Chapter 102: Sanctuary
'How am I supposed to feel good about myself when everything I do is wrong
When I'm just an ugly bitch, a fucking freak, and I don't wanna go on
I don't wanna leave my house cause I know everybody's staring at me now
Why the hell am I alive, is what they think, they wanna take me down'
-Ethel Cain 'Head in the wall.'
It was a beautiful Sunday morning when Becca walked out of the house. She took a sip of her coffee out of her thermal as she walked out onto the farm to start some work. Ellie was with Matty in the stables tending to the horses.
Joel was with Chaos tending to the sheep out in the pasture. They would only have a couple hours before they attended Annette's wedding. She knew Ellie and Joel weren't particularly excited to go, but she wanted them to be apart of the community.
There was a time when no one bothered with Joel and Ellie. They deserved to have a place to belong. She had everything she wanted right here on this farm. It took a lot of convincing on her part, but she managed to get them to go. At least she hoped so anyway.
She had Annette's flowers all ready to go. She had them in a box all ready to go. She decided to hand deliver them herself. Even if she couldn't attend the wedding, she wanted to see the look on her face when she opened the box.
She walked over to the chicken coup to collect some eggs. She opened the gate and walked into it. The chickens started gathering around her, pecking at her boots. She laughed at their eagerness as she spread food around for them. She laughed at their eagerness. They were hungry today.
One of the chickens knocked her down on her ass, causing her to yelp in surprise. She sat there a moment to dust off her overalls.
She laughed to herself and shook her head,'Little shits.'
She heard a deep gruff laughter and looked up to see Joel staring down at her with a smirk on his face. He had his arms braces against the fence. He had a very amused look on his face.
'Chickens kicking your ass this morning, darling?' He walked into the coup and leaned his hand down for her, lifting her head quickly.
'Thanks.' She smiled sheepishly as she fixed the hat on her head,'They're just breakin ya back in is all.' He playfully tugged on her loose braid and kissed her forehead.
She snorted as she looked up at him, rolling her eyes playfully,'How long ya been watching me?'
He placed his hands on her shoulders,'Just long enough to make sure ya didn't hurt yourself.' He grinned,'You named the fucking chickens?'
She looked up at him from under her lashes and smiled sheepishly,'Maybe. They live here too.' She shrugged,'I figured since they share their eggs with us it's only respectful to give them a proper name.'
He laughed as he bent down and picked up the empty food pail and set it aside,'Don't expect me to remember them all.'
She laughed and shook her head,'I wouldn't expect ya to. It's more for me anyway.' She nodded towards town,'You and El should be start getting ready. The ceremony starts in an hour and a half.'
He sighed as he placed his hands on his hips,'Ya know I ain't happy about this, right?' He held his hands up in defense,'I know. Harmony, peace and all that shit.' He narrowed his eyes,'You're my wife. You should be there with me. I'm gonna be bored as shit without ya there. Who am I gonna make fun of people with?'
She smiled wryly and placed her hands on his chest,'I'm sure El will cover those bases.'
He bit back a frown . When Becca went to bed, him and Ellie talked about it the night before. They didn't want to go. They discussed just pretending to go for a couple hours, but they knew word would travel fast. It would be worse to lie to her, but they didn't feel right going without her.
After everything she's done for this town. She deserved to be there too. She was giving them hell left and right about it. They would go to appease her. It didn't mean they had to be happy about it.
He would much rather be home with her and Matty. They once revered her and now they're snubbing their noses. She never let it get her down though. She was content with the people she had in her life.
She leaned up and patted his cheek,'I should go and corral El. Ya know how long she takes to get ready.'
He sighed as he looked over her face,'You're taking all this in stride.' He stroked her cheek,'I don't want ya settling for anything. Ya deserve the world. Ya should feel like you belong.'
She smiled softly at his words. She had been so afraid to tell him about everything that happened in her past. She realized her fears were for naught. If anything, it brought them closer together. They knew everything there is to know about each other and still stuck around. They fell more in love with each other everyday. It wasn't always perfect. They still went to therapy, separately and together. They didn't argue as much, but they still had their disagreements. They weren't perfect, but they talked things out rather than just assuming things. They were actually becoming real grownups.
She patted his chest gently and leaned up to kiss him,'I do feel like I belong. To the people that matter.' She shrugged,'I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks. So I don't get to attend Annette's wedding. Who the hell cares? Maybe a few years I would've gave a damn, but I don't let shit like that get to me anymore. I have more than enough in my life to fulfill me.'
He held her face in his hands as he stroked her cheeks,'Then why is it so important to ya for me to go?'
She toyed with the collar of his coat,'Our children are growing up here. One day, Matty is gonna grow up and become a full fledge member of Jackson. I…want to make sure he has a secure future here when I'm dead and gone. I never want him to feel like he doesn't belong anywhere.'
He sighed and shook his head,'That ain't gonna happen. I want him to forge his own path though. The farm is his and El's if they want it, but it doesn't have to be their obligation . They may wanna venture out. It could be a completely different world when we're gone.'
She grinned as she kissed him again,'Joel Miller. Such an optimist.'
He smirked as he placed his hands on her hips, leaning down and whispering,'Don't tell anyone. I'm the pessimistic asshole around here, remember?'
He wanted to tell her she gave him hope, but he didn't want to be that much of a sap. Being with her, he looked at the world differently. He actually planned out a future. He went to his check ups and his AA meetings. He made sure to take his medicines. He worked out, ate healthy and took care of himself. He wanted to keep his body moving for as long as possible. He had a two year old son to keep up with. He made him feel very old and very young at times.
Becca reluctantly pulled away from him and laughed when he grabbed her hand, playfully tugging her back to him. He pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist. He bent down and nuzzled into her neck, breathing in the scent of her fresh skin.
He closed his eyes and sighed, his hot breath fleshing goosebumps out upon her skin,'You should be with me today. My beautiful wife. What am I gonna do there without ya? I'll die.'
She laughed as she leaned back against him,'So dramatic. I thought you had a reputation to uphold.'
He huffed as he kissed the back of her neck, whispering,'I ain't gonna see ya all day. I wanna get my fill. I don't give a goddamned about anyone else.'
She smiled softly as he nuzzled into the back of her neck. His beard scratched against her skin and she shivered slightly. He made her feel loved and cherished. No man ever made her feel like this.
