Yuga let out a massive sigh of relief as he closed the door to his room, leaning back against the door.
A part of the massive weight on his chest being temporarily lifted.
Alone once again after the tense dinner downstairs he could almost breathe now, though guilt and fear still had him choked most of the time.
Yuga's eyes opened to his room and he almost winced as he looked at how painfully bright it all was.
Yuga opened the drawer of his dresser and pulled out the master remote and clicked off all of the extra lights he set up.
His flamboyant and almost eye searing amount of lights was definitely playing much too hard into French stereotypes, but would help him play the role of a ditsy-blonde.
Even looking around there wasn't much he truly had a choice in picking for it, making it feel more like a stage prep room and less like a bedroom.
The little cover for the top of the dresser, earring stand, and his sheets had been his to pick out, and even then, it had only been because Shigaraki had done most of the shopping for him on All For One's behalf.
Passing one of the many mirrors in the room, Yuga's body stopped almost against his will right in front of it.
His eyes traitorously traveling up and down his own body, before stopping at his… belt.
The weight of it digging into his skin and resting heavy on his hips, the constant burning, sparking energy under his skin suffocating him for a moment.
All of it a reminder of what had happened to him.
Of the pain from the man's hand that made him feel like he was being torn apart from the inside out, his crying and pleading for the man to stop ringing in his own ears-
Shaking his head Yuga went over to the mirror and swiftly turned it around, taking a few deep breaths to keep the bile from creeping up his throat.
He didn't want to think about that day.
He would not stop crying if he did.
Yuga had to take a few more deep and calming breaths to stop his body from trembling, the phantom pains making his skin feel like it was on fire.
Once he calmed himself, Yuga walked over to the other mirrors in his room and quickly turned them all around without any second thought.
He'd turned them back around later, he wouldn't have any guests in his room to see them turned around like this.
Perhaps he'd get used to seeing his reflection one day but it was still too fresh for him right now.
He looked too much like his mother and he didn't want to think about her right now.
Especially about what she been willing to do to make him… normal.
The buzzing of a specific ringtone made Yuga's heart jump.
Yuga pulled up the cover and opened the top drawer and got out the burner phone he'd been given.
Yuga flipped open the burner phone and quickly opened the newest message.
[Cousins~ ]
[Stardust~: Hey how's the move going punk?]
Yuga's lips fell into a soft smile upon seeing the message and he sat down on his bed before he texted back.
[Cousin~ ]
[Pixiedust : The move is going well, thanks for asking!]
[Pixiedust : Just had dinner over here and will be getting ready for bed soon, do you know if Maman will call soon?]
[Stardust~: Nope]
[Stardust~: Convinced the worry-wart to hold off until tomorrow to give you more to settle in]
Yuga felt even more relieved hearing that and quickly texted back a 'thank you and goodnight' to Shigaraki.
Once again feeling so grateful to have someone else he could rely on.
After everything he'd heard from the others around him, he had expected for Shigaraki to be cruel like All For One.
Knew of the bodies Shigaraki left in his wake, cleaned up a few of them even.
But Shigaraki was… different.
And Yuga couldn't be happier he was.
Shigaraki asked him questions about himself and his parents, had even wanted to help him and his family get free of All For One's clutches even.
And it wasn't all just empty promises either.
At times when Yuga would sneak past Shigaraki's room, he'd hear him trying to quietly get information from others in All For One's network about possible places his parents could be stashed away.
There… hadn't been much progress unfortunately.
Shigaraki had warned him as much, that if he wasn't careful in his digging All For One would notice and that would cause their ruse to be exposed.
And if it was…
Tears built up in his eyes and he placed aside his phone, grabbing for his pillow instead and curled up with his face buried into his pillow.
Yuga would be very lucky if he was simply killed outright, maybe it would even be a quick death if he was very, very lucky.
And his parents? They wouldn't have the same use as they were both quirked but could also simply be given over to less savory criminals that could do much worse than killing them.
Worth some money maybe so they have some use after all.
He could only hope that they wouldn't be discovered, and that Shigaraki would be able to help them all get free.
Calmer now, Yuga put his pillow back and moved to kneel on the floor.
Reaching under his bed and pulled out the hidden briefcase underneath, and once he unlocked it, he stared sadly at the contents inside it.
A familiar old blanket took up most of the space inside, a few old toys were also in there and little picture book as well, one pair of simple pearl earrings and the newest thing inside of it was a little music box.
Yuga took the blanket and wrapped it around his shoulders.
The material still as soft and silky as when it was first given to him years and years ago by his Grand-mère.
Pulling out the music box next Yuga wound it up then placed it on the ground next to him.
A soft tune gently played and if he closed his eyes Yuga could almost make himself believe he was back home in France, and that his Grand-mère was the one humming the tune to him as she did one of the many chores around the house.
He wasn't though.
He was in a foreign country almost completely alone and stuck in a school studying for something he never would have under ordinary circumstances.
Yet here he was, taking a spot from someone that probably deserved a chance more than he did.
Yuga's head lulled back and hit his mattress.
His Grand-mère would scold him for thinking something like that.
But it was true.
Even if he was to disregard the glaring fact he was a traitor here only to tell All For One about the defenses of the campus from the inside, which was a pretty good reason he shouldn't be in a hero course.
