Lyra woke up with a fresh wave of confusion. It wasn't about where she was this time, it was about the bed. The weight distribution felt weird.
Lily. Lyra remembered falling asleep next to her aunt. She turned her head. The other young woman was still asleep. Carefully turning back over, Lyra could make out the time on Lily's computer, still propped near the bed: a little past seven in the morning.
The teen stared at the number, feeling no strong compulsion to immediately rise. Lyra had no mother or little brother to attend to. She was still in limbo, waiting for others to act. Would they show up today? She should probably get ready, just in case. Lyra was still slow to rise. Even skipping out on a shower this morning, it was nearly eight by the time she'd gotten up and dressed in her own room.
The more Lyra thought about it, the less she expected her mother to come back. She'd been too stubborn. That left her dad then. But could he get over his fear? What if neither of them came here? Lyra didn't want to think that was the case, but could she be sure? The school year was going to start in only a few weeks-she couldn't miss that. Could she even survive that long without breaking down?
Lyra knew she was hungry, but she didn't go downstairs to eat. Her stomach was twisting from worrying too much.
Then there was a knock at her door, and it opened without time for Lyra to give a response.
"Hey," It was Loan, looking sour and disheveled as always. "My mom wants to talk to you." She held up her smartphone. "Don't drop it."
"Your mom?" Lyra was surprised. She could only assume it was about current events. She thought her aunt might've known the truth, but she couldn't be sure. Was she about to find out? Lyra approached and took it from her. Loan's body language made it obvious she wasn't leaving the doorway until her cousin gave it back. Lyra still moved to the window to get as much distance as she could and held the phone close. "Hello?"
"Lyra?" Her oldest aunt sounded relieved to hear her. "Okay, first off, tell me you and your brother are ok."
"I'm fine. Lemy already went back with our mom. How did you know we were here?"
"Wait, Luna's already been there?" Lori asked. "Loan didn't mention that. She just told me you guys were there."
"She came by yesterday afternoon." Lyra explained.
"Loan must've been asleep." Even over the phone, she could hear her aunt click her tongue. "You're sure you're okay?"
"Yes. I'm fine." Lyra sounded more sure than she felt.
"Good." Aunt Lori sounded relieved again. "Good. Can Loan hear you right now?" Lyra glanced back, finding her cousin still in her doorway.
"She won't leave until I give her phone back. But I have my own phone." Lyra quickly gave her aunt her number. Lori agreed to call her on that instead in a few minutes.
"So…what the hell happened?" Loan asked as Lyra handed her phone back.
"I…shouldn't talk about it." Lyra almost said she didn't want to talk about it. Both were true, but what she actually said reflected a truth: Loan wasn't involved in this and had no reason to know. In fact, Loan being here at all was just bad luck that put her in the middle of something else.
"My mom usually doesn't care about what her sisters get up to." Loan looked at her phone. "So I don't know why she is now."
"She cares. I just think she has trouble showing it." If Lori did know, Lyra could only assume that care was why she still kept in contact with Luna.
"Yeah." Loan agreed to her. The other teen looked to be in thought. "But whatever. Have fun talking to my mom." She yawned, turned, and walked off, waving her hand dismissively at her cousin. "I'm going to bed." Lyra felt something negative in those words, but her own phone ringing kept her from calling after. She closed the bedroom door and resumed the conversation with her aunt. The first words Lori spoke hit Lyra like a hammer.
"Lincoln told you, didn't he?"
Lori knew. She'd always known. And she'd done nothing.
"He told Lily." Lyra briefly explained the chance meeting with their aunt. "And I overheard."
"Oh, God." She could hear the dismay in her aunt's voice. "I'll have to call her too. Lyra, I am so sorry you guys had to find out about this."
"I deserved to know. I'm one of the people their mistakes-" She paused, regretting using that word. "-their actions affected."
"Luna didn't even apologize, did she?" Lori's correct assumptions just proved even more how much she knew.
"No." Lyra admitted. "She tried to insist it's my…it's Lincoln's fault." Before she could question her about knowing, Lori talked over her.
