Author note- Thanks for the Reviews. I'm so excited to share the next few chapters with you all. I think they are turning out really well. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Song inspiration- I Want To Hold Your Hand- The Beatles
Chapter 20
I Want To Hold Your Hand
Harry groaned as he woke up. His neck was twisted at a weird angle, and something was knotted up under his back. Blinking slowly, he realized he'd fallen asleep in the sitting room again.
"Morning." Snape grumbled from the hall.
Harry sat up and rubbed at his face. His shirt was twisted and his pants felt like they'd been plastered to his skin with sweat.
Standing and stretching his back, Harry followed Snape into the kitchen.
Two cups of hot coffee sat on the table and Harry was thankful for the house elves. Sitting at the table he pulled his cup closer and took a sip.
The coffee tasted delicious and seemed to be clearing the grogginess from his brain.
"Where did you learn that charm?" Snape asked from across the table.
Harry's brows furrowed. Had he cast a charm?
"The ball of light?" Snape clarified.
Harry looked above the table and realized he'd cast it without thinking. His face heated a little.
"I didn't learn it. I don't like the dark. Er…when I was in the cupboard, I didn't always have a lightbulb. Sometimes they'd take it away if I was really in trouble." Harry mumbled as he played with the cup.
Snape hummed but didn't comment.
Harry fidgeted nervously for a moment.
"It's impressive the amount of magic you have control over. To have any control before you get a wand is amazing. Lily and I occasionally would perform small spells that my mother had taught me. Lily loved it when something worked out. The way her eyes would light." Snape said softly.
Harry smiled a little.
"What were some of her favorite spells?" Harry asked cautiously.
Snape smiled a little.
"She was rather fond of Langlock jinx. She always wanted to have the last word." Snape said with a soft laugh.
"She cast it frequently on James in our school days when she'd had enough of his taunting." Snape added.
Harry smirked a little. He felt like he was getting a better view of his parents. Not perfect or horrible but something more human.
"What does your day look like?" Snape asked.
Harry sighed.
"I have a free period this morning, then History before lunch. Then Double Herbology." Harry sighed rubbing his face.
"I was meeting with Remus for appointments and Legilimens lessons on Tuesday but…I don't know if I'm supposed to still be doing that." Harry groaned.
His mind did feel calmer and what he told George last night was true, he did think this was the best he'd been in a long time. Part of that right now though was that his mind felt sorted. If he started dragging everything up again in session, he thought it would probably get worse again.
He'd been serious when he told Remus he wouldn't talk about Rick again. Remus already felt uncomfortably mixed into his unpleasant memories of Rick. Harry just wanted to close that chapter in his life. He knew it wasn't his only issue, but He didn't exactly want to talk about the Dursley's either.
"Harry." Snape called.
Harry looked up, realizing he'd gotten lost in his thoughts. The look on Snapes face said that he'd missed something the man had said.
"Sorry." Harry mumbled.
"It's fine. I was saying I think you can likely forgo the lesson for now. It would be best for us to complete your Occlumency lessons before you resume Legilimens lessons. As for your mind Heeling, Remus has asked that you and I talk for the time being. Your parents feel there is some relationship repair the three of you need to do. They are of course available any time, but I do not believe you are expected to be in his office today." Snape explained.
Harry sighed. A little in relief but also in defeat. He knew he shouldn't have shouted at Remus, and he knew he'd not been very kind to either of them this year. He'd been distant and argumentative.
"I believe you have an Astronomy class tonight?" Snape asked.
Harry nodded. He loved looking at the stars but trudging up to the Astronomy tower in the middle of the night for class had lost its appeal by third year.
"Very well. I suggest we both return here after dinner, and we will do your occlumency lesson and talk for a while. We can do that in whatever order you feel comfortable with. I have patrol this evening after curfew, which should give you time to address your homework before your class." Snape said calmly.
Harry nodded and stood from the table. It wasn't great and he wasn't looking forward to Occlumency but at least it freed up his afternoon. Perhaps he'd see if Draco wanted to go for a walk.
"Sound's good. I'm going to go get ready for the day. Sorry about kipping on the couch again." Harry mumbled.
Snape snorted.
"It's hardly the strangest place I've found a teenager sleeping. Some time I'll tell you about the student's sleeping on the stairs." Snape said, shaking his head and taking their cups to the sink.
Draco kicked a rock as Harry led them around the lake. Harry had invited him for a walk after classes. The sky was dark, and the wind whipped at their hair and cloaks. It wasn't really the best day for a walk, but he enjoyed spending time with Harry, so he trudged along.
"Are you settling back into classes okay?" Draco asked.
Harry hummed a little and shrugged.
"I'm still getting a lot of stares like I'm just going to disappear in the middle of Charms or something." Harry sighed.
Draco nodded. He wondered if Harry understood how much his disappearance had shaken the school. Especially when several of the staff had disappeared as well.
"They're scared." Draco replied.
Harry looked sadly over his shoulder.
"I know. I'm trying to do what I can." Harry said before slumping and sitting on the grass.
Draco looked down at him before glancing out at the lake. He saw a ripple he thought might be the giant squid, then smaller ripples that showed that it was starting to rain.
"I keep hearing whispers about that article too." Harry said, shaking his head. A dark blush had begun to creep up his face.
Draco felt sorry for him. It was wrong that the Prophet was allowed to get away with the lies they spread about Harry.
"I hope it hasn't made things difficult with you and Blaise. I'm sorry you got caught up in the Boy-who- lived nonsense." Harry sighed.
Draco's brows pinched together in confusion. He turned in time to feel a raindrop catch his cheek.
Harry looked up and gasped as he stood.
"I'm sorry." Harry said raising his hand like he was going to touch Draco's cheek before his hand fell back to his side. He looked gutted and Draco had no idea why.
"What?" Draco said in confusion.
Harry swallowed.
"Have things been that bad?" Harry said raising his hand again.
Draco raised his hand to wipe the raindrop from his cheek and flushed, realizing that Harry thought he was crying.
"It's rain." Draco said dismissively.
It was Harry's turn to blush. He looked away awkwardly.
"Right. Sorry. I just… I know the Prophets drama can cause problems. I just hope you and Blaise are all right." Harry mumbled awkwardly.
Draco raised an eyebrow.
"Blaise and I?" Draco asked in confusion.
"Well, the article made it sound like you and I were…well…but were not. I just hope that didn't cause issues in your relationship." Harry said.
Draco laughed.
"Who told you Blaise and I were together? Pansy? She's such a gossip. We broke up at the end of last year." Draco said, shaking his head.
Harry wrapped his arms around his stomach, color draining from his cheeks.
"Er…no…No one told me. I saw you two snogging in an alcove at the beginning of the year." Harry said looking out at the lake.
