The Name of the Saarebas

by normanny

I am a human, a mage, a Saarebas, a qunari. But above everything else, I am Reneka Hawke. When my leash finally broke, I managed to escape after years of imprisonment. However, I had no idea that my path was taking me to the people who I had yearned to meet again. People who would teach me to use my mind to protect, not to destroy. (Romance in future, but it's not the main focus.)

4. Chapter 4 - From Hightown to Darktown

Special thanks to the readers and Bioware!

Isabela had been right. We arrived at a small village full of farmers not too long after leaving the ocean behind us. I had hoped that we had ended up on Ferelden soil, but my luck was still against me and we had found ourselves in the Free Marches. One of the farmers told us that we were close to a city called Kirkwall. The name made me frown in suspicion, but I couldn't figure out why it sounded so ominous to me. My grumbling stomach reminded me that I should be more worried about re-energizing myself.

Obviously, Isabela did all the talking and managed to get us some food supplies for the journey from a generous family. We had nothing valuable to pay them with and I got my first important lesson that there was a lot of good in the world after breaking free of the shackles of a Saarebas. We were offered a roof above our heads for the night, but Isabela kindly refused and later said to me that we still needed medical help for our wounds, something we couldn't get from such a tiny settlement.

Hours passed as we walked towards east like the farmer had instructed us. According to him, we would hit the main road before midnight and after that it was impossible to miss the city. Chewing the last piece of my bread, I glanced around and got slightly concerned of how exposed we were, with no woods or buildings to give us cover. I always expected trouble and tried my best to follow Isabela's example of casually taking a step after step, without flexing my muscles and jumping at every sound.

The sun was setting and it was getting dark when we indeed reached a wide road. I stopped Isabela for a moment to write on the ground if she needed to rest, but she just laughed and asked me the same question. I was exhausted and my magic was slowly returning but I didn't fancy losing my whole arm for an infection. Shaking my head, I nodded her to keep going and gave a fragile smile to assure her that I would be fine.

#

"By Andraste's eyelashes, talk about sinister and unwelcoming," Isabela said with a silent whistle when we stood at the gates of Kirkwall.

Her description was exactly what I saw. Two massive golden statues guarded the gate with long spears in their hands and an intimidating look on their immobile faces. The doors were still open although stars had filled the sky and the clamor of the city had vanished completely. When I glanced around, I saw groups of commoners being escorted by soldiers and assumed that the gate was to be closed after everyone had been taken inside. We had arrived just in time and evaded spending the night outside at the mercy of the cold wind.

I covered my arm to my best ability to avoid raising any unnecessary suspicions. The wound kept stinging and it was wet, but at least Isabela seemed to be alright. She had pulled the bandana on her forehead again after she had washed it and her hair back at the village.

More statues greeted us as we walked forward and I started to regret entering the city. They were figures of starved slaves, crying of agony and hiding their faces behind their palms. Seeing more of them reminded me why the name of Kirkwall had stirred me earlier and my shock of realization increased when two heavily armored men approached us, a flaming sword branded on their cuircasses. I remembered the answer a Saarebas had given me when I had inquired about the Free Marches before we traveled to Orlais.

A city of slaves and slavers, now occupied by the templars. No different than being leashed by an Arvaarad in a qunari tribe.

"Evening, handsome," Isabela tilted her head and shot a grin at one of the templars who had shoulder-length hair. "I don't suppose you could point us to the inn?"

"More refugees?" the taller knight next to his comrade sighed. "Why aren't you with the rest of the group? We don't make exceptions with you Fereldans. Everyone needs to wait at the courtyard."

"Aw, don't be like that," Isabela purred and swung her hips as she walked closer. "I have a friend here whose sister is waiting for her at the local tavern and promised to help her. Unlike me, she has never been outside Ferelden, you see."

"Forgive my rudeness, but you two don't seem like the kind to hang around in Hightown," the man snorted. "I believe you are looking for the Hanged Man, not the place we have for the Orlesian nobles here."

"Yes, that was the name!" Isabela clicked her fingers. "Wouldn't it be great if we were out of your mind as soon as possible, hm?"

The long-haired templar scratched his head and grunted. "Fine, fine. You can get to the Lowtown through the market. Just be on your way."

Isabela had a smug smile on her lips and she took my hand to lead me towards our next destination. I glanced at the templars over my shoulder and heard them mumbling how relieved they were that we chose to go to 'that place festered by rats' rather than demand proper accommodations.