"I just tried calling her. But she's not answering. Your mom has always refused to take responsibility for what happened." Her aunt told her.
"How long have you known?" Lyra cut in. "How long did you know what my mom and the others were doing?"
"I…" Lori almost replied immediately, but it was clear even the most mature of her aunts was struggling. "It was before I left for college. Before your mom was even pregnant with you."
"And you didn't stop it?" Lyra asked, feeling her heart hammering. If Lori had done something then, Lyra wouldn't have been born. It wasn't something she wished for, but she couldn't help but wonder.
"I didn't know how to stop it. To be honest, even now I still don't know what to think about it." She could hear the frustration in her aunt's voice. "I was 18, I had my own life. All I could do was hope they grew out of it on their own. Trust me, Lyra, it wasn't easy." Lori exhaled, having gotten that off her chest. "What are you going to do?" She asked. "Do you want me to come pick you up?"
"No." Lyra shook her head even though Lori couldn't see her. "I want to stay here. I want to get to know Lily and my grandparents. I want my…I want my parents to come to me." That was still a struggle to say out loud. "I want them to be honest."
"You said your mom already came by? What happened? What did she say?"
"Just to get Lemy and ask me to go with her. She offered to explain herself after I did. But I couldn't." Lyra insisted. It was the right decision. She deserved it.
"What about Lincoln?" Her aunt asked next.
"He hasn't been here. He's so afraid of this place, I'm not sure he even will." Lyra admitted her fears.
"He will. If he hasn't by the time I get over there, I'll drag him there myself." Lori stated with conviction.
"You really don't have to-" But Lyra was cut off.
"Yes I do." Lori stated firmly. "This affected me too. It affected my parents, my sisters, my brother, and my nephews and nieces. This whole thing tore the family apart, Lyra. You must realize that by now."
"I do." The teen admittedly quietly.
"Then you understand. And I'm sure you understand the responsibilities big sisters have." Lori's voice took on a different tone. "I didn't do anything back then when I should have…but I'm not going to stand by now. If Lincoln and Luna are going home, I'm going to be there too. Sorry, Lyra, but it's not up for debate."
"No, it's alright. I understand." Just like Lily, Lori was being driven by the loss of her family. Lyra couldn't in good conscience keep her from that anymore than she could Lily. She couldn't be selfish. She wasn't the only one that deserved a resolution.
"They'll be there soon, Lyra, I promise you." Her aunt reassured her. The teen wasn't alone in wanting things mended.
"Thank you." She couldn't keep her voice from welling up.
Knock knock knock
Luna woke up to that annoying sound. But she was immediately alert, wondering who the hell was being that insistent this early in the morning.
The hotel room Luna had gotten was a two bed one. That was normal; one for her, one for her kids. But one of them was completely empty. Lemy had laid down next to her last night, and she had to carefully move her arm out from under her sleeping son before she could get up.
Knock knock knock
They were still at it, and even Lemy was starting to stir. Luna finally got out of bed and started for the door, stepping on an empty pizza box as she did. Lemy sat up in bed as she reached it and looked through the peephole.
"Ah hell…" Luna muttered to herself. Then she opened it to let Sam in. When both women got here yesterday morning, Luna had asked her partner to stay at a different hotel. She wanted some space to patch things up with her kids. Luna knew she was only here to check on her-she'd been worried about her agitated behavior the whole way back.
"Hey." Sam greeted as she stepped in and quickly closed the door behind her. She immediately spotted Lemy climbing out of bed. "You got them?" She looked around the room for Lyra, but it was obvious she wasn't here. None of the teen's belongings were there and Lyra would've never let the hotel room get messy. Sam must've known that, but she still looked around, even walking to the back of the room to make sure the bathroom was empty. "Is Lyra in another room?" She asked.
"Nah." Luna wished she was. "She ah…she's at my parent's. That's where they ended up. Only Lemy came back with me." Her son was still standing by the bed, looking confused. The pizza and movies yesterday had helped, but she knew things would only be cool when Lyra came back. "She's too pissed at me."
