Warnings: language, underage drinking, partying, drug use,"pick me girl" behavior.
Two Weeks Later
Penny tries not to feel snubbed when Ziph and Satlynn go to bed and leave her sprawled out in front of the fire, her books strewn around her as she attempts to finish her history of magic report. It's around 2:00 in the morning now, and everyone else is trying to catch up on sleep before the school week begins tomorrow.
Penny, of course, left her report until the last second and is now trying to cram it in before class tomorrow. She should've just paid Marty to do it for her; the problem is, though, she wants to save what little money she has for going out. She could've copied Ziph or Satlynn's, but they've all been assigned different topics for this report, so she can't very well hand in a project on vampires (Satlynn's topic) when she's been assigned trolls.
"Penny?"
She looks up and sees that Griffin, who's been sitting up finishing his arithmancy homework, has gathered his things.
"Oh. Do you have to go?" Penny asks him, trying to keep her voice neutral, but feeling disappointed that he's leaving her alone to flounder as she attempts to finish her report.
"Well- yeah, I should probably get to bed," Griffin says guiltily, but Penny nods at him; he shouldn't lose sleep because of Penny's poor planning.
"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow, then," she says emotionlessly as she looks back at her report, which is nowhere near the length it needs to be yet.
Griffin gives her an apologetic look and makes his way up the stairs to his dormitory. And then there was one, Penny thinks dramatically. She's the last one in here; this always ends up happening to her! Apparently it's what happens when you're a serial procrastinator. Penny taps her quill against her book and some ink drops on it.
"Oops," she mumbles. What she wouldn't give for a piece of pizza right now. She makes a paper crane out of a sticky note and starts doodling little flowers on its wings. She really would do anything to avoid doing this report. She sits up, suddenly, remembering with glee that she has a bag of crisps in her bag.
Penny grabs the crisps and starts chowing down on them as fast as she can, singing "Oops, I Did It Again" under her breath as she crunches.
"Oops, I did it again... I put off my work.. got lost in the snacks.. ooh baby, baby.." she sings, amused by her own creative parody. Then she hears the sound of someone entering the portrait hole, and she immediately sits bolt upright and stashes her crisps under her book.
"I'm studying! Working very hard!" she yells across the room, then she looks over and sees that it's Sirius.
"Why are you yelling?!" he hisses at her. "Do you want the whole house to know how late I'm getting home?!"
"Oh, it's just you," Penny says, relieved as she takes her crisps back out and starts crunching loudly.
"Why are you out so late?" she asks, raising her eyebrows at him suspiciously. He folds his arms and crosses the room to sit on the chair that Griffin's recently vacated.
"Just doing stuff," Sirius says vaguely, and Penny continues looking at him skeptically as she plunges her hand into her bag of crisps and grabs a handful.
"Hm. Doing stuff? Or doing people?" Penny asks slyly.
"No need to make assumptions," Sirius grumbles, and he holds his arm out expectantly. Penny reluctantly hands him the bag of crisps.
"You're really going to town on these," he remarks as he takes a few and gives them back to her.
"No need to talk about my eating habits. Let's get back to your love life," Penny says.
"Let's not."
"Who were you with tonight?" Penny asks. "Hang on. Let me guess. Hmm... was it Yvonne Thomas?"
"No," Sirius says, clearly annoyed by this topic of conversation. Which, unfortunately for him, only makes Penny more eager to pursue it.
"Alright. Candace Folwell?" Penny asks as she licks some chip oil off her fingers.
"No. Why are you so convinced it was a Hufflepuff?" Sirius asks as he takes a seat on the floor with her and steals more of her chips.
"Hufflepuffs get around," Penny says. "And I know it wasn't a Gryffindor, or she'd have come through the portrait hole with you. And it probably wasn't a Ravenclaw, because I'm pretty sure you've already dated all of them." Sirius swats her arm at that, which she probably deserved.
"Oh my God. Was it a Slytherin? Isn't that, like, incest, since you're related to literally all of them?" Penny asks, shooting Sirius an evil grin as he swats her again.
"I would never go out with a Slytherin," he says firmly.
"Okay, I give up. Who was it?" Penny asks.
"I'm not going to tell you," Sirius says infuriatingly.
"Well, now I have to know!" Penny says, swishing her tongue around to get extra bits of chip that have stuck to her gums.
"Sorry to disappoint; it's not polite to kiss and tell," Sirius says, then he looks at the book she's got in front of her.
"Why are you on a mission to eat an entire bag of potato chips at 2:00 in the morning in the common room, anyway?" he asks, raising his eyebrows at her as he observes her situation.
"Oh. I'm writing a history report," Penny explains as she pulls out her parchment and shows it to him. "Trolls. Fascinating stuff," she says sarcastically.
"Not to mention attractive," Sirius agrees. Penny snorts.
"Hm," Sirius says as he looks it over. "Pen, your spelling..." he says, sounding physically pained as he reads her first few sentences, then takes out his wand and begins rearranging the letters of her misspellings. He maneuvers onto his elbows so they're lying next to each other, the chips and Penny's scattered school materials between them.
"My spelling isn't that bad!" Penny says defensively.
"You spelled 'recommend' with an 'A.' Like 'Reca'," Sirius points out.
"Reka. That's a nice name. I'd name my daughter that," Penny muses to herself.
"Yeah, if you want her to get teased endlessly. They'd call her home-reka," Sirius says as he continues fixing her spelling errors.
"Whatever. I'll just kick the other kids' asses," Penny says, as if this is the most obvious thing in the world.
"Because that will make the teasing so much better," Sirius says sarcastically. "No one wants their mum to defend them."
"Hm. Whatever, I'll figure it out," Penny says with a shrug as she goes back to her chips and pretends to read her troll book.
"Since when do you care about that stuff anyway?" Sirius asks with a frown, not looking up from her report.
"What stuff?"
"Like- I dunno. I just didn't think you were one of those girls who, like, fantasized about her future children," Sirius says, sounding a little condescending.
