Beating the odds

by LioSky

Something was going on with Mike, and it wasn't anything good. He felt it, and Harvey had noticed it. It was not like it was the first time either. But this time it was nothing that either of them could control. As it turns out Mike is sick, really sick. He is going to need help, and a lot of it.

80. Chapter 80 - Concussion

Chapter 80.

Mike looked a bit calmer when the food arrived a couple of minutes later. They continued talking and Harvey told the younger man to keep coming to him about stuff like this.

"I want to know about them. I want to know if there is something you need help dealing with, or if you just want to vent. I'm here for that too."

Mike thanked him again and Harvey thought that his eyes looked a bit shiny. It was kind of sweet that the kid got so emotional about this.

"I keep telling you again and again, you know. That I'm here. I got you back."

"Yeah, I know. I know you do. I got yours too. If you need to vent."

"Well, you know there is only one thing I would vent about, and I don't think you would be the right person to go to for that."

Mike smirked. "You mean you want to vent about me."

"Yep. About all the sleep I'm missing when you have your nightmares for example."

"You're an asshole." Mike said, but he smiled so there was no harm done there.

Harvey smiled too and leaned back in his chair as the food arrived. Mike complained a little about his dish, Harvey suspected that he did it just to annoy him.

"Just eat it." He said.

"So, do you still have nightmares?" He asked a couple of minutes later.

Mike put down his fork and watched him for a moment. He nodded.

"Yeah…Every other night, but they are not so bad. Sometimes I don't even wake up from them."

"But sometimes you do."

"Yes."

"Okay. You know you can call for me then. I'll come."

"I know." Mike said and looked down. "I can handle it alone though. Better than before at least."

Harvey nodded. "I know. But you don't have to do it alone."

Mike smiled at him. "You are a good man, Harvey." He said.

Harvey didn't answer him at that, but he felt a warm feeling inside of him looking at Mike as he took another bite.

"And besides, last night I dreamt that my front teeth had grown really far apart. It was pretty traumatic, but I don't think I need to wake you up for that."

Harvey laughed a bit and Mike continued to tell him about another weird dream he had had. Harvey's thoughts couldn't help but wander and he remembered the countless nights he had spent next to Mike's bed as the younger man was delirious from fever, or a time when he had been forced to feed the kid because he was too weak to eat by himself. They had come a long way from that. Sometimes it was hard to believe that they were here, that it had happened. Mike had been so damn ill. He had almost died multiple times, in front of Harvey. In fact, he had been there every time Mike had been close to dying, and now here they were at some restaurant with Mike eating like a normal person.

"Why are you looking like that?" Mike then asked him. "Are you having a stroke or something?"

Harvey rolled his eyes at him. "No. I'm not having a stroke."

"It kind of looked like you were. You were staring at me all weird."

"Just eat your food."

"I was. You were the one just sitting there staring."

"Alright, just be quiet now."

Mike smirked at him. He was pretty annoying at times too.

During the following days Harvey kept a close eye on Mike. He looked for signs that told him that the younger man needed to talk and tried to notice if he was more upset than usual. Especially after his treatment sessions. It was a good thing that Mike had told him about how he was feeling sometimes and that he still got upset and still had nightmares. Harvey hadn't known that. It wasn't that strange if he had though. The last couple of months had been traumatic for both of them. Harvey had nightmares too sometimes. He didn't talk about it with anyone though, like he tried to get Mike to do.

"If I feel the need to tell you, I will." Mike had reassured him though. Harvey had tried to back off a little after that.

The other day Mike had brought up a suggestion about him wanting to start to work a little bit more.

"Maybe just little longer during the day, or maybe one more day a week?" He had said. "I just feel like I'm ready for that."

"You slept three hours after we got home yesterday." Harvey reminded him.

"Yeah, but I didn't really need it though. I just didn't have much else to do."

"So, you were sleeping to pass the time?" Harvey asked him.

"Yeah, sure."

"It's your doctor you need to convince Mike, not me."

"But you can tell them that I can handle it."

"We don't know if you can handle it yet, kid. And you are still receiving treatment."

"But I don't feel like crap as much, and if I do, I can just go home."

Harvey held up his hands. "Mike, I repeat. Your doctors have the final say in this, not me."

"Yeah, but they aren't here, are they?"

Harvey shook his head at him, and then he just ignored Mike as he continued to argue that he was perfectly fine with working more. He did agree with Mike though, he could probably work a bit more than the two halve days he now was allowed to work. Harvey was still reluctant to leave Mike alone at home for longer periods of times. Sometimes he allowed him to be by himself for an hour or two if he some things to finish up, or if someone else couldn't stay with him for as long as needed. Donna accompanied him once or twice a week, Rachel, or Louis now and then, but not often. Adam only came when Mike had had treatment or went to therapy.

They had a couple of good weeks, where Mike only spent a few in bed sick from treatment. He really could handle it better now. Neither of them knew why.

"Why dwell on it." Mike had said. "I'm just glad that I don't have to spend hours upon hours in the bathroom."

"Yes, you definitely spend less time in there." Harvey agreed.

Mike had eventually been able to convince his doctors that he would be allowed to work another day of the week. At least he could do it for a couple of weeks to try and see if he could handle it. Harvey had accompanied him on the meeting where it was decided, he felt that he needed to hear it from the professionals and not just from Mike.

"You don't trust me, do you?" The kid had asked him.

"Not with this, no."

Mike glared at him and opened his mouth to argue, but then he closed it again. "Well, I wouldn't just outright lie to you."

"You got what you wanted; you should be happy."

"I can work three days a week, but not more than four hours. That's what they said. That's nothing. I can do full days. You know I can."

"I don't get why you have to rush it, Mike. You should enjoy this."

"I'm not enjoying anything. I get bored and I'm keeping you, or Donna or anyone else that's with me from doing what they should be doing."

"Has anyone ever complained? Except you."

"No, you are all too nice to do that, and Adam gets paid to hang around with me. But I'm keeping you from doing more important stuff. It's a waste of everyone's time."

"Have you forgotten that you have heart cancer? We are with you to keep you alive in case you have an emergency. I say that's pretty damn important."

Mike sighed. "Fine, you win. I get it. I'm going to wait, okay."

"Good."

