CHAPTER EIGHT

She was numb. Completely and utterly numb.

Usagi sat motionless, staring down at a mug of cocoa. Though her hand was wrapped around it, she couldn't feel its heat, nor could she remember how it had gotten there. Tiny white marshmallows floated atop the untouched beverage, and she watched them dissolve with mute disinterest until her vision blurred and the sugary treat was nothing more than a shapeless brown and white blob. A gentle hum filled her ears, drowning out the anxious voices around her. When the hum grew into a deafening buzz, Usagi closed her eyes and sank back in her chair, content to let her senses fade away one by one. Content to let the numbness swallow her whole.

A sharp snap at her left ear jolted her alert, and Usagi blinked up into a pair of blue eyes. She yelped and jerked away, spilling cocoa all over the blanket folded across her lap. There was a bustle of activity as the soiled blanket was taken away to be laundered and her empty mug was collected, but the watchful blue gaze never wavered. Usagi straightened up and did her best to focus. Minako was looking at her. Minako's lips were moving. What was she saying? Usagi swallowed and the buzzing receded, restoring her hearing.

"Where'd you go, Usagi?"

Minako's quiet question resonated in the overt silence. It would have seemed odd, had Makoto not asked Usagi the very same thing a week ago. Unlike then, Usagi now understood what she was being asked, but she still didn't have an answer. At least, not one that she cared to share. She didn't want the girls to know what was going on inside her head. She didn't want to know herself.

When the silence stretched on and Minako and Usagi appeared deadlocked, one waiting, the other withholding, Rei approached and laid a hand on Minako's shoulder. They exchanged a look before Minako dipped her chin and stepped away, leaving Rei to crouch down in front of Usagi. Rei placed a hand on her knee and waited for Usagi to meet her gaze before speaking. "I know this is hard, but you can't shut down right now. We need to figure this out."

Suppressing an urge to jump out of her chair and run for the door, Usagi bit down on the inside of her cheek and forced herself to nod. After giving her knee a gentle squeeze, Rei stood up and withdrew to stand with the others.

The discussion resumed and Usagi listened with half an ear as her thoughts drifted elsewhere. They were at Makoto's apartment again, but she didn't remember getting there. She vaguely recalled waiting around on the ice with the others while Mercury performed vital checks on Misha and Janelyn. The pair skaters hadn't woken up before the Senshi had left, but that was fine. Usagi preferred it that way. It was always so awkward trying to explain everything afterwards. Better to let the victims wake up and think it had all been a bad dream. Usagi often wished she could do the same.

At some point they'd left the arena and wound up back at Makoto's. How and when they'd gotten there was a mystery, but Usagi didn't really care. That didn't matter right now. Nothing mattered right now, except…

"He's dangerous."

The hard statement captured Usagi's full attention and her gaze drifted back to Minako, the one who had spoken. Minako was standing with the others—everyone was too on edge to sit, well, everyone save for Usagi—and her grim expression made Usagi wonder how fine the line was between schoolgirl and Senshi.

Minako looked to Ami. "You've been fighting with him the longest. What's his story?"

Ami's gaze flitted to Usagi, wondering no doubt whether she would speak up and correct Minako. Sailor Moon had the longest history with Tuxedo Kamen, the most interaction. If anyone should speak up on his behalf it should be her. Usagi glanced down at her bandaged hand and said nothing.

"Until now, we've generally regarded Tuxedo Kamen as an ally," Ami answered.

Minako quirked an eyebrow. "Generally?"

Ami hesitated. "Well…given his history of lending aid, I'm reluctant to label him as an adversary, but his conduct during our search for the rainbow crystals did raise some questions regarding his allegiance. After today's events, I can't help but wonder if he's misled us."

Minako crossed her arms. "So you think he could have been working for the enemy all along."

Ami's gaze darted to the others before she opened her mouth to answer. "Anything I say at this point would only be speculation, however—"

"Of course he wasn't!" Rei insisted, stepping forward and scowling at Ami. "He's always helped us whenever we were in trouble. Just think of how many times he's saved Usagi."

"Sailor Moon," Usagi muttered.

Rei threw a distracted look in Usagi's direction. "What?"

"Sailor Moon," Usagi repeated without moving from her chair. "Not Usagi. How many times he's saved Sailor Moon."

Rei, Ami, and Makoto all furrowed their brows in puzzlement before Minako picked up the thread of their discussion. "From what I'm hearing, you've been fighting alongside an unknown entity who operates on mysterious terms, and you can't confirm whether his help was altruistic or self-serving. Since we don't know why he wanted the rainbow crystals—"

"We do."