"Okay, here's something you need to know: there's nothing wrong with having girly fantasies. It doesn't make me any less of a bad-ass. I'll discover my future playing MASH with Satlynn one minute, then eat a worm on a dare with Rillian the next," Penny explains. "You don't have to be a guys' girl or a girls' girl. You can be both."
Sirius just looks at her curiously and doesn't say anything.
"What?" Penny asks.
"You're smart. For someone so bad at spelling, anyway," Sirius says finally.
"Hm. My spelling might not be great, but the content of the report is good, right?" Penny asks hopefully, and Sirius just gives her a grimace.
"What? Is it bad?" Penny asks.
"I mean..." he trails off.
"It's not that bad!" she cries defensively.
"We'll fix it."
Penny huffs in annoyance, but she's grateful for the help; there's literally no way she's going to finish this by herself before tomorrow. She sighs and puts her head down hopelessly on her book.
"What's MASH?" Sirius asks as he borrows her quill and starts rewording her report. Penny gasps and scrambles furiously around for some parchment.
"Only the BEST game ever. Shows you your future," she explains.
"Is this Marcy-approved?" Sirius asks, bringing up Satlynn's weird, divination-obsessed older sister.
"Absolutely not," Penny says with a grin as she starts setting up MASH on her parchment. She, Ziph, and Satlynn lowkey hate Marcy and her bullshit and will do anything to undermine it.
"Okay, so this is basically just like, a fantasy for my future life. We make a list of possibilities, like possible jobs, pets, kids' names, whatever. We used to do it the muggle way and pick a number to cross out possibilities until there's only one left, but then Satlynn saw in Witch Weekly that there's a spell you can do where it randomly chooses from your options for you. Anyway. You'll catch on," Penny rambles as she finds another quill so she can write down her options. Sirius just looks at her skeptically and continues editing her report.
"Hey now, don't go too crazy on that or it won't look like mine," Penny warns him.
"Anyway. Let's start with my career. Okay, I'm going to say accountant and... the next Britney Spears," Penny says as she fills in the first two blanks. "What do you say? You get to choose two. Satlynn usually chooses something stupid, like trash collector or janitor, just to piss me off."
"Uhhh.." Sirius says, clearly not very into this. "I dunno. This is dumb. How is this going to determine your future? You can't really become the next Britney Spears unless you actually try to." Penny scowls at him.
"Okay, you're missing the point. It's like, a fantasy life. I can be a pop star if I want to. It's all in the hands of fate," Penny says dramatically, "but none of it is actually real. That's what makes it fun."
Sirius just sighs exasperatedly. "Fine. I'll say janitor for one of them, obviously. Satlynn's right, it suits you," he says with a smirk, and Penny squints at him, but writes it down.
"And...I don't know. Actor? You're dramatic enough," Sirius says.
"Excuse me! I am not dramatic."
"You're proving my point right now."
Penny scowls but adds it to the list.
"You want to be an accountant? Isn't that, like, the most boring job ever invented?" Sirius asks.
"Well. Math is the only thing I'm remotely good at," Penny admits.
"I mean, your writing is abysmal..." Sirius says with a teasing motion towards her report.
"Shut! Up!" Penny says through grit teeth as she swats him with her quill. He just grins at her and starts rewriting her report on a separate piece of paper.
"Anyway. Let's move on to the juicy one: finding my future husband," Penny says in an annoying singsong voice as she gleefully adds the category to her parchment.
"What?!" Sirius asks incredulously, craning his neck to look at what she's doing.
"Well I can't figure out my future if I don't know who I'm spending it with!" Penny says with a giddy grin as she chews on the end of her quill dreamily.
"Okay.. hmmm...who should I marry today?" She says thoughtfully. Sirius looks appalled by this game. Penny hesitantly writes a capital "G" on her parchment. She's too embarrassed to finish it, but Sirius looks over and scowls at her.
"Okay, we all know who 'G' is so you might as well just write the whole thing," he says, sounding irritated with her. She just giggles a little and doesn't move her quill. Sirius rolls his eyes and adds "riffin" to the G.
"Okay, yes," Penny says, feeling herself blush as she looks at Griffin's name under the "husband" category.
"Anyway," she says, clearing her throat, a little embarrassed still, "you pick someone."
"Oh," Sirius says, and his quill stops scratching momentarily. "I dunno."
"Okay, well Satlynn usually—" Penny starts, then she catches herself. "Actually, I don't want to give you any ideas."
"She usually tries to sabotage you somehow?" Sirius says thoughtfully.
"Okay," He says, and he takes the paper from her and writes down "Marty Incellio."
"Marty ? Fuck off!" Penny says when she sees it. "He is the actual worst."
"He's got a promising potential career in photojournalism, Pen. You guys will be very happy together. You can document your entire lives," Sirius says, trying not to laugh as he watches Penny get visibly angry. She narrows her eyes and grabs her quill with unnecessary gusto and scribbles furiously.
"What are you adding?" Sirius asks suspiciously as he looks over her shoulder.
"Did you add me?!" He asks, grabbing the paper from her and scrutinizing it.
"Yeah, so now you have to take this more seriously because it could be your future, too," Penny says stubbornly, and Sirius just stares at her for a moment.
"What?!" Penny asks. "It's your turn to pick someone."
"Maybe you just want me," Sirius says abruptly, and Penny whips her head up to glare at him.
"I definitely don't," Penny says with a frown, "um, want you. I just don't want you to try to ruin my fantasy life like Satlynn always does."
"Hm, sure," Sirius says with a smirk. "You want to marry me."
"Oh god, what have I started?" Penny grumbles. "I should just change it to Lukas Nielsen," she says as she gets her quill to scratch it out.
"No, leave it," Sirius says, grabbing her hand and maneuvering it away from the parchment. She struggles against him for a moment, then remembers that she's sick of losing to his stupid strength challenges (like arm wrestling) and lets go.
"Fine then. Looks like you're the one who wants me," Penny says smugly.
"Hm. Maybe," Sirius says as he flicks his hair back.
"Wait, what?!" Penny says, putting her weight on one elbow as she turns to face him.
