Lee regretted letting Matty go with Phillip as soon as they walked out of the door. He knew it was better for his son to go with Phillip. He just wished he could go with them too. Being forced to eat Carrie's cooking was better than having to endure godforsaken hospital food. Travelling all this way and then just sending Matty away like that even if it was just for the night was hard for him. Ever since Matty was taken Lee did not like his son being out of his line of eyesight. Lee knew he couldn't protect him if he wasn't near him. But he also knew Matty would be more comfortable and safer at Joe's house. He would be able to rest. There was also the possibility of law enforcement showing up any minute to arrest him. Matty didn't need to see that.
Lee just wanted to get out of this hospital but there was no chance of that. Not if Amanda was with him. He knew from experience that she was a lot harder to get past than Tony. She knew all of his tricks. He smiled a little. Amanda was alive and she was with him. His son was safe. He supposed he could endure a couple days of being in this hellhole if it meant he could go home afterwards. He was hopefully going to get to go to his real home and see his entire family.
He felt Amanda's eyes on him, her beautiful brown eyes with golden flecks, "You'll see Matty again tomorrow. He'll be fine. Jamie and Phillip won't let anything happen to him. He's safer at Joe's place. The fact that Joe is a lawyer offers him some protection. Phillip is the best agent the Agency has had since you. He even earned his code name a couple years ago. It was the fastest a Freshman Agent earned a code name since you."
He forgot that she could read his mind. "I know. I just don't like being away from Matty. Phillip has a code name now? That is so great. I knew he was going to be a good agent. I'm sure he will be better than I ever was. Jamie would have been a good one too but I'm glad he's happy doing what he loves. Just please tell me that Phillip's code name is not Worm Brain."
Amanda laughed she had such a cute laugh, "You never liked being away from Matty. Even before everything happened. Matty was always your little shadow. I am just going to have to get used to being second banana with the kids again. I am pretty sure our daughter is going to drop me the second she meets you. As for Phillip's code name it's Prince. Francine gave him some options. He picked that one. It was better than Goldenboy or Nepo Baby."
Lee smiled, "Prince Phillip, that's cute. She did always like the royals. As for our kids, you were never a second banana to them and you know it. Our kids are so lucky to have you as their mother. I still can't believe we have a daughter. I don't know anything about little girls though. I don't..."
Amanda laughed and interrupted him, "Don't start on the whole what a terrible father you are going to be business. Nobody buys that. You are wonderful with our children. You always have been. All three boys adore you. Leann will too. I predict she will be a daddy's girl within fifteen minutes of meeting you even if we don't tell her your her real father right away."
It wasn't lost on Lee that she said all three boys but they were all really easy great kids because of her. If their daughter was like him though he was a little worried she wasn't going to be as easy as the boys. "Why did you name her after me? We talked about that when you wanted to name the baby Lee whether it was a girl or boy last time. We had agreed we were going to name our daughter Jenny if we had a girl."
She smiled at him, "That's her middle name. You had just died. Of course, I was going to name her after you."
He smiled back at her, "Maybe the next one we can name Jenny. It's going to be weird calling my kid Lee."
She laughed, 'She goes by Leann, not Lee. We are both fifty now, Lee. I think that ship has sailed. Four children is plenty. I already feel ancient at all the parent functions. These new parents are all Phillip and Jamie's age. That brings me to something else we should talk about. We need to talk about our relationship.'
He knew it. She was with someone. "You are with someone, aren't you? Is it Joe?"
She rolled her eyes at him, "Oh my gosh. Still with Joe? Did you not hear me tell Phillip to feed Matty before he goes to Joe and Carrie's house? They are still married. Even if I did still have feelings for Joe, which I don't. I'm not a homewrecker. Joe & I are much better as friends. We never should have gotten married in the first place except if I had to do it all again knowing what i know now. I would do it exactly the same because having my boys were worth all of it and I got you at the end of the tunnel. I can't even imagine my life without Phillip or Jamie in it."
