Shikaku had been prepared for something to go wrong from the moment the expression in Hyuuga Hotaru's eyes had changed from wariness to defiance.
He just hadn't accounted for the window of the council room imploding, nor the blur that burst into the room, nor the ball of chakra the figure launched at Hinata, knocking the girl clean off her feet.
(he didn't let himself think about the fact that the uncanny hold Hinata's KI had had over the room had broken as soon as the attack had connected, the girl's chakra signature vanishing just as swiftly)
And while the room around him sprung to action, Shikaku himself stayed out of the immediate chaos that ensued and instead focused on restraining Hotaru, letting Kuromaru and Kakashi's ninken take care of the intruder.
All in all, the attack was over in less than ten seconds.
For a moment, everything was still, only the wheezing, wet sounds of Hotaru's breathing and the steadydrip dropof the intruder's blood onto the floor breaking the silence.
And then, the blind Hyuuga Elder rose wordlessly from her seat and headed to the front of the room where Hinata had last been standing and now lay, half-hidden by the table.
Shikaku's eyes tracked the Elder, his gaze drawn to her movement like a moth to a flame. He watched, his heart in his throat as the Elder bent down, the top of the table momentarily hiding her from view.
And as she straightened, Hinata's body in her arms, Shikaku felt bile rise up his throat.
Because suddenly, there was nothing to hide the limp and lifeless way Hinata's head lolled over the Elder's bent arm.
Nothing to cover the fist-sized hole in her sternum, or the fact that her cream jacket was stained black with blood, or the way that what little of the girl's flesh that was visible was torn and burnt and bleeding.
Nothing to distract from the fact that Hinata's chest was still, no breath in her lungs to make it rise and fall.
Kakashi made a sudden noise then, not quite a gasp and not quite a whimper, and when Shikaku turned to him, the Copy-nin was a second too slow in hiding the expression of pure devastation on his face.
Shikaku's heart broke all over again as he watched Kakashi's eye track the Elder head for the door, Tsunade hot on her heels, and Kakashi's gaze following them until the door slammed shut behind them.
It was because Shikaku had never once looked away that he saw the moment the grief on Kakashi's face was wiped clear, an eerie, mask-like blankness replacing it.
A defence mechanism against every one of the man's ghosts being brought back to the forefront with a single moment of inattention. Ghosts Shikaku had inadvertently helped bring back.
And Shikaku's logical mind also knew that the moment they deal with Danzo and clean up the mess of ROOT and Hotaru's involvement, Kakashi will blamehimfor this loss.
And Shikaku knows that he will be right to do so.
After all, it had been Shikaku who had placed Kakashi in Hinata's path, Shikaku who had insisted he help the girl, Shikaku who hadencouragedthe odd dynamic once it began to take root.
It had been Shikaku who had argued in Hinata's favour, convincing the Sannin and his friends alike that the little Hyuuga could handle the mission she'd set herself. Shikaku who had argued that behind the façade of shyness and deference hid a steel trap of a mind that could and would take on the Hyuuga Clan and win, with almost nobody realising that she had even been playing.
And it had been Shikaku who had forgotten that Hinata letting him know of her movements in the past had been shouldn't have expected to be kept in the loop after that, not when he had refused to keep Hinata and her team in the loop about Torune's whereabouts over the last week.
But he should have still planned for her. Expected the unexpected, read between the lines.
But he had not. And now, here they were.
The most promising mind of her generation snuffed out, just like that. In-Village, surrounded by adults who should have protected her, yet had been the ones whose inaction had put her in this situation in the first place.
Yes, Kakashi would be right to blame him.
After all, Shikaku already did.
Tsunade walked back into the meeting room, her hands bloodied, ears ringing, mouth set in a grim line, and a secret she'd made a vow not to reveal just yet weighing her heart.
She watched the robotic way Kakashi yanked out the dead attacker's tongue, the ROOT seal stark against the pink muscle. She listened dispassionately to Hotaru's wheezing breaths, Shikaku's shadowy restraints having pierced the man's lungs, and felt vindictive satisfaction that nobody had even pretended to help the Hyuuga Head until she returned.
She pressed the hand stained with his granddaughter's blood to Hotaru's back, did the bare minimum to ensure he wouldn't die before his time, and put the man into a medical coma, feeling it take when he dropped limp in Shikaku's binds.
Then, she walked back to her seat, her head held high, bloodied hands in plain sight, and knew in her heart that the final domino for Danzo's downfall had just been set.
Tsunade also knew, even as she caught the grief in Shikaku and Tsume's eyes, the utter blankness to Kakashi's face, and the subdued, shell-shocked demeanour of the other Heads and representatives when they realised what her continued silence meant, that there would be no better moment to strike.
Between Yamato and Genma, they had not only been able to catch some ROOT agents alone, but also talk them into revealing their birth names and, sometimes, their faces. Inoichi and Ibiki had then been able to connect the names revealed to those on the MIA and KIA lists, painting a truly depressing picture of just how long Danzo had been operating right under their noses.
The named, demasked agents had given them all the proof they'd needed of ROOT's continued operation. That, combined with Koharu's steady and damning supply of information on what she knew of Danzo's movements over the last two decades, Inoichi and Ibiki's meticulous digging through Intel and T in search of documents signed by the living dead, and the files Torune had stolen from Danzo's office detailing the Elder's many crimes, gave them evidence not just for ROOT'sexistence, but for Danzo's personal involvement too, his filthy, greedy, power-hungry fingers all over the organisation's conceptionandits continued functioning.