Either we managed to slip through every guard patrol on night duty, or we had been ignored, labeled as some street beggars who deserved no attention. My guess however was that Isabela knew exactly where the darkest shadows were located and kept us hidden like mice until we reached an area that clearly divided the the city between the poor and rich. I saw no more grand statues and the buildings became simpler. By the point we had arrived at another gate, the houses were more like shacks and a disgusting smell of alcohol and rotten meat lingered in the air, forcing its way into my nostrils.

All the merchants were at their homes, preparing for a new day of profitable business and I was glad that every human and elf we encountered bared us no mind, clearly more concerned of keeping themselves warm under the pieces of cloth that could barely be called blankets. I couldn't even remember the last time I had slept on a bed, although to me the couch in Isabela's cabin had felt like lying on a cloud.

The pirate captain halted and peeked behind the corner of stairs that led to a tall building with lots of widows and light shimmering through them. At the front was a huge object that looked like a man hung from his ankles. The noises coming from the inside were so loud that I could hear pints being clattered together in a toast.

"I bet this is it," Isabela smiled victoriously and turned to look at me. "Listen, you wait here while I go and investigate. There's bound to be a healer in a large city like this or a doctor at least."

I blinked a couple of times before slowly nodding my head.

Isabela took my hands in hers and gave me a serious leer. "I still owe you for saving my life, so promise me that you'll be a good girl and stay here. I hate unpaid debts."

I couldn't tell if Isabela was worried because of me or her. She wasn't selfish, but the only people I could compare her to were qunari and in my mind everyone was better than a qunari.

To set her at ease, I drew a circle on the soft ground, big enough for me to fit in while standing on my feet. Beside the circle, I wrote my name and added an arrow that pointed at me once I stepped in the space meant for me.

Isabela's eyes shifted from me to the drawing and she started to laugh. When she attempted to quiet herself, it sounded more hilarious and she let out a loud giggle. Only then she fell silent, but kept smirking and breathing hard.

"You are so funny, even without words," Isabela said and pinched my cheek. "Okay, I'm off now. See you soon."

I waved to her when she still took a glimpse of me from the door of the inn before stepping inside. The wound on my arm insisted on alerting me about how much time I had before the whole limb would have to come off. Whistling sounds came from the inn as soon as Isabela had entered and when I imagined of the mess that the captain would be ready to cause to tease the drunken men, it made me sneer and forget about the pain.

#

I waited for about a hour, not moving from the circle I had drawn. The noises had calmed down and fortunately no-one had exited the inn and seen me standing still like an easy prey. That didn't mean that I was safe as the sky grew blacker with clouds of rain conquering it. Even without the full amount of my magic, I could sense if there was a murderous presence nearby which saved me from being ambushed.

I listened closely and could detect footsteps. Four, maybe five strangers lurked in the shadows and weren't most likely aware that I knew about them. I had no purse to be cut nor a belt to carry such a thing, but I got the feeling that the humans or elves near me weren't just common thieves. If I still had red lyrium in my system, it would certainly warn me of the smell of blood.

Isabela had asked me not to move, but I wasn't stupid. Although the city was unfamiliar to me, I could try and lose the thieves and then return to the inn with information about the incident. As long as Isabela didn't find me missing and go search for me while I distracted the murderers, everything would be fine.

When I heard a blade being drawn from its sheath, my legs ordered me to run. I didn't have Isabela's skills of stealth, but during the first years as a qunari prisoner I had become quite good at spotting hiding places. There hadn't been no acceptable ones at the entrance to the so-called Lowtown, so I passed the inn and aimed to get behind it.

My instincts had been right and I didn't have to turn around in order to see a hooded person chasing after me. It was a female and she was shouting commands to her followers. It gave me some time to gather distance between us. I found some stairs near a district that had to be the slums but after I had ran down them, I cursed when I came to an open area. My only choice was to keep dashing forward, but then one of the thieves appeared in front of me, his daggers bared and pointed at the enemy.

I refused to die at the hands of some petty criminals. My hope was that they were afraid of mages and wouldn't pursue me if they knew who I truly was. Before the man could strike, I whisked with my uninjured arm and created a shockwave strong enough to push him few meters away and knocking him prone. I gave the others no time to react and repeated the simple spell, targeting the ones behind me.

