Lily
"What are you doing for the holidays?" Marlene asked as she stirred her potion, brow furrowed in concentration.
"I'm going home," Lily replied, closing her Potions book with a sigh. "I want to see if I can patch things up with Tuney."
Marlene gave her a sympathetic glance but didn't press. Instead, she turned back to her potion.
"No, Marlene—you have to stir counterclockwise every seventh turn," Lily said, frowning. She took the stirrer from her and demonstrated.
"But the instructions said—" Marlene started, but her voice faltered as the potion turned the correct shade of light purple. "How did you know that?"
"Instinct, I suppose," Lily said quickly.
The real reason sat in the back corner of the room, blending in with the shadows. She risked a glance back and met his steady, unreadable gaze. Her heart panged. But anger rose like bile through the cracks of missing him. Mudblood, she reminded herself.
"I'm staying with the Potters for Christmas," Marlene said casually. When Lily only nodded, Marlene smacked her lightly with a grin.
"Merlin! You didn't say a single word about James being a big-headed, egotistical, conceited, pretentious wanker!?"
"Stop yelling, Marls. If you want, I'll go insult him right now," Lily said dryly, adding a sprig of mint to her potion. "And did you look up 'arrogant' in a thesaurus or something?"
"Perhaps I just possess a voluminous vocabulary," Marlene replied. "Anyway, don't think we all haven't noticed."
"Noticed what?"
"You and James, of course. Getting along." Marlene wiggled her eyebrows. "The whole start of the year, but especially since those bloody Slytherins, you've been... nice to him. Eager even."
"Eager is crazy," she laughed, "But he jumped in front of a curse for me. He's changed a lot since last year. Or maybe I just never saw the good that was already there."
"Oh, you're so in love with him," Marlene smirked.
"I am not in love with James Potter. We're friends, and that's all."
"Keep telling yourself that," Marlene sang.
"I will," Lily replied, more stubborn than she intended. But she didn't regret it, James was only a few desks away and there were gossiping ears everywhere. She got enough slack about James as it was. "Anyway, Sirius lives with the Potters now, doesn't he?"
"All the better," Marlene said with a wink.
"You're as bad as Sirius!" Lily laughed. She gave the potion one final stir before calling Slughorn over.
"Oho! Gorgeous work, Miss Evans. You've the hands of a natural potioneer," Professor Slughorn beamed. "And you've done better than usual, Miss McKinnon—very good—very good indeed!"
As the class packed up, Lily lingered. "Sir? I haven't heard anything about your Christmas party?"
Slughorn's smile faltered. "Ah... yes. Dumbledore thinks the party might pose a risk this year... with the circumstances."
"But it's Hogwarts," Lily said, confused. "There's no safer place."
"Yes, of course. It's the visitors he worries about," Slughorn said with a heavy sigh. "Some of my old students… I fear they may have gone down darker paths. It's impossible to tell."
Regret flickered in his eyes.
"I understand," Lily said, her voice soft.
"Do enjoy your holiday, dear," he added, forcing a smile.
"Thanks, sir."
She hurried out, not wanting to be the last one back to the common room—only to nearly jump out of her skin when she saw a tall, messy-haired boy waiting just outside.
"Oh God, you scared me!" she gasped, clutching her chest.
"Sorry, love," James said playfully, though his smile dropped when he saw the fear in her eyes. "Didn't mean to frighten you."
"I'm fine," she said, starting to walk. He fell into step beside her.
"You sure?"
"Yeah just reminded me of…" she trailed off. Avery jumping out at her, Regulus on his tail, the curses that flew, the silence. It all came in flashes.
"I just wanted to make sure nothing—well—nothing happened like the other day," he said, running a hand through his hair.
Suddenly she was annoyed.
"How many times do I have to tell you? I don't need you to play the hero."
"I'm not playing anything!" he protested, surprised. "What's wrong with a little chivalry?"
"It's sexist, that's what!" Lily snapped. "And, in case you forgot, you're the one who got cursed. I had it under control."
"I know, I know! You're top of our class, for Merlin's sake" James replied, his voice rising. "But I'm not the one being targeted. If I can do something to help, why wouldn't I? Especially something as simple as waiting a minute after class."