(Hiruzen-sensei's fingers, too, but that was something Tsunade tried not to think about)
The dominoes were all there, lined up, just waiting for her to brief the Clan Heads, gently knock down the first piece, and watch Danzo's underground empire come crashing down like a house of cards.
Instead, after Tsunade quickly but thoroughly brought the gathered Heads up to speed on what she and some of their peers had been up to over the last year, she took aim at the first piece and booted it down with all her might.
Kurenai sighed shakily, not even able to gather the energy to tell Kiba off for using excessive force.
It had been Gai's idea to bring the Rookies together again, though to his credit, Gai hadn't even tried to pretend that it was for the kids' benefit.
No, this time, it was exclusively so that Gai and Asuma could keep an eye on her and Kakashi, with the added hope that the presence of their students would keep them from doing something stupid.
Like kagecide. Or tracking down Shikaku and punching his teeth in. Or hunting down every last one of the Main House Hyuuga Elders and making thembegfor death.
Kurenai had never been good at handling grief.
Before, with Hizashi-sensei, Yugao and Genma had helped her through the worst of it. But this time, she hadn't seen hide nor hair of Yugao since the news had broken, and Genma had his hands full with helping Ebisu keep Shino and Kiba in one piece, not to mention his own grief.
When she'd first been told the news, Kurenai hadn't believed it.
The reveal of Elder Shimura's treason had shaken the Village, but to Kurenai, knowing what she did, it hardly been surprising. One thing she hadn't expected had been the full-scale, Village-wide witch-hunt that the Elder's arrest had turned into.
She'd heard whispers of a landscape-levelling fight, of stolen Sharingan and conspiracies going back to the Nidaime's reign, but she hadn't been sure what to believe.
Particularly since Kakashi, who had reportedly been right in the heart of the confrontation, had been nowhere to be found afterwards.
She also hadn't expected the announcement of Elder Homura's death, nor of the Hyuuga Clan going into lockdown, a twenty-four-hour ANBU guard preventing anyone other than Ibiki and Inoichi from coming or leaving.
But Hinata hardly slept at the Compound anymore, particularly since her sister and cousin had been disinherited, so Kurenai hadn't been worried about her student getting caught in the lockdown.
At least until Hinata didn't show up to training the next morning.
After the initial half an hour of grace had passed, Kurenai had taken the boys and headed to the gates the Hyuuga Clan, only to find out from the ANBU guard that she'd been right: Hinata hadn't been at the Compound when it had gone into lockdown.
Back to square one and growing more concerned by the minute, Kurenai had pivoted and headed for the Hokage tower, Shino and Kiba in tow. If nothing else, the mission desk should have at least been able to tell them how long Hinata had been sent out for, though it had grated at Kurenai that she had once again been left in the dark about her own student's whereabouts.
But before they had even made it to the mission assignment room, Shikaku had stepped into their path, his face looking like it had been carved from stone. Kurenai had raised an eyebrow, not having expected to see the Nara Head considering the rumours of what had gone down with ROOT and Shimura, but a crack in that perfect blankness stilled her tongue.
Because Shikaku had looked exhausted, yes, but more importantly, he'd lookedguilty.
"I'm sorry." He'd murmured, his voice weighted and exhausted, and when Kurenai's heart had lurched at the tone, dread settling in, Shikaku had taken a steadying breath and, eyes downcast, ripped her heart right out of her chest with his next words: "Hinata is dead."
Kurenai had frozen, the words not making sense.
Then, after a few seconds had ticked by with no more forthcoming, she'd blinked and looked around, waiting for someone to come around the corner and reveal Shikaku to be a clone, a particularly convincing illusion, or a distasteful prank.
Except nobody had.
And then Kiba had begun towhine, a low, wounded sound eerily reminiscent of the one from their fourth C-Rank that still haunted Kurenai's nightmares. Not even three seconds later, Kurenai had heard the buzzing of Shino's kikaichu pick up in volume, and her heart had skipped a beat.
She knew what those sounds meant. She may not have known the mechanics, but she knew enough about what the sounds her students were makingmeant.
They meant Shikaku was telling the truth.
And Kurenai-
-Kurenai had lost control.
Her memories of the next few hours were patchy at best, flashes of colours and snippets of sounds, but the one constant had been Shino and Kiba right at her side, just as broken, just as distraught, just as destructive.
She vaguely remembered being restrained and nicking someone with Genma's promotion gift, remembered Kiba biting someone, remembered Shino nearly draining a mission desk chunin dry with his kikaichu.
Her next clear memory after that had been of blinking back to awareness on the floor of Kiba's living room, stretched out on her back with her students around her. Shino had been plastered to her side, quiet and nearly catatonic even as his body vibrated with the buzz of his kikaichu, while Kiba had been curled up by her legs, his head on her hip, Akamaru clutched close to his chest like a physical barrier between the boy and the rest of the world.
Kurenai had stared listlessly at the ceiling, trying to figure out what had snapped her out of the dissociative nothingness she'd been floating in. The gaps in her memory had felt less like the few times she'd drunk until she'd blacked out and more like someone had rifled through her head and snipped those memories right out, the cuts too clean, the absences too glaring, more cut tapes than burnt-out holes.