Harry had seen that?
Well, he supposed that would have kept anything between them from ever going anywhere. Draco rolled his eyes. Blaise had already had several relationships since then, if you could call them that.
Draco looked Harry over and saw a flicker of what he thought was hurt in his eyes. Maybe Harry did like him. If that was true though, then what was going on with George? Draco felt like this was his first real opportunity to maybe try and make a move. He worried that he'd fumble it horribly. Maybe he shouldn't.
"Oh, that. Yeah, Blaise thought I was looking at him in class. He might have gotten the impression I was interested in hooking back up. He kind of snogged first and asked questions later." Draco joked; a smile creasing his cheek as he talked.
The smile fell away when Harry turned back, and his eyes were actually glowing. Draco gasped and took a step back.
"Harry?" Draco called, fear thickening his voice.
Draco could see that Harry's jaw was clenched and his hands were shaking in fists at his sides. He thought over what he'd just said and winced internally. Harry had been forced into something on Halloween. Draco was sure of that. When he'd reflected on the injuries he'd seen on Harry, he was sure he'd seen bites and hickeys.
"Hey, it's okay. I was fine. Blaise and I are friends. He didn't hurt me." Draco said calmly, looking Harry in the eye, though it was slightly alarming to look into the green glow. Draco thought his eyes looked like the killing Curse when they were glowing like that.
That thought stuck in his mind. The flash of green and dead eyes staring at him.
Draco felt his body begin to shake and a cold sweat broke out over his back. He could hear screaming in his ears. See people bleeding on the marble floor of his family's dining room.
Draco's heart pounded and his hearing felt muffled.
"Draco."
Harry knelt in front of Draco. Harry hadn't meant to upset him. He just didn't like the thought of someone hurting Draco. Not like that. He knew he wasn't unique in the abuse he had suffered with Rick, but he didn't want to think about anyone he cared about being hurt that way.
Draco was hyperventilating and he had tears streaming down his face. He had no idea what he had said or done that had set this off. He had said Blaise hadn't hurt him.
Harry felt his own panic creeping up. He'd had plenty of panic attacks and was sure that's what was happening with Draco. Despite his firsthand experiences, he'd never helped someone else through a panic attack. Should he reach out or was it better not to touch him. Should he just try and call to him?
Harry reached out and took Draco's hand only to find himself flat on his back with Draco's wand an inch from his face. Draco's eyes looked glazed like he wasn't really there.
"Draco!" Harry cried out in alarm.
Draco's hand was hard on his collar bone, the pressure was too much, and Harry was afraid the bone would snap.
"Draco, Please, I'm sorry." Harry shuttered.
Draco blinked a few times and finally seemed to see Harry.
Draco seemed even shakier as he pulled himself up.
Harry stayed on the ground, slightly shaken by the unexpected physical altercation.
"Draco?" Harry called again.
Draco looked at him before shaking his head and then taking off at a run back through the grass around the lake.
Harry jumped to his feet and began chasing him. The wind picked up and the rain began falling harder. As they neared the castle Harry lost sight of Draco.
Looking around the courtyard he saw nothing. A flash of lightning and a sudden clap of thunder startled him, and he looked around wildly. The rain poured harder, and Harry pulled his useless glasses from his face. Draco wasn't anywhere.
Running up the front steps of the castle, Harry hoped that Draco had gone inside.
Harry growled in frustration. There was still no sign of Draco. He thought for a moment and knew that they both favored the Astronomy tower when they wanted space. He went to head up the stairs but hesitated. He didn't know how to help Draco.
Sighing he turned and headed for the dungeon.
Severus was sitting on his couch with Tris grading essays, when the door to his rooms flew open. Harry tumbled in soaking wet. Severus sighed, he really thought the boy might not have any survival skills at all.
"Snape, I…Er…oh…Hi Professor Comiso." Harry said walking around in front of the fireplace.
Severus was thankful that he had already told Tris that Harry was staying with him. She'd been understanding and appreciated the heads up. Severus had kept the reasoning vague. She and the other staff had all been made aware of some of what had happened with Fletcher. Namely that there had been an intruder who had attacked two students and was now dead because of a duel.
He wished he'd let Harry know that Tris might be here. He was willing to have Harry in his quarters, but he'd greatly enjoyed having a year where he was actually interacting with the other staff. He would hate to give it up now.
Harry stood dripping and fidgeting in front of them. He looked upset and anxious. Severus looked him over and then caught sight of a blooming bruise peeking out of his shirt where the buttons had been undone.
Severus stood.
"Excuse us for a moment." Severus said quietly.
Tris smiled and nodded before turning back to her grading.
"Come with me." Severus said, leading Harry into the kitchen before setting up privacy wards.
"What's going on?" Severus asked.
Harry twisted his hands anxiously.
"I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I…um…I can handle it…Or um…maybe." Harry rambled.
"Stop. You've not interrupted anything but grading, which will hold. Why are you soaking wet?" Severus asked, before stepping closer and pulling slightly at the front of Harry's shirt.
"And where did the bruise come from?" Severus growled.
Harry sighed.
"I'm fine. I need you to go check on Draco." Harry said pulling his shirt back in place.
Severus felt his stomach twist.
"What's wrong with Draco?" Severus asked, a knot coiling in his stomach.
Harry looked down at his sodden clothing.
"I think he had a panic attack or something. We were out by the lake. I tried to calm him down but that just made it worse. Then he just ran away. I think he probably went up to the Astronomy tower. He finds it peaceful. I was going to follow him, but…I think he needs you." Harry said while twisting his hands.
Severus brows furrowed. He'd known Draco his whole life and never heard of him having a panic attack. Though he'd experienced things in the last six months that he'd never experienced before.
Severus nodded.
"All right. Thank you for coming to get me. Get in dry clothes. I will get you some bruise balm when I return." Severus said sweeping out of the kitchen.
"I apologize. It appears I need to deal with head of house responsibilities. I'm not sure how long I'll be. Your welcome to stay." Severus said apologetically.
Tris threw her hair over her shoulder and smiled at him.
"Is your roommate going to mind." Tris said with a laugh, mirth shining in her eyes.
Severus thought her eyes were beautiful like that. Shaking the thought from his head he looked over his shoulder at where Harry was trying to sneak off to his room.
"I've got warding questions." Harry said casually as he continued his way down the hall.
Severus smirked and rolled his eyes.
"I guess as long as a few extra student minutes wont ruin your night, your welcome to stay." Severus said wryly.
Tris smirked back.
"He's not like talking to any of the other students. I think I'll survive." Tris said.
Severus conceded with a nod before tossing his teaching robes on and heading for the door.
Draco leaned against the half wall of the astronomy tower looking out as the storm raged around the castle.
