I hesitated to split this up, but I felt that it flew great!
Thank you for reading! I hope you are still enjoying!
The weekly practice fast became Sasuke's favourite time of the week.
Of course, school was still very important, but with the time he was putting into the band and the dojo, he had a little bit less time to study.
He was learning sheets—how to actually read music—as well as the basic rhythm for a song, to build his overall knowledge and understanding of music.
He was learning fast.
Nagato was a quiet prodigy and a good teacher and he had gotten to know him much better in only a couple of weeks.
The quiet boy was an intense worker always focused on the next sound they would do. He was the one choosing the songs and the arrangements for the group. He had been studying music since primary school and knew how to play... basically everything.
While, Juugo and Yahiko were more into hard rock and metal, and Konan loved old rock and pop, Nagato was into Electro Swing.
Talking to him, Sasuke had learned the basics of Caravan Palace, F-777, and Yolanda Be Cool, as well as many DJs, including local Hinokuni legends.
It was not his favourites, buy Nagato had agreed to show him some tricks on both keyboard and guitar, as well as offer lots of advice to train his ear, so he obliged in all the listening exercises.
He and Yahiko had apparently wanted to be in a band since middle school. Konan was their childhood friend, and once they had realized she could sing, They had hunt her down for her voice. She had been hard to convince, but she had agreed.
Konan had a really pretty voice after all. She was sultry and deep. The soft and harmonious way she sang gave a suave and velvety feel to many common hard rock and rock sounds. She could blend genres, making them more mainstream than a typical metal group would. It was beautiful.
With both Konan and Nagato being shy, Yahiko had become the group's main face and leader. Still, the real mastermind was Nagato. He was the one constantly writing music and re-arranging songs.
The only thing he wasn't really good at was... lyrics. None of them really knew how to write.
Yahiko had tried multiple times. The songs he wrote were terrible but he was trying so hard that no one ever mentioned it. Nagato had been doing his best to compose something that would work well with the weird lyrics.
So the thing the group was best at, for the moment, was covers.
—
"We need to do some gigs."
"What do you mean, Yahiko?"
Juugo was looking at his friend. The ginger boy was sighing deeply, quite perplexed.
"Royal Riff Fest is in September, but we need to start getting our
stuff out there and build a fanbase."
"Don't you guys have one already?" asked Juugo.
"We've got a few bars that know us," he seemed to think for a moment, "but only as a group of three," he added. "Our friends know us, and think our music is great, but we really need to expand if we want people to vote for us at the competition."
"We should set one concert a week, at least until the end of the school year," completed Nagato.
The quiet man was playing in the back, making strange intonations with the pedal of his keyboard.
"Juugo and I have exams coming soon," interrupted Sasuke.
"I'm aware."
Nagato, didn't look up. "We should still try to get a few gigs, even very small ones, so we're on the list for the bigger ones when summer hits."
"We need to change our setlist for summer then," said Konan. "We won't have as much success with metal in the summer."
"We'll adapt," added Nagato. "The Rolling Stones or Pink Floyd are good all year round."
"Are we only doing covers this summer?" asked Juugo.
"For now, yes. We'll try to add one original per gig," answered Yahiko. "But people like to sing along, so it's better to start with covers."
"Sure."
After that, they tried a few more tracks during practice.
Over the following two months, they had the opportunity to play at two small bars. Two very… small bars in two months. Some friends of Yahiko worked there and had convinced the owners to invite them for a couple of nights. It was a nice experience for Sasuke, but he could tell his friends were frustrated. They felt like they were beyond that kind of venues. Still, Konan thanked the owner very much for letting them play.
They mostly played well-known rock classics, but somehow, playing in small bars with no notoriety meant having very little choice in what to perform. This made finding a group identity hard. They all had similar tastes in music, but different enough that they were never fully satisfied with the playlist for any given event.
Then exams time arrived.
Well… pre-exam time arrived.
They had a month before the end-of-year exams, and Sasuke was already on a tight schedule. Things were hard for him. He was starting to get tired. Many commitments were piling up, and spending more time at school meant spending hours in a place he didn't like.
Apparently, he wasn't the only one, because not long after the teachers started piling on work, Karin burst into tears in front of him, begging him to help her study. —They were fake tears, he knew it. But he had complied.—
He agreed to tutor her.
