Saiyans of Hell
"Okay, so the Extermination is coming in six months, instead of a year. No big deal, just a little setback. Nothing we can't handle, just the angels cutting our timetable in half, but who needs a whole year to save souls am I right?" Charlie asked, as she began panicking, pacing around the Hotel lobby with Eri hanging in her arms like a teddy bear, the Princess's arms wrapped around the girls waist. "An' next year, when they cut our timetable again, and again, we'll just handle it, right?"
"Yes, Honey. We will." Vaggie said, stopping Charlie, and making her loosen her grip on Eri. "We can handle this, and we will make this work."
"Oh please, you had less than half a chance when you started all this salvation bullshit, and now… Ain't no silver lining this time toots." Angel said as his phone began going off like crazy.
"Sure, there is. We just have to look a little harder." Charlie said.
"It's worth a try." Kaen stated. "But from where I'm standing, that announcement about the cut timetable from two days ago, has all of Hell in an uproar. But I'm positive we'll be able to find Sinners, willing to give the Hotel a chance, if we look hard enough."
"Well while you're looking, the rest of Hell is going nuts." Angel said, showing them his phone. "People are already freaking out about the news. Look at what's happening in the Doomsday district."
"Uh, what is a donkey show?" Charlie asked, covering Eri's eyes with her hand.
"Aah heh, nothing. My boss, Val, is just freaked out about the news too." Angel said. "Like I said, everyone's losing their shit."
"Yeah, that's true. Sinners are desperate." Vaggie said.
"Maybe desperate enough, to try anything to escape the Extermination?" Kaen asked, picking up what Vaggie was getting at, causing Charlie to gasp.
"This, is the perfect time to recruit more Sinners for the Hotel!" Charlie exclaimed happily.
"Cute idea, and all." Angel said, scrolling through his phone still, before showing it to them again. "But you really gonna go out in all this?"
"Well, it's not like people are just gonna show up on our front doorstep." Charlie said, before letting out a small scream as a hole was blown into the wall near the bar, causing her to shield Eri as she hugged the child closer.
"Oh, for fucks sake!" Kaen growled, getting up from leaning back against the wall, and heading for the hole that was blown into the wall near the bar, as the familiar voice of Sir Pentious echoed through the air.
"Show yourself, Alastor! Come and face-Oh, there you are." Sir Pentious said.
"Not this fucking clown again." Kaen tsked, stepping through the hole.
"Face my wrath!" Pentious exclaimed.
"Who are you?" Alastor asked, still sipping coffee from the patio balcony he sat on.
"Who am I? Who am I?" The snake Sinner questioned. "I am the great Sir Pentious! Inventor, architect of destruction, Villain Extraordinaire!"
"He really likes hearing the sound of his own voice." Kaen scoffed, crossing his arms, as Alastor came down and stood next to him in a wave of shadows.
"Oh, you tell him boss." One of Pentious's egg minions said.
"Ooh, he's a bad boy." Niffty said with interest, popping up on Kaen's shoulder.
"Huh, well if all that's true, you'd think I'd have heard of you." Alastor said.
"I attacked you literally last week." Pentious said.
"I can attest to that." Kaen said, plopping Niffty off his shoulder and onto the ground.
"Doesn't ring a bell old chum." Alastor said, looking at Kaen.
"We've done battle, like… 20 times?" Pentious asked.
"Well, you must have been really bad at this." Alastor shrugged.
"Silence!" Pentious shouted angrily. "Now cower! For when I've slain you, the almighty Vees, will finally acknowledge me, as their equal!"
"Oooh. Wait, who are the Vees?" Niffty asked, popping up on Kaen's shoulder again.
"Beats me." Kaen said.
"Oh, they're nobody important." Alastor stated.
~Vee Tower Vox's Control Room~
The room was darkly lit, with the illuminating light of multiple television screens shining in front of the TV headed figure in the chair. Things were going smoothly, as he broadcast all his media entertainment produced by the Vees Tower and Studios.
"New VoxTek designer voyeur scopes. Pepping on your neighbors has never been more stylish. VoxTek, trust us with your money." The commercial said, as the security feed showed the denizens of Hell rushing into the store to buy their own drones.
On a different screen, a popular show he'd greenlit was starting up, with the new episode playing completely in of anyone with any sort of screen in front of their faces.
"This week's episode of: Yeah, I Fucked Your Sister, So What?, is brought to you by VoxTek. Trust us with your entertainment." The announcer said. "VoxTek. Trust us. Trust us. Trust us. Trust us. Trust us. Trust us…"
"Hahahahaha, now that's good television!" Vox exclaimed excitedly, before his face vanished, and Velvette's caller ID popped up on it. With a flick of his hand, Vox sent the call from his face, to one of the monitors in front of him, answering the call while Velvette looked deeply upset. "Hello there Velvette. How are you this hellish morning?" He questioned enthusiastically, while grabbing his coffee mug.
"Oh, cut the shit Vox. I need you up here now!" Velvette said, with an Australian accent.
"Whatever could be the problem my dear?" Vox questioned, working away on a different monitor.
"Your little boy toy is wrecking my department while I'm trying to pull together a show and-"
"Fucking bitch!" Valentino's voice echoed from the background behind Velvette.
"Just get your ass here. Now!" Velvette exclaimed before turning back to the chaos. "Damn it Valentino!" She stated, before the video feed cut out as she ended the call.
Vox's smile fell as he got to his feet, and began making his way to the entrance of his office.
"Oh god, here I go. Valentino. Just another fucking day with Val, hey, hey, hey. Fuck my life." He said as he stood on the platform of the Vee's emblem, before it rose up like an elevator.
Up on the surface floor, Vox stepped out of the entrance to the platform, coincidentally taking the same pose as his painted form on the opening wall. The difference was though, he wasn't smiling like in the painted form. But he quickly put on a smile when he noticed a group of reporters standing out in the lobby. The instant they noticed him, they began rushing him, wanting answers.
"Mr. Vox, Mr. Vox. Question for you."
"Mr. Vox, question for you over here."
"Mr. Vox, question."