Lily clenched her jaw. She felt like everything today had been pressing down on her—Marlene's teasing, Remus bailing on studying, a lingering cold, James. It all boiled over now.
"I hate this," she said suddenly.
"What?"
"I hate you being right. I hate being scared all the time. I hate being looked down on—for what I am—and that my friends are too. I hate this world I love being so messed up. And I hate you, James Potter."
Her voice broke, hot tears slipping past her defenses. James's hand came up, wiping one away gently.
"Nah, you don't," he said softly. "We're friends now. Friends look out for each other."
"You're right," she whispered.
"That's the second time you've said that today. I think that's a record."
"Oh, shut up, Potter," she said, but the smile broke through anyway.
He slung an arm around her shoulder. "Now I know you're feeling better."
Lily shook her head with a smile. He had a way of making her laugh, even when she didn't want to. She used to resist it—used to resist him. But things had changed. James was still James, but somehow it was easier to like him than hate him.
"So," James said as they reached the Common Room, "what are you doing for the holidays?"
"Heading home to Cokesworth. It's what I usually do," Lily said, "I hear you're letting Marlene stay with you."
"Yeah, with all she's been through, it's the least we can do. I'm sure you know she's hurting more than she lets on," he said, his tone soft. "Our parents were good friends. We're distant cousins or something—don't ask me to trace it. Family trees are such a mess, but we've grown up with each other is what I mean. Balls, parties, society social mush. Really though, you never know if you're snogging your third cousin or not."
"Lovely," Lily laughed, "Luckily I don't have that problem."
He snorted.
"That's really nice of you though. She could use the two of you to cheer her up."
"And you too," he said.
"Huh?"
"Well," James said, "you're invited too. Remus and Peter are coming. My parents are hosting the Prewetts' New Year's party this year, even if you can only make it to that. "
"You never mentioned that."
"I'm almost positive that I did, but I'm mentioning it now. Will you come?"
"I'll see if I can. It depends on how things go with Petunia. I need to spend as much time with her as I can. We haven't had a good relationship since I was nine. Two weeks to seven missed years is a blip."
It worried her–Tuney and herself. She had sent Tuney a letter, but nothing returned. Tuney was at Uni now, but Lily had instructed her parents to forward the letter if they could. Lily's parents were a bit absent-minded when it came to things like that, but it meant so much.
"Alright," James said, handing her a little bag. "I understand, but it would mean the world to me if you could come. Here's some Floo Powder if you decide to come. Just say 'Potter Manor.'"
"Thanks, James," Lily said. She turned to go, desperately being behind on packing, she missed the way he looked after her with quiet wonder.
"C'mon. We better grab our trunks before the train heads back to Hogwarts," Sirius said as they stepped off, the last to leave the train.
"I wouldn't mind if you were sent back, Paddy."
"You wound me!" Sirius gasped, clutching his chest in mock pain.
Lily stepped onto Platform 9¾, and as always, the place took her breath away. It was her first true link to the magical world—the threshold where she first felt like she belonged. She scanned the crowd: First Years ran excitedly to their wide-eyed parents, practically bursting to tell them all about charms and Quidditch and goblins. Older students grinned from ear to ear, their minds already on returning.
And then she saw them—her family.
Her tall, slender sister stood stiffly, arms crossed, blond hair tucked behind one ear. There was the faintest ghost of a smile on her face. This place was infectious. Behind her, their parents: Rose and Frederick Evans. Her mother beamed, and her father's eyes were filled with the same quiet awe Lily had felt her first time here.
Lily waved and hurried forward, just as James pulled her trunk from the pile.
"Is that your family?" he asked, nodding toward them.
"Yeah, that's them."
"I suppose I'll go say hello," James said with a grin.
"What? No, no, you will not," Lily hissed, grabbing his sleeve.
"Why not? We're friends."
"Yeah, and that's exactly why they'll assume you're my boyfriend. Again! Have you forgotten third year?"
"I only introduced myself. I don't see what's so wrong with that."
"You introduced yourself as my boyfriend! They wouldn't shut up about you all summer."
"Did they now?" James asked, clearly entertained. "What'd they say?"