Harvey shook his head at the younger man when he left the room. He didn't care what Mike thought about the fact that he wasn't allowed to work as much as he wanted. Three days a week was a lot. Sometimes he thought it was too much, but it was harder to stop Mike now, when he was allowed by his doctors. Mike had proven though, that he knew when he needed to stay at home. At least a few times he had told Harvey that he wasn't feeling well enough to go to the office. The last time they both had stayed at home, and Mike had felt better again after lunch and had worked some then instead.

A couple of days later when they were at the office Mike was acting a bit strange, so Harvey knew that something was up. He didn't say anything though and decided to wait and see. Mike was sitting at the couch with a few files in front of him. It didn't seem like he was paying much attention to them though. He would look up towards Harvey, fidget a bit, draw in a breath, just to release it again and look back down on the files. Harvey smiled to himself but waited.

"So, Harvey…" Mike eventually started to say, and Harvey looked up at him.

"Yes, Mike."

"I was thinking… Do you think that things are different between us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, from before all of this." He mentioned towards his chest.

Harvey raised an eyebrow, so Mike continued.

"It's just I feel different Harvey." He said.

Harvey closed the lid to his computer to give Mike all of his attention. He got up and went over to sit down next to the kid on the couch.

"Of course, things are different Mike. You had heart cancer, still have, and you fought for your life on a daily basis. And I was right there with you. It changed us and it changed our relationship."

Mike swallowed and nodded. "Yeah, I know." He said quietly. "I know. But in a good way, right?"

Mike looked up at him. He smiled but looked hesitant.

"Are you kidding? Of course, kid." Harvey smiled back, patted Mike's shoulder a bit and went back to his desk. Mike followed him and sat down in front of him.

"But you are not going to treat me any differently now, though, right? I mean, things can go back to the way they were before, right?"

Harvey looked at him for a moment. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes!"

Harvey nodded a bit. "Yeah, that's not going to happen Mike."

"Harvey…"

"I treated you like shit then." He said.

"No, you didn't. Harvey…"

"I'm not going pretend that the last year didn't happen. Like I said, I have changed Mike, and so have you. And I don't know about you, but I like this version of me more."

Mike looked at him with wide eyes.

"Stop." Harvey told him. "It's the end of the discussion Mike. But don't worry. I'm not going to go easy on you just because you're sick."

Mike just looked at him. "Go back to work." Harvey waved at him.

Mike leaned back in the chair and smirked. "Fine." He said standing up. He stopped himself before walking out of the door. "I like this version of you as well." He said then disappeared out the door. Harvey watched him go. He then met Donna's eyes and saw that she was smiling towards him.

"I also prefer this version, Harvey." She said. He just shook his head and opened his laptop.

"By the way Donna, find out where he is going? He's still working in here."

-SUITS-

When Mike got out from the bathroom Donna was standing in the hallway waiting for him. She smiled warmly against him when she saw him.

"How are you doing Mike?" She asked.

"I'm fine."

"Good." She stepped up to him and hooked her arm with his and started to head back towards Harvey's office.

"Did you come to get me?" Mike asked but let her keep her hold of his arm. She didn't answer him.

When they stepped inside Harvey's office Mike got his answer though. Harvey had sent her; he could tell from Harvey's expression. Mike just smiled and sat down and watched when Donna and Harvey exchanged a look before she went back to her own desk. He wasn't going to say anything else though. Hearvey had a pretty long way to go before he would be more relaxed with things. But the older man had made some good points, and Mike was just going to accept what he had said.

It wouldn't be possible for them to go back to how things were before the cancer, he knew that. And now when he thought about it, he felt a little stupid for saying that he wanted that. Also, if he was honest, he didn't want to go back to exactly as they had been before. Harvey had treated him a bit harsh at times then. And if he had a bad day now, he wanted to be able to go to Harvey about that and be supported. He knew that Harvey today would give it to him without question. He wasn't that sure about Harvey pre cancer.

After that conversation Mike thought that he noticed a difference in Harvey's behavior towards him. Harvey was trying to give him some more space it seemed. He allowed Mike to be more independent and gave him more important work. He wasn't allowed to take on any cases by himself yet. Harvey said that it would be too unpredictable for the client, something that Mike argued against quite a lot. Harvey still refused, not even a pro bono. He repeatedly said that he didn't want Mike to become overwhelmed.

On evenings after treatment when Mike was in the bathroom throwing his guts up, he kind of agreed though. It was hard to focus on anything else when he was in that state.

One evening was especially bad and he had trouble getting up on his feet. He tried to get up but just fell back down again and managed to hit the back of his head against the bathroom wall. For a moment he thought he was going to pass out and for a second everything went black. He blinked a few times, and the room was dancing in front of him. When he blinked, he felt dizzy and wondered if he needed to throw up some more, but it was nothing left. To his surprise he felt how his eyes teared up as his head pounded.

"Ha-Harvey…" He weakly called out. He figured he could use some help, and he didn't feel like being alone anymore. He had to call again, a bit louder.

He closed his eyes and waited, careful to not lean his aching head against the wall.

After a minute or two he could hear Harvey's footsteps.

"Mike?"

Harvey carefully opened the bathroom door and stepped inside.

"You good?" He asked.

Mike still had his eyes closed and tried to figure out what to answer when Harvey's hand landed on his shoulder.

"Mike? Talk to me, what's wrong?"

"I hit my head." He said then.

Harvey sighed a little next to him. "Okay. You hit your head. How did you managed to do that? Let me see."

He carefully bent Mike's head down and then pulled the hat off him. Mike groaned, both from the loss of the hat and from the movement. Harvey's fingers lightly stroked the back of his head.

"At least you didn't bust your head open. I can't see or feel anything." Harvey said. "Tell me what happened."

"I just… I tried to get up and fell back down and hit my head."

"Okay. And…?"

"And it hurts!" Mike whined.

Harvey chuckled a bit.

"What am I going to do with you huh?" Harvey asked as he held on to Mike's shoulder again. "This proves that we can't leave you alone for more than a few minutes."

"It's not funny."

"I know. You want me to help you up?"

"Yeah." Mike muttered and held put a hand that Harvey grabbed. Harvey steadied him when he swayed as they got upright.

"Woah. Okay. So, you are done in here? Off to bed?"