They stayed like that for a few minutes before they reluctantly parted. Becca went to the stables to scoop up Ellie to get ready for the wedding. Joel begrudgingly walked back to the house to get showered and changed. He wasn't excited in the least. He was angry and bitter. The worst part is he would have to be sober.
He stood in front of the mirror and in their bedroom and fixed his bow tie. He hated wearing suits. He felt uncomfortable and not like himself. It was a Sunday. He was supposed to be relaxing today.
Becca helped Ellie get ready. She decided on wearing a suit herself. Betsy didn't bat an eye when she asked for a suit rather than a dress. She just set about getting her measurements and got right to work. She didn't judge anyone.
She stood in the doorway of their bedroom and stared at him. He was standing in front of the mirror. The black suit he wore was tailored perfectly to his body. His hair was neatly parted to the side. She loved he still kept his hair long. He looked devastatingly handsome. All the wind left her body. He didn't shave and she thought it made him look even more attractive.
She whistled lowly as she leaned her shoulder against the doorframe,'On second thought, maybe you shouldn't be going to this wedding.' She smirked as she walked over to him and fixed his bow tie,'I don't want some of these ladies getting the wrong idea.'
He grinned and he placed his hands on her waist,'Say the word and I'll take it off and stay home.'
'As much as I would love that.' She gave him a small smile,'It honestly doesn't bother me. I've plenty to do around here.'
He frowned and pulled her closer to him,'I want you to relax too. It's Sunday.'
She nodded and smiled softly,'I know, but I wanted to get some more seeds planted in the garden before it starts getting warmer.'
Ellie's impatient calls from downstairs was his signal to leave. He took her hand and sighed deeply,'Let's get this the hell over with.'
She waved them off as they walked into town, not wanting to get their clothes all rumpled up. She waited until their figures disappeared around the trail before she went back inside to change. She smiled to herself. She had a very important errand to run.
She smoothed her hands down the dress as she stood in front of the mirror. It was the dress Betsy made for Annette's wedding. Even though she wasn't attending, she gave her the dress anyway. She said she could always use it for another occasion. She thought it was too beautiful not to wear.
It was a pale pink spaghetti strapped dress that fell all the way down to her feet. She felt so pretty in it. She never had pretty dresses like this growing up. Her daddy frowned upon bright colors. She could only wear white and nothing revealing.
She didn't wear any makeup and kept her hair down. She wore her cowboy boots so she could ride. She didn't plan on staying very long. Just enough time to drop the flowers off for the lovely bride.
She looked back at Matty sitting on the bed and smiled,'You think mama's crazy for doing this?'
Matty giggled in response and she laughed. She knew he had no clue what she was talking about. She's never had anybody look at her the way he does. Her son looks at her with so much love and adoration, like she hung the moon. She never thought she would ever be deserving of that kind of love. In her son's eyes she was perfect. For now anyway. She's sure he'll change his tune once he's older.
She picked him up and gave him a big kiss on his cheek,'Someone needs to save your daddy and sister from those boring ass people.'
When Joel and Ellie left for the wedding, she set her plan in motion. It wasn't anything crazy, but her daddy used to say if someone strikes you to hit them twice as hard. She refused to be a pushover anymore. She wanted to raise her children in this town. She wanted to live in peace. Maybe they would finally leave her alone today.
She picked up Matty and carried him outside. She placed him securely in the saddle, making sure he was belted in. Joel had made Matty his own saddle. He was already on a pony. He would probably be riding before he even started walking.
She carefully placed Annette's flowers on the back of the saddle, smiling to herself. She couldn't wait to see her face when she saw the beautiful flowers she picked just for her.
She felt a sense of purpose as she rode down the trail. She wasn't angry in the slightest. Not anymore. She was…determined.
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Joel had his hands shoved in his pockets as he watched the newly married couple walk out of the church house. Everyone threw rice and cheered and clapped for them. He sneered in disgust. He shouldn't be here. He should be home with his wife and son. He didn't feel comfortable sitting in the church. He knew Ellie wasn't a fan either.
He glared at Will and Annette. It took everything in him not to take his pistol out and blow their brains out. He doesn't feel rage like this often anymore. Only when it was warranted. He would scorch the earth if he thought someone made her unhappy.
She said to appease them. They went back and forth on the topic. She wasn't backing down. He didn't want to fight with her so he reluctantly went. He only planned to stay at the reception for an hour or so hefore heading back home. He planned to spend the rest of the day with his woman. He wanted to dance with her all over the fucking house with the windows opened.
Joel thought back to their wedding a few years ago. While it meant the world to him. He knew she wanted more. She didn't want to be hidden away like some dirty little secret. She deserved to be married in front of everyone. He made a silent vow to himself to make it right. He wanted to reaffirm his vows to her. He didn't give a goddamned who came. As long as she was there.
Maria noticed the uneasiness on his face. She also saw his jaw clenched in anger. She felt the tightening in her chest. He looked so much like Tommy in that moment. It hurt to look at him.
Even though Tommy betrayed them, he was still the father of her child and husband. She will always love him. She just had trouble reconciling if everything was pretend or if some of it was real. It couldn't have all been lies.
She sighed as she placed her hand on his back, whispering,'You okay? You look like you wanna bolt.'
'It's cause I do.' He snorted and crossed his arms over his chest,'She's sitting back at the ranch by herself while everyone is here.' He sighed and shook his head,'She made me promise to make nice. She said it'll be better for the kids.'
His words were low enough so only she could hear.
She pretended to consider this and shrugged,'What about it being better for her?'
Joel's heart clenched. Maria never made it easy on him. He didn't expect her to. She was Becca's sister. They've been through so much together. The two of them shared a deep bond and did a lot for each other. They even got matching tattoos together.
He appreciate Maria looking out for Becca. They were both strong capable women who had each other's backs. Much like him and Tommy used to.
He looked over at Ellie who was standing with Abby. Him and his daughter shared a knowing look. Ellie rolled her eyes. She obviously didn't want to be here either. They would have to figure out how to make a break for it. This was a time in his life he wished he wasn't sober.
Joel turned to Maria and pursed his lips,'If this is your way of calling me an asshole. Ya ain't gotta do that. I already feel like one.' He shook his head and sighed,'I gotta learn how to start saying 'no' to that woman.'
Maria laughed and shook her head, patting him on his back,'Good luck with that one.' She smiled shyly when her date, Richard waved her over,'I'll see you at the reception.'
He nodded silently as he watched her walk over to Richard. He took her hand in his as they walked to the reception. He was happy Maria found someone after Tommy's death. Everyone deserved to be happy. No one should be alone.
