(POV: Arkaid-First)

Blinded by the light, I stiffened my body. Such a surprising, unknown force had reached me, overtaking me in an instant. No matter how much I tightened my eyes shut, the pure essence of the light was all I could see. I yearned for the darkness; let me go. Let me fall into darkness and truly release myself from feeling the consequences of my failure. Selfishness took over; how could I possibly burden my inability to protect the one who meant the most to me? I didn't want to live if it meant having to remember such an ordeal. My pleas for the darkness weren't heard, yet I suddenly felt my body lighten.

Something compelled me to move. There was another presence near me, and the remains of my instincts prompted me to discover the source of such power. Upon recognizing it, I realized that it was only a fraction of the deity's true power. Finally, I opened my eyes. My arms and legs were felt once again. My eyes gazed at the grand being before me as I hastily bowed to her. It was necessary for me to adhere to someone such as her, for she is, to this day, a deity that deserves nothing but utmost respect. "Lady Dynamis. You have summoned me." My bow went deeper; the value of such a deity transcended normal thought. For one to say that even my deepest bow was not worthy of the deity's presence was an understatement. However, it was all I could muster. With my will broken, I hoped that she would understand my vulnerable position.

The grand deity looked to me, bowing her heads slightly in return. "Miss Arkaid, it is a pleasure to assist the Sapience of the Fifth Omni Lord."

"I thank you for the kindest of words. If I may, I can no longer see myself as worthy of such a title." How could I see myself as the intelligence of Lord Tenbu's will when I'm in such a terrible circumstance? It was true that, besides my master, I was the only mage working within the Cavalry until recently… However, that means that my intelligence was something of importance. After everything that has happened, my intelligence has been nothing but a hindrance that goes against the emotional yearnings of my comrades. However, such a statement implies that I truly possessed some kind of intelligence. Besides my countless hours of reading and studying under Lord Tenbu, I truly did not see myself as intelligent. My only true value was being of use to others, and I had failed horribly.

"Your mentality was what triggered this meeting," Dynamis returned in a calm tone. "I have spoken to three of your comrades so far, each one possessing a mental roadblock of sorts that ends up restricting their ability to move forward. Each time, I have helped them achieve a form of enlightenment."

"Then please, I beseech you," I returned in a weakening tone. "Lady Dynamis, help me discover this power. I must procure it to assist my allies."

"I'm afraid that you must do so on your own." My mind broke into pieces upon hearing those words. Because of Lady Dynamis's repertoire, as well as how much I looked up to her, I was able to hold my broken mind together, albeit barely. However, what she essentially has done to me was tap at a vase poorly glued back together, breaking it with ease. She must have felt my demeanor falter, for she continued to speak in a clarifying manner. "The little bit of me that resides within you can only help guide you to the power you seek. I am not truly here; you are speaking to the small fragments of my power that once rested within your Lord. However, this meeting will not go unremembered, and I hope I'll be able to succeed in helping you."

"… With how little I can truly do," I muttered weakly in return. "… I must at least know how precisely this process is supposed to go. What do you expect of me?"

"After everything you have gone through, you have reached your lowest point." The great deity lowered herself to me. Why was she being so close to me? It didn't make sense to me; I didn't imagine her as someone that would actively seek the chance at comforting others in such an informal way. "When we are at our lowest point, we look within ourselves to find the answers that may resolve whatever ill situation we may experience. At this point, you make contact with your subconscious, which is where my sliver of power resides. In reality, you know the answers yourself, but they are locked away in your subconscious. I am merely able to be your guide to understanding yourself and what you want."

"Thank you for taking the time to help me understand," I returned with another bow. "However, you mention helping three others? Wasn't the power within me?"

"I am a deity whose power resides in areas spread out across the cosmos," Dynamis explained. "I can feel the sliver of power given to the others take shape. That's when I know they have changed. The Drum that you knew is such an example; surpassing his weaker self and achieving power in the next stage. However, he went through a different approach in reaching his inner strength. He is purely a warrior; it is in his nature. It is important to understand that my sliver of power is a part of you, the same as the others, and thus is shaped by how you think, what your desires may be. With Doble and Meglax, I was more upfront, matching their more combative styles of life. With Mizaru, with him being a born leader, approached him in a manner that would remind him of his reason to lead. As for you…."

