Leah fell to the ground. She huffed, pushing herself back to her feet. She tried to throw herself back into the fight.

Latshaw blocked her. He pushed her back. Leah stumbled, barely keeping herself from falling again. She glared at him. Latshaw glared right back. "Bench! Now!"

Leah huffed. She marched off, angry. Once she sat down she went about throwing off all the workout gear she wore. She was done. It didn't matter that Latshaw would probably call her back up to practice, Leah wanted to go home. Or take a walk, angrily march in the streets of Cardiff. That would calm her down.

When she was doing this, Garfield walked over to her side.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Leah snapped.

Garfield nodded. He leaned against the wall, looking down at her with a blank expression.

"I won't." She tossed all her workout gear into her workout bag.

Garfield reached a hand to his hair, ruffling it.

Leah hated how nonchalant he could be. She wanted to stew in peace, in silence, to hide away from the world. Garfield did this whole thing whenever she got like this, not letting her rage in peace. Even in the Year, Garfield worked to keep her out of it. In that time it was a comfort to know a friend like that. Now it was the greatest injustice known to man.

She stood up from the bench, walking to the exit.

"Hey!" Latshaw called out from the mat. He was working with Anthony and Owen. So many reminders of things that Leah didn't want to deal with right now. "Get back here!"

"Fuck off!" Leah shouted back. Why did she do that? Now she felt bad. When she calmed down, she would apologize.

Without looking behind her, Leah left Latshaw's flat.

She heard footsteps behind her. Garfield just wouldn't let her have this space!

"Leave me alone, Garfield!" Leah demanded.

"Make me, Leah." Garfield replied. Leah wanted to grunt and growl- frustration flaring up inside.

She just wanted the world to be quiet so she could be angry. She wanted to rage, to let out her aggression. Training wasn't helping this time. Being around stupid humans rarely helped. Why should it? None of them understood what Leah was going through. They were alien to her, she to them. Her feelings were more complex than their tiny minds could fucking handle.

Being angry with her life was a given. She wanted to be angry sometimes. She was allowed to let it all go, to just feel her feelings.

Garfield walked behind her. Following her, around corners and over crosswalks. He was always just behind. Almost like he was taking care not to walk alongside her. He definitely knew that Leah was going to hit him if he tried.

Leah wanted to hit him anyway. Hit him, hit Latshaw, hit Jack, hit everyone on this damned planet.

She stopped in front of an all night coffee shop. Leah and Garfield hung out at places like this- he was in the human demographic of staying up until 3 for the fuck of it. Leah didn't sleep like humans (she didn't sleep like anything lately, too stressed from Jack and Quill and life). This place felt safe- helpful.

Now it felt like a showdown.

Leah whirled around at him. Her hair flaring out from her workout bun as she turned. Garfield stood there- chilled and relaxed. Like a cobra hiding before a strike. "What do you want from me?"

"I want to know what happened to you." Garfield asked. "Whenever you want to tell me."

You know what? Leah hated that Garfield was understanding like that. "Really? You really want that?"

"Yes."

"You're not just- just waiting for me to- to blow up and forget about it?" Leah snapped. "To get over it?"

Garfield braced himself. He met Leah's hate filled stare. "No. I just want to be here for you."

Leah scoffed, snorting at the joke. The universe was so funny when it chose to be. Especially at her expense. "Sure you do. Sure! There's definitely no other reason! Why would there be?"

"Leah. You're freaking out. Something happened at Torchwood. Do you need to talk about it?" Garfield pressed.

What was there to talk about? An alien invasion happened. They sent agents to invade Earth, to weed out all their weaknesses before striking. Beth killed three people before they stopped her. She tried to kill Gwen too. Torchwood stopped the invasion- a single human heartbeat before failure.

Leah failed. She thought she tricked Beth's alien tech. That she stopped it. She was getting sloppy. It was hard to sleep, picturing Quill coming back or Jack leaving again or the Year...Leah just wanted to get away from all of it.

Every day she lived here...every step she took...Leah wondered what separated her from Beth. There was no alien beneath her skin, sleeping until the invasion. Just her next regeneration. Just something about her- something awful and so unfathomable that her own people were scared of her.

There was something like an alien inside of her. Leah could never reach her. The one interaction between them was blurred and fuzzy. Latshaw was reliable for questions. Leah never liked asking about that day. She remembered seeing her future self for a moment before the world went to hell. Hearing her name echoed by hopeful humans for a whole year.

Leah wanted to scream. She wanted to rage at everyone and everything. She wanted to fight. She wanted to choose what happened to her. Couldn't her life be her own? Why did it belong to the versions of her that didn't exist yet?

How could she possibly explain any of this to Garfield?

"Its nothing." Leah insisted. Was she trying to fool Garfield, or herself? Could she even fool herself like that? She hoped so.