"They were under the impression you'd be good for me."
"No doubt," James said. Lily rolled her eyes—just in time to see her family approaching.
"Mum! Dad! Tuney!" she called, breaking into a run. Her mother hugged her tightly, and she could feel her sister go rigid beside her. Petunia pulled away quickly, looking vaguely disgusted. The sting of it settled deep in Lily's chest.
"Oh, Lily, we've missed you," her mother said warmly.
When they pulled apart, Lily noticed her father's eyes drifting behind her—to James.
She'd forgotten he was still standing there.
"Are you going to introduce us?" her mum asked, cheeks pinkening as she looked at James.
"Oh—right," Lily started, but James was already stepping forward, his large, calloused hand extended.
"James Potter. I'm a friend of Lily's," he said, voice smooth and confident.
"You look familiar. Have we met before?" her father asked, cautiously.
"We have, actually," James said, finding Lily's eyes and barely holding back a grin. "Back in third year."
Her mother's eyes lit up with recognition. "You're the one who introduced himself as Lily's boyfriend."
James grinned sheepishly. "Might've had a bit of a crush on her back then."
"Understatement," Lily muttered under her breath. Her parents exchanged a glance. "Anyway, we should get going," Lily rounded out, trying to escape the awkwardness.
She turned to say goodbye, but James surprised her by pulling her into a long, warm hug.
For a moment, she lost herself in it—his scent was unexpectedly comforting. She buried her face in his shoulder, forgetting herself.
"Come to my party," James whispered in her ear.
"Alright," Lily replied softly, barely above a breath.
She patted his back and stepped away, turning to her family. All three of them were staring—with expressions she didn't know how to read. She blushed and started pulling her trunk, waving over her shoulder.
James was still standing there, stunned, grinning.
And Lily knew her own face wore the same silly smile.
"So, Tuney," Lily said lightly over breakfast. The car ride back yesterday had been awkward, but not hostile, "how did that date go back in September?"
"Oh. Quite well, actually. He's my boyfriend now."
"Oh? What's his name?"
"Vernon Dursley," Petunia replied stiffly, though Lily noticed how she lifted her chin a little higher.
"Where'd you meet him?"
"Last summer at my internship. He's very high up at work. An important man."
Lily smiled, trying to ward off any snarkiness.
"That's nice. When do I get to meet him?"
"I believe he and Marge are coming over for Christmas dinner," Petunia said, "I don't know if you have plans or not?"
Plans on Christmas?, she thought.
"Who's Marge?"
"His sister. She's a nasty woman though," Petunia muttered. "She's always setting her dogs onto me. Plus she can't control her tongue."
"I'm sure she'll come around," Lily offered.
"You might be."
"Where does he work again?" she tried to redirect.
"Grunnings Drill Factory."
"Right, right. Do you still like it there?"
"No. I decided there were more suitable careers for a woman of my status," Petunia said, raising her chin again. Lily took that to mean she'd been fired.
There was an uncomfortable pause. Their conversation was polite—but cold. Formal in a way that felt wrong. It was better than screaming matches, maybe. But at least Lily had gotten comfortable in that.
"I just wanted to talk before I head back to school. Make sure we're… okay," Lily said, voice uncertain. She saw her sister's face soften—then harden again.
"Look. you're my sister and we'll always be sisters. I'll always love you. But we're part of different worlds and our worlds don't belong together. You'll graduate magic school and marry that magic boy and have magic kids. That just can't fit into my life," Petunia said, trying to soften the blow. "I'm sorry if… if the wizards don't accept you. But you're not one of us anymore either. Not all the way."
Lily stared at her. The words landed like a knife. "That's a horrible thing to say. I thought you understood."
"Lliy, my life is here and yours isn't. I love Vernon. He's my life now. Eventually I'll have to tell him about your… situation. And he won't want me to associate with people like you. Maybe if you turned away from it all, from that school and those people that hate you. Maybe then—"
"Just say it," Lily snapped. "Say I'm a freak. You've never hesitated before. Say you wish you never knew me. Just say it, and I'll leave."
"I don't hate you," Petunia said quietly.