Then, Tsume had drifted into her field of vision, the woman's face upside-down with how Kurenai was lying, the older kunoichi's usually bright eyes pinched at the corners with grief and guilt.
"You knew." Kurenai had murmured, realisation dawning slowly, the words more of a statement than a question.
And Tsume had sighed, moving to sit on the sofa to Kurenai's left, though she never strayed out of Kurenai's peripheral vision, like she wasn't sure how Kurenai would react. Apparently, whatever had happened between getting the news from Shikaku and waking up on the Inuzuka's living room floor had made the Inuzuka Headwaryof Kurenai.
Lovely.
"I did." Tsume had confirmed quietly, not even trying to pretend she hadn't known what Kurenai had been referring to.
"How?"
"It happened in the Council of Clans meeting." Tsume had confessed, closing her eyes and tipping her head back, as if unable to look at Kurenai as she talked. "I could not prevent it. None of us could."
"A room full of the Village's strongest, and you couldn't protect one chunin?" Kurenai had asked, her words all the sharper for the dull tone they were delivered in.
"It was a surprise attack." Tsume had retorted, livelier than before but not as sharp as Kurenai knew the woman could be, nor as sharp as her question deserved. "A ROOT agent. Attacked when Hinata mentioned Shimura by name."
"That doesn't answer my question." Kurenai had drawled back, more alert, narrowing her eyes at the older woman even though they both knew that she wasn't about to do anything that could've disturbed Kiba and Shino's sleep.
"Did you know your student's KI manifested as despair?" Tsume had replied a propos nothing, her tone conversational in the way Kakashi sometimes got when he was being particularly defensive. "A hopelessness so strong it freezes you in place, like a needle of ice straight to the heart?"
Kurenai…hadn't known that.
She'd never witnessed Hinata lose control. She'd had it described to her, by Hana, then by Yugao, the flashes of rage, the brief lapses in her student's legendary control, but she'd never seen it happen firsthand.
"I didn't." she'd confessed on a sigh, wondering absently where Tsume was going with her line of questioning but too tired to press.
"We found out the hard way." The Inuzuka had bit out, and there was a note in her voice that would've otherwise set Kurenai's teeth on edge if she'd had the presence of mind to worry about that sort of things just then. "So I'm sorry, Yuhi. God knows Hinata didn't deserve it. But don't be so quick to accuse others of simply letting her die. You will need your friends, particularly after your stunt in the mission office."
And Kurenai had blinked, the glaze and apathy that grief had brought with it briefly clearing as she frowned at Tsume.
"WhatdidI do?"
And Tsume had huffed a humourless laugh that Kurenai chose not to read into and pinned Kurenai with a weighted look.
"Beyond the property damage and you and the boys sending four Konoha shinobi to the hospital and two directly to Psych?" She asked absently, and Kurenai could tell the question was rhetorical. "They had to find a Yamanaka to knock you out because all three of you were able to resist the Kurama genjutsu Kaoru had tried first."
Kurenai had blinked slowly as she absorbed that, but Tsume hadn't been finished.
"You, I could have understood. But Kiba and Shino?" She'd snarked, accusatory, right before that piercing, weighed look turned into one of concern. "Just what have you been teaching them?"
Kurenai had closed her eyes, fighting against the tears that threatened to escape and murmured a damning: "Only what I thought they needed to survive."
And Tsume had sighed, too many emotions to decipher contained in that single sound, and Kurenai tried not to feel too relieved when she heard Tsume get up and walk away, though not before the woman paused and, in the softest voice Kurenai had ever heard from her, offered: "I'm sorry for your loss."
And that had been it. Kurenai's face had screwed up and, safe in the half-dark of the room, she'd finally allowed the tears to escape.
That was why, three days after that conversation in Tsume's living room, Kurenai didn't bother telling Kiba off for using excessive force against Gai's kunoichi student.
Gai and Asuma wanted to keep an eye on her and Kakashi? Fine. Kurenai would come willingly, would do what was asked of her, make it easy for them to play concerned friends.
But that didn't mean she had to be nice about it.
She was aware that she'd…drifted, through the last few days. The boys, too.
She'd left the boys to sleep at the Inuzuka Compound and gone to hunt down Asuma. She'd pieced together a rough timeline of events in her more lucid moments since her conversation with Tsume and been slammed with the realisation that both Kakashi and Asuma hadknown.
Known and hadn't told her.
She could sympathise just enough with Kakashi's own guilt to understand why Kakashi had ran as soon as his part in the mess with Danzo was over.
But Asuma? Asuma would get no such grace from her.
So, when a messenger genin emerged from the treeline and called 'Yuhi Kurenai?', Kurenai didn't even pretend to have been paying attention to the Rookies.
"Yes?" She asked the genin flatly, too numb to bother with her usual politeness.
"You have a non-urgent summon to the Hokage's office." The messenger informed her, then disappeared just as suddenly as he had appeared.
"Any idea what that's about?" Asuma asked, but Kurenai ignored him, focusing on flaring her chakra in her pattern for Kiba, then for Shino.
She knew that her shrink would have a field-day with the warm satisfaction that filled her when Kiba and Shino were at her side within a heartbeat, leaving the fight and conversation they'd been engaged in without a second thought.
Kiba tilted his head, nose twitching, though he stayed silent, simply waiting, the stillness to his body simultaneously unnatural and familiar.
"Got a summon to the Hokage." Kurenai answered the wordless question, not missing the sharp look Gai shot her but simply not caring enough to acknowledge it. "Let's go."
