Charlie had never felt so humiliated in her life. She sat in her seat and curled into herself. Once again, her ideas were dismissed, mocked, ridiculed. No one was willing to see the good in themselves. The demons were content to wallow in suffering, violence, and cruelty until the end of their afterlives. Tears were already threatening to spill from her yellow eyes, but she held them in.
Maybe her father was right. What if she really was a failure, like everyone said?
As if reading her mind, Vaggie gave her a small hug. "You're not a failure, Charlie. It's just…no one understands your ideas. People think they're…I don't know…outlandish?"
She got a sad sigh from Charlie in response. "I just wanted to make things better for my people. I know I don't feel much like a princess, but at the same time…I feel like it's my duty…my destiny to being some cheer to this place."
"Heh. No one can ever top your optimism," Vaggie mentioned, with a playful roll of her orange eye. "Your happiness can be spotted miles away."
A small smile formed on Charlie's face. "Well, at least I can pull myself up and keep going…"
Vaggie stared, hopeful…
"…But today isn't one of those days."
Vaggie slumped slightly. "I did warn you not to sing."
"I couldn't help it," she countered. "How else was I supposed to get my message across?"
"Not everyone likes singing and music all the time."
"My family does."
"But the other demons aren't your family."
Charlie stared out the window at the buildings whizzing by. "Sometimes I feel like my family is bigger than just my parents." She turned to look at her girlfriend. "You're my best friend, sorta like my sister…and the only one who seems to get me. You're part of my family already."
Vaggie chuckled softly. "Without me, you wouldn't have lasted very long out in the big world."
"For once, I agree with you there," Charlie replied.
During several minutes of silence, the two demon girls locked hands just out of sight. It was their habitual way of showing comfort, and it worked on the many days when Vaggie didn't want any hugs.
"Don't get too discouraged," Vaggie said. "We'll get back to the hotel and figure things out from there."
"I kinda feel like singing another lament now."
"Please don't."
"Fine."
The limo drove past the 666 Shop, the Nightmare Night Club, and an Evil Donuts store, complete with slime and worms displayed on the donut structure. Pink eyes decorated the ceiling of the car. Charlie curled into herself again and took a puff of breath. Even the painted eyes seemed to judge her every move. She glanced over at Vaggie, whose eye was twitching in annoyance.
Angel Dust was busy playing with the button, making the car window go up and down, up and down. He froze when he saw an angry Vaggie staring at him.
"What?" Angel Dust asked with a shrug.
"What? What?!" Vaggie shouted, pulling out chunks of her long white hair. "What were you doing?!"
Angel Dust sighed. "Aw come on! I owed my girl buddy a solid! Isn't that a 'redeeming quality?' Helping friends with stuff?"
"Not with turf wars that result in mass murder and destruction!" Vaggie replied.
"Eh, you win some, you lose a few hundred," he said with a snicker. "It wasn't that bad anyway."
He propped up his long legs and pushed the window button again. Vaggie tossed a dagger at the button, and it fizzed out in a shower of sparks. Angel Dust stared, shocked and terrified. Vaggie growled in warning.
"Aw come on, I had to!" Angel Dust protested. "My credibility was on the line!" He sighed. "I mean what kind of reputation would I have of people found out I was trying to go clean? It just throws out my entire persona." He lifted up his furry chest for emphasis.
"Your credibility?" Vaggie asked in anger. "What about the hotel? Your little stunt made us look like a fucking joke!"
"No, no no, babe. Jokes are funny! I made you look…uh, sad. And pathetic! Like an orphan, with no arms. Or legs. Uh…oh with progeria!" Charlie covered her face with her hair as Angel Dust blabbered on.
"Great! Now I'm bummed just thinking about it! This thing have any liquor?" He bent down to the floor and tossed a bottle aside. He then flicked a wrapper away onto a seat.
Vaggie was fuming. "Can you please just try to take this seriously?"
"Fine, I'll try. Just don't get your taco in a twist, baby."
Vaggie stood up with hands on her hips. "Was that you trying to be sexist or racist?"
"Whatever pisses you off more. Is there seriously no liquor in here?"
"I'm gonna kill him," Vaggie swore, crossing her arms and sitting back down.
"Too, late, toots. Wait, would that make me double dead?" He laughed slowly and loudly. "And where exactly do I go? To double Hell?"
He laughed again. "You're stuck with me, bitch. Get used to it."
Vaggie swore in Spanish. "Eat shit, bastard."
"Listen, who cares if some jagoffs got hurt?" Angel Dust nonchalantly asked. "Most of them are ugly freaks. Look around! Got a bunch of fuckin' harlequin babies down there."
"You're one to talk," Vaggie muttered with a small smirk.
Angel Dust then yelled "Hey!" in protest. "This body is flawless! Everyone wants some of me and I've got the creepy fan letters to prove it!"
He pulled out a dirty piece of paper from his chest that read: "Show me your feet! Brandon. #1 fan/critic." There was a picture of a young Angel Dust in the lap of a naked fat green man, licking Angel Dust with his green tongue. He had a tattoo of Angel Dust with a red crossed out sign.
This time, Charlie spoke up. "That was really uncool, ya know, Angel."
Vaggie growled and turned to her friend. "Uncool?!" She mentioned to Angel Dust. "After that train-wreck, there is no way anyone is gonna wanna stay at the hotel." She turned to the spider. "All thanks to you and your selfish bullshit!"
Angel Dust glanced at a discarded pile of ash and used cigarettes. "Does this mean I don't get a free room anymore?"
Vaggie spread out her hands as if asking "Well, what do you think?"
He let out a mock sigh and snap. "Ah, well, shucks."
Charlie pulled off her dark pink jacket, revealing a white shirt with a black bowtie.
"Hey, come on, we don't know if things are over yet. Try to relax, Vaggie. It'll be okay!"
Now it was Vaggie's turn to let out a small smile of thanks. Charlie placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, and her friend calmed down.
"What would I do without you?" Vaggie asked. She and Charlie slowly leaned into each other, their heads gently touching.
"Get a room, girls!" Angel Dust remarked, before receiving a "Shut up!" from both of them.
Finally, the crew arrived at the Happy Hotel. It was a good enough building fit for any demon who wanted to stay a few nights. Eye catching on the outside, but messy on the inside. Eye designs lined the border of a dark pink circus canopy at the front like a creepy mosaic. Branches jutted out from the roof as part of the structure. Old fashioned lanterns attached to the wall had flames flickering inside, nonstop. The double doors consisted of stained-glass windows with red apples in the center. Little stained glass snake eyes peered unblinkingly at them from around the larger window in the door.
Angel Dust, Vaggie, and Charlie got out of the car and threw open the double doors. A random black bug scurried away from the incoming light. A yellow sign read "Concierge" behind a pink "welcome" banner. The check in table was decorated with colored flags leaning toward the floor and random balloons with small star shapes on them. A vase was decorated with yellow eyes along the sides. Another flowerpot was in the shape of a human mouth…white flowers posed above. Vaggie sighed and plopped onto a red cushioned couch in the style of a monster's mouth.
The red rug down the hallway was decorated with the same eyeball designs, apples on the end, plus shadow skulls of horned monsters in the center.
All around the room were pictures of Charlie as a little girl with her father and mother on various trips. One picture showed her and Vaggie in front of a castle at Loo-Loo World, Hells' version of Disney World.
Angel Dust came across a red fridge leaning low against the wall. He opened the door and pulled out a purple box labeled "Popsies." He shrugged at the dripping ruined box and took out a popsicle. He gave it a lick.
"It's prolly a good idea to get some actual food in this place. Y'know, to feed all the wayward souls ya got in here." He laughed nervously, trying to cheer Charlie up. But Charlie just sat sadly on a wooden box in a darkened area of the room. Angel Dust closed the fridge door, sucked on a popsicle and reached out one of his arms to her…then hesitated. He walked away, letting Charlie have some alone time.
Charlie walked past the two posing elephant statues balancing balls on their trunks, and toward the front door. She opened the door and went outside. Holding out her purple cell phone, (or "Hell Phone, hah, get it?") she pressed an icon with the word "Mom" decorated with horns and pointed tails on the m's.
Charlie took a deep breath as a voicemail tone came through.
"Hey Mom. Um, I know I keep calling, and you must be busy. Really busy. But, um…the interview didn't go well and…I don't know if I'm going to make a difference. I don't know what I'm doing. I could really use some advice, Mom."
She slid down and sat on the stone ground, tears falling from her eyes. She wiped some away with her arm. "I think Dad was…right about me. A-anyway, I'll stop talking before this gets too long. Love you! Bye."