There was a pause as all eyes turned to Usagi. She'd spoken without thinking and was already cursing herself for it. "We do know, I mean, I do." Minako's eyes narrowed as Rei's widened and heat flooded Usagi's cheeks before she looked down at her lap. "I know." She waited, hoping an explanation wouldn't be necessary, hoping they'd take her word for it, but the ensuing silence said otherwise.

Usagi looked up at four expectant faces and frowned. Last week, while recounting her tale, she had chosen to omit Mamoru's personal confession. At the time, she hadn't felt it was right to repeat something so private. While her feelings hadn't changed, many other things had. As she trailed her fingers along the rough weave of her bandage, it occurred to her that Mamoru's revelation might not have been as private as she first thought. After all, he had told her of all people. What had made Usagi think that meant something?

"He needed them to find her," she said at last, wincing at the bitterness in her words.

"To find who?" Makoto asked.

Usagi sighed and shifted in her chair. "The princess. He told me that he'd been dreaming of her. In his dreams, she asked him to find the crystals so that he could learn the truth."

Rei's brow furrowed. "The truth about what?"

"About his past," Usagi said, but the crease in Rei's brow only deepened. "You know, his memories." When Rei's puzzled expression persisted, Usagi's own brow furrowed. Had Mamoru not told Rei about his parents or his amnesia? How could it not have come up in all the time they'd been dating? Usagi opened her mouth to ask, but Ami spoke first.

"He'd been dreaming of you."

All thoughts of Rei and Mamoru fled Usagi's mind as her gaze cut to Ami. "Her," Usagi corrected, a note of steel in her voice. "He'd been dreaming of Serenity." When Ami opened her mouth to reply, Usagi glared. Ami swallowed whatever she'd been about to say and gave a small nod but there was no mistaking the speculative look in her eyes.

"Tuxedo Kamen told you all of this?" Minako asked, re-entering the conversation.

"No, Mamoru did." Minako's gaze sharpened when Usagi said his name, causing Usagi to blush. She didn't know why she'd made the distinction, given that they were one and the same.

Minako looked to Ami. "This Mamoru, what do we know about him?"

Ami frowned and glanced toward her computer, sitting on Makoto's coffee table. "Not much more than we knew last week."

Minako frowned. "Last week he was a victim, now he's an opponent. We need to know more."

"He's still a victim," Rei said, narrowing her eyes.

Minako looked at her for a few beats before replying. "Maybe, but in this scenario the two aren't mutually exclusive. Either way, we need all the intel we can get."

Ami's gaze shifted to Rei. "You, um, likely know more than the rest of us, Rei, given your, um"—her gaze flitted to Usagi—"well, your relationship with him."

Minako looked between Ami and Rei. "Relationship?"

"They're dating," Usagi said. All eyes turned back to her, but she'd said all she had to say on this particular subject.

After recovering from the small bomb Usagi had just dropped, Minako turned to Rei. "You're dating Mamoru? Why am I only hearing about this now?"

When Rei didn't answer immediately, Ami swooped in to diffuse the tension. "It's been a hectic week and things are, well, somewhat complicated after…" Ami let her words trail off, but it was easy enough to follow her train of thought. Everyone knew why it was complicated. Or at least, Usagi assumed everyone knew why it was complicated, judging by the furtive looks being thrown in her direction.

"I see," Minako muttered, shifting her not so furtive gaze from Usagi to Rei. "I can appreciate that this is difficult, but any info you can give us will help."

Rei pursed her lips and blew out a breath. "Right. Well, he's sixteen—no, seventeen, and he's in his second year at Moto Azabu high school."

Minako nodded. "Yeah, we got the basics last week from Ami. I'm thinking more personal details, you know? Family, friends, where he lives, what his interests are…stuff like that."

Rei's cheeks flushed, and Usagi felt a wave of compassion for her in spite of her own discomfort. It couldn't be easy to be interrogated like this about someone you—well, someone close to you. Usagi could only imagine what was going through Rei's mind. How worried she was. How much pain she was in.

"He, um…I think— I think, maybe, he lives alone? I've never been—" Rei paused and shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she crossed her arms. "Well, I mean, we always met at a common place. I never…I never saw his apartment, but his answering machine didn't mention anyone else, so I assumed he didn't live with anyone."

An awkward silence descended in the wake of Rei's stammered account and several glances were exchanged when her gaze dropped to the floor. Makoto was the first to speak. "Rei, is that really all you know about him? I thought the two of you had been going out for a while now."

"We've only been out together a few times," Rei admitted.

