To Have a Spark
Know Thyself
"There is little success where there is little laughter."
-Andrew Carnegie
"Will you let me help you find your way?"
Renalt woke with the question lingering in his head like an echo that wouldn't fade away. It somehow danced with the whole idea that he'd just taken a walk inside someone else's head. It somehow didn't clash with the idea that here he was, in the presence of truly alien life-forms – titans among men – and here they were, holding Leonard's legacy in their hands. He sat up and immediately reached out. Optimus Prime was a strangeling and something in Renalt wanted to know this strangeling. He wanted to trust this strangeling.
Another voice brought his mind to the fore. Miko approached, standing on Renalt's other side, leaving the Prime and Ratchet the space they desired in order to keep close to the dark-skinned teenager.
"Hey. You okay?" Miko lightly brushed Renalt's hand to let him know exactly where she was and which voice matched whom.
"Maybe... Was I really inside someone else's head?"
"Yeah, you were, and he was in your head. He saw you up there and kind of freaked out," Miko didn't smile as Jack and Rafael came to join her. Thinking on it, it had been an eerie experience to witness Optimus Prime losing his cool. A being like that, to make him lose his composure...
"So. What happens now?"
"Well, you could stay with us," Jack piped up. Renalt didn't turn toward the sound of his voice but the others knew he was listening.
"Why? I don't even know you."
"You know me, do you not?" The Prime rumbled quietly from somewhere above and beside him, across from the children. Renalt didn't know what to say, so he merely nodded silently. He couldn't deny that he knew this strangeling, this Optimus Prime. He knew the Cybertronian in ways none but he could.
"Hey, um, Optimus?" Rafael made himself known then.
"Yes, Rafael?" Renalt almost smiled – the perpetual gentleness of the Prime's voice was a new, constant surprise.
"Could...Could we do that too? You know...Me with 'Bee, Miko with Bulkhead and Jack with Arcee?"
There was a silence at Rafael's innocent question. He was asking them, asking to know his guardian as Renalt now began to know the Prime. He was asking if the others desired such closeness that it surpassed the most intimate of human touches. Renalt kept his silence, letting his mind roll over all that had happened in the last few days. He let the other boy's question throw itself into his thoughts – such closeness, indeed. Such oneness that Leonard would have jumped at the chance in half a heartbeat – a closeness that bordered on the dangerous. It was a place where weaknesses, flaws, faults and idiosyncrasies wouldn't be hidden. It was a place where lies could never be told. It was a place that made him think again of a mortal upon bended knee before his gods.
Could he handle this? Could the child who now asked for it understand exactly what he was asking for?
"Rafael. Do you know what you are asking?" the Prime asked the question Renalt couldn't bring himself to voice. Between himself and Renalt, a line had been crossed with the best of intentions – boundaries no human had ever known, had been crossed. Breached, and breached again to rebuild – build? – a new kind of trust. It was a line that now lay blurred in front of them, entering into a land Renalt was the first human to be taken into. One he reflected upon, listening to the Prime and the other humans around him.
"I mean, if they want to. I think it'd be...kind of nice to know 'Bee that way."
"To trust Bulk like that..."
"To be that close to Arcee..."
The others pondered the idea, tasting it as they spoke of it. What boundaries did they look at now? What horizons did they think they saw? It wasn't easy to face the idea dancing with the dark things they had all only just faced down.
"Jack, Miko, Rafael. Renalt. I ask you to go to my room for a moment. Take some time to think upon all that you have experienced."
"You're not going anywhere?" Renalt failed to hide the slight tremor in his voice. Only moments ago he had been furious at the concept of someone walking around in his own head, taking away a perceived choice to end his own life. Only moments ago, he had journeyed inside the same mind that had been within his own, learned that he was not alone in more ways than met the eye. And now, here he was, terrified that this titan would somehow vanish like the mists in a dream.
"No, Renalt. I will not. I think it will be beneficial for you to open up to one of your own kind though," the Prime didn't seem perturbed to repeat the assurance in the least. The physical life had been saved; now began the work to rebuild that life, to heal at least some of the pain he saw within.
"C'mon, dude. Let's go," Jack coaxed Renalt off the berth and offered an arm. With Renalt on his left elbow, Miko on his other side and Raf only a step behind, the four humans left the main chamber of Omega One.
s=
The four humans sat on the floor in Optimus Prime's room, at first in silence. Renalt knew this room well enough but faced with a trio of strangers, exploring further seemed a bit out of place. After another five minutes of this awkward silence, Miko spoke up. Anything to chase the silence away.