She was an awful student.
How the fuck she made it through middle school?
Probably by finding dirt on the teachers.
"Would you mind concentrating, Karin, please?"
He was annoyed and frustrated. The girl was completely unable to focus.
"Hey Sasuke, how's everything with the band?"
"Fine. Focus now."
"Juugo said you were trying to get onstage."
"Yeah, we are. Karin, we are in the midd—"
"I could be your agent."
He rubbed his finger on his eyelids.
"No, you can't."
"But yes! I know good places in town, and my father is in sales. I could totally do it."
"No. Now let's study. If you don't focus—"
She grumbled but kept quiet.
Sasuke knew, however, that that wasn't the end of it.
This girl was just too stubborn.
—
He was right.
Juugo was standing in the middle of the room for their usual practice. The only thing that was different was the red-haired girl behind him.
Sasuke frowned.
"Karin, what are you doing here?"
She smirked.
He shot a dagger look at Juugo, who definitely avoided his glare.
"She said she could find us some bars to play."
"Can you?" Yahiko interrupted.
"Of course! I'll definitely find you some places!"
Sasuke bit his lip. He wasn't sure it was a good idea to trust her. However, after a few exchanges of pleasantries, it seemed it wasn't his decision anyway.
At least after that, Karin seemed more energetic about studying—which was nice, and made things easier for him.
The end of the first year of high school had left Sasuke exhausted.
He had the best grades in his class. The best he could have imagined. He received praise with honors. Maybe Shikamaru could have done better, but the boy was definitely not trying as hard, and Sasuke was on top.
Sasuke, who had been less focused in the last few weeks, felt relieved.
It was worth it hopefully…
The day he had received the grade back, he had come home early. He had been instructed to bring them to his father's office as soon as he received them.
So he obliged.
Nothing.
That brought him nothing. His father did not even look up.
He had waited in that office like an employee.
What did he try so hard for?
He was reassessing the interaction over and over again. How his father's office door was slightly ajar, the smell of ink and old wood seeping into the air and the beautifully crafted desk.
Sasuke knocked once, quietly, and stepped inside.
Yet, Fugaku didn't look up.
He was seated at his desk, as always, eyes scanning something that could only possibly matter more than this.
"Father, I got my grades back," He was holding the report page in both hands.
No response.
"I was top of the class." He waited.
Still nothing.
He stared at his father's face, trying to read some flicker of emotion. Anger? Surprise? Annoyement? Disdain or displeasure… Anything.
But Fugaku remained unmoved, the scratching of his pen on paper the only reply.
"My report card his here. I did as you asked, I-"
"Leave it on the desk," came the low, automatic response. His father didn't even glance in his direction.
Sasuke set the paper down carefully. The weight of it had suddenly doubled.
He stood there a moment longer, unsure why. There was nothing else to say. Nothing left to offer.
He turned and left the room in silence.
Now back in his room, he could barely remember the non-existent interaction he and his father had just had, just the words that he had wished he said.
Would it even had mattered?
Letting out a loud sigh, he fell onto his bed, without care. Almost bumping his head.
He was feeling empty.
When Sasuke woke up, he did not remember falling asleep.
Groggy, he rubbed his eyes. It was now dark in the large room. With a swift movement, he grabbed his phone that was still in his pocket.
8:43
Late for dinner.
He stood slowly, a little anxious, but noticed quite quickly that a meal had been brought up to his room.
A small note from the kitchen was on it.
Every day now, his father and Itachi were eating at dinners with clients or other important people that Sasuke did not know.
His mother had her own schedule. She had never fully recovered from Itachi's outburst.
Maybe he could bring her his report? She would definitely praised him… at least he hoped so. She had been less present lately. She had often let him know she felt tired or needed to rest.
Her skipping dinner was worrying him, but when he had tried to address it, she had brushed him off.
'I am just a little tired honey, that's all' Or some other bullshit.
He pushed away his negative feelings and grabbed his plate, scrolling through his phone.
He could do nothing for her.
He briefly looked through a couple of messages that he and Karin had been exchanging as new ones had pop-on.