"Rei, are you sure it's wise to-?" Asuma began, but Kurenai turned on her heel and bolted, that warmth from earlier only burrowing deeper when she realised her boys hadn't hesitated to follow.
The walk to the Hokage's office was silent and Kurenai was willing to bet that they were all thinking of the last time they had stepped foot in the Hokage tower and howthathad ended.
"Yuhi." Tsunade greeted though her eyebrow hitched up when Kiba and Shino slipped into the room after her.
"The summon had only been addressed to you." Shikaku observed in that weighted way of his, neither sharp nor disinterested, and Kurenai bared her teeth in an expression that even she wouldn't have called a smile.
"Respectfully, if you think I am letting either of them out of my sight anytime soon, you are not as smart as they say."
She knew it was rude, knew that the 'respectfully' at the start was anything but, and the lack of honorific was telling, but she was simply too wrung-out to care.
She did take small comfort in the way Kiba and Shino immediately stepped closer to her side, Kiba's fingers finding her belt-loop in a way that would have been endearing in any other context but now only made her heart heavy with grief.
"Nobody will attack your students, Kurenai." Inoichi soothed, sending her one of his patented half-concerned, half-pitying looks that made Kurenai's skin crawl. "The Village is safe."
"Is it, senpai?" Kurenai asked back, her voice saccharine sweet, eyes wide and guileless before she let a sneer take over, her next words a near hiss, "Do you want to say that to Hi- to my third student?"
"Okay, that's enough." Tsunade demanded when Inoichi flinched, and Kurenai was briefly grateful that none of the other adults in the room called her out on the way she couldn't bring herself to say Hinata's name. "This is why I called you here, and honestly, it might even be good that you brought your kids."
Then, Tsunade regarded Kurenai evenly, her expression unusually serious, though Kurenai didn't miss the quiet breath the woman released, as if steeling herself.
"Hinata's alive, Yuhi."
Kurenai froze.
For the second time is as many days, her ears started ringing and the world drifted out of focus.
When she came back to herself, it was to the sound of Kiba's whine, high and sustained, and the tail-end of whatever Shikaku had been saying that she'd missed completely.
"-What?" Kurenai asked, cutting off the Nara Head, the word wrenched out of her, and Shikaku turned to her, his expression conflicted, though he held her gaze with an ease that rankled.
"Hinata is alive." He confirmed, his voice steady –always so fucking steady– and Kurenai wrapped her fingers around Kiba's wrist where the boy was still clinging to her trousers, her grip probably too tight for comfort, but Kiba didn't protest.
She needed- she needed-!
"I- Kiba?"
And it spoke to-somethingthat Kiba knew immediately what she was asking for, but it didn't make his next words any easier to accept.
"He's- he's telling the truth." He breathed, his voice sounding as frantic as Kurenai felt, hand shaking in Kurenai's hold. "But he'd been telling the truth before, too, so I don't- I don'tknow, sensei."
"I was telling you what I believed to be the truth." Shikaku corrected, and Kurenai wished he was less perceptive, that his sharp eyes weren't trained right on her boys' fragile, wounded hearts. "This time, however, I am telling you what Iknowto be the truth."
"I can't do riddles right now." Kurenai snapped, though it came out more pleading than demanding. "How can- how can she be both alive and dead?"
"Hinata did die. Everyone in the Council of Clans meeting saw her die." Tsunade finally interjected, and Kurenai wasn't the only one who flinched at the words 'Hinata' and 'die' in the same sentence. "What nobody saw, however, was her being brought back to life by the Hyuuga Elder who'd carried her out of the room."
Kurenai spent long seconds processing the words, but it was Shino who spoke.
"That same day?" he murmured, and Kurenai, not liking the empty note in his voice, curled her other hand around Shino's nape, a comfort and a restraint in one.
The fact that he didn't shrug her off, even leaned into the touch, only fed the greedy, protective thing in Kurenai's chest that demanded she take her kids andrun.
"Within minutes of her heart stopping." Tsunade confirmed, and Kurenai tensed, her grip on the boys tightening.
"How?"
"A forbidden technique. A life for a life." Tsunade replied easily, meeting Kurenai's gaze evenly, and Kurenai grabbed whatever relief that threatened to bubble to the surface and forced it back, letting her voice drop to the inflectionless drone of ANBU.
"The Hyuuga Elder gave her life for Hinata's?"
"She did."
"And you knew." A statement, not a question, but Tsunade still did her the courtesy of answering.
"I did."
This time, Kiba's growl was not one of confusion or anguish, but fury, and it was echoed by the audible buzzing of Shino's kikaichu, the muscles under Kurenai's hand growing tense.
"Stand down, brats." Tsunade commanded carelessly, but when her words only made the buzzing grow in volume, she turned her reproaching gaze to Kurenai. "Yuhi."
"You think I am going to tell them off?" Kurenai laughed, but it was far from a joyful sound. "You let them- letus- believe that Hinata was dead!"
She was too close to hysteria for comfort, but she didn't think Tsunade fully understood the scale of the betrayal.
"It was necessary." Shikaku murmured, and Kurenai almost rejoiced in the opportunity to round on him again, her lips pulled back in a grin that was more a snarl than anything else.
"Oh yeah? For what?"