"I've brushed off every awful thing you've ever said. But this? This hurts more than all of it. I hoped we could be okay, that I could come home to one stable thing. But you just proved we never will be. You want me to fit into some watered down, store-bought version of myself," she shouted, "I'm a witch. I'll never not be a witch."
Petunia was crying now, but Lily didn't feel sorry for her.
"I'll go. You've made it clear I'm not wanted here."
She turned. Petunia looked like she wanted to say something—but didn't. All her things were still packed from the night before. Her parents were out of the house. She'd write them as soon as she could. If she thought about it too long, she wouldn't make the leap. She just had to go.
Lily didn't look back.
"Potter Manor," she said loudly and clearly. She didn't want to mess it up. The ashy substance swirled around her, floating into her lungs as she stepped into the fire.
Lily had pictured James' home to be just that—a house. What she found instead was a mansion. It stretched absurdly long, and judging by the countless windows, it had at least three floors. Breathtaking gardens and grand architecture filled the massive property. Archways, exposed timber beams, flagstones, and statues of magical creatures lined the grounds. For a moment, she forgot all her problems, drinking it all in.
There was a sparkling pool, a pristine Quidditch Pitch, fountains, a small lake—more than Lily had ever dreamed of. For a fleeting second, she considered leaving. She could never fit in here. She didn't want to intrude. But it was too late—she was already inside James Potter's home.
"Hello," said an older woman entering the room. "How can I help you, dear?"
"I—I'm a friend of James'," Lily managed, trying to steady herself. The woman smiled and beckoned her to follow. Her black hair was streaked with gray and pulled into a tight bun. She reminded Lily of Professor McGonagall, but even more relaxed.
"You wouldn't happen to be Lily, would you?" the woman asked knowingly. Lily nodded.
"Oh, I've heard so much about you. I'm glad someone's able to keep James in check," the woman chuckled warmly. She led Lily to the grand entry hall, where twin staircases curved up on either side. Banners and portraits lined the walls, and the ceiling soared above them, a balcony on the second floor overlooking it all.
"I try my best," Lily said with a small, sad smile.
"I'm James' mum, by the way. I'll get him to bring your trunk to one of the guest rooms."
"Thank you, Mrs. Potter. But I just wanted to see him, Sirius, and Marlene. I can find somewhere else to stay," Lily stammered.
"Nonsense. We've got plenty of rooms collecting dust. And you can call me Euphemia," James' mother insisted with a kind smile. Then she called upstairs, "JAMES, YOUR FRIEND IS HERE!"
"COMING!" came James' familiar voice. Heavy footsteps thundered from above as he rushed down. His messy black hair, his sharp jawline—her breath caught at the sight of him. She hadn't realized how much she missed seeing him every day.
"Lily?" James said, eyes flicking over her face. "What's wrong?"
Euphemia took that as a cue to leave. He bounded over and Lily couldn't keep it in any longer.
"My sister," Lily choked. "I tried to talk to her but she hates who I am. I can't stay anymore. I told you what she thinks of wizards—and nothing's changed. Except now she's got a walrus-shaped fiancé named Vernon Dursley."
James chuckled at that and pulled her into a hug. It was long, warm, and safe. She could've stayed there forever—until Marlene and Sirius burst down the stairs.
"Oi, it's Red," Sirius called.
"Lily!" Marlene squealed, running over.
Lily offered her best friend a weak smile.
"What happened?"
"Tuney. She gave me hope that we'd be okay... but when I came home, she squashed it alright."
"Oh, Lils." Marlene hugged her tightly.
"I'm sorry for barging in like this," Lily said, turning to James. "I can go. The Leaky Cauldron should have rooms—"
"Don't be silly. You're staying here. Right, James?" Marlene said.
"'Course," James agreed. "Anything you need."
Lily felt overwhelmed. The Potters had taken Sirius in when he fled his family. Then Marlene, after her mother died. Now Lily too.
"C'mon, we'll show you your room," Marlene said, grabbing Lily's hand and tugging her upstairs. James and Sirius trailed behind, carrying her trunk without magic.
"This place is huge!" Lily whispered. The hallway was filled with enchanted portraits. One showed James scoring on his broomstick. He winked at the viewer.