Makoto's eyes twinkled with suppressed amusement. "And you didn't think to ask him anything other than where he goes to school and what grade he's in?"

"He's quiet!" Rei said, straightening up before turning her gaze back to the floor. "I did most of the talking." When Makoto stifled an amused snort, Rei looked to Usagi for support. "Usagi knows what I mean, she's spent time with him too. He's quiet, right?"

Usagi blinked at Rei, unsure of how to respond. She had never known Mamoru to be silent about anything. He was always showing up to deliver a snide comment, or offering unwelcome opinions on how she lived her life, or butting into her private conversations with unsolicited advice. Rei was complaining that she couldn't get him to speak, but Usagi had never been able to get him to shut up.

"Well, quiet or not, that doesn't give us much to go on." Minako rubbed her forehead before turning to Ami. "Let me know if you dig up an address. I'd like to get eyes on his place." Ami nodded, and Minako looked at all of them. "I know you've all fought with him, and I understand that some of you have other connections"—her gaze moved to Rei then Usagi—"but the question remains, what do any of you really know about him?"

The question hung over their heads like a sombre cloud, darkening their expressions. Never one to leave a question unanswered, Ami rallied first. "Right now we know that he's working for the Dark Kingdom. My current theory is that they've used dark energy in order to brainwash him, like Misha and Janelyn."

Makoto scowled with distaste. "Brainwashed. He must be, I've never seen Tuxedo Kamen act like that."

Usagi fingered the bandage on her right hand. Though the sterile white fabric hid her injury, she could still feel her pulse throbbing in the shallow gash that lay beneath.

"He'd never do anything like that unless he was under duress," Rei said.

Beginning with her thumb, Usagi spread her fingers wide, stretching the inflamed tendons and sending a painful tingle running along the edges of her laceration until her hand began to tremble under the strain.

"I'm not convinced we know him well enough to make concrete statements, but I wouldn't put anything past the Dark Kingdom," Minako said.

Usagi balled her hand into a fist and winced when the stress of the sudden movement split her wound open. She swallowed as a hint of red bloomed through the white gauze.

"It's the only logical explanation I can think of," Ami said.

"Is it?"

She'd spoken again, but maybe she'd meant to this time. Usagi honestly didn't know. Whatever the case, she knew they were all looking at her. She could feel their gazes boring into the top of her head, but she refused to look up. Refused to reveal the shadows lurking in her thoughts.

"Usagi?"

The note of soft inquiry in Ami's voice made Usagi shake her head. "Nothing, never mind."

A pair of yellow socks flashed in the periphery of Usagi's vision as Minako moved to the head of the coffee table. "Bottom line, Chiba Mamoru aka Tuxedo Kamen remains a serious threat. Let's not forget that he knows Usagi is Sailor Moon. That leaves her incredibly exposed."

Usagi hadn't forgotten.

"I don't think he does," Makoto said. "I mean, I know that Mamoru saw Usagi transform last week, but Misha and Janelyn attacked me today because they thought I was Sailor Moon. They were using the skating lesson to find her. If Tuxedo Kamen knows Usagi is Sailor Moon, why wouldn't the Dark Kingdom just go find her straight away?"

Ami nodded. "Mako-chan makes a very good point. It would be illogical to plan such an elaborate trap if they already knew Sailor Moon's true identity. I think it's safe to assume that Usagi's secret remains hidden." She paused a beat before adding, "For now, at least."

"All right," Minako said, planting a hand on her hip. "That lessens the threat somewhat, but it doesn't mean we can afford to let our guard down. Today's attack confirms our suspicions; the enemy is after the ginzuishou, and they're targeting Sailor Moon." Minako turned a solemn expression on Usagi. "You're in very real danger now, Usagi. The Dark Kingdom is hunting you, and until we can find a way to stop them, you shouldn't go anywhere alone."

Minako turned to the others before Usagi could respond. "She should be safe at home so long as Luna keeps an eye out, and Ami and Makoto have school covered. That leaves escort duties. We'll divvy up the days according to schedules. Be sure to have your communicators on you at all times, we need to be ready for anything and everything. " When Usagi opened her mouth to speak, Minako silenced her with a pointed look. "That goes for you too. If we get separated again and we tell you to wait for us, we need to know that you're going to listen."

Usagi fisted her hands. "Mako-chan was in trouble!"

Rei moved to Minako's side. "It wasn't safe for you to go in there alone."

"Since when?"

"Since we said so."

"I'm not going to sit around and wait when I know one of my friends is in danger." Usagi looked to Makoto for backup.

