Your Beating Heart

When Logan reached the bottom of the stairs, his curious gaze darted automatically to Nathan and Haley's front door. The nerves vanished instantly at the sight of his grandmother shrugging off her jacket. "Nana!" Logan skipped the bottom-most step and charged into Marie's arms.

"The best part of not being around all the time is these hugs," she said, squeezing him hard. "How are you doing, sweetheart? It hasn't even been that long since I was here last."

"Everything's different now," said Logan softly, staying wrapped around her waist all the way down the hall. "I really missed you. Mom and Dad are so stressed out about the babies, it freaks me out. But they're so tiny that complaining about my feelings is wrong."

"It's not wrong at all," she assured him, perching on the couch so he could crawl into her lap. "How you feel always matters, honey. That's why I came now, so that someone can tell you that even if your parents don't have the time right now. I'm sure Aunt Haley must have been doing a pretty good job of that reassurance already." She exchanged a warm smile with Haley, who was watching them nearby. "Thank you for picking me up and letting me stay for a while, Haley. Every time I've talked to Clay recently, he's sounded on the edge of a nervous breakdown. I couldn't stay away any longer."

"Don't mention it, this is the least we could do," said Haley firmly. "Will Lily and Petunia be coming, too? Nathan mentioned that you told him you've been trying to rally Clay's sisters to come visit for this. Lily is lovely, but I can't remember ever really talking to Petunia, come to think of it."

"You wouldn't, I suppose," said Marie ruefully. "I think the last time she came to America was the Thanksgiving after the shooting. Even poor Lily has become convinced that tragedies draw her home from England more often than happy occasions do. The girls need this cause for celebration to change that. Weddings and births are always a better reason to come home than funerals."

"That's for sure," Haley agreed, but Clay's mother still looked sad. "Did something happen between Petunia and her siblings to cause this rift? I recall that even at the wedding a few years ago, things felt strained at times. I can't remember if Petunia was there even then."

"It was lots of little things that added up, I suppose," said Marie thoughtfully. "Petunia struggled with feeling like a disappointment after my husband died. The girls were already both living in England by then and came home for the funeral. Clay was only eighteen at the time and really wrestled with the decision to leave for college at all. It was a difficult time for the whole family, naturally. Things were said back then that created a rift between Petunia and her siblings. By the time Sara died a few years later, I can only guess the shame ran so deep she didn't feel like Clay would want her there anymore. The hardest thing to watch as a mother is your children turning on each other. It broke my heart. To this day, I'm not sure if Clay still holds that grudge or if Petunia just can't face up to not being there when he needed her most. Lily adores her baby brother more than even her twin sister. That really says something, doesn't it?"

"The eldest of my siblings are fraternal twins, their relationship is so telepathic and stereotypical of twins, I can't imagine it any other way. Even at my mother's funeral, Vivian and Jake were like this." Haley crossed her fingers to indicate the deeply entwined bond her oldest brother and sister shared. "Petunia's insecurity sounds a little like my sister Taylor; we should lock them in a room together to battle out their inferiority complexes."

"Wouldn't that be something?" Marie sighed, clutching Logan tighter when he curled his arms around her neck.

"This is the calmest I've seen Logan in days." Haley observed the little boy snuggling his grandmother with a fond smile. "He's had quite an intense couple of months."

"I'd say we all have," Marie replied, trailing her fingers up and down Logan's back. "That's a very long hug, Wolverine. Everything okay?"

"If I were actually Wolverine, the babies would be home already," said Logan sadly. "He has healing powers, you know."

"So do you, kid." Logan looked up and scrambled from Marie's lap at the sight of Clay. "Got any magic hugs to spare?"

"Dad, you're home!" Logan delivered the requested hug, then looked up anxiously. "Is Mom okay? Aunt Haley said I'm not allowed to visit the babies because the hospital has rules. It sucks!" He pulled out two small squares of paper from his pocket and handed them to Clay. "Jamie helped me draw these for the babies. Since I'm not allowed in the hospital, Wolverine and Jean Grey will protect them until they can come home. I wish I could do more, but…"

"These are amazing, kid," said Clay in awe. "See? You were worrying for nothing, the girls already have the greatest big brother ever. They'll come home soon, you'll see."

Before Logan could reply, Haley emerged from the kitchen and shoved a coffee into Clay's hand. "I know your preference for tea is as British as it gets, but I sense a need for caffeine right now. Take this before you go dashing off again."

"Your senses are impeccable. Thanks, Hales. I knew I shouldn't have left you alone with Mom for this long, you're both worriers."

"Takes one to know one. You've been taking such good care of Quinn; don't think I didn't hear about how you almost gave yourself pneumonia a couple of months ago. Idiot!"

"Now who's exaggerating? It was just a cold, silly. I'm fine and the girls are going to be fine, too." Clay turned to his mother after draining his mug. "Ready to meet your granddaughters?"

"Just a minute." Marie turned and gave Haley a tight hug. "This is exactly what I was talking about earlier. Thank you for taking care of my baby."

"Mom, seriously?" Clay rolled his eyes and dragged Marie upright. "Let's go meet some actual babies now."

"Don't mention it, we kind of like him around here," Haley laughed, giving Clay a playful shove. "Go on, and you better send me some pictures when you get there!" She drew Logan close then, and they watched Clay and his mother drive away until the car was out of sight.

"They'll be alright, you know," said Marie softly, breaking the anticipatory silence on the drive to the hospital.