Lee in a very jealous voice spoke, 'Who is he, then?"
She started playing with his beard, 'Oh my gosh, I forgot how cute you are when you're jealous. Don't be jealous. I'm not with anyone. Not really. It's not that. You are the love of my life. You always will be. It's just we were too close. What we had was too intense. I don't think I can do it again. When I lost you, it felt like I lost a part of myself. It almost killed me. If I hadn't been pregnant with our daughter. I'm not sure what would have happened. I don't think I can lose myself in you again. If something were to happen, I just can't do it. Not again."
Lee didn't like it but he understood. He had hurt her. The last person in the world he would ever want to hurt. This was not going to be easy especially if she kept touching him like that. Her fingers felt so good on his face and beard. It had been so long since he had been with a woman. He could control himself for now anyway.
Whatever she wanted from him. He would do it for her. If she didn't want to be with him anymore. He understood that. She deserved so much better than him. Except he wasn't sure he could watch her be with anyone else. That would be torture but he had brought all of this on himself.
He would do anything for her except one thing. If she was going to ask him to stay away from his kids. He wouldn't be able to do that. Matty wouldn't understand. At least his daughter had never met him. But Lee wanted to be a part of his daughter's life too. Plus, he wanted to make up for leaving Phillip and Jamie.
He took her fingers off his face and held her hand again. "I understand. Matty and our daughter. I want to be a part of their lives. I won't stay away even if you ask me to. I mean unless they put me in prison. But even if I'm in prison, you can bring them to visit me. I need the kids to know that I love them. I know what it is like to not have parents. I don't want that for either one of them. I made sure Matty knew how much you loved him when we thought you were dead, Amanda. It's not the same though."
Amanda squeezed his hand gently, "Of course, Lee. I would never keep you away from our children. That would hurt both you and them. I don't want you out of my life either. I still love you. I'll always love you. I just don't want to be romantically involved with you. That's all. You are still a part of my family and my heart. You always will be."
Lee squeezed her hand back and ran his thumb over her knuckles, "I love you. Whatever you want me to do I will. I'm still yours. I always will be."
He wanted to kiss her so much in that moment. He put his forehead against hers. They were just quiet for a moment.
Lee broke the silence because he was going to kiss her if he didn't change the subject "We should talk about Matty. We are going to have some issues with him. London is all he knows. He doesn't remember before he was taken. I don't think he realizes that he's staying here forever yet. That this is his home now. He's going to get overwhelmed. He has PTSD and Selective Mutism from everything that happened to him. He can speak and he does in his sleep but it's awful when he does. What those men did to him. I would kill that man again if I could. I'm guessing the nightmares are going to get worse with all the stress. He also does this thing when he's upset where he just sits in the corner of a room and holds his knees. If you see him do that. He's upset about something. You'll probably want to get Pfaff to talk to him."
Amanda gripped his hand tighter, "Matty has been having nightmares already. Does he have violent outbursts occasionally too? He has been nothing but sweet and gentle so far except for when he was first grabbed. Maybe I'll have him sleep downstairs if he does. I'll keep Leann away from him at night."
Lee smiled, 'No, never. He's not violent at all. He's very smart and sweet like he always was. He's funny too but he has to get to know you before you get that. He can be a little shy around new people. The martial arts he knows was because of me. I started teaching him Judo so he could protect himself but he surpassed my skills. My security guy Sven he teaches kids martial arts on the side. Sven and his wife are why Matty is so good at martial arts. Matty is very athletic. He loves sports, coffee, reading and martial arts."
He stopped speaking again for a minute and they started just staring at each other again. She was more beautiful than he even remembered. Her and Matty were the best things that ever happened to him. He would never have his son without her and now they had a daughter too. He loved her so much. It had been almost five years since he'd last seen her but his feelings for her were not any less strong. He was pretty sure they were even stronger if that was possible. When it came to her, he could be patient. He would wait until the bullets healed some more and he would make a move. No she didn't want him to. He would let her make the first move. This was going to be really hard.
