Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
~Lily~ It Should've Been Impossible
Today was her last day aboard the cruise and she had mixed feelings about leaving. Obviously she was excited to go back to school in a few days and see her friends, but she'd miss the boat too. She'd miss Gregor, her new friend from Bulgaria. He was incredibly sweet and the only reason Lily was staying sane on the cruise. Without him there, she'd be stuck with her family for her only company. Her parents would've been fine, but they couldn't understand her like a wizard could. So Gregor has been great for Lily in that respect. And also, when she returns to school in three days, then she'd have to face James. She had had a similar anxiety in past years, but now it was for a completely different reason. Since James came to visit about two weeks ago, he hadn't responded to any of her letters. She wasn't sure what possessed him to leave like that and she sure hoped she hadn't done something to offend him. They almost made it to a full year of friendship, but now he was ignoring her. She couldn't figure out why he was acting like this or what she had done to him and she hated it. She had finally admitted to herself that she fancied him and he now is ignoring her. She missed him and he, seemingly, did not miss her. She was pathetic.
There he was, Gregor Markov Rusev, with his curly dark brown hair, scruffy beard, and deep brown eyes. He stood there, staring at her as she stared at him, until they both started to laugh. Lily walked over to him and hugged him.
"I'm so sad zat ve are leaving," he said.
"Don't worry Gregor. Write to me and I'll write to you. We'll be pen pals," Lily said with a bright smile.
"Promise?"
"I promise." Lily hugged him again. He was much taller than she was, probably the same height as James. Wretched James, why did he always come across her thoughts. She was trying to say goodbye to a dear friend.
"Lily!" her mum called. Lily turned her head. And Gregor squeezed her hand.
"Maybe I can visit you sometime," Lily said, "Or you could visit me?"
"Maybe, but now ve must depart," he said, before kissing her hand and releasing it. Lily beamed at him, picked up her suitcase and returned to family, only looking back once. She really hoped she'd see him again.
"Ready Lilyflower?" her dad asked.
"Yeah, yeah I am," she said. It was time to return home and then soon thereafter, return to school.
Lily genuinely could not believe her eyes. Head Girl, the letter read. Head sodding Girl. She had forgot that Head Girl was being given out this year. She had been preoccupied with her unanswered letters to James Potter and her lovely letters to and from Gregor Rusev. It had been a busy two days since she left the ship. And now she stood there frozen, wanting to shout in glee, but she couldn't. She sat down on her bed, breathing slowly and carefully. Wow, she thought, this is real.
"Lilyflower?" her dad said from out in the hall. Lily gulped.
"Yeah Dad," she said, but her voice was raspy.
"Can I come in?" he asked.
"Alright."
"What's that you're holding?" he asked.
"Just- just a badge," she said, swallowing again.
"Like your Prefect's badge?"
"Sort of."
"Let me see," he said taking the badge from her hands.
"HG? As in... Head Girl!?" Lily could hear the excitement and joy in his voice.
"Exactly like that Dad." She was amazed by her odd calmness.
"Nice job sweetheart!" he shouted with glee. Well at least someone was able to. "I'm so so proud of you, Lilyflower." There wasn't much about Hogwarts that her parents could relate to, but Head Girl was one of them.
"Thanks. I just- I need to write a letter," Lily said. She scrambled for her quill and a spare piece of parchment.
Dear Marlene and Mary,
I can't wait to see you guys! I have some rather exciting news, I suppose. I got Head Girl! I don't suppose you'd know who the Head Boy is, would you? I hope it's Remus or maybe Benjy. Anyways, I'll be seeing you all tomorrow!
With love,
Lily Evans
Everything was crazy. Her mum insisted they went out to dinner to celebrate. Her dad even let her try his champagne (Lily didn't tell him that drinking underage wasn't an uncommon occurence in the wizarding world). Petunia even gave her a brief yet firm 'Nice job'. Although Lily heard Vernon whisper to Petunia that Lily probably bewitched the teacher to give it to her. And that's when Lily realized that she was suddenly tired of having Vernon around all the time.
But now it was time to go board the train. She was hardly ready, well she had everything packed, but mentally she wasn't ready. Her thoughts plagued her. What if she wasn't a good Head Girl? What if the Head Boy was a lunatic? What if she let everyone down? The night before she couldn't sleep. She wanted more than anything for James to be there to comfort and reassure her, but he wasn't. She had purposely arrived at the train station early so she could have a few minutes to compose herself, but now it seemed like a bad idea. She tried her best to get her trunk up and onto the train compartment, but she had never done it by herself before. There was always either her dad or a strong student there to help her, but not now. So she heaved and heaved, but it wouldn't work. The train was too high and the trunk was too heavy. She would have just levitated it, but she wasn't allowed to use magic outside of school. It was a tricky prediciment. So she waited.
"Need help there?" a voice she'd recognise anywhere lazily asked. Lily turned her head so quick to see him. James. She only stared at him for a moment, not knowing what to do. "Lily?" He walked closer to her. They were still the only people on the platform, the train wouldn't leave for another 45 minutes.
"What the hell James?" she said at last. Her voice carrying the hurt and pain she felt from being ignored. She said to herself the night before that she would be strong when she saw him again, but that didn't seem to be working.
"What?" James said, looking slightly scared.
"You didn't answer any of my letters for over a fortnight. And you left Greece abruptly as if I did something wrong!" Lily said, visibly upset. She was able to reign in her tears. "And now you're here, early no less, acting like nothing happened."
"C'mon Lily-"
"No! Don't do that. You don't get to do that. I deserve an explanation." She wasn't backing down from this one. They both knew. And usually they argued like it was chess. Holding there heads high, not wanting to give any ground, and calculating the win. But things had changed.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Lily. When I was with you and Gregor, I saw the way you looked at him and I knew that I was intruding on you guys. I didn't want to get in your way so I left. And I was a coward by not answering your letters, but I just couldn't bring myself to face you," James said.
"You weren't intruding on anything. I wasn't looking at Gregor in any special way, in fact, Gregor told me I was doing the same thing to you. And the thing was that I looked at Gregor like a friend, but I look at you like something more," Lily said, her heart beating out of her chest. She swallowed, waiting for him to say something.
"You- you look at me- something more? What d'you mean? What does that mean?" he said, catching his breath even though we were standing still. The way Lily saw it, she had two options: 1) she could lean in and kiss him like they both wanted, or 2) she could pull away and say it was nothing.
"You know what I mean James Potter," she breathed. She would let him decide. She was too scared to decide for herself. Imagine that: Lily Evans is a coward.
"Say it. Say it out loud. I need to hear it for sure," he said. Lily's breath caught. She didn't want to say it. If she said it than it'd be real. What if he didn't like her anymore? What if this changed everything?
"James I-" she began. She was so close from saying it, so close from pressing her lips to his. But close doesn't count, not with James and Lily.
"Prongs!" Sirius shouted. Lily and James jumped apart, Lily more than James did. "Was I interrupting something?" Sirius raised an eyebrow at the two of them with a smirk.
"Yes-" James answered, his expression still pressing her for an answer, but she looked away.
"No, Padfoot, James was just helping me with my trunk," Lily said, holding her head high. "Is that- is that a man bun?" Lily stared at Sirius' new hairstyle with wonder.
"Why yes it is, Tigerlily. You like?" he asked.
"It's lovely, truly. Now if the two of you'd help me lift my trunk up, I have somewhere to be," Lily said.
"And where is that, love?" Sirius asked.
