"I didn't know she had invited other guilds, but that was a good idea."
"Sure it is. I think it is to consolidate bonds and create other memories than the ones connected to the war."
"Yes, I guess you are right."
"I'm happy to see you, Erza. It's been a don't see each other enough".
"Yeah, I agree. Maybe we could hang out, you, Miliana, me and Lucy."
" Sure "
Kagura smiled at her; she was about to say something else, but Ichiya approached them, and she quickly ran away muttering a vague "sorry, host duty". Erza tried to force a smile before letting her disgust show. Yes, she was theoretically the host; the whole guild was, and she regretted it now. She too would have liked to be able to slip away.
"Good evening."
"Oh, honey, this party is really a wonderful idea."
"Well then, praise Mirajane; it is her idea."
"And you are still so honest and humble, so loveable, my dear."
She felt uncomfortable and was riddled with a shiver that was far from pleasant. Ichiya always made her feel terribly uncomfortable, yet she knew that he did not represent a real threat from a purely factual point of view; she could easily get rid of him, and yet he would awaken an irrational fear. Surely because she was a woman and he was sometimes too insistent. She knew that he did not mean any harm; he simply had the gift of making the atmosphere anxiety-provoking.
Hibiki chose this moment to appear; although he no longer worked for Blue Pegasus, he came to the aid of the one who had been his spiritual master for years: habits seemed to die hard.
"Oh Titania, Master Ichiya."
"Oh, Hibiki, you are here. I mean, betrayer, you left your master".
Ichiya struggled to make the tears flow while Hibiki apologised profusely before getting everyone's attention. He was desperate for a lifeline when Erza offered him her conversation. The best way to shut Ichiya up was to ignore him.
"That is a pleasure to welcome you; how are you doing?"
"Fine, perfectly fine."
"You don't miss the sweet comforts of the mage life too much ?"
He chuckled at this. He didn't remember she was sarcastic, but maybe because they had never really been close.
"Well, not at all. I am paid much better and am my own boss; it's almost a dream life. No more wild camping or endless missions scouring the countryside for monsters." He was talking cheerfully but made a stop, looking at Ichiya and searching in the assembly for Ren and Eve. "Except for the fact that my teammates really miss me, I don't regret my choice."
It was true; he didn't regret his choice, even if guilty nostalgia sometimes came to visit him. He had hesitated for a long time before making his decision. Firstly, because he felt like he was betraying his family by leaving, leaving those who had always supported him was not easy, and secondly, for a more personal reason: since he had joined the guild, he had had trouble finding his place. On the surface he had succeeded, but the fact that his magic had no offensive quality was a burden on missions, so leaving felt like being the easy way out.
But the way he had managed to support the war effort had opened a new door to a world of possibilities. For the first time, he had seen his full potential, and he had enjoyed it. So when the time came to choose, he knew he was making the right choice. Leaving the guild and devoting himself to his magic, developing new technologies, and working closely with the government – this was what he had aspired to. He had found a purpose and built a fortune.
"I think you had made the good choice. At least it's what the sorcerer is thinking."
He snapped out of his thoughts by hearing her wondering how long he had been gone.
"Yes, well, my success seems to be a good topic for them."
"It seems they struggle to split from their star."
He smiled.
"Oh, you could easily replace me. The beautiful Titania on the cover, you would undoubtedly make their sales take off".
She snickered at the flirty tone but didn't flirt back.
"I never really liked the fame."
"What a pity for such a beauty."
"I'm not sure I share your point of view. Some people just aren't attracted to lights and glitters. I'm not interested."
" But really interesting "
He took a step forward, and she looked away, searching for an excuse to cut their conversation short. She didn't like the idea of backing down because she wasn't one to let anyone get the upper hand on her, but not moving could lead to misinterpretation.
"No doubt about it."
She almost sighed in relief when she heard the flat male voice approaching behind her; he naturally placed his hand on her lower back once he was sure she had recognised him as he stopped next to her.