He liked Richard. He was a good man. A hard worker. He would be good to Maria. He missed Tommy everyday. That'll never change. Just because he went off the rails doesn't change the fact he loved him. It was his brother. He wasn't like this before the outbreak. Neither of them were. He just wondered when in the hell he became such a pushover.
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Becca dismounted her horse and carefully took Matty out of his saddle. She picked up the box of flowers, a wide smile on her face. As much as it pained her to let her babies go, it was for a good cause. She didn't think Annette would appreciate them as half as much as she did.
She balanced Matty on her hips as she carried the box in her other hand. She sighed as she looked down at her son,'You're getting too big for mama to carry.'
Matty babbled in response and she laughed. At least someone was enjoying himself. She thought about if it was a good idea to bring Matty along, but she decided it would be. He needed to see his mama standing up for herself. She refused to be a bystander in her own life anymore. Joel was right. They would never stop. She couldn't let them win. She's been through so much shit in her life. She can handle a few petty cunts.
She should've brought the flowers earlier, but she had been debating if she should even come or not. She saw everyone making their way to the reception. She smiled when she saw Maria and Rich walking hand in hand. She bit back a frown when she saw Ellie and Abby holding hands. Ellie looked so cool in her pale blue suit that matched Abby's dress. They looked like quite the pair.
She stared at Abby pensively. Something didn't feel right about that girl. She didn't trust her. She couldn't help but feel like she had ulterior motives. Maybe she was just being overprotective, but she trusted her instincts. She hoped this was one instance she was wrong. Ellie opened up to her and seemed to really care about her. When Lizzie died, it was like she lost a part of herself, but she was slowly but surely regaining her sense of self back. She was so proud of her. She only hoped Abby didn't take that away from her.
Her heart stuttered in her chest when she saw Joel. He was walking along with Betsy and Am. She smiled to herself when she saw Betsy's arm tucked into Joel's. She was like a mother figure to them both. She was so happy Matty had Betsy in his life.
He looked damned handsome in his suit. She knew the other women probably thought so too. She smirked to herself. Let them look. They were too boring for him anyway.
She took a deep breath to gather her nerves, whispering to Matty,'Here goes nothing, kiddo.'
Joel's eyes widened when he saw Becca walking into the reception with Matty on her hip and holding a box in the other hand. He cursed inwardly. He forgot to bring the fucking flowers. He didn't like the fact she came all this way, considering the fact she wasn't even invited. She was too nice sometimes. She gave people too much grace.
His breath hitched in his throat when he saw her dress. It was a pale pink, a color he's never seen on her before. It was spaghetti strapped and flowing, reaching all the way down to her feet. The front of the dress was low cut, revealing her scars. He loved she wasn't afraid to show them. It's apart of her story and shows she's alive and survived.
Her hair was down, messy and wild. She didn't wear a stitch of makeup. He smirked when he saw she was wearing her cowboy boots. She didn't seem like she went all out. She had a determined look on her face. She was so beautiful to him, like something wild and untamed. He wanted her as she is. Past and all. She's the strongest woman he's ever known. She's also the first woman he's ever been in love with. There wasn't any use denying it.
Betsy followed his gaze and her eyes widened,'What's Becca doing here?' She smiled brightly,'She's wearing the dress I made for the reception. Isn't it beautiful?'
His felt the lump rising in his throat at that. She had a dress made for the wedding. She had been excited to come. He looked over at Annette and Amelia, laughing and looking happy as ever. Fuck them for leaving her out. She was too good for these fucks anyway.
Joel was already making his way over to her. She looked up at her husband and gave him a small smile,'I'm not staying long. I just wanted to drop off the flowers.'
'I woulda let them rot.' He sneered,'You're too nice sometimes.'
She didn't respond to her husband's remarks. He would learn soon enough. She was done playing games with people. She didn't take anyone's shit before the outbreak. She wasn't about to start now.
She handed Matty over to Joel and smiled softly,'Keep an eye on him for me.'
He snickered as he kissed Matty's temple,'Ya don't gotta tell me to keep an eye on my own son, baby girl.'
She heard the amusement in his tone. They weren't quick to anger anymore. Through therapy, they've learned to communicate rather than shoving their issues aside. They were stronger than ever. God help anyone who stood in their way.
Becca walked over to Annette and Amelia,'Hi, ladies.' She lifted the box in front of her face,'I'm so sorry about the flowers for the reception.' She sighed exasperatingly,'Ya know, so much to do at the farm. I'm so happy you uninvited me.' She narrowed her eyes,'I got a lot accomplished.'
Joel averted his eyes to Matty and grinned,'Mama don't play games.' He patted his back,'You probably figured that out already though.
Annette's eyes widened and she clapped her hands excitedly,'Thank you so much. Better late than never.'
Becca smiled as brightly as she could and opened the box. She dumped the flowers at Annette's feet. The bride stared down at the pink gardenias. Every single bloom was cut off the stem, leaving them in a complete mess. It broke her heart to kill them like that, but the horrified look on Annette's face was worth it.
Annette bent down and picked up the gardenia blooms in her hands. They were her favorite flower. She wanted them all over the reception.
She looked up at Becca and shook her head confusingly as tears filled her eyes,'Why did you do that? You ruined everything.'
Becca's eyes widened incredulously,'This is the most important day of your life and all you care about is flowers?' She looked over at Will, who had a confused look on his face,'You picked a real winner there, bub.'
Joel's eyes crinkled in amusement and held back his laughter. He couldn't help himself. It was fucking funny. He didn't know what to expect when he saw his wife, but she didn't seem angry or sad. Just determined.
Will walked towards the women to handle the situation. Joel's eyes narrowed. He understood this was his wedding, but Becca was also his wife. He takes things personally when it comes to her.
Will stood in between the women and averted his eyes between them,'What's going on?'
'She ruined our wedding.' Annette streaked,'The gardenias are ruined. Look at them.'
Will looked down at the cut up flowers. She turned to Joel, whom he considered to be his friend. Judging by the look on Joel's face as he was walking over to them, Becca was the least of his worries. It's one of the reasons why he pleaded with Annette to let her come. She deserved to be here too, but she never backed down. She said she didn't want a religious cult member freaking out in the middle of the church house.
Joel handed Matty over to Betsy and made his way over to them. He knew Will wasn't a confrontational man, but Annette was his wife too. Of course he would protect her.
Annette looked up at Becca with tears in her eyes as she frowned,'Why would you come to my wedding and do this?'
