INT. SCP FOUNDATION - CLASS-D DORMITORIES
The scene opens with all 11 Loud siblings, Clyde, Bart, and Milhouse in their orange Class-D uniforms, crammed into a single briefing room.
LINCOLN LOUD:
(rubbing his temples)
"After a giant flesh ship, a digital dog stalker, and that freaky sea object, now they want me to—what?—interview Cain?"
LORI LOUD:
"You better not screw this up, Lincoln. I swear if I get reassigned to another SCP bloodbath, I'm gonna lose it."
LUNA LOUD:
"Righteous, bro. Guy's cursed but chill, yeah? Play your cards right."
CLYDE McBRIDE:
"Just don't die. My mom will ground me into next year if you do."
MAIN PLOT: LINCOLN VS. SCP-073 (CAIN)
INT. CONTAINMENT CELL - SCP-073
Lincoln walks into a plain, minimalistic room. Sitting in the center is a calm, muscular man with glowing inscriptions in ancient languages carved into his arms and face.
SCP-073 (CAIN):
"Ah, another lamb sent to ask questions. Come, sit."
LINCOLN:
"Uh... hi. I'm Lincoln. I guess I'm supposed to... interview you?"
CAIN:
"And here I thought I was the cursed one."
They both chuckle—awkwardly.
LINCOLN:
"So, you can't touch plants, right?"
CAIN:
"If you want to call triggering plant-wide decay with a single touch 'can't,' sure."
Lincoln flinches. Cain notices.
CAIN:
"Relax, child. I'm not here to hurt you. I've accepted my fate. You, however—you're a spark in a pile of ashes."
LINCOLN:
"Well... that's poetic... and kinda depressing."
SIDE-PLOT 1: CARTMAN'S CHAOS
INT. SCP-682 CONTAINMENT - TEST ROOM 14
Cartman stands proudly in a lab coat. Butters wears a padded Class-D suit, holding a rolled-up newspaper.
CARTMAN:
"Go on, Butters! Give the big lizard a tummy rub! We'll tame this bastard like a puppy!"
BUTTERS:
"I-I dunno, Eric... this don't feel right—"
SCP-682 ROARS and launches itself toward Butters. He yelps and grabs the nearest SCP crate and tosses it blindly—inside is SCP-409.
RESEARCHER:
"OH GOD—409?! THAT'S—!"
SCP-682 screeches in pain as crystal growths begin erupting across its skin.
CARTMAN:
"Wait... wait! Did we just f*ing hurt 682?!"
RESEARCHER:
"Yes. Butters, you idiot—you might've actually found a weakness!"
The O5 Council watches via camera. One O5 leans to another.
O5-3:
"...Promote him again?"
O5-5:
"Why not. Chaos seems to work."
SIDE-PLOT 2: LOLA BOA IN HEAVEN
EXT. CARTOONY CLOUD HEAVEN
Lola Boa slithers up a gold cloud staircase, wide-eyed. Suddenly, she's greeted by... DEATH from Family Guy.
DEATH:
"Sup. You're dead. But you got options."
LOLA BOA (Spanish accent):
"I got eaten by a ship with teeth, amigo. Ain't that a little overkill?"
DEATH:
"Pass 7 trials, you get your scaly butt back on Earth. Deal?"
LOLA BOA:
"Let's roll."
SIDE-PLOT 3: LAWSUITS AND MONSTERS
INT. FOUNDATION COURTROOM
Clyde Donovan, in a suit two sizes too big, points an accusing finger at Lena Saberwing.
CLYDE DONOVAN:
"You illegally contained my mom—Magica De Spell! That's maternal cruelty!"
LENA:
"She tried to turn the guards into toads! I did the world a favor!"
Webby Vanderquack interrupts, holding documents.
WEBBY:
"Actually, under Article 9 of Cross-Entity Containment, Magica's fair game."
ERIC CARTMAN (now in Researcher uniform):
"And you can't sue the Foundation anyway. It's literally above international law, dumbass."
SUDDENLY—alarms blare.
INTERCOM:
"Warning: SCP-5031 has entered courtroom sector. Repeat, SCP-5031 is loose."
A horrific yet childlike "murder monster" with culinary flair stumbles in... and offers a plate of perfectly cooked steak.
ERIC CARTMAN:
"...Did it just serve me dinner?"
CLYDE DONOVAN:
"I'm dropping the lawsuit."
BACK TO LINCOLN AND CAIN
CAIN:
"You wear too much burden for a boy. Maybe someday you'll let go of the weight."
LINCOLN:
"I don't have time to let go. Not while there's monsters trying to kill everyone."
CAIN:
"...You remind me of someone. Long ago."
A pause. The containment door opens. Lincoln turns to leave.
CAIN (softly):
"Good luck, little spark."
LINCOLN:
"...Thanks, Cain."
INT. OBSERVATION ROOM
Leni, Lucy, Lisa, and Luan watch Lincoln walk out, shaken but safe.
LISA:
"Curious. Cain displayed unusually calm behavior. Lincoln must've made a meaningful impact."
LUNA:
"Yeah! Go, bro!"
LORI:
"...God, I need coffee."
TO BE CONTINUED...
Next Time on Loud Foundation Files:
SCP-1000 (Bigfoot), a missing moon, and Stan Marsh accidentally becomes a Site Director?!