While they recovered from the attack, I didn't stay to witness if I had made an impact. There were long stairs next to me, leading further away from the inn and deeper into the city, but it had been the apparent sewer passage at the bottom of the stairs that caught my eye. I rushed to it and didn't think twice. The lid came off easily and I didn't bother to put it back but jumped down, concentrating my regained mana below my body to make my fall a bit softer.

I was surprised that there wasn't dirty water waiting for me when I hit the ground. It was also a miracle that I hadn't fallen on a stone or something even more deadly. Magic had slowed the drop, but my ribs still didn't feel comfortable after taking such a hit in them. Despite the bruises, I was happy that my wounded arm didn't suffer any more damage.

I couldn't hear anything above, which made me presume that the thieves weren't going to follow me all the way down to the sewers. The fact that they had been after me in the first place was enough for me to stay alert and continue to find a place to hide until the situation was over.

There were carved hollow spaces on the wall along the path, but provided no cover. At the moment, I wasn't worried of how far I would walk from the inn and focused on ensuring that I was alive for couple of hours more. I saw some more sewer entrances that could be reached by climbing the ladders, but dared not to go and take a glimpse of where I would end up at.

When I squeezed my wound too hard, it started to bleed again and I had to lean against the wall to fight against the pain. I kept my eyes closed tightly but when I opened them once again, I realized that the wall my forehead was touching was actually a concealed door. It blended in so perfectly that one had to be ridiculously observant to notice it. It didn't have a handle, just a small pressure plate at the top corner.

I glanced around and pushed the plate carefully, expecting to find a storage, bones or something else that someone wished to keep hidden. Instead, when the door slid open, there was a narrow path forward. I trifled with the thought of finding someone's home or a treasure room and decided to find out more about the discovery, thinking that maybe I would stumble upon a gift for Isabela.

I had to walk sideways to clear the pathway and was surprised that it was an underground area like a small room where I had come into. As I moved further in, I saw another door, this time with a handle and clear signs that someone had been there. A pile of blankets in one corner had been spread and probably used as a mattress to sleep on and there were empty sacks scattered around. I found also a bucket full of cold water and traces of food such as remains of apples and chicken bones.

In fact, the whole place looked like a better home than what I had ever had at the tribe. It was relatively warm and there were no critters or rats, although I discovered couple of holes where their nests could have been.

A very blithe giggle behind the door spooked me and I hurried to take position right next to it, ready to take the initiative if I was threatened. The voice that spoke after belonged to a man and the handle rattled as it was being turned. I crouched a little when the door concealed me and glared at a pair of elves who entered. The female one rose on her toes to nibble on the man's long ear and when she released him and took a step back, I charged from the darkness and grabbed the man, pressing him against me with my injured arm. While the elves were stunned, I stretched out my other hand that was surrounded in swirling blue and red energy and showed it at the woman who had been frozen with fear.

"Alright, alright, okay let's calm down, shall we?" the man's trembling hands rose in surrender. "No need for violence my dear. You have me, surely you could show mercy and let the lady go?"

The elf's words made me wince, but I couldn't lose my grip until I was certain that I wasn't going to be stabbed in the back. It hadn't been my intention to use anger to empower my magic like I had been told to do as a Saarebas. My Arvaarad had taunted me with things I hated and desired to get me excited and call forth more power to tear the enemies in pieces.

Too many times had I looked into the eyes of a begging person, asking for mercy. Too many times had I blown up the head of such a person in fear for my own life if I disobeyed.

My body was almost at its limit. Now that I was free, I had to face all the horrors I had been forced to do and take responsibility for them. No longer could I hide behind the excuse of 'the qunari made me do it'. From now own, my decisions were my own and if I chose to abuse others to preserve my freedom, I might as well have worn a collar again.

I gestured the woman to leave and she retreated very slowly. The elf I was holding assured her and I heard her running after she had closed the door behind her. I was embarrassed and felt like a fool.

"Not that I don't appreciate such proximity," the man coughed, "but you are bleeding, my dear."

I let go of the elf and gave one frustrated glance at my arm. My spell was canceled and I was like a greasy rag full of holes that had just understood how useless it was to try and wipe the table with do many faults.

"Name's Jethann, by the way," the elf bowed. "It's always nice to know the identity of the people who might be the last ones you'll interact with."

I looked at his face for the first time and my eyes widened from wonder and admiration. Jethann had the bluest irises I had ever seen. It was as if the ocean itself had been caged inside and the color was so deep that I could see my reflection. My moment of depression was washed away and I felt oddly relaxed when staring into his eyes. My gaze explored the elf's face and his blond hair with a tint of carrot red. The man reminded me of Isabela because of his beauty and there was the same kind of witty feeling about him.