"What happened?" Sam asked. She'd asked that on the trip a few times, and each time Luna hadn't given her a straight answer beyond blaming Lincoln for mucking things up. She knew she had to give her girlfriend some of the truth, but she really hoped she would've had her kids back first. But Sam was worried about her, and even about her kids. Luna couldn't saddle her with that, not knowing how long Lyra would take to cool down. Luna sighed.
"Why don't we get some breakfast, Babe? We just woke up."
"She's safe at least, right?" Sam asked, looking between her and Lemy.
"Lyra's fine. They both are." Luna swore, and Lemy nodded when Sam looked over in his direction again. "And I know she's safe over there. Let's just get something to eat."
Both mother and son threw on some clean threads and the three walked to the lobby. Like most places, the hotel offered free breakfast. It wasn't very crowded, which suited Luna fine, especially since she hadn't bothered putting on anything to look incognito. Sam hadn't either, which spoke to the rush she'd been in to check on her. They got the table in the back corner away from the front windows where they could talk.
Luna had spent the journey here thinking what to say to her kids, not her girlfriend. She only got five minutes to do so, while she got her first cup of coffee in her system. Luna was going to tell Sam the truth, but not all of it. When Lemy had asked her about where Sam was yesterday, he'd eventually asked if she knew who their dad was. She didn't, and Luna used the chance to double down on what she'd said in the car.
That secret stayed in the family. Sam was her partner. Hell, Luna still intended her to be her wife someday. That was important, but not as important as her flesh and blood family members. Lori thought the same way; it was almost like a family ethos. Luna couldn't tell Sam that, but she'd tell her everything else she could.
The blond was watching her expectantly. Lemy was munching on donuts, but he was watching her too. He probably wanted to hear something about his sister.
"Sammy," Luna started. "You know I'm a fucking idiot, don't you?"
"A lot of the time, yeah. But you always had the single mom thing down, so what's Lyra so upset about?"
"I didn't really leave town on the best terms with Mom and Pop. I did something pretty fucked up." Luna admitted. Sam always knew that, but Luna had always let her assume that was the sole reason she left Royal Woods. "You remember Lily? My youngest sister? Well, Lyra ran into her in town. She still lives with my folks, so Lyra met them and now she knows. That's why she's so pissed at me."
Luna watched her girlfriend's reaction. The confusion was turning into something Luna always hated to see from Sam: suspicion. Luna knew she could never rebuild enough trust to be free of that.
"What did you do?" Sam asked, sounding more accusatory than she had in years. Luna flinched. "Lyra always gave you crap for a lot of bad things, but she never ran away." Lyra had called her own mother a drunk and a whore back when she openly criticized everything she did. But those had been emotional outbursts from a teenager that just started puberty. Luna still believed her daughter knew she'd been overstating things.
Lyra hadn't been overstating this though.
"Destroyed my family." Luna leaned back. "Lyra's been a bus kid most of her life. But she could've had grandparents. She could've had aunts. Even more cousins." Luna wasn't actually sure if any of her other sisters had kids or not, but the possibility was there. "And she didn't. Cause I fucked things up with them. I…I did the best I could and she knows it, but she's still pissed at me."
Luna leaned forward, head resting on her knuckles. She understood exactly where Lyra had been coming from, showing hurt at not being able to grow up with that kind of life. Luna had wanted it for her and Lemy too. And when that became impossible, she tried to make the best of it. But she knew not even a life of travel and luxury could beat the comforts of home and a big family.
God, Luna missed those days too.
"But what did you do?" Sam asked again.
"I didn't do anything!" Luna snapped, raising her voice and startling her son and her girlfriend. "It was Lincoln and one of my other sisters that screwed up. And I helped cover their asses, me and all my other sisters I send them to besides Lori." She motioned to Lemy. "So, Mom and Dad got pissed off at the lot of us!" She leaned back again. "We all felt like we had to be loyal to each other, no matter what." And look where it had gotten them. "All of us botched things for our kids."