Vox didn't verbally respond, he just stepped up to them and put his hands on his hips, waiting for the first question to be asked.
"Mr. Vox, what are your thoughts on the new extermination deadline?" One of the reporters asked.
"My dear people, we at VoxTek Enterprises have always been at the forefront of innovation." Vox said, before he laid on the drama thick. "And now, with this new oncoming threat, we are shifting our focus, to your protection. We are pleased to announce VoxTek Angelic Security, coming soon. Trust us, with your safety." He finished, using his power to hypnotize them all into becoming docile and quiet.
"Sir, uh… when did we begin work on Angelic Security?" One of the secretaries asked nervously.
"Thirty seconds ago." Vox said, stepping past the people and heading for the nearest camera installation. "Try to get that bitch Carmilla on the books, and cancel all my appointments today. I've gotta go put out a fire upstairs." He instructed, before he vanished into a flash of electricity into a security camera.
~Velvette's Studio~
Velvette, annoyed and agitated, stepped up to her four workers, while everyone else was cleaning up after Valentino's little temper tantrum. Each of them were holding up a designer outfit that would potentially be for the show.
"Ugh, no. Unacceptable. You're fired." She said to the first three, before the fourth really got on her nerves. "What is this? Wrist ruffles? Is it 1750? Burn it like the witches who wore it!" She stated, before pressing a few fingers to her forehead, feeling a migraine coming on.
"Oh Velvette, I can you're busy." Vox said, sparking out of one of the security cameras in the studio. "Tell me, where's our hotheaded friend now?"
"Up in his tower, waiting for a flat-faced prince to calm him down, while nursing an acid burn he got from trying to grab my new girl and drag her away with him." Velvette stated. "Key word there, is trying."
"Of course." Vox sighed. "An' what's got him, all out of sorts today?"
"Who knows? But he tore up my best model. An' you know the show can't wait for that unlucky bitch to pull herself back together!" Velvette said, grabbing one of her model's dismembered arms as an employee walked past with a bundle of limbs in their grasp. "Melissa, new girl, get your asses over here!"
The sinner known as Melissa stepped up to the platform, before Velvette began snapping her fingers, changing the girls outfit numerous times with her power, before she stopped.
"No. No. Hideous. I want to die. Eww. Oh, yes. That's the one." She said stopping at a puffy short skirt dress, before Melissa stepped down, and another sinner stepped up to the platform.
This girls skin was a gemstone pink, glistening like a gemstone, with black sclera, ember eyes, golden horns on her head, and shoulder length neon pink hair and fur on her tail, shimmering like flames. She had three piercings in her right ear, and two in her left.
"Alright new girl, let's see what works for you." Velvette said, snapping her fingers.
"My name is Mina Ashido." She stated, as her outfit was switched out, just like Melissa's. "Not like I haven't told you a hundred times already."
"An' I missed the part where I'm supposed to give a shit." Velvette stated.
Mina just sighed and rolled her eyes to the mirror on her right, making it look like she was looking over the outfits Velvette was putting on her, when in reality, she was just rolling her eyes in annoyance.
"Ah yes, that's the one for you!" Velvette smirked.
Velvette stopped at an outfit, comprised of a pair of black leather pants with red leather laced thighs, over a seamless single piece bodysuit, with two hearts positioned on the chest as if they were pasties covering up her nipples, and fingerless forearm gloves, that reached just past her elbows, with a stripe of red going up the center of the gloves, a heart shaped ruby pendant on a golden choker around her neck and two golden bracelets on her right wrist, with one on her left.
"I look like a dominatrix." Mina said, putting her hand on her hip, her tail flicking.
"That's the point luv." Velvette smirked. "You're a badass bitch who wasn't afraid to stand up the Val, so you've gotta dress the part."
"Well, looks like you seem to have everything under control here." Vox said, drawing their attention back to him, while Velvette and Mina both rolled their eyes.
"Of course I do. Fuck you. Now shoo. Take care of the pissbaby!" Velvette stated, turning her back to him as she got back on her phone.
~Valentino's Tower~
Vox stepped through the halls leading to Valentino's penthouse at the top of the tower. Stepping to the doors leading into the penthouse, the two moth demon women standing at the side, stepped forward and opened them for him, before he looked at them questioningly, then stepped into the penthouse to see a large cloud of red smoke from Valentino's cigarette pipe, as the doors closed behind him.
"Fuckin' finally!" Valentino exclaimed, as he spotted Vox, before throwing his drink on the ground, shattering the glass. "Kitty, another drink!" He ordered a jester clown looking android, before it bowed and went to fulfill his demand. "Can you believe what that piece of shit did?" Valentino questioned, as Kitty instantly brought him another drink. "The ungrateful whore!" He exclaimed throwing his drink at the TV headed Overlord, to which Vox easily dodged the glass of alcohol. "An' look what that pinkie bitch did to one of my hands!" He stated, holding up one of his lower hands bandaged with blood seeping through the wraps.
"Uh… putting those acid burns on your hand aside, which whore are we talking about this time?" Vox asked.
"Fucking Angel Dust!" Valentino stated angrily. "Who the hell else would I be talking about?" He asked, getting in Vox's face, before he started speaking again, stopping Vox from commenting. "That fucking slut, walked out on me. Me. I fucking made him! Without me he's just a bag of meat with some mildly entertaining holes." He stated, not noticing how Vox pulled out his phone.
"Oh, Angel quit?" Vox asked, turning around looking hopeful at Valentino.
"No, he didn't fucking quit! It's worse. He moved!" Valentino exclaimed, taking Vox's phone, and smashing it against the wall. "He thinks he can just walk in here, work, and then go home somewhere else. Can you fucking believe that? He thinks he can run off and shack up with Lucifer's bimbo daughter!" He stated, marching to his wardrobe, which held his weapons, and not any actual clothing.
"Angel is, living with Lucifer's daughter now?" Vox asked, not really believing it.
"Yeah, that bitch Chalkie, or Chandler, or… I don't know, something mannish like that. She's got this hotel and-" He paused as he turned around, holding up two different pistols, changing his tune. "Which of these makes me look sexier?" He questioned, striking a pose before he turned back to his wardrobe.