He couldn't believe he'd attacked Harry. He sniffled slightly and shook the image of Harry's fearful eyes from his mind.
The door behind him creaked. He shouldn't have come up here. Harry knew this was where he came when he was upset.
"I'm fine, Harry. I'm really sorry about what happened. I hope you're okay… I need some space though." Draco said before sniffling again. The tears threatened to fall but he tried to hold them back as the silence stretched out.
Maybe Harry had actually left. That was a depressing thought. Though if Harry had left, he couldn't fault him. He'd said he needed space, and Harry was good about respecting other people's boundaries.
A brush of robes startled him. He turned and found the concerned face of his godfather.
"Harry thought you might need me." Severus said quietly before looking out to the grounds.
Draco felt a tear slip free as he nodded.
"I don't know what happened. One minute everything was fine. We were talking and then…" Draco cut himself off as a sob bubbled up.
He felt like he was losing his mind. Harry hadn't done anything. Harry's eyes were always green. Maybe they hadn't even been glowing. Maybe his mind had made that up.
"I thought I was back at the manor." Draco admitted softly.
Severus sighed and nodded.
"You had a flashback." Severus said calmly.
Draco's brows furrowed. He had no idea what that meant.
"A flashback is when one or more of the senses suddenly re-experiences a past trauma. When someone endures trauma there can be side effects that appear later on. Panic attacks, flashbacks, nightmares. People can become irritable, hypervigilant, anxious, depressed. Trauma leaves an impact on the mind." Severus explained.
Draco stared into the rain and let that sink in.
"Do you know what triggered it?" Severus asked.
Draco swallowed thickly.
"I… I thought his eyes were glowing…I know that doesn't make any sense. Maybe it was just the lightning. It made me think of the killing curse." Draco explained, swallowing thickly. He tried not to let his mind wander back to the manor.
Severus brought a hand to his face.
"Was he upset?" Severus asked with a sigh.
Draco thought back to their conversation and nodded.
"Yeah." Draco whispered.
Severus nodded.
"When Harry gets angry, sometimes he loses some control over his elemental magic. His eyes do glow sometimes." Severus explained.
Draco nodded; he supposed that made sense. He'd never seen Harry use his elemental magic other than when he set Mr. Nott on fire. He'd certainly been angry then.
"What upset him?" Severus asked, turning to face Draco.
Draco blushed and shook his head. He didn't really want to explain the whole thing. Though he knew that Severus wouldn't judge him. Severus had listened all year as he'd prattled on about Harry.
Draco went on to explain the Blaise situation and trying to joke off the kiss Harry had seen. He'd been worried that it might be his only opportunity to clear the air on the subject.
"I really like Harry, and I didn't want him to think I was with someone else." Draco concluded.
Severus pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I see." Severus drawled.
"I think, he thought Blaise made me do something…or I don't know." Draco added.
There was a moment of silence.
"Did he?" Severus asked neutrally.
Draco was shaking his head before Severus had even finished.
"Blaise was just being Blaise. We laughed it off as a lack of communication. It really wasn't a big deal. It was a nice kiss…if not a little surprising. I told him I wasn't interested in getting back together and we moved on." Draco said.
Severus studied him critically for a moment before nodding.
"I think I hurt Harry. I don't know what happened. I was standing in front of him when I saw his eyes glow…but when I felt like I was back to normal I… I was on top of him…I had my wand in his face." Draco said shakily.
They were both quiet for a while. Draco wondered if Harry had been upset when he'd returned to Severus' rooms.
"He has a bruise, but I think he was more concerned about you then anything else." Severus finally said.
Draco's stomach twisted. He didn't want to hurt Harry.
Draco sighed deeply.
"We both need to head to dinner. I'm sure Harry will forgive you Draco. Give yourself a little grace. You had a difficult summer and It's okay if it takes you a while to work through that. I'm always here if you need to talk about it. Lupin is also available." Severus said.
Draco nodded numbly. He really hoped he hadn't ruined things with Harry.
Severus watched Harry fidget on the couch. They'd returned from dinner and now were meant to start occlumency. Tris had mentioned at dinner that Harry had asked some concerning warding questions but hadn't specified. Severus was tempted to dig into what he was up to.
"So…" Harry said awkwardly, clasping his hands in his lap.
Severus sighed. He knew Harry was feeling uncomfortable.
"I'd like to reassure you that these lesson's will not be like the ones we had before. If you recall what we did last week when we worked in your mind, this will be like that." Severus said calmly.
Harry sighed deeply before nodding and looking up to meet Severus eye.
"Don't attempt to block me. It won't hurt. Once I'm in your mind we will sort out the remaining memories that were hidden from you, as well as the last few days. You should be able to get a feel for how to categorize your memories and store them properly. Following that I can show you ways to manage your emotions that isn't just raising your outer defenses." Severus explained.
Harry's shoulders tensed a little as they talked, but Severus hoped he would relax as they went.
"We'll talk after, and then I'll go on patrol." Severus concluded. He thought this was for the best. Harry seemed to be somewhat more stable, and he did not worry about leaving him on his own. He thought after going over these last memories and talking, Harry would want some space. It was best to allow it. Severus did not want Harry to get overwhelmed and run away. Nothing good ever came from it.
Harry raised his hand and rubbed at his forehead before brushing his hair out of his face. Even in his boy-who-lived form it was starting to get long.
"Yeah, all right. Um…" Harry started before shaking his head.
"What is it?" Severus pushed. If Harry had concerns, Severus would rather address them now.
"I just… Can I get a headache cure and a stomach soother when we're done? I um…I was really sick when we did these lessons last year and I've got things I need to work on tonight, plus another class." Harry all but whispered.
Severus jaw clenched. He could feel the anger at himself welling up.
Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself. The fact that Harry had returned over and over for lessons last year should have been a sign of his dedication. If he had been that sick from the lessons, no one truly could have faulted him for not returning.
"Harry, look at me please." Severus called.
Harry shoulders tensed before he looked up. His lips were pinched tight, resignation and trepidation swimming in his eyes.
Severus sat his wand across his lap before resting his hands on the arms of the chair.
"I will not attack you." Severus started.
Harry's eyes darted to the wand before they came back to meet Severus' eyes.
"I'm sorry for assaulting you last year. It never should have happened. There isn't an excuse for my behavior. I promise this will not be like that. I am not going to hurt you. If you feel unwell after our lesson, I promise I will get you anything that you require. I know it's hard, but can you trust me?" Severus asked.
Harry watched him for a long time before nodding. Severus nodded back but did not reach for his wand just yet.
"Are you ready?" Severus asked.
Harry rolled his neck before nodding.
"Yeah, let's get it done." Harry said flatly.