She looked at him, but he was looking at Hibiki with a polite smile but a spark of contempt. He didn't like public displays of affection, unless they were chivalrous. Besides, even though his touch was firm, somewhere between possessive and protective, it wasn't inappropriate and could always be interpreted as a guiding gesture.
"Hey, Grey, long time no see."
"Yes, I guess we are occupied peoples; never mind. I hope you enjoy the party."
"Absolutely, I must say that I had the best company." He stopped to look at her; she tensed until she sensed Grey's thumb absentmindedly rub her bare skin. He hadn't removed his hand, and instead of signalling him to do so, she politely smiled back to Hibiki. She had Grey; she felt safe.
"Any evening is always more enjoyable when the host is this charming," completed Hibiki, looking lustily at Erza.
"I can only agree to this."
"Well, I think I'll join Ichiya; he slipped away a few minutes ago, and I'm afraid it is my fault. It was a pleasure catching up with both of you."
They returned the politeness, smiling and wishing a good evening as he left them. Then Grey removed his hand, and she placed it in front of him.
"I didn't think you cared about decorum or that you could be so urbane. Glad to notice I was wrong."
"I'm not the type to start a scandal even when people encroach on my territory."
She snorted. Was he serious? She was a lot of things but certainly not someone's property.
"I'm not yours or "a part of your territory, as you so elegantly said it."
"Oh, I'm not such a fool; I know you will never be, but I care about you, and I prefer to make the message clear for some people."
"So that's misogyny."
Wow. He sniggered, not used to this side of her. Not for a while. She was in a low and was obviously trying to push him away by being bitter.
"You don't spare me tonight."
"Not in the mood."
Thank you, Captain Obvious. If he was mature enough to repress his pride, it was not enough to stifle his pride. She was clearly rejecting him; good, he didn't have the intention to insist. He had wanted to help her and raised his voice.
"That's not misogyny because I know you can handle anyone without my help. Call it care, affection, maybe jealousy or even possessiveness if you need to make the situation seem worse than it is, but avoid misogyny. I can handle being a fool, not an arsehole. If I came, it's because you had said no and he didn't leave. Good evening, Er'z.
She sighed as she watched him leave, wondering why it was always so complicated between them. She knew a return to a normal friendship would be hard, but she hadn't expected it would be because of her.
Lucy was disappointed. She had been there for over an hour, and Natsu still hadn't come to talk to her. She thought they would have spent a lot of time together since he really hated these kinds of social events and she was really good at it.
Usually, she was his leading light, helping him when his lack of conversation made him nervous. Natsu was smart but not hypocritical enough to pretend to be interested in something devoid of interest for him. He didn't have Erza's prestigious vocabulary, nor Grey's self-control, and even less Lucy's natural amiability. For him these events were torture, forcing him to go backwards from his true impulsive and easygoing nature.
However, it seemed that he had managed to find in him some patience and courtesy because she saw him when she arrived and not anymore after. She sighed; that's becoming ridiculous. Her entire mood couldn't depend on someone else. Particularly if it caused her this not always so light but continued annoyance and anxiety. She was tired. It was so draining to always think for two people. She spent her time to interpret his reactions, analyse them and try to understand him. But she had her own feelings to handle too.
Sometimes she hoped things could be as easy for them as for Erza and Grey; it was obvious he had – or at least he had had – a thing for her, but he overcame it. They were gone a week altogether, and the two of them spent a lot of time together, much more than usual; they even shared a room, and yet none of them seemed slightly affected by it. They were just friends; why couldn't it be the same between her and Natsu ?
She swept the room with her gaze a last time, finding him in deep conversation with Lissana. She sighed. Of course he avoided his best friend but not her. She was tired. Tired of jealousy. Tired of all these unrequited feelings.
She knew he had to feel something for her. She had felt it many times, so why was he so distant? At first, she had really thought that he just didn't know how to interpret what he felt and that he preferred to hide it and pretend that these feelings didn't exist and ignore the signs. Or maybe that he simply wasn't aware of them and that he put it down to friendship.