"Yeah. A lot of ancient bloodlines have estates like this. James is richer than he lets on at school," Marlene said.
"Who knew he could be so modest?" Lily giggled.
"You know he's a good guy, Lils."
Lily usually deflected comments like that.
"Yeah. Yeah, he is."
Marlene gave her a knowing smile.
"This one's your room. Mine's right next door."
"D'you want to talk about your sister?" Marlene asked gently.
"Not yet. Just—tell me about you. How has it been here?"
Marlene nodded. "It's been wonderful. The Potters are amazing. We've been playing Quidditch, Exploding Snap, Wizard's Chess. Just... fun. My dad needed time for himself after Mum died. So did I. He said that all he can see when he looks at me is her."
"You do look like her. She was beautiful," Lily said, hugging her. "I'm glad you've been happy here."
"It helps having Sirius here too. He's a good distraction."
"Are you two going to date? Like, officially?"
"I don't think that's his style."
"But is it something you want?"
Marlene twirled a lock of hair. "I dunno. Neither of us have really dated like that before."
"You'd be good together. And there's a first time for everything."
"Yeah. Maybe." They sat in silence for a while, each lost in thought.
JamesJames Potter was nervous. Lily Evans—Lily freaking Evans—was staying at his house. She could've gone anywhere, but she came here. Maybe it was for Marlene more than him, but still. She came here!
He just wanted everything to be perfect. For her to feel safe. He sort of wished his house wasn't so over the top, but she seemed to be enthralled by the history and architecture. He knew quite a bit about it and her constant questions made it easy for her to get along with his parents. They adored her.
He tugged at his tie in the mirror and groaned. His hair was a mess. His dress robes had a firewhiskey stain—thanks, Sirius.
"Oi, mate, you're a mess," Sirius said, barging in, looking effortlessly put together in grey dress robes.
"I know," James muttered, still wrestling with his reflection.
"Ironic, isn't it?" Sirius said. "Your dad made Sleekeazy's, and it doesn't even work on your own hair."
"Yeah, hilarious."
"Never said it was funny, just ironic. What's got you in a piss?"
James sighed. "Just nervous."
Sirius was right, there was no use. His father's famous hair potion didn't work on him. It just made it look greasier and worse than before.
"Why? We're going to be the fittest blokes here! Plus, you're the host—you get first pick."
James didn't laugh. He hesitated.
"Lily?" Sirius asked. James nodded.
"Mate... it's about time you moved on. When was your last proper snog?"
"Before school started. That muggle girl—Julia."
"You what? She wouldn't even let me flirt with her!"
James smirked. "Guess that settles the competition then."
"Says the bloke who hasn't kissed anyone in months. You need this more than I thought."
James rolled his eyes. "I haven't tried, okay? Want to make a bet?"
"I'm listening."
"First to get a snog buys the other sweets from the Trolley Lady on the train," James looked at Sirius closely, "But it can't be Marlene."
"But me and Marlene-" Sirius protested.
"Aren't official and are in it just for a shag," James finished, "Don't pretend like you don't see other people on the side."
"Yeah but still..."
"You meant it when you said you fancied her, didn't you? All those months ago." James said in a quiet realization.
"Yeah."
"Then why aren't you dating? Why keep it casual?"
"It's complicated. I tried, then we didn't talk for months," Sirius took a deep breath. "It finally feels normal again. I don't want to screw it up."
"Doesn't sound complicated to me. Padfoot, you can't blame her for not speaking to you. After she heard rumours about you cheating she found out her mother died. She's hurting. She needs more than a shag, she needs you, mate," James told him. "Forget about the bet. Tell her how you feel tonight."
"You think so?"
He nodded. "Best case, you get exactly what you want. Worst case, you know how each other feels and you can both move on."
Sirius nodded, deep in thought.
"Lovely," James said pleased, "Now I need to rid my robes of the firewhiskey you split all over me."
"That was a good night," Sirius laughed, "Besides, your a wizard aren't you? Scourgify!" Pink bubbles began scrubbing the dress robes, removing the stain.
"Thanks, now get out so I can change," James scolded.
"Gladly," Sirius said before going out the door.
The ballroom was transformed, grand and glowing with magic. James barely had time to take it in before Lily stepped through the doors.