Severus picked up his wand once again and with Harry giving one last nod, Severus cast.
Severus found himself in the now familiar forest clearing in Harry's mind. Looking around, Severus was pleased to see that things still seemed calm.
Harry stood next to him and Severus took in his appearance as well. His mental representation was no longer that of a child, nor was he wearing the baggy, stained clothing that Severus had seen before.
Harry now looked more himself. He was in base form and wore casual but well fit clothing. This was a good sign that Harry was actually healing. He no longer saw himself as the abused and neglected boy that had fled his relative's house.
"Where do we start?" Harry asked.
Severus nodded before he described the process of collecting the memory and then storing it appropriately in his mind. Apparently, Harry had done some of that before but had become reliant on the void in his mind as a place to shove all of his unpleasant memories.
Harry collected the first memory, and Severus was relieved to see that it was something unimportant. A day of classes in his primary school. Severus recommended that memories such as these could be stored farther into the mind. Day-to-day events normally sorted themselves deeper into the mind, unless there was something of importance that needed to be readily available.
Harry took Severus' advice, and they continued.
Severus was proud of Harry for facing even the difficult memories with composure. There were a few of Fletcher, and several of his relatives. None of them were pleasant but Harry was doing well. When they got to the memories of the last few days Harry picked up the pace and Severus had difficulty tracking what Harry was actually doing.
Severus suspected that Harry was trying to maintain a little of his privacy. After everything that Severus had seen in Harry's head, Severus understood.
Severus could see flickers of himself, Sirius, Remus, and Harry's friends. The feeling was warm and caring, with an edge of concern. It was a comforting feeling.
Suddenly the feeling around him intensified. An overwhelming love and self-loathing. Severus felt like it was crushing around him. Flickers of Harry and Draco this afternoon taking a walk. Harry watching Draco look out at the lake. The feeling was whisked away and abruptly Severus felt himself pushed from Harry's mind.
Severus sat back in his chair and gasped for breath at the whirlwind he had just experienced. Harry had bent himself in half over his lap with his face in his hands.
Severus just stared at him. He realized in that moment that Harry did in fact like Draco. He was afraid to like him though. That's what he'd been feeling. Intense affection and desperately trying to crush it away.
Harry sat up and looked at him with red-rimmed eyes.
"Please don't tell anyone." Harry begged.
Severus could feel the shame rolling off of Harry. Severus didn't know if it was coming from the abuse he'd suffered under Fletcher, or perhaps it was liking another boy. Severus knew Harry had grown up in an environment that wouldn't have been accepting.
"I won't." Severus said numbly, still trying to wrap his mind around this revelation.
Harry was just as much in love with Draco as Draco was with him. Not that Severus planned to get in the middle of a school romance.
Harry stood from the couch and began pacing. Severus could hear him muttering to himself but just let him be. Clearly, he needed a few minutes to collect himself. Severus was less concerned about Harry's feelings for Draco then he was Harry's feelings for himself.
They'd all been concerned when the Prophet had run the article claiming the boy was gay and suggesting that Harry and Draco were involved. The matter had mostly been dropped in the wake of Harry's attack. Perhaps it should be addressed now though. Severus knew that Remus had voiced concerns about Harry getting involved with anyone because of his experiences.
Severus was starting to have additional concerns in that same vein. He'd heard of children in the muggle world killing themselves over lack of acceptance or support. He did not want Harry to hate himself for this. On the other hand, he didn't want Harry to get involved with Draco and hurt him, emotionally or physically.
Taking a deep breath, Severus pulled a vial of Harry's calming draught from his pocket and set it on the table. He would give Harry the option if he needed it.
In a teenage fashion Harry flopped back on the couch and groaned. It was so unlike Harry that Severus nearly laughed. Harry almost never acted like a normal teenager, and it was almost comical.
"What am I supposed to do?" Harry whined.
Severus did laugh this time. He couldn't hold it anymore.
Harry's cheeks flushed darkly, and his arms wrapped around his middle defensively.
Clearing his throat and taking this more seriously, Severus thought about what to say to Harry.
"What do you want to do?" Severus asked. He couldn't possibly help Harry if he didn't know what Harry wanted.
"I don't want to feel this way." Harry said, nearly in tears, laying his hand over his chest.
Severus took a deep breath and then another hoping Harry would copy him. Severus had expected to talk about the last memories that Fletcher had hid, or how Harry was adjusting to being back at school, or how this last week had affected him.
He had not expected to be thrown into a relationship drama. Though he'd sorted out plenty over the years. He had broken up toxic couples, given stern warnings to couples he'd caught sneaking around, even given a few confidence boosts when they were worrying about plucking up the nerve to ask someone to Hogsmeade.
"You don't want to have feelings for another boy? Or you don't want to have feelings for Draco? Or you don't want to feel bad for having feelings for Draco?" Severus asked. He wanted to clarify with Harry before he assumed.
Harry shrugged.
"I don't know. All of it. It's wrong. I shouldn't like him. Or anyone. I'm broken and disgusting. Draco knows how messed-up I am. He'll never like me back and I…I don't even know if I want him too. I…I can't be with anyone. I won't." Harry rambled.
Severus brought his hand to his face. He wouldn't betray Draco's confidence and just tell Harry that Draco did like him, loved him even. Nor would he betray Harry's confidence and tell Draco. Though he foresaw this as being a long school year if neither was willing to admit their feelings and just continue to pine after the other.
He needed to address Harry's other statements though.
"First of all, it is not wrong for a wizard to have affectionate feelings for another wizard. How you can maintain that assertion with your parents, being who they are, is beyond me. Not only are those two sickeningly in love and have been for as long as I've known them, but they are also by far the least judgmental adults I'm sure you've been around." Severus began.
Harry blushed and nodded.
"I know. I…I tried to explain it to George once. I… don't feel like normal rules apply to me." Harry whispered out.
Severus snorted and Harry glared hotly.
"Not that the rules don't apply to me. That's not what I meant!" Harry growled.
Severus pulled on a neutral mask and tried to be impartial. He'd accused Harry for years of acting like the rules didn't apply to him. So, to hear Harry say it just made him laugh. Though given the distressed look on Harry's face that clearly wasn't the appropriate response.
"I've had rules my whole life that didn't apply to anyone else around me. Not being allowed on the furniture. Not being allowed to eat with the family. Not being allowed to speak to guests in the house. Not being allowed out of the cupboard. No food until all of the cleaning is done. No doing better than Dudley at school. Dudley always wins. Dudley is always right. Everything you say is a lie. Do not touch anything. Do not touch us. Your freakishness will get on everything. Don't pet the neighbor's dog. Don't talk to anyone! No letters to your friends! Don't be seen! Don't be heard! Don't do anything Freaky! Don't talk back! Don't raise your voice! No Crying! No Screaming! No bleeding! No nightmares! When asked why I did something the answer is always; Because I'm a freak! We won't have any of that in our house. No fags! No Magic!" Harry finished in a scream.