Makoto offered her a soft smile as she stepped forward. "You're a wonderful friend, Usagi," she said, mollifying some of Usagi's anger. Then her gaze flitted to Minako and Rei and her smile wavered. "But the situation has changed…you can't afford to be taking extra risks."

"But you can?" Usagi countered, indignant. How was no one on her side?

"We have a duty, Usagi," Rei said, as if that was explanation enough.

"And I don't?"

Rei's jaw clenched and her nostrils flared as she drew in a deep breath. "It's our job to protect you."

Usagi sprang from her chair. "I don't need protecting!"

"Of course you do!" Rei shouted, stepping forward to meet her. "You're a walking disaster! It's a miracle that you haven't been killed yet. Do you honestly believe that you'd be standing here right now if you didn't have us to rely on? Keeping you alive is a full time job."

Frustrated tears pooled in Usagi's eyes as she opened her mouth to argue, but Rei didn't give her a chance. "You don't think so? What about Tuxedo Kamen? How many times has he had to swoop in and save you from certain death? He nearly died saving your life, Usagi, and now he's working against us." Eyes shining bright with emotion, Rei swallowed before continuing. "Your knight in shining armour has turned on you, and we're all you've got. We need to keep you safe, but we can't do that if you keep taking stupid risks."

Rei's scathing rebuke hit Usagi like a slap in the face, leaving her red-cheeked and speechless in its wake. The room went silent and the air crackled with animosity as the two girls glared at each other. No one stepped in, reluctant perhaps to get caught in the line of fire. Usagi wanted to fire back, wanted to dispute the harsh words, but to her great frustration no defence sprang to mind. Rei was right; everything she had said was true, and no amount of arguing would change that. A hot tear rolled down her cheek—the first of many, no doubt—and she swiped it away with a furious palm before pivoting toward the door. She had to get out of there. Immediately.

"I'm outta here," Usagi said, leaving no room for debate as she marched away. After stuffing her feet into her shoes, she cast an imperious glance over her shoulder at Rei, who hadn't moved.

"You are not walking me home."

The flames whipped toward her with alarming speed, hot, and hungry, and hell-bent on devouring her whole. Usagi fought to free herself from her restraints, but they held fast, refusing to give way. Before the blaze could consume her, strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her up against a warm chest, severing her bindings and whisking her away from danger in the span of a breath. Dazed by the narrow escape, Usagi reached out and grasped the lapels of a jacket. Recognition dawned swift and sweet as she gazed up at the familiar white mask in awe.

When they touched down to earth, he set her on her feet, and Usagi clasped her hands against her chest and whispered soft words of gratitude. He stepped closer and cupped her face in his warm hands, sending her heart racing even before he leaned in and grazed her ear with his lips.

"You're weak."

The mask dissolved, revealing blue eyes and the look of mocking disdain therein. Thrown by his withering gaze, Usagi staggered back and tripped over her own feet. The sound of sharp laughter punctuating her fall made Usagi's heart sink.

"You're clumsy."

Ashamed, she scrambled to rise, but the ground beneath her gave way, shifting into a sea of test papers. As she began to sink, angry red markings glared at her from all angles, taunting her with their belittling assessments. Usagi floundered in the demoralizing current, but like quicksand, the harder she fought, the faster she sank. Turning her gaze to her would-be saviour, she reached out a hand in desperation, but he made no move to come to her aid. His cold eyes narrowed in icy scorn before Usagi was pulled under.

"You're stupid."

She floated in a state of suspended animation, unable to breathe, until the sea of paper vanished all at once, sending her crashing to the floor. Sucking in several gasping breaths, Usagi pushed herself up on hands and knees and peered out into the black void that surrounded her. At first there was nothing. Then a pair of legs came into view. A second pair appeared, then a third. Dread settled in the pit of her stomach as they strode toward her, each coming to a stop directly in front of her. Usagi swallowed and looked up past their varying uniforms to their faces. Their face.

Three faces watching her. Weighing her. Judging her. All of them different. All of them the same.

"Odango."

"Sailor Moon."

"Serenity."

She shook her head. "That's not…that's not me. I'm Usagi." She looked around for support, but there was no one to turn to. No one to reinforce her claim. She was alone. "Just Usagi," she whispered, more to herself than the fearsome trio looming above. They stepped forward and crouched down in unison, surrounding her. When she tried to shrink away, a wall materialized at her back, blocking her escape.

"You're a failure."

"You're not enough."

"You never will be."

The words, unearthed from the deep recesses of Usagi's subconscious, sounded precisely as she'd imagined them, and felt a thousand times worse. Like a child, she pressed her hands to her ears to drown them out. To drown him out. But the words slipped past her feeble defence, penetrating her thoughts and echoing in her brain on an endless loop. Feeding her insecurities. Reinforcing her fears.