"Just the Prefect's Cart," Lily said quickly. She didn't want to come off as pompous.
"You should have Prongs escort you," Sirius said smirking again. James scowled at him like Sirius had misspoke or something.
"Why? He isn't a Prefect." Lily looked from Sirius to James. James was staring at his feet, like he was hoping Lily wouldn't see him. Odd, because James usually enjoyed being seen by Lily.
"Haven't you heard? Dumbledore has officially gone senile! Why haven't told her Prongsy?" Sirius asked.
"He's been ignoring me a bit lately. He's kind of a git," Lily answered for James, "But go on, do tell me."
"Prongs is Head Boy!" Sirius burst out. Lily gulped. She was Head Girl and he was Head Boy. Head Students. Together. All year. Together...
"That is- Nice job James," Lily congratulated him. She saw the badge loosely pinned onto his robes. She must've overlooked it before when she was staring at his stupid lips. Damn.
"'Nice job' Are you crazy! He wasn't even a Prefect. Dumbledore has gone mad!" Sirius laughed. Lily saw the embarrassment in James' eyes and she felt bad for him. There would've been worse people than him to have as Head Boy. She knew that he probably wasn't the best behaved all the time, but he had calmed down a lot.
"No, I think Dumbledore made a good choice. He knew that James and I would work well together. And that James was one of the smartest in the grade. People look up to him and he's a natural leader. I'm happy for you James," Lily said, "Although I'm still mad at you." People started to enter the platform behind them. Lily realized that she should probably start getting on the train.
"Could you please put my luggage on board," Lily asked again.
"Anything for you Tigerlily," Sirius said. She laughed as she boarded the train. She had almost made it to the Prefect's cart when she felt a hand grab her wrist.
"Lily," James said. He spun her around, making her heart speed up. No matter how long they had been friends, she'd never get used to his physical presence.
"What is it?" she asked. His eyes looked a bit mad, like there were too many thoughts in his head and he couldn't figure them all out.
"We need to talk," he said and he wasn't asking.
"Yeah we probably should. Just so you know, Head Boy is a big deal and as much as I think you deserve it, you should know that I'm going to need you to be invested in it. I refuse to do all of our duties by myself," Lily told him. He gave her a blank stare.
"Of course I'm going to help you. But that's irrelevant right now. What did you mean before?" he pressed. Lily pursed her lips, she knew that before was a mistake.
"Nothing James. Can we get started on our Head Duties though. The Prefects will be here soon," Lily said avoiding looking in his eyes. He sighed loudly and agreed.
"Fine." She almost wished that he had pressed the issue. Then maybe she wouldn't feel like she had to brace herself around him.
"So what should we say to the Prefects and how do we want to come off as?" Lily asked him.
"I dunno how these meetings are usually run so why don't you walk me through it."
"Well it'll start off with a general greeting and introducing ourselves. Then we'd say a gist of the standards Prefects should uphold and all that. Then we'll have a meeting in a few nights with the patrolling timetables. But I'm not sure if we are going for the strict rule-abider type thing or a likable leader type thing," Lily rambled, "For example, Edgar was a strict rule abider and to be honest he kind of scared everyone away. But Millie was very relaxed, although she wasn't much of a leader either. Last year Collin and Julie were both quite strict." James' face visibly darkened when she said Edgar.
"Well we wouldn't want to scare them away, would we? So let's just be ourselves. We're both likable. You're stricter than I am, but not oppressively so. And I'm relaxed, but I'm also a hard worker. Lily we're fine as we are."
"Alright then. But I have to warn you that some of the Prefects might not be so kind to us. Me because I'm a Muggleborn and you because you're a Blood Traitor and you weren't a Prefect. So just don't rise up to it," Lily warned him.
"I won't," he promised. They sat there in silence for a bit. She hated the silence between them.
"What classes are you taking for NEWTS?" Lily asked, biting her lip nervously.
"Er- Defence, Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, Herbology, Arithmancy, and Astrology," James answered, "I dropped History of Magic and Runes." It was an impressive schedule, and extremely similar to her own.
"I've got that too except I'm taking History of Magic over Arithmancy," she said. And the silence fell again.
"So how's Greggy?"
"Please don't be like this, James," she begged. She couldn't handle him and his ego at the moment.
"Like what? I'm just wondering how your foreign friend is doing," James said innocently.
"He's great actually, if you're so interested. He's invited me to visit next summer and I'm excited. Wonderful man, he is. So handsome..." she said her voice dripping in wonder.
"Stop it!" James said.
"Than why did you ask!" she yelled.
"I needed to know how you felt about him. And now I do," he said matter-of-factly.
"Well if you have to be such a prat, then no I don't fancy Gregor, as I said before. I said those things because I knew you were trying to be a git and I wasn't going to let you enjoy it. So stop being so jealous! You don't have the right to be," Lily yelled.
"You don't fancy him?"
"No."
"And you don't look at him like you fancy him?"
"No," she said raising her voice a bit.
"But you look at me like I'm more than a friend," he said. She didn't respond.
"Lily," he insisted, "Tell me."
"I can't," she choked out.
"Please, Lily. I can't handle not knowing," James said quietly. His eyes regarded her tenderly, like he was seeing the world for the first time. Like he was finally allowing himself to hope again. Lily looked up into his eyes, knowing that she just had to be brave. Be brave for ten seconds, she told herself, just do it. Just say it. Three words. C'mon Evans.
"Fine," Lily scowled, "I fancy you." She said those words, while glaring at him. He stood there frozen. She hated him for not doing anything. He could've kissed her or said something. Not to be arrogant, but he made it clear that he still liked her, so why wasn't he doing anything?
"Are you going to say anything or what?" Lily asked him.
"You aren't messing with me right? Padfoot didn't set you up to do this?" James asked, squinting his eyes carefully.
"No, I fancy you alright?"
"Well you can't blame me for asking! I've fancied you since 5th year and you have made it clear that it wasn't gonna happen. So don't glare at me like I've done something wrong!" James shouted. This was going well, Lily thought. They were already fighting.
"You can't blame me for not liking you sooner! In 5th year you tormented my ex-best friend and I don't hold that against you anymore, honestly. And I'm telling you now that I fancy you, take it or leave it," Lily shouted back. James froze again, he opened his mouth to speak again, but he was interrupted. The door swung open, as Prefects piled into the cart. Lily let out the deep breath she didn't know she was holding in and turned away from James' prying eyes. She desperately wanted to finish their conversation, but she had a job to do. James would have to wait.
"Hello everyone! I'm Lily Evans and this is James Potter. We are the Head Students as you may know." Lily heard some scoffs from a Slytherin Prefect that she didn't know.
"Hi, if you have an issue with Lily being Head Girl or me as Head Boy, then feel free to talk to Professor Dumbledore. Otherwise please treat us with respect as we'll treat you. You are Prefects afterall, we expect nothing but exemplery behaviour," James spoke up with a fierce expression. "And I know that I might be an unusual pick for Head Boy, seeing as I wasn't a Prefect, but don't think that I won't be a damn good one." The Prefects were all silent after that, even Lily was a bit unnerved.
"Like James said, we expect good behaviour from you all. The Headmaster entrusted us all with being here and it's important that you all make sure his trust wasn't ill placed. Moving on, as some returning Prefects know, there are multiple duties that Prefects must uphold. For example, there is patrolling duty. Everyone here will have that and we will make a timetable to split it up. Also 5th year Prefects must deliver the first years to their respective Common Rooms after the feast. During school you will be allowed to take points from students who directly break any school rules. We will discuss this further at a later time, for now you all can go patrol the corridors," Lily said to the group. She didn't mind speaking more than James did, because he didn't know how these things worked.
