Welcome back everyone. This chapter took some time and will likely be controversial to some but trust the process please. I've had to revise the plan as new information and idea came to mind so this is going to give me time to course correct a little so it's going to feel a tad different but hopefully not in a bad way. We'll see but this is Chapter 15! Hope you all enjoy it and once more a shoutout to all those of you who comment/review because it really helps give me motivation to continue and work so hard to give you the best story I can.
Without further adieu I present Chapter 15: Phoenix Dawn!
Date: 8980 BCE
Failure.
It was a simple concept. One I was intimately familiar with by now.
I could name many points of failure that led up to this moment.
Letting the words of Queens—so high they couldn't see the clouds beneath them—affect me.
Letting arrogance blind me as I walked into Marduk's trap.
Dismissing the faith of Sarpanitum—my one true supporter—as a farce.
Ignoring the council of Abdul when I had the opportunity.
Killing Hamza—for caring for my people—and destroying what faith they may have gained from him.
Charging into battle over Busiris with a half-dead fleet.
Any one of them could have been a turning point—if I'd made the right call.
My body twisted in the darkness. The sensory-depriving space drained all sense of time, warping my spatial awareness in ways even Morrigan likely hadn't considered.
It felt like pins and needles were igniting every nerve from tip to tail.
I missed having arms.
A stray thought.
It was a personal failure. The question became: why? Why allow it to happen? I was Goa'uld. Hate, scorn, resentment, envy—these were the emotions we took pride in. So why did it hurt so much? To let them down—my people.
Flicking my head in the freezing water was the closest I could come to shaking it.
What could I have done better? Between the genetic memory and my own tactical mind, it seemed my only failure was losing. But I knew it ran deeper than that.
Perhaps it was a part of Abdul. Something of the host remained.
Something human.
It had to be. A human emotion—indescribable, unfathomable. Preposterous to the Goa'uld in me… yet undeniable.
It made sense. Abdul was a large part of how I got where I was. Not the vat, rusted and probably thrown in some vault by now, no. He was the key to everything I had built—because he taught me what thousands of years of genetic memory never could.
How to trust.
Perhaps not in the way humans used it, but Abdul had shown me the power of trust. If someone believed in you enough, they would move mountains. When the people you cared for trusted you, it became the ultimate tool.
If I could convince them to trust me—truly trust me—fear would no longer be necessary. They would follow because they believed in my judgment—even unto death. Every slave who died in my name would be reborn as a martyr—only stoking the flames of devotion in those who remained.
The ultimate tool.
A tool I had wasted.
I had to shift my focus. My thoughts, clouded though they were, needed honing. I needed to escape. To return to my people. To rebuild—if there was anything left to rebuild.
But distractions were so easy to follow in the deafening silence.
What had become of my people? Had Min taken my mantle? Had Marduk reclaimed the worlds I had conquered? Was there even a world to return to?
These questions circled me in the dark. My thoughts howled like a foghorn inside my skull.
I couldn't dwell on maybes. I forced my mind back toward something productive. Schematics. Designs. Simulated warzones drawn from genetic memory—testing ships, weapons, and vengeance.
I was so deep in thought I nearly missed the subtle shift. My prison had moved—with intention.
I was being moved. Disturbed.
Had they come to finish me? I did not know. But I would fight—with whatever strength I had left.
They chose to disturb my peace. That deserved pain.
Light broke through the vat, refracted and bent by the water. A blurred figure appeared—a woman, perhaps only entering her second decade. Sharp features. Refined. Not a slave. A priestess.
Unaware of the danger, she reached into my prison. I reacted. I launched from the water, and before she could scream, I was already inside—piercing the soft flesh at the back of her throat, forcing the blend faster than ever before.
She fell. We blacked out.