Severus could feel Harry's magic pulsing around him.
"Are those normal rules? They are for me!" Harry spat.
Severus took a deep breath. This was about the Dursley's. Severus had seen enough of Harry's memories this week to know the kind of mental and emotional damage that they had done.
Harry took a deep breath and shook his head.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I don't know what's wrong with me. I yelled at Remus the other day too." Harry said, guilt swimming in his eyes. His shoulder slumping in defeat.
Severus nodded. He knew that Harry's emotions were a little all over the place right now and that was to be expected.
"You are not a freak, Harry. The rules that they had for you were controlling, manipulative, and abusive. What they did to you was nothing short of torture. You did not deserve their treatment. I promise you Harry no one outside of that house would ever expect you to follow those rules." Severus said firmly.
Harry shrugged.
"I know that it's hard to put what you've known your whole life aside. No one expects you to forget, or to just move on. I think perhaps we should break down those rules and see if we can't talk through them a little." Severus suggested.
Harry sighed and rubbed his face before nodding.
"Let's start with the ones that pertain to you 'being a freak'. You know that what your relatives called ' Freakishness' was just magic, right?" Severus began.
Harry sighed and nodded.
"Do you think magic is Freakish?" Severus asked neutrally. He was genuinely curious and a little concerned about this matter. While Harry was certainly adept at magic, if he still saw it as a bad thing, he may not be using his magic to his full ability. Which honestly was a slightly frightening thought.
"No, but…I don't know maybe a little. If the muggle world is normal, then wouldn't that make the magical world unnatural?" Harry muttered.
Severus jaw clenched.
"No, it wouldn't. Two things can be true at the same time actually. Magic has been used since the beginning of time. We are naturally born with the ability and things all around us in nature also contain magic. Look at the classes you take. Herbology, Care of Magical creatures, Potions. Those classes wouldn't exist if magic didn't exist in nature." Severus said calmly as he could. Though he could feel his blood pressure rising. Hatred of magic from his father and Petunia was exactly what had pushed his anger in his adolescence. It's what led to his servitude under the Dark Lord.
Harry got a concentrated look on his face before he nodded.
"So, more like genetic variants or evolution. Our worlds diverged at some point and what we call magic is really just a mutation somewhere in the line of evolution?" Harry asked, looking over at Severus.
Severus raised an eyebrow at the evaluation.
"It's unknown. There are Wixen scholars that believe that at one point everything was magical. What we call muggles today were actually just squibs at one point. Generations of war, witch hunts, and other atrocities have left us with two separate inhabitants of the same planet. At one time there were many scientists in the muggle world that studied magic and Wixen to learn more. Unfortunately, there were those who took it too far, and there are now laws against such things. Though occasionally things happen." Severus said, thinking of young Ms. Quinn.
Harry stared at the low fire in the fireplace for a long time before nodding.
"I will work on reframing magic in my mind." Harry whispered out.
Severus nodded. He knew no one could change their long-held beliefs in a single conversation, but he did hope that Harry would take what he said to heart. If he could accept that the magical world was just as natural as the muggle one, perhaps he could slowly stop seeing himself in such a poor way.
"The rules about your presence in the Dursley's house are all about control." Severus said calmly.
Harry nodded.
"Children are naturally loud and rambunctious. Making rules to keep them quiet isn't uncommon. We have rules here at school, such as quiet hours and not talking while a professor is giving instructions. However, it is unreasonable that a child would never cry or scream or be heard." Severus said, thinking about his own attempts as a child to remain as unnoticed as possible when his father was drunk.
Harry bit his lip and nodded.
"We've talked before about them locking you in the cupboard or withholding food. It's wrong Harry. No one that loves you would ever do that." Severus said gently.
Harry's arms came up and wrapped around his stomach. Severus knew Harry was upset but this was important. As long as the Dursley's rules still plagued the back of Harry's mind, he would struggle. Severus knew that like magic a single conversation wasn't going to change things. However, he would repeat these things as often as needed to make sure Harry eventually believed them.
"I know." Harry whispered softly.
"You told me that your relatives poisoned your primary school against you. Did they do that with other people as well? Your neighbors?" Severus asked.
Harry nodded and sniffled a little.
"They um…They always talked poorly of me. Like I was violent and a troublemaker." Harry said biting his lip and staring into the fire. Severus could see Harry getting lost in some memory.
"When I came to Hogwarts, they told everyone that they'd sent me to St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurable Criminal Boys." Harry whispered.
"I had to keep up the lie." Harry said clearing his throat and looking up at Severus.
Severus sighed. Harry should not have had to go through any of that.
"When Muggleborns come to Hogwarts their family is given paperwork that says they attend Hogwarts Academy of Excellence. The paperwork looks official and speaks to a child being enrolled in a gifted program in Scotland on a scholarship. I know that would not have placated your relatives, but it is another way I believe that you were failed. They should have been provided this paperwork to explain your absence." Severus said quietly.
Harry snorted before muttering 'gifted' under his breath.
"Vernon would still have created a fictional institute that would beat me for my insanity and keep me locked up for the safety of those around me. He certainly never would have called me gifted, I'm not." Harry said bitterly.
Severus leaned back in his chair and fiddled with his wand for a moment before swishing it so that a long chain of symbols and numbers hung in the air.
"Do you know what that is?" Severus asked.
Harry took a deep breath and studied the glowing symbols.
"It's the arithmancy equation for the wards on Spinner's End." Harry said before turning and looking at Severus.
Severus raised an eyebrow and nodded.
"And you don't see that as a sign that you are gifted?" Severus asked.
Harry blushed a little and shrugged.
"I am taking a warding class." Harry said defensively.
Severus snorted.
"You are in a beginner's warding class. Are you telling me that you are working on long chain warding equations and identifying runes to assess what is being warded?" Severus asked smugly.
Harry blushed darker and shook his head.
"I didn't think so. Tris says you could walk into Gringotts tomorrow and become a full Curse Breaker if you wanted, no apprenticing necessary." Severus said.
Harry looked at him in surprise. Was it possible the boy didn't know how intelligent he was.
"Who's Tris?" Harry asked.
"Professor Comiso." Severus answered.
Harry raised an eyebrow and smirked slightly at him. Severus scowled, he did not like the look on the boy's face.
"Your work this year has been impressive Harry. Especially in Potions and warding. Though I've heard from nearly all of your teachers that you have a bright future in anything that you want to do." Severus said.
Harry blushed again. Severus saw a small crease form around the boy's mouth like he was attempting not to frown.