"Thank you all and have a good start of term," James said to the Prefects as they filed out. Remus and Dorcas, the seventh year Gryffindor Prefects, came up to them after the meeting. Dorcas had replaced Lily as Prefect.
"How did we do?" Lily asked them when the room had emptied.
"Great. I loved how you shut that Slytherin down James," Dorcas said with a grin.
"Thanks, I just couldn't let them get away with it now or it'll only get worse," James said, finding Lily's eyes as she spoke. She looked away rapidly.
"Yeah well we should get going, I guess," Dorcas said.
"Hey Remus!" Lily shouted after him, "Don't skip out on patrol this year, will you?" Remus laughed and mock saluted her.
"Yes ma'am," he yelled back. Lily chuckled. Remus smiled and turned back around. Lily turned back around to see James standing there, too close and too serious. He looked at her in an intense way that was unique to him.
"Are we still only friends?" he asked. Although it could've just as equally been a beg. His jaw ticked and Lily gulped. Now would be a good time for that bravery, but she wasn't sure if she could be brave again. It was quite tiresome.
"We're more," Lily said, her eyes ablaze. She could've kissed him just then, she should've. His eyes were full of heat too, but different then hers. His eyes warmed up the room and made her spine tingle. He leant into kiss her. And that's when she ran.
She burst down the busy corridor, her heart pounding and eyes blurry. Her hair flew in a tangled mess as she ran and stumbled past people. She didn't know which cart her friends were in and she couldn't stop herself to check. So she kept going, running faster and faster, doing her best not to plow into anyone. Finally she reached the end of the train, with no where left to run, the part where virtually no one was. The last cart was empty so she swung it open and sat down. She had ruined everything.
It took James ten minutes to find her and Lily wasn't surprised. He swung the door shut behind him and sat on the opposite bench as her. He tilted her chin up to look at him.
"We aren't leaving until you tell me everything running through your head, because frankly I'm a bit confused," James said to tell. His tone had a lightness to it, but Lily knew this meant a lot to him... and to her.
"I don't know if I can explain it, James," she said to him, wiping her tears.
"You're raving mad, did you know that?" he joked. Lily smiled lightly.
"I know I am. But I don't know why that hasn't scared you away yet," Lily said. She really was still wondering why he liked her. The same question she had asked when he confessed his love for her.
"I'm here for the long haul," James replied. "Now tell me what's going on, before it drives me mad."
"I fancy you and you fancy me. That should make it easy for us to be together, but it isn't. What if we broke up? What if you've built up what dating me would be like in your head and I'm not enough? What if it ruins our friendship? What if dating me gets you killed?" Lily blurted out. These questions had sat in the back of her head since James had visited her in Greece.
"Lily," he said carefully. His words were slow. Deliberate. Careful. "I don't know how else to say this, but I swear everything will work out. Whether we are dating or just friends, nothing will break us apart. You mean too much to me for that to happen. You are are everything to me, don't ever doubt that for a second. If you give me a chance, I won't mess this up."
"I know that and I trust you. I want you. I want this. But the facts are undisputable, James. You are a pureblood, a very rich one at that. Me? I'm a Muggleborn from a working class family from Cokeworth. Do you know how many people want to kill me because my blood isn't like yours? Or how many would kill you for not hating me? I would never forgive myself if you died because of me." She was desperate now. Pleading with him. Needing him to understand. He would die if he stuck with her. She knew it and she couldn't let it happen.
"Rule 8: Always be a Blood Traitor," he said with a smile. "Even if you weren't in my life I would still be on the right side of this war. I would still be a Blood Traitor. I would still beg Dumbledore to let me join the Order. And those people out there? They would still try and kill me and you would never be at fault."
"But relationships fall apart all the time... and I don't want us to," Lily said.
"This is it, you and me." He grabbed Lily's hands between his, his eyes wide with hope. She couldn't bring herself to say no to him again, because she didn't want to.
"This is it," Lily repeated with a smile forming on her face. A smile he gladly reciprocated.
"Lily Evans," he said. She nodded, "Will you go out with me?" This time she didn't hesitate or pull away or rack her brain for an insult.
"Yes." It was a simple one word answer, that completely changed everything. That word changed her life and the world forever. Nothing would be the same after that single moment.
"Finally," James replied. His grin stretched across his face and his eyes sparkled. That was when Lily's resolve cracked. It broke into a million little pieces, irreparable as it fell around them. She pulled James close to her and leant in, taking the initiative. His robes were in her fists as she found his lips with hers. She melted into him, thinking only of how good it felt to be in his arms. It was simple and pure pleasue that unravelled every anxiety. His lips were soft and warm just like the kiss, moving naturally against her own. Except the kiss became more intense the longer it went on. Her fingers moved to his hair, messing it up the way she used to hate. His hands cupped her face, with an endearing gentleness. They drowned in the heated need for one another. Shivers went down her spine. They were unable to pull away and neither wanted to. But then he did. Why did he have to, she thought.
"Lily," he voice was hoarse. Her eyes fluttered open. His eyes were muddled with heat. Lily could hardly think, she could hardly move. "For the record I didn't build you up in my head at all."
"Neither did I," Lily replied. It was perfect... he was perfect. "Now what?"
"I mean we could stay here and snog some more. Or we can leave and return to the Prefect's Cart hand in hand and do our job. What do you say?" James proposed.
"As much as I'd love to stay here with you, we can't. We have to get back to the Prefect's Cart," Lily said. She couldn't believe she let time get away from her. They had to get back fast. James grinned boyishly at her and offered her his hand. A simple gesture that they had done a million times before, but now it meant something more. And Lily couldn't stop smiling either.
Together they returned to the other end of the train, hand in hand, like James proposed. She hoped that her hair wasn't too mussed up and that it wasn't so obvious. It caused a few whispers and gawking from passerbyers, and Lily was sure that rumours would be plenty present when the train got to Hogsmeade station. And Lily was too happy to care although she had an itching suspicion that someone's eyes had followed her as they ran. But for a few moments she let her fears and anxieties escape her and she simply revelled in her newfound relationship.
"So this is definitely real right? I'm not dreaming?" James asked again. He had asked her that about a hundred times and Lily was tired of it. It wasn't like she was something to drool over.
"Not dreaming and please shut up," Lily said lovingly. He grinned at her.
"Remember what I told you at the New Years Party?" He raised an eyebrow. A certain moment popped into her head and she laughed.
"Kissing is a good way to shut you up," Lily recalled. If anything she felt like she was dreaming. James was just... everything. So Lily kissed him again and she didn't hold back. Her hand reached for his neck and his hand found the small of her back making her spine tingle in the way that only he can. He murmured words against her lips, their breathes mingling. It was lovely until a loud knock ruined it all.
"Should I come back?" a dark-haired 5th year Prefect asked. Her eyes were wide with shock as James and Lily untangled. To make it even worse the Prefect was Amelia Bones aka the sister of Edgar and Melissa. Damn.
"Yes-" James said.
"No, it's- er, it's fine." Lily shot James a dirty look. "What can I help you with?"
"There's a commotion inside one of the compartments and no one can get inside. It sounds like a fight," Amelia explained. Lily and James were on their feet.