"Heh, what are you doing, Val?" Vox asked through clenched gritted teeth. "You're not going over there."
"That slippery Twink, is going to remember who owns him. I'm going to fuck everyone in that rancid shithole hotel. I swear to God, and-"
"Val!" Vox exclaimed, pulling Valentino to look at him, before calming down and putting on a smile. "Haha, think about it. Our brand is perfection. An' what do you think chasing whores around town will do for our image?" He questioned, leading Valentino to the window, and swiping away the pistol still in Valentino's hand.
"Uh… Fuck it up?" Valentino asked.
"Right." Vox said. "Do you want people thinking you can't control your employees?"
"No!"
"Exactly. An' hey, you still have him under contract. He isn't going anywhere. So, you should…?" Vox trailed off, waiting for Valentino to come up with the answer himself.
"Do nothing?" Valentino said, before Vox pulled him into an arm hold.
"Great idea. Now that's why they pay you the big bucks." Vox said, pinching on Val's cheek like he was a child.
"But I really wanted to shoot someone." Valentino stated with a sigh of disappointment, pulling out another cigarette pipe.
"Well, let me call up the lowest earners this month." Vox said, using a thread of electricity to light the cigarette.
"Oh, you know me too well." Valentino said with a dark chuckle, before taking a pull of his cigarette, as Vox went to his desk to find Valentino's phone, since his was destroyed by Valentino himself. "You know…" He paused with amusement. "Angel isn't the only one spending time at this ratty hotel, with the Devil's Princessa."
"Oh, who else is there?" Vox asked, still rummaging through Val's drawers. "Someone who, owes you money?"
"Someone who owes us much more than money." Valentino chuckled darkly. "The Radio Demon is there."
That got Vox's attention, as his claws dug grooves into the surface of Valentino's desk, electricity sparking all around him.
"What did you just say?" Vox asked, looking at Val, his voice edgier.
"You heard me." Valentino smirked.
"Alastor came back, and he is with Lucifer's daughter, and that wasn't the first fucking thing you told me?!" Vox questioned him angrily, getting in Valentino's face.
"Hey, killing Alastor is your kink." Valentino said, brushing off Vox's hands, and sauntering to his desk, turning on the monitors, to show that there was live feed from their latest drone technology, broadcasting the front of the hotel to them.
Vox didn't wait, and in a flash of electricity, he was at the desk, eyes on the monitor.
~Hotel~
"Arrgh, oh please! Stop!" Sir Pentious cried out as Alastor was using dark tentacles to treat Pentious's war machine like a punching bag, all while laughing like a mad man.
"Um, Alastor? I think he's had enough!" Charlie said.
"Nah, he's got a few more hits in him." Angel said.
Pentious was struggling to keep from falling out of the broken windshield of his war machine, before he fell to the ground, only to land on Kaen's outstretched arm, and slung over it like ragged clothing.
"Thanks for another forgettable experience." Alastor smiled proudly, looking at Pentious, as Kaen dropped him to the ground.
"Thank… you… for letting your guard down! Haha! Yeah!" Pentious exclaimed, using his tail to tear a corner piece of Alastor's coat.
"He's double dead." Kaen sighed, stepping away from Pentious.
"Oh shit." Pentious said, as Alastor took on his true demon form, making deer noises, and made an explosion that sent the snake sinner flying across Pentagram City screaming in both shock and pain.
"Well, it looks as though I need for a visit to the tailor." Alastor said, turning to the rest of the group. "Best of luck, chums!" He called as he turned away to begin leaving.
"Wait, you're leaving?" Vaggie questioned, stepping forward a few steps, with Eri at her side. "Alastor, we need your help. We need you to do your job!"
"We need a wall." Angel added nonchalantly.
"Of course. Can't let my new project fall into disrepair already. What would the papers say?" Alastor questioned, before snapping his fingers, and making a team of shadow summons construction workers appear making Angel chuckle enthusiastically.
"Hey sweet cheeks. Whatcha doing later?" Angel asked, leaning an elbow on the big worker's shoulder. "I love me a man with a giant… tool." Kaen had covered Eri's ears in case Angel had used… more colorful language.
~Valentino's Penthouse~
"See? Look how he's flirting with that guy. An' he's not even paying!" Valentino exclaimed angrily, pressing his face to one of the lesser monitors. "Who is that, I'm going to kill his whole fucking family!
~Cue Song~
[VOX]
That fucker is back!
[VALENTINO]
Yeah, I thought he was gone for good too
[VOX]
It's been seven years!
[VALENTINO]
You still pissed he almost beat you that time?
[VOX]
Uh, fuck you
[VALENTINO]
Just saying
[VOX]
Things have changed a lot since he left town
[VALENTINO]
That's for sure
[VOX]
I gotta send a message of who's really in charge of things now
Welcome home
I'm gonna make you wish that you'd stayed gone
Say hello to a new status quo
Everyone knows that there's a brand new dawn
Turn the TV on!
[DIRECTOR]
Camera speeds
Rolling in three, two
[VOX (STAFF) {VOX & STAFF}]
(Welcome to the show)
Top of the hour, and we're discussing a certain has-been
Who has been spotted cavorting around town
(Welcome to the show)
After a seven-year absence
Did anybody miss him?
(Welcome to the show)
Did anybody notice?
More on tonight's program
So, the Radio Demon is back in town
Why is he hanging around?
What does that mean for your family?
Well handily, I've got good news
He's a loser, a fossil
And I don't mean to sound hostile, {but the demon is a coward!}
You can take that as gospel
Pulling my viewers? Impossible
I'm visual, he's barely audible
Stop giving him the time of day, don't listen to a word he'd say
I hope he had a nice vacay, {but he should've stayed away}
[VOX]
While he hid in radio, we've pivoted to video
Now his medium is getting bloody rare
Hell's been better since he split
Where's he been? Who gives a shit?!
[ALASTOR]
Salutations!
Good to be back on the air
Yes, I know it's been a while
Since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast
Sinners, rejoice!
[VOX]
What a dated voice!