She ended the call with a tap and rubbed her eyes with her hand. Standing back up, she opened the door, closed it, and leaned against the stained-glass window, eyes closed.
What was she supposed to do now?
0 0 0
A slow ominous knocking from outside interrupted Charlie's thoughts. She opened her eyes.
An ice cold feeling of dread spread through her veins. She tentatively reached out her hand to the door handle and quickly pulled it open.
Charlie could already see the infamous Radio Demon Alastor in her mind. He was an intimidating figure who wore a red torn tailcoat with vertical pink stripes, a black bowtie with a red center and a red undershirt with an upside down black cross design. He had red long sleeves, black gloves with red tips, and a red monocle near his right eye. His hair was red and black, with thick deer ears pointing up. Small black deer horns curved upwards from the center of his head. His black shoes had red deer tracks on the bottom. In his left hand was his magic red old-fashioned radio microphone with a red eye in the center. His eyes were many shades of crimson.
'Why would he come all the way here after so long?' she thought.
Charlie slowly reached forward and opened the door. Her eyes turned wide with fear as she stared at him.
"Hel…"
Charlie slammed the door in his face.
She opened it.
"…llo!"
She slammed it again. "Hey Vaggie!"
"What?" Vaggie aske din annoyance, hand over her forehead.
Charlie mimicked a wide smile. "The Radio Demon is at the door!"
"What?!" she barked.
"Who?" asked Angel Dust, popping his popsicle from his mouth.
"What should I do?!" Charlie asked in a panic, her hands pulling her eyelids.
"Well, don't let him in!" Vaggie answered as Angel Dust sucked on his popsicle.
Charlie turned back toward the door…
…and Alastor was standing right in front of her!
"He's already in!" Charlie cried.
"What?!" Vaggie asked again. She stood up and headed off to retrieve her spear.
"Hello there, my dear!" Alastor grinned at Charlie. He held out his hand. "I'm Alastor! Very nice to meet you! You must be Princess Charlie, right?"
"Y-yes?" Charlie blinked as she shook his hand. "H-how did you…?"
"Teleportation is one of my many powers," Alastor added. "Now I hope you don't mind if I stay here a while. This hotel looks pretty nice…"
Vaggie aimed her spear at his chest. "Stop right there!" She swore in Spanish. "Rabies son of a bitch! I know your game! And I am not gonna let you hurt anyone else here! You cheesy pompous talk show…"
Vaggie was interrupted by an ominous "Shave and a Haircut" knock at the door.
Knock, Knock-knock-knock-knock. Knock Knock.
Charlie gulped.
"Urgh! What now?!" Vaggie groaned.
Charlie opened the door…
…and there stood Alastor!
"Hello!"
Charlie yelped and slammed the door. "V-Vaggie! Alastor's at the door!"
Vaggie stammered. "No, Charlie. He's right here!"
Alastor waved.
Charlie took a breath and opened the door.
"May I speak now?" asked Alastor.
"You may," Charlie began.
Alastor roughly took her hand. "Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you sweetheart, quite a pleasure!" He wandered into the hall. "Excuse my sudden visit, but I just saw your fiasco on a picture show, and I just couldn't resist!" Claps came from his microphone. "What a performance!" He briefly lifted up his arms. "Why I haven't been that entertained since the Stock Market Crash of 1929! Hahahaha! So many orphans!"
"Alright, Alastor!" Vaggie spat as she aimed her spear at him. "I don't know what game you're playing, having a double of you, but this needs to stop!"
Alastor peered over to the other Alastor with a puzzled look.
"And what's the big idea, other me?" he asked.
The other Alastor smiled. "Why I heard about Charlie's hotel too, and decided I'd come check it out. Surely there's nothing wrong with that?"
Angel Dust came into the room and froze with his jaw open.
"Two strawberry pimps?"
Vaggie, Charlie and the Alastors glared at him.
Angel Dust shrugged. "Just sayin' what he looks like."
Charlie steered Angel Dust down the hall. "I think we should let Vaggie figure things out from here."
Vaggie folded her arms. "We cannot have two Radio Demons in this hotel." She moved her finger back and forth. "One of you is a fake. Who is it?"
"Him!" the two Alastors pointed at each other.
Vaggie briefly looked backwards, but her girlfriend wasn't around. She turned back to the two Alastors.
Vaggie facepalmed. "Alright. Quiz time. Place of birth?"
"New Orleans!" they both stated.
"Favorite food?"
"Jambalaya!"
"Cause of your death?"
"Gunshot to the head!"
"What is your purpose here?"
"We want to help Charlie with the hotel!" they both said.
"Tell the truth, assholes!" she demanded.
A pause.
"I want to watch Sinners struggle to climb the hill of betterment, only to repeatedly trip and tumble into the fiery pit of failure," mused Alastor, his eyes glowing red and an evil grin appearing on his face.
"Sinners are incredibly tasty," grinned the second Alastor. "I can't wait to bring out their insecurities and watch her hotel fall apart!"
Vaggie groaned. "This isn't working! I still can't tell you guys apart!"
She aimed her spear again. "You will not hurt anyone inside this hotel, understand?"
Alastor nudged her spear away with a finger. "Dear if I wanted to hurt anyone here…"
He spoke in a demonic tone. "I would've done so already…"
Red Voodoo symbols flashed in the background and static warped reality as his eyes briefly turned black with red pupils. His neck was tilted to the side and his grin was unusually wide.
After a moment, the setting appeared back to normal and so did Alastor's eyes.
Alastor spoke up. "I'd love to come help the princess at this tacky old hotel. But only if this imposter bloke here goes on his merry way." He mentioned to his counterpart.
"I agree," said the other Alastor. "You think you're so powerful with your supernatural powers, but we both know you're just a fake."
"No one else can come close to my lust for pure chaos."
"Why do I do what I do? Sheer absolute boredom!"
"I've murdered countless people on Earth and broadcasted their screams on the radio! I bet you don't know how delicious their flesh tastes!"
"I've killed more than you! And I know all about their tasty bodies and their psychology!"
As the Alastors argued, Angel Dust came over to Vaggie.
"Ah, so uh, what's the deal with Smiles over there?" Angel Dust asked Vaggie.
"Wait, you've never heard of him before?" Vaggie asked, surprised. "You've been here longer than me!"
Angel Dust shrugged his shoulders.
"The Radio Demon, one of the most powerful beings Hell has ever seen?" Vaggie asked.
"Eh, I'm not too big on politics," Angel Dust replied.
Vaggie let out an annoyed sigh before leaning in close to explain.
"Decades ago, Alastor manifested in Hell, seemingly overnight. He began to topple Overlords who had been dominant for centuries. That kind of raw power has never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his carnage all throughout Hell, just so everyone could witness his ability. Sinners started calling him The Radio Demon. (As lazy as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world's most ancient and destructive evils. But one thing's for sure: He's an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, the likes of which we cannot risk getting involved with, unless we want to end up erased."
Flashes of Alastor in his full demon form, a giant red wendigo-like being with branching black antlers, glowing red eyes, a long lavender tongue, sharp teeth, and long dark claws, appeared on screen. He grinned as he hovered his claws over the demonic faces of voodoo imps and minions. His dress coat revealed a flaming hole where screaming demons struggled to escape.
"Ya done?" Angel Dust asked with a snicker. "He looks like a strawberry pimp!"
"Well, I don't trust them!" Vaggie seethed.
"You don't trust any man, do you?"
"Get out of my sight!" Vaggie glared. Angel Dust strolled away.
Vaggie held her spear and accidentally cut her finger on her spear. A thin dot of golden blood appeared. She stared at her reflection in her weapon, almost seeing a flash of the angelic warrior she used to be. She blinked and it was just her worried face.
She stared at the cut on her finger.
Blood…
'That's it!'
Without warning, Vaggie walked over to the Alastors.
"Hey!" she called. They paused.
"Cut your hands."
"Why?" asked one of the Alastors.
In a blur, Vaggie moved her spear over Alastor's palm and made a light cut. A thin trail of red blood spilled out.
"How rude," Alastor sneered as the cut healed itself.
"How about we cut off her hair," suggested the other Alastor.
"How about I do this?" the first Alastor suggested, slicing the other Alastor's hand.
The Alastor growled. "Now you're just as rude as her!"
Vaggie gasped. The cut quickly healed, but she could see the blood from the other Alastor's hand. It was black.
Vaggie whirled toward the second Alastor. "You're a Hellborn!" she declared. "Sinners have red blood. You're not a Sinner and you're not Alastor! What do you want from us?"
The second Alastor stepped back. "My dear, it's not about what I want from you…"
He morphed into shadow and spoke in a distorted voice…
"…but what you don't want from me…"
He materialized into his true form just as Charlie and Angel Dust returned.