"Oh- I dunno. It's - it's all fake, right?" Sirius says, looking into the fire and avoiding Penny's gaze.
"Right," she says skeptically, but she keeps watching him for a moment.
"Okay, well. It's your turn to come up with someone," she says at last.
"Okay. Throw Nielsen on there," Sirius says.
"Really?! You're picking someone good?!" Penny squeals excitedly as she adds Lukas Nielsen to her list.
"Wow," She says in awe as she looks at her options. "Only one dud this time." Penny grins and moves on to the next category.
"Okay, so let's name my daughter. Obviously, we've got 'Reka.' She's the reason I'm playing this game. I'm rooting for you, girl!" Penny says as she puts the name down and smiles giddily; all this lack of sleep is starting to get to her, she decides. She's acting like a bit of a buffoon.
"Put down 'Nola' for mine," Sirius says absently, still re-copying Penny's report.
"Make sure you don't smudge that with your lefty-ness," Penny warns as she watches him write.
"Do you want me to help you or not?" Sirius snaps as he gives her a sharp look.
Penny narrows her eyes, but then gives in with a sigh. "Smudge away."
Sirius just gives her a smug look.
"Anyway. Nola? Why?" Penny inquires.
"I dunno. Just like it," Sirius says.
"Okay. It's kind of nice," she agrees as she writes it down.
Twenty minutes later, they've argued over what type of pet Penny will have and what its name will be, what color her wedding dress will be, what her husband's career will be, what mode of transportation she'll use, and now they're fighting about where she'll live.
"Absolutely not. Do you know how many animals can kill you in Australia? You can die just by standing there," Sirius says, scratching "Sydney" off of Penny's list of potential places.
"Not in the city! What do you think is going to happen, a venomous spider is just going to sneak into my apartment? Nah, those things live in the wild!" Penny retorts.
"You don't know that! Spiders get into buildings here!" Sirius reminds her. Penny huffs, but reluctantly changes "Sydney" to "Thailand."
"What's in Thailand?" Sirius asks exasperatedly. He's very annoyed with her unrealistic choices, Penny realizes, but it's her fake life, so she can be as outlandish as she wants.
"I dunno, like, elephants."
Sirius just shakes his head at her and writes down "Amsterdam" and "Paris."
"What's up with these choices?" Penny asks, wrinkling her nose at them.
"They're good cities for partying. Obviously, I need to live somewhere with a thriving night life," Sirius explains.
"Yeah, but this one is about me! We can do you next, if you want," Penny says.
"I think you'd like these places, too! You love going out, and there will be tons of weirdos for you to befriend," Sirius says.
"Hmm," Penny ponders, "I do like weirdos... I mean, I hang out with you, don't I?" she says, elbowing him with her free arm.
"Ow! Jesus, Pen."
"Sorry," Penny says, not sincere whatsoever. "Now for the exciting part! We do the spell, and it chooses answers for me. Ah, do me good," she says as she kisses the parchment for good luck and waves her wand. She taps her fingers impatiently as she watches her quill move of its own accord across the parchment, quickly crossing out answers at random.
"Sweet, I'm not a janitor," Penny says excitedly as the quill crosses out that option. She glances at Sirius to see how he feels about her not being a janitor. He's still working on her report, but she sees his eyes flicker over to the fateful quill and parchment every so often.
"Okay, Okay, I can't watch," Penny says, trying not to feel too giddy as she puts her head down on her book and uses her arm to block her view.
"What's happening? Is it good?" She asks Sirius, unable to stop the grin from spreading across her face.
"If you were going to ask me that, why don't you just look?" He asks, shaking his head at her unreasonableness, but he's smiling a bit, so he can't be that annoyed.
"Okay, Okay, don't tell me anything!" Penny instructs. "The spell I did has this voice read it to you— it's so cool. Wait 'til you see." Penny waits, her arms tense and her fingers tapping. What if she ends up with Griffin? And they have five kids?! Or none? And maybe they'll live in Thailand.
"Penny, your results have been tabulated," a robotic, female-sounding voice comes from Penny's wand.
"Did you hear that? My results have been tabulated!" Penny says, grabbing onto Sirius's arm to get his attention.
"Yes, I heard," he says, then shushes Penny's squeals as the voice keeps talking.
"Penny will live in an apartment-"
"I can work with that! Better than a shack," Penny says.
"Her career is actor-"
"Oh, thanks for that one," Penny says irritably.
"Her husband is Sirius-"
"OH snap, boy! Look at that, we're getting hitched, awww," Penny says rubbing her head annoyingly against Sirius's shoulder.
"Okay, Okay, get off," he says, shoving her away, his face flushed a bit.
"Her daughter's name is Nola-" the voice continues.
"Oh, how sweet, we have a daughter!" Penny says, her excitement returning.
"Her son's name is Orion-"
"Oh, fantastic. We have to name our son after you. Damn, I was really rooting for 'Storvin'," Penny muses as she looks at the rejected name wistfully.
"That's literally the weirdest name I've ever heard. Thank god it wasn't that," Sirius says, and Penny scowls at him.
"Her pet will be a horse-"
"That'll work well in an apartment," Sirius mutters, but Penny waves her hand to get him to be quiet so she can listen to the rest of her future.
"Her pet's name will be Spot-" the voice continues.
"That was supposed to be the name of my dog!" Penny whines.
"Her wedding will take place in December-"
"Oh, absolutely not. Sirius, we've got to change that one. Can we compromise, please? I refuse to get married in the winter. That's disgusting," Penny says.
"Her dress will be green-"
"A green dress for a December wedding? Am I a walking cliche? I hate this, oh my god," Penny moans, putting her head back down. Her future is taking a turn for the worse.
"She'll use a beat up old bike for transportation-"
"Jesus Christ," Penny says, her voice muffled because she's put her face in her book again.
"Her husband's career is quidditch instructor-"
"He wishes!" Penny comments to herself.
"And she lives in Thailand."
"Oh! Oh, I got one! I got Thailand!" Penny says, sitting up again and looking at her results as the voice turns off.