"Tris also told me you were asking some rather intense questions earlier. What are you attempting to hide?" Severus asked, hoping to catch the boy off guard.
Tris had said Harry was attempting to attach concealment charms into wards. Not an impossible task, but Harry had hidden things from them before and it had ultimately led to his near death at his own hands.
Harry shook his head.
"Just looking into something." Harry mumbled.
Severus could tell the boy was lying. He wondered if he should go through his trunk and bag again. He didn't want to invade his space, but he did not want to miss something again.
"You can always talk to me Harry. If you are struggling, I'll be here to help. You're not alone." Severus said in a soft genuine smile.
Harry fidgeted a little and twisted his hands before nodding.
"Thanks'." Harry muttered.
After a long pause, Severus tried to bring up the topic that had gotten them to this place originally, Draco.
"Can you tell me how you feel about Draco?" Severus asked calmly.
Harry's shoulder's tensed and his face flushed again.
"I…Er…I don't know." Harry said dismissively looking anywhere but back at Severus.
Severus sighed. He really wasn't interested in getting involved. However, it was obviously causing Harry distress.
He thought back to that horrid book they'd found in Harry's trunk after his suicide attempt. He didn't want to leave Harry distressed over something like this. Like magic it wasn't something that he needed to fear others judging him for.
Harry was twisting his hands now and Severus considered dropping the conversation and giving Harry more time when he suddenly spoke.
"I…I think I love him." Harry whispered so quietly, Severus almost missed it.
Keeping his face blank, Severus nodded. He thought 'love' was a little dramatic for both of the boys to be using. They hadn't even tolerated one another a few months ago. He believed that they liked each other, even had crushes on each other. That much was becoming obvious. He also knew that teen emotions ran high, but they hadn't even admitted as much to one another.
"I know it doesn't make any sense. I just feel…" Harry waved at his chest as if that explained anything.
Severus raised an eyebrow, hoping Harry would explain further.
Harry sighed deeply before dropping his head into his hands.
"I can't explain it. I've never felt like this. Like I'm always to warm and my heart doesn't know if it wants to race or stop. I always want to spend time with him, yet at the same time I never want to see him again. I don't want to feel this way, but I can't seem to help it, every time were together." Harry grumbled, before looking up at Severus.
With the use of all of his occlumency shields, Severus kept himself from laughing at Harry. Watching an awkward teen in the initial stages of their first crush was hilarious. Keeping his face neutral and thoughtful Severus nodded.
"But…I don't know…. He just feels comforting and calm to me." Harry sighed.
"Not words I would have ever used to describe Malfoy. Aggravating, frustrating, infuriating, but not calm, not comforting. He just lets me exist in a way that I don't find with anyone else. My friends expect me to lead, expect me to be brave, strong, and unshakable. I'm not though. I'm terrified of this war, of what's coming. I don't have the answers. Draco doesn't expect me to. He knows what's happening and we don't have to talk about it. I've come to trust him the way I do my closest friends. I don't know what to call how I feel." Harry said with a long sigh before collapsing back against the couch and staring into the fire.
Severus nodded again. It was amazing what had formed between Harry and Draco. Though he supposed that war created bonds that would not normally form. Had this current war not been happening, little of the events these past few months would have occurred.
Draco would have spent the summer being spoiled and come back for his sixth year as pompous as ever.
Harry likely would have suffered another summer with his relatives if the events at the ministry had not happened. He would have returned for another year of school and put in minimal effort, afraid that he would be punished for doing well. War changed things and it changed people.
"Have you told him any of this?" Severus asked. He felt like he was turning into a matchmaker, and it wasn't really a job he had any interest in picking up.
Harry gave him a scandalized look before shaking his head frantically.
"You could." Severus suggested.
Harry shook his head again, but in a more defeated way this time before looking down at his hands.
"He saw my scars. He knows what I did this summer. No one would ever like someone like that. And I…. I don't think I can…I don't want…" Harry shook his head and sighed.
Severus suspected what he was trying to get at was his aversion to touch, built from years of physical and sexual abuse.
"On the first account, I do not think, as vain as Draco can be, that scars will be a deterrent if he reciprocates your affections." Severus said. He knew that Draco was like a lovesick puppy right now. He certainly returned Harry's feelings.
"I don't mean to circle everything back to your parents. However, Remus is heavily scarred and Sirius cares about him regardless." Severus pointed out.
Harry huffed and shook his head.
"It's not the same. Remus has a condition. It's not his fault." Harry said.
And there it was again.
"Harry, your abuse was not your fault." Severus said kindly, but firmly.
Harry shrugged and sighed. Severus could see the clouding in his eyes. He was still struggling greatly to accept that what had been done to him wasn't his fault somehow.
"Not to make assumptions, but if what you were trying to say earlier was that you don't think you can be involved with Draco because of how you might react, or what might be expected in a relationship, I would simply say you may surprise yourself." Severus said. He'd seen the boys together a few times around the school and at the end of summer, sitting shoulder to shoulder. Harry already seemed more comfortable with Draco then other people.
"First, nothing needs to happen, and you certainly are not expected to do anything. Having clear boundaries is important in any relationship, romantic or otherwise." Severus explained.
"Secondly, you may find that engaging in simple things like hugs or holding hands will help you break some of your hesitance." Severus said.
Harry's face was tomato red at this point and Severus knew that it was time to drop the conversation. He wasn't trying to push anything certainly. However, he didn't want Harry to miss out on a normal part of being a teenager out of fear.
"Is there anything else you wish to discuss?" Severus asked.
Harry shook his head and bit his lip.
"Very well, I need to head out to patrol. I expect you to make it to your Astronomy class and then straight back after." Severus said, standing from his chair.
Harry nodded again and Severus headed for the door.
"Was Draco alright?" Harry murmured, looking over his shoulder to were Severus stood by the door.
Severus gave him a sad smile.
"I think he will be." Severus said. He believed it. Draco was strong, though he hadn't fully realized his strength. He was still coming to terms with his whole world turning upside down and trying to find where he belonged in it.
"You'll be okay too." Severus said before heading out of his rooms to meet with Minerva.
Draco took deep breaths as he looked through his telescope at the stars. The storm from earlier had passed but the wind had not settled. The wind felt like it was cutting through him. While he enjoyed the astronomy tower when he was alone, being up here with a whole class and teacher was arguably less enjoyable.
"I found it." Hermione said somewhere behind him.
Draco fought not to look over his shoulder. He knew Harry was standing next to Hermione. Harry had nearly been late to class, so Draco had not had a chance to check in with him. He'd been at dinner and seemed all right. Draco knew that Harry hid a lot though.
Sighing he focused on the night sky, writing down his observations.
