Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Scarlett was beginning to feel better and better. She was even comfortable walking by herself for longer and longer times. Rhett would allow her to walk all over either floor, but he would not allow her to walk up and down the stairs by herself. Someone had to be with her any time she wanted to ascend or descend the stairs. Preferably him but he had said that if he was out of the house either Wade or Mammy could help Scarlett.

Rhett wasn't really comfortable with Wade helping Scarlett, but it was plain to see that the responsibility made the boy so immensely proud. Rhett was pleased that Scarlett was comfortable with Wade helping her. Her trust in the boy had gone a long way to help improve their relationship.

Rhett knew that Scarlett would never be a good mother, but he guessed in her way she loved her children. She would never be the mother Miss Melly was, but if he was honest most proper ladies weren't. His mother certainly hadn't been involved with him and his siblings. He admitted to himself that most proper ladies turned their children over to the nursemaid to raise with occasional visits to the nursery. He had only persisted in calling her a bad mother to hurt her.

That night at supper Rhett explained to the children what Dr. Harrison had said about Scarlett's bruises. After he was finished talking, Ella turned to her mother and said, "Soon you will be as pretty as ever."

Scarlett looked into her eldest daughter's face. She saw the awe and worship on the child's face. It stirred something deep inside Scarlett. She thought, 'She loves me so much. It isn't her fault that she is ugly and stupid. It is Frank Kennedy's fault. I must be a good mother to her. I am all she has.'

After supper Rhett helped settle the children in the nursery. After checking on Scarlett, he left the house to drink and play cards. He had some deals brewing and he could always make money off of stupid poker players, but the main reason he was going, was to do damage control for Scarlett's reputation.

As soon as Scarlett heard Rhett leave the house, she got her diary out and recorded her thoughts.

July 21

Dr. Harrison came to examine me today. He says I should make a full recovery. I don't know. I hope so. Every day I hurt less and less. I hope soon I don't hurt at all. It will be so great to feel normal again. I nearly burst out laughing today when Dr. Harrison told me to record the moments I know I have forgotten something in a diary. I thought sure while I am recording everything else. It hasn't happened very often yet, but sometimes people, not just Rhett, will be talking to me and I know they think I should know what they are talking about, but I don't. I told Dr. Harrison and Rhett that I would suddenly remember what they were talking about, but that isn't true. I never remember what the person is talking about.

I am surprised that Rhett has taken control of my health. He has made it clear that he has the final say on everything. I know he will grow tired of it all soon and leave me alone. Then again, I am carrying his baby so he might be with me until this baby is out of me. I do wonder if it is the baby or me, he is so concerned about. No, I know he is concerned about the baby, but is he concerned at all about my health? I will think about that later.

I wonder if anyone besides Melly will visit me. Probably not. I wish I could not be the most hated woman in Atlanta but what is done is done. Most of their hatred is because they have always hated me. Some is because of my actions. There is nothing I can do to redeem my reputation. Although, I don't approve of Rhett's actions, he was smart to use me to get received again. As I said they will never receive me.

What is up with Rhett? He is being too nice. It is almost like he cares for me, but I know that can't be true. As I thought before, I am sure everything he is doing to help me get well is for the sake of the baby. I hope Rhett lets me use the gas. If he could feel the pain of labor, he would say yes in a second.

I don't want to be well enough to leave the house anytime soon. If I am Melly will make me start calling on people again. The only pleasure I get from all that is making the matrons welcome me. I don't even know why I am working so hard to repair my reputation. I don't want to be received anyway.

Here Scarlett paused for a long time and really thought about why she was working so hard to be received again. She finally decided it was for Ashley's sake, but she really didn't believe that. She was still pondering it when she decided she was finished writing in her journal for the night. She would compose her letter to her aunts instead. Now was the perfect time. Rhett would not be home for hours.

Dear Aunt Pauline,

I was so excited to receive your letter. Thank you for all the kind words you have written about Bonnie. I too think she is quite the little beauty. I too think that when she grows up, she will be quite the belle.

You cannot imagine my surprise when Rhett turned out to be such a devoted husband and father. After all, with his reputation being a family man was the last thing anyone would have expected. I dread the day when Bonnie loves someone more than Rhett. It will just kill him.

Speaking of children, I am once again with child. Rhett is so excited.

I can't thank you enough for lowering your standards and receiving my husband into your home. He really is such a good man no matter what people have said about him. Of course, if he hadn't been so handsome and charming I probably would not have given him the time of day because of his reputation. I certainly am glad I did.

After reading your letter and you commanding me to stop being in trade, I will just have to sell my businesses. Rhett simply doesn't have the time to manage them. The only reason I own them at all was to support my family in the tough times right after the war, but you are right. The times are no longer hard, and I must return to the proper way of doing things. Just to let you know I don't think it would be right for me to expect Rhett to shoulder the responsibility of financially supporting my poor relatives. Therefore, I will not ask him to do so.