With that, Luna hoped Sam would understand. She'd given her everything she could and was honest about all of it. Even hearing herself say it out loud, Luna understood it better. They'd all had to stick together back then, out of the belief in some strong and unique bond only they had. And no matter how much she wanted to call herself stupid like she had in the car with Lyra, Luna couldn't. Cause she remembered where that belief originated from, and it was a place she missed. It was all fucked. No matter what they did, it would always be fucked. But they had to keep going.
The suspicion was gone from Sam's face. In its place was some kind of understanding. Luna could see the curiosity too, but she could also tell her girlfriend was resisting the urge to ask. After all, if Luna was willing to go against her own parents, what chance did she have?
"So, it's some pretty big family drama, huh?" She finally said.
"The kind only one as big as mine could have." Luna shrugged.
"So, what are you going to do?" Sam asked. "You talked to her already, didn't you?"
"Yeah. When I got Lemy. She's not ready to forgive me yet. She's going to want to come back eventually. I just have to wait her out. Teenagers, you know?" Luna put on a wry smile.
"Then what?" Sam didn't think that was a complete plan.
"Talk to her and explain things. Hope she'll forgive her mum." Even before Luna finished saying that, Sam was frowning at her, sapping all her confidence. Then, a shot through the heart.
"Luna, you're not good at getting people to forgive you. You should explain things to Lyra and then ask her to forgive you." Luna couldn't look Sam in the eyes after that. They were two different sets of circumstances, but it was still Luna asking for the same thing. She thought she knew her own daughter and could count on her coming back sooner rather than later. But she'd thought the same about Sam too, and that took years longer than Luna ever anticipated. Luna hadn't betrayed her daughter as bad as she had her girlfriend, but…
It wouldn't just be Lyra; Luna was sure if her daughter had her way, she'd make Luna justify herself to her parents and baby sister as well. Luna couldn't do it back then, and she didn't think she could do it now. She was a 31-year-old woman still afraid of her parents. And Lily…her littlest sister wasn't so little anymore, but that betrayed look in her eyes…Luna really wondered if that had been the look in Mom and Pops' eyes the night they found out too.
"Do you want me to go talk to her?" Sam offered.
"No." Luna immediately made eye contact. "No. My family drama, I'll handle it." Luna didn't think Lyra would intentionally tell Sam, or even accidentally, but she couldn't be sure about the others. Things were bad enough, Luna didn't know how she'd cope if she lost Sam too.
Probably by murdering Lincoln.
"Then you need to do it sooner rather than later. You know waiting will just make it worse. What if she doesn't come back at all? Playing cool isn't going to fix it, Luna." It didn't for us. Luna knew what she was getting at. When she'd rejoined the band, she'd played it up, trying her best to be casual like she still had that energy. Like she wasn't a tired woman in her third trimester. Sam hadn't been amused, and even when she made barbs Luna tried to play them off, until Sam tore into her for that too. And for the whole year after that they hadn't spoken.
Lyra was going to be 16 soon. She was smart enough to be done with schooling. Luna's daughter was going to be an adult soon. Did Luna really want to risk creating a gulf and miss the cumulation of all her efforts since Lyra had been born? Was this going to be the one thing Luna deemed too much for the sake of her kids, after she'd upended her whole life just for them.
Luna had destroyed her family once for Lyra's sake. She wasn't sure if this would be doing it again, but if she had to do it…
Luna really hoped Lyra would have the heart to forgive her and come home.
Luna nodded, but held off verbal confirmation until she was sure she wasn't going to puke when she opened her mouth.
"You're right." Luna swallowed her nausea. She looked over at her son, quiet and unmistakably shaken by the notion of Lyra not coming back. He's counting on his Mum to get his sister to come home. Luna's resolve settled even though her stomach wouldn't. "Sam, I never asked you to babysit because I know it isn't right-"
"I'll watch him till you get back. Both of you." Sam promised.