"To make sure that Danzo and his strays didn't come after her again!" Tsunade snapped, hitting the desk with the flat of her hand, no chakra in the hit, yet still managing to make the wood groan and tremble. "A ROOT agent killed your student, Yuhi! A ROOT agent Danzo had specifically planted outside of the meeting room, who had specificordersto eliminate her!"
When Tsunade looked like she'd move on to hitting Kurenai next if pressed again, Kurenai switched her focus to Shikaku, the wordless demand clear.
"Danzo had caught wind of Hinata's plans." The Nara Head offered, sighing tiredly. "We don't know how, or when. But he had ordered his agents to take her out if she got too close."
And she got too close,was the wordless conclusion, which Kurenai shuddered at. She had no idea about what Hinata could have uncovered that would've sent someone like Shimura Danzo after her, but she couldn't help the feeling of betrayal at the fact that Hinata hadn't shared it with her.
"So, as you can see, keeping her dead was the best way of ensuring she'd besafewhile we cleaned house." Tsunade concluded, but there was something in her voice that had Kurenai thinking of what other motivations the woman could've had for keeping Hinata's survival a sec-!
"…And you needed our reactions to sell the lie." Shino murmured, getting to the likely reason a second before Kurenai, his voice dull, robotic.
A flicker of guilt passed over Tsunade's face, but she banished it just as quickly. "They certainly helped."
"ROOT is gone now?" Kurenai interrupted, squeezing Kiba's wrist and Shino's nape once before consciously relaxing her grip.
"The agents have been split between Psych and the Yamanaka Clan for extensive therapy and reconditioning." Tsunade confirmed, eyeing her warily. "And Danzo is ash and dust."
"And Hotaru?"
"Deep in T until the Hyuuga Clan plugs the power vacuum and decides what to do with him."
"Good." Kurenai dropped her hand from Shino's nape and grabbed his hand instead, tugging lightly as she tossed over her shoulder an offhand, "Keep us off the mission roster for the next fortnight!"
And then she was turning on her heel and all but running out of the office, Kiba and Shino right behind her as they ran to the hospital.
But what Kurenai hadn't accounted for, once they finally arrived, was Kagane Natsume.
Either the older woman had a sixth sense for when Kurenai was going to do something stupid, or Kurenai just had the worst fucking timing imaginable when it came to the other kunoichi. Regardless, Kurenai had thought that getting the receptionist to tell them Hinata's room had been the most difficult part, but she swiftly changed her mind when they arrived to Hinata's corridor and found Natsume waiting outside of Hinata's room, arms crossed over her chest and expression effecting boredom and no small amount of judgement when her gaze landed on Kurenai's harried state.
(Kurenai tried not to think about the fact that her student was being kept in the hospital's basement. The one place with reinforced walls, metal doors, one-way windows, and constant monitoring. She tried not to think about what it implied about Hinata's condition, tried not to think about what Hinata's shrink being in the ward full-time meant. She couldn't, she couldn't, she wouldn't-!)
"How is she?" Kurenai asked as soon as she was within speaking distance, skipping over the pleasantries that neither she nor Kagane had patience for, the memory of the last time she'd been in one room with the woman still too fresh.
"Alive." Natsume replied, gaze sweeping over Kiba and Shino with such detachment that Kurenai felt a shiver go down her spine. "But you know this ward."
"I do." Kurenai agreed, because it wasn't as if she could lie to Kagane Natsume of all people, then added snidely, "And it'syourjob to make sure she stays that way, isn't it?"
"Mmhm." Kagane hummed noncommittally, not rising to the bait, though her eyes were sharp. "Which is why I am out here."
And then, she looked at Kurenai and her gaze pinned her in place more effectively than any Shadow Possession Kurenai had ever been on the receiving end of.
"She died." Natsume announced flatly, expression not changing even when Kiba visibly flinched. "And, according to her cousin, there was at least some degree of premeditation there."
"Pre- are you saying Hinata killed herself?" Kurenai demanded in disbelief, standing straighter in response to the indignity of what Natsume was implying.
"Not by her own hand." The woman replied, the words an acknowledgement, but far from an apology, "But she was aware of this eventuality."
Kurenai's throat was dry. "Hinata isn't suicidal."
And then Natsume smiled, mean and flinty and humourless.
"Unfortunately for you, that's not for you to decide." She retorted, and if not for how close Shino and Kiba were standing to her, Kurenai might've tried to throttle the woman. "More importantly, shedied. She died, and it activated her seal. Her dojutsu is destroyed, though the jury is still out on her sight."
Kurenai's ire was momentarily replaced by confusion, and she couldn't help but frown and narrow her eyes at the other woman. "What do you mean?"
"The Caged Bird seal. It doesn't destroy the eyes so much as it does the chakra vessels that fuel the Byakugan." Natsume informed them dryly, as if this was information they should have already possessed. "Unfortunately, the chakra vessels for the dojutsu are often intertwined with the optic nerves. Tsunade has been working on regenerating the nerves when she can, but even she can't guarantee that Hinata will ever regain her sight."
Kurenai's stomach dropped, her mind running through their likelihood of remaining a team with one member blind, but outwardly, she bared her teeth at Natsume and all but growled: "I don't care if she's blind, I care that she's alive."
Natsume laughed then, and Kurenai felt Kiba flinch back, whatever he smelled from the other woman making his hackles rise.