"Are you coming back down with us?" Teddy asked him sometime later.
Draco looked up and realized that everyone was packing up. Draco shook his head. He hadn't realized how much time had passed.
"Er…do we have homework?" Draco asked, stowing away his supplies.
Teddy raised an eyebrow before nodding.
"Two feet on our favorite celestial body, due next week." Teddy said.
"Oh, okay." Draco nodded, swinging his bag over his shoulder.
"So, are you walking down with us?" Teddy asked, glancing over at the Gryffindors and then back to Draco.
Draco glanced over and caught Harry's eyes.
Teddy snorted.
"Just don't get caught. Snapes on patrol tonight. Even with a Quidditch win this weekend, you might not get enough points to recoup, what he'll take for catching you snogging the boy-who-lived." Teddy joked quietly.
Draco flushed and shook his head.
Teddy just gave him a knowing look before walking off to join their friends.
Draco could feel his palms sweating as he tried to find the right words to approach Harry. He wanted to apologize for earlier and check in and make sure he was okay. Severus had said something about a bruise.
Draco turned his back to the Gryffindors and looked back out at the night sky. He wanted to give Harry the option of staying or not. Harry may prefer to leave with his friends.
The area began to quiet, and Draco could hear Sinistra talking to one of the Hufflepuffs. He supposed it was too much to ask that he could just stay here and talk to Harry. Sinistra would definitely send them all back to their dorms. It was the middle of the night after all.
Sighing, Draco turned to head out only to nearly run into Harry. He'd obviously walked over to talk to him.
"Er…hi." Draco mumbled, shrugging his bag up on his shoulder.
Harry gave him a half-smile and Draco a warmth grow in his chest. Perhaps Harry wasn't upset with him.
"Do you want to walk down together?" Harry asked.
Draco nodded and they started their long trek down the tower. There were several students walking in front of them and behind them. Draco had thought they'd been the last ones out of the class, but a group of Hufflepuffs were following them. Glancing over his shoulder, Draco realized it was Harry's friends. The ones who they had gone to the night Harry had the vision.
Draco felt himself shake a little. That night was so stressful. Draco took several deep breaths. He did not want to have another panic attack or flashback or whatever it was that had happened earlier.
"Night Harry." One of the Hufflepuffs said as they headed in a different direction.
Harry nodded to them, and they continued to walk. Draco wished they could just go back to the top of the tower and listen to Harry's music. He wanted to sit with his head on Harry's shoulder.
Shaking his head he tried to come up with the words to apologize for earlier.
"I'm sorry." Draco mumbled.
Harry looked over at him and gave him a tight smile. There was understanding in his eyes.
"Are you doing better?" Harry asked softly as they turned into another corridor.
Draco sighed before nodding. He'd felt a little off all evening, but he was certainly feeling better than he had been.
"Sev said you had a bruise." Draco said trying to turn the conversation away from his messed-up mind.
"I've had worse. No worries." Harry said casually with a slight shrug.
Draco frowned. He was sure Harry had been hurt worse. He'd seen the scars. He didn't want to be someone else who had hurt him though.
"Did Sev get you some bruise balm?" Draco asked.
Harry's face flushed a little and he shook his head.
"I think he forgot. It'll heal on its own." Harry said, trying to dismiss Draco's concern.
Draco stopped walking and Harry slowed before turning to him. Harry gave him an expectant look.
"What's going on?" Harry asked, taking a step closer.
"Show me." Draco whispered.
Harry looked at him in confusion.
"Show you what?" Harry asked, taking a half step back.
"The bruise." Draco said numbly. He needed to see. Needed to know what he'd done.
Harry sighed but popped the top button on his shirt.
Draco winced at the nearly black skin along Harry's collar bone.
"I'm so sorry." Draco said, stepping forward and raising his hand.
He wanted to protect Harry. From the war, from his friends, from himself. He was sickened that he'd hurt Harry.
Harry pulled his shirt back in place and gave him a soft smile.
"You didn't mean to hurt me Draco. I'll be fine. Okay?" Harry said, stepping closer.
Harry was so close to him now that Draco could smell the soft scent of soap, and the smell of mint tea on his breath. He was so close, and Draco longed to lean forward and kiss him. Kiss his lips and trail kisses over the bruised flesh. Tell him how much he liked him.
A light blush covered Harry's cheeks and Draco was struck again by the thought that perhaps Harry liked him back.
"We should go." Harry breathed out before stepping back.
Draco felt warm from his toes to the roots of his hair. He hoped the walk the rest of the way to the dungeons was quick. He needed a cold shower.
Nodding, Draco walked shoulder to shoulder with Harry. He briefly allowed his hand to graze across the back of Harry's. He'd done this a few times while they'd been walking in Cokeworth and Harry had always stepped further away.
He'd tried it once since they'd been back to school, and Harry hadn't seemed to notice at all. This time to his surprise he felt Harry's hand brush his back.
Draco felt like giggling or jumping for joy but kept himself contained. Perhaps it had been an accident. This part of the corridor was rather narrow.
The second time he felt Harry's hand against his they were in the silence of the dungeons. Draco glanced down at their hands and then up to Harry's face. Harry didn't turn at all. His eyes were glued straight ahead.
Taking a deep breath Draco decided he had to know if Harry was doing this on purpose or not. As Harry's hand grazed his again, Draco turned his arm slightly, slipping his hand around Harry's and lacing their fingers. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a small smile on Harry's lips.
Silently they walked through the dungeons hand in hand and Draco thought he'd never been happier.
When they reached Severus office, they both stopped. Harry gave Draco's hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it. Draco felt like he should say something. Ask what this meant. Ask if they could do this again. Invite him to Hogsmeade this weekend. All of the words felt stuck in his throat as Harry stepped away.
Harry didn't look at him. Actually, Harry was staring at the floor and had a rather adorable blush across his cheeks.
"Er…I'll see you tomorrow." Harry mumbled out as he turned to enter the office.
Draco's tongue finally caught up with his brain, but it seemed like Harry was maybe overwhelmed so Draco chose not to address the hand holding.
"Make sure you get something on that bruise." Draco said instead.
He wanted Harry to be okay. He wanted to take care of him.
Harry nodded and disappeared behind the door.
Draco stood in the empty hall for a long moment before a slight squeal left his lips and he nearly skipped back to the common room.
Harry closed the door leading into Severus' quarters and closed his eyes. He leaned back against the cool door and took slow deep breaths.
Draco held his hand.
Draco held his hand.
Draco held his hand.
Harry could still feel the smooth warm fingers laced between his.
He'd been thinking about what George and Snape had both said. He still wasn't sure what he wanted but he knew it was cowardly to continue doing nothing. He could do this. Whatever this was. He didn't even know. It felt nice though.