Well maybe one more little kiss wouldn't hurt. It was better than the painkillers. He started leaning in to kiss her but just then Joe walked into the hospital room and they both backed away from each other.
Joe looked the same. He was tall, dark haired with very blue eyes. He was a good-looking guy. He looked angry when he came in the room. Lee saw him look at Amanda. There was anger in his eyes but he softened a little looking at Amanda. Joe still loved her. Lee could see it even if Amanda couldn't.
Joe walked over to him and said gruffly, "Hello, Mr. Winthrope. I'm Joe King. I need to talk to Amanda outside for a few minutes."
Amanda just nodded yes and walked out into the hallway with him. It was just like Phillip except Lee knew that this wasn't going to go as smoothly. Joe wasn't going to forgive him as quickly. Phillip and Lee had always got along really well. Lee was guessing it would be a little tougher when he reunited with Jamie, but he was looking forward to it.
Amanda squeezed Lee's hand and let go. She and Joe walked outside. Lee leaned back on the bed. He was guessing this was not going to end well. Maybe he could offer Joe one of Matty's cars so he wouldn't be as angry with him. Lee deserved whatever anger Joe had at him. He could take it. At least Amanda wasn't back with Joe. He still had a chance with her. He would just need to go slow. It took them three years to admit their feelings last time. Lee hoped it wouldn't take that long again but when it came to her. He would wait forever. Even if she never took him back. He would never stop loving her. He wasn't sure he could if he tried. She wasn't wrong about how intense their love was. Losing her had broken him too except he had already been broken since he was five years old. Their kids and her were the only things that could hold him together.
Lee had lost so many people in his life. His grandfather had told him once that the Hamilton curse had passed on to him. Lee started thinking about his grandfather.
Living on his grandfather's estate he had gotten to know him. That was the best part of this whole ordeal. Lee had learned a lot about his family history and that his grandfather was not the scary cold old man he thought he was. His grandfather was just the old version of Lee if he had never met Amanda.
He wished he had let Amanda push harder when they went to see him during their second honeymoon. His Grandfather would have caved to her if he had let her just push a little harder. His Grandfather had lost his parents young, his brother in the war, his wife in childbirth, then both of his children. That was why his grandfather had pushed Lee away. Lee realized his grandfather was what he would have become if he never met Amanda and actually survived to an old age.
Lee had gotten to find out more about his mother living with his Grandfather. She had written lots of journals as a teenage girl. He would have to have Tony send the journals to the United States. He knew Amanda would love reading those. His daughter too when she was a little older. There was also a beautiful Victorian dollhouse in his mother's room. He would have to have that shipped over for his daughter. She was only four and apparently like him at four so maybe he would wait a few years before he had that shipped.
He wondered if his daughter would like him. He really didn't know anything about girls. Whatever his daughter wanted though he would get for her. Amanda would let him. He had four years of Christmas and birthdays to make up for. He grabbed the picture again and started staring at it. He already knew he loved the little girl in the picture. His daughter really looked like him as a child. She had his dimples too. He really wanted to meet her. Maybe Amanda could bring her to the hospital. But he was just a strange man to this little girl. It would look weird. Maybe he could sneak out of the hospital again. No, Amanda would kill him. He was lost in thought thinking about his daughter when he heard a voice.
"Why are you staring at a picture of Amanda's daughter like that? I'm sorry, Amanda. There is no way I'm helping this creep. The way he is looking at that picture of your daughter. It's weird. Do you want to take her away from them too? Amanda may be a soft touch but I'm not. I hope you rot in prison. I'm leaving and Amanda, your kids are going to stay at my place until this creep is safely behind bars."
Lee spoke, "Wait Joe, it's me. There is no Michael Winthrope. Well there is a real Michael Winthrope but he most likely died in the woods in Canada in the early seventies. It's me, Lee."