[ALASTOR]
Instead of a clout-chasing mediocre video podcast
[VOX]
Come on!
[ALASTOR]
Is Vox insecure, pursuing allure?
Flitting between this fad and that, is nothing working?
[VOX]
Ignore his chirping!
[ALASTOR]
Every day, he's got a new format!
[VOX & STAFF]
You're looking at the future, he's the shit that comes before that!
[ALASTOR]
Is Vox as strong as he purports?
Or is it based on his support?
He'd be powerless without the other Vees
[VOX]
Oh, please!
[ALASTOR]
And here's the sugar on the cream
He asked me to join his team!
[VOX]
H-hold on!
[ALASTOR]
I said no, and now he's pissy
That's the tea!
[VOX]
You old-timey prick, I'll show you suf-ffering
[ALASTOR]
Uh oh, the TV is buffering!
[VOX]
I'll destroy you, yo-ou lit-tle—
[ALASTOR]
I'm afraid you've lost your signal
Let's begin
I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone, tune on in
When I'm done, your status quo will know its race is run
Oh, this will be fun
[VOX]
Fuck!
~End Song~
~Hotel~
"You sure you don't want me to come with you?" Kaen asked, as Charlie and Vaggie moved to head out and search for recruits who would be desperate enough to check into the hotel.
"I'm certain Kaen." Charlie smiled. "Vaggie and I can handle this on our own."
"Alright." Kaen sighed, Eri hanging off his back. "I hate to ask but… could you take Eri with you? With me not needed, there's something I need to take care of, and I've been putting it off for too long, and you're two of the only five people in hell that I trust to watch over her."
"Of course." Vaggie said, taking Eri off his back, and into her arms.
"You behave for them, alright Eri?" Kaen asked, petting Eri's head lovingly, making her purr.
"Okay Papa." Eri smiled, playfully nipping at his hand.
"Eh, no biting." Kaen smirked, before looking back at Charlie and Vaggie, pulling a couple of items out of his waist pouch. "Here, take these, and use them to contact me if you need to." He said, holding out a couple pairs of Scouter Shades, and bracers. "I made these duplicates using Eri's Duplication Bag, the other night."
"What are they?" Vaggie asked, taking one pair, with Charlie taking the other, the color tones of both items changing to match their styles perfectly. "Whoa."
"They're Scouter Shades." Kaen said. "They're just like the ones I have, and fully operational as well."
"And the bracers?" Charlie questioned, looking at him, slipping the bracer on under her sleeve, with the item contracting to fit her arm comfortably, but firmly.
"Wrist mounted computer sleeves, same as mine." He said, holding up his left arm. "They're what will allow the signal of your Scouter Shades to reach me anywhere, no matter the distance. Without them, the scouters have a limited range of communication. I'll give you a rundown on how to operate them later, but they're able to be easily hidden under your sleeves."
"Got it." Vaggie said, hanging her Scouter Shades from the neckline of her top.
"We'll call you if anything happens." Charlie promised.
Kaen nodded, before he turned and began making his way down the path, and took to the air, flying off to a different side of Pentagram city.
"Wonder where he's going." Angel said.
"Who knows." Husker said. "I don't give a fuck one way or the other."
~Vee Tower Meeting Room~
"We have a problem." Vox said, sitting at his meeting table with Kitty serving drinks to all three of them. "Alastor is getting close to Little Princess Morningstar. So, our main concern now is to ensure that no deal is ever struck between Lucifer's brat, and that smiling freak!" He exclaimed, slamming his fist on the meeting table.
"Well, how exactly are we supposed to stop it?" Velvette asked, her hair done differently than before, thanks in part to the electric shock sent through the tower, that caused a city-wide power outage.
"Put something inside them." Valentino said, putting glue and rhinestones on one of his pistols. "That's how I get the bitches to behave."
"Well maybe, someone on the inside wouldn't be such a bad idea." Vox said, thinking on Valentino's idea from a different perspective. "Do you think Angel would?"
"That lanky prick won't even return my calls." Valentino scoffed.
"We need… someone little Miss Bleeding Heart would take in." Vox said, getting to his feet, after putting his drink down, and paced around the room. "An' with that new muscle of hers, it's gotta be at least two of them, otherwise there's a chance he might catch onto us. Velvette, you think Pinkie, would do it?"
"She's been looking for an excuse to get out of here, and search for her missing family, so I guarantee she'd be up for it." Velvette said. "Best of all, Angel doesn't know she works for us."
"Now all we need is someone else." Vox said. "Someone who would make her look impressive."
"Someone pathetic, desperate, with no direct ties to us." Velvette added.
"I employee, every down on the luck loser this side of hell. Who the fuck is left?" Valentino questioned, picking up his drink, and rhinestone pistol.
"I think I have, just the one." Vox smiled with a scoff.
~Kaen~
Kaen flew through the air, landing on the battlefield of the fallen angels. He's done a great job at disposing of the bodies so far, but he wasn't all too sure if he'd be able to keep this secret hidden for much longer. Killing this many angels, backfired against him.
"Alright." He said, cracking his neck. "Let's get to disposing the last of 'em."
Without wasting any time, Kaen jumped into the air, and with a powerful Ki Blast, disintegrated the remaining bodies of the slain angels, rendering them as nothing more than smoldering ash, with the blood drying up from the heat. With a sigh of satisfaction, Kaen landed on the ground, and began examining his handywork.
"That was easier than I-"
Kaen stopped as he felt a malicious presence behind him, before he pivoted to the side, evading a bone blade razor sharp at the edges as it pierced the ground. He looked to where the bone blade came from, following the chain made of vertebra, all the way up to a purple scaled sinner demon, with a strong muscular build, horns curved like a kotinos, and bone spikes encircling the entire diameter of his shoulders, while he wore black leather pants, with steel toed boots, and carried himself with a somewhat regel posture. The sinner stood above him on a cliffside ledge made of fallen buildings, overlooking the freshly cleaned up battle arena.
"It's been a while, Captain America." He said, pulling his weapon back as he gripped the hilt of the weapon, the hand guard a demons skull.
"Do I know you?" Kaen asked, taking his shield from his back and extending it to its full diameter.