"Oh, you seem to be operating under the mistaken assumption that I am telling you this for your benefit." Natsume mocked, the look in her eyes decidedly unkind. "I couldn't care less what you think. But I am not going to let you waltz in there and undo three days of work with a thoughtless comment."
And Kurenai was officially done, her wordless pact with herself to not antagonise Hinata's shrink broken by the woman's sheer audacity.
"Can you table your self-importance for one seco-!"
"-Sensei." Shino cut her off, insinuating himself between Kurenai and Natsume, his eyes on the older woman. "If I understand correctly, Hinata is being monitored for suspected suicidal ideation, and she's currently blind. Is there anything else we need to be aware of before we see her?"
Kagane studied Shino for a few seconds, and Kurenai had the distinct impression of a predator sizing up their prey. But to Kurenai's surprise, the woman actually answered Shino's question, though her expression remained largely unchanged.
"She hasn't been told about what happened when she was 'dead'." she revealed, gaze flickering from Shino, to Kiba, then landing on Kurenai. "To her, it's been three days since the Council of Clans meeting."
Kurenai stared at Natsume, not sure she liked what she was hearing. "…It's been over a week."
Natsume didn't even blink. "I am aware."
"Does she know why she's here?" Kurenai pressed, feeling a cold shiver go down her spine at Natsume's tone.
"She hasn't been told the details." The woman allowed, completely unrepentant. Then, inexplicably, the corner of her lips ticked up, and an almost proud glint entered her eyes. "But I do not doubt that she will start putting it together soon."
After having spent the better part of two decades around people like Kakashi, Yugao, and Genma, Kurenai was more than versed in reading between the lines.
"You want us to lie." She concluded tonelessly, the words a statement not a question.
"If you want to see her, then yes." Kagane confirmed, meeting and holding Kurenai's gaze, as if daring her to disagree.
But Kurenai only sighed, trying not to let the defeat she felt seep into her posture as she admitted, weary and exhausted: "I wish she'd gotten anyone else."
And Natsume was too old to flinch and too canny to let any hurt show, but whatever light there had been in the woman's eyes flickered out like a candle in the wind, a grim, humourless smile stretching her lips.
"But she gotme."
When Hinata had first woken up, everything had hurt.
But…she had woken up.
Her first few seconds awake had been spent simply marvelling at being conscious.
Because sherememberedlooking down at herself after the window had exploded and she'd been thrown back into the wall. Remembered seeing a fist-sized through-and-through hole in her right shoulder and stomach. Remembered feeling her vision grow grey around the edges.
And then she remembered the nothing.
And even as she had woken up and opened her eyes, she'd found that her vision remained dark. It had taken her long seconds of panicked thrashing to focus enough to feel the fabric against her forehead and the bridge of her nose, longer still to tune into her surroundings enough to hear the nurses trying to catch her attention.
Calm down, Hyuuga-chan, you'll hurt yourself!
It's just a blindfold, Hyuuga-chan, you're okay!
Careful or you'll pull out your IV!
Mind your shoulder, Hyuuga-chan!
Eventually, Hinata had subsided enough for the nurses to step closer and administer her whatever medication that had made her go straight back to sleep, and the pain she'd briefly felt in her shoulder when she'd thrashed had been absent from her dreams.
When she'd next woken up, she'd felt a presence at her bedside, even though her eyes had still been covered and her chakra sense had felt oddly muffled.
The person at her bedside had been quiet, sitting by the head of Hinata's bed but not touching her, their breathing slow and steady, their pen occasionally scratching against paper. It had been the absence of sound more than anything else, particularly when Hinata's heart monitor had switched from the slow beat of sleep to the quicker beat of wakefulness, that had fully alerted her to the identity of her silent visitor.
"…Kagane-san?"
Hinata hadn't had enough shame left in her to cringe at how hoarse her voice had sounded, gravelly and hoarse with sleep and disuse. She'd jumped at the sudden cold against her skin but gratefully accepted the glass of water that had been pressed into her hand, taking careful sips to ease her parched throat.
And though Kagane hadn't spoken, the woman's quiet presence at her side had been comforting enough to lull Hinata right back to a dreamless sleep with no need for the drugs.
That had been the first day.
The second day had been much the same, though Hinata had spent marginally more time awake, occupying herself by counting the different nurses who'd come into her room to check on her.
Through it all, Kagane's silent, steady presence in the corner of her room never once wavered.
The third day had brought with it Tsunade, the woman's brusque manner almost comforting in contrast to the nurses who seemed to be tiptoeing around Hinata and her psychologist, their demeanour unnervingly chipper for the otherwise silent room.
On her fourth day of wakefulness, Kagane had finally left her vigil, and Hinata had realised why not ten minutes afterwards. Hinata had cried with relief, whatever blindfold she'd still had over her eyes soaking up the tears as Kiba and Shino had hugged her so tight she hadn't been able to breathe, but Hinata would've sooner suffocated than broken the moment.
Luckily, Kurenai had pulled the boys off her in time, and the woman's own hug had been far more cautious. Yet there had been something in the embrace that had made Hinata pause, an inexplicable tension to Kurenai's body, though the relief in the gentle hands that had carded through her hair and smoothed over her shoulders with almost reverent gentleness had been palpable.
Although her team hadn't been allowed to stay long, they had been back the very next day, and no sooner had they left did Neji come in, Hanabi in tow. Hinata had been glad her eyes had been covered during that visit, because the tension in Neji's voice had told her that she wouldn't have liked whatever look had been on her cousin's face. Hanabi, meanwhile, had been almost catatonic, still where she'd lay curled into Hinata's side, and Hinata would have thought that her sister had been asleep if not for the wetness that she had felt against her skin where Hanabi's tears had soaked the shoulder of her nightgown.
