Chapter Thirty One
Tears roll out as I sit with my hand clutching my chest. I had just fallen asleep for a few moments, and the nightmare startled me. The nightmare of the memory stuck in my brain from the weeks before. The way I can't sleep without it consuming me. I've spent two weeks restless since we got home. Even falling asleep with the lights on, the nightmares come back.
My fingers graze along my chest and I feel the pain of the scar. The burned on J was deep and ached especially when rain was coming. I groaned as I traced it. Deciding to focus on it again, I place my hand on top. Sending my energy through it I work on healing it. Maybe using up an excessive amount of energy will knock me out enough to sleep. I go into a transe for a good 30 minutes until I can't take the use of my powers. The J is still there but not as dark. I smile lightly as the soreness has faded as well. With lack of sleep my powers wont heal it well anyway.
Stumbling out of bed I make my way to the bathroom to pee. I sigh as I feel my heavy eyes crave sleep. Deciding to try some more sleep tea, I head for the kitchen.
Starting the kettle I lean against the island with a jar of peanut butter and a spoon. The large belly hangs from my AC/DC shirt. With a pair of Dicks basketball shorts he still hasn't noticed missing. I'm 28 weeks now and I can't believe I'm still going to get bigger. My hip bones are hiding now. After everything that happened I forgave Dick. My walls are still up and I struggle to trust him. I guess watching the man you love on the brink of death is a real eye opener. He's still sleeping on the couch and I have only let him hug me and kiss a few times.
Forgiveness is hard. I don't hold anger about what happened with him dumping me. But my trust does. I'm still afraid he will leave again. Fear I hold onto. Getting my tea I blow on it, walking back to my room.
The nightlights I installed in my living room didn't help me from tripping over the box of baby stuff I lazily left on the floor. Throwing the cup in front of me as I fall. Crashing to the ground I turn quickly slamming into my shoulder, knocking over my side table. The pain shot up my arm fast as I groaned. Holy shit. I roll onto my back slowly as the radiating pain continues. The pain let's me know I've actually broke something.
I lay on my back holding my arm, afraid to move and cause more pain. Placing my free hand on my protruding belly I feel her kick hard.
Sighing out I close my eyes softly. This is why we put shit up where it goes Rachel. I scold myself. You could have fucking hurt the baby. A noise catches my attention and I open my eyes seeing a figure opening my balcony door.
"Rachel!" I hear his yell. I turn looking at the young man.
"Tim?" I question.
"Oh shit. Are you okay?" He races to me. "Are you-" he stares at my stomach. An announcement has not been made to the whole family but I assumed Bruce would mention the pregnancy.
"I just tripped and fell." I sigh. "I fell on my shoulder. It might be broke."
"Okay, let me see it." He walks around me sitting on the floor. His eyes looking at my belly but not questioning it.
"Why are you here?" I look to him.
"Your panic button went off?" He says questioning.
"Shit. It was on the table" I turn looking to the broken lamp and scattered items all over the floor. Slowly turning I sit up. "I have to turn it off." I scramble in the dark through the various items. "Please help me find it, before he ends up here." I panic.
"Okay." He runs to the other side of the lamp checking every item.
"Rae?" I hear his voice from the door. I sigh as I know it's too late.
"I'm okay." I squeeze my eyes shut, as he flips the light on.
"No you're not." He comes to my side. "Let's get you up off the floor.
"Found it." Tim smiles as he clicks it off.
"How did you get here so fast?" Dick looks to Tim as he stands me up. I hold my belly as I stand.
"Jason has Steph and me taking turns staying at his place while he's gone incase Rachel needs us." He looks to my belly. "I see why now."
"You've talked to him?" I step forward in shock
"Yeah?" Tim looks instantly nervous, "well actually he's calling now." He looks to his phone. "Hello?"
Without thinking I rip the phone from Tim's hands, quickly answering it. "Where the hell are you?" I yell.
"Are you okay? What happened?" He worries.
"Answer my question first." I demand.
"Somewhere safe." He huffs. "Put Dick on the phone,"
"No Jason you're going to talk to me." I yell as Dick looks at my arm. He lifts it up and the pain shoots through me. Dropping the phone I scream. "Ahh, fuck." I shove him away.