"Yeah…"

Harvey followed him to his room and held on to his arm the entire way, Mike wasn't sure why, but he appreciated it. He felt a little shaky and unsteady. Hopefully it would get better if he just laid down a bit. He wanted to sleep.

"Do you think you are done?" Harvey asked him as he helped him to lay down in bed.

"What?"

"Are you done?" Harvey asked again and looked at him as if he thought Mike was stupid.

"With what?"

"Throwing up. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Harvey sighed a little and sat down on the bed.

"You think you are okay, or you think you are done with throwing up?"

"I don't know." Mike groaned and buried his head in a pillow. He wished that Harvey would stop asking him stuff. He didn't want to think anymore. His head was hurting, and it didn't help to lay down, like it sometimes did. But if Harvey was quiet, it might improve the situation slightly at least.

"I'll get your meds. You should have brushed your teeth before we left the bathroom."

He could hear Harvey walking out of the room and Mike closed his eyes. It felt like the room was still spinning even when he was laying down. He swallowed; it felt a little like he was going to throw up again.

Harvey shook his arm and Mike didn't know why he was bothering him. Why couldn't Harvey just let him be?

"What?!" He asked.

"Sit up Mike."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Mike."

Harvey shook him again, and Mike moved away from him.

"Leave me alone." He said.

"I don't think so. Just sit up and take it."

"What?"

"Mike, I'm not messing around. Sit up now."

Harvey actually sounded a bit angry now. Maybe he should do what he said. He breathed out. He felt a bit nauseated. Was he going to throw up? He couldn't do that in bed. It would be gross. But he didn't feel like getting up. His head was hurting quite a lot. Harvey was sitting beside him. What was it that he wanted now again? Mike blinked up at him.

"Mike, come on!" Harvey said now. He was holding something.

Mike looked at Harvey's face again. Why was he angry? Had he done something to piss Harvey off?

"What?" He said now. He suddenly felt a bit sad. He didn't want Harvey to be angry with him. He swallowed again. He didn't know where this headache came from. It really hurt. Maybe he was a little confused too.

"Mike?" Harvey's voice sounded a little kinder. "You want me to help you?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

A minute later his bed started moving and Mike groaned a bit as he was forced to a more upright position. He hadn't known that it was sitting up that Harvey wanted to help him with.

Harvey then held out the small cup with his meds, and Mike instinctively shook his head, at least until he remembered that it was hurting. He didn't want to put anything in his mouth right now. He felt nauseated. He turned his head away from Harvey, but the older man just pushed his head back towards him again.

"Mike, come on now." He said kindly. Mike did what Harvey wanted then. Sometimes that was just easier.

He got to lay down again after that, and he closed his eyes and wished that he would just fall asleep now. That would be good.

-SUITS-

Harvey slowly leaned back in his chair. He sat as frozen for a moment, not knowing what his next move should be. Clearly something was wrong with Mike. He had just acted totally confused, but it seemed like the kid had been totally clueless about it.

He was worried. He had a few options now, or at least two. Take Mike to the hospital or stay at home and hope that Mike was better when he woke up again.

When he had found Mike on sitting on the floor, he had been pretty surprised. It was just weird for him to sit like that. At first, he hadn't been worried, but Mike had said that he hit his head. Was the confusion some sort of reaction from that. He fished out his phone and typed in the words confusion hit head.

He immediately knew that it had been a bad thing to do. The first thing that came up were an article about traumatic brain injury. Did the kid have a concussion? Mike hadn't complained about any headache. He had thrown up though, but that was from the treatment, he was pretty sure.

Harvey sighed and leaned back in his chair and looked at Mike. He was completely out. He had fallen asleep in half a minute. Should he wake him up and see if he had anymore symptoms of a concussion. Had he been slurring on his words? Harvey wasn't sure, Mike had mostly spoken with single words.

He didn't want to make this decision. Going to the hospital would be such a hassle. Mike would be very uncooperative. It would take time to get him dressed, get him to walk and find a cab. Then they would have to wait the hospital, maybe for hours if they were unlucky. And what if it wasn't anything wrong with Mike. Maybe he just had been tired.

He glanced at his phone again and read through the symptoms of a concussion. Headache, nausea, slurred speech, confusion, dizziness and passing out. No, he needed to wake Mike up.

He carefully shook Mike's shoulder. Were you allowed to sleep with a concussion?

"Harvey… what?" Mike groaned and blinked up at him.

"Do you have a concussion?" Harvey asked him.

Mike just stared at him as if he had two heads.

"What?" He said again. He didn't sound that clever. He really must have hit his head.

"Does your head hurt?"

Mike blinked. "Yes." He said.

"Okay. Why?"

Mike still stared at him. But then he yawned and moved his head further down into the pillows.

"I don't know." He said and closed his eyes again.

"Okay, but did you hit it? You said you did."

Mike ignored him, so Harvey started to feel around on Mike's head to see if he would find a bump on it or something. He didn't find anything but noticed how Mike leaned into his hand. Harvey smiled towards him and left his hand there on the bed for a while.

He let Mike fall asleep again and placed a call to Adam, just to be on the safe side. The nurse reassured him and said that Harvey could wait until tomorrow and see how Mike was feeling by then, and if he had gotten worse a hospital trip couldn't hurt. Hopefully it wouldn't be necessary.

Harvey found himself back in Mike's room. The kid hadn't eaten dinner yet, but that was apparently out of the question now. Mike was sleeping for the night, even though it wasn't even ten a clock yet.

Harvey carefully pulled out the cover from under Mike and draped it over him instead. Mike was laying curled up, on his side, facing the door. He was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. He had the hood up over his head, like he almost always had if he wasn't wearing a hat. Mike still refused to show his bald head to anyone, even though Harvey had told him like thousand times that no one cared about how he looked.

"I do." Mike would mutter every time and pull at the hat he wore. Donna had gotten him like a dozen of them, so he at least had options.

Harvey took a tour of the condo and cleaned up a bit. He prepared Mike's morning meds, and a few extra painkillers if it would be needed during the night, checked on Mike one last time, turned on the baby monitor and then went to bed. He made himself comfortable and closed his eyes. Then he waited. And waited. Sleep didn't come though. He switched position, then flipped the pillow around and closed his eyes again. He decided to just wait, eventually he would fall asleep.

He didn't.