Jethann folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. "I'm quite used to such attention, but somehow you make me nervous," he chuckled and stroke his cheek. "Is there something on my face? Please Maker tell me there isn't."

I snickered and couldn't help how similar the elf was to Isabela.

"You could enter this conversation by telling me your name at least," Jethann said.

There was nothing to write on, so I made a simple gesture of shaking my hand across my throat.

"Oh, you're mute?" Jethann asked and I nodded in reponse. "Well that's a pity indeed. I'm sure a pretty lady like yourself would have a lovely voice. There could be some spell that might help you learn how to speak you know. The things mages can do nowadays."

Except that I don't have a chance to begin with, I wanted to tell him and remained silent.

"Well, if you don't know such a spell, then perhaps you should at least heal that wound," Jethann pointed at my arm. "It seems to be infected, weeping like that and all."

We had changed the bandage at the village because I wanted to give Isabela her blue waist scarf back, but the cloth was now wet and part of the cut peeped from underneath. I glanced at the elf and tried to come up with a way to explain that I didn't have the right magic to do the job.

"Or would you like me to take you to a healer?" Jethann suggested. "He doesn't charge you anything and is quite good. I had a wound almost that bad treated by him and it didn't even leave a scar."

Finding a healer had been our goal, but I had been away for too long already. The thieves had to be gone by now and Isabela must have started looking for me. I hoped that she wouldn't leave Lowtown and nervously kept eying at the path to the secret entrance.

Jethann seemed to note how my gaze wandered and sighed. "You're not seriously considering going back through the sewers? Surely the templars have received the news."

I looked at him, my lips parting in confusion.

"Oh come on, miss. If the lady you scared away haven't reported you in yet, someone believing her story has. You can't show yourself in the crowded districts, not until the dust settles."

I clenched my teeth, furious at myself. Not only the elven woman, but the thieves too had seen my abilities and would certainly wish to claim a reward for an escaped mage. It had been ages since I had been called an apostate, but the meaning of that title wasn't something a mage would forget, like I hadn't forgot about what the title of a Saarebas held within. I carried the scar from that for the rest of my life.

Such careless mistakes could have been easily avoided, but I had been hasty and wanted results fast. The patience of humans was just one more lesson for me to learn again and I ought to be glad that I hadn't killed anyone. I gathered my thoughts and reasoned that after my wound was healed, I could try and send a message to Isabela to tell her not to worry. No qunari was there to stop my letters anymore, so I believed that the world wasn't going to end just because we had parted so abruptly. The city wasn't going anywhere like the tribe had moved quite often.

Jethann watched me for a while and rubbed his neck. Then he walked to the door and smiled at me. "Lucky for you, there is another way to reach Darktown and it's full of people like you. Outcast mages, commoners who have been falsely accused of crimes, orphans and so on."

I glared at the elf and he got my message.

"I'm sorry, my lady," Jethann quickly said. "Of course I'm not categorizing you. I just wish to help, that's all."

The corner of my mouth rose in a cunning smirk and I dropped the issue. I held my hand in front of Jethann who inspected it for a few seconds before guessing that he should offer me his. I gently turned his hand to see his palm and wrote the word 'thanks' on it.

"Most intriguing way to communicate, miss," Jethann laughed and led the way.

#

The underground hideout was larger than I could have imagined. There were tunnels and passages to every direction possible and at the crossroads there was always an area with humans and elves who were resting on blankets, eating fruits and bread or warming themselves at a small fire. Their faces screamed of despair and they were divided between those who were optimistic of the future and those who had curled up in a corner, sobbing quietly.

I wished to help them. I pitied anyone who was as mistreated as I had been. Maybe Isabela would understand if I stayed for a while after meeting with the healer. She had shown me that it only took a kind heart to aid people. There was no money in my pockets and I couldn't sneak outside to steal food if what Jethann had told me was true.

Suddenly, my hand flew to my pocket and squeezed it. A knot in my stomach untangled when I could feel the lyrium shards. I started to think that maybe lady luck was gradually siding with me. It was as good explanation as any, although the realist in me said that the pocket had been sealed when the rain of the storm had glued the trousers against my legs.

One of my theories about red lyrium was that it had a will of its own and if it wished to stay with me, then so it did, whether I wanted it or not.

