Chapter 12: Our Beginning

Makoto arrived early, and waited outside the aquarium.

She wasn't usually one to worry about what people around her would think of her, or even if they noticed her at all. But something about clearly waiting for someone made her wonder if anyone walking past could tell what she was waiting for. The aquarium was a popular place for dates, but people wouldn't just assume that, would they?

There was no way to tell. But somehow, today, it felt like everyone was watching.

It didn't help that she'd dressed a little nicer than usual – nothing too fancy, just something to show that today was important to her. But she'd made it a point to wear the short black jacket she'd worn for so much of their road trip across Japan last year. That had been a chaotic time, but it was also a long stretch of good memories, and looking back, she knew how much it meant to her. Maybe it meant even more now, since she knew why Haru had spent so much of that trip up front, riding along with her.

It would have been nice if she could have the same kind of feelings about when Haru drove. But was still doing her best to forget about that.

Makoto remembered what Haru had said last weekend, about how she'd always wanted to be close to her, even if Haru hadn't really know why. Even if neither of them had known why – even if, Makoto admitted to herself, she never would have thought of it. Though she supposed she'd never been much of a romantic. Even the one time she'd lobbed a clue at Ren, he'd either dodged it or completely missed it, she still wasn't sure.

But all it had taken was the subtle suggestion that one time after aikido club, that moment that made her wonder if Haru was interested in her, for Makoto to start wondering if she could feel that way too.

She clasped her hands before herself, then looked around again. Still no Haru. She released her hands, and patted them on her pants, to make sure they weren't sweaty. Was everyone this nervous before a first date? Even when it was someone she'd known for years? That could, of course, make it worse; she'd heard nightmare stories of what could happen when people dated inside their friend group.

This was new to both of them. There was always the chance things could go wrong. But she was determined to do her best to keep that from happening today. Makoto took a deep breath to steady herself, and let out a quiet sigh.

This was just . . . two friends on a date. It was going to be all right.

"Mako-chan!"

Makoto looked up, and broke into a relieved smile as Haru hurried up to her. "Hello, Haru," she said. The other woman was wearing a dark blue dress that Makoto hadn't seen before, along with one of her hats with a wider brim. "It's good to see you."

"You too," Haru said. Her cheeks were already pink. She held out one hand, and said, "This is for you."

Makoto looked at what Haru held, and blushed. "Th-thank you," she said, and took a small yellow lily from her, then tucked the stem through a buttonhole on her jacket.

Maybe, Makoto thought, she was worrying too much. Maybe they were going to be okay. She smiled, and held her hand out toward the aquarium.

"Shall we?"

The two of them walked close together as they headed inside, and a dim coolness washed over Makoto, bringing with it an odd sense of calm. Everything was so . . . blue. She looked around, and saw several halls leading to different exhibits. One hall was much darker than the others, and a sign said it led to a special exhibit of bioluminescent fish. A sudden chill ran down her spine, ruining the place's calming effect, and Makoto turned to Haru.

"Where do you want to go first?"

"It's been a while since I was here, so I'm not sure what's the same," Haru said. "Shall we go by the coral reef first?"

Makoto nodded, and they headed in.

The sense of calmness returned once they were farther inside, and Makoto lost herself for a moment in the quiet ambience of the place, watching all kinds of fish go by against reefs and kelp and who knew what else, with Haru at her side.

"I remember learning about this when I was young," Makoto said, watching some tiny bright-colored fish swim through anemones' tentacles. "It feels like forever ago, but I wanted to go swimming with fish like that."

"Please don't jump in," Haru said, then smiled when Makoto looked at her.

"Haru, I'm not going to do that," Makoto said, her voice flat.

It took Makoto some time to realize it, but it wasn't just the place that helped her feel so calm. It was just . . . being with Haru. Somehow, now that they were here, together, on a date, all the wondering and considering and analyzing and reconsidering she'd done over the past few weeks didn't seem to matter so much. Knowing that Haru did have feelings for her must be a large part of that, she thought. Something as confusing as what she'd been through . . . trying to figure herself out hadn't been easy. Knowing that Haru felt the same way, and knowing it had worked out in the best way, helped a lot.

But more than anything, it was just the two of them, spending time together. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they just looked in silence, sometimes they pulled away from a tank all of a sudden when an octopus tried to attack them through the glass. But the longer they spent together, the more Makoto felt herself relax, like this was the most natural thing in the world.

For both of them.

Some time later, they had circled through all the exhibits and made their way back to the front of the aquarium, and Haru started leading them toward the darkened hall. Makoto fought to keep herself from pulling away. Did they really have to go down that one?