"Okay, so we've got some pluses and minuses, here," Penny assesses to herself as she reads through everything. "All in all, it's really not my worst. Satlynn has done some numbers on me in the past."
She glances over at Sirius, who's gone back to painstakingly fixing her homework. He really needn't put so much effort in if he wants it to look natural.
"What do you think of my results?" Penny asks, raising her eyebrows expectantly.
"Mmm," Sirius says, rubbing his temple tiredly. "I agree, you can't wear a green dress to our wedding."
He smiles and pulls the parchment towards him and crosses out "green" under "dress color."
"You can't change it! The fates have spoken!" Penny gasps as he circles her first choice (white, obviously) instead.
"Sure, they've spoken, but that doesn't mean we have to agree with what they've said," Sirius points out as he crosses out "December" and circles "August" instead.
"There. Now the only issue left is that you have no friends to be bridesmaids," he points out, and Penny shoves him for that comment.
"Excuse you, I have lots of friends!" she says indignantly. "There's Satlynn, Ziph..." Penny trails off and clears her throat.
"Uh, I have other friends, too," she reassures him.
"Really? Like who?" Sirius asks, and he flips over her results paper to make a list of all of his friends.
"Because I have all my roommates and the entire quidditch team- well, not Griffin-"
"What's wrong with Griffin?!" Penny snaps.
"Nothing! Just, we're not really friends," Sirius says.
"Hmm, and whose fault is that?" Penny asks sourly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius asks as he begins matching up their friends to figure out the bridesmaids-to-groomsmen ratio.
"You guys haven't exactly been very welcoming to Griffin since he joined the team," Penny says. "I'm the only one who's even tried to be nice to him-"
"Yeah, well, the rest of us aren't trying to get in his pants," Sirius mutters.
"Oh, please! If we'd found a girl seeker, don't you think all you guys would be trying to do the same thing?!" Penny snaps, and Sirius frowns at her point.
"Well, you're a girl and none of us have tried anything on you," he points out, and Penny just stares at him, her eyes narrowed as she tries to work out what he's implying: that she's so undesirable, not even the team (Who are always desperate for female attention) will bother with her?
"I'm sure you've all thought about it," Penny snaps, her nostrils flaring as Sirius looks away from her.
"Yeah," he says awkwardly, and Penny feels herself leaning towards him curiously. Is he saying he has, indeed, thought about it? She feels her heart rate speed up as Sirius looks back at her and clears his throat.
"Penny-"
"What the hell is going on, here?" a voice thunders from the other side of the room, and Penny jumps violently and nearly spills her ink, but Sirius catches it just in time. She looks up and sees James striding towards them in his nerdy pajamas.
"Dude, it's almost four in the morning! What the fuck are you doing?" James asks, rubbing at his eyes and looking skeptically at their piece of parchment with "bridesmaids and groomsmen" written across the top.
"Oh, Penny wants to marry me now," Sirius says, shooting Penny an evil grin.
"Nope, that is not true," Penny snaps. "See what happened was-"
"Ugh, I don't care! Can you please just come to bed now?" James interrupts Penny to plead with Sirius.
"Yeah. Here, this is done," Sirius says, shoving Penny's troll report at her.
"I thought you were just rewording it! You - what the hell? How did you finish this?!" Penny asks incredulously as Sirius stands up and stretches his arms slowly.
"I dunno. It's good, though," he says with a cocky grin as he follows James up to their room.
"What-" Penny stutters, but James just throws her a peace sign as they both leave her alone in the common room again.
"Well, Okay then," Penny mumbles to herself as she packs up her things and makes to go upstairs to her own room at last, all-nighter averted.
X
Halloween
Penny smooths her hair and adjusts the pink bows she's added to it. It's definitely not her usual style, but she's trying to look like Blossom from The Powerpuff Girls. Blossom is the leader of the group who isn't afraid to stand up for what she believes in. Satlynn is dressed as Bubbles, the sweet, shy powerpuff girl who cries about everything. Fitting, Penny thinks.
Of course, they've forced Ziph into the role of Buttercup. It fits her perfectly since Buttercup is the bad-ass tomboy of the Powerpuff Girls, but Ziph flat-out refuses to wear a dress. She's sporting black jeans and a greenish top, though, and Penny thinks the effect is clear. It was Satlynn's idea to dress up as the Powerpuff Girls for Halloween, naturally.
Penny's wearing a hot pink tube top that shows a bit of her stomach and she sports a matching mini skirt. She's not normally one for revealing skirts and tank tops, but she's hoping to gain Griffin's attention tonight. They've been discreetly hanging out and have gone on two official dates, and Penny thinks it's about time to get him to hang out with her in public and maybe even ask her to be his girlfriend.
Maybe Penny will dance with some other guys tonight; it's not like she and Griffin are exclusive, and he might as well realize that she's far from being tied to him. (Unless, of course, he were to actually ask her to be exclusive. In which case, she'd agree without hesitation.) But as it is, he might as well see how gorgeous and unattainable she is. She wonders if Satlynn will mind if she borrows Parker for a quick dance to gauge Griffin's reaction. Not that Satlynn and Parker are exclusive either, Penny realizes with an eye roll; what's up with boys and their commit-ophobia?
"I wish I could wear tube tops," Satlynn grumbles as she pokes her eye with a blue eyeliner pencil.
Penny squints at her. "Why can't you?" she asks as she crowds Satlynn with her elbow and adds a light dusting of blush to her cheeks.
Satlynn rolls her eyes. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because I don't have a freakin' six pack like you do."
"Yeah, but you can still rock a smaller top. It's not like you have fat rolls. Plus, don't compare yourself to me. I'm an athlete, remember?" Penny reminds her.
"I'm an athlete, remember?" Satlynn mocks her in a high-pitched voice. "I'm aware, Pops."
Penny narrows her eyes at her friend. Satlynn doesn't have to be such a dick about it.
"Ziph, don't even think about it," Satlynn says as Ziph attempts to sneak out of their room.
"But I'm hungry!" Ziph wails, "and there's food down there!" She stares longingly towards the common room.
"You will not leave this room without makeup on," Satlynn says firmly.