She wore a deep purple. Light shimmered off her like she was part of the magic itself. Her face looked untouched by makeup—not that it mattered. She looked... perfect.
He hadn't realized he was staring until Lily found his eyes. Her smile grew from the pure amazement she had when she entered the room too. She walked over to him with a slight blush on her cheeks. Somehow it made her even prettier. James snapped out of it and walked over to her too.
"Hey," James said, stunned.
"Hey," she echoed, voice soft.
"You look really pretty, y'know." Not pretty. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Perfect.
"Thanks. You look handsome yourself," she said with a shy smile.
He tried not to melt. "What do you think of all this?"
"It's... breathtaking."
"Doesn't hold a candle to Muggle parties, yeah?" he teased.
"Muggle parties involve terrible music, drunk boys, and usually a visit from the police. The alcohol's a lot stronger too."
"Do you go to them?"
"Not really. Not my scene. Drunk men have always made me uncomfortable, honestly."
"Guess I won't be drinking tonight," he said lightly.
"Oh, I meant Muggle boys. Wizards I can hex."
She gave her wand a warning swish and a wink.
James grinned. "Good because I like my firewhiskey."
He pulled her gently by the hand. "Let's get drinks. Too bad they aren't as strong as your moonshine."
"You'll have to come to one of those parties someday. Otherwise you'll just never shut up about it," she teased.
"Kissing is also an effective way to shut me up," James grinned.
"Is it?" Lily said airily, perusing the drinks.
His heart pounded. He could only hope she didn't see how nervous she made him. She leaned closer until there were only centimeters between them.
"Then I'll just have to let Melissa Bones know," she whispered before walking away.
"You did that on purpose!" he called.
"Not sure what you mean," she replied innocently.
"You– Evans!" But she was gone. James collapsed into the nearest chair, dazed.
"Alright, Prongs?" Peter asked.
"Yeah. Brilliant, actually."
"Lily?"
James nodded. Peter seemed calmer than usual.
"You two are meant to be," Peter said.
"How d'you figure?"
"Gut feeling," Peter shrugged. "Patterson predicted it in Divination anyhow."
"You actually believe that? Divination, I mean?"
"Yeah, I do." He sat up straight and James was proud of him. And for once, James had nothing to argue. If Peter was steadfast, he'd let him have that, even if James thought it all was rubbish.
"Don't you remember what he said the first day?" Peter asked, his voice suddenly confident—a rare sound for him. "He said:
'Eyes of emerald and fire;
A difficult love will transpire.
Brave of heart,
Born in the wake of death;
Souls never will part,
Together until the final breath.
A single goal unite them forever;
Protect the fawn's endeavor.'
James remembered that day vividly. At the time, he hadn't thought much of it—just more nonsense Patterson spewed every class. But Peter was staring at him now, wide-eyed, waiting for the moment James would understand.
"Don't you see?" Peter said, incredulously. "'Eyes of emerald and fire.' Lily's got green eyes, and yours are... something, I guess. 'Brave of heart'—you're both Gryffindors. And obviously your love's gonna be difficult, seeing as she's hated you up 'til now. And isn't it weird that he used the word fawn? As in baby deer. As in stag. And two years later, you find out your Animagus form is a stag. That's your spirit animal."
"But that could be anyone, Pete. And I'm sure Patterson was just making it up as he went," James replied. But even as he said it, he wasn't fully convinced. He'd been chasing after Lily since fifth year—he wasn't about to get his hopes up now.
"It's obvious though, innit? You can't give up on her, Prongs. Protect the fawn," Peter said earnestly.
James sighed. "Alright, I won't give up on her. I wouldn't even if we hadn't talked about it. But right now, we're just friends. I'm not ruining that over something Patterson vaguely muttered three years ago."
"Cool," Peter grinned. James was surprised to see his usually mousy friend look so hopeful. As Peter disappeared into the crowd, James shook his head and made his way toward the drinks table. He never managed to get a drink when he was with Lily. He spotted Remus standing alone.
"Hey, Moony," James said, grabbing a bottle of Blishen's Firewhisky—a favorite of his from the Hog's Head.
"Hey," Remus said glumly.