"Ooh, I want to see these," Haru said, then paused when Makoto didn't keep up with her. She looked back, and frowned. "Mako-chan?"

"I'm . . . not sure about that one," Makoto said, and looked away. It seemed ridiculous, to be afraid of dark places like that, but she didn't want to ruin the date over it. She could make it through, couldn't she?

"Oh, that's right," Haru said, walking up next to her. "Ren told me about what happened, back when you all were trying to get Futaba to show herself."

"He didn't have to tell you that," Makoto muttered, still looking away.

Then, Makoto felt Haru's hand clasp her own. "I'd really like to see it," she said. "I'll hold your hand if you're afraid. But we don't have go if you don't want to."

Makoto looked down at their hands. Maybe it was a little silly to be happy about that. But at least she hadn't missed holding hands this time. And maybe she'd be able to get through the darkness, if Haru was there with her. "I think I'll be okay," she said. "Just don't let go, all right?"

"I won't until you tell me to," Haru said, sounding very serious.

Slowly, they walked into the darkened hallway. Dim blue lights along the floor showed a path that curved to the right, and Makoto squeezed Haru's hand. It really was way too dark in here. They could have at least left some of the ceiling lights on, or–

The two of them turned a corner, and found themselves in a room full of glowing circles and spots and stripes.

More small lights outlined the tanks on the floor, but other than that, the room was only lit by the glowing fish. Bright blue and yellow-green shined from inside the tanks, flitting back and forth in the water, and Makoto's eyes opened wide. Some part of her still wanted to run away, but there was something strangely beautiful about it all.

They stopped by one of the tanks, and as the glowing fish swam by, Makoto caught Haru's face in their light, just barely enough to see the reflection in her eyes. She looked absolutely fascinated, her eyes wide, a wonder on her face that Makoto had never seen before.

And that, Makoto thought, was worth the trip through the dark.

Makoto did start to cling to her more as they moved around the room. As much as she liked seeing Haru's fascination with the glowing fish, the longer she was in here, the more she felt the darkness closing in. By the time they made their way out of the room, she was almost clinging to the other woman's side.

Though Haru didn't seem to mind at all. And there was something about being so close to her that felt really good. Just . . . they would have to do that under very, very different circumstances the next time.

"I would have guided you out of there if you'd wanted to close your eyes, Mako-chan," Haru said as they headed out, a little bit of a tease in her voice.

Makoto sighed. "That wouldn't have been necessary," she said, and Haru giggled. "What's next?"

"Ooh, they have a touch tank!" Haru dragged her toward a low tank with a reef inside it, with dozens of fish and some small manta rays and–

Makoto blinked. That starfish didn't have a giant eye on its back. She'd only imagined it. All the same, some of the creatures in the touch tank reminded her too much of shadows. She touched a few of them, then did her best to enjoy Haru's enthusiasm about the whole thing.

It was late afternoon, almost evening, when they returned to the dorm. Haru walked her back to her room, and they stopped outside her door, in a way that reminded Makoto very much of what had happened last week. It was amazing how much could change in only a few days, or a few weeks.

Haru stood facing her, and took both of Makoto's hands in her own. She looked up at her, smiling, her cheeks quite red. "I had a very good time today, Makoto," she said, and gave her hands a squeeze. "And I'd like to do this again."

"So it's over?" Makoto asked, the words out before she could think about them. The day had gone on for so long and yet, now it felt like they'd hardly had any time together. "I . . . I know how this sounds, but I don't want it to end so soon."

Why was her heart suddenly so restless? It wasn't like she'd have to wait for long to see Haru again. They lived a minute or two away from each other. But they were both here right now. Did it really have to–

Haru leaned forward, and put one hand on Makoto's cheek. Makoto felt herself blush fiercely. Was Haru going to kiss her? Her heart started pounding. She didn't know if she wanted that yet. She did. Did she?

But Haru only whispered, "Then we'll do this again sometime, won't we?"

"Yes," Makoto whispered.

Haru lowered her hand, fingertips trailing down Makoto's cheek, and smiled. "See you soon, Mako-chan," she said, and walked away.

Haru returned to her dorm room, closed the door, then turned and leaned against it and wrapped her arms around herself. Her heart felt like it was going to burst. She laughed, then wiped at her eyes. What a lovely day. What a lovely, wonderful day.

And it wouldn't be the last, she was sure of that . . . it felt like things had gone well, at least. Neither of them had any of the awkward moments she'd been dreading, and she'd been able to hold Makoto's hand for a long while, and . . . and she just wanted to be back with her, already, even if they'd only been apart for a few minutes.

That might be too much, though. It had taken them both so long to finally come to terms with what they were feeling, and to understand this was something they both wanted. There was no need to rush things.