"Enough!"

A brilliant flash of light engulfed the void, infusing Usagi with warmth and banishing the darkness. When it dissipated, she was sitting on soft grass and Serenity was kneeling before her, her features pinched with concern. Usagi stared at the princess, dazed, before looking around. She was back in the garden, Serenity was with her, and they were gone.

He was gone.

Overcome with relief, Usagi reached out and grasped Serenity's arm in a desperate bid to anchor herself and banish the shroud of loneliness hanging over her heart. Serenity's anxious expression softened, and when she raised her free hand to cup Usagi's cheek, Usagi leaned in to the touch, glad of the soothing comfort it offered. As the furious rhythm of her racing heart began to ease, she focused on counting each beat until her pulse resumed a normal pace. Serenity sat there with her all the while in silent support.

Once Usagi's panic faded, awkwardness set in. She released Serenity's arm before reaching up to gently remove the hand from her cheek. "Thank you."

Serenity withdrew without protest, but her gaze remained solicitous. "You are easier now?"

Usagi nodded. "It was only a dream," she said, more to herself than to Serenity. The statement echoed in her mind like a mantra. Only a dream. Only a dream.

"Perhaps," Serenity replied, furrowing her brow, "but that makes it no less troubling."

Usagi drew her knees against her chest and said nothing. It hadn't felt like a dream, but this didn't feel like a dream either, so who was she to say what was real and what wasn't? The memory of those cold blue eyes—three sets of them—staring down at her in judgement had felt all too real. Each penetrating gaze had acted as a mirror, reflecting her many shortcomings. Weak. Clumsy. Stupid. Usagi had seen herself in their eyes, in his eyes, and she had never felt so worthless. Blinking away tears, Usagi laid her cheek upon her knees and hugged them to her chest.

"Tell me what has happened to engender this turmoil."

"What does engender mean?"

"Tell me what has upset you."

"I don't want to talk about it."

It was true, talking about the day's events was the last thing Usagi wanted to do. She had been reliving each painful moment in an excruciating loop all evening. Tuxedo Kamen's reappearance, the shock of his betrayal, Rei's harsh words. Usagi's stomach churned as another turbulent wave of emotions rocked her core. Budding hope, chilling fear, paralyzing disbelief, and crippling shame. She blinked again, but keeping her eyes dry seemed to be a losing battle.

The silence grew heavy and unnatural as it stretched on, and after a time Usagi looked up to see if Serenity had left, but the princess was still kneeling before her, looking as though she had all the patience in the world. For once, she wasn't pushing Usagi to talk, but was there really any point in silence when Serenity seemed to have a direct line to her thoughts? Usagi dug her fingers into the soft flesh of her calves and sighed. "Everything is so messed up. I want to fix it, but I don't know how." When tears escaped her eyes, she turned her watery gaze to the blue sky above. "I just want everything to go back to the way it was."

"That, I cannot help you with," Serenity replied. "Altering the flow of time is beyond our ken. My mother was the most powerful being this galaxy has ever seen, and even she could not reverse the course of fate. Only descendants of Chronos are gifted such power, and they would never break their sacred covenant." When Usagi's brow knitted in confusion, Serenity placed a hand on her knee. "There is no turning back the clock, but I can help you to move forward if you will allow me."

"I don't want your help," Usagi muttered, brushing Serenity's hand away. "You're the reason I'm in this mess. Everything was fine before you showed up."

Serenity's veneer of patience dissolved in an instant as her mouth twisted in a scowl. "Why must you deny me at every turn? All I wish to do is help you. I am your ally, yet you insist on treating me as your enemy."

Usagi slapped her hands down against the ground. "Because you've ruined everything!" The statement might have been unfair, but she was sad, she was angry, and she was looking for someone to blame. "You say you want to help me, but all you've done is make my life more difficult. So much has happened, so much has gone wrong, and I don't know what to do about any of it. I want to talk to the Senshi, but I'm afraid if I tell them about this, about you, they'll think I'm crazy.

"They're already treating me differently, like I'm some…some"—Usagi scrubbed a hand against her damp cheeks—"some weakling. I'm their friend, I'm their teammate, I can fight. Sure, I make mistakes. I'm not perfect, but I'm not hopeless either! I try my best, and I know I'm not as good as the others, but I'm out there with them all the same, doing my part." Her shoulders slumped as her anger began to subside. "I don't need them protecting me."

"It is their sworn duty," Serenity said with solemnity.

Usagi scowled. "I'm not their duty, I'm their friend."