On Hinata's sixth day awake, Hana had come in, and after Hana, Genma. Though neither had spoken much, the way Genma's hand had shaken when he'd laid it on the crown of her head in what had become a touch Hinata now unconsciously associated with the man had said more than any words could have, as had the kiss that he'd pressed to her hair before he'd taken his leave.
On the seventh day, Yugao had come. Unlike the others, who had asked her how she was doing and tried to be careful with her injuries, Yugao had simply hopped onto Hinata's bed and curled around her, no words needing to be exchanged between them. They'd laid like that for what had felt like hours, Yugao's fingers tight around Hinata's wrist, the pads of her index and middle fingers resting over Hinata's pulse. The sleep Hinata had been able to catch with Yugao covering her like her own protective blanket had been some of the most restful she'd gotten since she'd woken up, the other kunoichi like her own personal nightmare-repellent
By the eighth day, however, Hinata had begun to grow suspicious of the constant company, though she opted to wait and observe some more before making her move.
Which brought her to the present: her tenth day awake, and alone in her room for the first in a week.
Hinata felt a twinge of reluctant amusement at that thought and mentally corrected herself, not sure what to feel at the realisation that even her definition of 'alone' had changed over the last week: the steady sound of Kagane's pen scratching paper somewhere to her left had become almost background noise in Hinata's hours between-visitors, the woman having hardly left her side since she'd woken up.
That constant attention was part of what finally motivated Hinata to speak up, unable to pretend, even to herself, that there wasn't something severely wrong with her current situation.
"Kagane-san." she called quietly, confident by now that Kagane wouldn't ignore her, no matter how infrequently they'd actually spoken since Hinata had woken up outside of what Kagane had termed her 'wellness check sessions'. Then, before Kagane gave any sign of having heard her, Hinata barrelled on, graceless and stumbling but needing to get the words out before she lost her nerve. "I- Have I been placed on suicide watch?"
Hinata heard Kagane slowly put her pen and clipboard down, shuffling around more than usual, as if needing to buy herself time, but the response, when it came, was quick and direct, no hesitation to the words. "Of course."
Hinata's breath shuddered out of her as if she'd been punched.
"When I-I asked Kurenai-sensei how it's possible that people are visiting me every day, she said p-people just missed me." Hinata revealed, not sure if Kagane had caught that conversation since the woman always made herself scarce whenever her team visited.
"I'm sure they did." Kagane acknowledged, though there was something in her voice that gave Hinata the distinct impression that Kagane was biting her tongue to not say something else. "But you are also on suicide watch, yes."
"I didn't- I'm not-why?"
And as Hinata heard Kagane get to her feet, she was slammed by the realisation that Kagane had never been so noisy before. Which meant that the woman wastryingto make noise, as if compensating for Hinata's inability to see her move, and the thought made her chest feel warm.
Then, her musings on the matter were interrupted by Kagane settling down in the chair beside Hinata's bed and letting out a sigh, before, with a voice like she was talking about the weather, she announced:
"Because you died, Hinata."
Natsume knew that she should've felt more guilt at the flinch her words provoked in the Hyuuga, but she had beenwaitingfor Hinata to ask, and now that she had, Natsume wasn't about to back off until she said everything she wanted to say to the girl.
"You died, and when he was told of your death, your cousin told the Godaime about the last conversation you had with him." she continued, merciless in the face of Hinata's flinch, though she made sure her tone stayed calm and factual. "You told him you'd kill yourself 'if that's what it took'."
It spoke to how much Hinata trusted her that the girl didn't even try to catch her instinctive reaction, and the bitter twist to her lip that reeked of betrayal revealed far more about how Hinata felt than any words ever could.
The childish, "I didn'twantto die." that followed was almost a relief, the sudden vehemence in Hinata's voice a welcome development.
Still-
"Maybe." Natsume agreed, willing to allow the Hyuuga that concession. But then again- "Maybe not."
When Hinata reeled back as if slapped, Natsume sighed again, suddenly feeling every one of her almost sixty years.
"Tsunade's problem is how calm you are." She revealed, and Hinata's earlier grimace morphed into a thoughtful frown, her head tilting unconsciously even though she couldn't actually see Natsume.
"I told her that you've always been calm." Natsume continued once she was certain that she had the girl's full attention. "You're very rational. Mature beyond your years, some might say. I know this, have known this for a while."
Did she ever…
"But you justdied." Natsume didn't think there was any way that she could stress the words that would make Hinata understand why that fact was a Big Deal. It didn't mean that she would stop trying, however. "And even though you were miraculously brought back to life, you most likely lost not just your dojutsu, but your sight."
Another flinch, though not as pronounced as before, as if Hinata had already reached the same conclusion and rationalised it.
Perhaps she just hadn't been prepared for Natsume to put her fate so bluntly.
"Yet you haven't let yourself grieve. You haven't panicked or broken down. You just…accepted it." and that was probably the root of Tsunade's worry, for all that the woman lacked the psychological background to justify why Hinata's placid acceptance of her condition rankled her so. "So, Tsunade thinks you're a high risk of suicide."