Becca let out a deep sigh and placed her hands on her hips, making sure to stare her directly into the eyes,'I'm done laying down for all of you. I fought for this town just as fiercely as anyone else. I want Jackson kept safe. I made a lot of great memories here. I won't have you or anyone else take that away from me.' Her voice was crackling with emotion, but she wouldn't cry in front of these people,'I'm tired of feeling ashamed for things I can't control. I'm tired of being afraid if this is the day you're gonna decide to hang me.'
Joel's eyes widened at that. He knew she still held onto those fears. They will probably always be there. He still held the same fears as well, but they didn't have to go through it alone anymore. They had each other.
'I'm done being afraid. She kept her head held up high and defiant,'I'm done always caring about what you all think. You came to my place of work and disrespected me. In front of my child no less. You don't get to do that.'
She was eerily calm and steady in her words, making them understand she wasn't fucking around with them anymore. She was through with dreading to come into town. She was dons trying to atone for her sins. There's nothing she can do.
It's all been done.
Will looked over at Joel who appeared at Becca's side,'Can you try keeping your wife in line?'
Becca's eyes widened as Joel started busted out laughing. She didn't understand him sometimes.
'I won't held it against ya cause you're a newlywed and all, but I don't keep my wife in line.' He gave Annette and Will a pointed stare,'She can do whatever the hell she wants. Especially when she's been wronged.' He sighed and took Becca's hand,'You ready to go?'
'Yeah.' She nodded as she kept staring at Annette,'I've said all I needed to.'
Ellie took Matty out of Betsy's arms and walked over to her parents,'Are we going home?' She sighed in relief,'Thank God. It was a dry wedding.'
Abby followed close behind her. Becca noticed she was always by her side. She didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.
Joel and Becca smirked at that. He nodded as he held onto Becca's gaze,'Let's go home and have some real fun.'
Becca saw the mischievous look in his eyes, which could mean anything.
She nodded and smiled softly,'I would love that.'
Betsy and Am walked over to them in solidarity,'I think I'm about ready to leave as well.' She looked up at her son,'What about you?'
Am faked a yawn and patted his mouth,'Yeah, I'm about ready to go myself.'
Maria and Richard walked over to them. Maria kept her gaze locked on Becca's,'We are too.'
She smiled tearfully. It meant so much to her friends were sticking by her like this. She was grateful for Betsy. She sacrificed her reputation in this town, but she was the only seamstress in Jackson. She was also very good at it. She was beloved and they couldn't afford to lose her.
Joel couldn't help but feel pride in this moment. The people that were standing with them right now, it's all he cared about. He couldn't give a damn about anyone else.
Annette huffed and placed her hands on her hips, staring up at him incredulously,'Aren't you going to do anything?'
Will opened his mouth to say something, but all that came air was air.
Joel narrowed his eyes and smirked,'Word of advice. Don't ever ask to keep any woman in line. You're just asking them for trouble.'
Becca narrowed her eyes at Annette and sighed,'Hopefully, I'll be invited to your next wedding.'
Becca looked around at all the townsfolk. She delivered some of their children. She saved some of their lives and patched them up. She didn't ask for anything in return. Joel was right. She paid her dues in this town. She didn't owe anybody a damned thing.
She took a deep breath and let go of Joel's hand,'I don't care what you say about me. None of you know me. Y'all forget everything I've done and never asked for anything in return. For years, I gave my entire soul to this town because I felt like I owed you my life. I don't owe a goddamned thing to anyone.' She made sure to make eye contact with as much townsfolk as she could,'I'm not going anywhere. I laid down roots here. My daughter works in this town. My husband works tirelessly for you day after day while working our farm. He doesn't even ask for anything in return. How dare y'all put him in this position?'
Joel swallowed the lump in his throat. He's never had anyone fiercely defend him like this. She wasn't crying. Her voice was clear and concise. She wasn't letting anyone else control her life. He's never been more proud of her. He's never loved her more.
She didn't expect an answer out of them. She didn't know what she was expecting. Nothing at all really.
He placed his hand on his wife's back, whispering,'Come on, darlin. Let's go home. You don't owe them anything.'
Becca's eyes squinted at some of her former friends,'Yeah, you're right. I don't.'
He kept his hand on her back as he led her out of the reception. Once she was out view from the wedding guests, she covered her face with her hands and sighed into them. She couldn't believe she did that. She didn't feel guilty about it. She wanted them to know they weren't going to chase her outta town.
As if sensing her uneasiness he tightly wrapped his arms around her, pulling him close to his chest. He rested his chin on top of her head, whispering,'That was a badass thing ya just did. I'm proud of ya.'
'I couldn't help it.' She sighed into his chest,'I just kept thinking about what she said over and over again. She still had the audacity to ask for my flowers. As if she's worthy of them.'
He smirked as he stroked her hair,'You killed them to make a point.'
'I know.' She frowned,'That was the worst part.' She shook her head,'If I just sit back and let them treat me anyway they want to, they'll keep winning. What kind of an example would I be setting for our children?'
He bent down and kissed her forehead as he rubbed her back,'I'm so fuckin proud of ya, darlin. I ain't wanted to come without ya. Neither did El. It didn't feel right. You're a hell of a lot nicer than I woulda been that's for damned sure.'
Betsy walked over to them with Matty in her arms. She handed the baby over to Joel as she hugged Becca tightly,'Good for standing up for yourself. Maybe they'll think twice about being an asshole.'
Joel snickered and rolled his eyes,'I don't think they know any other way to be.'
Becca looked over at Maria, who was walking over to them with a grin on her face. Maria snapped her fingers and brought her into a hug,'It's about damned time someone put that woman in her place.' She held her friend's face in her hands,'You did a good standing up for yourself. Maybe now they'll think twice about fuckin with ya.'
'Seriously.' Ellie nodded,'It was so funny. I can't believe you cut up your flowers like that though.'
Becca looked back at the reception, which seemed to be moving on without them,'It was worth it just to see the look on her face.' She shook her head and sighed,'I hoped that I didn't make things difficult for ya here.'
Betsy and Maria laughed at that. They were two of the founding members of this town. They weren't worried about anything. They'll learn to deal.
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Everyone headed back to the farm for lunch. They hung out for a little bit before Ellie and Abby decided to head into town to meet their friends. She promised to be back home at midnight though. They were happy to have her back home.
Becca was getting the dry clothes on the line. It was a sunny and warm day. Joel was tending to the horses in the stables, letting Matty tag along. Before they knew it; he would be helping out with the chores.