"Where?" James demanded. Lily was sure that James suspected their friends to be in on the fight. She just hoped they were wrong.
"Towards the end of the train. You'll be able to hear them," Amelia told them looking not nervous in the slightest. James snatched Lily's hand and they raced down the corridor. Her heart thumped in her chest, she hoped that they weren't too late. Amelia was right, they could hear the commotion before they saw it. James pushed by the crowd of people outside the compartment.
"Watch out!" he yelled. People did as he said. Lily pulled at the door, but it wouldn't budge. Oh God. The shades were drawn and the door locked with magic, because no spell was working.
"Bloody hell," James muttered. He rummaged in the pockets of his robes and pulled out a penknife.
"Woah James, what are you doing?" Lily said concerned. He stuck the knife into the lock on the door and somehow the lock clicked open. How on Earth did James pull off the things he did. Lily shook her head.
"Everyone back off! Return to your compartments," Lily shouted to the crowd of people before James opened the door. "Prefects stay with me, but do not enter!" James swung the door open, whipping his wand up. The compartment was crowded. Sirius, Remus, and Peter were on one side with Snape, Mulciber, and Evan Rosier on the other. Marlene was kneeling down holding Mary's head in her hands. Avery was passed out on the other side. But the fight ended within seconds of them entering. With the surprise of them barging in, Remus was able to put a Bodybind curse on Mulciber. And Lily quickly stunned Evan Rosier. That left only Snape standing, he stared at Lily looking lost. Sirius and James both Stunned him at the same time.
"What happened?" Lily demanded. She turned to Sirius and Remus, not being able to bear to look at what happened to Mary yet.
"They attacked us. They heard that the two of you got Head Students and Snape was pissed. Happened a little while ago, he's bloody insane," Sirius said shaking his head. He had a cut on his cheek and left arm, but was otherwise okay. Remus didn't appear to be hurt, nor did Marlene. But Mary, poor Mary wasn't alright. She wasn't conscious or bleeding, but she seemed unnaturally pale and sickly. She looked so dead, but she wasn't. Her chest rose and fell with each frail breath, thankfully.
"What happened to Mary?" Lily asked. She was afraid of what she might hear.
"Dunno. Rosier fired a curse that I don't know and I know a lot of curses, mind you. After it hit Mary it backfired and hit Avery too, I'm not sure why," Sirius explained.
"The curse was probably too strong for her to absorb it all. It happens with some curses, rare though, and not good for the one who gets hit with it. Avery'll be fine though," James added. Lily didn't know how James knew that, it was something Professor Flitwick had casually mentioned once last year. She didn't think James would've been paying attention then. But he had and he kept surprising her.
"Right, let's just hope that Madam Pomfrey will know what to do. We're almost there anyway," Remus said looking out the window. I still couldn't tell the difference between the trees and hills near Hogwarts and the trees and hills closer to London. But it doesn't matter, all that matters is getting Mary to Madam Pomfrey.
"Are there any Professors on the train?" Sirius asked.
"No." Lily shook her head. "They entrusted James and I to be able to handle it ourselves, I guess."
"Hey, it isn't your fault," James said. He put his arm around her shoulder, comforting her, but she wasn't the one looking like they were dead on the floor.
"We should've stopped this. It is my fault, for God's sake," Lily said. Lily knew Snape had saw Lily and James grinning and holding hands. She just knew it. That's why he came over here fuming about James and Lily being Head Students together.
"Lily-"
"No listen! Snape saw, he saw us. That's why he came storming over here. That's what set him off. If we hadn't done that- I knew someone would see! Argh!" Lily stammered.
"You aren't making any sense Lily and it isn't helping Mary," James told her. She huffed even though he was right. Her rambling wasn't helping Mary and she knew that.
"Move aside," Lily said. She made her way over to Evan Rosier and reversed the curse only after taking his wand.
"What are you doing!?"
"Whazzgoinon?" Evan slurred. Lily grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close.
"What the bloody hell did you do to Mary?" Lily demanded. She waited for him to answer and he had the nerve to laugh. Not chuckle but a full blown crazy person cackle. He seemed as insane as someone who spent their life in Azkaban.
"What did you do to her, you dirty Death Eater!" James shouted. He placed his wand at Evan's throat harshly.
"Why should I tell a Blood Traitor like you?"
"You say it like it's a bad thing," James growled. "And you'll tell me now while you still have a fighting chance to not be expelled rather than Dumbledore kicking filthy scum like you out the door!" Lily figured that filthy scum was redendant, but it didn't matter at the moment.
"Don't you see, Potter. I don't care about school! The Dark Lord doesn't care about me getting an Outstanding in Charms. It doesn't matter and soon Dumbledore won't be here to protect you," Evan Rosier said with another crazy grin.
"I don't see Dumbledore here now. And yet you're still wandless and cursed," James said. "So if I were you I'd tell me how to fix Mary. Preferably now!" James pressed the wand a bit harder into his neck.
"Oh it's simple really. Black, I'm surprised you don't remember this one. I believe your dear father used it upon you, yeah?" Evan said smirking again.
"Don't call me that name!" Sirius rushed forward, only to have Remus pull him back. "And he's no father of mine." Sirius scowled at Evan while yelling at Remus to let him go. Sirius had a certain knack for creative langauge and insults.
"You can't escape it, cousin, you can't pretend. You're a Black through and through. You can't outrun your heritage!" Evan shouted with another cackle. "It's in your blood, Blood Traitor!"
"All we want is for you to reverse the spell, Rosier. That's all," Sirius said with a stony mask, the anger bubbling beneath the surface, ready to explode.
"You can't touch me. Your precious Dumbledore wouldn't allow it. Give me my wand and we'll duel. If you win I'll fix her," Evan said, looking slightly more rational.
"Don't do it, Sirius." Marlene shook her head at Sirius.
"James is my second," Sirius said, ignoring Marlene. "Who's yours?"
"Go fetch Wilkes. He should be around," Evan said smiling. James nodded and ran off. Lily knew this was a bad idea. It wouldn't end well. She had to stop them somemhow.
"Sirius," She whispered. She pulled him over to the corner as Remus held Evan.
"What?" he snapped.
"Don't do this. Your rising to his bait," Lily warned.
"We need him to fix Mary," Sirius insisted.
"We're going to be at Hogwarts in 10 minutes and Madam Pomfrey will take care of her, okay?" Lily said. Sirius scowled. "You aren't doing this because of Mary, are you?"
"What are you trying to say? Huh? You think I'm evil or something? D'you reckon he's right? That I'm a Black through and through?" Sirius demanded. He looked angry, his face turning a bit red.
"No I don't. You're Sirius and you're sweet and caring and occasionally reckless, but not evil and not a Black. And you're only proving my point. You don't need to prove to anyone that you aren't like your family. Because you already have," Lily said. She grabbed his wrist.
"You don't understand," he grumbled.
"I know I don't, but everyone knows that you aren't like your family. I mean for God's sake you are talking to me afterall," Lily tried to make it a joke. She wanted that carefree Sirius back. "Please don't duel him. I wouldn't be able to handle both you and Mary being hurt." Evan Rosier was so confident that he'd make it out unscathed that he chose Wilkes for his second. Lily personally had never seen him duel, but she knew that he was magically skilled in most subjects. She knew this wouldn't turn out good for either of them.
"How d'you know that I'd get hurt?" Ah there it was. Pride.
"Because people like Evan wouldn't hesitate to use an Unforgivable."
"I've already endured that before," Sirius shot back.