Meeting the other Senshi, becoming part of a team, was what kept Usagi going day in, day out. Running into danger time and time again seemed a little less scary when there were others running in with you. It wasn't her burden to bear alone, they did it together as a team. As equals. Now, because of something she had no control over, they were sidelining her. Was she really so dispensable? Had they always felt this way? Was Serenity's arrival just a convenient excuse to bench her?

Usagi sniffled and turned a bitter gaze on the source of all her problems. "It's you they want to protect."

Serenity folded her hands in her lap and considered Usagi before responding. "I believe I am coming to understand your logic, however fractured it may be. You do not want to see your role diminished, and you fear that you have lost the respect of your peers. But if they are truly your friends, then you must acknowledge that they will always be concerned for your welfare, regardless of circumstance."

"This isn't just friends looking out for each other," Usagi grumbled. "I told you, they're treating me differently now."

"Things are different now," Serenity countered. "Whether or not you choose to accept that."

Usagi didn't want to be lectured, she wanted someone to agree with her, to see things her way. She wanted someone to take her side. Was that so much to ask for? "I don't want things to be different. I don't want anything to change."

Serenity softened at the small plea and returned her hand to Usagi's knee. "That is a natural response, but there is no stemming the tides of alteration. All you can do is accept this new reality; only then can you proceed forward."

Usagi didn't want to accept it. She wanted someone to cut her a break. Life as a teenage superhero wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Manga and TV had lied to her. The stories they told were always full of shiny, happy heroes laughing and joking and having a blast. The problems they faced were always solved within a few pages or a commercial break. Fictional heroines could ace a test, defeat a bad guy, and go on a romantic date all in one day. Why couldn't Usagi's life be more like that?

Why? Because that was fantasy, not reality, and Usagi had had her fill of the latter.

She should be trying on dresses with Naru, not transforming into a superhero. She wanted to laugh at Umino's latest gossip, not discuss battle strategy. And she would much rather spend her afternoons playing video games than fighting youma. She shouldn't have to lie to her family about where she'd been and what she'd been doing. She just wanted to be herself…plain, old Tsukino Usagi. Not a magical guardian, not a saviour of love and justice. Certainly not the reincarnation of an ancient princess. Just a normal, teenage girl who only worried about pop quizzes, getting detention, or what boy was more crush-worthy.

Usagi's thoughts turned to one boy in particular, and though part of her was making a valiant effort to repress all thoughts, feelings, and anxieties about said boy, another part of her was in desperate need of someone to confide in. "I saw him," she whispered, turning a haunted gaze on Serenity. "He was so cold…so different. The Senshi think the Dark Kingdom has him brainwashed."

Serenity eyed her with a shrewd gaze. "But you do not."

"Ami thinks it's the only likely explanation," Usagi hedged.

"Mercury always was exceedingly logical," Serenity said, dipping her head in a small nod. "But I found her superior intellect often blinded her in emotionally complex situations." Her expression grew wistful for a moment then hardened as she fixed an assessing look on Usagi. "I take it you have another theory."

Usagi did have her own theory, but she hadn't shared it with the Senshi. She hadn't been able to do so, for fear that saying it out loud would somehow make it true. Instead, she had let it linger in her mind, where it would slowly gnaw away at her until it consumed every last shred of her sanity. Should she tell Serenity now, or did the princess already know? What would she say, what would she think, if Usagi told her—

If Usagi told her—

"He found out Sailor Moon is just Tsukino Usagi, and he was so disappointed, he decided to join them." Usagi's confession was so thick with misery, she nearly choked on it. "He doesn't need to be brainwashed," she forced herself to admit, "because he hates me."

Whatever small amount of relief she'd been granted by unburdening herself paled in comparison to the crippling shame that seized her as soon as the words left her mouth. Unable to look Serenity in the eye, Usagi pressed her face against her knees and willed herself to disappear. Several torturous moments of silence passed, wherein she regretted ever having opened her mouth, before the gentle touch of a hand atop her head brought her self-pity to a halt.

Usagi raised her head by degrees, drawing out the moment in order to delay the inevitable reckoning awaiting her. The sight of Serenity's face, devoid of judgement and awash with compassion, was so wholly unexpected that Usagi came undone on the spot. Her face crumpled as a deep, guttural sob rose up from inside her and burst forth from her quivering lips. Serenity reached out, and Usagi let herself fall into the princess's welcoming embrace as she succumbed to anguish.