There stood a slender aquatic demon with dull gray skin and darker spots scattered here and there. He was dressed in a hotel uniform of black shoes, long black pants, a black undershirt and a purple vest. Red sunglasses with sharp yellow trim covering his glowing yellow eyes. He had a thin black pencil mustache, wavy white hair in a combover style, matching colored fins extending from his back and fin-shaped ears.
"Who are you?" Charlie asked, eyes wide.
The infestor demon flashed a wicked grin of sharp teeth from his jutted eel mouth.
"I'm Rolando."
"Well, I'm Alastor," Alastor spoke up, moving over to Charlie and Vaggie. He put his arms around them. "And I'm here to help you run this ridiculous hotel!"
Charlie raised an eyebrow as Alastor stepped back. "Why do you want to help me if you don't believe in my cause?"
"Sheer absolute boredom of course!" Alastor answered, briefly spinning Charlie around. "Watching the Sinners struggle to become better will be quite entertaining for me, my dear."
"Do you really think that a demon can be redeemed?" Charlie asked hopefully.
Alastor laughed and held up a hand. "Oh hoho! No, no, no, no! That's wacky nonsense. They already had their chance when they were alive, and now their eternal punishment is this!" Alastor spread out his arms. "There's no undoing what is done!"
Vaggie folded her arms. "You'd think there'd be more screams and less sin."
Alastor grinned evilly. "Believe me, there are many demons wailing in pain out there, lost in their pathetic miseries, and if needed, I'll happily add to the carnage…"
Vaggie folded her arms and banged the bottom of her spear on the floor. Everyone turned to her. "Well ground rules, first of all. If you guys want to stay here, there will be no murdering, no swearing, no weapons…"
Angel Dust leaned against the wall and pointed at Vaggie's spear.
Vaggie grunted and tossed her spear to the side. "Unless in emergencies. And Angel," she pointed. "No drinking and no drugs in this place. Charlie needs us to be good role models, and we can't do that when they see vices around every corner."
"No promises, tits," Angel Dust smirked.
"I promise to make things work around here," Alastor said to Charlie. He smirked. "Because right now you're like…barely at ground zero."
"Are you sure you're willing to help me? You don't think I'm just some joke?"
"Maybe." Laughter came from his red microphone cane.
"One thing's for sure. We can't have two creeps here," Vaggie added to the two men. "You both need to leave."
Charlie turned to Vaggie. "Hey…uh…can I speak to you for a sec?"
Vaggie's face softened and the ladies headed over to the side.
"Vaggie," Charlie whispered. "Those guys just got here. And Angel, too. Don't you think we should hear them out?"
"Yeah. You don't trust any men at all?" Angel Dust added to Vaggie.
Vaggie ignored him.
Vaggie put her hands on Charlie's shoulders and stared into her eyes. "Charlie, you can't believe this creep. Alastor is a dealmaker, pure evil. There's no doubt he just wants to sabotage everything we're trying to do. And we don't even know anything about Fish Face over there."
They glanced to see Alastor grinning as he curled his fingers. Alastor stared intently at a portrait of Charlie and her parents, Lilith and Lucifer. Rolando stood with his hands behind his back, staring at another picture of Seviathan von Eldritch, Helsa von Eldritch, and their parents standing by Charlie's family. They were a royal family and rivals to Charlie.
Charlie sighed. "Look. I know they both seem bad, and we don't know their true intentions. But I can't just turn them away without giving them a chance. That goes against what this project stands for." Charlie sighed again. "if anything goes wrong, we'll send them on their way, but until then, I think they should be allowed to stay here. Think of how beneficial their powers could be!"
Vaggie stared at Charlie again as Alastor's hand briefly hummed with green magic. "Charlie, whatever you do, do not make a deal with him."
Charlie stood upright. "Don't worry about that, Vaggie. I did learn one thing from my dad."
She marched forward and mimicked her dad's voice. "'Ya don't take shit from other demons.'"
Vaggie watched with a worried look as Charlie slid over to Alastor.
"So, Al," Charlie said. "I know about your fearsome reputation, and how you think my project is a joke…" Charlie turned around.
Red Voodoo symbols briefly appeared behind Alastor and he grinned, but they vanished when Charlie turned back around to face him.
"But I don't. So I'm willing to let you help me, on the condition there will be no creepy dark magic stuff, okay?"
Alastor grinned and spoke with a radio voice. "So, it's a deal then?"
The room briefly turned green as magic blinded the group. Shadows and energy swirled around the room.
Charlie briefly stared at Alastor's hand, then…
"Nope. No magic, no deals," she answered firmly as the room turned back to normal. "Uh um…" she stuttered as Alastor took a step forward.
Charlie tried a different approach. "As princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I hereby order that you help me with this hotel…for a long as you desire?"
A pause.
"Hmm, fair enough," Alastor shrugged as his microphone cane vanished.
Charlie did a double thumbs up as he walked away. "Cool beans."
Alastor turned to look at Vaggie and tickled her under the chin.
"Smile, my dear! You know you're never fully dressed without one!"
Vaggie fumed as Alastor hummed and walked on.
Alastor came over to Charlie. "So where is your hotel staff?"
"Um…" Charlie began. Alastor peered at Vaggie through his monocle. "Hehehh You're gonna need more than that."
He walked over toward Angel Dust who sat on a chair. "And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?"
"I can suck your dick," Angel Dust grinned.
Alastor's eyes went wide in disgust. "Ha! No." He promptly turned away.
"Your loss," Angel Dust finished, pink gloved hand under his chin.
"And what about you, fish man?" Alastor asked Rolando.
Rolando waved his hand, and a short shadow appeared by his side. The shadow vanished upward, revealing a hunchbacked man in a red bellhop uniform and hat. He drooled from his mouth and his eyes bulged. He had white hair and gnarled fingers.
"B-B-bitch…bitch!" he sputtered in a Stitch-accent.
Vaggie, Charlie and Angel Dust glanced down at him in disgust.
"This is Toledo the Igor," Rolando mentioned. "He's my assistant at the One Star Wonder Hotel. Poor thing can't even blink."
Alastor shook his head and summoned his staff.
"Well, this just won't do!" Alastor exclaimed. "I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up!"
Alastor snapped his fingers, and a fire sparked to life in a small circular fireplace. Animal skeletons decorated either side of the wall, fully repaired.
A dark figure plopped down onto the chimney floor.
Alastor walked over and picked up the ashen creature with his hand. A large single yellow eye was revealed. Angel Dust, Vaggie, and Charlie peered at the creature. In a puff of smoke and a squeak, the creature revealed herself. A cute cyclops girl was wearing a dark pink skirt with a poodle on the front, and a white shirt with pink paint stains. Her hair was magenta and short with a streak of yellow. White spots were on the left side of her skirt. Her single yellow eye took up most of her face.
"This little darling is Niffty!" Alastor introduced with a smile, before dropping her. The girl landed on her feet.
"Hi! I'm Niffty!" she greeted with a wave. "It's nice to meet you! It's been a while since I've made new friends!" She laughed slightly as her pupil grew smaller, darting in circles.
"Why are you all women?" she asked. She darted over and lifted Charlie up before putting her down. Vaggie growled, aiming her spear at the newcomer.
"Are there any men here?! I'm sorry, that's rude." She missed the fact that Alastor and Angel Dust were male, for obvious reasons.
"Oh man, this place is filthy!" she exclaimed, running around and lifting up couch cushions. "It really needs a ladies' touch, which is weird, because you're all women, no offence." She chewed on a black spider she found, then rushed toward some stained-glass windows.
She darted around, using a dust ruffle to clean them, removing spider webs. "Oh my gosh, this is awful! No, no, no…Nope!"
Niffty raced around, removing cobwebs, then poked at a piece of a voodoo doll. Well, it was actually a blue beetle doll that Alastor had stabbed with a clothing pin for her to play with. Niffty turned and exclaimed, "Oh my goodness, a dirty rat!" She dashed over, scooped up the dark grey creature and popped it into her mouth rapidly. Rows of her sharp teeth were visible. Strained squeaks mingled with rapid chewing sounds. "I bet there's tons of them under this place, I'll be sure to get more! I can kill dozens of them in a day!"
Alastor looked amused, while the others stared in disbelief.
Meanwhile, at a casino, a cat demon placed a joker, an ace, a 2, and a fourth card down on the table. He had black and white fur, a fluffy chest, wore a black top hat and had red wings with card suits decorated on them. He also had long red eyebrows and wore a large red bow tie.
"Ha!" he declared in triumph. "Read 'em and weep, boys!"
