"I'm telling you, Illyana, you're in a videogame," I shouted, desperate to get her to understand. Okay, fine, most people would probably think you were crazy if you tried to convince them they were in a video game, but I still had to try! We were sitting in the practice range, watching the little GalactaBots do their rounds through the map. It was the only place I could go where the devs wouldn't find me. And the only place I could get Galacta to agree to leaving me alone.

"I just need you to help me get in here! I wanna see Jeff again! They've got Emma Frost calling him her baby! I'm getting cucked here!"

"... riiight," Magik said with an eyebrow raised as she polished her Soulsword. Isn't it weird how that thing always manages to change between a huge broadsword and a-

"Gwen, I am very familiar with dimension hopping. I can promise you I've never been in a video game-"

"You were literally in Midnight Suns! You took on Mephisto-"

"Please stop speaking," Illyana groaned, rolling her eyes and setting her sword back down like I'd reminded her of something she'd been trying to forget. She looked particularly exhausted. I guess nonstop comp rounds in Gold Rank could do that to someone. Solo Queuing is not a happy life.

"Come on, Illyana? Have you ever known me to be a liar," I asked her, hugging her tight and leaning my weight on her. She wrapped an arm around me and looked away, like she was trying to think up any reason to say no. How mean!

"Gwen, why would you even want to be in a video game? I thought you were convinced we were in a comic book," Illyana asked, trying her best to make sense of everything. I understood the things I said probably didn't make much sense. Who wanted more villain-filled adventures? Most heroes probably hated it. But I knew villains and fights meant sales! And the more sales, the more relevance you got in Marvel. We're all slaves to capitalism. Me… just a little moreso.

"Comic books can have video games! There're like five Marvel vs CapCom games and they have dozens of tournaments," I explained as we watched a GalactaBot reassemble itself. They were pretty cool, I guess.

"Am I in that one too," Illyana asked, raising another blonde eyebrow at me.

"Surprisingly, no. They filled their Girl With A Big Sword quota with Gamora," I said with a shrug. No idea why they decided on that. Gamora wasn't even really known for having a big sword. Psylocke and Magik were both way better candidates-

"What is it you believe I can do to help," Magik sighed, swinging her sword a couple of times as she practiced her moves. Was there really a point to that? She only ever did the same couple of slashes over and over again. You'd think they could've given the girl with a giant sword some different sword attacks besides a dash that I can't nail down.

"I don't know? Maybe do some cool things with me and I'll get in the game quicker? Maybe we could even be in the actual Rivals comic? They put Jeff in without me and even did the Hellfire Gala without me! You know I was a part of that too! They're putting Ultron-"

"I remember Gwen. I believe you said your outfit was inspired by a Sailor animation?"

"Sailor Moon! Why are you acting like you don't know what it is, I saw you watching it with Kitty," I said, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Right…" She was a bad liar.

"I've got proof you're in a video game! Look! Here's a ton of fanart of you railing Luna Snow!" It wasn't very hard to show her some fanart of her I found in the Gutter. Illyana grabbed the art pieces and looked them over, a weird look on her face. Okay, maybe showing someone fanart someone made of them railing a person they knew might not've been a good idea. And maybe there might've been better proof than shippy fanart to show how she was in a video game. Oh well.

"... I have never licked Luna Snow," Illyana said, narrowing her eyes at me as she flipped through the fanart.

"I know, it's fanart so it's not canon-"

"Why are they drawing me with a penis?" She was flipping through the art even faster now, like she couldn't believe it. Had she never heard of rule 63? Or, well, I guess that wasn't rule 63 but-

"I have only ever been to one Luna Snow concert with Kitty. Why are people making this?"

"I don't know, people are horny-"

"I don't believe these are just people drawing this, Gwen. Is this something you've seen with your powers," Illyana asked accusingly, crumpling the papers in her hand and glaring at me as she crossed her arms over her chest. This is the exact opposite of what I'd wanted to happen!

"Something I've seen," I asked, trying to figure out why she was so upset!

"What are you- oh? Wait is that canon-"

"I am not answering that question with you," Illyana huffed, rolling her eyes and turning away from me.

"Oh, that's so not fair! Wait, does Luna Snow actually taste like ice cream? Does your tongue actually-"

"Aren't you supposed to be dating Kid Omega?"

"Oh, come on! I only made out with Quentin a couple of times! We're not like, together together or anything. Plus, I had a reason for it! They ended up giving me the power to retcon my own history to put me on Krakoa even though I'm not a Mutant. It's the only reason we started hanging out in the first place!" Okay, maybe I was whining a little as I grabbed onto her arm, desperately trying to tug on her to get her to look at me again. She couldn't be that mad, could she?