"It's dislocated." Dick huffs.
"She's okay." Tim picks up the phone and steps back.
" I didn't do anything to him. And now he won't even talk to me." I look away.
"He feels guilty beyond measure. Give him space." Dick sighs.
"Guilt for what? Almost killing you or leading him to me?" I scoff. "Everything's fine now"
"He wants to talk to you Dick." Tim sighs.
Dick grabs the phone, eyeing me as he sighs. "Hey Jason" rolling my eyes I watch him. "Yeah she fell. Yeah. I believe it's dislocated, I'm going to take her to Cy to check on the baby after we get it back into place." He leans against the island watching me as I lean over picking up the broken mug with tea around it. Glad I threw it away from me as I fell, so I didn't scold myself
"Shit, I didn't think of that. I'll call him to see what she can have." Dick sighs. I throw the mug away as Tim carry's the broken pieces or the lamp to the trash.
"Sleepy tea?" He questions seeing it.
"Yeah it's a joke. I haven't slept in days." I grumble.
"You're not making it right then" Tim laughs. "I'll get this cleaned up and I'll make you the best tea."
"You're on." I smile.
"Alright." Dick hangs up. Sliding the phone on the counter he smiles sympathetic to me. "He sends his love"
"I didn't do anything to him." I yell sternly. "I shouldn't be shunned and punished."
"What happened?" Tim looks in between us.
"Jason slept with the enemy." I sighed turning to the mess.
"I got it Rachel." Tim walks up with the trash picking up the pieces.
Holding my belly I turn to Dick as he calls someone. "It's 2am, he's not going to be up." I sigh.
"I was hoping I could reach him." He sighs hanging up. "I'm guessing he put himself on do not disturb."
"So we do it without pain medicine." I sigh, "my powers are trying to heal it, so we gotta get to it."
"Alright. It's going to hurt." He sighs.
Tim steps to the kitchen and begins to work as Dick sits me in the chair. The pain was excruciating as he yanked my arm. Rotating it back into place the tears slipped from my arms and I felt my exhaustion weighing. Maybe this would finally help me sleep.
"You okay?" Dick let's put a shaky breath as my arm feels better.
"Yeah." I sigh looking at him with a soft smile. "Why will he talk to you. But not me?"
"Raven you slammed him in the wall and unleashed your darkness onto him." He shakes his head. "Jason said he's never seen you so close to his range of rage before. He knew he fucked up."
"He led Slade right to us. He slept with a woman 8 hours before coming to me, and brought her with. She was working with her dad. He trusted her instantly." I rub my arm. "Then when you got Stabbed through the chest and he wanted me to flee with him. Yes I was angry." I huff.
"He wanted to get you and Cora to safety." Dick sets in front of me taking my socks off he examining my swollen ankles.
"And leave you to die" I look away.
"Jason and I made a pack. No matter what happens to one of us, we get you out." He looks down. "Because a world without you, doesn't make sense to either one of us."
"You're both idiots." I roll my eyes.
"He just needs some space to forgive himself of this mistake." Dick shrugs, "give it to him. You had time to yourself."
"Where's his safe place?" I eye Dick. "I assume you know where he is"
"I do." He looks away. "And you're not going to bother him."
"I won't." I promise.
"He's at the manor." He looks me in the eye.
"W-what?" I almost laugh.
"Jason had a bit of a mental breakdown. He's been struggling a lot with stuff, and Bruce helped him." Dick sighs, "Steph accidentally drug a crowbar on the ground when they were working on a bike. It sent him into a flash back of horror."
"Oh." I gulp. How could I not have thought of Jason's trauma eventually coming up. He has seemed so well put together since he came back. "He never talks about that stuff."
"He's trying to process a lot, and I know when he's ready he will be more open with us about it." Dick smiles.
"Hey, at least he's not trying to kill me anymore." Tim smiles, handing me the mug of tea.
"I still don't understand why he won't talk to me though." I take a drink.
"Because some of his trauma involves you Rae." Dick sighs looking at me, "Joker found out about you and then used it against him. Tortured him with threats to hurt you."
"I didn't know that." I feel my breath catch and guilt consumes me.