"What's that you're drinking?" James asked, peering into his glass.
"Chocolate liqueur," Remus answered, taking a swig. "Pretty good."
"Always thought you were more of an elderflower wine kind of guy."
"You're thinking of Peter," Remus smirked before finishing his drink. "I need mine strong."
"Something wrong, mate?" James asked.
"Nah. Just... enjoying myself," Remus said bitterly. James followed his gaze to a girl across the room—Lily's dormmate, Emmeline Vance. Not a close friend, but friendly enough.
"Go talk to her," James nudged.
"I can't, and you know why," Remus muttered.
"C'mon, you've got like a week until—"
"Five days. Not counting today," Remus grunted. The wolf was close under the surface tonight. And alcohol was no help to his friend's temperment.
"Just talk to her. As a friend. You don't have to date her, just stop sulking in the corner."
"That's the problem. I want to date her. Or somebody at least. I want to find love or at least the chance at it. But I can't. It's too dangerous," Remus said, eyes clouded.
"Moony, go talk to her. She keeps looking your way," James said. Emmeline blushed as she glanced over.
"She's looking at you. Everyone looks at you," Remus muttered resentfully.
"Tell me how you really feel," James chuckled. But Remus wasn't laughing. "Go. Or I will."
"Seriously?" Remus said, incredulous.
"Course not. It's Rule Six: Always be a good wingman."
Remus exhaled, lips twitching into the faintest smile. "Fine. But don't try to set us up."
"I won't. I solemnly swear," James said, deadpan. "Now go."
"I'm going. But you better find Lily. It's almost midnight."
James checked his watch and cursed. Remus was right. He scanned the crowd, searching for that dark purple dress. He spotted Sirius with a very excited (and probably very drunk) Marlene, then finally—Lily.
Only she was wrapped in someone else's arms.
They swayed quietly on the dance floor, intimate and tender. James couldn't see the guy's face, but he didn't need to. The rage bubbled beneath his skin. He knew this feeling—jealousy, frustration, helplessness. He didn't want to shove it down this time. He needed to feel it.
He caught the eye of Melissa Bones. Blonde hair, soft brown eyes. She looked nothing like Lily. She wanted him, she had made it no secret, and that was enough.
"Ready for the New Year?" James whispered in her ear.
She turned, batting long lashes. "Almost."
"Yeah? What else do you need?"
"Someone to kiss me," Melissa whispered.
James leaned in, cupping her face with calloused hands. He kissed her, first soft, but then roughly, letting the bitterness pour into the moment. She moaned into his mouth, nails digging into his back. Her breath tasted like firewhisky and longing. He tasted the same. When they finally parted, she gasped for breath. He stared into her eyes. The eyes of a pretty girl, a nice girl, a smart girl, but a girl who wasn't Lily Evans.
"We can continue that in a moment," James murmured in her ear, running his hand down her spine. She squirmed at his touch.
"I'm counting on more then just that," Melissa said.
Sparks exploded in the air above them. The countdown had begun. The last minute of 1976.
James searched the crowd again. He needed to see her. He had to see her. And there she was—watching him.
Their eyes locked for a moment too long. Her expression twisted into something James couldn't read. Then she dropped her gaze but James didn't. He was too far gone.
"TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN..." the crowd shouted.
Melissa slipped her hand into his. He didn't pull away. He had to move on from Lily Evans. He had to. But he knew the truth: if she ever looked his way, really looked his way and gave him a chance, he'd drop everything. She was his weakness.
"SIX, FIVE, FOUR, THREE..."
James glanced across the room again.
Lily was staring at Edgar Bones—Melissa's older brother. Her ex. They shared a look. And then she took his hand and pulled him toward the corridor.
James' stomach dropped.
That corridor led to her room. In his house.
"TWO, ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
The room erupted in cheer. Melissa tugged James' tie and kissed him again, hot and desperate. He kissed her back, but his heart wasn't in it.
When they broke apart, she was breathless.
Across the room, so was Lily.
James watched her blush and disappear with Edgar.
"C'mon, Mel. Let's get out of here," James said, grabbing her hand.
He didn't stay to watch the fireworks.
Not tonight. Definitely not tonight.