Joel was letting Matty tumble around in the grass as they made their way over to his mama. He lowered the brim of his cowboy hat, soaking her in. He loved watching her sometimes. She was so unguarded in this moment. The dress she wore billowed in the wind. The sun making the thin material of the dress almost see through. He could see her pert nipples and licked his lips. He hoped Matty would take a nap soon. He wanted to suck her tits over her dress. He knew she wasn't wearing a bra either.
She said Betsy made her the dress for Annette's wedding. The dress was so beautiful on her. He couldn't take his hands off her all day.
He knew all there is to know about her and still wanted her. She knew everything about him. Yet, they still stuck around.
If Matty was taking his nap, he would've been deep inside her right now. He would bend her over his work table, hike up that dress fuck her senseless. He would take her in the middle of the afternoon out in the open. Everyone was still at Annette's reception, probably partying up and having a good time. He was enjoying the hell out of himself here. There was no place he'd rather be.
He pressed open mouthed kisses on the back of her neck, his tongue flicking out to taste the sweat of her skin. Her eyelids fluttered as she leaned back against him. She was so grateful he still wanted her after learning about her life before the outbreak. It seemed as if they got closer. They couldn't keep their hands off each other. It wasn't just sexual. They craved that tangible intimacy.
He fell deeper in love with her everyday. He traced the tattoo along her bare shoulder. It was of an intricate vine. The green colors were vivid. She said each tattoo meant something to her. She planned to get their children's names tattooed on her. He thought it would look damned beautiful.
She smiled softly when she felt a strong arm wrap around her waist from behind. He nuzzled into her neck, whispering,'I thought they were never gonna leave.'
She closed her eyes and sighed in content,'Are you finished working?'
He smirked against her skin as he rubbed her sides,'Just got done. Don't have a damned thing else to do.'
'Hmm.' She murmured,'Are ya sure about that?'
He growled softly as he ran his hands under her dress, gripping her bare thighs. He could hear her ragged breath and he reminded himself that Matty wasn't far behind, but there was nothing wrong with holding each other like this. Nothing they ever do is wrong.
'Ya got me all fucked up.' He gently ran his nails down her thighs, whispering,'Seeing ya go off on that cunt in this dress. Ya got a smart mouth, baby.'
'I don't like people telling me what I can't do.' She shook her head,'I'm tired of people mistaking kindness for weakness. This is all gonna be Ellie and Matty's one day. I never want them to pay for our past mistakes.'
'And they won't.' He rubbed her arms,'They don't have a damned thing to be ashamed about it and neither do we.'
He bent down and picked up the basket of dry clothes for her. He carried them into the house and helped her fold them.
They tried to put Matty down for a nap, but he was being too fussy. He was getting to his rebellious age and didn't want to sleep. At least he would fall asleep early tonight. At least they hoped so anyway.
Joel made dinner and Becca did the dishes. Thankfully, Matty went down right after his bath.
Becca was enjoying a glass of red wine as she sat on the steps of the porch, listening to Joel play music on his guitar. She closed her eyes as she leaned back against the wall, reveling in his playing. She always loved listening to his music. It made her feel content.
Ellie was almost as good as him. She remembered how awful she was in the beginning, but with a little time and patience she became an efficient player. She loved listening to them play together. It's been a long time. She would have to rectify that.
She took a sip of wine and looked up at him dazedly, feelinf a buzz off her second glass of wine. She smiled lazily as he strummed the guitar, his eyes never leaving hers.
He leaned back on the bench and spread his legs out, gently patting his thigh,'You're sitting too far away.'
She grinned as she got up from the step and walked over to him. He leaned further back and spread himself out, giving her enough space. She sat on his one leg as he perched his guitar in the other.
He started strumming it again as he kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger against her skin. Her skin fleshed out in goosebumps as his rough beard scratched against her skin. He was freshly showered. His long hair brushed back. She ran her hands through it, taking her nails through the curls at the nape of his neck.
He languished in her touch, practically humming as her nails gently scratched at his scalp. He loved the way she touched him, like he mattered and was the most important person in the world.
She leaned over him and placed her empty wine glass on the side table. The warm breeze felt good upon her skin. She could smell his cedar wood soap and something musky. Uniquely him. She could get lost in his scent forever.
He trailed kisses along her shoulder as he nuzzled into her skin, the strumming of his guitar reverberating throughout her body. She loved this man with every fiber of her being.
He looked down at her, seeing the cross on her chain gleaming. She's taken to wearing it everyday. He asked her she decided to start wearing it after all these years. She said it gave her comfort. She's always had faith. She was just too afraid to put a name on it. Religion and God are ingrained in her being. It's something she'll never be able to escape. She's come to realization her problem isn't with God. It was her upbringing.
She fiddled with the chain around her neck as he continued to play,'I've been thinking about what ya said. Heading to Silver Lake in the Summer.' She nodded,'I spoke to Peter about it and he thinks it's a great idea. For me to get some closure.'
'It won't take us that long in the Summer. Betsy said she wouldn't mind watching Matty.' He carefully put his guitar down and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back against him,'I ain't letting ya go alone.'
She laughed and leaned up to nuzzle into his neck,'I wouldn't expect anything less. I want you to come with me. I wouldn't want to do it without you.' She frowned,'It's gonna be weird going back there, but I have a feeling some of David's disciples are still lingering around there. They…weren't all bad people. They were like everyone else, just trying to make the best of a bad situation. I wanna burn that town down into the ground.'
He rubbed her stomach as she settled further into his lap,'We'll go in June. That gives us a couple months to plan.'
'Thank you.' She tangled her hands in his that were splayed out on her stomach,'For everything. Thank you.'
'I love you.' He said it without any hesitation. Not anymore,'I meant what I said. I ain't ever leaving your side again.'
He untangled his hands from hers and caressed her sides. He smirked to himself when he realized she wasn't wearing anything underneath her tank top. He murmured something under his breath she couldn't quite make out.
'Beautiful.' He whispered against her skin, almost as if he were answering her question,'Everything about ya is beautiful.'
She smiled softly at his words and placed her hands on his thighs. Even through his jogging pants she could still feel the heat of his skin. She loved lying close to him at night. His body would warm her up in the chilly bedroom. His beard would scorch her skin as his rough working hands would explore any part of her body he could.
She leaned up to press open mouthed kisses along the length of his jaw, making him shudder in her lap. She pressed her back against his chest as he slid his hands underneath her tank top.