— RedHotK — Wednesday 16:52
(Of course she had name herself that)
Sasuke. Sasukeeee. Come ONNN it's the last game of the year you have to come
— brooding_unbothered — Wednesday 16:56
No.
— RedHotK — Wednesday 17:45
WAHT But It's suuuper important!
— RedHotK — Wednesday 17:48
I already told Juugo we're meeting at the gate at 6 so it's settled
— RedHotK — Wednesday 18:40
Juugo said yes?
— RedHotK — Wednesday 19:00
Yup with enthusiastic consent!
— brooding_unbothered — Wednesday 19:00
Liar.
— RedHotK — Wednesday 19:14
I AM BUYING THE TICKET' TONIGHT YOU COMIN?
— RedHotK — Wednesday 19:35
Sasuke! Answer !
— RedHotK — Wednesday 19:46
Answeeeeeeeeeeer NOOOOOW
Of course he did not want to go. After the exams were done, this was the only one event that kept all the student at school talking.
Somehow their school had qualified. Sasuke had had successfully escaped all the fall and winter game. He did not want to go to this one.
A couple of messages from Juugo started loading on his screen.
— Juugo — Wednesday 20:34
Are u comin' to the G Fri?
— Juugo — Wednesday 20:38
K asked me to tex u.
— Juugo — Wednesday 20:40
Lmk
— Juugo — Wednesday 20:40
pls. It would make K happy…
Nonetheless, this time he seemed he didn't had a choice in joining.
Karin had kept nagging him all week, just like always—and she'd dragged Juugo into it, too. He wasn't about to let his best friend suffer alone.
With a last sight, he typed back.
— brooding_unbothered — Wednesday 19:46
Sure. I'm in.
It was not his week could be that bad anyway.
—
He thought he'd be bored.
However, he wasn't.
The entire school had shown up.
Most were still wearing scarfs and gloves, but the screaming in the stands was almost warming up the school's stadium. Kumo Heights Academy had made it to Konoha high, and brought with them some of their school as well.
Everyone was joyously encouraging the players. Apparently, the competition was fierce. Parents and kids all present ready to encourage their teams. Konha's teams had never been that good. But Sasuke could swear that this reputation must have been there before Naruto. Because, nothing was comparing to the intensity of the game that was played on the field.
Sasuke's eye were glued to the terrain. He couldn't stop but follow the trails left by the blond head playing in front of them..
Naruto was glowing.
Literally.
He was a formidable athlete.
His aura of literal pure joy could be felt all the way up here.
Half of the screams seemed to be dedicated to him.
He was good…
Like… really good.
In just a few seconds, he would run the entire field to steal the ball in one swift movement. Yet, while he was shining, it was clear that his style was never to play solo—passing the ball when someone else was well-placed to score, even if it lowered his own chances.
Of course, he would also seize his own opportunities.
After a goal, the golden boy would come toward the stands,
He could also see Sakura, dressed as a cheerleader, jumping and excitedly screaming at her boyfriend on the side of the game and Sakura would jump into his arms while he was applauded by his team and classmates.
Sasuke could only smile at the people screaming for the blond.
Then, after a bunch of taps on the back, the blond would be back on the field to start all over again.
The game was intense, and their opponents were also giving all they had.
Sasuke had never been into group sports. Yet as the game played in front of him, he could not look away.
That's when Sasuke saw Naruto's father—in the stands, close by Sakura, encouraging his son, a large grin on his face.
Sasuke just stood there, watching the raw talent Naruto was showing and the large proud look he brought his father and as a small tickling of jealousy took over.
He felt his heart tighten.
Naruto always had the talent to make him feel small… powerless, and that dumb blond was doing it with a smile.
Sasuke hated him… yeah, he really did.
He just had to exist. He just had to breathe. It just was…enough.
Memory of his own father came down, and pure frustration came over him. It did not matter how many mistakes Naruto made. How poor his grades were. How dumb the blond was acting.
Naruto was still loved.
Sasuke felt shame take over.
How dare he judge the blond?
Who was he, even?
Sasuke couldn't stand it. He stood and, with a quick excuse, left—waving at
Karin and Juugo to signal he was fine.
Both were too excited by the game anyway.