Draco's hand had brushed against his and he'd wanted to hold it. Draco had had a difficult day. He'd been wishing he could just hold Draco. Especially after the heartbreaking look on his face at the sight of the bruise.
It was a rather intense one, but it would heal.
When his hand had accidentally brushed Draco's in the narrow corridor, he wished he'd been brave enough to just take Draco's hand. Willing himself to just brush Draco's hand again, he'd moved slightly closer. Then to his surprise Draco had taken it.
The warm Jello feeling in his stomach felt like it was flooding through his whole body.
Suddenly the door jolted forward, and Harry heard soft cursing from the other side.
Harry blushed darkly and moved away from the door.
Snape walked in a moment later, with a slightly frustrated look on his face. Harry's hands automatically clasped in front of him, and he looked at the floor. He hadn't meant to block the door. He wasn't even sure when Snape would be back from patrol.
"Harry?" Severus called.
Harry glanced through his hair but kept his head down.
"Sorry." Harry mumbled.
There was a strained silence that followed.
"I came back to make sure you had returned from your class and get you some bruise balm. I'd recommend applying it after a shower." Snape said.
Harry nodded while still studying the shine on Snape's shoes.
"Are you alright?" Snape asked, taking a step closer.
Harry flinched slightly and felt like cursing for doing so. Snape wasn't going to hurt him, and he didn't know about Draco holding his hand. He'd said that sort of thing didn't matter, but Harry didn't want Snape to know. Draco was Snape's godson and surely, he wanted better for him. Harry wanted better for him.
"I'm fine, Sir." Harry whispered softly.
Harry looked up and found Snape still scrutinizing him.
Harry swallowed thickly.
"Very well, I need to return to patrol." Snape said, before holding out the pot of bruise balm.
Harry reached forward and collected the container before turning and nearly fleeing Snape.
Severus watched Harry disappear down the hall. He was jumpy and Severus wasn't sure why. Perhaps the incident with Draco earlier had upset him more than he'd let on. Harry did not handle physical altercations well. His thoughts drifted back to the many occasions since this summer the boy had been hurt. He'd keep an eye on him. He did not want Harry to try and bury his feelings again.
Turning he made his way back into the silent halls of Hogwarts.
Tonight, had been busier than usual. He had the purging potion for Lupin brewing and had returned several times to the class lab to check on it. It would need to sit for the night but hopefully, tomorrow Lupin would be able to take it. With any luck it would work, and they would have more to offer the wolves next week.
Severus was not looking forward to the weekend. A Hogsmeade trip on Saturday and the first quidditch match of the season on Sunday. It would be busy and loud and while he secretly enjoyed seeing the students get to enjoy normal student life again, his nerves could only tolerate so much.
He was curious to see how a quidditch match would go with the school being more united. Normally the Gryffindor Slytherin match was the most aggressive game of the year. Now with so many of them in Harry's training group and seemingly getting along much better, he hoped the match would not end with injury.
Turning out the large front doors of the castle, Severus walked into the night. The wind whipped wildly, and Severus cast warming charms over his robes.
He wondered what was happening with the Death Eaters. They had been uncomfortably quiet. He did not miss his role as a double agent, but being uninformed was uncomfortable. Severus thought about the students that Harry had befriended in Slytherin and wondered if that could be used to get more information.
Shaking his head, he wandered closer to Hagrid's hut. It wouldn't be worth the risk to the students.
Suddenly a sharp pain sliced through his arm, nearly as painful as the Dark Mark flaring back to life. His wand dropped into his hand, and he spun around looking for movement.
"Show yourself." Severus commanded.
Rustling near the forest drew his attention.
His eyes squinted as he looked for anything. The wind shook the trees and low bushes making it hard to distinguish one shape from another.
"Crucio." A voice called and Severus side-stepped, hoping to dodge the curse.
Aiming his wand in the direction of the voice, Severus cast a silent incarcerous. A heavy thud and a muttered 'oof', told him he'd hit his mark. Checking over his shoulder for additional assailants, Severus approached.
Laying on the ground half hidden by a tree, Severus could see Slytherin robes. He growled internally. He'd tried to argue that the marked students should be removed.
"Good evening Mr. Bechtel." Severus sneered down at the whining mass on the ground.
Severus flicked his wand and cast. A moment later the bound student was being levitated back to the castle.
Severus sneered down at the blood dripping on to the matching red carpet of Albus office. Jack Bechtel still floating at his side.
"You can't do this! Let me down!" Bechtel screamed.
Severus ignored him.
"Cowardice trader!" Bechtel spat.
Severus watched Albus knelt form in front of the fire. He was calling for Aurors. He had been surprised by Severus' appearance in his office. When Severus had explained what had happened, Albus had attempted to talk to the boy. Get him to see the error of his ways. He even tried to bribe him with safety for turning his back on the Death Eaters.
The boy had just twisted and grunted in an attempt to escape the binds. When that proved to be fruitless, he'd spat in Albus' face and screamed that Albus would be dead soon.
Albus had hardly blinked. Simply wiped his face and sadly shook his head.
Severus knew that Albus wanted to save the students who had been pulled into the war. He knew that for many it wouldn't be an option. They should be thankful for the win they had received with the Sixth years. He mourned for his older students, but you could not save those who did not want to be saved.
"The Minister will be through momentarily." Albus said wearily, standing and walking behind his desk.
Severus stood still in the middle of the room. He knew there wasn't another option. Bechtel couldn't stay in the school, and If turned out, he would likely be just another enemy to fight in a later battle. Still, it hurt to know this young life would soon be locked away in Azkaban. He didn't think the boy's actions would get him the dementors kiss, but he did not know. There had been whispers of imprisoning criminals not related to the war, and sentencing Death Eaters to the kiss.
A shiver ran up Severus spine.
Albus waved his wand over the hovering boy. A silencing spell fell over him before Albus turned to look at Severus.
"I'll be calling the Order after the Auror's have collected him. Do you wish to address your wounds?" Albus asked, staring pointedly at Severus' arm.
Severus felt himself pale slightly. He knew he was bleeding but looking at the amount of blood coating his hand was alarming. He swallowed thickly before raising his hand.
The cuff of his white shirt was so drenched in blood it was nearly black. The rivulets of blood on his hand were stark against his pale skin.
With a sharp nod, Severus turned and marched from the office. He was feeling a bit lightheaded and would not suffer the indignity of fainting in Albus' office. Shaking black spots from his vision, he made his way to the hospital wing.
He patted his pocket and grumbled when he realized he'd not restocked his supply of blood replenisher. It was careless.
Pushing the door to the infirmary open he hoped Poppy could patch him up quickly. He did not want to miss the meeting, lest Albus exaggerate the incident or his injuries.