"No! I'm already wearing this ridiculous shirt," Ziph says, gesturing towards her green flowy top, which is far from revealing and really not that outlandish. "But makeup is where I draw the line," Ziph continues.
"Ziph Tarringer, I swear to God, I will hold you down if I have to," Satlynn says menacingly. "We're all wearing makeup that corresponds to our Powepuff Girl color, so you're wearing green eyeshadow, whether you like it or not."
Ziph freezes by the door, wide-eyed in terror.
"Yes, ma'am," she obliges, and Satlynn gives her a satisfied smile.
"You guys better not abandon me tonight. It's bad enough that Parker didn't even ASK me to be his date to the party, so now I have to go with you lot. I don't need you two ditching me, too, and leaving me to look like a lonely idiot in front of him," Satlynn warns them.
Parker has been hanging out with Satlynn ever since Penny and Griffin's first date in Hogsmeade, when the four of them ended up in a booth together at the Broomsticks. Penny had already worn the pants of shame, so Satlynn had no reservations about getting to know Parker. Parker, seeing Satlynn's eagerness and cloying, rampant anxiety, had seized the opportunity to be her hero in hoping-to-get-laid armor.
Ziph sighs. "When are you going to realize that boys aren't worth your trouble? Especially not boys like Parker Banks," she says, and Penny secretly agrees with her. She's gotten to know Parker pretty well in the past year she's been on the team with him, and he's shown a propensity towards being a spectacular douche. Then again, Penny's having similarly desperate thoughts about Griffin, so she really can't chastise Satlynn without being a hypocrite.
"Just because you date NO ONE, it doesn't give you the right to criticize me," Satlynn says firmly as she whirls around to face Ziph, armed with green eyeshadow. Ziph flinches as Satlynn attacks her eyelids without so much as a warning.
"THERE," Satlynn huffs when she's finished with Ziph. "Now, was that so terrible?" She turns Ziph around to face the mirror.
"I look fuckin' odd," Ziph says as she examines the angles of her face with a grimace.
"You look fuckin' great," Penny corrects her as she stands back to get the full effect of the three of them, together as the Powerpuff Girls. They really do look striking: Ziph's eyes look huge with eyeshadow and liner; Penny, who never wears makeup, is positively glowing in her luminescent blush and doll-like false eyelashes; and Satlynn, who is always relatively gussied up, looks even more alluring than usual in her baby blue eyeshadow and matching gown that shows off her chest.
"We look right hot," Satlynn says, nodding with approval at their reflection. "Damn, I wish we could take a picture."
"Where's Marty when you need him?" Penny jokes. Marty Incellio is the school-appointed photographer who takes magical photos near-constantly for the yearbook.
"Griffin's poor little heart is going to positively give out when he sees you," Satlynn says with a smirk as she eyes Penny's silhouette up and down in the mirror. Penny blushes, suddenly self-conscious about her revealing outfit. Is it really powerful enough to elicit a reaction from Griffin?
Ziph nods, then a glint flickers in her eyes. "Who wants to pregame?" she asks, raising her eyebrows mischievously as she dives under her bed and pulls out a bottle of mead.
"Seriously? Mead? That's the best you've got?" Satlynn asks as she pulls out her own bottle of fire whiskey. "I've got the real stuff."
"What's wrong with mead? I love mead!" Ziph says stubbornly as she uncorks it and takes a sloppy sip straight from the bottle.
"Oh, please. Could you be any more ill-mannered?!" Satlynn asks, shooting dagger-eyes at Ziph as she gracefully takes out three shot glasses and fills them to the brim. Ziph grumbles to herself and ignores Satlynn.
"What shall we toast?" Penny asks as she carefully moves her glass towards her, careful not to spill.
"Mmm...looking hot," Satlynn suggests. Penny rolls her eyes.
"Candy," Ziph adds as she takes a huge bite out of a candy bar. Hell knows where she got that.
"These suggestions all suck," Penny says, and Ziph replies by throwing her candy wrapper at her.
"Fuck off!" Penny yells as she throws it back at Ziph.
"Fine. If you lot don't feel like being sentimental, that's on you," Penny huffs as she moves to take her shot without them.
"Wait wait wait!" Satlynn and Ziph cry as they try to stop her.
"We'll toast our fourth Halloween together," Satlynn says. "It's been a wild ride," she adds dramatically, trying to appease Penny's nostalgic side.
Penny nods in approval and raises her shot glass. "To Halloween number four!" She yells.
"Halloween number four!" the other girls reply as they down their shots in unison.
Two shots later, Clara Tenton and Layla Nonette show up in the girls' room. Clara's sporting a hideous curly red wig and a pair of disgusting yellow overalls.
"What are you supposed to be? A homeless clown?" Ziph asks her.
"Ziph!" Satlynn and Penny admonish her in unison. The girl desperately needs to learn tact. It's funny Ziph is so against boys when she acts so similarly to some of Penny's male teammates. Penny feels Ziph would get along great with boys if she just gave them a chance.
"I'm supposed to be Ronald McDonald. You know, from the fast food restaurant?" Clara says miserably. "Layla's idea," she adds, flinching.
Layla is dressed like Wendy from the Wendy's fast food chain, and she clearly wants Clara to help complete that idea. The thing is, though, Layla's Wendy outfit is skimpy and feminine, while Clara's is... well. She really does look a bit like a homeless clown.
"Let's head downstairs," Layla says excitedly as she checks her watch and sees that it's 9:30. They hear the seventh- year girls traipse past their door as they make their way down to the party.
"One sec! I just have to get this damn lipstick off my teeth!" Satlynn says, her voice already unnaturally loud from her three shots of whiskey and several pulls of mead. Just then, the sixth-year girls walk by and poke their heads in on the others.
"Satlynn, what in God's name are you wearing?!" Satlynn's older sister, Marcy, asks sharply as she views Satlynn's low-cut blue dress.
"I'm Bubbles, obviously," Satlynn drawls, rolling her eyes at her older sister.
"Satlynn. I'm telling mum that you're a shitty witch who bats her eyes at men instead of boiling them into potions," Marcy warns.