There was the fact Yuga was very much a coward, and that had the bare minimum training with the quirk given to him, much less knew how to throw a punch.
He shouldn't be here, he didn't want to be here.
Yuga wanted to go back home to France, to the family farm where it was so much easier to pretend he wasn't at a living monster's beck and call in the many acres of farmland.
He wanted to help his Grand-mère with the cows, or pluck grapes from the family's vines.
Hell Yuga would take mucking out the stables or mashing the grapes over being here.
Standing up, Yuga plucked the music box and walked over to his balcony doors and went outside.
The sun had long since fallen and the stars were glowing dimmer then he was used too in the sky overhead.
There was more light here than back home at the farm.
The star's themselves were also different from the ones he was used to seeing, but he probably should have expected that much, being in an entirely different hemisphere would mean a different night sky to look at.
Still being out here was better than sitting inside.
Yuga allowed himself to settle on the floor of the balcony, just listening on to the music box.
Despite how much he didn't want to think about it, his mind wandered back to earlier in the basement, and how Deku-Sensei stated he'd expel two people if anyone else had been in fortieth-place.
A place he had almost been in.
Yuga dreaded the thought of how close he came to being expelled, especially since the number for his 'Maman' was actually to his direct report, a French woman that would relay everything to All For One.
Which meant that unless he pleaded with Deku-Sensei or came clean to him about why he was there, they'd immediately tell All For One that he failed before school even started.
All For One would be very cross if he heard that.
Though maybe he could convince Deku-Sensei around if he explained who he was.
Shigaraki had quietly told him that if his cover was blown that he needed to talk with Deku-Sensei, cause Deku-Sensei would probably be the person most likely to help him.
Shigaraki even promised to back him up and to tell him that Shigaraki sent him.
Yuga doubted that though.
He knew that a lot of people spoke about how protective Deku-Sensei was over his students, and Yuga doubted that he would take very kindly to him putting those very same students in danger.
Sure, he was technically one of Deku-Sensei's students, but he didn't think that would protect him from Deku-Sensei's wrath, despite how firm Shigaraki had been he would count regardless of the reason he became a student.
Shigaraki was incredibly certain that if Yuga confessed everything to Deku-Sensei that Deku-Sensei wouldn't hold his actions against him, would deeply understand his plight and help them both get his parents free.
Yuga would not put his trust in that yet.
He had not made it this far in life by easily trusting people around him.
Shigaraki not included since he proved he could be trusted.
Shigaraki talked with him, even if he didn't understand all of the words Shigaraki used or that he himself wasn't the best at games, Shigaraki still made time to speak with him about things.
Even asked him about his life with Grand-mère on the times he was allowed to go back to the family farm.
Shigaraki went as far as to buy him cheese and sneak him a glass of wine once.
So, he wanted to have more faith in Shigaraki's belief of Deku-Sensei character, he just couldn't bring himself to though.
It made him feel guilty about his mistrust.
Not enough to push past it but he'd try even harder to do the other thing that Shigaraki asked of him.
To befriend one of his classmates since apparently Shigaraki knew one of them.
Well Ojiro didn't know Shigaraki was a criminal, the two were just gaming buddies that met in real life, with Shigaraki lying about himself being a 'civilian' named Chase.
Yuga could understand why Shigaraki liked the boy, he'd been rather nice and even helped Yuga carry up some of his boxes to his room.
The two of them speaking about small things and Ojiro being very excited about maybe trading Pokémon some time so Ojiro could have a better time to fill out his dex.
Most of his classmates were incredibly nice actually.
It made his betrayal choke him all the harder.
And he was scared, because they would probably have to go through with the attack that All For One wanted them to do.
Shigaraki told him there wouldn't be any way to get his parents out before the… attack deadline that All For One gave them, so they would have no other choice.
Still the thought of hurting anyone made his chest feel so unbearably tight.
Especially all of the nice people in his class that were so willing to offer him a hand or help him with anything.
But what else could he do? Other than Shigaraki, he had no one he could turn to.
Yuga let his head rest on his knees and hid his crying face from the rest of the world, letting the tears fall as he listened to the soft twinkling of the music box.
Confession time, I haven't seen the last season of the anime yet, but I plan too soon.
However I have heard that Aoyama chooses to leave after being outed as the traitor and that there are some people upset about this.
And while I can understand them to a point, I do think that Aoyama's choice to leave is one that makes sense for his character.
Unlike many of the students of U,A, Aoyama might not have this big sense of duty and perhaps never wanted to be a hero after he grew older.
Even if he did, after everything that happened to him because of AFO alone would be more than enough reason to chose to step away from it all if he could.
He is a 15-17 year boy, who spent a large amount of his life under AFO's thumb, and considering that psychopath's normal methods, I 100% agree with Aoyama's choice to leave it all behind and maybe live a normal life with the people I never thought I'd see again.
Does it hurt knowing he'll leave? Yes, even if he's not a character that I was that attached to before I started writing this fic.
But his mental health is more important, and I look forward to writing a one shot one day where Izuku travels to France where he visits Aoyama and see the life that Aoyama has built for himself now that he was free of AFO.