He decided to try and work a bit and see if he got tired from that. It didn't work, but at least he made some progress on the case he was handling currently. Maybe he should try and read something? No, he dismissed that idea pretty quickly.

He didn't know why he couldn't fall asleep. It was annoying. Or no, he knew. He glanced at the monitor, but it was quiet. Mike was the problem, of course. He had said that he had hit his head and it was hurting. What if he had passed out earlier? Should he go and check on him? Maybe wake him up and check if he was okay, but Adam had said that it was alright if Mike slept.

An hour later he was still awake. Several times he had considered getting up to go and check on Mike, but so far, he hadn't. He didn't need to do so, Mike was just sleeping, he told himself. He didn't need to get up and check on him. He couldn't fall asleep though, and eventually he gave up, and went over to Mike's bedroom.

Mike was indeed asleep, on his back with an arm across his forehead. For a moment Harvey observed him, but he seemed to be fine. He couldn't see any signs of him being in pain, and he was pretty sure he knew all those signs. He should go back to bed; he wasn't needed here, but he found that he couldn't. He didn't want to leave the room. He shook his head at himself and then made himself comfortable in the chair next to Mike's bed. He spent the night there. He had learnt to sleep well in that chair by now.

He woke up by a low groan from Mike. He looked over towards the bed and saw that the other man was about to wake up. His face showed signs of pain, and Harvey sat up straighter.

"Do you need some pain killers?" He asked and watched how Mike jerked and opened his eyes. He blinked a few times and then nodded. He didn't say anything, and Harvey went to get him a fresh glass of water.

Harvey didn't speak either as he helped Mike to sit up and handed him first the meds and then the water. He held on to Mike's shoulder as he brought the glass to his mouth.

"Where does it hurt?" Harvey wanted to know.

"My head." Mike said, confirming Harvey's suspicions.

"Do you know what day it is?" He asked.

Mike looked at him with empty eyes. He blinked slowly and then shook his head, as he sank down on the pillows again. He flung an arm over his eyes and moaned a little.

"Alright. Do you think we need to go to the hospital Mike? You have me a little worried here."

Mike removed his arm then and looked at him. "No, I don't need to go there. Why would we go there? Do I have treatment?"

Harvey stopped himself from sighing. "No, you don't. But you hit your head yesterday, remember?"

"Yeah." Mike closed his eyes again. "But I'm okay."

"You are not very convincing."

"Harvey… Please, can we talk another time. I just… I want it to be quiet."

"Sure. But I'm coming with breakfast in an hour. You didn't eat last night."

Mike didn't answer him, just turned his head further into the pillows, so Harvey left the room. At least the kid was more coherent than yesterday, but if Mike's head was still hurting in an hour, he would call the hospital.

Mike did still have a headache when Harvey came back an hour later, and he refused to have any of the breakfast he brought.

"You must be starving. You can eat it laying down if that's the problem." Harvey tried, but Mike ignored him.

"Mike, you need to eat." He said and wondered how many times he had said that sentence.

"But I feel sick!" Mike said. So, Harvey made the call.

He got to answer questions about Mike's head injury, and when he said that Mike had been confused and was nauseated, they told him to bring Mike to the hospital.

"It's better to be safe, than sorry." The nurse Harvey spoke to said.

Mike felt very sorry for himself, and cursed Harvey out a few times, but eventually with Harvey's help made it out of the condo and to the cab that was waiting for them. Harvey tried to not feel bad about forcing Mike to the hospital when he saw how miserable the other man was. He sat next to him with tense shoulders and his forehead pressed against the window and an arm pressed against his chest.

Mike didn't say a word as Harvey led him through the hospital corridors and had him sit down in a waiting room. For some time, he was sitting with closed eyes, breathing deeply, and ignored Harvey's attempts at small talk. After a while he leaned forward, leaned his elbows on his knees and pressed his hands over his ears. Harvey stopped talking then and went to check if they could get help faster. Unfortunately, he got bad news.

"They said it'll be another hour or so." He told Mike and sat down next to him again.

Mike groaned. "Why did you bring me here?"

"Because I want you to be checked out."

"But I just have a headache. What the hell will they do about that?!"

"Help you." Harvey said and clenched his teeth.

Mike swore at him, and Harvey felt a little pissed.

"I need to lay down." Mike said in a whiny voice. "This sucks!"

"Well, I can't help you there, right now. You just have to wait Mike."

Mike swore again, a little loader this time, and a woman with a child in her lap sitting on a bench across from them stared angerly at them.

"Mike, shut up. There are other people here." Harvey whispered, as he turned a little so that the woman couldn't see Mike. The younger man seemed to listen because he didn't speak anymore after that.

They had waited for about thirty minutes when Mike suddenly groaned again.

"Uh… Harvey, I really need to lay down. I think…"

Harvey sighed. "Well, you can't do that right now, can you?"

Mike uncurled a little and swayed as he sat up. Harvey felt a bit bad about his harsh tone as he saw Mike's face.

"I think I need to throw up." Mike whispered, and his eyes flickered around the room.

"Oh shit!" Harvey said and started to look for the bathroom as well. "I'll go and ask. Wait here."

However just as he reached the nurses station, he heard the unmistakably sound of reaching behind him. For a moment he stood still with closed eyes and found himself wishing that he was somewhere else, that he didn't have to turn around and deal with this. That he could just turn right and walk out the entrance. He didn't know why he suddenly felt fed up with all of this.

He didn't walk away though, of course he didn't. He could never do that to Mike. Instead, he hastily turned around and walked back towards Mike, who had fallen on his hands and knees next to the bench. Before he reached the kid, he was stopped by the same woman who had glared angrily at them earlier. She held her child's arm in on hand and put up her other hand as a stop signal, when Harvey tried to go around her, she placed her palm over his chest and pushed him back.

Harvey stopped in surprise and stared first at her hand, then at her face.

"What does he have?!" She almost screamed. "What is it? Is it infectious?"

Harvey glared at her and decided to just ignore her. Mike was coughing a bit behind her. Yet again the woman stopped him as he tried to go around her.

"What is it that he has!?" The woman yelled again.

More people were paying attention to them now, an older couple had stood up to see better, and at the nurse's station, someone was waving and pointing towards them. Harvey felt himself tense and closed his fists. He considered his options. He couldn't understand this woman in front of him. She had been the closest to Mike, and now instead of helping him, she was turning him into someone to fear. He could have yelled back at her, but instead he chose to step closer to her, so close that she backed away a few steps.