"Oh, come now, you wound me Rogers." He said in mock offense. "Don't tell me, you don't recognize your old enemy, Barron Zemo!"
~Hazbin Hotel~
Charlie and Vaggie stepped into the lobby, with Charlie holding a sleeping Eri, before she flopped back into the couch, and making sure not to disturb Eri, grabbed a pillow, and buried her own face in its surface, while groaning in frustration.
"So, how'd it go?" Angel asked sarcastically, knowing exactly how their search went.
"Terrible. Not a single new recruit." Vaggie sighed in annoyance.
"Yeah. Well, who would wanna use their last days not fucking and fighting?" Angel questioned as a firm knocking at the door echoed through the lobby.
Vaggie turned to the door, and opened it, her eye widening when she saw the two who were standing outside the door.
"Well, hello my dear-" Pentious said, before he was punched in the face by Vaggie, just before she pulled her spear out.
"Whoa-whoa, hold on now." Mina said, getting between them, still dressed in the same clothes as Velvette literally snapped on her. "We're not here to cause trouble."
"We come in peace." Pentious said, putting emphasis on the S sound.
"What, are you doing here?" Vaggie questioned with her glare directed at Pentious.
"Vaggie, what's the problem?" Charlie asked, looking out the door, Eri still in her arms, before she gasped when she saw Mina and Pentious. "Oh, hello again."
Mina's eyes widened, when they landed on the sleeping Eri. Her heart thumping with adrenaline, as she didn't wanna get her hopes up.
Vaggie noticed where Mina's gaze was directed to, before she quickly turned her spear onto the pink haired sinner girl.
"Don't even think about touching her." Vaggie glared with a low growl.
"But… she… I…!" Mina stammered, before moving past Vaggie at lightning speeds, and into the lobby, Eri out of Charlie's arms and into hers as she slid to a stop.
"Hey, give her-" Vaggie began, as she stepped to rush Mina, before Charlie stuck her arm out to stop her. "Charlie?"
"Look how she's holding her Vaggie." Charlie said softly. "There's no malicious intent, no desire for anything shameful."
Vaggie looked back at Mina, and with a clearer perspective, saw the tears in her eyes.
"Oh, Eri." Mina cried holding her close. "My baby girl."
Eri began to stir from the sudden shift in who was holding her, before she awoke, and looked up. Her vision cleared as the sleep left her, and when she got a good look at Mina, she gasped.
"Mama?" Eri asked, almost too afraid to ask.
"It's me baby girl." Mina smiled, tears still streaming down her cheeks as she fell to her knees. "I'm so happy to see you're safe and sound."
"Mama!" Eri cried, hugging Mina close and tightly as she let the tears flow.
"You hear that?" Charlie smiled, looking at Vaggie. "That must be Mina, the young woman Kaen told us about."
"Kaen?" Mina gasped, her head shooting up. "He's here too?"
"Not at the moment but… he does live here, and he's a co-owner of the Hotel." Vaggie said. "He's out taking care of something important. He'll probably be back pretty soon. Kinda surprising, that he isn't already though."
"Oh, thank God." Mina sighed as she cried in relief. "He's here, and he's been keeping Eri safe."
"Great, now that we know she's not a threat…" Vaggie trailed off, before pointing her spear at Pentious again. "I'll ask again snake boy. What are you doing here?"
"I didn't come looking for a fight." Pentious said, getting up to what was his standing position. "I uhh… I heard that you're helping people. People who want to be better? The both of us did, actually." He added, gesturing to Mina.
"You heard right." Charlie gasped in excitement, as she rushed to him, while neither him, nor Vaggie noticed the look of terror on Mina's face, as she realized that she was still on a mission given to her and Pentious by the Vees. "Welcome to our home of healing. Our resort of restoration. Our-"
"Are you fucking nuts?" Angel questioned, standing in the doorway. "This chump was trying to kill us, like, literally six hours ago. An' we don't know a fucking thing about this one." He added, gesturing to Mina with one of his hands. "An' now you wanna bring them in here to live with us?"
"Okay Angel, we know Mina's character from Kaen's description of her. Plus, she's Eri's mother. So, we're going to give her a chance." Vaggie said. "Ergo, your concerns on her, while valid, don't hold any water."
"This place is about second chances." Charlie butted in. "An' who deserves one more than this… slithery… slippery… special little man?"
"Aren't you supposed to protect this place when the big guy ain't around?" Angel asked, looking to Vaggie.
Charlie turned to Vaggie, and gave her best puppy dog eyes to the one-eyed warrior woman.
"I… guess he's not much of a threat without the war machine." Vaggie said with a sigh, raising Pentious's spirits. "Or even with the war machine." That caused Pentious to sulk.
"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Charlie cheered, hugging Vaggie and spinning her around in her arms, before putting her down and rushing to Pentious. "Sir Pentious, Mina! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!"
"Oh, no Darling, thank you." Pentious said, slithering in after her. "You won't, regret this."
"Eh, I'll give you a week, tops." Angel said, being the last one to come in through the doors.
"Hey." Mina said, stepping up to Vaggie. "Can I talk with you, privately for a moment?"
"Uh, sure." Vaggie said, stepping to the side away from the others, while Charlie gave Pentious the grand tour. "What's up?"
"Be careful with Pentious." Mina said, pulling a watch off her wrist, and taking the battery out of it. "I'll be the first to admit this, but he and I were both sent by the Vee's, to ensure no deal was struck between Princess Charlie, and the Radio Demon."
"What?" Vaggie asked. "You agreed to it? Kaen told us you were a good person!"
"I know, I know. But I only agreed to this, because of two things. One, I still own my soul. I might work for Velvette, but I didn't sign my soul away to her, that was a detail I made explicitly clear when I agreed to work at her studio." Mina said. "The second reason I agreed to do this, was because I was promised an opportunity to go searching for Eri and Kaen, during my free time."
Vaggie sighed in annoyance, but understood why Mina had done this.
"Okay, so why tell me this?" Vaggie asked. "What's to stop me from putting an end to the mission right now?"
"I'm telling you, because there's no need to worry about Pentious." Mina said.