At least that was what she thought before their little car ride a few days ago. Grey was rather the unpredictable type. Not because he was as impulsive as Natsu but because he never let what he was thinking show, he didn't bother to justify himself and left doubts about his motives. You had to have blind faith in him to be convinced that he was on the right side because he only very rarely clearly confirmed it. That was why he never attracted her in a romantic way : he was too dark, too secretive for her. And yet Natsu seemed perfectly able of guessing his next move just by the look he gave Erza. So he wasn't that much of a stranger to heart's affairs, and still he pretended the contrary with her.
"Lucy?"
" Humm ? "
"Hey, Lucy, are you alright?"
She finally raised her head towards the one who was talking to her.
" Loki "
"Hey princess, why are you so sad?"
"That's not very polite to point out to a girl that she seems tired."
"I said sad."
"But I'm more tired than sad."
" It's froming of me ? "
"No, you open your door with your own strength so it doesn't affect mine. I'm just overthinking. I guess I need some rest."
"You are at a party; it would be awful to leave without having danced."
She tried to smile, but it was more a rictus than a real smile. He hated seeing her like this. She seemed so depressed.
" Dance with me "
"I can't."
"Of course you can."
"I'm serious, Loky; it is really careful of you, and I appreciate the effort, sincerely. But I'm tired and not in the mood to dance."
"Perfect, since I'm the one who leads, you only have to follow me. Don't think, Lucy. Just say yes. Pleas"e
Well. Why not after all? She was suffering alone and kept to herself for more than one hour. She could at least dance.
"Then invite me, well."
"Lucy Heartfilia, shall I invite you to dance?"
"Of course."
He held out his hand to invite her properly, and she accepted graciously. They calmly approached the dance floor, or more precisely, the area in front of the stage from where Mirajane had demanded that the tables be removed and reinstalled in an arc along the walls to free up space. The candlelight and chandelier she had brought were most pleasing, creating an intriguing and appealing atmosphere.
Loki looked at Lucy. She was wearing a glittery gold top that literally made her shine. Her long blond hair was cascading around her exquisite neck, then falling on her shoulders like a shawl. The dimmed light arose her beauty, while the glitter of her top reflected the light to the extent that a rain of golden sparkle drops seemed to gravitate around her. She was breathtaking.
"Everything is fine?"
She was looking at him with perplexity, and he blamed himself for not being careful enough. He wished to be able to hide what he felt better when his heart was crying out for her so strongly.
"More than fine "
He smiled at her and made her turn so he could flee her deep brown eyes for some seconds. When she was face to face with him again, he had closed his heart's door and chased his thoughts away, as he was so used to doing.
"Lucy is really beautiful tonight."
He finally snapped out of his thoughts hearing her name. She sighed. Never mind how hard she tried; she never achieved getting his entire attention. He was here, but at the same time, he was like a ghost whose spirit was somewhere else. Yet she had to do everything well. She was wearing a pretty dress, she had curled her short hair and was even wearing cute makeup, and still it was Lucy who had eclipsed her only by wearing a nice top and a simple blue denim skirt like the ones she always wears.
She was so tired of being the other woman. It was unfair. She was his childhood friend, the first that he had loved. She should have been his teammate and his girlfriend. She hated thinking that, but sometimes she felt like Lucy had stolen her life. She lived the life she was supposed to have. She knew it was not entirely true. Lucy was her own person, and they were both really different. Even if she had stayed here and had not disappeared, nothing said that Natsu would have loved her instead of Lucy.
Nevertheless, some of her nights were absent of any sleep. She couldn't repress the what if because it was too hard, besides being hurtful to see the feelings he had had for her completely disappear while hers were intact. He was falling in love again. But she couldn't.
"You should invite her to dance."
"She is already with Loki."
It hurts. The lack of consideration was painful. He was about to rudely abandon her, and yet he was only thinking of Lucy. Being the other woman sucked.
"Anyway"
"I'm not sure that's a good idea."
" It is trust me "
And finally he left. Suddenly she was thankful to her sister; Mirajane had had a great idea with the dimmed light. Silent tears were less obvious in semi-obscurity.