"And why would you want to again?" Lily asked. "Nothing good will come from this, because Mary will get help from Madam Pomfrey."
"I can't let them win," he said defeated.
"You aren't, Sirius, you are simply being the man we all know you are. The one that is the furthest thing from a Death Eater," Lily reassured. She patted his shoulder and pulled him into a hug. James burst through the door without Wilkes.
"Couldn't find him, but I can see the castle." James gestured to the window. He was right, tht castle was in view.
"No need James. We aren't going to take help from scum like Rosier even if I could kick his arse in the process," Sirius said pridefully. He raised his wand and put the Body-Bind burse back onto Evan.
"When we get there, Moony and Padfoot will take Mary and Avery straight up to Madam Pomfrey. James and I have our Head Duties and the Prefects'll handle Snape, Evan, and Mulciber. Marlene and Wormtail, can you guys alert McGonagoll about what happened?" Lily told them. They nodded earnestly. Then her facade broke. She ran over and hugged Marlene, desperately needing her best friend. Just someone to hold her for a second. So much had happened that day and it was all very emotional. One of her closest friends laid in a comatose state and Lily had no clue if she'd be okay.
"It'll be okay Lils," Marlene comforted. It was nice to hear her words, but Lily knew they were empty. Empty words with no backing or evidence. No one knew what Evan had done to Mary and they didn't know if she'd be okay.
"Did- did Snape say anything when he came in? Or was it just sudden fighting?" Lily asked, wiping her tears.
"He was practically off his rocker, Snape was. He was muttering things like 'Stupid Heads' 'Blood Traitor Potter' 'Hands off'. Weird things like that, although the 'Blood Traitor Potter' could be expected," Marlene said with a weak smile. Lily knew it. She knew it. She was officially partially responible for Mary's condition. If Lily hadn't run from James, then they wouldn't have walked back hand in hand. And if Snape hadn't seen them walking hand in hand then he wouldn't have stormed over and fought her friends. Then his friend wouldn't have cursed her friend and Sirius wouldn't be so upset from Evan's words.
"Yeah, ha ha," Lily said, her voice hollow.
"What did you mean before about setting off Snape?" Marlene asked warily. Oh no, Marlene thought it was her fault too. Oh God.
"He saw me and James. He saw us together-" Lily began, but her voice choked up.
"He's had a year to come to terms with your friendship. this wasn't your fault," Marlene said. Okay maybe Marlene didn't think it was her fault at the moment at least. She wanted to tell Marlene about her and James. How she told him she fancied him and she ran from him scared that their relationship would get him hurt. And she was right in a way. Their relationship had been alive for mere minutes and it already got Mary cursed and knocked out. They couldn't be together. She wouldn't let it hurt anyone else.
"Yeah," she said. She couldn't talk about it any more with Marlene, not until she ended it with James. But she didn't want to end it with James and she didn't want him to hate her. In the end she'd rather him alive and hating her than dead because of her.
The train came to a screeching halt. Lily lurched forward a bit, almost crashing into James. She helped Remus and Sirius get Mary and Avery ready to be levitated into the castle. Lily looked up to James, remembering that they'd be working together all year. How could she tell him that she couldn't be with him then share a responsibility with him for months.
~James~ Royal Screw Ups
Quick recap of his day so far. He came to Kings Cross Station early, which he'd never done before. But now he was Head Boy so there's a first time for everything, right?. Anways, he saw Lily standing there struggling and as much as he couldn't face her, he knew he had to. He wasn't going to just leave her struggling. James is a gentleman and a Gryffindor after all. Also Marlene told him that Lily got Head Girl so he'd have to see her all the time. Anyways she was mad at him and she vaguely eluded to fancying him, which James needed clarification on because who ever truly knows Lily's feelings. And he didn't want to get his hopes up. Sirius came and ruined it as she was about to say something important and she ran away. James caught up and she told him she fancied him. He was going to kiss her but she ran away again. He found her and then they kissed and ran hand in hand back to the Prefect's Cart. Then Amelia walked in on their snogging and led them to the scene of a fight. Evan Rosier cursed Mary (on purpose) and Avery (on accident). Now him and Lily have Head duties and their friends are going to alert Madam Pomfrey and McGonagoll.
"All right Lily?" James asked her. She had just stopped crying in the corner with Marlene. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he hoped she wasn't hurting.
"Not really," she said. She wouldn't look into his eyes. James grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He just hoped that her feeling down was solely because of Mary's predictament and not because of him in some way.
"She'll be okay. Madam Pomfrey has never failed us before," James told her.
"I know that I just- Nevermind, we better get going," Lily said. They swung the door open and were practically attacked and bombarded by people. Mary's boyfriend was at the front of the crowd.
"What happened? Is she alright? Merlin Lily, tell me!" Reginald shouted at Lily. He shook Lily's shoulders. James put his arm out and made Reginald step back. James had never heard Reginald so outspoken before.
"There was a fight and Mary got caught up in it. She was hit with a curse that we don't recognise-" James explained.
"What!? Where is she?" he shouted again.
"She's being brought up to Madam Pomfrey as we speak. I reckon you should go find Sirius and Remus if you want to find her," James said again. And Reginald didn't hestitate another moment. He sprinted off down the hall towards the exit.
"We should get going," Lily said, "We have to make sure Hagrid has all of the First Years in attendance." They exited the train together, no longer holding hands and James was disappointed.
"Hey Hagrid. How are you?" Lily asked. The large man turned and faced James and Lily.
"Hiya Lily. How're yeh doin'? Head Girl I s'pose. No my'stry there," Hagrid said with a toothy grin.
"Hi there Hagrid," James added.
"Head Boy... well done! Yeh're both goin' to do great things, yeh hear. Great things I tell yeh or at least Dumbledore tells me. And I trust him, Dumbledore I mean. The man knows what he's doin'." Hagrid said.
"Thanks Hagrid, now what should we do to help you?" James asked.
"Oh right. C'mon yeh oughta help me get these rowdy firs' years under control. Y'know scratch that, yeh'll just make sure that everyone gets on the carriages," Hagrid said to the Head students.
"Jus' make sure no one's hanging back. They've upped the security this year. Well I'll be seeing yeh," he said before turning back to the First Years. "Firs' years! Firs' years! This way, the lot'a yeh!"
"All right then let's go," Lily said, "Bye Hagrid." Hagrid was to busy saying things to the First Years to pay attention to her.
"No more'n four to a boat, yeh hear. When everybody's in we'll go forward," Hagrid went on. James watched Lily smile for a moment as she watched Hagrid. He was happy she was happy.
"He's such a sweet guy, don't you think?" Lily said.
"Yeah," he agreed. "I thought we'd have a harder task. I mean so far we've only had to introduce ourselves to the Prefects and take the last carraige to the castle."
"And fight a few Slytherins," she added glumly. Damn, she was upset again.
"Yeah well we'll go straight up to the Hospital Wing after the Feast, yeah?" James said.
"No we have to go to Dumbledore first. That's what he said in our letters," Lily reminded him.
"Right well after that I guess," he said. That was the last thing they said to each other on the carraige ride. Both were lost in their thoughts and neither were in a sharing mood.