The incredible, overwhelming euphoria that was taking over the stadium was just too much. So he had to get away—hiding himself somewhere where he could just… feel.
He found himself farther out in the tennis court, breathing intensely, incapable of thinking.
Without an extra thought….
He screamed.
Loud.
Alone.
Nobody would hear; he knew it.
They were all back there. The only light around him was coming from a lone pole right next to him.
He punched it and felt the crack run down his knuckles as the pain moved back up is arm.
He ignored it.
He could only remember the weeks and weeks of work leading up to his exams—the stress and intensity, as well as the sheer ignorance his family had given him.
Who did he do that for?
He let himself fall into a fetal-like squat, breathing in the cold air of the night.
It wasn't like he didn't appreciate his own success. But right now, right here—his motivation was low. The will to win, to do better, mixed with the bittersweetness of jealousy and self-judgment, was taking him over.
Who did he do that for?
What did he want?
Why did it hurt?
He missed his brother.
Sasuke could only feel the intensity of his emotions in that moment, and in a moment of weakness, tears fell.
Could he ever do well enough?
His hand was bleeding.
Looking at his damaged knuckles, he thought of Konan. Playing guitar would be hard.
At least he had her, right?
Juugo too.
His chest tightened… Did he, though?
Time was so fleeting… It was only a question of time until they got tired—until they saw the real him. The dirty, self-conscious, insecure, mean, disgusting person he was.
Sakura had finally seen through him, after all. Right?
He had acted so wrong with her.
Sasuke breathed out.
He could not let his friends down. If he did, who would he have?
At least, if he was good at guitar, that would be enough, right?
He had to become good.
He had to become greater.
He could not let them down.
He could do it. He could learn this summer. He could practice… Make them see that he was serious about the band.
Be useful to them.
That's why Konan had given him a guitar, after all. Right?
He breathed out, trying to calm himself.
Time had passed.
He couldn't really tell how long, but he was starting to feel cold. Still, he couldn't bring himself to move—thoughts still invading his head.
He could drop out of school maybe? Focus on music.
Immediately, his chest tightened. How could he do that?
That would hurt his mother so badly. If he did, he would definitely, truly insult the Uchiha name.
She was already so much weaker since Itachi's egotistic outburst. He could not do this to her.
What was he really going to do for the world?
His mother needed him. He could not disappoint her.
What did he want to do?
Besides, doing well in school was for him first, after all. Right? It was his duty as a student—and as a son.
Sasuke was a proud man, after all.
The calm night seemed to help his senses, but not enough. The noise of the stadium had quieted down as time passed. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.
Home was empty tonight.
It did not matter—no one was searching for him.
He had thought about sending a message to Juugo, telling him and Karin not to worry, but in the end, he didn't really care to check again. He was just listening to the faraway rumble of the stadium.
He felt people were leaving.
That was bad—he probably should move. He was just behind the tennis field. One of the trails to the parking lot passed this way. People would probably see him from there.
Or maybe not… why would they look?
Some laughter started getting louder. Sasuke was slowly coming back to the world, thinking about standing up slowly.
He wasn't done with his reflection when he started to hear a weird fizzing sound—the wind being cut by something he couldn't quite recognize.
Semi-alert, he started to look around until, suddenly, he felt the hard thump of a ball hitting him right in the head.
"Fuck…"
Sudden pain overtook his head, snapping him back to reality. He stumbled, in pain, holding his forehead, whimpering slightly.
He almost didn't hear the running footsteps coming toward him.
"Hey! Sorry, that's mine, I—"
The voice stopped.
Oh, his luck. The golden boy.
Why did Naruto always manage to be there when he was wanted the least?
Sasuke was still holding his head in pain. He could barely see Naruto, trying hard to stay upright.
He definitely, however, could feel the tension, as Naruto's voice became tighter and tenser. The blond was never happy to see him, after all.
"Are… Are you okay?"
The words came out tentative, uncertain.
Sasuke almost laughed. Naruto, caring? What a joke. Even if he did care—he shouldn't.
"Go fuck yourself Dobe. Hn."
God, his head hurt. His voice was hoarse, he had to fight through the pain just to speak. He was still holding it cramping. He couldn't even see Naruto.