Jethann made sure that no-one stopped us when we met even more people. His charismatic smile was enough to dodge every question and just like Isabela, he kept us close to the walls.

We came to a well and stairs that ran to the top. The distance was greater than my fall to the sewers, but Jethann promised to catch me if I slipped and swore not to look up like a gentleman. I hadn't stopped him to inquire about Darktown, but when we finally reached it, I realized the scenery provided me all the answers. It had been clearly used as a mine, with old entrances still visible although they had been blocked with carts and dirt. The whole place would have been totally dark were it not for the lanterns and oil lamps, scattered here and there. The ground was soft and it stained my toes, making me think that perhaps I should have changed my sandals to a pair of boots.

However, it was a relief that I saw no guards or templar knights. The people were dressed simply like I was and the area was ideal for blending in.

Jethann shut the lid to the underground passage and patted dust off his clothes. "You see those lights over there?" he put his hand on my shoulder and pointed at a wooden door not too far away from us. "That's were the clinic is. Don't be shy, just step in and show him your arm, he'll do the rest. The healer is awake as long as those lanterns are lit."

My face was again mirrored in the elf's sapphire eyes and I saw myself grinning like a little girl. I performed a small curtsey and was about to head to the healer when Jethann yanked the sleeve of my shirt.

"The only thing I ask in return is that you won't tell a soul about me," he said politely. "You see, I am already employed and my employer wouldn't like me running business of my own. But it's more money and there are quite many who require the...service I can provide but can't come to the streets."

I had suspected that Jethann was a prostitute, but the fact hadn't made me think any less of him. He was so pretty and was more worried of his appearance than anything else, both physical and social. It was a characteristic I had witnessed in some of the elves and humans of the cities my tribe had traveled to in the past. They had picked the most perfect locations to attract customers and the underground did seem like such a place. I saw no weapons on him, but had noticed a tiny vial in one of the pouches he was carrying. Poison and prostitutes wasn't an uncommon combination.

I put my index against my thumb and moved them across my mouth, like zipping it shut.

"Thank you, dear lady," Jethann bowed. "Now, I must go before my real shift starts. Should you find yourself in the underground again, come and visit." He paused and added, "Not necessarily as a customer, pardon my manners. As a friend more like."

I nodded and waved to him before we went separate ways. Since my escape, I hadn't met many people but I was happy that Isabela and Jethann had been among the first ones. They both had an aura of certainty and safety, mixed with a healthy amount of danger.

Although it was past midnight, several people were up, sitting anywhere where the ground was dry and gnawing on the remains of a yesterday's meal. Some were gathered in a fishy groups, whispering and obviously scheming something. I hurried my steps and swiftly cleared the stairs to the clinic. Rarely had I found myself afraid of humans, but that was going to change quite radically with the new rules of the daily life.

There were two doors on a wooden wall that had been erected to separate the clinic from the district. I couldn't hear anything inside and started to worry that the healer had left and had forgotten about the lights. My only option was to try knocking, but as I proceeded to put my plan in motion, the door was opened with such a speed that I had no time to evade. I got hit and as I fell down, my reflexes ordered my arms to protect the head and touched the ground first. The wound shrieked louder than I did, but I cried out nevertheless and grabbed the injured arm, holding it close to my chest.

"I'm sorry!" the man who had slammed the door on my face dropped on his knees beside me and gently touched my shoulder. "I had no idea that someone was... Oh dear Maker, did I do that?"

His horrified eyes were fixed on my arm and I quickly corrected him, my head shaking from left to right as I gave a negative groan.

"Good thing that you bumped against my door before I left," the healer said and I accepted his offer to help me stand. "Come on, let me take a look at that."

I hesitated for a moment, probably because of how eager the stranger was to help me. My hand covered the wound and my eyes fluttered.

"No need to be concerned," the man said in a low warm voice. "I'm Anders. I can sense that we are the same and would never hurt you."

I was aware that my magic was strong enough for mages to sense, but back at the tribe the other Saarebas' had always kept a comfortable distance away from me, afraid of my power. To meet another mage who didn't frown or gasp after figuring out who I was was extraordinary, an experience I wouldn't forget.

Although I felt something odd about the healer called Anders, there was no dangerous smell like Isabela and Jethann both had. He radiated of security, despite of a secret burden I could see in his bright eyes.

Above all else, he was the first mage I had made acquaintance with who wasn't leashed by the qunari and I couldn't wait to know more about him.