Joe's anger seemed to intensify even more, "You son of a bitch. It is you, isn't it? That's why Amanda is being so protective of you. You gave me all those years of grief of leaving Amanda and the boys. Then you go and do the same thing. I should still let you rot in prison. What you did to my family. Amanda barely left the house for three months. Phillip gave up his own life to stay and take care of her. Jamie almost did as well. Phillip, Dottie and Amanda wouldn't let him. Phillip joined the Agency to follow in your footsteps. He might have had a real career."
Amanda looked annoyed at Joe. , "Phillip has been working for the Agency since he was sixteen. That's what he wanted, Joe. He chose it. And it's my footsteps he was following in, not Lee's."
Joe looked at her, "Please. It has everything to do with Lee. If you had never met him. If you had married that weatherman or gotten back with me. Phillip would probably be a lawyer right now. Jamie would be a doctor instead of an artist."
"Oh my gosh. Will you just stop? You of all people have no right to put your disappointment on our sons on Lee. You should be so proud of the men that they have become. We are so lucky to have them. Not once have I ever had to try and convince any one of my four children if Lee loved them. Do you know how many times I have had to try and convince both Phillip and Jamie that you actually loved them? That they were not responsible for ruining your life? Phillip is still convinced that we got divorced because of him. He has so much guilt over that."
Joe looked at her, "Amanda, the problems in our marriage had nothing to do with the boys. They should know that."
She looked at him, "Joe, you were never around to see Phillip lock himself in the closet in their bedroom and just cry for hours. Asking me why his daddy didn't love him. Jamie had trouble sleeping after you left. He had nightmares or couldn't fall asleep at all. Phillip got a pillow out of the closet and told him that it was a magic pillow. That it would make it so you wouldn't have bad dreams."
Lee was pretty sure that both Joe and Amanda had forgotten that he was still in the room. He was the one they were supposed to be yelling at. Lee thought that Phillip finding another squishy pillow in the closet might be a good idea for Matty. Except Matty was ten now. He should have thought of that when he was younger. He was going to say something but he didn't want them to turn their attention back on him so he kept quiet.
Joe sighed, "Was that the squishy pillow? He still has that thing. You would think he would have outgrown that by now."
Amanda was getting annoyed, "Just stop it. Your accusing Lee of abandoning the children. Look in the mirror. Lee also did what he did to protect his son. He never abandoned his son. He did what he did for his son. Yes, he abandoned me and the boys but it wasn't for selfish reasons like you. Do I like what he did? No. Should he have checked on home at least once in five years. Yes. But it isn't the same. Lee was good to our boys. You know that. Even though he left us he made sure they were taken care of. Which is more than I can say for you. You know I almost lost the house once if Lee hadn't co-signed a loan for me."
Joe looked at her, "You could've asked me for money anytime, Amanda. I would've helped."
She looked at him, "Joe it was a long time ago. You had just come back from Africa. you weren't sure if you were going back. That was when you had just gotten an apartment in DC. When you had not quite decided if you were staying permanently or not. You were kind of in between jobs at EAO. I couldn't ask you for money then. I'm not sure you had it. Lee came through for us."
Joe looked defeated, "Alright, I'm sorry, Amanda. You are right. The boys know I love them now at least, don't they? I know Phillip and I have had our problems in the past, but we are past that. He actually talks to me now. We just went to the Orioles opening day together with Joey last month."
She smiled, "Well it really is not up to me to tell them that. You just need to tell them both that you love them and are proud of them more often. Alright? Now do you want to go back to yelling at Lee or are you going to help him?"
Lee stared at Amanda. God it was such a turn on when she gave Joe a hard time like that. Being patient was going to be really hard.
Joe sighed and turned his attention back on Lee, "Who knows you are back besides Phillip, Matty, and Amanda?"
Lee had no idea, "I used my Michael Winthrope Canadian passport. If Scotland Yard and the Agency are looking for me. It's only a matter of time before they show up here. Especially because I think Galillee is contacting the hospital in London I was at for my records. I was going to use one of my other identities but I needed to use my credit card to buy the plane ticket. Matty had taken the cash out of my airport locker."