I awoke first, my mind reeling at the physical sensation of controlling a host again. As I reconnected with muscle and bone, I noticed more than stiffness—there was pain, old and deep. Scars. Welts. Faint burns across her back and shoulders. Whoever she was, she had endured far more than most. Our lungs burned—and before any thought could reach our now-shared mind, I heaved the contents of our stomach onto the frigid stone floor.
My, our, eyes took in every cracked slab and shattered vase around us as the dying light of the braziers cast flickering shadows across the chamber's walls.
'Abdul!' It was instinct, a grab at the air. Then I remembered.
This was not Abdul. I was reminded—vivid memories of Morrigan surfaced unbidden. The pain. The emptiness. I gripped them—and my head—and shoved it all down.
I was free. There would be time to honor Abdul later. For now, I had to escape this waking nightmare.
Taking in my surroundings, I saw we were in a vault—a stash of gold and relics Morrigan had likely deemed beneath her notice.
So that's what I had become. Some discarded treasure no longer worth her time? I would one day make her regret that assessment.
I rose and shuffled toward the door. Where Abdul's footsteps had once been heavy, mine were now silent. It was a vastly different experience. This body was more refined—slender, faster, lighter than Abdul's strength had ever allowed.
It wouldn't stand against heavy fire—not without armor. But with the natural enhancements I provided, she might evade what Abdul could not. Perhaps it was time to adapt. New host, new tactics.
She still slept. I would let her dream—until I was safe. Only then would I explain her new position. Resistance would only slow me down.
I stretched my new limbs. Pain bloomed from poorly healed wounds—whip scars, perhaps. Electroshock. Morrigan's plaything. How had she kept moving with this much pain tucked beneath her skin?
The stretches performed were traditional exercises of the people of Avaris and Tau'ri that they used to ensure proper muscle mobility and recovery. My whole body was stiff. If I was to survive escape from the heart of enemy territory, mobility was paramount.
'You will be kind, won't you?' I froze. Hearing Abdul's voice wasn't uncommon in the vat. He was not there—I knew that—but fragments of him remained. Memory. Thought-patterns. Echoes.
'You know I cannot promise that.' My stomach twisted, and my heart sank.
'You may never admit it, but you always did your best.' I needed to think.
I pushed the thoughts aside, finished stretching, and moved forward. The architecture mirrored that of my ships. We were planetside—likely a grounded Ha'tak.
That made sense. Some gods would land their ships and treat them like a temple and a throne of power over a world. The ship dwarfed anything the slaves could construct. It served as both shelter and symbol—an effective tool of fear.
As I moved through the halls, I began sifting through the priestess's memories.
She was a child, playing in a field of snow during the first weeks of winter.
Placing a flower in her mother's hair.
Delighted by a patch of moss in the forest.
Being taken from her home. Ripped from the arms of her crying mother. Her own cries for help that fell on the deaf ears of the Jaffa who dragged her towards the Chappa'ai.
I felt a twinge of something—unfamiliar. Not guilt. Perhaps… compassion?
I looked deeper into her mind.
Her time at the temple of Morrigan.
The various faces her God took over the years.
The tending of the temple and various rituals she had to complete.
A sister. Younger. Also at the temple. Here.
Her name…
"Taliah!" I was so lost in her memories I hardly saw where I was going. I collided with another slave wandering the halls, and froze. A flash of memory. The girl I'd just knocked over. I blinked, the memory overlapping the moment—the same blonde hair, the same smile. Alina.
Before I could register what was happening, my body moved on instinct, catching her in my arms. She giggled while my mind raced to understand what I'd just done.
It took a moment, but I helped her stand—brushed her off, checked for injury. Pure instinct.
She giggled again. "Why are you always in the clouds?! It's so unfair, I wish I could remember what you do!"
The younger girl pouted while I took in her appearance. Blonde hair, green eyes, a slender, if underfed appearance. To have such joy as a slave was a rare occurrence.
A flash of Minura and her bright smile filled my mind and I couldn't help but consider kidnapping the poor girl.