"He has cancer and a concussion." He said in a quiet voice, proud of himself for sounding so calm. "And I suggest that you sit back down and start minding your own business."

With that he went around her and sank down on his knees next to Mike, who seemed to be done throwing up. He was still on his hands and knees and his head hung forward and he had his eyes closed.

"Sorry." He whispered as he felt Harvey's presence next to him. Harvey lightly placed his hand on his shoulder and squeezed a bit.

The incident at least led to that they didn't have to wait anymore. They were still on the floor when a nurse came up to them and told them that they had a room for Mike. As a cleaner and another nurse came with a wheelchair for Mike, the woman from earlier spoke again.

"Why are you helping him? We were here before them!"

Harvey ignored her in favor of helping Mike to stand up, and it seemed like everyone else ignored her as well.

They were brought to an exam room and Mike was soon seen to. It was determined that he indeed had a concussion. Harvey helped with answering questions during the exam, and he felt bad for Mike as he was forced to sit up and perform different tasks to check his vision, hearing, and reflexes. At least he got to lay down during the neurological examination.

There was talk about doing an MRI, but Mike pleaded against it, so instead he was admitted for observation for at least 24 hours.

"How are you feeling?" Harvey asked as they were settled in a private room. Mike was laying on his side in front of him and blinked his eyes open to look at him.

"A little better." He said. "Sorry about before."

Harvey looked at him for a moment. He shrugged. "I don't know what you are talking about." He pulled Mike's blanket a little higher up. "You can sleep if you want."

"Will you stay?" Mike asked, not looking at him anymore.

Harvey hesitated for a moment before he said that he would. He had thought about asking if Mike wanted him to stay, and then the kid would have said that he didn't have to. And if he had left then he would just have felt guilty, because he knew that Mike wanted him there. He wanted to talk to Mike about how they had ended up here, but he could see that Mike still was in pain, so he would have to wait with that as well.

They got the opportunity a couple of hours later when Mike woke up from a drug induced sleep. He was groggy and at first, he didn't know where they were. Harvey could see on his face when he recalled the events that led him to this hospital bed.

"I embarrassed myself again, didn't I?" He asked.

Harvey smirked. "Well…"

Mike groaned and hid his face below his arm.

"You feel better?" Harvey asked.

"Yeah. A bit drowsy. What did they give me?"

"I don't know. The usual."

"Hm…"

"Mike. We need to have a little talk."

"Do we?" Mike removed his arm. He looked a bit like crap and Harvey hesitated for a moment, not really sure how Mike would handle the conversation he wanted to have, or any conversation for that matter. But it was worth a try.

"Yes, about how you ended up here."

Mike blankly looked at him, so Harvey continued.

"You need to be more careful. This could have been avoided." He pointed at Mike's head. "You are still sick; I need you to get that. This could have ended up a lot worse. You could have been seriously injured."

"It's just a concussion." Mike said. "I can go home soon."

"Still, you hit your head hard enough for you to end up in a hospital bed. You could have called me for help if you felt unsteady on your feet."

Mike glared at him now. "I didn't do this on purpose! I didn't know I was going to hit my head."

"I know. But you knew that you were dizzy, didn't you?"

He waited a moment, and Mike diverted his eyes, and Harvey knew that he was right.

"You are still sick. You need to take better care of yourself. You need to be more careful."

"I know, alright! You keep telling me!"

"If you were more careful, I wouldn't have to keep telling you."

"I tried to stand up from the floor, how should I do that more carefully?"

"By calling for me to help you."

"That's not reasonable, and you know that. I am being careful!"

Mike's face had taken a reddish color and his eyes were wide. Harvey held up his hands.

"Fine." He sighed. "Alright."

"I am careful Harvey. I rest a lot, I don't work too much, I take it easy. This time, I don't know, I balanced wrong, and I fell back down, and the wall happened to be there. I didn't hit my head on purpose!"

Mike's eyes were shiny by now, so Harvey nodded and said that he knew. They were both quiet for a while. Mike's breathing had slowed down again, and he looked calmer.

"The wall just happened to be there, huh?" Harvey said.

Mike laughed with him then.

They got to leave the next morning, with a prescription for pain killers that would take the worst of Mike's headache away. They said that he might suffer from it for a few days, and if the meds didn't help, he needed to take it up with his doctor.

The following days Mike spent most of his time in bed in his dark room, and when Harvey forbad him to go to the office Mike didn't contest it. Harvey felt bad for him and worked from home as much as he could. Luckily Mike's headache got better after a few days, and he moved to the couch instead of his bed. Donna spent a day with him there watching movies. Harvey came home late that night and found Mike asleep with his legs on Donna's lap. He helped her to get up without waking the kid.

"How was your day?" She asked.

Harvey shrugged. "Fine. How was yours?"

"Good. Mike mostly slept though. He says the new painkillers make him drowsy."

"Yeah, apparently. But he is getting off them tomorrow."

The next morning Mike wanted to come with him again to the office.

"I've been home forever now, Harvey. I'm so bored."

Harvey rolled his eyes at him. "Yes, but there was a reason why you stayed at home, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, but that reason is gone now. I'm perfectly fine. And you know I have a pause with the treatment now. It'll start up in three weeks now, so I think I can work more now. Maybe a little bit every day?"

Harvey didn't agree with that logic, but he allowed Mike to go with him for today. He could forget coming with him every day. He didn't say that though.

Things worked well, and they didn't have any more incidents. Mike did some good work and Harvey allowed him to stay a bit longer then the half days he was supposed to work. It wasn't physically straining, and Mike sometimes laid down of the couch as he went through files.

-SUITS-

It was decided that Mike would be allowed to stay at home by himself now and then. At first Harvey was hesitant, but they talked it over with the hospital people. They deemed that Mike wasn't in any danger as long as he took it easy and didn't do anything straining.

"Like what?" Mike asked then, and Harvey glared at him.