"… You feel how alone I am."

"Not only that, but I feel how much you wish to be so, but also not so," Dynamis returned. "You are a mature one, and a Cavalry Dragon I admire due to how you broke the mold. You persevered through each obstacle before you, and you have met someone that you care incredibly about."

"… I don't have time for this," I muttered anxiously. "Please, I need to find this power! If I can't, then-"

"This is happening within your mind," Dynamis returned. "To the outside world, no time has passed. You have enough time to think, but our meeting is only truly over if you give up on yourself completely."

"My sincerest apologies, Lady Dynamis, but I had already done that." My somber voice became dull and emotionless as my verbal battle with her continued. She saw something in me, but I wished to deny such a mere fantasy. It made no sense to me as to how anyone could see me obtain any value.

"You're thinking too much in the moment," the deity proposed. "I am a part of you now. I know what you are thinking." Taken aback, I took a step back as an embarrassed gasp left my snout. "What I wish you would do is see yourself for who you are. You are different from the others, yet you possess something they do not, and what you have is incredibly valuable; knowledge, the vast knowledge that none of the barbarians outside have."

"If you're telling me that you can't directly help, then why are you reasoning with me?"

"These are things you already understand, Miss Arkaid," Dynamis returned softly. "Your issues lie with your inability to see your value. You are a dragon who values logical reasoning, yet your emotions and your self-doubt hide your ability to truly accept yourself as valuable."

"I'm not valuable," my dull voice echoed. "I'm sure Lord Tenbu can find another magician."

"… I understand how much you want CJ to be here right now."

"Please…," I jerked. "Don't bring him into this. He's done nothing wrong."

"The only wrong thing he's done is go against your demands," Dynamis mused. "You demanded him to leave you behind. You pleaded for him to go off on his own. Voiceless, unable to move, you truly felt utterly hopeless." I turned away, unable to look at her anymore. My hands grasped against my arms as I pulled myself inward, hoping to forget it all. "You enjoyed being of use to him as your buddy. I can imagine the way he treated you may also make you think about him as more of a friend than just someone you work alongside with. Perhaps you may see yourself in a situation where there's something more."

"I told you not to bring this matter up…."

"Of course. Why wouldn't I want to bring up your feelings?" Dynamis continued.

"I said stop it!" Treating this deity with my regality was no longer a concern. She was treading somewhere that no one should dare to enter. "My weakness doesn't concern him at all. I hold him dearly in my heart; I even admitted to him just that. But I fail to see how that has anything to do with my limits!"

"It goes both ways, you know," Dynamis inched closer. I could feel her breath flowing over my shoulders. I wanted nothing else but for her to leave me alone, yet she wouldn't leave. Keeping my arms crossed and back turned, I refused to acknowledge the deity. "You care for him, so you certainly wish to be of use to him. On many occasions, you have stated your position to him; you would fight alongside him, you would protect him, you would give your own life for him."

"I've heard enough!"

"But you fear when he does the same," the deity roared back. "This doesn't even limit to him; you fear your comrades doing the same as well, but you only felt this fear the most when he got involved. You were never in a situation with the others where he consistently put himself in danger for you, taking that power, and carrying you across a land that embodies death incarnate!" Nothing within me urged me to keep going back to her. I wanted her to stop. I wanted her voice to stop. I just wanted to be left alone. "You can't imagine dealing with the despair of someone dying for you. You dread such a thought. You dread the possibility of someone, anyone, fighting for you."

"… I should have never met anyone," I finally voiced. My body curled up, slowly collapsing back onto the white void that was the ground beneath me. "If I never met them, I wouldn't have to feel so hurt at them possibly being…."

"Gone." Dynamis sighed. She was beginning to feel the depressing end of the defeat. She looked at Arkaid one last time, seeing her in such a miserable position. "I can only say so much. I wish I was capable of helping you further, but only you can truly bring out this power. Only you can truly save yourself from this pit of nothingness." Even the subconscious was giving in to my horrid emotions. To hell with them; to hell with everything. I just want to fall with my comrades already. I didn't have this inner strength; Dynamis was wrong about me.