He suddenly felt himself being forcefully pulled out of the room through space and time.
"Full…whoa!"
He ducked as a curtain of red energy surrounded the existing space. Voodoo symbols flashed in the background along with eight yellow eyes, a creepy voodoo skull and a purple skeleton of a worm-like creature. Another voodoo skull with horns appeared for a moment not too far from tan ghost-like spirits with creepy faces and a row of jagged teeth.
The cat demon figured he must have had too much booze to drink.
"…the hell?"
As the images faded, he soon found himself at the hotel bar, not in the previous room at the casino. A large "Come and Play Blackjack" sign took up much of the wall behind him. Most peculiar, the gray wood walls were missing halfway up, replaced by the red themed décor of the hotel. He was sitting in a portion of the casino he was in. It felt like he was in a house with no roof, surrounded by the outside world.
"What the fuck is this?"
He glared at the group and then saw Alastor, pointing an accusing claw.
"You!"
"Ah, Husker, my good friend!" Alastor cheerfully greeted as audience claps came from the microphone. "Glad you could make it!"
Alastor's head briefly had the appearance of large antlers sticking out from either side. When he moved it, it was revealed to be an antler skull with glowing green eyes hanging in the background. Snakes were wrapped around one of the pillars supporting a bar stand. "Big Booze," "Welcome" and "Big Soul" signs were placed overhead on the stand. Neon green card suits consisted of the designs at the bottom of the stand.
"Don't you "Husker" me, you son of a bitch!" Husk spat, swiping Alastor's hand away from his shoulder. "I was about to win the whole damn pot!"
Husk stared in anger as the stacks of money and chips on the table vanished in static.
"Good to see you too!" added Alastor.
Husk face palmed. "What the fuck do you want with me this time?"
Alastor grabbed hold of him in a side hug, startling him so much that cards fell from his hands.
"My friend, I am doing some charity work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that's okay."
Husk was taken aback. "Are you shittin' me?!"
"Hmm. No, I don't think so!" Alastor replied.
Husk shoved the Radio Demon off him, the latter casually dusting off his red sleeves. He puffed up his black and white fur in anger, his cat ears twitching. "You thought it would be some kind of big fuckin' riot just to pull me outta nowhere? You think I'm some kinda fuckin' clown?"
"Maybe," Alastor grinned.
Audience laughter emitted from the microphone.
"I ain't doin' no fuckin' charity job," Husk protested.
Alastor appeared next to him, startling the cat. "Well, I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment."
He pointed toward the bar stand with the staff as clapping was heard again.
"With your charming smile and welcoming energy…"
Alastor spread the corners of Husk's mouth upward into a demonic smile of yellow teeth. Husk frowned seconds after Alastor let go of his mouth.
"…this job was made for you!"
Alastor strutted over toward the bar stand, the soles of his black shoes revealing red hoof prints as he walked.
"Don't worry, my friend," Alastor continued, "I can make this more welcoming…if you wish."
With a curve of his fingers, a green bottle of cheap booze appeared on the counter.
Husk stared with wide eyes, suddenly very thirsty. He swore he could hear the sound of a slot machine.
"What, you think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?!" He took the bottle in anger. "Well you can!"
He immediately guzzled it down and walked away.
"Too easy," thought Alastor.
By this time, Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel Dust had arrived to see what the commotion was about. Vaggie rushed toward the bar, furious.
"Hey, hey, hey, hey!" yelled the moth demon. "No, no bar, no alcohol. This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of…brothel, man-cave!"
Angel Dust lunged himself into her, knocking her to the floor.
"Shut up! Shut! Up! We are keeping this." He pointed at Husk with multiple gloved fingers.
He slid up to Husk. "Hey," he said in a flirtatious voice.
"Go fuck yourself," Husk deadpanned, drinking his booze.
"Only if you watch me," Angel Dust retorted, with a sway of his butt and hips.
To make matters worse for Husk, Charlie leaned in close to him, excitement and red stars in her eyes.
"Oh my gosh! Welcome to the Happy Hotel! You are going to love it here!"
"I lost the ability to love years ago," Husk replied, gulping down more booze.
Alastor walked in, an ever-present grin on his face.
"So, what do you think?"
Charlie ran over to him. "This is amazing!" she beamed, rubbing her cheeks. Alastor blinked rapidly in appreciation.
"It's okay," Vaggie grumbled from nearby, arms crossed.
Alastor laughed and pulled the two girls close to him. "This is going to be very entertaining!" His laughter was mixed with old radio sounds and static.
Alastor conjured fire in his hand…Charlie stared in wonder at the flames and the Voodoo symbols. He pushed Vaggie aside and changed his attire.
He soon wore a fancy red suit with a white undershirt and a black bow tie. A red top hat appeared on his head, complete with small spikes along the black band and two needles sticking out from the top. He twirled Charlie around in a dance, the princess looking stunned. Pointing his finger over her head, he transformed Charlie's outfit. Her blonde hair was now short and wavy. She wore an elegant black and pink dress, black gloves, a pink hat with a small black bow and black heels. She looked like a dapper lady from the early 20th century. The bottom half of her dress was pink, while her round hat was mostly the same color.
Charlie stared at her conjured clothing in amazement.
Vaggie was on the floor, fuming.
Alastor picked Charlie up and threw her into the air. She yelped in delight and landed gracefully next to him. Two glowing apples and a skull with deer horns flashed in the background.
Reality had been altered to the Radio Demon's liking. The entire room was lit in psychedelic colors. Voodoo symbols and shapes were etched in every nook and cranny, including a pair of pink claws reaching for the door. Alastor and Charlie waltzed in the spotlight as electro swing music began to play in the distance. The all-encompassing noise, though, was the signature radio-static sound.
Alastor sang his reprise to Charlie:
"You have a dream
You wish to tell
And it's so laughable
But hey kid, what the hell!"
Charlie found herself sliding down what was the staircase moments ago. Alastor led the way as they held hands. They landed on the lower floor as Alastor continued his reprise. Deer statues and painted antlers were everywhere.
Back at the bar stand, Husk sat looking bored. Vaggie hissed at Angel Dust grabbing onto her shoulder, while Niffty stared in wonder. Alastor snapped his fingers and their outfits changed as well.
Angel was wearing a neon pink suit, Husk a pink bow tie, Vaggie a dark dress, with her hair now smooth and long, and finally Niffty, with a dress and a cute top hat with small flowers.
"'Cause you're one of a kind
A charming demon belle!
Now let's give these burning fools a place to dwell
(Take it, boys!)"
Alastor snapped his fingers once more and shadowy imps rose to life from a hole in the ground. The happy spirits played a trumpet, a tuba, and a drum set. Charlie snapped her fingers to the beat, while Vaggie watched with worry. She reached out to her friend but was pulled away by Alastor. He enveloped the group into a tight hug, followed by glowing images of dark spirits staring at them. While Husk, Vaggie and Angel Dust looked on in terror, Niffty watched in amazement, like she had seen it all before.
Alastor pulled Husk and Angel Dust close again. He rubbed Angel Dust's head with a white hat and went on his merry way. He pulled a strand from one of Husk's red eyebrows. Husk flipped him the bird as he left.
Vaggie stood, annoyed in the spotlight. Using his cane, Alastor added a feathered peacock hat and a white fox fur scarf to her outfit. Then out of nowhere, he slapped her butt.
'Pompous pervert!' Vaggie thought in rage as he wandered away with a smirk, throwing down her hat.
Alastor danced some more, kicking a horned skull to the side. In the background, Niffy happily swept up the bits of bone.
"Inside of every demon is a lost cause
But we'll dress 'em up now with just a smile!
(With a smile!)
And we'll chlorinate this cesspool
With some old redemption flair
And show these simpletons some proper class and style!
(What's in style? Oh!)"
He made his way to the circular fireplace, where he waved his staff. Shadows arrived to join the party, including a shadowy version of himself, with large antlers and fangs: Rotsala. The shadow grinned a blue grin at him, before making it disappear in a poof. He then led Charlie in an upbeat dance, spinning her around, helping her match her steps to his. Their noses almost touched. Charlie blushed when he toyed with her cheeks. As Charlie was led away, Vaggie stood in the background, horrified and disgusted. What was happening to her friend?
Charlie and Alastor laughed as they danced, the princess locked in a happy trance. She could almost see the sparkling romantic themed bubbles in the background.
"Here below the ground
I'm sure your plan is sound!
They'll spend a little time
Down at this Hazbin Ho…"
Alastor was about to finish his song, when an explosion burst apart a window behind him. The force caused the door to blow off and fly straight into little Niffty's face, sending her flying back. "Ow! I'm okay!" she called from a distance.