She shivered when he gently sucked and bit into her neck, no doubt leaving love bites. She wouldn't hide them though. She wanted everyone in Jackson to see what they meant to each other. Even though they didn't have anything to prove to anyone. She loved he wasn't holding back with her anymore. He wasn't afraid to show his desire for her. Nothing felt wrong when it was between the two of them.
She ground her ass into his crotch, making him hiss and let out a guttural groan. His tongue traced the length of her tattoo on her shoulder. When he first met, she had a few, but she's added a few to them. Ellie even designed some of them for her.
His fingers traced the tattoo on her left clavicle. It was Matty and Ellie's name in small cursive. He'll never forget the look on Ellie's face when she saw the tattoo. It meant so much to her. They may have not been related by blood, but they were just as close as a mother and daughter could get.
He hooked his fingers in the straps of her tank top and pulled it down, giving him better access to her bare shoulders. She moved around in his lap, moaning softly as his teeth gently grazed her skin. He groaned into her skin when he felt the heat of her crotch rubbing against his hard dick. Even through his sweatpants he could feel her. He knew she always got so wet for him.
He slid his hand down the front of her body, slowly inching his way down her panties. They both let out a sharp intake of breath as his index finger dipped inside her. She was so wet, he slid in so easily. He couldn't wait to have her cunt wrapped around his thick cock. It's all he thought about all day.
He used to think his infatuation with her was a sickness, but there wasn't anything perverted about it. He loved this woman and wanted to show her in every way he knew how.
Joel slid a second finger inside her, making her gasp. Her body arched back against him as his long fingers slid in and out of her easily. He could hear the slick sounds of his fingers easily sliding in and out of her. He pressed his palm against her clit, causing her entire body to shudder.
He smiled against her skin. He loved seeing her let go like this. For no one else but him. She's the only person who's ever made him feel special.
She was grinding his lap, making his cock ache and throb for her. His cock was leaking precum and he knew he wouldn't last long if she kept moving on him like that. He spent too many nights coming in his pants because of her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life coming deep inside her. To feel her burn him from the inside out.
She bit her bottom lip to stifle her gasp as his fingers curled deep inside her. She murmured something under her breath as she tightly gripped his knees. He clenched his teeth when she dug her nails into his sweatpants, but it only seemed to make him harder.
Becca buried her face into his neck and whimpered as he fingered her slow and steady. She pushed back against him, silently demanding more, but not knowing what she actually wanted.
'Tell me, baby girl.' He whispered as he gently bit into her shoulder,'I wanna hear ya say it.'
She moaned at his words, her mouth pressing kisses against his skin. She was encapsulated by his scent, his capable hands making her feel so good and safe. Her only regret is they didn't have more time on this Earth to love each other.
'I wanna feel ya inside me.' Her deep Southern drawl drenched with arousal did him in. He wouldn't deny her of anything.
She kept her back facing him as he rose his hips up slightly to pull his cock out of his sweatpants. She looked down at his heavy cock in his hands. Her eyes watched in fascination as he stroked his hard and leaking cock. He was the only taste she's ever wanted.
She sat up quickly to remove hedges shorts, but he was already on it. He hooked his fingers in the waistband of her shorts and pulled them down to her knees. The chill of the night air hit her bare pussy, but the heat emanating from him kept her warm.
Her cheeks flushed red as she felt moving behind her. She bit her bottom lip when he slid his thick cock between her folds, getting him nice and wet for her. Her pussy was throbbing in anticipation of being inside her. He felt like a madman for her sometimes. His desire for her was never quelled. If anything, it's gotten even worse. He finally understood it. He loved her. He's always gonna want her.
'Please, baby.' Becca whispered raggedly,'Get inside me. I need it. Want ya so bad.'
Her pleading did him in. A few years ago, she wouldn't been too shy to tell him what she wanted. She wasn't afraid to ask anymore.
He positioned his cock at her entrance and slid herself with one full stroke. They both gasped aloud at the intrusion. His eyes widened as she slammed herself down onto his cock, silently telling him what she needed.
Joel gripped her hips as he thrust up into her. She bucked in his lap, causing him to let out a shudder. Even in the gelid air, their bodies broke out into a sweat. He wrapped his arms around her and she tightly gripped his forearms to steady herself.
She pushed back against him as he kept thrusting up inside her. The bench creaked underneath their weight, but he built it himself. It'll hold them. He may have had this in mind while building it. He loved she was so open with him. There weren't any reservations. She was a wild one, much like himself. They would've been bored with any other partner.
They met each other's thrusts. She was soaked for him. Her juices were dripping down her inner thighs. She was so wet he almost slid out of her. Even now, it floored him he could get her this turned on. It made an old man feel really good about himself.
He slid his hands underneath her tank top to grope her tits. She bit back a moan as she felt his rough and calloused worker hands tugging on her nipples. She dragged her teeth across her bottom lip, whimpering as she felt the tip of his cock at the entrance of her womb.
She turned her head around to cup the back of his neck, kissing him hungrily. He moaned into her mouth, their kisses a flurry of tongues and teeth. She sucked his tongue into her mouth, making his cock pulse inside her.
'Harder.' She mumbled against his lips,'Fuck me harder.'
Joel's eyes widened as he looked over her, shaking his head in disbelief. Where did this woman come from? He always knew it was lurking inside her. He felt it a fucking privilege. He's the only one who saw this side of her.
He slid his hands down to her hips and gripped them tightly. He slammed her down onto his cock, not giving her any room to move. She asked for it hard and that's what he's gonna give her.
He stood up, his sweatpants falling down to his ankles and he quickly kicked them off, leaving himself in only his t shirt. The chilly air felt good on his hot skin as he gently pushed her against the banister. He knew it could take their weight. He built it himself with it in mind. He wasn't kidding about taking her in every part of the house.
He never disconnected himself from her body as he wrapped his strong arms around her waist to keep her upright. She held onto the banister for dear life as he fucked her hard and fast. His hot breath was ragged in her ear as he pounded inside her.
She clenched her eyes shut as he started rubbing her clit. She tried to move back against him, but he kept his one arm wrapped tight around her. He wasn't letting her go anywhere. Never again.
She could feel the telltale signs creeping up her spine. His thrusts were hitting her G spot and his was rubbing her clit just right, exactly as she liked it. He always knew her body better than anybody else.
He pressed her against the railing as the thrusts of his hips made her feet lift up from the floor. He peered her over shoulder to see any signs of displeasure, but there weren't any. Just pure love and desire.