"Bite me," Satlynn snaps back. Then she catches Marcy's eye in the mirror. "What are you supposed to be, anyway?"
"I'm a ladybug! Duh! Wanda's a bee, Keralena's a butterfly, and Lily was supposed to be a dragonfly, but she's being an antisocial loser, as always, and refused to come out with us, even though I made her a costume," Marcy says heatedly, her brown eyes flashing.
"She's sick, Marce! It's not like she didn't want to come!" Keralena says, her butterfly wings flopping as she crosses her arms.
"Yeah, leave Lily be," Penny says, waving her hand dismissively. She likes Lily. Marcy has no reason to be so harsh.
"Penny, you're fourteen years old. Cover yourself up, for Merlin's sake," Marcy snaps at her, referring to her belly-shirt and short skirt. Quite rude of her, Penny thinks.
"This is a no slut-shame room," Ziph says threateningly. "You can follow the rules or you can get out."
Marcy squints at her, but she shrugs. "We were leaving anyway."
Keralena shoots the fourth years an apologetic look as she follows her friend out of the room. "Sorry about her," she says softly, probably so Marcy won't hear.
"When did your sister become an ass?" Ziph asks Satlynn once they're out of earshot.
"Around birth, I reckon," Satlynn says, and the girls dissolve into giggles.
With that, they head out of the room with renewed excitement for Halloween.
Penny can already hear the bass thumping and the low hum of excessive chatter as they near the landing. Then they round the corner, and there's the party, in all its glory. "Happy Halloween" has been emblazoned in glowing letters across the fireplace, and there are fake cobwebs adorning the ceiling. Creepy enchanted ghouls float above, and coffins line the walls.
"It's right festive in here!" Layla says with a gasp. Keralena pops up, as if out of nowhere, and calls out, "Thanks! Six years of being on the Dance Prep and Plan Council hasn't been for nothing!"
Keralena's an epic party planner, and she's very proud of this fact. It may just be her only claim to fame in life. Penny scans the room anxiously as she looks for Griffin. It would be helpful, she thinks, if she knew what the heck he was dressed as. He could be anyone! He could be the one in the Scream mask or the one with his face painted like Axel Rose. It's nearly impossible to recognize people on Halloween.
"Ladies! Nice of you to join us," a douchey voice says. Penny looks up and sees that the voice belongs to a Ninja Turtle. He drapes his arms around Layla and Keralena a little invasively.
"Satlynn," the turtle nods across the circle at her and she blushes furiously.
"Oh. Hello, Parker," she mumbles, clearly trying to be nonchalant. Penny winces.
"Flex, would you let my friends BREATHE, please?" Penny snaps at Parker, throwing his weighty arms off of Layla and Keralena. Keralena shoots her a grateful look, but Layla looks disappointed.
"Aww, nah," Parker says as he settles his eyes on Penny and flings off the ridiculous turtle mask to get a better look at her.
"Twitch, what is this?!" he asks, motioning towards her getup.
"What, Banks?" Penny retorts. "Don't you dare say some douchey thing about my 'developing body,' or I swear, I'll-"
"What's this about developing bodies?" another Ninja Turtle asks as he puts Penny in a familiar headlock.
"SWITCH!" she yells as she fumbles away from him. It can only be Sirius. No one else sees her and automatically thinks 'let me just try to strangle her instead of saying hello!'
"Excuse you. It's Michelangelo," he corrects her, gesturing towards his outfit. Layla and Clara have been swept into a conversation about their costumes with a few fifth-year boys, and Ziph has wandered over to the candy table, leaving Satlynn, Penny, and the two Ninja Turtles in the circle.
Sirius folds his arms as he takes note of Penny's ensemble. She raises her eyebrows at his suspicious silence.
"What, are you going to yell at me, too? Parker beat you to it," Penny says.
"I never actually got the chance to scold you," Parker points out, "but I might just go find Rillian and let him know exactly how much of his sister's body I've seen-" Parker starts, and Penny cuts him off with a forceful punch on the shoulder.
"Ow! Fuck off, Twitch!" Parker whines. Then he glances at Satlynn and clears his throat. "I mean, uh, that didn't hurt! You're a shrimp!"
Penny rolls her eyes as Satlynn giggles and lets Parker lead her towards the game of darts that's happening in the corner. He's probably going to 'show her proper form' for shooting a dart as an excuse to touch her. What has Penny gotten her roommate into? She watches them laugh and flirt. Speaking of flirting, where the hell is Griffin? She scans the room again until she hears Sirius clear his throat and remembers that she's supposed to be conversing with him.
"Oh," she says, startled from her thoughts. "Right. So, who's in this little turtle group?"
"'Little turtle group'?" He repeats, sounding offended by her terminology.
Penny shrugs, "I may be a bit of a tomboy, but Ninja Turtles were never my thing."
Sirius shakes his head at her exasperatedly. "Alright. Well, I'm Michelangelo, the orange one. He's the hilarious one. Obviously."
"Obviously," Penny adds with a grin.
"Parker is Raphael. He's the red one, and he's a bit of a douche," Sirius explains.
"Again, a fitting choice," Penny intones. She squints across the room at the blue and purple turtles. The blue one's guffawing next to Vince Afton, who's dressed like some sort of cowboy.
"Let me guess: the blue one is James," Penny says.
Sirius nods, "of course. He's Leonardo, the group leader."
"Ah. Naturally," Penny nods.
"Naturally," Sirius repeats, and Penny swears she can hear him smiling through his mask.
"And the purple one..?" Penny asks. The purple one looks a bit smaller and thinner than the others, and her heart rate speeds up as she considers the fact that it might be Griffin.
"Remy," Sirius confirms.
"Oh," Penny says, trying not to let her disappointment show. What if Griffin isn't coming to the party, for some reason? What if he's avoiding her? What if he's transferred to Beauxbatons, or something? What if he wants to move across the country to get away from her?!
"...Twitch?" she hears Sirius ask, and she jumps out of her internal monologue.