"What do you mean?" Vaggie inquired.
"Like you said, he's not much of a threat. He's gonna get caught in the act soon enough." Mina explained. "Just… play along for now. You'll see that, he's actually a person worth redeeming in the end."
Vaggie looked at Mina, but then to Eri in her arms, who'd cried herself back to sleep.
"Alright, fine I'll play along." Vaggie sighed.
"Vaggie, Mina!" Charlie called out. "Come on, we're going to do some honesty exercises."
Mina just looked to Charlie, before chuckling and went to join the circle, with Vaggie taking a seat next to Angel.
"Now, with a couple of new residents, I think it's important we all get to know each other. So, we are going to play a little game." Charlie said. "Everyone, follow me. My name is Charlie-clap-clap, I like to sing-clap-clap, and when we get to know each other, it's the greatest thing-clap-clap." She directed Pentious to go next.
"My name's Sir Pentious-clap-clap, I like to build-clap-clap, and despite my stupid Egg Bois, I think I'm very skilled-clap-clap." He went.
The both gestured for Mina to go next.
"My name is Mina-clap-clap, I love to cook-clap-clap, and with all the recipes I know, I can write a book-clap-clap." She gestured for Angel to go next, while Eri woke up again, and sat up straight in Mina's lap.
"This is stupid." Angel said.
"This is not stupid-clap-clap. It's just the game-clap-clap. Sir Pentious and Mina did it well so now please try to do the same-clap-clap." Charlie said.
"I am too sober for this." Angel said.
"Well get used to it, and learn how to play, this is going to be your whole day-clap-clap." Vaggie said with a smile.
"My name is Eri-clap-clap, I like music-clap-clap, and when sing a song I feel like I can do it-clap-clap." Eri said, catching onto the game and doing it.
"That was so good baby girl." Mina smiled, hugging her arms tightly and comfortingly around Eri.
~Kaen~
"Well, well… I never thought I'd see you here Steve Rogers." Barron Zemo stated, standing arrogantly on the cliffside. "Guess even you weren't righteous enough to enter through Heaven's pearly gates."
"I'm not Captain America." Kaen corrected him. "My name is Kaen, I'm a hero from Japan, who idolized Captain America. I even based my hero costume off him."
"I see." Zemo said, sliding down the side of the cliff, and stopping in front of him. "My apologies young man. I saw the shield, and I just assumed you were Rogers."
"An' you're one of his enemies, Barron Zemo." I said. "Guess purple even followed you into death."
"You're referring to my demonic sinner body." Zemo chuckled, looking over the purple skin, patterned like his mask, but scaly. "I'll admit, it took me some getting used to. But it became quite the benefit, when I clawed my way to the top as an Overlord of Hell."
"Why am I not surprised you're an Overlord?" Kaen sighed, pulling a pair of angelic steel brass knuckles, while putting his collapsed shield onto the mount on his back.
"What's this?" Zemo asked, watching as Kaen slipped the knuckles on. "You plan to fight me? Quite bold of you to do so young one. But very foolish."
"Spare me the lecture." Kean said, gripping his fists, and taking a fighting stance. "I had hoped you'd been taken out during one of the Exterminations, ensuring that my daughter didn't have to live in fear of you in Hell. But I guess I gotta do the dirty work myself."
"Interesting." Zemo chuckled. "Very well then, let us see who between us, is truly worthy, to keep living here in Hell."
Kaen didn't waste time, as he rushed into Zemo's personal space, his arms held up in a boxers defense, while his speed took Zemo by surprise. The supervillain Barron was barely able to deflect the first strike with his blade as Kaen threw a punch.
Maneuvering around, Kaen made sure to keep Zemo out of his blind spot as he kept jumping back, then lunging forward, throwing strike after strike of attacks, before he was forced to backpedal, as Zemo anticipated his attack, and swung his blade at him, the razor edge digging into the bridge of his nose, spilling his golden blood.
"Gold?" Zemo questioned, as Kaen staggered back, but kept his guard up. "I see… You're just like Rogers. You are an angel from Heaven."
"Former." Kaen tsked, spitting out some blood that got in his mouth. "I abandoned my place in the silver city, when I learned my family wasn't going to be there with me."
"Foolish sentimentality. You truly are like Rogers!" Zemo exclaimed, rushing Kaen.
Kaen moved back and forth, dodging strike after strike of Zemo's thrusting blade. He was going to make damn sure, that the first strike Zemo got on him was the only strike to land.
"I wonder boy." Zemo began, as he continued his assault, keeping Kaen on the defensive. "How would your family react, if I were to bring you your head? How would they react, if I were to make your woman mine?"
"Don't you dare touch her!" Kaen exclaimed, stomping his foot forward, and with a strong pivot of the hips, he ducked under Zemo's blade, and hit the Barron with a strong uppercut, right to the underside of the jaw, sending Zemo arching through the air while he looked completely shocked.
But what shocked him wasn't Kaen's sudden burst of anger. It was something else entirely. When Kaen had declared for Zemo to keep his hands to himself, his hair flashed a brilliant scarlet for a moment, with his iris taking on a matching hue. The flash of color was swift, with whisps of the color rising off the Saiyans body like flames, and barely noticeable, but for someone like Zemo, it might as well have been playing in slow motion.
~Hotel: Exercise 2~
Angel and Pentious stood in the middle of the lobby, with Angel dressed like a drug dealer, and Pentious dressed like an innocent child in a sailor's uniform. Angel wasn't putting his heart into it, and was reading from a script.
"Oh, I am a bad man on the streets, who didn't get enough hugs. Now, where's an innocent kid I can sell crack to?" He read aloud. "Wow, who wrote this?"
Eri raised her hand in response to that question.
"That explains it." Angel said.
"It's great right? Eri's an amazing script writer, I approved it on the spot." Charlie asked. "Keep going."
"Hey you." Angel said, pointing at Pentious as he continued reading from the script.
"Who me?" Pentious asked, while acting in character.
"Wow, he actually looks adorable when he makes that face." Mina said, reacting to the innocent wide eyed childs face Pentious was making.
