Chapter Four: The First Confession
Uzumaki Naruto slid to his feet and turned to face Kakashi. "Forgive me, Lord Sixth." He passed Genko to Shikamaru. Slowly, he knelt on the familiar green carpet. "Before I begin, I want to apologize to all of you who have supported me and Sasuke over the years. He was so grateful for your forgiveness and acceptance after the Fourth War, and we were both grateful for your continual support. We loved Konoha, and we will always love you. We didn't mean to cause you all this trouble." He placed his hands on the floor and bowed. "Gomen'nasai."
"It's hardly your fault," Kakashi said.
"Nevertheless, those who love us now have to deal with this mess." Naruto rose and knelt again in front of Sarada, Boruto and Himawari. "You all deserve to know the truth. Gomen'nasai. Sasuke-kun and I never wanted to hurt anyone. Trust me, we loved your mothers very much. And we never, ever did anything improper. Kept our distance. That's the main reason he stayed away from the village. Da 'tteba." He put his hands on the carpet, bowed and pressed his forehead to it, wishing he could just fall asleep on it like he often did. "Sumi masen."
"Then it's true." Sarada tapped Naruto twice on the head. He took it as a signal to get back on his knees. Sharingan eyes overflowed with the same compassion as her father's. "Why didn't you end up together after the War?"
Naruto couldn't find the energy to feel embarrassed. He wasn't sure he had even processed any of his grief. "Un … because I really am a Dobe."
"There must be more to it than that," Sarada insisted.
He ran a hand through his hair. "Oi, y'know, I didn't have any oya or guardians, and they didn't teach anything about biology or relationships or families at the Academy back then, not that I probably would have gone to the classes anyhow. I was kind of a brat."
"You were an ignorant little shit," Kakashi supplied.
"Ha, arigato. So until Iruka Sensei told me I was valuable and I should ignore the haters, I skipped school all the time. How old was I, Iruka-tosan?"
"Pushing nine."
"Yeah, see? Useless. Everyone in the village despised me. Then I finally met Sasuke and we became rivals." Naruto knelt back on his heels. "Somehow, I got through the Academy and got put on Team Seven. I couldn't catch up to Sasuke. He was so focused. So brilliant. He could do anything. Always top of the class in academics and an incredibly skilled Genin. And he called me names and put me down constantly, but he was always doing kind things for me." Naruto smiled a little. "I used to sit on the swing all the time, hoping someone would notice me. One time, I found a box of food there with my name on it. Took a long time before I saw Sa's writing and got to compare it, but it was his. And when Kakashi gave Team Seven the bell test, he said whichever of the three of us didn't get a bell wouldn't get lunch. I was a skinny little runt. Sa gave me half his lunch. His eyes were really dark back then, ne. Slate grey, almost black. Darker than yours were, Sarada. He would act all annoyed, but his eyes were really kind. He was always so kind to me, and protective of Sakura. We started getting missions, and one day, we were attacked." Naruto remembered Sasuke jumping in front of him, taking several kunai to the back. Naruto could still remember him wheezing, bubbles of blood forming on his lips, lying in his arms.
At that moment, he saw Sasuke as he was on Sunday. Beautiful and pale. The blood hadn't marred his face at all. Naruto began to hyperventilate. He still hadn't kissed him. Why hadn't he kissed him?
"Naruto-kun!" Kakashi called him back to the present. "That was the time he took ten kunai for you and ended up with a collapsed lung."
"Hai," he said. "I was sure he was gonna die and the bastard called me Dobe. That's when my heart … y'know, when I got attached to him. When I recognized our bond. But I was too much of a Dobe to know what it meant. Itachi tried to kidnap me once and Sa got badly hurt trying to fight him. He got more anger issues, fought me and then ran away. I think I broke his heart about ten times over the years." Naruto laughed a little at himself. "I chased him and chased him, and it made him so mad, he almost managed to kill me once. We were having this big fight at the waterfall, and I nearly died. Sa said that's what activated his Mangekyō Sharingan." Naruto looked up at Sarada. "That only activates when you're afraid someone you love is going to die, you know that, right?"
Sarada's cheeks turned pink and she nodded slightly.
"Well, I was so clueless. Every time we met, he wanted an explanation for my refusal to let him go. Looking back, I realize that he was looking for a confession. And the more time I chased him, and told him because you are my friend, the more infuriated he got. He came back at the end of the War and saved me. Saved the world. If he hadn't protected me, I couldn't have stopped the Eternal Tsukoyomi. And then he insisted on fighting me again, and by that time I wanted to fight him, too. Frustration, ne?"
Sarada nodded again. "Sō ka." She looked so much like Sasuke.
"Anyway, we fought for hours, until we passed out and woke up holding hands. Well, what was left of our hands." Naruto patted his stump above the prosthesis. "There was pretty much nothing left to repair, we really cooked those arms." His voice trailed off. "We fell into the psychic space and I showed him everything in my heart. He said Sō ka, and he told me that he acknowledged me, and that he surrendered. And that I had won. And he shed tears. And I was still too stupid to realize what it meant."
"So you really were a Dobe," Boroto said.
"Total moron." Naruto grimaced. "And then he left again, on his quest to make amends for the wrongs he had done. He wouldn't let me go with him. Sakura asked, too and he turned her down. It was lonely. Hinata came along. I really liked her, and everyone hinted that we should get married, and eventually…"
Naruto's tears welled up again. "I sent him a wedding invitation, using his hawk, Garaga. I didn't hear back until after the wedding. Almost a month after. Did you know, he bought us the house. The damn house. And he sent a note wishing me every happiness. Because that's the real Sasuke. The one nobody knows. The one that wishes the nin he loves every bit of happiness, who will do anything for those nin, sacrifice everything, without getting much back." He wiped his eyes furiously. "And me, being me, I tracked him down again and yelled in his face. Why didn't he come to my wedding? Why did he give us a house? Why did he refuse to come home? Why? Why? Why?" Naruto gulped and his eyes squeezed shut.
"I made him cry. Again. And he called me Dobe. And then he confessed. And then he told me he couldn't come home and watch me with somebody else. And that's when I finally figured myself out. When it was too late.
"We decided that no-one we loved would suffer because of us. And now, that's … unavoidable. You're all going to suffer. I'm sorry. Sa-chan, Bo-kun, Hi-chan. Please don't hate us."
"Like we'd ever blame you for this situation, Old Man." Boruto rolled his eyes and stuck out his fist. "At least the three of us exist. I mean … I'm kinda pissed at Mom for how she handled it, actually."
Naruto did not bump fists. "You know I could never hate your mom. Don't hold a grudge, okay?"
Boruto bumped two fingertips on Naruto's forehead. "I am your son, after all, Dobe."
Naruto shook his head. "No one but Sa gets to call me that."
"Are you going to tell us what happened now?" Sarada asked, blinking back tears.
"Soon." He stood up, feeling a thousand years old, and walked over to face the nin who ruined his life. Who had ruined many lives with one cruel assault. The nin he'd considered not just comrades, but friends. Nin he'd trusted. Nin who plainly didn't like Sasuke.