"I wish I could show you. Gleanavar is beautiful." I let the memories return—stolen or not, they had meant something to my ho-, Taliah. I would cherish them too.
It didn't take me long to find the sister's name.
"What were you doing in the vault Liah? Searching for more shiny things? I know there's lots, too many to take home but I loooove looking at them. Sometimes there's one where I can see my reflection." She made each syllable of "reflection" pop, emphasizing every note with disjointed care.
I allowed a small chuckle as I ruffled her hair as she smiled brightly back up at me. Each moment was wasted time… and yet, each one made me want to stay. Perhaps it was the host, some residue of the blend, but I was clearly being affected. I wasn't sure I cared.
"Want me to show you something cool I found?" I led her on with a smile.
She giggled loudly. "Sure! Lead the way!"
I continued toward the hangar, unsure why I brought her with me. Some impulse—Taliah's, perhaps—insisted that saving this girl would mean everything to her. And under the circumstances, it didn't seem like such a bad idea. Leverage, after all.
As we made our way through the halls, Alina followed behind. Skipping and humming a familiar tune that brought forth more memories.
I stood at the edge of a cliff, the wind blowing through my—her—hair. The view of the ocean, beautiful beyond anything I had ever witnessed. The sunlight glittered like flecks of gold as it set along the horizon. A flute played the tune in the distance—a lullaby about living fully, leaving no regrets.
We made our way to our destination. From my memories, Taliah held great sway in terms of the local population. As head priestess, she had earned respect by tending to the needs of the other slaves, ensuring they were cared for. It would weaken their forces with her absence and that was the edge I needed to get back at Morrigan for making a fool out of me.
"Liah, why is your face all scrunched up like that?" I turned to look down at Alina and schooled my features. Her curious face was trying her best to imitate my expression but only succeeded in stirring that feeling in my core once more.
"I was just in thought. Our Goddess had given me a mission to retrieve more supplies. That's where we're going." The words tasted bitter, like blood. I didn't know if it was calling Morrigan a Goddess, or the lie itself, but something about it turned my stomach.
Her eyes brightened at the idea of tagging along though as she practically started to bounce on her heels. Her hands held against her chest.
"You really mean it!?" The smile came before I could stop it.
"Of course, come on now, we have to hurry." The tone of my voice made it sound like we were going on an adventure. A memory surfaced again.
Alina had once pleaded with me—Taliah—to let her come. Morrigan had summoned me personally. I couldn't bring her. I wouldn't let her see the horrors at the heart of Morrigan's empire. She had wanted to protect Alina. She loved her sister too much.
The bay bustled with Jaffa and slaves. In the center stood the Tel'tak I was aiming for. Approaching the guard I waved away his raised hand.
"We require this vessel to procure supplies in the name of Lady Morrigan. I have been assigned personally." The Jaffa nodded, allowing Alina and me to board. He and two slaves followed.
I didn't recall the slaves or Jaffa from the memories of Taliah but that was hardly an issue. It would only make them easier to kill once we had left the atmosphere. Why they hardly questioned our destination was beyond a concern at the moment as I focused on strapping Alina into a seat that had been situated into the rear storage compartment.
"Stay in here and stay strapped in alright? It's going to be a long and bumpy trip, okay?" My eyes sought hers as I held her gaze for a moment and the Tel'tak hummed to life. Her emerald eyes reflected my own discomfort but for very different reasons.
"This seat's uncomfortable, Liah!" she whined, squirming. I patted her leg in a gesture meant to comfort.
"I know, but it'll keep you safe, you did want to come along didn't you?"
"Mhm!" she nodded, vigorous and bright. I couldn't help the smile creeping onto my face as I leaned in.
"Tell you what, you wait for us to get to space and I'll show you the front okay?"
"Really!"
"Yeah, but you can't tell anyone, alright?" She nodded and mimed, zipping her mouth shut.
"Good girl. Now I have to move to the front, alright?"
I stepped away, the lullaby humming softly from behind me. I almost caught myself humming along.