"I'd kiss you, Babe, but I think I'm going to puke." Luna was honest about her fear. "I'll be back soon."
Lincoln had only ever gotten these three in the same room together one other time since he came back. The atmosphere was just as frosty. Lynn's unhidden hostility. Luan's indifference. Lucy's outward stoicness hiding a younger sister shrinking away in fear of her elder siblings. Nothing had changed between that first meeting and this one except the circumstances.
"2-0 on keeping things secret, huh?" Lynn wasn't holding back.
"This wasn't my fault."
"Fate transpires-"
"Shut the hell up." Lynn cut Lucy off. "You need to fix this, Lincoln." She threatened. "I'm not upending Lacy's life because of this."
"It's not going to come to that." Lincoln didn't think he could leave town again. Leave his kids behind again. He'd gained so much in the last five years he couldn't bear to lose. He'd fight it if he had too. But that still carried risks. That was why he'd gone through the trouble of getting Lynn and Luan to meet with Lucy again. If something did happen-and no matter what Lincoln couldn't shake the fear-they had to know. They had to make sure the three girls upstairs right now would be safe.
"Just let Luna take them on the road again. Cut your losses." For the meathead of the group, Lynn wasn't advocating a head on approach; she wanted it swept under the rug.
"Your daughter isn't more important than the others, Sister." Lucy saw through her. Lynn's willingness to share had always been tepid. If Lincoln had one less kid (or kids in this case) to worry about and could spend more time with Lacy, she was okay with that.
"You heard Lincoln! He fumbled things with Luna's kids all on his own. Take the loss and prepare for the next game. Ow!" Lynn reacted to Luan kicking her in the back.
"I can't do that. I can't lose a single one of my kids. Not again." Lincoln spoke his resolve out loud. "I owe a lot to Lyra, and I'm going to make it up to her. Just like I made it up to all of you." Lincoln looked at them each. Only Lynn refused to smile openly, but the sagging of her shoulders was sign enough of her acceptance. They knew the kind of person their brother was. Dedicated.
"You know what you're going to do?" Luan asked.
"I'm still not completely sure yet." Lincoln admitted. If Lyra was with Mom and Dad, he couldn't go home. He hadn't really figured it out how yet, but he was hoping to get her and Lily to agree to meet him in the park; they'd both loved that place when they were little, even though only Lily probably remembered it. But before he figured out the details-and to give him time to build up the necessary fortitude-he wanted to make sure his other sisters and kids would be safe. "But just in case it goes wrong, I want to make sure you and the girls will be ok." He reached into his pocket and pulled out three rubber banded stacks of money, all about equal in size. "Everything I have."
Lynn snatched one out of his hands without hesitation. But Luan shook her head, and when offered Lucy grabbed both his hands with hers and pushed them back towards him.
"We still owe you a lot too, Lincoln." She told him. "Face the darkness and come back to us."
"I think I'll stay here with Lucy until you do." Luan decided. Lincoln couldn't keep the appreciation off his face.
His phone rang. Thinking it was Lyra; Lincoln dropped the money while frantically trying to pull it out of his pocket. It wasn't his estranged daughter, but Lincoln answered it immediately anyway. If Loan was at Mom and Dad's too, then Lori probably knew what was going on. That was actually one of the ways he'd considered getting Lily and Lyra to meet him somewhere other than the house.
"Lori?" Lynn and Luan looked at him with surprise. Lucy's expressionless face formed a hidden smile.
"I spoke to Lyra earlier." Lori got right to the point, much to her brother's shock but also relief. He turned around, about to pelt his eldest sister with a boatload of questions about his daughter. But this wasn't a conversation he could get away with in present company.
"On speakerphone, Lincoln!" Lynn put him into a headlock from behind. Lincoln reflexively tried to grab her arm around his neck, which brought his hand with his phone close enough for her to grab it from him. Lynn put it on speakerphone and held it up so everyone present could hear and speak. "What do you want, Lori?" There was no response at first.
"Lynn." Lori's voice was artificially sweet. "Anyone else there?"