I have worried about who would support you if I don't, but you must have a plan because you are ordering me to sell my businesses and to stop behaving like a man.

(That last line had been hard for Scarlett to write, but she did. She went on.)

You are so right. I must start behaving properly for my husband and children's sake.

I also must thank you for your letter for up until that point I had no idea that Rhett didn't want me to work. He spoils me so badly and never tells me no even when it is for my own good. Just like with Bonnie. The man never tells her no either.

Enough about all that. Let me update you on my life.

Scarlett had written another page about what was going on in her life. She did not say anything about the scandal going on in Atlanta or her fall down the stairs. At the end she had signed it:

Sincerely yours,
Scarlett.

Scarlett addressed the envelope and wrote Pauline's address on the front. She sealed the envelope, put a stamp on it, and left the room. She found Mammy in the nursery. While handing the letter to Mammy, Scarlett said, "Will you give this to Pork and ask him to mail it tonight."

"Yes, Child."

Mammy looked at the envelope. Scarlett knew she wanted to know all about it. She also knew that Mammy didn't think very highly of her Miss Ellen's sisters. Scarlett so wanted to know why, but she also knew that Mammy would never tell her. Instead, she said to the nursemaid with a mean smile, "It is a letter to my aunt Pauline."

Mammy smiled meanly back at Scarlett and said, "I will take it to the post office myself."

"No, give it to Pork. It is not safe for you out there. It is barely safe for Pork. Besides you he is the only person I can trust."

"Yes, Child. Indeed."

Mammy left the room. Scarlett turned to leave the room, and she heard a boy's voice quietly say, "Mama."

Scarlett walked over and started to yell at Wade for still being awake. Instead, she thought, 'What would Melly do?' She knew what Melly would do.

Scarlett sat on Wade's bed and whispered, 'What are you doing still awake?"

"I don't know I just can't go to sleep."

Scarlett had an idea. She brushed back his hair and started softly singing a lullaby. She only knew one, but she just kept on singing it over and over again. When Mammy got back, Scarlett could see that Wade was asleep. She stood up and left the room without saying a word. Maybe being a good mother wasn't as hard as she thought it was. She just had to want to be a good mother and be willing to devote the time.

When Scarlett was back in her room, she called for Prissy to help her get undressed. After Scarlett had her nightgown on, she asked Prissy to bring her iced tea.

Prissy said, "I don't know if we have any ice, Ma'am."

"If we don't send one of the footmen out to get some. I want iced tea."

Prissy smiled a forced smile and said, "Yes, ma'am."

"And a glass of brandy."

"Yes, Miss Scarlett."

"And some cookies."

After Prissy left, Scarlett thought, 'There is no need to hide that I drink, Rhett knows I drink and how much I drink.'

Prissy was soon back with Scarlett's iced tea, her brandy, and a piece of cake. When Scarlett looked at the cake questioningly, Prissy said, "We didn't have any cookies. If you don't want the cake, I can take it back to the kitchen."

"No, go ahead and leave it. I guess we had ice in the house."

"Yes, ma'am."

Prissy left the room and Scarlett got a book out from under Rhett's side of the bed. She had gotten so bored with her life these last months that she had done something she never thought she would do. She bought a book. It was one that the store had for sale, but nonetheless she had bought a book. The first book she had gotten was on the history of Atlanta. She had borrowed a book from Melly. Pride and Prejudice she thought. She didn't like it. She was constantly throwing the book across the room because the protagonist was stupid. She had found that she liked to read biographies and the history of places. Her current book was a biography on Abraham Lincoln. Even if she had imagined she would do all the rest, buying a book about Mr. Lincoln was something she would have bet her life she wouldn't have done. Yet, when she had read the synopsis of his life, she was extremely interested.

Scarlett settled into the bed. She drank her brandy then her iced tea while reading her book. When she began to get sleepy, she put the book under her side of the bed. Rhett couldn't find that either. He would tease her to no end if he found out she was reading anything. In fact, she was surprised he hadn't teased her about wanting him to read the newspaper to her.

As Scarlett snuggled down into the bed. She thought about her day. She thought about Ashley, but quickly instead started thinking about Rhett. She could faintly smell his scent, and it was comforting. She went to sleep while she was thinking about her husband. She certainly did enjoy sleeping with him. He kept all those bad dreams away. As he said there was no reason for them to have separate bedrooms if she was already with child. He had said he knew of a way to prevent her from getting with child. That made her happy. She certainly wanted to have fun again. She just didn't want to have any more children. A thought passed through her head about their night together, but she let it go. She had already pondered that night far too often. She let herself fall into slumber.