"What?" Mike said. "I just want to know what I should avoid. I'm thinking about running a marathon next year. You know, to celebrate the miracle of life. I need to start training soon." He smirked at the people in room, but no one else thought it was funny though, and he regretted that joke because they had to sit through a twenty-minute lecture about his lowered heart functions. He had zooned out after just three minutes. That was a gift that having cancer had given him, the ability to totally zoon out all the medical talk. Other stuff as well. He would never admit it, but sometimes it happened when Harvey talked about his cases. He knew he should listen to that, to learn and all, but sometimes it was rather boring, and he didn't think that Harvey noticed. Or maybe he did, but let it go because Mike had cancer and was fragile or whatever.

Mike had been the one pushing for being allowed to stay at home by himself. It felt like the right thing to do towards Harvey now. He knew that he could handle it emotionally now. That hadn't been possible earlier, but he felt better now. He wasn't as scared anymore. Sure, sometimes his mind went to the dark place, and he could feel that hole inside of him start to grow. He could push it away better now though.

Harvey had missed so much work because of him, and Harvey loved what he was doing, Mike knew that. He felt honored that Harvey without question would give it up for him. So, now when he felt better, he should let Harvey do whatever he wanted to do more.

It wasn't that he wanted to spend time alone. He wasn't looking forward to it at all, and hopefully it would only be a few hours here and there at first. Like when his workday was over, he could head home early, and Harvey could follow him later. Noone would have to accompany him home and just waste their time with him, doing nothing productive.

"I don't like when you talk about yourself like that." Harvey had said when Mike had told him that. "I like spending time with you."

"No, you don't. Not all the time."

"No, you sleep way too much, that's pretty boring actually."

"It's because I'm bored of you, I rather sleep."

Harvey laughed at him then.

Here they were now. He was well enough to not need constant supervision. He wouldn't drop dead anymore. His doctor did say something about they weren't out of the woods, and reminded him that he still had cancer, the usual. But he was better. That was huge. Sometimes he couldn't believe it, and sometimes he was scared that it was all a mistake. If he still had cancer on his heart, how could it not be dangerous? But he figured that he needed to relax and trust his doctor.

It was all because of Harvey, that he had gotten this far. Without him he wouldn't be here. It wasn't just the fact that Harvey had fabricated his test results to get him on his lifesaving trial, or that Harvey had performed CPR on him multiple times. It was all that was in between. The way Harvey would squeeze his shoulder when he was in pain or hold his hand. That he came and said good night every evening or stayed in his room until he fell asleep. It was that Harvey had learnt everything there was to know about his illness and kept check of his medication. It was the words Harvey said when he was down or sad. He had never allowed Mike to give up. He made it seem like Mike not making it wasn't even an option, even though he only had been given ten percent chance of surviving. Ten percent had been enough. He really believed that.

It was time to start giving back to Harvey now. Mike would never be able to return what Harvey had given him, what he had done for him, but he was going to try. Right now, he was giving Harvey some time away from himself as a first step.

Later when they got back home, they talked a bit about it.

"I just want to know one thing." Harvey said. "Are you pushing this for my sake?"

Sometimes he sucked at hiding things from Harvey, and this time he didn't even try.

"Yes." He just said.

"Mike… You know that you don't have to do that. I don't mind staying home with you, I have told you that."

"Yes, I know you have told me that, but it's fine Harvey. It's not like I'm suffering from it. Not anymore at least. I might be a bit bored, but that's all. So, we are doing this."

"But…"

"End of discussion."

Harvey smirked at his tone of voice, but he didn't argue more after that. Although the first day they tried it, Harvey came home only an hour after Mike had left. Mike just rolled his eyes at him then and didn't say anything. Maybe Harvey needed to get used to it.

The second time they tried it was an evening when Harvey suddenly came up to him where he was laying on the couch and asked if it was okay if he went out for a run. Mike happily agreed, glad that Harvey had asked him. It felt a bit strange though to be alone at the condo when it was dark outside, he didn't know when that had happened last. He found himself wandering around the condo, stopping to look out the windows now and then. He thought about his own apartment. Maybe he could start to think about moving back there soon. The thought felt foreign, and he didn't know if he wanted to do it or not. He decided to not think about it, besides, Harvey would just laugh at him if he brought it up.

When Harvey got back again, he almost looked a little worried.

"Are you okay? Everything good?" He wanted to know, and Mike did his best at reassuring him.

After that Harvey started to leave for a run or something else about once a week. To Mike it seemed like Harvey wanted to take it slow, get him accustomed to being left alone. Almost like he was a child. But it was nice of Harvey, and Mike didn't say anything about it.

"You got to tell me if something is bothering you." Harvey said one evening when he came into Mike's room to say good night.

"I do that." Mike claimed.

Harvey just looked at him until Mike felt uncomfortable, said good night and turned his back on Harvey.

The first time Mike spent half a day home alone didn't go very well. He didn't like it. He just didn't, and he hated himself for that. The first hour went okay, the second as well. He watched a movie and then took a little nap, but when he woke up again, he felt bad. Not bad in a way that he needed medical attention, but in the other way. The way where he couldn't explain the feelings because they didn't make sense.

He curled up on his bed below a blanket with his phone in his hands. He wasn't going to call anyone, he just wasn't. Still, he found his fingers opening the phone app, going to favorites and then looking at their names and numbers. He knew that he could call, every one of them would pick up, and every one of them would leave what they had at hand and come over. If he asked them, they would. Even Louis. But he didn't call, he didn't even text. He was going to wait because he could do this. He needed to do this. Harvey would he home soon anyway, just in a few hours, he had said that. Maybe he would even come earlier, like he had before. Mike knew that he was being stupid when he wished for Harvey to come right now.

He felt so damn pathetic when he laid there and just felt worse by the minute. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to be able to handle this. He had told Harvey that he did. He couldn't admit that he didn't now. His chest was starting to hurt too, but he didn't do anything about it. Maybe it was just as he imagined it. The pain got worse, but he stayed in bed in the same position.

He tried to distract himself, tried to listen to a book on his phone, tried to play games and tried to sleep. Nothing worked though and he found himself crying silently into a pillow, unable to rid himself of the self-loathing. He was still laying in the same position when Harvey finally got home. He had stopped crying though, thankfully. He told Harvey that he was in pain, and the older man had him to sit up and gave him pain killers and a glass of water. For a moment Mike wished that Harvey would take him in his arms, just for a moment. Harvey didn't do that though, instead he left again to go and change clothes. Mike stiffly got out of bed and went to lay on the couch instead. The rest of the evening he faked a good mood.