"Luan and Lucy are." Lincoln wasn't wasting time. "You spoke to Lyra? Is she okay?" Lucy and Luan were the only ones that shared his concern as they waited for a response.
"Yes. She's fine." Lincoln felt a huge amount of stress leave his shoulders. "Luna already went there and picked Lemy up. I tried, but I couldn't reach her."
"Luna?" She'd already gotten here? Lincoln's stress levels went back up. If Luna got both of them already, he might never see them again… But there was a proverbial life raft in Lori's words. "She only picked up Lemy?"
"Lyra's still at Mom and Dad's with Lily." Lori informed him. That wasn't good news, but it was better than Luna grabbing both of them and skipping town. "She's not ready to leave until she gets more answers. And she wants you to come to her." Definitely not good news. "You owe her that, and a hell of a lot more."
"I-I know. I know!" Lincoln shouted the answer a second time while the first try was a quiet admission.
"And the rest of you better stay the hell out of his way." Lori warned. Visibly fuming, Lynn brought the phone down, ready to yell into it. A handkerchief rope was suddenly stuffed into her mouth. Shocked, Lynn dropped Lincoln's phone. He caught it and beat a hasty retreat, quickly thanking Luan as he extracted himself from the situation.
"Alright, they're in a different room now." He told his eldest sister.
"What are you four even doing?" Lori asked suspiciously.
"Just covering our bases. Mom and Dad don't know we all still live here." Lincoln explained.
"Lincoln, you need to listen to me. Listen. To. Me." Lori put on her big sister voice. "Are you listening?"
"I'm listening."
"Right now, you only have two kids. DON'T do anything to change that." Lori told him. "Focus on that, NOT being an uncle. Focus on the SINGLE daughter you have."
"Alright, alright. I get it, Lori. You don't have to repeat it so much." Lincoln told her. "I already know that this is the worst time for it."
"If I had any faith you'd listen to me, I wouldn't have to." Lori was direct and brutal here. "Now, Lincoln. I'm not asking you; I'm telling you to go home right now and talk to Lyra. Right now."
"That-" Lincoln couldn't possibly-
"She's been talking to Mom for two days now. They're over it, Lincoln." She told him. But he had trouble believing it. She hadn't been there that night.
"Lori, there's no- "
"Shut up, Lincoln!" Now Lori shouted at him, and he almost dropped the phone from his own shock. Lori was quiet for a moment. "You told me how much your kids meant to you. You told me how much you missed the old days." She took a breath. "We can't get those days back," she acknowledged, "but things can be fixed. And I know you have the strength to do it. You were always strong enough to do the right thing even when you were a kid. That's what made you such an amazing brother and an amazing person. And I know you still are that person, Lincoln. I know you can do it."
Lincoln needed a minute to let that praise roll over him. He'd always harbored some doubts about that, given how precarious his sisters' finances sometimes got, or how frosty they were with each other-how frosty Luna had been with him too. He'd tried, but it seemed like it hadn't been enough sometimes. His daughters' smiles had always reassured him. Hearing it from his eldest sister, the first one to criticize him over it, meant a lot.
"I have no idea how I'm going to pull it off."
"Never stopped you before."
"No. No it didn't." Although his nerves still tingled, Lincoln could tell what he was about to do. "Alright. I'll head home."
"Talk to Lyra first. She needs to hear from you first. Don't worry about Mom or Dad yet. You aren't the only one responsible for that. All of you will explain that together."
"Uh, Lori…" Lincoln didn't see that happening.
"Lyra first, Lincoln." Lori said again. "Do it." Her tone softened. "I'm heading over. I'll see you soon, Little Bro." The call ended, leaving Lincoln standing there alone with his thoughts.
Messing things up with Lori. Messing things up with his parents. Messing things up with all his sisters in one way or things up with Lyra. All of them were colliding together, like mistakes tended to. And with all of them in one place, he could fix them all at once. Maybe. Even now, Lincoln wasn't entirely sure.
But he was going to try.