Hello! Welcome to another lil funny oneshot! I don't own characters or respond to emails. Also feel free to request any stories you want, as long as I know the anime its about. Plz enjoy!!

Today in the realm of demons, the Infinity Castle, was a very special day. It was the 3rd of June. Aka... Muzan Kibutsuji's birthday. While their boss was out pretending to be a human as he sometimes did, the upper ranks were panicked. They had utterly forgotten about Muzan's birthday. And most importantly, would Muzan punish them for not getting him anything?

"Lord Muzan will be so very unhappy with uuussss..." Hatengu cried, covering his face with his shaking hands.

"C'mon... we gotta think of sooomething...Right Akaza-dono?" Doma teased.

"I told you to shut up!" Akaza barked.

"Gooshh, no need to be so angry..." Doma crossed his arms and pouted.

"You all. Focus" Kokushibo glared them all down. "First off, we have to figure out what present we're getting. And someone make a cake or someting." He said sternly, although talking about a birthday party.

"Ooh! Me and Akaza-dono will help make the cake!" Doma grabbed Akaza's hand. "C'mon, Ak-"

Akaza jerked his hand, slicing Doma's hand clean off. "I am NOT partnering with you!"

"awww.." Doma watched as his hand regenerated. "You're no fun"

Gyokko suddenly burst out of his pot. "Yes, yes yes! I've got it! The perfect gift for lord Muzan!" He made another pot, pulling out a demon slayer corps member's corpse, with decorated pots on his hands, legs, and head. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"We would never give lord Muzan that crap!" Akaza glared at it. "It's hidious, anyway"

"WHAAAAT?!" Gyokko rose up in anger. "How dare you-"

"EVERYONE!!" Kokushibo shouted, silencing everyone. "Can you not stay focused for a single minute?! Lord Muzan will be back in a few hours! We've done NOTHING!!"

A tense akward silence filled the room. Everyone thought someone else would say something, so no one said anything.

"Hey, lord Kokushibo? Can you lick your bottom eyes?" Doma asked after a solid 12 missasippi pause.

A wave of pure anger flowed thoughout the room. "Doma STFU. I, Nakime, and Gyokko will decide on a present, Akaza, Hantengu, and Doma will make the cake."

"-gasp- Akaza-donooo! We do get to partner uuuupp!" Doma put his hand around Akaza's shoulders. "Isn't that wonderful?!"

After Doma's hand flew off and Kokushibo yelled at them again, Nakime transported the designated cake makers to the kitchen.

"Sooo... what will it be..." Doma opened the cabnets. "Chocolate... Vanilla... Peanut butter...hmm.."

"Just hurry up and pick one!" Akaza roared.

"Ooh! Confetti Vanilla! Should we-"

Akaza ripped the box out of his hands. He then whipped out a mixing bowl and poured the cake mix in.

"Wow Akaza-dono... I didn't know you were a chef... You should open a bakery. You could make donuts, cupca-"

"Doma if you don't shut up I'll rip your face off" Akaza blended together the mix. "Hatengu get 2 eggs"

"Yes lord Akaza! right away!"

"Lord Muzan would be quite mad if you ripped my poor face off... wouldn't he?" Doma sat up on the counter.

"Doma I swear-"

"AH!" Hatengu's shaky hands dropped the eggs. "I'm sorry I'm so sorry I'm sorry!! These hands!Ah-hah-hah!! I'm so sorry!" He wept. Those were the only eggs we haaad!!"

"Aww. what a pity... Well, I'm sure we can just subsitute with more water, right?" Doma looked over. "Right Chef Akaza-dono?"

"Are we certian Lord Muzan doesn't want this spendid work of art?" Gyokko asked

"Yes." Kokushibo sighed. "For the 80th time."

"We could capture him a hashira! Then I can make art out of it!"

"Lord Muzan will be back in a couple hours. Fighting a hashira will take longer than that"

"oooh! I've got it! I could give him a goldfish sidekick!"

"What "

"Like a bodygaurd! A pet goldfish!!"

Kokushibo stared at him.

"No one around here reapects true art"

"Dammit Hatengu!!" Akaza shouted as the oven bursted in flames.

"Ahhh I'm so soorrryyy!!" He weeped.

They took out the 'cake'. It was a roundish burnt lump that looked more like a rock than anything edible.

"Aaand cover it with frosting!!" Doma smeared frosting over and around it, then throwing sprinkles on it. "There! We make a pretty good team, don't we Akaza-donooo?"

Akaza, too annoyed to say anything, ignored him. "how old is lord Muzan"

"I think he's 1054..." Hatengu whimpered. "Or is it 1055... Im so sorry!!"

Akaza sighed, putting 1055 candles all over the 'cake' until it was a spike ball of pure candles.

With that, they headed back to where the others were, holding the cake tray.

"What present did you get?!" Doma ran up ahead.

Gyokko crossed his many arms and pouted.

"We got him a Spotify subscription." Kokushibo answered. "Lord Muzan likes listening to musical artists"

"Aaahh I seee..." Doma said. "Well, Me and Akaza-dono made the cake!"

So, they all waited until Muzan arrived, and presented the present and cake. He accepted the subscription, but stared at the cake in utter disgust and confusion.

"You all eat that" He said, dissapearing to his room.

"Hmm..." Doma wondered. "Maybe he would've liked chocolate instead..."