Storm Part Two
"Mommy." Brianna whispered, sitting up in bed where she was in the middle of Shiv and Lyla.
"What's wrong?" Shiv opened one eye, leaning up on her elbow.
"I can't sleep." Brianna whispered.
"Ok, come cuddle me." Shiv said, lying back down and taking Brianna into her arms as the three-year-old snuggled into her, tucking her head under her mother's chin.
Lyla was fast asleep beside them, snuggling into a cushion. Shiv had only been asleep for a half hour before Brianna woke her up just now. She figured the unusual surroundings had disturbed Brianna's sleep.
"I don't like the wind." Brianna said quietly.
"Me neither." Shiv whispered back, "But we'll be ok here. The wind will be all gone by the morning."
"Why does it have to be loud?" Brianna asked.
"I don't know, baby." Shiv said truthfully, "It's just nature."
"Nature?" Brianna asked, puzzled.
"Yeah. Like we get sun and rain. Only wind can be a little more dangerous. But it won't hurt us here." Shiv assured her.
"Is daddy still here?" Brianna whispered as Shiv caressed her little head, brushing her hand down her hair.
"Yeah." Shiv whispered. For a minute she considered saying no, in fear of what Brianna was going to say next.
"Can we go see him? He might be scared." Brianna said, sitting up and out of her mother's arms.
"Daddy will be fine." Shiv assured her, "We should get some sleep."
"But I want to see him." Brianna said as Shiv looked at her, the desperation in her little face. Part of her was relieved to hear her say such things. To see how much her daughter cared about Daryl, it was everything she had ever wanted. Only, it felt a little surreal and scary sometimes.
"Ok." Shiv nodded, "Ok, we'll go see him." She said, sitting up and getting off the bed whilst Brianna slid off.
"Is Auntie Lyla still sleeping?" Brianna asked, looking over at Lyla curiously.
"Yeah, let's be quiet." Shiv said, slowly opening the bedroom door so not to disturb Lyla.
"Ok." Brianna whispered, moving on her tiptoes as Shiv smiled, "Where is daddy?"
"I think he's in this one." Shiv said, walking across the hall to the room she'd heard Daryl go in earlier.
On a completely different note, she was in awe of Becca's house. The rooms were all furnished beautifully, and there were so many of them. It was a good job they'd gotten stranded here tonight instead of her two-bed apartment.
"Will we knock?" Brianna looked up at Shiv.
"I'll knock." Shiv nodded, rattling her knuckles on the door gently, "Daryl." She said quietly, but loud enough so he could hear.
She heard movement immediately, the sound of footsteps approaching the door and eventually Daryl appearing in the doorway once he opened it.
"What's wrong?" Daryl asked, wearing only his jeans which he'd quickly shoved on.
"Brianna wanted to make you weren't afraid of the wind." Shiv explained as Brianna nodded along.
"I wanted to see you, daddy." Brianna said.
"Oh, well I'm fine." Daryl assured her, "Thanks for checking on me, though."
"I don't like the wind." Brianna told him, sneakily edging her way into the room until she was fully inside, meaning Shiv had to go into the room also, closing the door behind her so they didn't disturb the household.
"I don't really like it either, but I just think it's the world getting a little angry." Daryl shrugged, watching as Brianna ran over to the double bed and jumped onto it.
"Why is it angry?" Brianna frowned.
"I don't know. We all get angry sometimes. But then we're fine." Daryl said, "The storm will be all over in the morning." He assured her whilst Shiv stood awkwardly at the door, not knowing what to do with herself. Being in such a confined space, just the three of them, it was strange.
"So in the morning the world won't be mad with us?" Brianna asked.
"Oh, the world isn't mad with us." Daryl assured her, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed.
"But that's what you said." Brianna said.
"You did say that." Shiv inserted as Daryl turned to her.
"I just mean… it's like that film we watched the other day." Daryl said, trying to think of something quick.
"Inside out?!" Brianna exclaimed excitedly.
"Shh, baby." Shiv smiled a little, "Remember everyone is sleeping."
"Sorry." Brianna whispered, "Inside Out?" She whispered to Daryl who nodded.
"Yeah." Daryl nodded, "All the different emotions. I think the weather is like that too." He said.
"Oh." Brianna nodded, understanding a little better, "Then… sun would be joy." She nodded.
"No, I think snow would be joy." Shiv said, walking over to them, "Snow means… Christmas and hot chocolate. Building snowmen and Christmas movies with blankets." She said.
"Yeah, but sun means ice-cream and water fights. Dinner in the park and BBQ food." Daryl objected.
"Then I don't know." Brianna huffed with frustration, sinking back into the puffy pillows in the middle of the bed, "Everything should be joy." She decided as Daryl smiled, turning to Shiv who was also smiling. A smile between them both that said 'we made the cutest kid.'