He winced as he felt her walls clamping around his cock like a vice. He could tell by the breathy moans she was making that she was about to cum. He pressed on her clit, rubbing it furiously as he chased his own orgasm.
Becca hunched forward with the strength of her orgasm. She was whimpering and practically sobbing as tears of pleasure fell down her cheeks. He kept mercilessly pounding into her unrelenting. She's getting what she asked for.
She looked back at him over her shoulder. His long hair was curling at the nape of his neck, his jaw slack with pleasure. He was giving his all to her. Figuratively and literally.
His eyes met hers and she almost passed out by the intensity of it.
No man has ever looked at her like this before. Admiration, reverence and all. This was her person.
He was grunting and moaning as he pushed himself through the exertion. His thighs brined and ached as he lower his hips to get even deeper inside her. He bit his bottom lip hard, tasting blood as he pulled her harshly back against his hips. He couldn't remember the last time he's fucked like this.
She grabbed his hand that was on her waist and brought it up to cover her mouth. He watched in awe as she bit into his palm, her screams of pleasure muffled by his hand. His inner thighs were covered in her slick as she came apart for him.
He remembered when he tried to cover her mouth before. They were being intimate in the shower. He did it without thought and spooked her. She's come such a long way. He was so proud of her.
His hips stilled as he followed close behind her. She gasped as she felt his hot seed spurt into her pussy, burning her from the inside out. She liked sex until met him. She considered it a chore, but she wanted to explore everything with him. Befoee she leaves this Earth, she wants to know what true pleasure feels like with someone who loves her.
He rested his hands on the banister, his arms caging her in. She leaned up and kissed him languidly. They took their time savoring each other as they came from their intense highs.
He ran his hands all over her body as he let himself catch his breath. He was thankful Ellie didn't come home in this moment. They would never hear the end of it, but he didn't feel ashamed. She didn't either. For the first time in their lives they had freedom.
They stood there for a few moments, relishing in the afterglow and savoring these quiet moments together. They were so far in between.
He ripped his t shirt over his head and silently wiped in between her legs, cleaning her off. She felt goosebumps flesh upon her skin at that. It was such an intimate gesture. She bit the bottom of her lip to stifle a sigh.
Is this what she's been missing her whole life?
Joel slowly slid her short back up and he quickly cleaned himself off, putting his pants back on.
He scooped her up in his arms and she laughed softly as he carried her up to bed. Matty was sound asleep in his crib as he carried her to their room. He carefully set her down on the bed and climbed in next to her.
He pulled the covers up over them and wrapping his arms around her tightly. He smiled when she rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around his midsection.
Pure bliss.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Joel sighed as he climbed down his ladder. The only ladders he'll be standing on nowadays is his own. He finally finished repairing the roof. There was nothing else for him to do.
For almost a decade, he dedicated his entire life trying to make up all the things Jackson had given him. He's come to realize he could spend the rest of his life toiling away and it'll never be enough. He wasn't going to die trying. He had a lot to live for nowadays.
'Excuse me, Mr. Miller?' He heard a familiar voice. He didn't even have to turn around. He chuckled softly,'What I tell ya about that, Abby? I ain't my father.'
He said without malice, but deep down and inside it resonated true to him. While his father was a good provider; he raised him and Tommy with an iron fist. He still remembers him stumbling into the house drunk off his ass. His ma would shoo them to bed so they wouldn't catch his wrath.
As he got older, he started defending himself. He got taller and stronger. He vividly remembers pulling his father off his ma. He was beating her and he had enough. Years and years of pent up anger. He remembered gripping his father's collar and pulling him off his mother. He knocked him out cold. The only reason why he didn't kill him is because of his father.
He swore to himself if ever had children, he would do better and be better. He wouldn't raise a hand to his children's mother or have them witness violence. He regretted the way he treated Becca in the beginning of their relationship. He would spend the rest of his life making it up to her.
Joel turned around to face Abby. He slid his work gloves off and tucked them into the back pocket of his jeans,'What can I do for ya, kid?'
Abby shuffled nervously on her feet,'El's birthday's coming up.'
He raised his eyebrow and smirked,'I know. I am her dad, ya know. I ain't that much of a man.'
He was surprised Abby was approaching him about Ellie's birthday. They were in tbe beginning of their relationship. Ellie told him they were taking things slow. She was still getting over the loss of Lizzie.
Him and Becca were still on the fence about Abby. They didn't trust her. Becca said there was something about her that rubbed her the wrong way. They were intuitive when it came to people. It's why they survived for so long.
She folded her hands behind her back and shifted on her feet,'I was planning on a surprise party for her.' She shrugged,'I think it'll make her happy after everything, ya know?'
He looked over her face and saw the sincerity in her eyes. She seemed to really like Ellie. She was always hanging around her. They had a lot in common. She was good for his daughter. He hoped he didn't live to regret it.
He curtly nodded and leaned back against the fence,'Me and Becca were talking about that. She doesn't want anything big. That ain't her style.' He sighed,'I think a little party will be great though. We need more festivities around here.'
'Really?' Her eyes widened,'I only planned to invite people who like Becca.'
He laughed at her candor, but wasn't offended. He understood what she meant. They would only invite the people that mattered to all of them.
Joel looked down at his watch and sighed,'Gotta go, kid.' He grinned,'I got a lunch date with a special someone.'
Abby returned his grin as he patted her shoulder,'Is it special if ya see her everyday?'
He glared at her and hefore he could say anything, she lifted her hands up defensively,'Okay, geez. I get it. I'll keep in touch about the party.'
She watched as Joel walked the path to Betsy's shop. She crossed her arms over her chest and smiled to herself. What a surprise party indeed.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
The bell chimed as Joel walked into Betsy's shop. A wide smile formed on his face when he saw his wife come out from the back. She moved all of her stuff back in.
It felt good to have all his family back home. He loved looking around the dining table and seeing his beautiful children and wife. He lost people along the way, but he felt like he's doing a good job taking care of the ones he's got.
Whenever she saw him, she always had a bright smile on her face. She seemed so excited to see him. He'll never get used to that.
Matty was being watched by Maria. It was a busy day at the shop for Becca and Betsy. She seemed tired, but happy. He loved seeing her like this. Alive and thriving.
She jogged over to him and leaned up on her tiptoes to hold his face in her hands. She kissed him softly and smiled against his lips. He placed his hand on her lower back, kissing her lips softly. They kept the kiss chaste, but let their lips lingering against each others. They would never disrespect Betsy's shop like that.