"Oy, you're bleeding."
"No fucking joke, cretin."
He stepped back, he could feel the blond closer now.
"I'm just trying to be nice—fuck you."
"Be nice somewhere else. It's your fault."
He could hear Naruto's jaw tighten. Classic. He always clenched it before yelling.
"Even hurt, you're a dick. You need to get that check—" Naruto paused. "Hey, why are your fingers pink?"
In a minute. Sasuke's hand was yanked away. Naruto stared. Concerned. He was examining Sasuke's fingers, which were both bruised and, thanks to the cold, now almost purple.
"Man, your hands are…"
Too close. Too much.
Sasuke snatched it back. It doesn't concern you.
Why was fucking Naruto caring? They hated each other. He didn't need charity. He didn't like that. Not at all. Last time, Naruto had punched him in the face.
"It doesn't concern you." - He repeated out loud
"Why are you in the middle of the tennis field alone?"
Sasuke laughed cynically though it came out weak. The pain was still throbbing, but he could now look at Naruto.
"Obviously because I like to throw balls in the middle of the night."
Naruto stood still, staring at him. Too close. Too close. Sasuke could see the sweat still clinging to Naruto's skin, a flush on his cheeks from the game. However, contrary to usual, the hate that was usually in his gaze seemed replaced by … curiosity?
"No joke, how bloody stupid are you?"
Naruto frown.
"You're really a—"
Sasuke snapped.
"A what? Oh, want me to say it for you? I know the list!"
"That's—"
"Rich prick, dick, teme, fuck, bastard, egoist, cunt—"
"OH shut up! Just fuck you, Sasuke! What do you want from me?! You're fucking hurt? Also, did you cry?"
Sasuke froze.
"Nobody asked you for your opinion! You freaking kicked a ball in my face—of course my eyes are watery! You weren't happy enough with your fucking dumb match?!"
Naruto did not look convinced.
Sasuke felt his stomach twist. Was he that pathetic-looking? Was it that obvious? Naruto couldn't resist, could he?
"Why are you provoking me like that? You know very well I always fall for it!"
Naruto seemed too calm for once, but he still raised his voice.
"I'm not responsible for your inability to control yourself!"
"And what? Your goal is to fight?"
Sasuke locked his eyes on Naruto's, daring him.
"Maybe?"
Silence stretched between them, thick with anticipation. Sasuke's chest tightened. He could feel the sparks in the air. He needed this. Somehow, he felt was out of breath. The eagerness, maybe?
Please, let them fight.
He needed this.
He needed to feel that type of sensation again.
For the first time, however, Naruto stepped back.
"No."
Sasuke's stomach dropped.
"You know what, Sasuke? I am tired of this. You are pathetic. You destroy everything that could work for you. I am tired of answering to your continuous provocation..."
Naruto let out a last breath.
"I'm done."
The air could be cut by a knife. Sasuke had to force back the burning in his eyes, biting his lip.
"Yeah… Go then!"
"Yeah, I'm leaving."
Naruto moved, stepping toward the ball on the ground. Then, without a last look, he turned around and left, leaving Sasuke alone in the middle of the tennis court.
Yeah… go.
You're the last person I wanted to talk to anyway.
Once the blond boy was far away— Sasuke let it out again. Trying hard not to be loud.
He did not understand. What was Naruto doing to him?
Maybe it was the stress or the anger. But here he was, regretting that the boy hadn't pushed him or hadn't started throwing his fists. He would have loved a punch again.
Not with just anyone. He wanted to fight with Naruto. He wanted to pin him down, throw his leg to the side, get back up and block again—his fist going for his torso.
He wanted to feel the sharp scent of sweat that clung to Naruto during a fight, the way his body heated up with each movement.
He wanted to be beaten. To feel weak and powerful at the same time. What the hell was wrong with him?
In this strange, quiet emotional state, he was teetering on the edge of a fantasy. Strong smells, sweat, tears. What was wrong with him?
Just the thought of it—of fighting with Naruto—stirred something inside him, and yet the only thing he felt right now was despair.
He couldn't stay here. He promptly stood, leaving the tennis field, looking for a place where he could get a hold of himself somewhere.
Naruto was making him crazy.
And he hated himself.