I'm not important.

I couldn't possibly be important to anyone.

I shouldn't be.

Why should anyone die for me?

My purpose is to protect others.

Why should they die for me?

For that to be so, I have failed them.

…

Within the dark depths of what was left of me, a fuzzy picture started to become present in my mind. I couldn't make out the person's face, and his voice was distorted beyond any form of repair. Everything about the image was off. It was a blur trying to recall this image. I grew tense, infuriated that it became such a struggle to just make out this one image. The man's voice slowly became much clearer, so clear to the point that I didn't even need to question his name. I know who he is.

"I wouldn't be here if you weren't important to me."

Why would he say that?

"Well, you're all I care about!"

Why should he have to harm himself for me?

"You're perfect!"

I'm not perfect.

CJ, you know that more than anyone. You know how little I am when it comes to reaching that level of perfection. Despite my constant yearning for knowledge, I am unable to truly see myself as anything more than a barely-competent member of the Cavalry.

"You're important to me."

I don't want to be the reason why you go out of your way for me. I don't want any of the Cavalry members to be fighting for my sake. The others are all fighting and I cannot, yet you wear the same face and say that it's okay.

"For now, let me help you. After everything you've done for me, it's the least I can do."

…

… I cannot be dishonest with myself; when I can only see myself as useless, when I can only see myself as important when I'm being of use to others, hearing someone say they want to help me relieves my burdens. I hate it at the same time; I dislike having the others pain themselves for me, for that means that they are in pain for the sake of alleviating my own. Every time I protect you, CJ, I do it because I care about you. When I fight and protect, it is because I'd rather see myself hurt than the others.

But…

I know that I have to expect things in return. I may never grow accustomed to such a fact; I will forever fear the possibility of someone dying for my sake. I will forever worry about others who try to take whatever pain they can for me.

But that is what gives my protection meaning. If the roles were reversed, I'd know you would do the same. I know because, no matter what, no pain is worse than losing someone else that you dearly love.

The white realm returned to me. I found myself on my feet, staring back at the grand dragon before me. With a heavy heart, I take the knowledge I have and bear it across my chest. It weighs me down, but it is a truth that I cannot deny. "No matter what, I can never accept that others will get hurt to protect me," I slowly mourned. A familiar warmth crossed my hand. It was comforting… to feel his touch once again. "But… it is something that I need to at least know and acknowledge; the fear of losing someone I dearly care for will haunt me, but I cannot be alone. I can't keep myself alone."

Dynamis slowly nodded back to me. Her weary eyes reflected my emotions. "… Breaking the mental barrier may not feel like a victory," the elder dragon returned with a long, heavy sigh. "You acknowledge and know a bitter truth that will haunt you and your allies, as well as the individuals you hold dear. You may come and respect others that come across your path, and they may experience consequences out of their respect for you. You still decide to carry on, knowing this?"

"… Not all knowledge is kind and warm." My exhausted soul became tight, grasping my heart. "Many times, knowledge can be scary. It can be frightening. It may haunt me to know something that others may not. But such fears come with the thirst for knowledge. Knowing that others are willing to stand beside me no matter what…." I held my right hand close to my chest. "Then I'll keep moving forward. Whatever cruel knowledge may await me, I will still keep going for the sake of the ones I hold dear!"

"Such is the fate of the Sapience of the Fifth Omni," Dynamis finally managed a smile, staring back at me with illuminating eyes. Such godly sights awakened something inside of me. Everything felt tense for but a moment. It wasn't long before I felt my mana swell, invigorating my very soul. A long, familiar object materialized by my left. It was time for me to go. I grasped the object as everything around me began to shift. "Madam of knowledge, magician of the Fifth Omni Cavalry. May you protect all you hold dear, and accept the burdens of the truth! I am honored to see thee revived anew. Go Forth! Fifth Omni Super Cavalry Dragon, Sandstorm Staff Arkaid!"