Becca pulled away from him and gripped his biceps. She looked up at him, smiling softly,'Abby stopped by the shop today. She wants to have a surprise party for Ellie's birthday. I told her that sounds like a great idea, but keep it small.' She smirked,'I only bake for the people I love.'
He held her face in her hands and grinned,'I'm one of the lucky ones, huh?' He licked his lips, and whispering,'Best pie in town.'
She rolled her eyes and playfully slapped his chest, knowing he wasn't just talking about pie,'Let's go eat, stud. I'm starving.'
His eyes zeroed in on her ass in her tight jeans. She grabbed his hand and he followed her out of the shop, looking like a blind lovesick fool. He needed to be careful. People might suspect he's getting soft.
They ate lunch outside, wanting to enjoy the fresh warm mountain air.
These are the moments they treasured the most.
They talked a bit about his retirement. Today was his last day of working in Jackson. She planned to have a little celebration for him. She was grateful he was retiring while he's still young enough to enjoy his life:
They finished their lunch and Joel walked her back to Betsy's shop. They had a two year old son. She looked forward to seeing him being less tired and at the farm more. He deserved to relax for the rest of his life.
Becca was eager to finish work. She hurriedly walked out of Betsy's shop, taking in a deep breath of fresh air. As much as she enjoyed spending time with Betsy. She wanted to go home. She planned to cook a special dinner for Joel's retirement.
Joel picked up Matty from Maria's, giving her some much needed time for herself. Shelby planned to walk home today. It was a beautiful day.
Some of the townsfolk waved to her as she walked by. She would smile and wave back. They weren't her friends, but after her little 'display' at abetted wedding, they thought she was crazy and played nice. She didn't care what they thought anyway.
She was crazy.
She found herself standing in front of the church house. She shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand as she looked up at the huge silver cross reaching up to the heavens.
It was the only building in town that didn't sustain any damage. The pious people said it was an Act of God. Joel said it was hardly an act from God. The building was made from brick and mortar. It would take more than a few hundred infected to knock it down.
She didn't know why she was standing here. Sometimes she felt herself gravitated towards this place. She couldn't help herself. Church houses used to be her sanctuary. Her safe place.
She toyed with the cross around her neck and frowned. God was everywhere. She didn't have to be in church to prove her devotion.
She usually resisted the urge to walk inside, but today it was especially overwhelming. Maybe it was because of Annette's wedding. Maybe the reason why had stuff always happens is because she doesn't pray enough.
She shook her head, ridding her mind of those emasculating thoughts. David and her father weren't getting into her head today.
This building used to remind her of David's prayer house. Except this was bigger. How many hours did she spend holed up in that place? On her knees, begging and pleading for God to save her. He never did come down from the heavens to save her.
Davis blamed the infected on the sinners of this world. He was a hypocrite. He didn't care about any but himself.
She used to be ashamed of David's cult. She knows that's why a lot of the older townsfolk steered clear of her. She made medicines and grew flowers. They probably thought she was some witch doctor.
She no longer felt shame or embarrassment. She ate people to survive. She's killed and hunted people down like dogs. She wasn't proud of some of the things she did, but she refused to let it control her or define who she is.
She was never given a choice. It was only a decade ago when she started making her own decisions. She felt freedom.
The town's preacher Patrick walked out of the church, smiling when he saw Becca standing there,'How are you, Mrs. Miller?'
'Please.' She waved her hand dismissively in the air,'Call me Becca.'
He nodded and smiled,'Becca it is.'
She was thankful he never bombarded her with religion. He never talked 'shop' with her. He made his conversations light and unburdened. He never talked to her like a Preacher. He was friendly and personable. She appreciated it.
'I'm well. Thanks for asking.' She took a moment and looked up at the ominous cross on the church steeple.
Her body jerked slightly as the church bell rang on the hour. A chill racked her body.
Ring. Repent. Relinquish.
As punishment for their so called 'sins', they were made to ring the church bell with the other sinners. For twelve hours she would tugged hard on the rope of the bell. She remembered her hands bleeding and raw, but her punishment would be worse if it stopped.
When she lived in her apartment in town, she used to hate hearing the church bell ringing every day. It transported her back to Silver Lake so many times. It doesn't bother her anymore. In fact, she barely heeds it any mind at all. She could faintly hear the church bells from their farm, but the chaos around the ranch distracts her mind from wandering.
Patrick gave her a warm smile and looked down at the cross around her neck,'I gotta say. I'm surprised to see you wearing that.'
She lifted the cross off her chest and smiled uneasily,'Old habits die hard, I guess.'
He looked at her strangely. As if wondering what she meant by that. No one ever stopped to think that praying to False Idols is…archaic and creepy. She killed and ate people in the name of God. What kind of God would condone something like that?
She looked over his shoulder as the parishioners started to flock for the evening mass. She stepped aside as the throngs of people walked inside. She let Patrick greet each and every one of them.
Once Patrick was finished, he nodded towards her,'Is there anything I can help you with?'
She thought about his loaded question for a moment and pursed her lips, shaking her head,'Not really.' Her eyes widened,'Flowers.' He was looking at her like she was crazy again,'You need flowers for the church.' She leaned in close whispering,'I happen to know Doris is very stingy with her flowers.' She cleared her throat,'I'll drop some by on my way to work tomorrow.'
Patrick's eyes widened in utter shock and he nodded,'We would love that. My wife was just saying how the church was missing some flowers.'
'My marigolds just sprouted up.' She cleared her throat,'They'll be lovely for the church. And some white lilies.'
'Marigolds?' A slight smile spread across his features,'I take it this isn't your first time altar decorating?'
She shook her head and smiled wryly,'Something like that.' She nodded towards the church,'Your groupies are waiting for ya.'
He cackled as she walked away from him, smiling to herself. She appreciated his sense of humor. He didn't judge her. He respected her reasoning for not wanting to step inside a church. He didn't make her feel guilty over it.
Joel told her he was a Preacher before all this started. She never asked his religious affiliation. Anyhow, she didn't think it mattered. They were all out here riding the same shit wave.
She didn't know what possessed her to offer her flowers to the church. Maybe her meemaw was rubbing off on her. She said it without thought. She could do this one thing though.
So no, she's never been afraid of God. Humanity and the ways we hurt each other scare her most of all.
(I'm so happy to be back! Up next: Ellie's surprise birthday party.)