-SUITS-

Mike staying home by himself after work was a success and Harvey felt proud of him. Mike was in a great mood this evening. He talked nonstop, asked question after question, and laughed. After a while though Harvey thought that his laugh was a little too cheerful. He also noticed that Mike was following his every move. He even got up from the couch and followed Harvey into his bedroom as he went to get a folder he had left in there.

Mike said that he was fine, apart from some chest pain, but Harvey couldn't help but feeling suspicious. He wanted to just let it go and play along with Mike and just let everything be alright, however he wasn't sure that he could do it. For now, he was going to try though. It seemed like that was what Mike wanted.

They continued with Mike staying by himself. Although Harvey made sure to leave as early as he could. At least if he knew that Mike would be by himself for a longer time. Only on the days when Mike went to therapy, he allowed himself to stay full days. Sometimes he also sent Donna home to hang out with Mike. The other man didn't mention anything about that, so Harvey took that as a sign of approval. He knew of course that Mike preferred company, than to staying by himself, but Mike still insisted on the fact that he would go home by himself, and that Harvey should stay at the office.

Some days when he got home Mike had cooked them dinner, or if he had been to the hospital and make it home before Harvey, he would order them something. It was nice to come home to a warm meal, and Mike seemed to take pride in being able to provide it.

Mike still ate like a picky child, some days just shuffling the food around on his plate and talking nonstop as if to distract Harvey from the fact that he wasn't eating. Sometimes Harvey forced him to eat up at least haft the portion. He didn't enjoy that and found himself saying things along the line of "Just five more bites." Or "You can do it." And Mike would glare at him and then not do what he said.

Today Mike was unusually tired, and Harvey watched as he fought to keep his eyes opened, as he finished the last of his own portion. Mike had had maybe five or six spoons of the soup they were having.

"Mike!" Harvey said loudly and watched how Mike jerked in his seat, so that his spoon flew down on the floor.

"Shit." Mike yawned and looked down on the spoon, contemplating if he should pick it up or not. Apparently, he deemed it unnecessary, because he pushed his bowl a little out of the way and then leaned his head in his arms on the table.

"You just going to go back to sleep then?" Harvey asked him.

"I'm just resting my eyes." Mike said and didn't move. A minute later Harvey could hear a light snore. Harvey shook his head at him, and then shook Mike awake.

"Go to bed." He said when Mike groggily sat up and yawned.

"What? I haven't eaten yet."

Harvey rolled his eyes at him thinking about the countless times he had reminded Mike that he needed to eat more. And now, when he told him to do something else, he had decided to listen to that. He didn't say anything though, instead he spent twenty minutes in front of the kid as he stirred his soup over and over.

"It's not like it is warm any longer." He couldn't help but mutter when he started to get bored. "You want me to reheat it?" He stood up and reached for Mike's bowl.

"Eh… No thanks. I think I'm done." He let Harvey take it and slowly followed him to the kitchen with their glasses. He was just standing stupidly in front of the dishwasher with them in his hands until Harvey took them from him and sent Mike away to go and lay down.

"But I can… I can do the dishes." Mike said.

"That's nice Mike, but I don't think you can. Go and lay down, kid."

Mike stared at him for a moment before nodding and doing what he was told, laying down on the couch. Harvey finished cleaning up in the kitchen, prepared Mike's last dose of medication for the day as well as the dose for the next day. He then went to the fridge and looked around there for a bit until he found what he was looking for, some apples Donna had bought. He cut them up and after a moment of consideration peeled the pieces. He then put them on a plate and went over to Mike, who seemed to be waiting for him, he was blinking slowly and looking up at him. Harvey put down the plate in front of him.

"I want you to finish this. You barely had dinner."

Mike stared at the plate for a long time.

"Grammy used to do that." He said then.

"Well, did you eat it then?"

"Yeah." Mike whispered, still staring at the apple pieces. He then reached out and took a piece. "Thank you." He said. "You're great Harvey."

"I know." Harvey sat down in front of him and reached for his laptop. "You should sit up and eat it, you'll choke otherwise."

Mike grinned and struggled upright. To Harvey's satisfaction he finished the whole plate during the rest of the night.

The next morning Harvey was reluctant to let Mike come to the office, and they had an argument about it.

"It's not up to you to just decide how I'm feeling, and I'm telling you that I'm fine!"

"Yes, you have said that five times now Mike, but yesterday you fell asleep at the damn table."

"Yesterday!"

"You should stay home and rest."

"Well, I'm not going to." Mike glared at him.

"I can just leave without you."

"And I can just take a cab by myself."

They stared at each other, both refusing to back down. Eventually Harvey turned away.

"Let's go then." He muttered to Mike and headed for the door. He knew it was a bit childish, but he walked faster than normal, and Mike had trouble following him. He was breathing hard when they were in the car a few minutes later, but refused to say anything about it, and Harvey ignored it as well.

They didn't speak much at the office, Mike just buried himself in the files he had been given, and Harvey did the same. Harvey had a lunch meeting with a client, and left Mike by himself. When he returned a few hours later Mike had already left. Donna told him that the two of them had went to lunch and that Mike had left shortly after that. She also reminded him that Mike had therapy today.

"How did he seem?" Harvey wanted to know.

"He was fine. Nothing seemed to be wrong. Did something happen?"

"No, nothing."

"He will be home around three."

Harvey only nodded. He knew that she meant that he should leave so that he would be home when Mike got there. He didn't do that though, instead he left the office close to five, ignoring all the looks Donna gave him. He did keep close watch on his phone though in case Mike would text him.

When Harvey got home, he could feel that something was wrong from just stepping into the hallway. The knot of worry he so often felt in his stomach came to life in an instant, he couldn't explain it, he just knew that something wasn't like it should. The apartment was silent.

"Mike?!" he called out, rushing inside. Mike's door was closed. The kid didn't close it unless something was wrong. He didn't bother knocking, just barged in because Mike hadn't answered his call.

Mike was there though, up and walking, but Harvey couldn't tell that it was something going on with him. Mike had his back against him but turned around when the door swung opened.

"Hi." He weakly said as he walked over to Harvey, but before he got all the way to him, he turned around and walked back. He was walking a bit hunched.

"What are you doing?"