Soon the colors were back to normal and so were everyone's outfits. The group peered out from the hole, Alastor craning his neck. The group went out onto the path and spotted a flying blimp. Sir Pentious poked his head out from an opening in the ship, fangs bared.
"Ha!" the snake inventor laughed. "Well, well, well, look who it is harboring the striped freak!" he called, mentioning to the white spider demon. "We meet again, Alastor!"
Alastor merely asked with a smug look, "Do I know you?"
Sir Pentious' face fell before he grew angry. "Oh yes you do!" He slithered back into his seat. "And this time I have the element of…surprise!"
He pulled a lever and a cannon lowered to the ground.
"I'm so evil!" he declared with maniacal laughter as the cannon fired up.
Alastor snapped his fingers, red tendrils of smoke rising from his hand. The weapon froze in mid fire and a fiery portal opened up below the blimp. Pink smoke filled the air.
A horde of black tendrils rose from the hole, latching onto the ship. One tentacle ripped off the cannon and threw it into another smaller portal, causing it to explode in pink smoke. One of the tentacles had already smashed a hole in the large round window.
Sir Pentious looked on in shock as his Egg Boiz slammed against the wall (one of them read #Ouch.) One of the eggs cracked open, spilling out yellowish brains and small organs among the stains of yolk. Sir Pentious and another minion were thrown against the wall.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" he screamed before he was slammed against the ceiling by a black limb.
"Ow, that hurt!" he cried.
Sir Pentious screamed as he was forcefully dragged along the floor and lifted up slightly. He was held in place, surrounded by the wrapped up tendril. At once, the tendril shrunk and squeezed the helpless snake. The Egg Boiz ran around frantically.
From the outside, more black tendrils were closing in. Red voodoo symbols appeared around the blimp.
Four horned shadowy spirits with red auras floated around, wearing toothy grins.
The tendrils were now wrapped around the entire blimp, holding it in place like thick black vines.
Red radio waves filled Alastor's eyes as he curled his fingers inward. The sky vanished, replaced with red. Hovering red voodoo symbols appeared all around him as he altered the state of reality. Radio static consumed the air.
The vines thickened and completely enclosed the blimp. The spirits swooped around it in excitement, with echoing shrieks. The aura around the tendrils glowed a fiery yellow, the same color as the portal rim.
Alastor closed his four-fingered hand which began to glow. A red drop of blood fell from his glowing hand. The tendrils proceeded to crush the blimp. Pink rays of light shot from the center and the blimp exploded in a loud BOOM!
Pink smoke spread everywhere as the spirits sped away. The tendrils broke into severed bloody pieces that rained down to the ground. Alastor smiled victoriously, while behind them, the group of five stared in utter terror and shock. (Save for Niffty who had a small smile on her face).
"Well, I'm starved!" Alastor exclaimed, turning around to face the group. Who wants some jambalaya?" He spread his arms out before leading the way back to the hotel. "My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for jambalaya! In fact, it nearly killed her!"
He laughed. "You could say the kick was straight out of Hell!" he added while laughing at his own joke. "Oh, I'm on a roll!"
The others followed him back.
Charlie and Niffty smiled while Husk, Angel Dust, and Vaggie looked on with concern. Niffty scurried around Alastor with a look of admiration. Angel Dust blew Husk a kiss, which earned the druggie demon a glare from the gambler. Charlie turned to Vaggie excitedly. Vaggie reluctantly went along with Charlie's idea, even giving her a small supporting smile. As long as Charlie was happy, then Vaggie was alright, too.
From up above, the hotel looked like a mashed-up haunted house. An old dark train was perched on a balcony, with some monstrous faces carved in. A ship, reminiscent of the Titanic, was leaning upwards against the building as part of the structure. An old carousel served as part of the upper balcony and windows. Skull designs decorated the small windows in a row. Finally, on top of a giant yellow eye, was the sign "Happy Hotel" supported by pillars of worn wood.
Alastor continued, "Yes sir! This is the start of some real changes down here! The game is set! Now…"
He glanced up and pointed his finger toward the sign. Pink electricity shot out and made contact with the sign.
The sign now read "Hazbin Hotel."
"Stay tuned," he finished with a low sinister laugh.
"'Hazbin Hotel?' Personally, I prefer 'Hazbin Wonder'," added Rolando. "'Where it's no wonder we're all has-beens!'"
"It's called the 'Happy Hotel,'" Charlie said to Alastor and Rolando.
"Why is the fish still here?" Vaggie asked.
Alastor shrugged.
Back at the crater, smoke took the faces of demons and rose into the air. Broken egg minions littered the ground. One minion rubbed his head. With a shaking arm, Sir Pentious lifted himself up from the gaping hole, fangs shattered, eye swollen.
"Now will you shoot me with your ray gun?" asked the minion.
Sir Pentious face-planted on the ground in response.
0 0 0
Charlie frantically paced back and forth in the parlor in front of her crew. Vaggie looked at her girlfriend with concern, Angel Dust scrolled on his phone, and Alastor looked bored.
"Okay. So the Extermination is coming in six months instead of a year. No big deal. Just a little setback. Nothing we can't handle. Just angels cutting our timetable in half. But who needs a whole year to save souls? Am I right? And next time when they cut the time in half again, and again, we'll just handle it, right?!"
Vaggie steadied her panicking girlfriend, grabbing hold of her arms. "Yes. We will."
"Oh please," Angel Dust scoffed from the couch. He scrolled through his cell phone with a spider web cover on it. "Ya had less than half a chance when you started this salvation bullshit. And now…" His phone vibrated. "…ain't no silver lining this time, toots."
Angel Dust scrolled down as he read messages from Valentino:
"SO I'M THINKIN. YOU AND THREE HUGE GUYS ARE GETTING IT ON AND IT'S REALLY HOT AND OILY AND THEN ITS REVEALED YOUR ON A BOAT AND IT'S SINKING SO YOU ALL HAVE TO CUM AS FAST AS YOU CAN."
"HAVE YOU SEEN TEMPERATURE PLAY VIDS? LOL CAUSE THERE IS GONNA BE ICE!"
"SO GET THAT FLAT BONEY ASS TO THE STUDIO BABY – AS YOU CAN SEE, THE IDEAS ARE FLOWING."
"HAHA SO IT'S BEEN THIRTY SECONDS…DON'T BE LIKE THIS BABY."
"THIS ISN'T CUTE, ANGEL, LEGIT I'M SO BORED OF THIS LITTLE CAT AND MOUSE CHASE."
"FR OVER IT!"
"FUKIN BITCH! BABE. ANGEL, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?"
"Sure there is!" Charlie breathed, trying to stay hopeful. "We just…have to look a little harder for it!"
"Well, while you're lookin'," said Angel Dust. "…the rest'a Hell's goin' nuts. People are already freakin' out about the news. Look at what's happenin' in the Doomsday District."
Angel Dust showed a video of a male demon wearing a hat who was screaming as flames roared in the background. "New Message From Valentino" popped up at the top of his screen in pink.
"Err, what is a Donkey Show?" asked a puzzled Charlie.
"Aah, heh, nothin'," Angel Dust said, pulling back his cell phone. "My boss Val is just freaked out about the news, too. Like I said, everyone's losin' their shit."
"Yeah, that's true," Vaggie pondered, putting her fingers to her chin. "Sinners are desperate." She grinned at Charlie. "Maybe desperate enough to try anything to escape the Extermination?"
Charlie gasped as an idea came to her. "This is the perfect time to recruit more Sinners for the hotel! The commercial we made should be of great help!"
"Cute idea and all," said Angel Dust, waving his phone, "but you really going to go out in all of this?" On the phone screen, a green-faced aquatic demon wearing a black jacket screamed as his eyes bled and more flames burned.
Charlie began. "Well, it's not like people are just going to show up on our doorstep…"
Charlie screamed and flinched as a sudden blast shook the hotel and created a large gaping hole in the wooden wall by the bar. Outside the hotel, a steampunk black and gold zeppelin blimp hovered menacingly in the air, looking like a large demonic shark with gold sharp teeth. The small eyes were made of pink glass. There were golden windows with moving gears inside the ship. From the large metallic mouth at the front of the blimp were an array of laser guns and weapons pointed at the hotel.
Inside the ship were the Egg Boiz, two-legged egg minions wearing small black top hats and pinstriped suits of gray and yellow with black neckties. The purple walls were in the design of scales near more gears at the windows. Standing high at the controls was none other than the serpent Sinner Sir Pentious. He wore a pinstriped suit with gray and yellow stripes and had a black bowtie in the center. His top hat was large and gray, with a large pink eye and sharp teeth of its own. Steampunk goggles lay on his head. Sir Pentious' eyes were pink, his fangs sharp, his face coal black with a long cobra hood of more pink hypnotic eyes against yellow. The lower half of his body was serpentine with scales of black and gold with more pink eyes.