"You're so right." Daryl nodded, tucking the covers up around her.
"I miss Laffy." Brianna sighed.
"Laffy will be fine, baby. He has plenty of food out and we'll see him in the morning." Shiv nodded.
"But he could be scared." Brianna said.
"Oh, he'll be fine. He's brave just like you." Daryl nodded as she smiled, her little eyes beginning to shut.
They both watched her in silence as she fell asleep in the middle of the bed which made her look tiny. They both had the same feeling in their chest. Nothing but pure love for this little person. So strong that it almost hurt.
"She insisted we check on you." Shiv finally said as Daryl turned to her.
"Or was Lyla snoring?" Daryl asked quietly as Shiv smiled a little.
"No. She wasn't, actually." Shiv said, "I think she just woke up because of the wind or… because she's not in her own bed." She said.
"Sounds pretty wild out there." Daryl said, "I've not been able to sleep."
"Scared?" She teased with a small smile, walking over to the opposite side of the room, sitting down on the floor against the wall.
"I don't get scared." Daryl teased back, "Good news about Becca, huh?"
"Yeah." Shiv nodded, "She'll be an amazing mom. She's in a good place for it. It's good timing." She said.
"It wasn't for us?" Daryl questioned as she looked over at him, hugging her knees to her chest.
"I didn't say that." Shiv said.
"You didn't have to." Daryl nodded, "But… would you change it?" He asked her, already knowing the answer.
"Never." Shiv whispered, shaking her head as she looked over at Brianna. She couldn't imagine a life without her, and she could sense Daryl was starting to feel the same.
"It's good you're not going to prison." He said as she laughed quietly.
"What a line." She nodded.
"I'm just saying… I thought they would have pressed charges." He said, walking over to her and taking a seat beside her on the floor, not too close but not too far either, both of them leaning against the wall.
"I did too." Shiv said, "But… I guess I've never understood them. Can't predict anything they'll do."
"What snapped?" He asked her.
"What do you mean?" She asked, turning her head to look at him beside her.
"You… smashed their car up, Shiv." Daryl said, "I think some people would call that breaking point." He said, "Something must have pushed you."
"Nothing pushed me." She said, thinking about it, "Well… I was just having a bad day and I guess it's like you said… breaking point." She shrugged.
"Wish I could have seen their faces." Daryl admitted.
"They stood like emotionless statues. Wasn't worth seeing." Shiv shook her head, picking at her nails to focus on something other than him, "They had your letters." She told him as he turned to look at her.
"What?" He shook his head.
"When you told me you wrote letters to me from prison, and that you sent them to my parent's house, I thought there'd maybe be a chance they kept them. Part of me figured they probably burned them or ripped them all up, but I wanted to check." She said.
"And?" He said.
"They threw out pretty much everything I owned, apart from this box I kept in my room. It had sentimental things in it. Pictures and some trophies. My acceptance letter from college. And… they had shoved my mail in there." She nodded.
"You've… you've read them?" He asked, feeling his heart rate pick up. He couldn't remember half of the things he'd said in his letters to her, he just knew he'd wrote them when he was in a very shaky, emotional time.
"Yeah." She said, swallowing the lump in her throat and turning her head to look at him, "Maybe… Maybe if I had them at the time. Before. Maybe things would have been different for us." She nodded with regret as he looked at the sadness in her eyes.
"You didn't know about them." Daryl said with a shaky voice, "That's not your fault."
"I know you suffered in there, Daryl." She said, "I could tell from the letters."
"Were they that bad?" He groaned, "I forgot what I wrote in most of them." He admitted.
"They weren't bad." She assured him, "Just… sad."
"You have no idea how much I wanted to get a reply from you." He said, "I gave up after the first year because I figured you'd moved on. It never occurred to me you never got them. I just thought you were trying to forget about me." He shrugged, "And instead you were raising our baby in the city. Completely on your own." He shook his head.
"You never thought of that scenario, huh?" She nudged him as he laughed shakily.
"No, definitely not." He said.
"Did your dad really say what you said? Just before he died?" She asked.
"What? That I should marry you?" He asked, knowing exactly what she was referring to.
"Yeah." Shiv said.
"He did." Daryl nodded, "He got pretty incoherent at the end. He could barely talk much. Getting fed through tubes and just… lying there the whole time." He shook his head, trying not to think too hard about it, "But a few days before he died, I was sitting beside him and he managed to find some sort of energy to tell me I should marry you one day." He said as Shiv looked at him, "Was the last thing he ever said to me." He nodded as Shiv swallowed the large lump in her throat.
"Daryl." She sighed, sliding her hand across and gripping his tightly.