"I know." Clay's fingers twitched with nervous tension on the wheel, and his mother couldn't help feeling like he was still on the verge of exploding with the stress of it all. She took his hand firmly when they reached the hospital, only loosening her grip when they reached the nursery area. "I thought I was supposed to be leading you in?" he joked, but the anxious quiver made the quip fall flat.

"What are mothers for?" said Marie patiently. "I'm sure this place doesn't exactly bring up the best of memories, does it?"

"No, it doesn't," said Clay bitterly. But the anxiety in his eyes gave way to a loving twinkle when he spotted Quinn leaning over a pair of incubators side-by-side. "Over there, come on." Quinn's eyes were just about to droop shut when he reached the chair she had placed between the twins' two incubators. Clay watched her fingers going lax in the babies' reflexive grasps and reluctantly dropped a kiss to the top of her head. "You should be in bed," he scolded half-heartedly when she jerked awake. "How are all my girls doing?"

"You're never going to get tired of saying it like that, are you?" Quinn smiled at him, swiping the grit from her eyes. "Hey, you."

"The girls have their first visitor," said Clay, waving his mother forward. "Are you feeling up to it?"

"Absolutely," said Quinn warmly, beaming at her mother-in-law. "I've been looking forward to this from the minute we decided on her name." Clay's mother stepped closer to the incubator Quinn was indicating. "Marie, meet Marian Taylor Evans." Quinn shifted the oversized newborn hat clear of Marian's tiny head and moved her hand to allow Clay's mother access through the small hole cut-out in the incubator wall.

"Really?" she said in awed disbelief. "I'm honoured." She had barely stepped closer to Marian's incubator when alarm bells sounded over the other baby's head. Quinn extracted her hand as if she had been burned, just as a night nurse came charging over.

"Not to worry," the professional said calmly. "Remembering to breathe can be challenging for babies this small; it's perfectly normal." She adjusted the baby's flow of oxygen and walked away to check on one of the others, unaware of how shell-shocked Quinn looked in her wake.

"Has that happened before?" Clay asked warily, dreading the answer.

"Twice in the hour I've been sitting here," said Quinn faintly. "I tried to sleep after you left, but I was too worried about them. I thought being closer to them would help, but every time that happens, it's like my heart stops, too. She has to survive, Clay. She has to!"

Her voice cracked with pure desperation, and Clay crouched in front of her chair, gripping her shaking hands tightly. "Look at me," he said softly. When Quinn looked up, despite the terror in her eyes, she took his breath away. "She's going to be fine, Q. I promise! She's come too far for anything to go wrong now."

"I really envy that eternal optimism," Quinn sighed, trailing her fingers through his hair when his head pressed into her lap. "I just hate not knowing for sure that she'll be okay. Every time those machines go off, I can't breathe right alongside her."

"Maybe these will help?" Clay suggested, pulling out Logan's two folded-up drawings from his pocket. "Logan made them for the girls. That's Wolverine and Jean Grey; in case you were wondering." He tucked the sketch of Wolverine next to Marian's name plate, but Quinn took the other one from his hand before he could place it with the weaker twin. "What are you doing, you goof?"

"Jean Grey," said Quinn softly. "That's it! Didn't Logan say a superhero name would help the babies be strong?"

"He said it would be cool, there's a difference," Clay reminded her. "What are you thinking?"

"Guardian angels and superheroes," Quinn mused out loud. "Kayla Jean Evans. What do you think of that?" Her lips quivered with pleas to the heavens. "Maybe Sara will do her part to protect my girl if she gets a namesake?"

"I'm not sure that's how it works, sweetheart." But despite the calm statement, Clay's fingers trembled in her grasp. "Are you sure about this? That's insanely generous. Not surprising, knowing your heart, but still."

"I'll do anything to keep my babies safe," Quinn vowed. "If trusting in a higher power helps, then I'm all for angels and superheroes. Are you okay with that?"

"It's beautiful," Clay agreed softly. "Absolutely beautiful. Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"Maybe," Quinn teased, throwing it back to the multiple-choice note before their first date.

"Then I'm definitely not doing my job right." Clay clutched her hands even tighter and crashed his lips against hers, the rhythmic whooshing of the two incubators on either side of them bearing witness to a love that had survived more than either of them cared to dwell on. When he needed to surface for air, Clay glanced left and right at the two tiny babies. "Now our family is perfect," he declared fiercely. "Nothing can take that away, absolutely nothing!"

A sniff in the corner made Clay turn around, and he grinned at his mother, wiping her eyes. "Mom, seriously? We're having a moment here! There's nothing to cry about now, finally."

"Namesakes are entitled to some feelings, don't make me smack you," she retorted. "Cheeky child!" Quinn reached out a hand to her, and she moved around Marian's incubator to embrace her daughter-in-law. "Congratulations, sweetheart. Your parents would be very proud of everything you've overcome. I hope you know that."

"These babies are so lucky they still have you," said Quinn fervently. "And so am I."

"So are we," Clay corrected her, wrapping his arms around them both. "If Logan were here, this would be an almost perfect moment."

"Nope, even better will be when the girls get to come home," Quinn countered. "And they will!"

"Yes, they will," Clay agreed, lifting his gaze after pressing a kiss into his wife's hair. If love could have given the babies the stability and health they needed to thrive, they would have been home already. For now, all that the family could do was be patient and hope for the best.