The feast felt off. Like the Great Hall had an odd vibe. Sirius and Remus stumbled into the Great Hall halfway through the Sorting, not seeming too happy. Peter and Marlene were there and they had told McGonagoll everything that happened. Dumbledore was rambling on about the castle's new defence measures and how we are in danger and all. Which the Sorting Hat sang about as well. And it seemed like every student in the Hall had heard about the fight, whispers and rumours were being spread like the plague. Everything felt gloomy and unhappy. James hated it. The only vaguely good note is their new DADA teacher: Mr. Maverick Fawley. James knew of Maverick, or Mav as he called him. He was a pureblood and a good friend of the Potters. Maverick was James' closest neighbour. Not that they were very close at all, it was a few miles between their respective Manors. Mav was only a few years above James which left him wondering how he got the job or why he wanted it at all. Everyone knew that the DADA teachers never return for a second year. Mrs. Shaw, last year's teacher, left midway through the year to check up on her parents and never came back. They were stuck with a substitute for the remainder of the year.
"Sirius," James whispered. Sirius' head shot up. "What happened?"
"Pomfrey has her. Should be alright, but she hasn't woken up yet. Cattermole's with her," Sirius said briefly. James nodded, at least it hadn't got any worse. He let out a sigh of relief, but the room didn't become less gloomy.
"What did McGonagoll say to you, Wormtail? Are they gonna be expelled?" James asked.
"She didn't say nothin; 'bout punishments or anything, just 'bout how she was glad that we told her and that it was irresponsible to fight'em back. Just how McGonagoll usually is," Peter responded.
"Right. Blast it, d'you think anyone would notice if I left here early?" James asked.
"C'mon James you're Head Boy now. Stick this one out," Lily said, "I want to leave too, but this is our duty. Madam Pomfrey has got it under control."
"Fine," he huffed. Checking up on Mary wasn't the only thing he wanted to do when he left. He wanted to talk to Lily and reaffirm their relationship, perhaps snog a bit, because that was honestly heavenly. He could hardly believe his luck. Lily freaking Evans fancied him! Imagine that. Naturally a crisis had to occur and take away from the moment, but nonetheless he's dating Lily. He couldn't wrap his head around it and he definitely didn't want to mess it up. Damn, Lily kissed him.
That's how James spent the rest of the Feast, replaying the moments in his head. Occasionally he'd join in the conversation, but only so they wouldn't think he'd gone off his rocker. So when the Feast ended James was excited. he'd finally get to talk to Lily and visit Mary and find out about his Head Boy duties. It was all very exciting, well not about Mary. He really did need to start making an effort to be her friend, the two of them had never really spoken much.
"C'mon, love, let's get up to Dumbledore's office," James said, pulling Lily by the hand. Once they rounded the corner and came into an empty corridor, James leant in to kiss her.
"James this really isn't the time-" Lily objected.
"D'you have an issue with me kissing you or something?" he asked.
"Are you joking, James? We kissed on multiple occasions today," Lily reminded him, pushing his chest away from her lightly.
"Yeah, but the second I try and kiss you, you pull back or run away," James said poutily.
"That's- I don't have an issue with you kissing me. It just isn't the time right now. We have things to do. More important things," Lily said.
"This is important to me," James grumbled.
"Look be mad at me if you want, it wouldn't be different than half the time anyways," Lily said before walking away. James scowled. How could she say that? She's mad at him half he time too. Why did everything have to be complicated? When James reached Dumbledore's office the door was ajar and Lily was already inside. Merlin she ran off pretty fast.
"Please take a seat James," Dumbledore said pleasantly. James sat and Lily wouldn't meet his gaze. Talk about being mad. "I heard about the incident on the train." He didn't say anything more.
"Yes, sorry about that sir. We did our best to stop the fighting as quickly as possible," James said. He hoped Dumbledore wouldn't be mad about how the fight occured on their watch.
"And for that, I am glad. But I'd like to hear your account of the story, rather than what I heard from second hand sources," Dumbledore said.
"Of course Professor," James said, before recounting the story to him. He made sure to emphasize Rosier's cruelty, hoping Dumbldore would see to the most severe punishment.
"These students in question, the 7th year Slytherin boys, are a group you are known to have a grudge with. Am I correct in that assumption?" the Headmaster asked.
"Yes sir, but Lily and I weren't even there! This was more than just a house rivalry. That group is sitting in the palm of-" James began.
"Voldemort, yes," Dumbledore finished.
"You- you know, sir?"
"About certain students being interested in becoming a Death Eater? Yes I know. I am sensible enough to realize that a great deal of events take place within this school that I don't know of, but potential Death Eaters is something I am very aware of," he said with a frown.
"Right, so you know this is deeper than a Quidditch match."
"Yes, much deeper indeed. I simply needed your opinion," Dumbledore said with his eyes twinkling.
Sir? Will Mary be alright?" James asked.
"I spoke to Madam Pomfrey, Mary will be just fine. An old piece of magic on her, but she will be okay in a few days. She is still sleeping it off," Dumbledore said.
"Right, well that's relieving," James said. Lily still hadn't spoke. James went on, "Will the attackers be punished?" Dumbledore took a moment to respond. He seemed to have been expecting the question.
"Punished? Well that wouldn't be up to me as much as it would be up to Professor Slughorn," Dumbledore said, "But if I know Horace at all, than he will be sure to dish out the suffice number of detentions." James only nodded. It wasn't what he was hoping. He wanted expulsion, or at the very least suspension, but he knew that he could do nothing about it.
"So how are you faring in your new position? I must apologise," Dumbledore said looking sorry, "because this year is different. It won't be an easy one by any means. As Head Boy and Girl you'll be targeted even more than you were before, and for that I am sorry for putting you in such a position. But in my defence I needed two people I could entrust with the safety of the school." Wow, Dumbledore trusts Lily and him. He wasn't surprised about Lily so much, but James. Wow.
"Thank you sir," Lily said finally. "How can we help around the castle to make it a safer place? On the train I was thinking that maybe we need more people patrolling at a time."
"That sounds like a good idea and I'm sure you'll put a lovely timetable together for it. Your current task, however, will be to keep the students calm without making them complacent. Other than that, I fear that there is not much to be done, although I will let you know when the time arises," he went on, "For now though I'll instruct you on how to get to your rooms." Rooms? As in different to our normal dorms?
"Your Head dormitory is joined, obviously with separate bedrooms and a common living space. You can access it by a password of your choice. At the moment it is set as Treacle Tart," said Dumbledore. James gave him a blank stare.
"Um sir, where is this dormitory? I've never heard of it before?" James said. He'd heard of it all. From secret passages to secret chambers. He perhaps hadn't found it all yet, but he has heard of it at least. Although a secret Heads dormitory he hasn't heard of.
"This is because it is a secret. And I'd appreciate it if the only ones whom you inform would be your current dormmates," he said, "As to it's location, well it's on the 7th floor behind the tapestry depicting Merlin's battle with Morgana." James for one knew where the tapestry was, but he'd never seen any doorway behind it.
"Alright thank you, sir," Lily said.
"Oh wait," Dumbledore spoke, "Before it slips my mind, Miss Evans will you gather all the 7th year Gryffindors and the others we spoke about last winter for a meeting with me next Friday?"
"Yes sir," she said. Dumbledore smiled at them as they exited. James was pumped to have a secret dormitory. It's one more secret of the castle they had unlocked. Once they exited Dumbledore's office, James grabbed Lily's hand.
"What was that about? The meeting I mean?" James asked. She shrugged and he squeezed her hand tighter.
"You're a really affectionate bloke, did you know that?" But Lily did not pull her hand away from his.
"Is that so bad? I've waited two years to do this. And it paid off, Lily Evans is my girlfriend!" James said with a wide grin. Lily gave a noncommital sound and James stopped in his tracks.