"You really loved him, didn't you?"
"Len was...everything to me," Renalt's reply was somewhere between a whisper and a held-back sob. The boy took a few breaths, determined to regain some control.
"Maybe talking about him will help? What was he like?" This voice, was Jack's.
"I...I don't know if I could tell you right now. All I can really say is that he was everything I'm not. Everything I could never be. Everything that held me together."
"Were you, you know. Boyfriends?" Jack ventured.
Renalt blushed, though it barely showed on his dark skin. "I loved him, but it wasn't like that. He didn't swing my way, and it was all right. You don't need romance to forge a bond like ours."
"So...where are you from?" Rafael tried. He found himself still in that stage between "Girls have cooties" and discovering his own beginning change into adulthood.
"Everywhere. It's easier to tell you where I've not been," Renalt almost laughed – he hadn't remained in one place for longer than five years at a time. And that was at its best.
"Did you dye your hair?" Miko chimed.
"I did not, it's my natural hair colour. I'm of Briton descent on Mum's side. Ancient Britons had darker skin and I guess it cropped up in my family."
"Weird. Cool. And why don't you ever say 'yes' or 'no'?" Miko's odango bobbed as she canted her head.
"Welsh doesn't quite have those words."
"Weird."
"Weird? That's not weird. Giant-arse robots that are alive. That is weird."
"Touché, there. They are the good guys though," Jack added.
"How many are there?"
"Of the 'Bots, or the 'Cons?" Renalt matched Raf's voice.
"The what now?"
"Okay, Renalt? You know about the war, right? The two sides are the Autobots – that's our guys. Optimus, Ratchet and the others. And then the Decepticons, under Megatron," Raf began.
"You mean that Megatronus one, the one from Kaon? Deep voice that sounds like he's chewing on rocks?"
"Yeah, that guy," Miko snickered at the description of Megatron "chewing rocks".
"So, uh...Miko, and...?"
"Jack."
"Rafael. Or Raf, for short."
"I'd say it's nice to meet you, but..."
"You think we think you're nuts?" Miko supplied.
"I do."
"You need help. But you're not nuts. You're hurting, and that's not nuts. It just needs healing," Jack intoned.
"You lost someone too?"
"We all did. Me...it was my dad. Better left unmentioned, as Mom says."
"I almost lost Bulk...he came into base after a mission, hurt bad," Renalt matched Miko's voice.
"Same with 'Bee."
"Are you in this war too?" Renalt's tears trickled to a stop as his curiosity again began to show.
"We kind of ran...fell...into it face first. Well, Raf and I did. Miko just kind of nose-dived in. She's the troublemaker in our little trio."
For his trouble, Jack got a punch on his arm. It was strange, so terribly wonderful and strange to sit here in the midst of a room that belonged to a colossal alien comprised of metal. So strange it was, to sit here amid strangers Renalt barely knew and not face ridicule or reactions of irrational fear. He soon found himself asking the questions.
"So...this Optimus Prime runs the show on the good guys' side. Megatronus on the bad guys' side. Are there others of those Decepticons?"
"Well, there's Starscream. Nobody's sure though if he wants Megatron's approval, or his job," Jack said. Rafael pulled out his laptop and played recordings of each Decepticon's voice.
"Hm. Weaseling, power-hungry turncoat with a sycophant's personality? He sounds like he's perpetually got a cold," Renalt raised his eyebrows a little at the sound of the played-back voices.
"That's about right," Jack confirmed.
"Then there's Soundwave. He's the creepy one. I don't think he speaks or even has a face. He's got a pet, kind of a drone called Laserbeak," Raf continued.
"Don't forget Knock-Out," Miko added.
"So, who's that one?"
"Megatron's twisted doctor. The Doctor of Doom, blaaaah!" Miko charaded at being dissected alive and earned a laugh from the others.
No one told him about Airachnid.
Renalt cleared his throat, tensed his neck a little and produced a nearly spot-on imitation of Starscream. He didn't know why – some devil put his knickers in a twist to do something to at least try and laugh, perhaps.
"What can I do to assist you, Master?"
It wasn't long before all four were howling with laughter as each took their turns impersonating Cybertronians on both sides to the best (and worst) of their ability.