapped in a place I couldn't escape from with nothing but my thoughts for company. It... it slowly drove me mad. The silence felt like it was constantly pressing down on me. Like I was being crushed. I used to have conversations with myself just to fill the silence. To not feel as alone. But it didn't work. Having conversations in my head worked better. It was like there were others around. I had nothing else to do but wait till they executed me. An axe hanging above my head while I slowly lost my mind."

"Klark."

"For over a year, it was just me, my thoughts and my empty feelings. On the ground, I was the leader who had to act strong. Everything was suppressed as revealing what I truly thought or felt would be latched upon by others. Back in Arkadia, I was able to open up to you. As slowly as it was. But then we were parted again for six years. Yes, I had Maddie, but I couldn't show her any fears or weakness. She needed me to be strong. And I internalised a lot. Which I'm sure you know."

Niylah nods, knowing exactly what she means. "Yes, you drift off a lot. Even when..."

"When I'm not having a depressive episode." She fills in. Others might see her as distant and disconnected when she's in the midst of her worst, but Niylah sees it all the time. The small moment where, for a second the bad thoughts take control before she can snap back. "I am trying to be better. To not get so easily lost in my own head and to open myself up to you. But it's hard. Most of the time, it feels impossible, but I do try Niylah. For you."

"I know." Niylah rubs her nose against Clarke's. "I see how hard it is for you at times. Even when you're happy. I know it's always there. I know how hard you fight it. And I know that despite all that, all the struggles and brokenness inside of you, I see you trying for me. Even no,w you're fighting yourself to let me in. You have no idea how much that means to me, Klark."

Sometimes it feels like she's fighting an endless, pointless war with herself. A war that will never end. Always haunting, always lurking on the edges of her soul. "I wish I weren't like this. That I could be better for you."

Niylah deserves to have someone like that. Someone not dragging her down all the time.

"I don't need better Klark. I need you." Niylah reminds her firmly. She's said this a few times now. Never does she sound annoyed or tired of having to repeat the same phrase. It's always with the same certainty and care. "No matter how damaged you see yourself."

"I'm still going to-"

"I know." Niylah cuts in before she could say she is always going to struggle with this. That despite how much she may wish it, this will always be a part of her. "And I accept that about you. No matter how lost you get inside yourself, I'll always be here to pull you back."

Closing her eyes, she presses into Niylah's neck. Hiding in the crook as she tries to lighten the mood. "Sounds like a marriage vow." She jokes.

"It is," Niylah confirms, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "We are in this together Klark. The good and the bad."

"Marry me."

Niylah lets out a quiet laugh. "You've already asked me that."

Clarke pulls back far enough to meet Niylah's eyes. "I mean now. Marry me now. I don't want to wait." She said to Niylah earlier that she might not be sure of many things in her life, but the one thing she is sure of is Niylah and their relationship. Why wait any longer then needed?

For a few seconds that feel like an eternity, Niylah doesn't say anything. Only moving further away from her, causing Clarke's heart to sink, wondering if she pushed too much. Except Niylah stays within her grasp instead reaching out to their travel bag and begins to root around in it.

She pulls out various items Clarke didn't even know she had packed before Niylah lets out a small gasp of cheer when she finds the makeshift first aid kit. Only furthering Clarke's ongoing confusion as to what is going on. Something that becomes clearer than Niylah empties the kit, picking up their version of bandage, unfurling it and offering it to Clarke with a smug smile.

They may not have rings to exchange as would be Skaikru custom. But they have something to tie them together in Trikru culture.

Taking the end of one side of the bandage she carefully wraps it around her hand as Niylah does the same on the other side until they come together in the middle. Never of them can hide their smiles as they perform the union. Binding themselves together forever.

"Hey guys how was your trip." Raven shouts out being the first one to spot them as they return to camp after a week away. Everyone looks over interested how it played out. Clarke can see the worry on their faces as they take her in.

"It was nice, very peaceful and beautiful," Clarke answers, taking up one of the empty spaces on the logs with Niylah dropping down next to her. The two of them had talked about how to handle their reunion with the others.

Niylah of course taking great pleasure in setting up how to reveal their marriage. All they have to do is wait for the inevitable question. They had scraped their original bet changing it to who would be the member to ask said question.

"Glad to hear it." Indra says with a hint of relief noting how more Clarke like she was before going back to eating her dinner. Neither of them had bet on Indra.

"So," Octavia begins and Clarke winces as it was O Niylah betted on. She had chosen Raven because her friend is always asking intrusive questions. But no the one time she needs her to try and dig into her business she decides not to. "What did you two do."

"Oh..." Niylah sends her a self-satisfied look. Great, now Clarke has to do all of Niylah's duties for a week. Clarke nods, accepting her defeat as Niylah turns back to the group as casually as asking someone how their day was announced. "We got married and enjoyed our honeymoon."

"Aww, that's great." Echo says sending them a small smile before like everyone else goes back to having a mouthful of their dinner.

She and Niylah quickly share exasperated looks at how little of a reaction they got while Hope starts making them a bowl of food. Seriously... nothing. They got nothing for that.

...

...

...

Then everyone goes still a look of befuddlement on their faces as everyone suddenly snaps their heads towards them wide eyed with various degrees of astonishment on their face as they all shout, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT MARRIED."

There it is. Taking hold of Niylah's hand, she can't stop the bundle of laughter that escapes her. Well… at least they finally know.