Sarah curled up on the couch, hugging the heat pad against her stomach. She closed her eyes and sighed as she tried to focus her attention away from the cramps that hit her that morning. She groaned as Jordan put a hand on her shoulder.
"I took Aleve, and it is not helping. Can I please have some Starbucks?" She sighed. "Sometimes I hate being a girl," she muttered.
"Sarah, you know you cannot be alone. It is not safe. You really should have gone to the office today." He felt bad, noting her discomfort on the couch, but he feared for her safety more.
"Jordan, I told you. I don't feel well. The only way Gibbs let me skip out was if you came over, but I need some serious high dose caffeine to kick this." She opened her eyes and looked up at Jordan. "Please?"
Jordan opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by a knock at her apartment. He sighed and went to answer the door. He found Gibbs and Fornell on the other side.
"Where is Sarah?" Gibbs asked the young man.
"On the couch." He pointed to the couch where Sarah was still curled up around the heat pad. Her eyes were closed, and Gibbs could tell she was taking deep breaths to distract from pain. Gibbs cautiously approached the couch and rested a hand on her shoulder.
"Sare, we have more questions." She opened her eyes and looked up at Gibbs. She sighed.
"Well, Jordan, can you at least get coffee? Please?" Her eyes pleaded with him once more. She really did not want to talk to Gibbs and Fornell again.
"If Gibbs and Fornell will stay until I get back." Gibbs nodded and sat down across from her. "Ok I will be back in a minute." He grabbed his keys and closed the door behind him. Fornell took a spot against the wall behind Gibbs. Sarah sat up and adjusted the heat pad so she was slightly more comfortable while talking to them.
"What is this about?"
"Sarah, we went through some of your notes on the case and the notes the CIA sent over. We think this was an inside job," Fornell said.
"I could have told you that after all this," Sarah said with a sigh. "I mean, why else would you all insist I get protection? I can handle myself."
"Not that." Fornell shook his head. "We think that it was someone close to you." Her face changed, not hiding the confusion and disbelief she felt.
"Like my friends? No way." She shook her head. "We trained together, days on end. We worked together. We grew up together. There is no way any of them would turn on anyone." She jumped up and cringed. "Do you know what it is like to put your life in someone else's hands? You trust them unconditionally. And you don't turn your back on each other when you live through something like that together."
Gibbs stood up and took the heat pad from her. He eased her back onto the couch and took the pad to reheat in the microwave. "Sare, someone close to Jess was after her. It looks like she was targeted. Not random."
"I don't know what it could be. We shared everything. Including friends. Ask Jordan."
"That's why we are asking you." He took the pad out of the microwave and handed it back to her. "The other question is why." She nodded as she rested the pad on her stomach once more.
"That plan was full proof. Without a flaw in the system. No way anyone would have cracked it, not without knowing it." She sighed and looked down at her hands. "So inside, I came to that conclusion, but I still don't think it was any of my friends."
Jordan returned with two large cups of coffee. He handed one to Sarah, who muttered a thank you as she took a sip. "I found someone while I was out who was asking about you." Another man stepped into the apartment.
"Hi Coach." Gibbs and Fornell eyed him with curiosity. "Gibbs, Fornell, this is our coach, Bruno. He trained us since we first started."
"Nice to meet you two. Sarah has told me a lot about you, Gibbs." He extended his hand toward them.
"Did you hear what happened, Bruno?" She asked. She cradled the coffee in her hands, still thinking about what Gibbs and Fornell were telling her.
"Jordan just told me. That is insane." He looked up to Gibbs and Fornell. "Sarah would never kill a colleague, let alone a friend."
"They think Jess was killed by someone close," she said to Bruno. She took a sip of her coffee and looed over at Jordan. She did not know how he would react to the news. He was in just as much disbelief as she felt.
"I always wondered if it was an inside job, but one of the other kids? No way. I trained them all. Not one of them would have turned on the others. I would have seen it." He looked between the two teens. "However, I can go through my notes and give you what I have."
"That would be appreciated," Fornell said. Gibbs looked over at Sarah, who clearly looked uncomfortable with the conversation. He knew telling her their suspicion might rattle some hard feelings.
"I should get started. There are a lot of files to review." He looked at the teens once more. "I expect you two at annual next month."
"We will be there," Sarah said. "Good seeing you Coach." He waved and stepped out of the apartment. Gibbs and Fornell exchanged a look. Jordan noticed and shook his head.
"Coach is an acquired taste. He can sometimes have strange methods, but we would not be who we are without his training." Sarah curled in her lips and nodded.
"He was an officer for a long time before becoming our trainer. Even as we all split off."
"You've never mentioned him before, Sare." She shrugged.
"Like Jordan said, acquired taste. Made for interesting times growing up. I don't have to go to training as often as before now with this liaison position." She turned her attention back to her coffee as she sipped the hot liquid. Jordan shared a look with Gibbs. Both were worried about her for different reasons. Jordan wanted answers as much as she did. After all, this could be answers about what happened to his sister they were talking about. But he also was starting to realize that he might not want to know the truth either. Gibbs wondered what would happen when they did find the person responsible, how both of them would react.
Sarah sat in the middle of the messy room alone. Ten years old and she was left with emotions that she did not know how to handle. She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She was sick. One day she was there, and the next she wasn't. No one talked about how to deal with this. She was her best friend, her partner. Now, she did not know what would happen. Working with her partner was all she knew.
As she stared at the things thrown around her, she did not notice Bruno entering the room. He squatted down and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. She kept her gaze down and placed her hand on top of his. Tears leaked out of her eyes.
"How do you do this, Bruno? How?" He sighed and sat down next to Sarah. She and Jessica were some of his best students. Seeing Sarah struggle was tough to watch.
"It will be hard; I will not lie to you. But you will work through it. And you will come out stronger."
"It does not seem that way." She reached for a shirt near her and held it close to her face. She started crying again. Bruno rubbed her back as she cried.
Sarah stared at the wall in front of her with the pillow cradled close to her chest. She found herself thinking a lot about that night. Sometimes, she felt herself transported back in time. She was feeling her emotions from then much more intensely. The weight of her loss felt extra heavy as of late. The threshold for tears seemed to be on the floor. She hated to be sidelined but she realized that Gibbs was right; she needed to be distanced from this case. She needed the time to feel what was bottled up inside before.
Jordan found Sarah sitting against the couch on the floor. He noticed she was in her own world. He wondered what she was thinking about lately. Since she had been off the case, finding something to occupy and distract her had been hard. Especially with everything developing on the case. They wanted her to stay out of the investigation, but she had a hard time completely staying away.
He cautiously approached her and sat on the couch behind her. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. She flinched and seemed to snap out of the trance she was in. She looked back and realized it was Jordan. She let out a breath she did not know she held in.
"Sorry."
"Did you want to talk about it?" She shook her head and sighed as she climbed onto the couch.
"Not really." He opened his arm and let her lean against him. "I miss her."
"I miss her too." She closed her eyes and tried to stop the movie reel replay in her head. "She would be proud of you, Sare." She let a small smile show.
"She would be proud of her big brother." She opened her eyes and turned to look at Jordan. "I just wish none of this was happening."
"I know." He pulled her close as she rested her forehead on his shoulder.
"These memories. They are like flashbacks. Almost like a movie reel that will not stop. Like it is trying to tell me something that I can't figure out. And I don't know why they are happening now."
"So, focus on it. Let that tell you so you can figure out what it is trying to tell you."
"I just. I can't. It doesn't make sense." She groaned. He rubbed her back as she tried to take deep breaths. "But it is like it is something familiar." The movie reel started to force its way into her focus more.