Haru took a deep breath, and tried to clear her head. There was still so much she had to do. And it was a few hours before she had to go to bed. She could still get some work done.

She sat at her desk and tried to study, and every picture blurred until it became a fish, every sentence she read twisted around until it was something Makoto had said or something that reminded Haru of her, every thing she tried to think about slowly turned into ideas for their next date. How was she supposed to get anything done like this? If she had to be losing focus, at least it was for a good reason, but she had things to do–

Her phone buzzed.

Haru blinked at it. There was a message from Makoto. She picked her phone up so quickly she nearly dropped it, and looked at the screen.

MAKOTO: I miss you.

Haru's heart thudded hard in her chest. She wrapped both hands around her phone, and texted back very carefully, so she wouldn't drop it.

HARU: I've been trying to study, and I can't. I'm just thinking about you and everything we did today. What am I supposed to do?

It sounded . . . a little sad, she thought once she'd sent it. But she had to be honest about her feelings. And Makoto had started this.

Her phone buzzed again.

MAKOTO: I know how this must sound, but: can we have our second date now?

MAKOTO: Please?

Haru let out a laugh filled with relief and clutched her phone to her chest like some kind of love letter. This was . . . the best thing she could have heard right now. Did she have work to do? Yes. Did it matter as much as this?

No. No, it did not.

HARU: Would you like me to come over?

MAKOTO: If that's all right with you, yes, I would.

HARU: I can be at your room in . . . give me about twenty minutes. There's something I want to do first.

Nearly half an hour later, Haru knocked on Makoto's door. When Makoto answered the door, she'd changed into more causal clothes, which was just fine; Haru had done the same before going out again. Haru held up a pink and white box, and smiled.

"Good evening, Mako-chan. May I come in?"

"Please, come in," Makoto said, and stepped back as Haru stepped inside. "What's in the box?"

"These are from one of my favorite bakeries around here," Haru said, and handed the box to Makoto. "They only had a few cupcakes, this late in the day, but I wanted to take you there on our second date. I . . . I think this will be just as good."

Makoto set the box on her desk, then turned around and pulled Haru into a sudden, tight hug. Haru gasped, her heart speeding up all at once as Makoto held her close. She put her arms around Makoto without a second thought, and Makoto let out a soft noise that just made Haru want to hold her even closer.

Oh. Oh, she'd wanted to do this all day.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you," Makoto murmured, her voice near Haru's ear. "I've never had to deal with this before. I don't know what to do."

Haru moved her hands up Makoto's back, trying to pull her in a little more. "I know I fall too hard, too fast," she confessed. "But I couldn't stop thinking about you either. I . . . I've wanted to do this for so long, even if I didn't know it."

Makoto pulled back just a bit, and Haru resisted the urge to pull her back in, not wanting the embrace to end. The look Makoto gave her was serious, which was nothing new, but there was an emotion in her eyes Haru had never seen before. Haru stroked her cheek again, and Makoto leaned into her touch, then reached up and ran her hand over Haru's hair, gently tangling her fingers in Haru's curls. A shiver went all through Haru, and she let out a long sigh.

"But if we're going to be like this," Haru said, slowly smiling, "I think the wait has all been worth it."

"You really think so?" Makoto asked. "I'm – I'm not used to doubting myself. Especially not after everything we've been through. But this is so new to me. I just spent weeks with no way to know how you felt, and now I'm just – feeling-"

Haru put a finger to Makoto's lips. "I think I know a way to be sure," she whispered. "Can I kiss you?"

Makoto's eyes widened, and Haru swore she could feel the other girl's heartbeat, as close as they were to each other. But Makoto whispered, "Yes."

Haru returned her hand to Makoto's cheek, and slowly leaned in, and felt Makoto lean down toward her, and when their lips met, a spark raced through her like nothing else she'd ever felt. Their kiss was gentle, and all too brief, but something in Haru told her not to push too hard.

This might be the first time for both of them.

When Haru slowly pulled away, she caught Makoto's gaze and held it, watching as other girl's eyes opened like she was waking up from a long dream. Makoto looked dizzy, her face fully red, and then she took hold of both Haru's cheeks and kissed her again, harder this time. Haru kissed her back with everything she had, years of feelings she'd never truly known all coming out at once, and she heard a soft moan come from Makoto's throat before they both were forced to break the kiss and catch their breath.

Haru watched Makoto recover, wondering if she looked as dazed as Makoto did. "Mako-chan?" she whispered, her voice wavering.

Makoto's smile was sweet, and knowing, with all her doubt gone, the confidence Haru knew so well returned to her face. "I think we're going to be just fine," she said, and pulled Haru close again.