"Show yourself, Alasssstor!" he demanded, pointing forward. "Come and face…"
He glanced around and saw Alastor casually sipping black coffee from his red mug that read "Oh Deer!" on it. He was relaxing in a chair at a small table on the hotel balcony.
"Oh, there you are," Sir Pentious mentioned. Then he finished in anger, "Face my wrath!" He bared his fangs and hissed. His hood stretched out, revealing his additional pink eyes.
Alastor merely grinned. "Who are you?"
"Who am I? Who am I?! I am the great Ssssir Pentioussss! Inventor, architect of dessstruction! Villain extraordinaire!"
Alastor transformed into shadow and materialized in front of the hotel doors. Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel Dust stood beside him.
"Ooh! You tell 'em, boss!" cheered one of Sir Pentious' egg minions, small fist in the air.
Niffty appeared on Alastor's shoulder. "Oooh, he's a bad boy," she said with a sly grin. Alastor picked her up with one hand and gently placed her on the ground. Alastor shrugged and mocked Sir Pentious. "Ha. Well, if all that's true, you'd think I'd have heard of you."
"I attacked you literally last week!" Sir Pentious reminded him.
Alastor cocked his head.
"We've done battle like twenty times?!" Sir Pentious added.
"Well, you must have been really bad at this," Alastor retorted, twirling his microphone cane.
"Silence!" Sir Pentious yelled. "Now cover! For when I have ssslain you, the almighty Vees will finally acknowledge me as their Overlord equal!"
"Ooh!" Niffty grinned before pausing. "Wait, who are the Vees?"
Alastor waved a hand. "Oh, nobody important. Just a gross moth porn owner, a boxy TV arrogant ass, and a cocky fashion gossip witch."
"Can I meet them?!"
"No."
Niffty's face fell.
"Why do you want to attack us again?" Alastor asked.
"To get revenge on how you defeated me last time! Also to get the Vees approval so I can stay safe from the next Extermination," Sir Pentious mentioned.
"Good luck with that," Alastor said with a smug expression. "Feel free to get defeated again."
"I will not lose again!" Sir Pentious yelled. "Minions, ready the cannons!"
The Egg Boiz aimed the cannons again, but two large black tentacles shot out from the ground in front of Alastor. In a flash they had wrapped around Sir Pentious' zeppelin…again…a third tentacle breaking a lower window. Niffty clapped and enjoyed the show, while Angel Dust, Vaggie, and Charlie watched in concern.
"Argh! Oh! Please! Stop!" Sir Pentious cried from inside.
Alastor chuckled darkly.
"Um…Alastor! I think he's had enough," Charlie mentioned.
Alastor laughed evilly, mouth open, red eyes bulging out.
"Nah, he's got a few more hits in him," Angel Dust countered.
Sir Pentious yelled as he tried to cling onto something on the floor of his ship. The zeppelin tilted downward and with a scream, the snake fell out through a hole in a broken yellow window. He landed with a thud and a faceplant on the ground in front of Alastor, the impact creating cracks in the ground.
Alastor twirled his staff. "Thanks for another forgettable experience." An Egg Boi #23 fell and broke into pieces in front of Charlie.
Sir Pentious' hand twitched. "Thank you…for letting your guard down!"
With his tail, Sir Pentious ripped off a piece of Alastor's red suit. He lifted up his head and held the piece of fabric in triumph. "Haha! Yah!"
Alastor's shadow loomed over him, and Sir Pentious' face fell. "Oh shit…"
Sir Pentious screamed again as Alastor tossed him high into the air with another tentacle. Sir Pentious' zeppelin exploded in green smoke, and he soon vanished into the distance. Alastor grinned as he posed with his cane.
Alastor turned around. "Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor!" He was disgusted at Sir Pentious ruining his fabulous outfit. "Best of luck, chums!" He turned around to leave. Vaggie folded her arms.
"Wait, you're LEAVING?! Alastor! We need your help! We need you to do your job."
"We need a wall," Angel Dust added, mentioning to the hole. Alastor turned around again.
"Of course! Can't let my new project fall into disrepair already. What would the papers say?!" He snapped his fingers and shadow minions materialized before them as he left. A slender horned shadow grinned while holding a saw. A smaller one held a paint brush. One with a white face and black Xs over its eyes flew and carried a bucket. Another one held a hammer, paint roller, and bucket, and wore a hard hat. Another one also wore a hard hat and floated in the air. The largest one posed with his hands on his hips, one X over his right eye with a small black top hat.
Angel Dust shoved Vaggie aside and swayed as he walked over to the largest muscular demon.
"Hey, sweet cheeks," he giggled. "Whatcha doin' later? I love me a man with a giant…tool."
Vaggie facepalmed before marching over and dragging Angel Dust back inside the hotel.
"Hey!" Angel Dust protested. "I was just gettin' started!"
0 0 0
Before long, the hole in the wall was almost fixed. The shadow demons posed by the wall as Charlie slumped down headfirst onto the couch in exhaustion.
Angel Dust scrolled through his phone. "Sooo, how'd it go?"
Vaggie sighed. "Not a single new recruit."
Angel Dust shrugged. "Yeah well, who would wanna use their last days not fucking and fighting?"
Vaggie heard a knock on the front door. 'Not Alastor again,' she thought. She grabbed her spear and marched toward the door.
Vaggie opened it.
It was Sir Pentious.
Sir Pentious held his hat and titled his head.
"Why hellooo, my dear…"
Sir Pentious was cut off by Vaggie punching him in the face. He covered his face with his hands before tumbling to the rocky ground. Sir Pentious cowered as Vaggie aimed her spear at him.
"Wait, wait, wait!" cried Sir Pentious. "I come in peace." He showed two peace signs with his fingers.
"What are you doing here?" Vaggie asked, suspicious.
"Vaggie, what's the problem?" Charlie asked, appearing in the doorway. She gasped when she saw Sir Pentious. "Oh! Hello again!"
"I didn't come looking for a fight," Sir Pentious said as he stood up. "I heard this hotel was a safe place to stay at for the upcoming Extermination."
"Then why did you attack it…twice?" Vaggie glared.
Sir Pentious folded his arms. "To get back at Alastor, of course!"
"Great job with that," Vaggie replied with sarcasm.
"Look," said Sir Pentious. "I had to endure a long walk all the way back here. I nearly got trampled with all the panic and chaos going on in the streets. I also heard that you're…uh…helping people, people who want to be better?"
Charlie gasped in excitement. "You heard right!" She pulled him over toward the doors. "Welcome to our Home of Healing, our Resort of Restoration, our Inn of…Innovation!"
Angel Dust glared and blocked the entrance. "Are you fucking nuts?! This chump was trying to kill us like literally six hours ago! And now you wanna bring him in here to live with us?!"
"Absolutely!" said Charlie. "This place is about second chances, and who deserves one more than this slithery…slippery…special little man!" She elbowed Sir Pentious and he grinned nervously.
"Aren't you supposed to protect this place?" Angel Dust asked Vaggie.
"Yes, I am," said Vaggie. "Listen to me, Charlie, how many times will we have to watch your people be killed if we don't make headway, defend ourselves right now, and send shady pricks like him away?"
"Please, Vaggie. Give him a chance just this once." Charlie gave Vaggie round puppy-dog eyes, begging her to let Sir Pentious stay. Vaggie sighed and relented.
"I guess he's not much of a threat without the war machine…" Vaggie relented. Sir Pentious lifted his head up in anticipation.
"…or even with the war machine."
Sir Pentious' cobra head flopped down in disappointment.
Charlie hugged Vaggie, lifting her around. "Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" She let go and walked over to Sir Pentious. "Sir Pentious! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!"
"Oh no darling! Thank you! You won't regret this."
Charlie led Sir Pentious into the hotel as Vaggie reluctantly followed. Angel Dust waved his hands dismissively and followed. "Eh, I give you a week, tops."
Charlie led Sir Pentious through the parlor.
"So, this is the bar, and the bartender…"
Charlie did a snapping motion of her fingers toward an unamused Husk holding a bottle.
"This is the curtain…" Charlie mentioned to a pink-red curtain upstairs. She pointed around.
"…and this is the new wall after you broke the last one, heh, and oh! Oh! This is the…"
Vaggie grabbed Charlie's arm. "Babe, you don't have to show him every detail."
"Sorry, I'm just so excited to have our first real guest!"
"Uh, what the Hell am I then?" Angel Dust snapped, shrugging.