Amanda looked at him, "He didn't have any cash or anything on him when the agency took him in. He just had the clothes on his back."
Lee nodded, "Well he probably hid the bag somewhere before he went in case there was trouble. I taught him to do that. There's probably about five grand in that bag. We will probably want to ask him where he stashed that at some point."
Joe looked at him, "You have more than one. Of course you do. So you used your real fake name to travel. If the Agency is looking into you. It's only a matter of time before they show up at the hospital. You holding his hand like that is not going to help me with my case to get your job back, Amanda. They already think you flipped out. Hopefully they will just send Philip or Francine, but I haven't settled that yet either."
Amanda looked at Joe, "I am really in no rush to go back to work right now. My children are going to need me. Matty is going to need to adjust to living in a new country and home. Even though it's his real home. He doesn't remember me. I need time to bond with him again. Leann is going to have to adjust to having a new brother. Even though she has seen pictures of him and knows she has another brother."
Joe nodded, "Well the good thing is that Billy is in your corner. He does not want to lose either one of you. I'll have to research whether law enforcement can charge him as Michael if the legal guardian doesn't want to press charges. I think the combination of Amanda not pressing charges and if we can prove that you took him to protect him. I may be able to get you off. No promises though. It will be tricky since you took him out of the country and had him for almost five years. I'll do my best. It will be much harder to get you off if they discover that you are actually Lee Stetson. They have your computer. You made sure that the Agency knew it was you so Amanda wouldn't be implicated in that letter you sent."
Amanda spoke, "I can't believe you sent that letter. You made sure I went to the Agency and reported you as going off the deep end. That's what we fought about that morning. Then you went and did that too. Lee, that was overkill. They never charged me with anything."
Lee looked at her, "I was just protecting you. I didn't like the idea of going to prison but as long as our kids had you."
She pulled his hand back up to her lips and lightly kissed his hand. Yeah, being patient was going to be hard. Her lips were so soft and filled with electricity. He started at her lips. He had kissed those lips so many times. Joe and her kept on kissing after they split up. Maybe he could work out some sort of arrangement like she had with Joe. Until he and Carrie teamed up and had a talk with them and made them stop. If they weren't going to be together it was only right that he got the same benefits Joe had gotten.
God, he loved her so much. He would also have to talk to her about touching him so much eventually. Later though. Right now, feeling her touches even if he couldn't do anything about them felt amazing. It was better than any pain medication this crap hospital could give him. When he felt better and wasn't in so much pain. It was going to be a lot harder to control himself but for right now. He wanted to feel her touches and her kisses. He had missed them so much.
Joe spoke, "Well it's really late. I'm going to go. I'll do what I can for you. Sorry about before, Lee. Believe it or not I am kind of glad you are back. Your daughter is going to love you. She's pretty great. Her and Dottie got in earlier this evening."
Lee smiled at Joe, "Well it was good to see you again, Joe. I really am sorry about this mess. Thank you. Even if you can't get me out of it."
Joe nodded, "Well if I can, maybe you and I can start golfing together again some time."
Lee smiled "I'd like that."
Then Joe went over and hugged Amanda, "I heard what you said. I'll talk to the boys."
She smiled, "That's all I ask. And Joe thank you for everything."
Joe walked out of the room. He was alone with Amanda again. She looked at him. "You should get some sleep, Lee. I'll just be in the chair. I'll stay with you. Make sure you don't run out of the hospital."
Lee smiled, "You know Matty's spot on the bed is available if you want to lay down."
She smiled at him, "That's not a good idea. The chair is fine. Close your eyes, Lee. Get some rest."
She started petting his hair gently. It felt so nice. Lee closed his eyes and started dreaming about happier times with his wife and family.
Notes:
Next chapter: Dottie reunites with Matty. Carrie drives her nuts.