She had not been expecting kindness, but it was precisely what she needed. From the moment the rose had turned black—no, earlier than that—from the moment she had learned Chiba Mamoru was Tuxedo Kamen, Usagi had been plagued by self-doubt. She had adored Tuxedo Kamen ever since she'd first laid eyes on him, entertaining countless romantic fantasies about the dashing hero in the many months since their first encounter. Every time she had theorized about his secret identity, Usagi had cast any number of idealized candidates: Motoki, J-pop idol Suko Hideo, or the cute guy who worked weekends at her favourite ramen shop, to name a few. Naturally, in her fantasies they all fell madly in love with her the instant that they learned that he was Sailor Moon.

Not once had Usagi cast Mamoru as Tuxedo Kamen. Though she could boast of having a first class imagination, some scenarios were simply too far-fetched for even her to dream up. Case in point: Chiba Mamoru a.k.a Tuxedo Kamen discovers Tsukino Usagi is Sailor Moon, recants every mean thing he's ever said to her, and declares his undying love and devotion on the spot. Usagi's life was full of seeming impossibilities, but even her extraordinary reality had its limits.

Daydreams about Tuxedo Kamen had been her go-to avenue of escapism; a much needed perk from a job that demanded a lot and offered precious few benefits in return. But now her romantic hero had become yet another reminder of her own inadequacy.

Her friends thought she was useless and her long-standing crush was now her enemy. The pillars of Usagi's everyday life were crumbling one by one, and she was running out of places to seek shelter. Was it any wonder, then, that she was sitting here weeping in Serenity's arms? It was a strangely cathartic experience, pouring her sorrows into Serenity's brocaded bosom while the princess stroked her back and cooed kind nothings against her hair. After a week's worth of self-recrimination, being comforted by another version of herself felt like a small measure of self-love.

When the tears finally began to ebb, Serenity leaned back and took Usagi's face in her hands. "You and I do not know each other yet," she said in a voice that was kind but firm. "We may not be of one mind or heart," she continued, looking intently into Usagi's eyes, "but we share a soul. I see you, Tsukino Usagi. I see the deepest part of you, and there is nothing unlovable there. No one could hate someone who harbours a light as bright and beautiful as yours."

Usagi's eyes brimmed with moisture as Serenity's words wrapped around her poor, battered heart and eased some of her fears. Drawing in a deep breath, she blinked away her tears and offered Serenity a tremulous smile. "Thank you," she said before releasing her breath in a tired sigh. "I still don't know what to do. I know I have to save him, but how?"

Serenity released her face and gave her hands a bolstering squeeze. "Deep down, he is still your ally. You must appeal to that part of him. Find the goodness within him."

Usagi drew her lower lip between her teeth and frowned. "I'm not sure it's there. At first, I thought he was back…" She recalled the rush of exhilaration that had run through her when he'd rescued her, then her brow furrowed as the entirety of the memory played out in her mind. "But it wasn't real. He was just…"

Kunzite's words echoed in her thoughts. "Your plan has failed. You have lost the element of surprise." He'd been pretending, trying to catch her off guard. "He wasn't himself," Usagi said. "Not Tuxedo Kamen. Not Mamoru. He was someone else entire—" Her eyes narrowed and she looked to Serenity. "Kunzite called him Endymion."

Serenity drew a short breath as her gaze tracked past Usagi's face. "Endymion."

A light breeze rustled the leaves in the trees before the sweet scent of roses filled Usagi's nostrils. Hushed whispers sounded nearby, drawing her gaze. She turned and spotted Serenity and Endymion a short distance away. The pair stood facing each other, and judging by their tense expressions, they were in the midst of a difficult exchange. Usagi looked to her right, but Serenity was still there kneeling beside her. Usagi waved a hand in front of her face but Serenity didn't blink, didn't move. It was like she was caught in a trance…or a memory.

Usagi looked back to the pair of royals absorbed in conversation. Shadows, Serenity had called them. Not the term Usagi would use to describe the animated couple. She watched Serenity fold her arms across her chest as Endymion finished saying something before his mouth curved in a frown. Their hostile positioning was surprisingly reminiscent of some of her own encounters with Mamoru, and Usagi fleetingly wondered if Endymion had ever made disparaging comments about Serenity's hairstyle. She turned to ask, but the Serenity at her side was still unresponsive. Left to her own devices, Usagi rose to her feet and moved within earshot of the quarrelling pair.

"Be honest with me, Endymion," Serenity said. "If you would prefer that I stop coming here, say so. You needn't fabricate excuses—"

"I am not fabricating excuses to send you away, Serenity," Endymion insisted. When Serenity made to turn away, Endymion stopped her by reaching out and clasping her elbows. Usagi's own elbows tingled as a blush flooded Serenity's cheeks. "I would not lie to you, Princess. If the frequency of your visits relied on my preference alone, I would have more of them, not less."