"Yeah, you look like a kid who could use some…" Angel paused, looking at the phrase. "Devil's dandruff, seriously?"
"I wrote that phrase in." Charlie smiled.
"Not me, I have to go home and study." Pentious said, staying in character.
"Come on kid, it'll make you cool like me…" Angel paused again, this time for effect. "The crackhead."
"The only cool thing here, is to say no to drug." Pentious stated. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to not have sexual intercourse before marriage!"
That got a standing ovation out of Charlie.
"Yes! Oh bravo, bravo!" Charlie clapped as she stepped up to him. "Wow, Pentious, at this rate, you'll be redeemed in no time."
"I… I'm going to bed." Angel said, leaving the lobby.
Mina sighed, debating whether or not to follow after him. But she figured it'd be best to just let him be for now, while she held Eri on her lap.
"Come on Mina." Vaggie said. "I'll show you to the room Kaen's been staying in. You'll likely be wanting to share the same room as him, right?"
"Of course." Mina nodded, getting to her feet, Eri still in her arms. "I'm gonna read Eri a bedtime story first though."
"Then I'll show you to her room first. Both rooms are actually quite close to one another." Vaggie smiled softly.
~Kaen~
Kaen was breathing heavily, steam coming out of his mouth in short angered breaths as Zemo landed hard on the ground; the villain's blade discarded off to the side from his sudden impromptu air born flight.
"Ahahahahahaha…" Zemo laughed maniacally, as he laid there, before sitting up. "Oh, yes! That is, it!"
Kaen looked at Zemo, like he'd just gone insane. Well, more insane then the history books portrayed him to be.
"The rush of battle, the thrill of an unknown outcome in a fight. This is what I've been missing, what my afterlife has been devoid of. A real challenge, one where I don't have to hold back!" Zemo cheered happily, jumping to his feet, and cracking his neck, while wiping away the blood from his chin as he smirked. "Congratulations boy… you've officially awoken my warrior's spirit from its slumber. An' it's raging within me, yearning for your golden blood!"
"Oh, I see now." Kaen said, laxing his stance a bit, but his guard was up entirely. "I'm the first person in, what, two centuries, to give you a proper adrenaline filled fight, aren't I?"
"You have no idea how right you are boy." Zemo smirked, his body trembling with excitement. "Not even Alastor, the Radio Demon, could excite me in a battle like this. He is powerful, but you possess something he lacked. Something truly there that he was missing. You possess a Heroes spirit, the same drive I saw in Steve Rogers. You are my new muse for war!"
(Cue Music:… Land of Confusion: Disturbed)
Kaen just stared at Zemo, his eye glaring at the Barron, before it widened as Zemo was suddenly in his personal space, no weapon. No artillery. Just a fist pulled back, before it was thrown at the young Saiyan, the impact creating a cloud of dust surrounding them both.
The dust cloud settled softly, both hands placed forward gripping Zemo's caught fist, golden lightning sparking round his body, taking Zemo off guard.
Kaen redirected the strike to the side, gripping Zemo's wrist tightly, pulling the limb down forward, while bringing his knee up on the inner side of Zemo's arm, and slammed it into the villain's face, while dislocating Zemo's arm at the elbow before pivoting around and hitting Zemo with a shoulder throw, slamming him on the ground hard, while knocking the wind out of the villain, dislocating the arm again, but this time at the shoulder.
"GAAAHHH!" Zemo cried out, gripping his shoulder, his eyes opening in pain, before they shot open, and he quickly rolled away avoiding Kaen's boot as he stomped on the ground, cracks spiderwebbing out from the impact point.
Kaen jumped and twisted through the air, slamming an axe kick on the ground as Zemo kept rolling away, before jumping to his feet. Kaen rushed him, hitting him with a spinning back kick.
Zemo used his remaining good arm to grab Kaen's ankle, before spinning around, and throwing Kaen through the air.
Kaen cried out as he felt a painful crack in his arm, the skin cracking down his upper arm, as it scraped against a stray blade sticking out of the rubble, golden blood running down his arm.
"Now, the tables have turned." Zemo smirked.
Kaen just got to his feet, channeling 25% of One-for-All, through his body as he rushed Zemo, making the Overlord villain move back with pure survival instinct, nothing more. Didn't think, Zemo just reacted, as Kaen's knuckleduster fist impacted against the terrain, causing the ground to rumble, with boulders sprouting up all around them, trapping Zemo and Kaen in a makeshift arena of stone and rubble.
"Foolish boy." Zemo laughed his hands igniting with purple flames. "You just trapped yourself with me in a fight you cannot possibly hope to win."
"No. You've got it all backwards." Kaen huffed, the blood on his face drying, as his aura flared around him, and golden outlined black whip tendrils sprouted from the backs of his hands. "You're trapped here, with me!"
Without another word, Kaen pulled his arms back, and threw them forward, sending the black whip tendrils towards Zemo, the Villainous overlord taken by surprise as he was wrapped up in them, squeezing his body tightly like a boa constrictor.
"What is this?" Zemo questioned, gasping in pain.
"This, is your execution!" Kaen shouted, pulling his arms back strongly.
Zemo came flying towards Kaen, who stomped his foot on the ground, bringing up the Overlord's own sword, before stabbing it right through his heart, thrusting the blade forward in tandem with the momentum of Zemo's pull towards him.
(End song…)
Zemo's mouth opened in a silent cry of pain, realizing that this was the end for him. He glared at Kaen, gritting his teeth in pain, before they widened in fear, as he saw the silhouette of a great ape like demon behind the Saiyan.
"You, lose!" Kaen growled, before pulling the blade upwards, and slicing through Zemo up the center of his chest, all the way through to the top of his head.
Zemo's body fell to the ground, now completely lifeless and devoid of anything. Zemo's soul no longer in Heaven or Hell. It was in limbo, purgatory, the darkness that came before the dawn of time.
Kaen grit his teeth, red steam pouring out from under his eyepatch, before he took in a deep breath, releasing a battle cry that evolved into the primal guttural roar of a Great Ape.