Garfield shook his head. "No. I get that you might not want to share, but I don't like where you're at. Please talk to me?"

It sucked how effective that was. Leah was hurting, she was mature enough to admit that. She didn't want her friend hurting over her. "I'm just- it wasn't a bad day." At Garfield's look she added "It wasn't a really bad day. Just- I was fine. After. For a few hours I was fine."

Garfield sat down on a nearby bench. He offered the space beside him to Leah.

Leah didn't want to sit. If she sat down, she'd calm down. Anger was her motivation right now. Her very reason for being was the simmering anger, separating her from the alien beneath the surface.

Garfield was silent. Just silent. Patiently waiting until Leah spoke again.

"There- there was a murder. Home invasion. The husband was attacked, and the wife didn't have a scratch, and the invaders were stabbed to all hell. So we looked at the wife but she didn't remember a thing-"

She explained the events in a rambled mess. She was certain she left out important details to the overall story. Did she mention that she determined the weapon as alien in origin? Did she mention that she and Owen argued with Gwen about the wife doing it? Leah knew she left out an argument between Chloe and Tosh about what new man Chloe had in her life. It certainly didn't matter to anything happening here.

Garfield just listened, taking it all in. Leah suddenly remembered a night just like this a year ago. Leah and Garfield were eating takeaway in a sewer. Garfield was talking about his parents. A story about how they died back in the Battle of Canary Wharf, of how scared he'd been that he would be next. Leah shared a similar story, what she could remember of it at least. It was bonding, it was enlightening, it made her feel like a person.

Now it was happening again. Only they weren't eating fries as Leah talked.

"Then she died. See? Nothing." Leah finished. Garfield didn't buy that for a second. Leah sighed, leaning back on the bench. She'd sat down at some point in the story. "It's just the whole thing. It reminded me- well it just felt familiar- I'm upset over nothing."

"Doesn't look like nothing." Garfield replied. "Looks like an alien thing. What, think I'm too human to get it?"

"No!" Leah denied. She reached up, pulling up hair out from the ponytail. She tucked the ponytails in her hoodie pockets. "No it's- I mean kinda. I just- there was this- what if I end up like her?"

Garfield eyed her, confused.

"I'm an alien, and one day- one day I'll wake up a completely different person. That person won't care about the same things I do, the same people. She could walk over their dead bodies like they're nothing. Walk over your's like that." Leah explained. "I- I don't know if I can handle that."

Garfield hummed. Not a disgusted hum, or a dismissive one. Just a neutral hum. "Yeah...that would mess somebody up."

Leah sighed, curling against the bench.

"You know you're not gonna be like that, right?" Garfield asked. Leah stared tiredly at him. "No, I mean it. You won't. From what I've earned about Time Lords, they don't change that much."

"Sometimes we change genders. Or species." Leah added.

"Is that common?" Garfield asked.

It was actually really rare. Leah couldn't just tell Garfield that, he would love that argument. "Yeah."

"Bullshit." Garfield countered. "You know what? If she really is that much of a bitch, I'll step in."

Leah paused.

She considered that, earlier in the day. Most everyone around her was a lost cause. They all loved Terra too much. Jack missed her with every waking day. Latshaw would always think of her first, then Leah. Anthony- his own issues were enough. She couldn't burden him further (especially when her future self hurt him in the first place). Garfield though? Maybe...he was the most impartial of everyone in her group. The only one that kept Terra off a pedestal.

"You would?" Leah asked.

"For sure." Garfield promised. He smiled. It made Leah smile too. "If you want."

Leah could see it. Garfield matching up to Terra, giving her a scolding. Getting Terra to be a better person, a person like Leah instead of a- a whatever she was.

She remembered Beth's face. Remembered Beth crying at the thought of hurting her husband, or anyone that she loved. Leah could empathize with that pain. What if Terra did something like that to Leah's family and friends?

Would Garfield really be enough?

"I don't know." Leah admitted. "She- she would be a wild card."

"Pfft, I can handle Harper. I can handle anybody now." Garfield assured her. "Even a Time Lady with an identity crisis."

Leah wanted to believe him.

So she did.

"Thank you."

Garfield tipped his head to her. "So. With you feeling better, wanna get some fries?"

"Yes!" Leah cheered.

The two friends hopped from the bench. Leah rushed into the diner behind them.

Garfield followed behind. His grin stretching wider, curling with a smug smirk.

==ILWAS==

AN: Yeah this took awhile. It's interesting getting Leah's perspective on things, along with her relationship with Garfield. Exploring how this all affects her, it's fun to do. Hopefully more fun next time!

Good luck everybody, with the holidays and with Covid.

Thanks to I am prodigious for favoriting and following this!