"Walking." Mike answered, came against him, and then turned again.

"I would say you're pacing." Harvey let out a breath that he hadn't realized that he had been holding.

"Shut up." Mike said.

Harvey rolled his eyes, a bit annoyed. "What's wrong?" he just asked.

"Nothing is wrong."

"Something is wrong. Either you can tell me, or you can continue pacing, I don't care."

Mike didn't answer and continued. Harvey sighed in frustration. "Mike!"

"You said you don't care!"

Harvey took a step back startled by the volume of Mike's voice. He shouldn't respond with anger, he reminded himself. It wouldn't get them anywhere. At least not anywhere good. He decided to retreat.

"I'll be in the kitchen." He said and stepped out, closing the door behind him.

He had expected Mike to show up an hour or so later when he had cooled down from whatever got him so upset. But the kid didn't come out of his room. When two hours had passed Harvey went to see what was going on. The dinner was almost done anyway. He knocked but didn't receive an answer. He sighed.

"Mike? I'm coming in."

He was puzzled when he opened the door and found the room empty. "Mike?"

He thought he heard something and stepped inside. Mike was at the only place where he was hidden from sight form the door. He was curled up on the floor next to the foot of his bed. He had his knees drawn up and his head buried against them, hugging them to himself. He looked like a small child. He must have known that Harvey was in the room, but he didn't look up. Harvey's heart sank in his chest as he saw how Mike was trembling.

Harvey didn't say anything else. He glanced at his suit pants that he hadn't changed out of yet, and then sat down on the floor next to Mike. He sat there in silence waiting to see if Mike was going to say or do something, but he didn't. Harvey nodded a bit to himself and then moved a bit closer to his associate and put an arm around his still shaking back. Mike made a low sound but didn't react much otherwise. They just sat there. A couple of minutes passed. Then Mike lowered his legs alongside Harvey's and leaned against him. The kids head ended up pressed against the side of Harvey's neck while he pressed his arms towards his chest.

"Are you in pain?" Harvey quietly asked and felt how Mike nodded against him.

"You took the pills?"

Mike nodded again.

"Just after I got home."

"I'm sorry." Harvey held him a bit closer to him because this was all he could offer Mike at this point. He hoped it was to some comfort. He heard Mike's breathes shutter and felt him shake a bit more.

"You do care, right?" Mike suddenly whispered.

Harvey felt angry at first. Why would Mike be questioning him like this? But he then thought back on earlier. Mike had been in pain then too and Harvey had just backed out and closed the door. He couldn't really blame Mike for asking the question at this point.

"I do Mike. You don't have to ask me that, you know I care. You are not alone in this." He said.

"Thanks."

"Sure."

"I just wanted to make sure. Sorry." Mike mumbled. "I know you care. I just needed to hear it I guess."

"Sure." Harvey said again.

"I want to sit here for a while."

"Okay."

So, they did.

Mike's pain didn't seem to lessen, and Harvey started to feel some of his own sitting on the floor like that. Eventually he thought it was enough and Harvey shifted a little.

"You want to move somewhere a little more comfortable?" He asked. "I have to check on the dinner too."

"Okay." Mike whispered and they began a slow process of getting up. Mike was so stiff and tense that Harvey practically had to drag him up on his feet. He didn't take his hands off Mike as they walked to the living room. He wasn't sure Mike would have remained standing if he had let go. Harvey helped Mike lay down on the couch and he immediately curled up, hands pressed against his chest. Harvey stuffed a pillow under his head and threw a blanket over him.

"One moment." Harvey told him then. When he returned to the couch, he had a hot water bottle for Mike and his laptop for himself. He also put their dinner under a lid for later. He wasn't that hungry yet anyway, and when Mike was like this he wouldn't eat.

He sat down close to the kid's head, so close that they were touching, and opened his laptop. Mike sighed as he hugged the water bottle.

"Thank you, Harvey." He said.

"You're welcome. Now be quiet and let me work."

Mike huffed but didn't say anything else. A few minutes later when Harvey looked down on him, he had his eyes closed. Harvey thought he was sleeping but he still looked like he was in pain. Damn. He had forgotten how much this hurt in him too, to see Mike like this, and knowing that there wasn't anything that he could do to take it away. All they could do now was to wait it out.

He felt how Mike shifted a bit and pressed his head a little closer to Harvey's leg. For a moment he rested his hand on top of Mike's sweaty forehead.

"Hang in there." He mumbled.

"Yeah…" Mike forced out. "I'm trying."

"Anything I can do?"

"No. Thanks though."

"No problem."

"I think… I think it will pass soon."

"Yeah."

"Sorry about before. I yelled at you."

"Yep. You did. It's fine though. I can take it."

Mike smiled a little, still with his eyes closed. He didn't speak anymore after that, and Harvey went back to the document he had been reading. The next time he looked down on Mike, the man was sleeping. Harvey wondered if Mike had been in pain the whole day but had pretended that he was fine.

They had talked about the pain Mike went through at a recent hospital visit and had been told that it was hard to say whether Mike would get rid of the bouts of pain that hit him sometimes, or not.

"So what? I'll have them for the rest of my life?!" Mike had exclaimed.

"Not necessary for the rest of your life, but it might be years, or it might be gone tomorrow."

Mike who had been in a bad mood swore quite rudely to that, not happy with the vague answers. He stubbornly kept quiet for the rest of the meeting, not even answering when he was asked a direct question. Harvey had to cover for him, by answering for him.

"There's no need to be that rude." He scolded Mike afterwards.

"Shut up." Mike muttered to him, and Harvey rolled his eyes.

"Are you in pain now or what's with you?"

"No."

"You're a pain in my ass that's for sure."

"Funny."

When they got home Mike had disappeared to his room for a couple of hours, but then came out into the living room and had joined Harvey on the couch. They talked a bit about the hospital visit then.

"I just wish they could tell me that it will end in a certain period. I'm just so tired of my life being like a roller coaster of good and bad days. I want an end date." Mike had told him.

Harvey had shrugged. "The good days are starting to win over the bad days. We will continue to take it one day at the time Mike. You're getting better day by day, that's what matters."

Mike rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"And by the way" Harvey said, "Don't talk about end dates, that's stupid."

Today had been a bad day, but tomorrow would be better. Harvey would make sure it was.

-SUITS-