I entered the cockpit, positioning myself near the rear. I kept my eyes on the three passengers as we lifted off—rising from the Ha'tak into the air above the temples.
It was a beautiful sight, if fleeting.
'Something is wrong.' Abdul's voice once more echoed through my mind. With it, a memory.
I was aboard the bridge of my flagship just exiting hyperspace near Busiris. It didn't feel right.
Taliah woke up one morning. Where once the birds sang elegant turns, now only silence remained. The wind rustled the trees in unusual patterns and a deep sense of unease settled in her stomach.
That same unease now settled in our stomach as we breached the atmosphere, the stars emerging beyond. It was time.
The Jaffa and the slave exchanged a glance. I moved.
I struck first—my elbow cracked into the slave's skull as the Jaffa turned, hands off the controls as the ship slowed. The Jaffa rose as I rushed him, his body lean and sturdy. Even as I slammed into his chest, he stood tall, his arm reeled back for a hook.
I jumped back, out of striking distance. The Jaffa advanced, deliberate, eyes locked on mine.
I ducked under his strike, grabbing his arm and twisting—fingers searching for pressure points. Minura had taught me that, after training with Anwar.
I could force the body to move, but it felt awkward. Disjointed. Sloppy, yet serviceable. I would need extensive training to adapt—but right now, it was costing me.
The Jaffa cried out as I pinched a nerve. The door slid open—and there stood Alina, a Zat'nik'tel pressed to her temple.
Fuck. I drove the nerve harder, locking eyes with the captor. A stalemate—each of us holding leverage.
"Priestess, how did you know about the subterfuge?"
A strange question. The Jaffa squirmed—I twisted his arm harder.
My brow rose as I didn't know how to answer.
"Answer now or I will kill your sister!" The slave thrust the Zat'nik'tel harder against Alina's head as the girl cried out in pain.
"Liah! I don't understand..." Her eyes darted around the room, searching for answers no one could give.
Then she saw the unconscious slave—and froze. "Did you do that?"
The betrayal in her eyes told me everything that was running through her mind. I had seen those eyes before. In the mirror.
"I don't know what you're talking about. What subterfuge?"
I needed answers. My gaze swept the room.
Why? Why did I care?!
I should have killed them both and been done with it. So why did I care? Why did her life—this girl's life—pull at me so deeply? So then why do I care? She's being used as leverage against me and I shouldn't care but I do! Why does she matter?!
I was kneeling in front of Alina, her eyes wide with fear. I was telling her it would be alright.
Ma'tok blasts echoed in my head. The scent of burning flesh. A memory—an attack.
She needed protection. We needed to protect her.
Then and now—I had to protect Alina.
What was one tense moment anyway? What would it cost me? Almost nothing.
At that moment I made up my mind.
Then the field returned—Alina crouched in front of me, wearing a devilish grin.
'Thordast.' A whisper on the wind.
I turned—Taliah stood nearby, smiling with nostalgia. She didn't look at me, but I knew she sensed me.
'It's a game we used to play,' her voice echoed. 'The goal is to dodge whatever is thrown at you.'
I locked eyes with Alina with a gentle smile I don't remember allowing onto my face.
"Ali, thordast." Her eyes lit up and practically began to sparkle as she giggled happily.
She nodded, a reflection of the devilish grin from the memory.
I snapped the Jaffa's arm and hurled him into the slave.
Alina ducked, narrowly evading the strike. The Zat'nik'tel clattered to the floor.
I dove, grabbed the weapon as Alina rushed into my arms.
I held her close, shielding her, and leveled the Zat at the two fallen servants.
I felt the pain in my gums from how tight my jaw was clenched. A part of me remembered this feeling—relished it.
The power.
"Now tell me. What. Subterfuge." It wasn't a question.
Alina trembled in my arms, my body, the only safe place left to her.
We hovered above the planet. A world away from our problems. A world closer to the real danger.