"When Bruce found him hunkered in a closet he was mumbling about keeping you safe." He sighs, "I think it's part of the reason he didn't rush back to you."
"Well now I'm a bitch for screaming at him." I look away, taking another drink.
"You just have to give him time." Dick smiles.
"Okay." I admit defeat. A yawn slips out as I look to my shoulder.
"Tea is kicking in." Tim smirks. "Alright, I'm out." He heads to the balcony, "holler if you need me, sleep good Rachel."
"Thanks Tim." Dick smiles over his shoulder at him.
As I sigh a large kick is blown to my bladder. I sigh out slowly standing. "I have to pee." I groan. "Cora just kicked my bladder."
"Are-" he laughs as I walk past him, "are those my shorts?"
"Yup." I smirk as I walk into the bedroom. He laughs as I make it into the bathroom relieving myself again.
Walking out I yawn as Junie stretches. "Daddy's in the front room" I pet her as I walk past.
"Hm." Dick leans against the door way, "cute you refer to me as our beloved cats dad, yet I'm sleeping on the couch."
"There's not enough pillows in here for you." I smirk as I lay down, pointing at the absence of pillows on his side of the bed. Making sure I don't lay on my injured shoulder. All of the pillows lay around me. I lay my belly on top of one, shoving another in between my legs. I curl into one at my chest, and lean against another at my back.
"And if I got a pillow?" He raises a brow.
"Then I suppose I'd let you sleep on your side of the bed." I smile lightly as I curl into the pillow.
"Thank you, I need to shower." He leans over kissing my forehead, "then I'll come to bed."
"Okay." I smile softly as I close my eyes, trying to get comfy.
I don't hear or feel anything as I doze off to sleep. God I needed it. I hadn't slept in so long. I slept and slept until I finally couldn't stand my bladder anymore. Waking up softly I notice the soft glow of the sky. I smile softly, turning to find my bed empty. A sigh fills the room and I look to Dick perched in my chair with his knee up watching me. "I'm so glad you're awake." He smiles softly. Worry consumes his face.
"What happened?" I sit up feeling his worry.
"You've been asleep for 13 hours." He sighs.
"No wonder I have to pee." I go wide eye as I stand from the bed.
"I got you up a few times and carried you to the bathroom." He admits, "you were so out of it I bet you wouldn't remember."
"I don't." I walk to the bathroom. My body was sore all over from the deep sleep. Feeling relieved I walk out to Dicks watchful eyes.
"Victors here." He sighs, "he already did an ultrasound. Cora is doing good"
"He's here?" I smile softly opening the bedroom door.
"Rae." He calls out. I turn softly looking at him. "Tim gave you some magnesium which knocked you out."
"Is that safe for her?" I go wide eyed.
"Won't hurt her, but he defiantly overdid it." He stands "I was just so worried."
"I needed the sleep. I haven't been sleeping." I admit.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He questions.
"I don't know" I shrugged.
"Will you let me in again, please?" He picks my hand up holding it. His blue eyes swim with pain and my chest aches. His broad shoulders don't seem as strong. His arms look empty. Dick was in misery, and I was at fault. I sigh stepping into his arms. Laying my head on his chest. Feeling his arms wrap around me I melt into the embrace.
Focusing myself I shut my eyes as I bleed into his soul. Sending my soul self into him, I feel our bond strengthen. Seeing every thing since the last time we were teens. Feeling everything he has felt over the past few years. All I felt was his love for me.
Watching me kiss Jason in my kitchen. He loved me. Watching me cry at Jason's grave. He loved me. Watching me lay in a coma after jumping. He loved me. Holding Barbara's ring in his hands, proposing. He loved me. Seeing me sitting on my knees for red hood. He loved me. Sitting on that counter with his scotch. He loved me. Watching me drown and die. He loved me. Chasing Deathstroke on his search for me. He loved me. Dick never stopped loving me. Never. And neither did I.
Opening my eyes I feel such a glow of love. I step back looking at Dick to be met by tear filled eyes. "I didn't know how bad I hurt you." He blubbered out. The trip into his, let him take a trip into mine. He saw the pain he caused.
"I'm still yours." I lean up kissing him. His greedy hands pull me close as he suffocates my mouth with his. A slew of tear filled kisses from both of us, let the past heal.
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