"What's going on with you? Are you mad at me still?" James asked.
"No, I'm just not sure if us dating is such a good idea," Lily said. James' face fell and he dropped her hand.
"You're kidding." His voice was hollow. He turned and he started to walk away.
"Wait hear me out James!"
"What else is there to hear? You don't fancy me anymore? It was just a joke or a snog? What is it now?" James snapped. How could she do this to him again. They talked on the train about her fears in the relationship and he thought that went away.
"Mary got hurt because of us," Lily said, almost whispering. Like she didn't want to admit it out loud.
"Rubbish. You can't blame us for that. And that's a horrible excuse to break up with me for, if you can even say that. I mean we've been 'dating' for not even a day and you are ending things." James shook his head in disbelief.
"It isn't rubbish James! Snape saw us holding hands and giggling as we went back to the Head's Compartment. I know he saw us. I felt his eyes on me and when he attacked them he was muttering about us! About you keeping your hands off me and 'Blood Traitor Potter'. If he hadn't seen us then Mary wouldn't be hurt. What if she died!?" Lily shouted. Then more quietly she went on, "I won't have you or anyone else get hurt because of us."
"I don't care about being hurt-"
"Well I'd care, James! I'd care if you were hurt! So would your family and friends. And I refuse for it to be my fault!"
"Lily, I love you so damn much. I can't stand knowing that you fancy me too and you won't act on it because you're trying to be all noble," James said gently.
"I'm not trying to be noble," she insisted, "This is serious."
"Yeah but any one of us could die any day. And it wouldn't be your fault at all." James stepped closer to her.
"Is that suposed to make me feel better, because if so you are doing a rubbish job," Lily said with a frown. "And I want this as much as you do, but I'd rather you alive as my friend than dead as my boyfriend."
"Lily don't you understand? When we leave school, we'll face death every single day. And they hate me because I don't hate Muggles and Muggleborns. So no matter what I do, date you or not, they will still hate me. They will still target me and they'll still target you," James said.
"You really are awful at cheering people up," she said again. He smiled.
"Well you're too smart for me to coddle you," he joked. "So er- what's going on in your head?"
"I don't know. It all happened rather quickly and I think I need some time. And James, I truly meant it before when I said I'd go out with you. I've just saw Mary get hurt and I knew it was because Snape saw us..."
"Take all the time you need. I'm used to being patient. And I'm not mad at you, but don't not do this because of Snape. That's all that I ask of you," James told her.
"Snape isn't the reason I'm unsure. It's that I can't handle you dying and you're more likely to die if you are with me," Lily said.
"I'll be okay, but take you're time to decide. I'll be waiting for you," he said. "Now let's go visit Mary."
Mary is doing all right. Madam Pomfrey said she'll probably wake up tomorrow or the day after next. Reginald refused to leave her side, even overnight. There shouldn't be any side effects to the curse. James was overjoyed when he heard the news. Then Lily spilled the news to Marlene, Dorcas, Emmeline, Sirius, Peter, and Remus about the secret meeting she was told to gather them for.
"So Dumbledore wants us all and a few others to come to a meeting with him on Friday," Lily said.
"A meeting? What about?" Dorcas asked.
"I'm not allowed to say just yet, but you'll see when we get there," Lily said. Wait, that implyed that she knew what the meeting was about, but she told him that she didn't know. He gave her a look, but she wasn't looking at him.
"So what time is this meeting?" Remus asked.
"He didn't say-" James began.
"It's at 3:00," Lily said. He looked at her again.
"Well which one is it then?" Sirius joked.
"Well he really didn't say." James crossed his arms. What was going on with her.
"Right well I'm just assuming it's at 3," she muttered.
"That's a bit of a random time to assume, wouldn't you say?" Remus pressed. This time Lily glared at James for getting her into this mess.
"Yeah I guess you're right, it is a bit random. Anyways, I'm going to go settle in," Lily told them all, avoiding explanation. Then she turned on her heels and stalked off. James sighed, he had messed up.
"What was she going on about?" Emmeline muttered. James fought the urge to tell Emmeline to go to hell. He was a bit pissed at her. Mostly because she was so horrible to Remus when they were breaking up, but now because she was being awfully rude.
"I should go settle in as well. I'll see you," he said, before following where Lily had gone. He made his way up to the 7th floor and walked to the tapestry with Merlin on it.
"Treacle Tart," James said. A door handle materialized, not unsimilar to the kitchens entrance. James opened the door and walked inside. The first word that came to mind when James first saw the sitting room for James and Lily to share was: ordinary. It was similar to the Gryffindor Common Room in that it had a cosy looking fireplace. Although it was much smaller. There was only one singular couch and a small table with two chairs. There were multiple paintings, most of them depicting Merlin. Was Merlin a theme of this room or something? There were two doors at the back of the room. One for Lily and one for him, both were labelled either Head Boy or Head Girl. James, obviously, went into the Head Boy room. And once again it was ordinary. There was a queen sized bed, a bathroom, a painting, and a dresser. A decent sized room, not quite as large as his room back home, but a bigger space than his dorm with the Marauders. That's when it hit him: he wouldn't be rooming with the Marauders anymore. He'd have all of this space to himself, but no company. It was a bleak thought. Although having Lily next door was incredible, he'd miss his mates. It was tough over the summer ever since Sirius moved out to his very own flat.
James stood up and went back into the sitting room and lounged by the fire. He watched the flames hungrily eat at the wood. The licked and jumped up, warming the room. The wood burnt but never needed to be replaced. As he sat there he occasionally stared at Lily's door, hoping that she'd come out so they could talk. They didn't even have to talk, he just wanted someone there with him, but she never came. He thought about going to his mate's dormitory and hanging out there, but he was suddenly exhausted. His eyelids drooped and he stumbled towards his room. He fell asleep the second he collapsed onto his bed.
James' eyes peeked open, he could hardly see a thing. He groggily reached around for his glasses, which must've fell off as he slept. As he put them on the whole world focused around him.
"Bloody hell!" James shouted. He practically jumped three feet in the air.
"What are you on about?" mumbled Lily Evans as she slept beside him. Her ginger hair a tangled mess. What was she doing in his room?
"Wake up," James said. He was alarmed that she was in his room, yet also flattered. James then went on, "Lily, c'mon get up. We have classes today and you have some explaining to do." Her eyes opened quickly at his words.
"Jesus Christ James! Why are you in my bed?" she asked horrified.
"Um Lily, we're in my room."
"Not funny. We may have snogged yesterday, but that doesn't give you an excuse to sleep in my bed. So get out!" Lily told him. She glared at him in a way that made him listen. He looked around the room and realized that she was right: this wasn't his room. Everything was identical except her bathroom was on the left of the door rather than the right and her painting was different. Also the fact that her trunk was here was different.
"This isn't my room," he gathered.
"Nope, now please leave," she reiterated.
"Right sorry," he said. He returned to his room with his untouched bed. He looked a his watch, he had ten minutes to get to breakfast. Alright he thought, at least he isn't late. He changed and quickly exited his room to find a disgruntled Lily Evans waiting for him.
"Sorry," James said again. "I was so tired when I was-"
"It's whatever, just not a word to anyone," she told him. James figured that accidentally sleeping in her bed wasn't going to help him in any way. He wanted her to like him, not think he was trying to get in her panties. Get your head out of the gutter, James scolded himself.
"'Course not. Ready for breakfast?" James said with a false cheeriness.