~Hotel~
Angel sighed in annoyance, and depression, grabbing a bottle from behind the bar counter. Chugging it down, Angel stopped when he noticed a slithering silhouette moving through the shadows. Following where it went, he spotted Pentious in the study.
Setting up a security camera to spy on the residents.
"You slippery little shit!" Angel exclaimed, slamming the doors open, revealing he was watching Pentious. "You're working for the Vee's? I fucking knew there was something shitty about you. Mina's probably in on this too, isn't she?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Pentious said, moving away from Angel indignantly. "Whore bug."
The instant Pentious called him that, Angel lung at the snake sinner, pinning him to the ground, and struggling with him as they fought.
"Get your aggressively average body, off of me!" Pentious exclaimed, using his snake abilities to hit Angel with a hypnosis trick.
"Fuck!" Angel cried out, instinctively backing away, allowing for Pentious to move to the wall.
The effects didn't last long though, as Angel shook them off, and marched up to Pentious, just as Charlie and Vaggie came into the study, awakened by all the noise.
"What's going on?" Charlie asked with a yawn.
"This little bitch is a traitor." Angel said, gripping Pentious's wrist.
"Preposterous, I would never betray you." Pentious said. "You are my-"
"Can it!" Vaggie said. "Mina already spilled your mission to me. She told me what you're doing here. She also said you'd be caught soon enough. Looks like she was right. So there's no point in trying to lie to us."
That got Pentious to panic, and activated the watch on his wrist as he tried to leave out the locked window.
"Ah! Ah! Abort! Abort! SOS. Agent Pentious in need of immediate evacuation!" He exclaimed fearfully.
"Pentious?" Vox asked. "Wait, you were caught? It hasn't even been… a day."
"Please, you've got to get me out of here, Ashido went turncoat and spilled the mission details to the enemy." Pentious stated.
"I can't believe, we thought you could handle even something, this simple." Vox laughed. "I'm not even surprised Mina talked, she acts tough, but she's weak. I bet they interrogated her for a second before she spilled. Do us a favor, if they don't kill you, go ahead and do it yourself, you miserable failure!" He exclaimed, before shutting off communications.
"I… I…" Pentious stammered, before he turned back to the others, throwing off his watch and curling on the ground as he began to cry. "Just make it quick, I guess. Not that I deserve it."
"Gladly." Vaggie said, holding up her spear.
"Wait." Charlie said, stopping her girlfriend, before she crouched down and offered her hand to the suffering sinner. "Pentious?"
~Cue Song~
[CHARLIE]
It starts with "sorry"
That's your foot in the door, one simple "sorry"
Spoken straight from your core
The path to forgiveness is a twisting trail of hearts
But "sorry" is where it starts
[SIR PENTIOUS]
Who could forgive a dirtbag like me?
I don't deserve your amnesty
[ANGEL DUST & VAGGIE]
Can't we just kill him?
Shoot him and spill his blood?
[CHARLIE]
That's an option you could choose
[ANGEL DUST & VAGGIE]
Works for us
[CHARLIE]
But who hasn't been in his shoes?
It starts with "sorry"
[SIR PENTIOUS]
Sorry
[CHARLIE]
Dig down deeper and say one sincere "sorry"
[SIR PENTIOUS]
I'm so sorry
[CHARLIE]
And your journey's underway
It'll take time to cover your vast multitude of sins
[SIR PENTIOUS]
It'll take time to cover my vast multitude of sins
[CHARLIE & SIR PENTIOUS]
But "sorry" is where it begins
It starts with "sorry"
(End Song…)
"I hated that song." Niffty said, showing she'd seen the whole thing. "Why are you so lame? Not a bad boy." She huffed, kicking Pentious's tail, before storming off.
"Good first day." Charlie said softly, wrapping her arm around Vaggie's shoulder. "Let's go to-"
Charlie was interrupted in saying they should go to bed, when the door opened, and Kaen stepped in through the doors, a gauze taped over his nose, and bandage wraps around a splint on his arm.
"Kaen!" Charlie gasped, drawing Vaggie's attention to him, as the Princess went to his side, giving him a worried look as she examined the bandages. "What happened to you?"
"I'll be fine Charlie." Kaen sighed. "I just had an… unfortunate encounter with an Overlord."
"An Overlord?" Vaggie asked. "Please, please tell me it wasn't Zestial, or Missi Zilla. The last thing we need is for either of them to come storming the Hotel, and destroying it in a fit of rage from you picking a fight with them."
"Okay one, I didn't start the fight, but I am the one who finished it." Kaen said. "Two, it wasn't either of them, it was a different Overlord. He made himself sound like someone even Alastor would fear."
"Hmm." Pentious said, slithering in pondering. "The only Overlord I know who'd be capable of that would be Barron Zemo, the Overlord of Discourse."
Kaen looked to Pentious then back to Charlie.
"What is he doing here?" The wounded Saiyan asked.
"It's a long story." Charlie said. "But… there's also someone else here who you're gonna wanna see."
Kaen looked confused, before his head shot up, feeling a familiar Ki signature, as Mina stepped out onto the balcony, dressed in one of Kaen's shirts, which was oversized and like a dress on her. When Mina's gaze met his, Kaen couldn't help but feel an aching in his chest as she smiled at him, before saying one thing to him.
"Welcome home."
~Heaven~
"Hello there, and welcome to Crucifix Gym, where every workout will feel like a Crucifixion." The receptionist of the gym said. "Oh, hello Adam sir. Here to renew your expired membership?"
"Yeah." Adam said. "An' I'd like a personal trainer to help whip me into shape."
"Certainly, who would you like to have train you during your sessions here?" The receptionist asked, filing the renewal paperwork, before handing Adam their list of personal trainers.
Adam looked through the list, before smiling wickedly when he saw a familiar name and face on the list.
"Give me Rogers." Adam said. "An' let him know, I'll be scheduling a session, every single day."
"B-but sir, that's a little extreme don't you-"
"Did I stutter bitch?" Adam asked. "I won't say it again!"
"Y-yes sir. I'll inform him right away." The receptionist said, now a little intimidated by him.
Adam just stood there, his expression growing into a determined, and wicked smirk of self-pride and admiration.