The silence between us thickened. I could feel her heartbeat pounding against mine.
I watched as they checked on their fallen companion, then turned back to me.
A twitch. A shift.
They were scared. Scared of me.
My ego—beaten, broken, shattered.
But this moment—this—their fear fed its renewal.
Fueled my arrogance.
A sensation I had nearly forgotten.
A flash:
I stood above all others.
They didn't follow me because I ruled them.
They followed because I cared for them.
The people of Ulster—valued by Morrigan—loved Taliah.
Because she cared.
I cared.
"We had no intention of harming either one of you." I quirked an eyebrow at the slave.
"Then what would you do with us?" Something didn't add up.
If not to kill Morrigan's favored priestess—why were they here?
One of many, perhaps—but still a cornerstone of control.
Why would a Jaffa defect for that?
Maybe to interrogate?
"We were told to bring you to our Lord's domain—to offer sanctuary."
Not convincing. Not enough.
"You think we would believe such a barely concealed lie?" The slave's eye twitched.
"Look." His hands up in a placating manner as a heavy sigh escaped his lungs. "We were told to bring you with us. Unharmed if possible but to account for your…defensive nature if necessary. We never intended for this to happen."
Our eyes locked—his jaded copper against my emerald. He was telling the truth.
I didn't lower the Zat.
"We don't need saving or sanctuary."
"Be that as it may but we would rather not watch you burn under her care." My eyes drifted to the others. The Jaffa bearing Morrigan's sigil. "Morrigan cares little for her followers."
"You speak as if you know her well." The slave nodded.
"I know where those marks came from." He tilted his head. I had to concede the point.
"We know enough." He went on. "Enough to know she discards her tools the moment they stop amusing her. You're far too valuable for that."
I could feel Taliah's presence stirring.
"So you would rip me from my people? Remove what little good they had in their lives?" Alina looked between us, confused and frightened.
"We'd protect what good remains. Taliah. Morrigan gave orders. She was going to summon you—and kill you. Can't you see the danger you were in? If you want to return and die, fine. But think about the good you could do…if you chose to live. My Lord could free your people."
A murmur from the Jaffa earned him a kick which caused the poor guy to curl in on himself with a groan.
Still watching the others, I looked down. Alina's head rested beneath my chin, her eyes locked with mine. Something twisted in my chest. A tightening. A need to protect her, at any cost.
Perhaps going with these people would at least lead me somewhere I could gate to-
"Avaris."
What?
My mouth went dry.
My arm dropped involuntarily.
The world spun—I caught myself on Alina.
Avaris.
I had to repeat the name to myself once more.
"What did you say?" I was barely looking at the slave.
"We are going to Avaris, the homeworld of my Lord. And your salvation."
I had to sit. The world blurred as pain bloomed behind my eyes. Memories, just out of reach, flashed in the dark.
They were going to take me home. Who even were they?
'No.'
I looked down at the girl clinging to me. Her terror told me the truth. My dilemma wasn't who they were. They served me. That was enough.
The real question was whether I was willing to extinguish the glimmer of hope in Alina's eyes.
Was I truly going to take that from her?
I had always claimed to care for my people—imperfectly, perhaps, but the sentiment had been there. Now I found myself caring for someone far outside that circle. Not for conquest. Not even for myself.
But for Taliah.
Maybe Abdul had left more of himself in me than I'd ever been willing to admit.
I turned my attention back to the Jaffa and the slave—still trying to talk me down.
Weak.
They feared me.
And that gave me an idea.
"—and safety among the people of—"
I fired.
The Jaffa's movement stopped.
The slave snapped his head toward me.
"What are you—?!"
I struck him with another cerulean beam, pulling Alina's face to my chest to shield her from the sight.
Her pulse raced—palpable against my chest.
Her breathing hitched, irregular. A stress response.
Instinct moved my hand to her hair. My fingers sifting through silky hair.
