She knew she shouldn't be here. This is rude, this is intrusive. I look mad. I look like everything I've been trying not to be. Charlotte paced back and forth in front of the entrance to tenement building. Some of the employees and performers gave her knowing smile and a hello on their way out or in. She returned them. She stopped, closed her eyes and tried to stand as straight as she could. Rose had loaned her one of her S-Shaped corsets for the occasion and Charlotte was not used to it. They weren't quite the same size, but Rose insisted that she be impeccably fashionable for this.

Charlotte took a deep breath and balled her bright green dress in her hands. A bad habit, it's going to wrinkle one of my best dresses, especially as it's not summer weight. She released the dress and tried to adjust her straw hat. It only wiggled before she remembered the hat pin Rose gave her. Gave her. One of her older ones, surprised her soon to be sister-in-law didn't have any. He's going to see right through this…

The young lady opened her eyes and saw the large Russian approaching the building. She took large, rushed steps towards him. "Rasputin! Please forgive me, I know I shouldn't be here but…"

He stopped short the moment she reached him, "Charlotte! Calm down! It okay. You thought I going to leave without saying good bye right?"

"Well I was worried after the last time I saw you," She folded her hands behind her back. "I didn't exactly leave in the kindest way."

"I wasn't the kindest to you."

She looked to the ground and then back up at the Russian, "How did you know I was worried you were going to leave…"

The large man chuckled, "Gleb told me. He said you were with zebras but knocked on door and disappointed to see him. Asked about me and he said I done working but I'd be coming by stables and my apartment to pick up final things today."

"Bastard," Charlotte mumbled under her breath.

"Do your father know you here?" Rasputin tilted his head, his expression softening.

"No. He saw me leave with my soon sister-in-law. Told him we were going out to enjoy the last couple days of the park."

"Do she know you here?"

"Yes…she helped me…it doesn't matter," The girl's shoulders sank as she realized he hadn't said one thing about her appearance.

"She help put you in what you wearing?" He lifted her chin with one his large six-fingered hands. "Dress beautiful, Lotte but that corset, no. Especially if you want to keep riding. You didn't need to dress up for me."

"But you're leaving, I wanted to feel and be beautiful to say good bye to the man that made me believe I was. You not only made me feel beautiful, you made me realize how much growing up I still had to do." Tears welled up in Charlotte's eyes, "Dada told me the hardest thing he learned was if you love someone you want them to be happy, even if that does not include you. I'm sorry, Rasputin if my expressions of emotions have made you feel uncomfortable, I didn't mean to be a selfish brat…I had just never felt the way I do for you before and never considered that you wouldn't feel the same since you had been so kind to me." Those tears now ran down her cheeks. "If you're leaving Phantasma because of me, I truly am sorry I ruined this place for you. And I hope you find happiness at Ringling…" Her voice finally hitched. Her lip trembled. She raised her hands to her cheeks and wiped the tears. "Good-bye, Raspuin." The last words came out in a sob as Charlotte turned to run away.

"Lottie!" The Russian's big hands grabbed her arms and strong arms then pulled her tight into an embrace. He held her tight against those firm pectorals; the sight of them forever in her mind. Charlotte returned the embrace, reaching up as high as she could, grabbing his shoulder blades. She let her sobs out, muffled into his coat.

"Oh Lottie, don't cry. I tell you before; you lovely, nice, talented, beautiful…you not selfish."

"Yes, I was!" She looked up at him, her doe eyes filled with tears. "I was selfish! I'm better now because of you."

"Well, if you were selfish. I was fool," Rasputin removed one of his hands from her back and used his thumb to wipe her cheek. "That's why I leave Phantasma. I let my cousin control me too much. Told me to work here instead of job I had. Then told me you brat and socially retarded, that I shouldn't fall for you even though I like you and you nice." He closed his eyes and sighed, "I'm sorry too, Charlotte."

She pulled herself out of his embrace, "So that's it then? You did care for me but let your cousin tell you not to? And now you're just going to leave?"

"I need to clear my head, think myself. Can't do that with Boris here judging me."

Both were silent for a moment. Charlotte looked down at the ground and wrapped her arms around her chest. She then laughed as the second half of her father's advice came to her.

The Large Russian furrowed his eyebrows, "I no understand, Lottie."

"You will," She jumped up on him, wrapping her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist.

He pulled her tight to his body and his lips devoured hers. His mustache tickled but she ignored it, she ran her fingers through his light brown hair. She opened her mouth, lightly biting his lower lip as she pulled away gasping for breath. She held his head tight as she spoke, "You know you will always have a job here you can return to if you want to. Any job and not just because of your cousin. And I'll still be here."

He laughed lightly, still holding her tight to his body, "I know, Lottie." He leaned in and kissed her lightly, "I really have to go now." He gently guided her back down to the sidewalk, "Tell your dad I already saw you so I won't be stopping by on way to train station. Tell your brother maybe I be back next summer." Rasputin walked past her letting his six-finger hand graze hers, "You nice, Lottie don't lose that."

As he disappeared into the tenement building, Charlotte took a deep breath and whispered, "Maybe you'll find your way back."