"I still really doubt your taste in suitors if you kissed Quire," she grumbled, slashing the head off a GalactaBot as it passed by.

"Oh come on, you're hooking up with Juggernaut and everyone knows it-"

"I am not!" She slashed at another GalactaBot and for some reason I was really worried Magik wasn't seeing robots anymore but me as she took a swing at them.

"It's not like there were a ton of options, Illyana! It was the West Coast Avengers! It was ten issues and only like six of us before the run was over!"

"It sounds as though any of the other team members were a better choice, but if you're already limiting yourself-"

"Hey! Don't you dare imply that I'm straight! I mean, technically Marvel thinks I'm ace but I really don't think Hastings had that in mind considering-"

"And you didn't kiss Hawkeye?"

"She was with Fuse! Plus I'm pretty sure she's bi but questioning and I so don't want to be the one to skip America in line for-"

"What about America?"

"Alloy. I think they're still dating," I countered, trying to find the most recent issue of her run. It's kinda hard to find anything America is in these days.

"What about me?"

"You weren't on the team!" I'd answered so fast I didn't have time to think about what she'd meant by that until the words had left my mouth.

"... I mean… Wait a second…"

Okay, I was short-circuiting a bit. Sue me.

"Wait, if you wanted to make-out you could've just asked," I said, hands on my hips as I realized what this Twenty Questions game had really been about. She wasn't mad at the fanart! She was mad that I'd made out with Quentin!

Or something like that.

"I am the Sorceress Supreme of Limbo. I do not ask." That was a good argument, I guess.

"... can we make out?"

Illyana Rasputina wasn't really someone who needed to be told to do something twice. I'm sure everyone's seen that famous New Mutants page of her asking some bad guys if they wanted to make out. It was all from Sunspot's POV which explains her asking but-

Magik pinned me against the wall and lifted me up until I was barely on my tip-toes, her eyes glowing as she stared me down. She was only an inch taller than me but she worked out! Plus, with whatever magical energy that flowed through her thanks to the Darkchylde…

Her lips brushed against mine, but she didn't kiss me. Not yet. She was like a tiger or a lion playing with its prey. She didn't want to make out with me. She wanted me to be desperate to make out with her!

… I honestly didn't have enough dignity to pretend I wasn't into it. You read comics your whole life and imagine being in situations just like these, it's hard to not jump at the chance. I wrapped my legs around her waist and my arms around her neck, desperate to pull her closer. To make her kiss me. I even whined, hoping that she wouldn't be able to resist the small but of sex appeal I could actually perform.

"Almost, Gwen. Almost." She mumbled, tilting her head a bit so her lips brushed against mine again, but she still didn't kiss me.

Man, tough crowd!

"Please…" I didn't even realize I'd said it. It kinda just… slipped out.

"There we go. Much better." Illyana sounded smug and pleased with herself, but I didn't care. She finally pressed her lips against mine, and I was glad I wasn't in Rivals yet. At least this way I could get something fun out of it.

At this point I'd kissed with a few people so far. Thor, America, Wasp… This was making out. Illyana Rasputina didn't half-ass kissing someone. She kissed me like she owned me. Like I owed her everything I had to give. To be fair, I guess I was kinda asking her for a favor.

I hadn't exactly racked up a huge roster of people I'd kissed before being yoinked into the Marvel Universe. I'd already tripled my record if we're being honest. So the way Magik was kissing me… wow.

"Like you mean it, Gwendolyn," Illyana hissed, pushing her full weight against me as she pinned me to the wall. I whined- or I guess moaned now- as she used her free hand to hold my chin and lock me into the kiss. My head was spinning, and I could taste fire and brimstone on her lips. I could barely breathe, but it didn't matter, because I was making out with the Sorceress Supreme of Limbo! My eyes drifted shut- I didn't need to see. It wasn't important. All that was important was Illyana's tongue in my mouth.

Her long, long tongue that was filling my mouth and working its way down my throat.

I guess that fanart was right about her?

It wasn't until Illyana had her fill that she finally pulled away. I'd lost all strength in my limbs and I almost slid off of her. Thankfully she was still holding onto me with that one hand, still incredibly strong. She waited for my strength to return to my legs before finally setting me down, and I opened my eyes to see those baby blues staring back into mine.

"I shall see what I can do. It would be a shame to not have you on the battlefield with us. And I apologize in advanced for what I'll have to do to you when I see you on the enemy team."

"... can you make sure I'm not a strategist?"

"That would take some extra convincing."