Charlie turned to Angel Dust. "Well, you're an important part of our family here, Angel, but you, uhm, uh…"
"Constantly make us look bad, sexually harass the staff, and have literally never once tried to improve?" Vaggie asked Angel Dust bluntly.
"What she means is…" Charlie cut in, "…its' just nice to have someone interested for once."
Angel Dust looked upset after what Vaggie had said.
Niffty played with KeeKee with a string. KeeKee hissed at the sight of Sir Pentious and ran off. Niffty turned around to meet him.
"Over here, we have our maid, Niffty," Charlie introduced.
Niffty gasped in excitement. "The bad boy is back!"
Niffty climbed up and held Sir Pentious' collar. He flinched back as Niffty stared at him with her giant eye and sharp sadistic smile. "Never leave me again!"
"We're 80% sure she's harmless," Charlie mentioned as Niffty got down. "And over here we have…oh!"
Charlie nearly bumped into a familiar figure. "Uh, Alastor! Our gracious facility manager! You've met our newest guest Sir Pentious…hehe…" Charlie backed away nervously.
"Ah yes!" Alastor replied, with narrowed eyes at Sir Pentious. "You're the one who ruined my coat!" His face turned shadowy and his eyes glowed red. He spoke in a sinister tone, "I definitely remember you now."
Sir Pentious gulped in fear.
"Well," Charlie said to Sir Pentious. "I guess this is a great time for your first lesson!" She cleared her throat. "'How to apologize!' The first step to becoming a better person is to admit when you are wrong. Why don't you give it a try?" She urged him forward.
"Yes, uhm…" Sir Pentious cleared his throat. "Mr. uhm, Radio Demon, sir, please forgive me for attacking you and ruining your very lovely coat…uhm, here."
Sir Pentious handed back the small piece of fabric to Alastor. He took it in his hand. "Ah-ho! Not many people have been able to take even this much off me, it must have meant quite a lot to you."
Alastor grinned and burned the piece of fabric in a green flame with his magic. Sir Pentious and Charlie stood stunned. KeeKee watched the commotion, lying on an upstairs gold railing decorated with eye designs.
"Group meeting in twenty minutes!" Charlie called with a clap of her hands. Niffty swept the floor in the background and Husk sat at the bar staring off into space. "Why don't you all get settled in? We'll meet back in the parlor to talk about ourselves."
"What's the point?" Angel Dust grumbled. "Group exercises ain't gonna make us bond any faster."
Vaggie shot him a warning glare. "And neither will your attitude. So if you wanna stay, behave!"
Angel Dust rolled his eyes and swaggered off down the hall.
0 0 0
Sir Pentious glanced around to make sure no one was looking. He stared at his secret watch that Vox had given him. No response yet.
He hoped he would find a way to get his Egg Boiz inside as well as his war blimp. Serious repairs would be needed if he were to go back to his original mission to conquer Pentagram City.
Though, Charlie was unusually nice for a princess of Hell. Giving him a place to stay where he had nowhere to stay except inside his war machine. He pushed aside the thought, already focusing on his new task.
The mission was simple: spy on the people in the hotel and report back to Vox. Vox would then use the recordings to mock the princess on live TV and gain more followers in the process. He hoped he was on the right track. Vox had promised him payment and a patent for one of his more complicated inventions. "Trust us with your investments," Vox had claimed. After the way Alastor had mocked him many times, it would feel satisfying to see the looks on everyone's faces when he would walk out of the hotel as a richer prouder man.
Sir Pentious wondered why Vox didn't just sneak into the hotel to put up security cameras in the dead of night, but still idolizing one of the most powerful Overlords in Hell, he brushed the thought aside.
"So, I see you're trying so desperately not to fail," said a voice.
Sir Pentious moved his snake head from side to side. "Who sssssaid that?"
Sir Pentious blinked, and posing in front of him was none other than Vox.
"V-Vox, sir? How did you get in here?" Sir Pentious whimpered with a gulp.
"Electricity travel," Vox shrugged. "But no matter. Just had to make sure you could actually make it through the door without getting caught."
Sir Pentious bared his fangs in protest. "You think I'm sssstupid? I'll provide you with the best, most embarrassing footage you've ever seen! Charlie will be in tears and her crew will be packing before tomorrow! And then…"
His eyes widened and glinted. "I'll finally…be acknowledged by the mighty Vees?"
Vox smirked, his eyes and teeth glowing teal blue. "We'll see. Do try not to slip up, old man…wouldn't want your pathetic face on the news also, would we?"
"N-no, sir," Sir Pentious slithered back. "I'll g-get started right away."
"Good," Vox grinned. "Trust us with your fate!"
Sir Pentious raced back down the stairs in a panic. Vox chuckled as he slid back into the shadows…his eyes shifting to yellow.
0 0 0
Charlie sat in one of the red chairs in front of the group. Vaggie sat in a chair next to her. On the red couch sat Alastor, Husk, and Niffty. Sir Pentious sat on the floor and Angel Dust leaned against a nearby wall looking bored.
"Welcome to the Happy Hotel, everyone!" Charlie smiled. "In case you don't know, I'm Charlie. It's nice to be in a room with so many incredible Sinners! I can't believe I'm the only Hellborn here! Are we missing anyone?"
Angel Dust looked over to see a man next to him giving him a small smirk.
"Hello, handsome," Angel Dust flirted. "Care to step into the light so I can see your…"
The figure stepped forward.
"You're human?!" Angel Dust gasped.
Everyone turned to look at a tall slender man with a bald head and a strand of dirty blonde hair in a combover style. He wore large square gold-brown sunglasses over his eyes and had a black pencil-thin mustache and a thick black unibrow. He was dressed in a red hotel vest, a light gray undershirt, dark pants and black shoes.
"Oh, hello there," Charlie called. "Almost forgot you were with us, too."
Vaggie stood up. "Hey! What's the big idea, Ronaldo?!"
"Rolando," he corrected. "There's no need to be alarmed, Vagatha."
"That's not my name!" she spat. Charlie put a comforting hand on Vaggie's wrist and she sat down.
Rolando waved a dismissive hand. "Relax. This is just my human disguise. Handsome, isn't it?"
"We all know who you are," Alastor glowered, his big smile masking the annoyance in his eyes. "No need to show off."
"That was a pretty decent hotel commercial you guys aired earlier," Rolando praised. "Do you think anyone will actually come here?"
"No," Alastor snickered, earning him a glare from Vaggie.
"We have to at least try," Vaggie said. "For Charlie's sake. And why are you pretending to be a human?"
"I figured my powers could be useful in…putting our future clients at ease." His sharp wide smile did little to ease Vaggie's suspicions.
"What better way to remind my fellow Sinners about why they're here than to show a little…humanity?"
Charlie pondered. "Hey, you do have a point, Rolando! Pretty much every Sinner can't remember what they used to look like as humans. Perhaps talking about our pasts will help us bond together more."
"No way!" piped up Vaggie, Husk, and Angel Dust at the same time.
Vaggie pointed a finger at Rolando. "First of all, you're not even a Sinner…"
"I most certainly am," Rolando lied. "I am just one of the few around who have similar powers to deer man over there."
Alastor glared and his shadow briefly rose from behind him.
"Plus," he added. "I used to work at a hotel, too. A manager at the front desk. Don't you think that could be helpful toward our project?"
"Yes, of course," Charlie beamed. "We could use all the help we can get."
Alastor scoffed. "I could run this place all on my own with only my underlings. We don't need baldo and his drooling gremlin here, am I right?"
Laughter came from his microphone as Toledo the Igor stared at the glowing red eye in the center of it.
"Frankly, I could do without any of you here," Husk deadpanned. "Especially that spider slut and Alastor."
"Kinky," Angel Dust purred. "Using names now, are we?"
"Shut it."
"Cheer up, old sport," Alastor called to Husk. "I'm gonna need your enthusiasm for the princess' silly little project!"
"I'm here for the free room," said Angel Dust. "And the cat." He winked at Husk who rolled his eyes. "But talking about our pasts? Fuck no."
Charlie held up her hands. "We won't dive too deep, I promise! Just…tell us your names, your interests, and where you used to live on Earth! Easy enough, right?"
Husk grumbled. "Let's get this over with."
"I'll go first," said Charlie. "My name is Charlie Morningstar, daughter of Lucifer and Lilith. I was born and raised here in Hell. I am around 200 years old…"
Everyone's mouths dropped except for Niffty, Vaggie, and Rolando.
"I love singing, drawing, and tap-dancing."
She turned to her girlfriend, Vaggie. "Go ahead."
Vaggie folded her arms. "I'm not going until Fish Face leaves this place."