"Yep." Lily exited from behind the tapestry and walked a few steps ahead of him.
"Right so you aren't mad at me, are you?" James asked. Apparantly that wasn't the right thing to say. Who knew?
"What for interrogating me about classified Head information in front of all the 7th year Gryffindors or sleeping in my bed when I asked you to give me space regarding our relationship," Lily asked, her eyes narrowing. James winced. He had forgot that she was mad about the Dumbledore thing. He realized that he could fight her on it, but that also wouldn't help him much. Time to go for the apology route.
"First off, Lily I'm sorry again about the bed thing. I just stumbled into your room, thinking it was mine and I apologise. Secondly about the whole Dumbledore thing, I didn't realize we were keeping a secret about certain things and seeing as I was in the dark I wanted answers. I didn't realize it put you in a sticky situation," James said. Her expression softened a bit.
"I appreciate your apology and I get why you were confused, but we'd do better off to not contradict each other. It doesn't look good," Lily told him. But now that they mentioned the secret meeting again, he was curious.
"Yeah I'm sorry, but how do you know more than me about this meeting?" he wondered. Lily looked down both sides of the empty corridor, before turning back to James. She let out a deep sigh before she began to speak.
"He called a meeting with me last winter- and before you say anything- I swore I wouldn't tell anyone. Now it's fine of course seeing as you are Head Boy and all, but I couldn't say anything any earlier than now. He tasked me with finding trustworthy people. So for the second half of last year that was what I did behind the scenes," Lily explained in a rushed whisper.
"But why? Is he making an army or something?" James joked, but Lily didn't crack a smile. Not even a little.
"That's exactly what I think he's doing. Look around James, the Minister is hardly doing anything. He has his handful of Aurors which are dwindling as time goes on and that's it. You mentioned to me about the Order and I've been researching it. Obviously it's a secret, but people are guessing there's an organization out there fighting him. There's been small articles in the Daily Prophet about Aurors being tipped off about certain battles and Dead Death Eaters turning up apparantly on their own accord," Lily explained, "And on top of that all, didn't you noticed Dumbledore's frequent absenses from meals at the end of last year? I'm guessing he was with the Order and I'm guessing Dumbledore wants to recruit us all after Hogwarts."
"And you think he just trusts some random student to sort through those who are trustworthy and those who aren't?" James asked. He was slightly pissed that Lily had noticed this all and he hadn't and that Dumbledore hadn't trusted him. James, afterall, had known about the Order first.
"I'm not some random student, I'm Head Girl and I was a prefect before that," Lily said. Her eyes narrowed at him, but he wasn't backing down.
"Yeah a Head Girl whose best friend is a Death Eater," James jibed. The world froze for a moment. Lily's expression went blank, her face paled. It was the same look she got when Snape called her a you-know-what.
"Forget I bothered," Lily drawled. She spun on her heels and sped off to breakfast. James cursed under his breath. Why did he keep messing things up? Just when their relationship seemed to have smooth sailing ahead, James sunk the damn ship. He sulked off to breakfast, where Lily sat at the very opposite end of the group. There were so many things he should've said instead of bringing Snape up, such as who were the people she recruited?
"What's up with you and Lily?" Marlene demanded after breakfast. She cornered him so he couldn't escape this one.
"She's mad at me," James said. Marlene scowled.
"I know that, but why is she mad at you? She refuses to tell me," Marlene said. Her scowl deepened.
"Well it probably wouldn't be in the best interest of my health if I told you something she doesn't want you to know," James muttered. He really needed to learn how to stay quiet, otherwise soon enough every girl at Hogwarts would hate him. That wasn't true of course, but every girl that mattered to him would hate him.
"You better figure out how to fix it, because she sure isn't going to be approaching you any time soon," Marlene said before taking off. It wasn't even 10am and both Lily and Marlene were mad at him. He really needed to fix everything.
All day James tried to corner Lily the way Marlene had cornered him, but she was too good at evading him. She'd leave meals early and be the first one out the door during class. By the time he returned to the Head dormitory, she was already locked away in her room. He reckoned that no matter what he did she'd be mad at him, so he might as well take a chance. James decided to stay in the sitting room until Lily left it, because she'd have to leave eventually. And he waited for hours. He looked down at his watch and dinner had passed. Soon enough it would be lights out. So James did something else. He said he was patient but he was done waiting tonight.
"Lily open up please." James knocked on her door. Surprisingly enough she obliged. The door cracked open so James could see barely an centimetre into her room.
"What is it?" she asked. The singular eye that was visible to James through the doorway looked bleary and red. He felt immensely guilty. He made her cry. He was the source of her sadness.
"Can we talk out here for a bit?" James tried to make his voice as gentle as he could.
"I don't think that'd be the best idea," she replied. Fair enough.
"Right, well I'm sorry about what I've said to you the past couple of days. I've really screwed everything up and I swore I wouldn't if you gave me the chance, so I'm sorry. I ignored your letters over the summer, because I was insecure. I thought you'd be better off with Gregor. I accidentally slept in your bed just after you asked for space. I contradicted you over a secret between you and Dumbledore, because I hated not being confided in. I hated that I wasn't seen to be as trustworthy as you and I took it out on you. I acted like a jerk and I said things I didn't mean. I hated how you were backing out of the relationship before it even started. And I'm sorry. I get it that you'd never want to date me ever after what I said and I understand. But please just let me be your friend," James begged. Tears began to gather in his eyes as he begged her to not shut him out. She opened the door all the way.
"James," she spoke softly but a stony face. "I don't hate you. You'll always be my friend and dating is never off the table. Not with us. But you are right. You screwed up. You were a jerk. You're jealous and prideful and you messed up. I'm not just going to pretend that everything you did didn't hurt me, because it did. You were out of line when you brought up Severus and when you said I was just a random student-"
"I know I'm-" James tried to say.
"Let me finish," she interrupted right back. "It all hurt me and I cried and cried for hours. Stemming back from when you started to ignore my letters. But I will accept your apology." James froze. Accept his apology?
"What d'you mean?" he asked. The tears had stopped for both James and Lily.
"I mean that I know you are sorry and I accept your apology. I'm not going to completely forgive you yet, because it hurt me. It hurt a lot. And obviously asking you to give me space will never last," Lily smiled a bit, "and I couldn't ask you to forget that I fancy you until we start dating. So I'm just going to ask you to be my friend for awhile."
"Of course and I'd give you space if that's what you want. I would- wait did you say until we start dating?" James said with a slow realization. He looked over to Lily who was smiling at him again.
"Yeah, I made up my mind. You were right on the train: it's you and me. And you were right that anyone could get hurt now, You-Know-Who is out for anyone like me or anyone who likes people like me. We are all in danger and I might as well get used to it," Lily said. James felt a rush of elation, but Lily's smile fell. "But not yet. Like I said, I haven't forgiven you yet. You were an arse and I'll need some time."
"Yeah anything. I'm still really sorry though. I lost my head and it wasn't right," James went on.
"Stop apologising, okay. And I'll see you tomorrow," Lily said. She began to close the door, but before she closed it all the way she said, "Sleep in your own bed tonight, alright?"
"I'll try," James said with a laugh. He returned to his room, feeling better. Still guilty for being the source of her pain, but better. He hadn't lost everything with her. Not yet.
AN: Ladies and gents that was the one the few of you reading this were waiting for! Whew! Do me a favor and review. Even if you detest my writing altogether then I'd like to know.