"Yes! Sorry, what?" she asks, a bit panicked as she forces herself to focus on the conversation.
"Oh - nothing. I just said I liked your costume," Sirius repeats a bit sheepishly.
"...oh," Penny says with a frown. A bit weird that he's complimenting her very revealing getup, isn't it? She shoots him a look, suddenly glad he's wearing a mask so she can't see his face.
"Boo!" a voice calls from behind her, and Penny jumps violently as she looks up and sees a vampire grasping her shoulders.
"Eek!" she screeches, but she's smiling; finally. Griffin is here. And... he's a vampire?
"Hey," he says with a grin, showing off fake fangs. Penny giggles; she's not sure if she's laughing at the goofy fangs or just feeling giddy in general from being around him.
"I'm just gonna..." Sirius says awkwardly as he drifts away from them towards the other reptiles.
"Hi," Penny says, catching her breath a little as she looks at Griffin. He does look exceedingly gorgeous as a vampire. He's got his hair slicked back, which normally would look weird on a boy, but he makes it work. He's naturally relatively pale, and he's added some fake blood to one side of his mouth. He's got a cape on, as well. It's a bit silly, but Penny thinks he looks right hot.
"What are you?" he asks her, taking a step back to examine her costume.
"Really? You can't tell?" Penny asks, disappointed.
"Well, here," she says, locating Ziph and Satlynn in the crowd. "Look at those two. Now can you tell what I am?"
Griffin looks from Penny to Ziph and Satlynn and back again and shrugs. "Different flavored...popsicles?"
Penny shoots him an exasperated look.
"We're the Powerpuff Girls!" she bursts out at last.
"Ohhhh. Right," Griffin says, still looking confused.
"Griffin Vaughn," Penny says in a hushed voice, "do you know who the Powerpuff Girls are?!"
Griffin grimaces. "What happens if I say no?"
"If you say no, it means we've got a lot of old cartoons to watch together!" Penny says with a grin.
"Sounds like a plan!" Griffin grins back, and there's a pause.
Penny's heart skips a beat as she watches him glance at the dance floor, which several students have already taken to. There are some first year girls dancing in a huge circle, a few awkward third and fourth year couples slow dancing and flirting nervously with each other, and, of course, rowdy sixth and seventh years shamelessly bump-and-grinding.
She looks hopefully at Griffin; they could be one of those awkward fourth-year couples if he asked her to dance. He glances at her nervously. Her heart races. This is it! He's about to ask her to dance!
"How about a game of exploding snap?" he asks her instead, and she tries not to show her displeasure with this request. After all, she should be glad he's even hanging out with her; at least they'll get to spend the evening together.
"Alright," she agrees at last, and she follows him over to the couches to start a game.
A few losers are already sitting on the couches; Marty Incellio is excitedly showing a third-year his new camera, and she looks bored out of her mind. Penny feels for her as she glances longingly around the room. She could be socializing; she could be showing off her sexy outfit on the dance floor or in the dart corner. There are a lot of things she could be doing, and yet here she is, sitting in the corner like a loser and talking to Griffin.
She supposes she should be honored; since his narrow snitch catch at the Slytherin match, Griffin's status with the female population of the school has skyrocketed. Penny decides she should just be grateful he wants to spend his time with her when there are other girls who'd gladly take him. She resigns herself miserably to her fate as they begin their game in the corner, far away from the action of the party.
When their second game ends and an entire hour of the party has elapsed, Penny gets up for her third glass of spiked punch, hoping to get some socializing in on the way over to the bowl.
"Satlynn!" she whispers loudly as she passes by her friend and motions for her to follow her towards the drink table. Satlynn reluctantly follows her.
"What?" Satlynn snaps when they reach the bowl. "Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?" She motions towards the corner she'd been standing where Parker is now entertaining a group of third-year girls who are giggling shamelessly at his (likely unfunny) jokes.
"Yes," Penny hisses, "but I am having a crisis, here!"
"What could possibly be so important that you have to pull me away from my first real time hanging out with Parker?" Satlynn asks, crossing her arms and begrudgingly accepting the glass of punch Penny's poured for her.
"Griffin," Penny says through gritted teeth. "He doesn't fucking move! He just wants to sit there and play board games like we're ten years old at summer camp on a rainy day!"
Satlynn glances over to the couches, where Griffin is still sitting innocently and examining the game with interest. She looks thoughtful for a moment.
"So make a move, Pops," Satlynn says with a shrug.
"I don't want to make a move! He needs to make a move!" Penny whispers frantically.
"Let's take a shot," Satlynn says firmly as she takes a bottle of vodka from the table and two shot glasses. "This will make you brave."
Penny groans, but accepts the shot glass, and the girls down their vodka like the champs they are.
"Whew! Jet fuel," Penny says, cracking her neck as she sets down the shot glass.
"Go get 'em, Blossom," Satlynn says, winking at Penny as she makes her way back towards Parker. Penny shoots Satlynn a salute.
"Right you are, Bubbles!" she says as she meanders her way back to the couch. She can do this. She's got alcohol on her side. Plus, she's a bad ass. She's been dealing with boys since she was in diapers. Having an older brother has taught her many things about the mysterious species of boy. And it doesn't hurt that she looks fucking hot, she realizes as some second year boys watch her walk by with their mouths agape.
"Keep dreaming," she sings to them with a smirk. She feels that shot kicking in as she comes to a standstill in front of Griffin, demanding his attention.
"Griffin," she says, putting her hands on her hips. He looks up at her.
"Dance with me," she says, tossing her ponytail confidently. He gulps as he looks her up and down.
"Penny-" he stammers, then falters when she glares at him.
"I don't know how to dance," he admits, avoiding her eyes.
"You don't have to know how to dance," Penny says impatiently. "You just gotta fucking go for it."
Griffin looks at her curiously. "Have you been drinking?" He asks her, refusing to move from his spot on the couch. Penny looks at him incredulously.
"Haven't you?" she shoots back.