Serenity's rigid posture softened in the wake of Endymion's earnest statement, and she uncrossed her arms. Endymion's hands fell away, though Usagi detected a brief flash of reluctance in his expression.

"If what you say is true, then the threat is credible?" Serenity asked. "Are you certain? I thought it was merely conjecture based on rumours…"

"There is no longer any doubt," Endymion replied. "Two of my men were approached in the span of a week. The rebels have grown bold enough to proposition members of the royal guard, which means Earth can no longer afford to dismiss this as a trivial matter."

"I could speak to my mother," Serenity offered. "She would certainly send aid if she knew—" Her speech halted when Endymion's features drew tight. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Serenity." Endymion looked as though he was bracing himself for something unpleasant. "The Moon's embargo of Earth precludes us from joining the Silver Alliance. There is no treaty to protect us. We cannot rely upon—"

Serenity waved a dismissive hand. "Those decisions were made ages ago, before we—" She paused, and Usagi spotted the hint of colour that rose in her cheeks. "Things were different then. If I tell my mother what you've told me, then she will have no choice but to revisit peace talks."

"Your optimism is admirable," Endymion replied, "but I think you may be underestimating the extent of Earth's enmity toward the Silver Alliance. That hostility runs deep, and you cannot discount the prejudices your people still hold against mine."

Serenity's hopeful expression wavered. "They're wrong," she said with quiet determination. "If they would just step outside of that glass bubble long enough to expose themselves to something new, then they would see what I have seen."

Endymion smiled and gazed down at Serenity's face with unguarded affection. "And what is that?"

Though her blush deepened, Serenity held his gaze. "A vibrant world, bursting with life and fresh possibility. I see the opportunity to grow and learn from new experiences and perspectives. I see the value in expanding our horizons and broadening our understanding of the unknown." She paused to draw in a shaky breath. "I see a united future built on mutual trust and burgeoning friendship…"

"Is that all?" Endymion teased, his eyes twinkling with mirth. Serenity's ears turned pink and she looked away, but when Endymion reached out and clasped her hands in his, her gaze returned to his face. Usagi flexed her fingers to dispel the odd tingling sensation in her own hands.

"Your vision is beautiful," Endymion said with sincerity. "Would that others could see the world through your eyes…I believe that many things would change for the better." When he paused to study Serenity's face, the hint of reverence in his gaze made Usagi's heart flutter. "I suppose one day that may indeed come to pass. I only hope that I will have the chance to see it."

"I hope so as well," Serenity said in a soft whisper.

Endymion's lips curved in a wistful smile. "I often forget what a long life you have ahead of you. I wonder…some day in the distant future, will you look back and remember your friendship with a lowly prince from Earth?"

Serenity went still, her features blanching, and Usagi suspected that the princess was seized with either indecision or fear—or both. It wasn't until Endymion's hopeful expression began to waver that Serenity seemed to rally. "Of course, I will," she said as a sanguine smile curved her lips, "because you will be there to remind me."

Endymion appeared startled by her response, but Serenity gave no indication that she regretted her words. Instead, she stared up at him with a look of fervent vulnerability that stole Usagi's breath. Endymion said nothing, but there was no missing the silent question in his gaze. Though Serenity's answering nod was almost imperceptible, it was enough for him, and he closed the distance between them with a single step. Lacing the fingers of one hand with hers, he pulled the other up to his chest and laid it there before cupping her cheek. Serenity curled her hand into a fist and leaned into the touch as Endymion bent his head toward hers.

Usagi's toes curled as Serenity rose up on tiptoe. Her breath hitched as Serenity pursed her lips. Her eyes widened as Serenity's lids fluttered closed. And then…

Usagi awakened to the sight of the moon shining through her window. Its soft glow illuminated the room as she looked around, disoriented and groggy. She was at home in her bed. Luna's soft weight rested on her feet while the muffled sounds of Shingo's snores sounded from his room next door. Usagi's gaze drifted back to the moon as the hazy memories of her dream stirred in her waking brain.

Above her head, the steady ticking of her alarm clock counted each passing second, serving as a sobering reminder that morning would come whether she was rested or not. What she wouldn't give for a full night's sleep, free from youma attacks and disturbing forays into her troubled subconscious. Rolling onto her side, Usagi forced all thoughts of Serenity and Endymion from her mind. They were only dreams, she reminded herself, they weren't real. But as she closed her eyes, her lips tingled, and when she pressed trembling fingers against them, they were moist.

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