"Now there's no need for rudeness," Rolando mentioned, waving a hand. "I'm just trying to help your girlfriend with her dream to redeem Sinners. What's wrong with that?"
"You and Alastor are shady troublemakers, that's what!"
"Come on, Vaggie," Charlie said to her. "Remember what I said about giving people a chance?"
"This guy doesn't belong here!"
Rolando sighed and shook his head. "That's disappointing, isn't it, princess? Making me leave? And here I thought she would behave more like…"
Rolando appeared behind Vaggie and whispered into her ear: "…an angel."
Vaggie's face turned pale, and her visible eye grew wide. Her body started to shake slightly.
"Vaggie, are you okay?" Charlie asked, worry etched onto her white face.
Vaggie took a breath. "Y-yes." She looked at Rolando with a mixture of fear, anger, and revulsion.
How the hell did he know that she was a former Exorcist, exiled to Hell by her own kind? If Charlie and the others ever found out…
…Charlie would be heartbroken at being reminded of the loss of her people…and she wouldn't be safe from anyone else.
Rolando vanished.
The room seemed to dim, and faint dark mist appeared. Everyone breathed normally and nothing appeared out of the ordinary.
Vaggie's voice trembled as she spoke. "My name is Vaggie. I was born in El Salvator to a Latina family. I…died of suicide in 2014 after struggling to take care of my family and being a prostitute to pay the bills. I learned martial arts and weapon use early on for self-defense."
Angel Dust looked at Vaggie for the first time with a sort of respect for her story.
Vaggie continued. "I love moths and punk rock, 80's music, Reggaeton, and gothic style. I'm…I'm…an…"
Vaggie flinched and appeared to struggle against an invisible force.
Tears came to Charlie's eyes, and she hugged Vaggie, relaxing her.
"Thank you so much for sharing," said Charlie.
One by one, the others shared their stories and interests in short versions.
"My name is Angel Dust, formerly Anthony. I was born in New York to an Italian mafia family. My father is Henroin, my brother is Arackniss and my twin sister is Molly. I died in 1947 from a drug overdose. I rejected my family business and got into sex work. I've been slaving under Valentino ever since. I love drugs, drinking, BDSM, other guys, money and Italian food."
"I'm Husk. Born in Las Vegas. Worked at a casino and was a war veteran. Died in the 1970s. I like magic shows, smoking, drinking, and gambling."
"Hi! I'm Niffty! I was born in the 1950s to a Japanese family. I worked as a maid all my life, searching for love. When my husband cheated on me, I killed him. Others found out and tossed me into a burning fireplace to die."
Everyone sat silently.
Niffty shrugged. "Guess that explains my immunity to fire. I love sewing, BDSM, cooking, cleaning, murder, and writing lewd fanfiction! And bad boys!"
"My name is Sir Pentious. I was born in London and lived in the 1800s. I was a skilled inventor who profited from the miseries of others and bragged about my accomplishments. I…I was killed by a machine malfunction in 1888…and lost the love of my life. Now I want to live a new life and gain a second chance!"
"You will get a second chance," Charlie assured him.
"Oh, how I'd love to show that pompous Baxter a thing or two!" Sir Pentious added. "He's a mad fishy scientist who made my Egg Boiz. I…I have a thing for Rosie and Cherri Bomb…"
"I'm Alastor! Born in New Orleans in the early 1900s, Creole. I love jambalaya, I loved my mama, my Voodoo family traditions, and I loved hosting my fabulous radio shows. I killed anyone who was a jerk and was good friends with my darling dame Mimzy! I was shot in the head in the 1930s and attacked by dogs. Made a deal with a dark force and here I am! Now I love playing the organ, jazz, black coffee, venison, pineapple on pizza, singing, broadcasting my tunes and eating people!"
Everyone was silent again.
"Good luck trying to get me redeemed!" Alastor said with a mocking laugh at Charlie.
"You are five seconds away from leaving, too!" Vaggie warned.
"Let's…not cause any more conflict," said Charlie.
Charlie then looked around the parlor. "You notice anything…off?"
Vaggie was trying to think clearly. "Where did this strange mist come from? Did…did we just spill our secrets to each other?"
Angel Dust groaned. "I sure hope not."
Charlie waved her hand, and the mist dissipated. The room returned to its usual brightness.
Many of the individuals soon looked embarrassed.
"Did…I really say…?"
"Fuck no, forget anything I may have blurted out!"
"My life was an utter mess! Don't look at me! Don't look at me!"
"Man, that was such a long time ago…"
"I swear, I did not intend to say anything about my shitty ex life!"
"Alastor! You're behind this, aren't you!"
"Not this time!"
Vaggie turned to Rolando who was sitting on another chair.
"What's going on here, freak?"
"Can I share my story now?" Rolando asked.
"Fine," Vaggie grumbled.
Rolando spun his lies, captivating Charlie, Niffty, and Sir Pentious. Everyone else looked on with suspicion.
"I was an ordinary man on Earth, working at my hotel, charming the ladies. But one fateful day…"
A scowl appeared on his face. "A bunch of vile demonic imps invaded the place. They were assassins sent to kill humans on behalf of their clients. I tried to protect my guests from them but…it was too late."
He cried crocodile tears and Charlie gasped softly.
"They killed them…and then they killed me. I've been in Hell ever since, trying to find my way. I miss the ocean. But now…they're after me again! They call themselves I.M.P., a pathetic group. They are determined to slaughter more humans, adding more Sinners into Hell…and more people for the Exorcists to kill."
"That's horrible!" Charlie gasped. "Which is why we must try to stop the annual killings and bring more souls to Heaven to reunite them with their loved ones!"
"I know I haven't been perfect on Earth nor in Hell," Rolando mentioned. "But I'd appreciate it if I had a place to stay…to hide from them. I now realize…if all these guys can redeem themselves…maybe I can too?"
0 0 0
Rolando snarled as he faced off against Blitzo and Millie at the One Star Wonder Hotel pool.
Blitzo and Millie slammed Rolando hard against the wall. He slid down and the crystal hidden in his pocket had cracked.
"You call yourselves assassins? How pathetic," Rolando spat.
"Prepare to get ghostfucked, asshole," Blitzo declared.
"This is for Rita and all the guests you killed!" Millie seethed.
"Let's fry that fucker in the water!" Blitzo cried.
But before Blitzo could send the infestor demon to his watery grave, he reached into his pocket and tapped the crystal. A portal appeared off to the side.
Without hesitation, he raced for it and dived through.
"He's going back to Pride! After him!" Millie called.
Rolando quickly gained speed and vanished.
He caught his breath and stared up at the crimson sky in disappointment.
'This isn't Envy,' he thought. 'I was supposed to go back home.'
He glanced down at his broke crystal. 'Fuck. Those little cretins will scream for death once I get into their minds…'
Rolando searched around for a place to hide. Then he spotted a hotel. A hotel while still dilapidated, appeared to be larger and in better shape than his own.
And…was Hell's princess the manager of it?
'A project to try and save ex-humans, how ridiculous,' he thought. 'Lower Earth brethren get to be immortal in Pride, scum imps get to roam around, but influential infestors and Envians get forgotten! It's no wonder this world is full of idiots.'
Then he moved closer and spotted the Radio Demon strolling toward the establishment.
'What's this…Alastor is his name? This guy has an interesting backstory and incredible powers. Hmm…perhaps I can lay low here at this hotel for a while. I'm sure Queen Leviathan won't mind me sneaking off doing more illegal things. Not like I was even allowed to kill that many people on Earth anyway…oh well.'
He licked his lips as he watched Charlie, Vaggie and Angel Dust enter the hotel in the background. 'Their traumas will certainly get me back to full satisfaction…'
0 0 0
"Oh please," Alastor scoffed to Rolando. "We both know redeeming Sinners is an impossible feat!"
"I know that," Rolando mouthed so no one else could hear. "I'm trying to put her at ease."
"Putting her 'at ease' is my specialty, not yours," Alastor growled, never letting his too-wide smile falter.
"Yes," Rolando turned back to Charlie. "I will do what I can to help you."
"Oh, thank you so much!"
Vaggie face-palmed and groaned, already concerned about Charlie trusting Alastor, Rolando, Angel Dust and many other shady characters.
"Are you sure your dad is okay with your redemption project in general?" he asked.
Charlie looked downcast. "I sure hope so."
"I'm sure you'll be able to prove to him you're not a failure, yes?" Rolando pressed.
Charlie nodded, at a loss for words.
Charlie sighed. "Okay, guys, thank you all for coming. You can go on exploring, but please stay out of trouble. No murdering, drinking, swearing etc."
"No promises," Alastor laughed.