I said something. I'm still not sure what. Whispers that resembled reassurances that were less my own and more pulled from the instincts of Taliah. This wasn't her first time.
"Did you kill them?" The innocent question halted me in my tracks. As I looked down, an aged emerald met innocent jade. I shook my head gently.
"No. They're alive. For now." The look in her eyes…far too strong for someone so young.
Too innocent, too brave—but this was an uncaring universe.
And she was Morrigan's slave.
Another memory broke through my thoughts.
Morrigan on her throne—smiling.
The scent of burning leather clung to the air.
The heat, stifling.
Taliah's skin: bruised, rough, punished.
"Next I hear you speak for the people of Ulster, remember this Taliah. Your sister has many uses. Keep that in mind."
Morrigan's smile in the memory was hollow.
Still, she had a point.
Leverage was leverage.
Taliah may have mattered… but no human slave held true importance to my kind.
Returning to Alina, however, I found myself carrying the girl to the front of the Tel'tak, letting her cling to my chest as I took over the controls.
There was no need to move the bodies. They would wake soon enough. The destination remained unchanged.
We were going to Avaris.
The only question was—what would await me there?
I was eager to see if Min had seized my holdings. A likely outcome—these would-be kidnappers bore the signature of Sicari operatives.
The sound of snoring reached my ears as the hint of a smile twisted my lips. It settled on my face in an uncomfortable manner as forcing a frown would. Rigid and slightly out of place. It was awkward, but not in a bad way. Just different enough to matter.
Alina would sleep through the flight—perfect for my purposes.
After entering the destination coordinates into the console, I pulled my hands from the console.
'How long have you been awake?' I turned inward, a smirk tugging at the corners of my lips.
'Long enough to be unsure whether to slap you or thank you.' That drew a chuckle out.
'All in a day's work. Not going to scream? Ask me to leave your body?' She truly was a curious human.
'Haven't decided yet. In all honesty I'm not even sure if I'm upset with you at all.' Conflicted was not the term I would have used but it was an apt description.
'We will discuss that further with time but I will not leave your body. Know that asking is wasted effort. You are mine now and that will not change.'
'Not sure I want to fight you on that but as you said we will discuss this further. That being said, if you lay a finger on Alina with any intent to harm, I will make you want a new host.' I had to pause.
'Why would I do that?' Her turn to raise a brow.
'You're just like her and all of your species? It's kinda your thing?'
'You have much to learn about my kind. Many of us have our…eccentricities.'
'Not sure that's how I'd define genocide and slavery but you do you.'
She had quite the attitude.
'You're different from Abdul, but I can work with that. Let me show you just how different we can be.'
Her eyes widened. Her jaw slackened.
I opened myself to her—everything from the beginning.
The climb. The collapse.
Abdul.
Whether she understood or merely watched in silence, I couldn't say.
But as I sat in the Tel'tak, I knew this much:
She had seen me.
A quiet chuckle escaped me.
In the vat, I drank silence like water, never realizing what I'd lost.
Now I understood why I missed it.
I had something to miss.
For now, even as I sat in the silence of the Tel'tak, flying home through the vast emptiness of space. I was not alone. I had Taliah to speak with now, Alina to care for later, and I was going home.
I would never, could never, allow myself to make that same mistake again. I would not allow myself to take my people, past, present, or future, for granted. Ever again.
This was the beginning of a new journey.
One I may not be ready for—but would take all the same.
Alrighty then. If you enjoyed I'd love to hear your thoughts on the story. Let me know what you liked or disliked. What you hated and what you loved. I find myself checking quite often for reviews so even the mean ones light me up. Plus as someone still learning to write and put pen to paper I appreciate the constructive criticism.
Also if anyone is interested in contributing to the story I am always in need of a Beta-Reader and someone to soundboard ideas so hit me up on discord (mariposa_de_medianoche) or in PM's if you're interested.Thank you all for reading and I'll see you next time!-Ballad