Hinata's thoughtful frown grew then, and even though Natsume was certain the girl couldn't see her, her face turned unerringly in her direction, chin angled in such a way that their gazes would have met if not for the barrier of the blindfold.
"And you?" the girl asked bluntly, and Natsume had to hastily stifle a startled laugh.
She had often noted Hinata's very skewed sense of loyalty, but this was probably the first time she realised thatshewas also on the list of people whose opinion Hinata valued above those whose opinions sheshouldvalue.
And Natsume, nothing if not opportunistic, was going to use this sudden realisation to drive her point home.
"I want to know if you regretted it." she told Hinata frankly, cataloguing the girl's reaction. "When you were dying in that room. Did you feel regret?"
Hinata paused then, and Natsume could've guessed why: after all, Natsume had never held the Hyuuga's silences against her, had never tried to rush her through her conclusions.
So Hinata probably didn't see the problem with taking a moment to gather her thoughts.
But this time, itwasa problem.
Natsume sagged back against her seat, a breath escaping her, and even to her ears, the sound was a mix of disappointed and resigned. She'd never looked away from Hinata, so she didn't miss the way the girl tensed, sensitive as she still was to perceived rejection.
"This is not something you should have to think about, Hinata." Natsume chastised, placing a gentle palm on Hinata's forehead and pushing until the girl settled back against her pillows. "Thisis why I agreed to Tsunade's suggestion to put you on suicide watch."
She let her words settle between them, opting to watch Hinata in the silence that followed, curious how the girl was going to react.
"I didn't want to die." Hinata finally spoke up, almost ten minutes after Natsume's original question, her words quiet but strong, sure. "But it is true that a part of me never expected to survive the confrontation with my Grandfather."
Natsume inhaled quietly, holding the breath for a few seconds before she let it out in a soundless sigh.
There we are.
"Soanyscenario in which you survived it is one you're going to be happy with?" she double-checked, needing to make sure they were on the same page about this. "No matter the conditions of that survival?"
"Yes. Especially if my death meant that some of my Clansmen would be freed of their seal." And then the girl turned to face her and smiled, a small, barely-there quirk of her lips that was nonetheless so full of wonder that Natsume's heart clenched. "But I am glad to be alive, Kagane-san."
"And I am glad to hear that." Natsume confirmed after subtly clearing her throat, then, once she was more sure that her voice wouldn't betray her, added: "Please try to keep it that way."
And, against all odds, Hinata's smile only grew, "I will do my best."
The two days after her conversation with Kagane were calm, for all that Hinata continued to receive more visitors than she'd ever had in her previous hospital stays.
But it wasn't until her thirteenth day awake that her careful routine finally broke.
First, Kagane had been called away, and even though Hinata hadn't been able to see the woman's face, she'd been able to pick up enough from Kagane's voice to know that she was far from happy about the summon.
Then, about half an hour after Kagane's departure, there was a commotion outside of Hinata's room, the sudden raised voices startling her out of the light doze she'd fallen into once Kagane had left.
"-her psychiatrist specifically advisedagainst-!"
"-Her shrink can fuck herself!"
Hinata jerked into a sitting position, hissing as she pulled at her shoulder, put pushing the pain down for the moment because sherecognised that voice.
"She's not a prisoner!" Shikamaru's voice was closer now, and though Hinata had never been much of a sensor, she would've had to be a civilian to not notice Shikamaru's chakra signature, the usual lazy flame of contentment suddenly resembling a furious inferno.
Then, there was athudas her door slammed against the wall, and that inferno was suddenly in her room, vicious and all-consuming, Shikamaru's chakra roiling and hot and furious, though Hinata had the oddest certainty that he wasn't furious withher.
The door slammed again, likely due to Shikamaru closing it behind himself, and the fury in his signature settled somewhat, though whether it was because he saw her or because the closed door was muffling the raised voices still coming from the corridor, Hinata couldn't be sure.
"Hinata, hi." Shikamaru greeted hurriedly, though his voice sounded far away, as if he'd never moved away from the door.
Orcouldn'tmove away.
...Which might have explained why the nurses hadn't chased him into her room. But would Shikamaru really-?
"I'm sorry I'm only visiting now – your shrink wouldn't let me in unless I agreed to lie to you." Shikamaru rushed out, his chakra almost seething.
It took a few seconds for his words to register, but once they did, Hinata froze.
"L-lie to me?" she echoed, her mind spinning, especially when there was suddenly a hand grabbing hers, setting her fingers around the pulse-point on Shikamaru's wrist.
"It's been over three weeks since the Council of Clans meeting, not two." Shikamaru began, and Hinata understood the reasoning behind the touch when his pulse remained steady beneath her fingers, betraying the truth of his words. "Since you've been here, Elder Shimura has been killed, and his organisation shut down, while your Clan has been locked down, and your grandfather lockedupin T ."
Hinata's breath caught in her throat, her heart skipping a beat at the sudden onslaught of information, but Shikamaru wasn't done.
"Tsunade didn't save you; an Elder from your Clan gave her life for 'show you survived the attack." He continued, the words rapid-fire, barely giving Hinata the time to process between reveals. "They let us all believe you were dead for almost a week, though. That's why you were initially put down here; Tsunade washidingyou."
And then, just as Hinata was going to beg for a break in the onslaught, Shikamaru took a shuddering breath, and, with a brief squeeze to the hand he was still holding, added the final nail to the coffin:
"And your father woke up yesterday."