"If he could see us now, huh?" Daryl said, feeling a tear run down his cheek, wiping it with his free hand whilst his other was gripped by hers.
"I think he'd be proud of us." Shiv nodded, "And I think he'd love her." She said, looking over at Brianna who was fast asleep.
"Yeah, he would have." Daryl smiled, looking over at Brianna too, "He really loved you. You know that, right?" He turned to Shiv.
"Yeah." She said, "Yeah, I know. Why do you think I named her Brianna?" She said as he smiled.
"Does she have a middle name?" Daryl asked, "Why have I never asked that?" He shook his head.
"She doesn't have one. Brianna was good enough." Shiv nodded.
"Do you ever look at her sometimes and feel pain?" He asked her, "Because you love her so much?" He asked as Shiv nodded.
"Yeah." She nodded, "Pretty much every time I look at her."
"It's terrifying." He said, both of them completely forgetting that their hands were still gripping onto each other. Shiv rested her head on his shoulder tiredly and spoke softly.
"Please don't push me away again." She said quietly.
"I can't talk about it." He shook his head, "You'll blame yourself. I know you will."
"I blame myself anyway." She said.
"Well you shouldn't." He said, "I don't want you to."
"Just know when you're ready to talk. I'll listen." She said, "I'll always listen."
"I know." He nodded, leaning his head against hers.
"Glasses. Where are the glasses?" Lyla mumbled, opening up different cupboards in the kitchen.
She'd woken up after Shiv and Brianna had left the room and couldn't get back to sleep, so she took a walk downstairs to get herself some water. Lying in bed by herself was causing her to overthink and she didn't like it.
"You need a glass?" Cole stuck his head out from behind the fridge door as Lyla jumped.
"Jesus." Lyla said, terrified. She hadn't even noticed the fridge door was open.
"What? You didn't see me?" Cole asked.
"No, I didn't see you." She snapped, "You just… popped out."
"The glasses are over there." He pointed to a cupboard across the kitchen.
"Why are you down here?" She shook her head, feeling foolish for getting such a huge fright in front of him.
"Why are you?" Cole asked.
"I asked first." Lyla said, marching over to the cupboard and taking a glass out.
"I was thirsty and hungry." Cole said, "You go."
"How can you be hungry?" She shook her head.
"I have a high calorie intake." Cole shrugged.
"Oh, you're not a gym bro, are you?" She groaned, getting some water from the dispenser.
"What's a gym bro?" Cole asked, a little horrified as he closed the fridge.
"You know… a guy who goes to the gym every spare chance he gets. Drinks eggs for breakfast. Has a mental breakdown if he doesn't meet his protein goal." She explained as he raised his eyebrows.
"Uh… I haven't gone to the gym in years." He said, slightly confused, "I work in construction. I'm active all day." He explained as Lyla nodded slowly.
"Right." She said, feeling even dumber.
"You alright? You seem a little…"
"A little what?" She asked him defensively.
"Mad?" Cole said in a questioning tone.
"I'm not mad." Lyla scoffed, "I'm tired and miss my own bed." She said, although that wasn't what she was thinking about in bed earlier.
"That it?" He asked, "You've seemed a little off all night."
"Who made you psychologist?" She asked.
"Just an observation." He put his hands up as she looked across at him, wondering if saying it out loud to someone would justify he feelings or make her feel even more stupid.
"It's stupid." She shook her head, "I'm just tired."
"What's stupid?" He asked her.
"Me. My life." Lyla said, folding her arms self-consciously, "Just feel behind on life. I'm happy for Becca. So happy. But… all my friends are moving on with their lives. Even Shiv and Daryl… they'll find their way back to one another eventually. And I'm just stuck here in the same place." She said, "I mean… my longest relationship was with a guy who was married. Says it all really." She shook her head as he looked across at her, sighing a little.
"Not everyone's life looks the same." He said, stepping a little closer to her, "We're all on different journeys." He shrugged as she looked at him, "Your worth isn't defined by those things." He said as she looked up at him.
"Hard when it's all I can see around me, though." She said.
"I mean… you're the only one I could see tonight. I didn't really notice anything else." He said quietly as she looked up at him, swallowing the lump of nerves in her throat. She'd be lying if she said that didn't turn her stomach to mush.
"You're… not very observant then." She said.
"I am." He assured her, stepping a little closer to her until they were suddenly very close, and they were moving towards each other.
"Oh, are we having snacks?" Finn walked into the kitchen, rubbing his hair tiredly.
Lyla immediately stepped away as Cole turned back to his sandwich he had made earlier. Both of them had forgot Finn was taking the couch for sleeping in the living room.
"I just… wanted some water." Lyla said, picking her glass up and heading off out the kitchen, not before stealing one more glance at Cole.
A/N: AJ/Punk and Becca/Patrick's storm night coming up next!