Griffin shakes his head. "I don't think I like drinking," he explains, "and I feel like you should avoid it, too," he tells her. She knows he's probably just concerned for her health since the passing out incident, but Penny doesn't care; all she cares about is the fact that he would rather play board games, sober, than dance with her. That stings. She feels the alcohol coursing through her veins as she glares at Griffin.
"Fine then," she snaps, "I'll go drink and dance and be a freaking delinquent without you."
"Pen-" she hears Griffin say, but she's already beelining for the dance floor, glass of punch swaying in her hand. Once there, she joins a dance circle with Satlynn, Parker, Ziph, and Marcy.
"Where's Griffin?" Satlynn shouts at her over the din.
"Don't know, don't care," Penny says as she lets her head swing from side to side. His loss. She sways in time with the music. They're playing "Yeah" by Usher. What a classic. How can Griffin not want to dance to this? He's turned into some sort of self-righteous asshole lately, Penny decides as she swings her hips and tries not to spill her drink.
She closes her eyes and bobs her head up and down to the beat as she takes another sip of her drink. She starts feeling a little dizzy, so she opens her eyes and notices that she's strayed from her friends a bit and has somehow ended up in a bit of a mosh pit of grinding seventh years. No matter, she thinks. She can dance on her own, a la Robyn.
She turns around in a circle, basking in the glow of the flashing lights. This is her scene. This is where she belongs. She wants to thrive on the middle of the dance floor, not fade into nothing on the couch. Lame Griffin. He will never understand her.
"Eek!" she jumps when she feels someone's cold hands clasp around the exposed flesh of her waist. She turns around and is faced with a huge, drunk seventh-year dressed as an American football player.
"Get off me!" she yells, trying to pry his arms off of her.
"No," he groans and he moves his hands down to her ass and squeezes. Penny shrieks, "Don't fucking touch me!" and tries to reach for her wand, but it's buried deep in the pocket of her mini skirt, and she can't reach it with the seventh-year's hands gripping her. She's usually lithe and great at squirming out of trouble, but the alcohol has dulled her senses. She begins to panic then; what if he keeps touching her like this? Everyone around them is so interested in grinding with each other that they don't notice Penny yelling and struggling. Thankfully, Penny sees Parker barreling towards her.
"Parker!" she shrieks at him, waving wildly for him to notice her and help out. He sprints towards her, then pummels the seventh year's stomach until he lets Penny go in a huff.
"Fuck off, man, she was asking for it," the drunk football player says.
"Shut up!" Parker growls, grabbing the football player by the shirt menacingly. Well, as menacingly as one can look when they're dressed as a ninja turtle, anyway.
"Fine, Fine," the seventh year mumbles as he staggers off. Penny rocks back and forth as she stares, wide-eyed, at Parker.
She's never felt attracted to him; she knows he's a douche and she's heard the way he talks about women, and yet he's just saved her from a terrible fate. She can't imagine what would have happened if he hadn't showed up. She bites her lip as he stares back at her. Why does she suddenly feel like they should dance together? They are, after all, on the dance floor.
Without really thinking — without bothering to consider the fact that her best friend is in love with him — she flings her arms around him and starts dancing. She turns around and puts her hair up with one hand, then lets it fall across his chest like Bridget does to Eric in the traveling pants movie — this seems like a sexy move to her, and she wants to dance like a thot tonight. Even if it's not with Griffin.
"Thank you," she calls to him, referring to the rescue, and her vision blurs a little as she sways into him and watches the multicolored lights flutter across the floor. He grabs her waist to steady her, and she feels a little shock run through her where his fingertips meet her skin.
What is she doing? She's not supposed to feel this way about Parker, her friend, the douchebag. But she feels starved of attention and she loves the way it feels to be touched by him.
"I love this song!" Penny shrieks at him as "Circus" by Britney Spears comes on. How fitting for this moment.
"I know," he calls back to her. He knows? How the hell does he know that? Penny wonders. Whatever, he's probably drunk and full of shit, she decides as he spins her around to face him, and she grins as they sway together.
This is just a friend thing. Obviously. He's into Satlynn. The way he tugs her by the hips to keep her close suggests otherwise, though. Penny registers dimly that her knees feel a bit weak. She's glad Parker is wearing a mask or she's worried she'd have tried to kiss him by now.
Penny looks around suddenly, realizing that there are other people around who might see her sexy-dancing with her friend's... well, he's not really Satlynn's boyfriend, is he? No one is official in this school, Penny remembers with an eye roll. To her surprise, however, everyone seems too involved with their partners to notice her slightly-adulterous dancing in the middle of the floor. She's too drunk to care, anyway, she decides blissfully.
"There's only two types of guys out there: ones that can hang with me and ones that are scared," Penny sings along with Britney Spears.
How perfect. Griffin just can't hang. Maybe she's meant for douchey assholes like Parker. It does feel surprisingly right, dancing with him like this. Sure, he's taller than she is, but she's short as fuck, so that's not exactly a surprise. She fits perfectly, right into his chest. She wants to crawl into it and live there and he can be her fighting reptile and protect her from bad guys.
"Penny?" Penny whips around at the sound of Satlynn's voice. Shit. Here she is, dancing with Parker, and now Satlynn's noticed. Penny winces as she looks guiltily at Satlynn, bracing herself for a lecture. Instead, Satlynn just looks bewildered.
"Hey, I got you another drink," a voice comes from their left, and Penny turns and sees Parker making his way through the crowd towards Satlynn. Wait a minute. How did he get over there when..? Penny's so confused; weren't they just sexy-dancing together? Now he's suddenly coming from the other side of the room with a drink in tow.
Penny gasps and whirls around to examine the guy she's been dancing with. That's when she realizes this Ninja Turtle is a bit taller than Parker, and the eyes behind his mask aren't brown, but blue.
"Fuck," Penny whispers as she stumbles backwards. She hasn't been sexy-dancing with Parker at all; she's been dancing with Sirius.
X
Notes:
I hate all the underage drinking. If I ever decided to work on this story again, I would maybe try to rework it into a college AU.
But, since I've effectively given up on it, I'm just posting it as-is. There will be a few more chapters and maybe some extra scenes if anyone wants them. Thanks!
-Giant Squid