Cuts of RWBY

A RWBY Fic Collection by AndrewJTalon

DISCLAIMER: This is a fan based work of prose. RWBY is the property of Rooster Teeth and ViZ. Please support the official release.

After saving the world, Team RWBY meets with some... Difficulties.

First part written by Titanmaster_117, next part written by me.

Chapter Text

Team RWBY's Quest for Minimum Wage Earnings

This, Ruby decided, was going to be the most difficult and deadliest mission of her life.

After everything that she's done, after everything that she's been through - losing her mother, the Battle of Beacon, seeing Penny and Pyrrha pass on, Haven, sending the message out from Atlas across the world, losing Penny a second time, drinking the tea in the Ever After, returning home and finally defeating Salem and destroying the Creatures of Grimm that were plaguing Remnant once and for all...

This was her most dangerous challenge yet-

"I said I wanted a hamburger with cheese, not a cheeseburger!"

-Not punching the lights out of the woman over the counter.

Yeah, as it turns out, the typical royalties that come with saving the whole dang world could only get you so far, and the members of Team RWBY ended up draining their bank accounts pretty damn quickly. Ruby blamed inflation. Others blamed the fact that the Schnee Dust Company had a monopoly on all aspects of the global economy which immediately crashed and plunged the world into a great depression once that same monopoly fell alongside Atlas. Ruby still blamed inflation.

So, Ruby and the rest of her team had to go out and find jobs. However, with the Grimm gone, there weren't that many jobs out there that required hyper-lethal killing machines with oversized mecha-shifting weapons of war. As it turns out, when your only marketable skills are being able to kill things and being able to kill things really good, it did not an appealing CV make.

So, Ruby and the others had been forced to get entry level jobs, all of them paying the bare minimum wage.

And honestly-

"Didn't you hear me?! I said I wanted a hamburger with cheese, not a cheeseburger!"

-Ruby was starting to wonder if Salem had a point to the whole 'Destroying all of mankind' thing.

"Ma'am," Ruby, wearing a hairnet, fast food resturaunt uniform, and an expression so tired and yet so manic that it looked like it could envoke madness in any poor soul who so much as glanced in her general direction, forced a smile onto her face as she looked at the very punchable woman across the counter, gesturing to the till next to her and the automatic screen on it, "You asked for a hamburger with cheese. The till automatically counts that as a cheeseburger-"

"Well I didn't want a cheeseburger! I wanted a hamburger with cheese!"

The very, very, very punchable woman.

"Ma'am, a cheeseburger is the same as a hamburger-"

"No it isn't! A hamburger doesn't have cheese on it!"

"Yes, but a cheeseburger is just a hamburger with cheese on it."

"No they're not, they're completely different!"

Ruby's eye twitched, "Ma'am, they're really not."

"Are you talking back to me!?"

Ruby's eye twitched some more, "No ma'am, I'm not. I'm just saying that-"

"You listen here, young lady! There's a massive difference between a cheeseburger and a hamburger! They use different recipes between them!"

They used the exact same recipe to make hamburgers and cheeseburgers. The only difference between the two is that they included the extra step of putting the plain slab of factory-made cheese on the patty before boxing it up.

Was the woman still rambling? Yep, she was still going, "-Different sauces between them! They use different buns and burgers and lettuces!"

They didn't. They used the exact same ingredients between the two of them.

"Ma'am, we use the exact same ingredients to make-"

"No you don't, you have different buns! They use special buns in the cheeseburgers to activate the cheese taste!"

…Ruby didn't even have the cranial capacity to understand what that meant anymore.

"Ma'am, please... we use the exact same-"

"No you don't, you use different ingredients to activate the cheese taste! I don't like those! The cheese taste is too much for me!"

"Then why don't you just get a regular hamburger-"

"Because I like the cheese!"

"But you just said that you don't like-"

"I don't like the cheeseburger buns when they activate the cheese taste!"

Could she please finish one of her damn sentences!?

Ruby looked for succour from her work colleague, but she was too busy looking on her scroll and loudly chewing on bubble-gum. When she eventually looked up from her scroll, she stared at Ruby, blew a bubble of gum out of her mouth, shrugged, and went right back to scrolling.

Ruby twitched. Not just her eye, but her entire body.

Think about the good times, think about the good times...

"Excuse me, I need my order now! I need it- no, I don't care if you're serving other people! I need my order now!"

"Hey, why does my burger only have two tomatoes on it! It's supposed to have three, not two!"

"Hi, I hope you don't mind, but my son just puked on the floor. And the table."

"Where's my sauce!?"

"Yeah, I think I may have accidently clogged the toilet. Also, I didn't wash my hands."

"Why does my drink taste like shit!? Here, why don't you have a taste of it!?"

"I WANT A NEW TOY! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!"

"HE WANTS A NEW TOY! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!"

…

Ruby was going to strangle someone.

"Ma'am, you are asking for a cheeseburger. A cheeseburger is just an ordinary hamburger with cheese on it. We don't use any different ingredients when making both-"

"Yes you do! I don't want a cheeseburger, I want a hamburger with cheese!"

Ruby was really going to strangle someone.

"Ma'am, the only difference between how a hamburger and a cheeseburger is made is that we put the cheese in the-"

"NO! Let me go back there and see how you make it! Let me go back there and see how you make it myself!"

Ruby was really, really, really going to strangle someone.

"Ma'am, please-"

"Let me speak to your manager!"

And that was the straw that broke the beowolf's back.

"THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HAMBURGER AND A CHEESEBURGER!" Ruby screamed like a banshee directly into a woman's face, "DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE REAL DIFFERENCE!? ONE OF THEM HAS A CRAPPY SLAB OF FACTORY-MADE, PROCESSED CHEESE ON A MICROWAVEABLE SLAB OF CRAPPY BACON MEAT THAT WE SHOVE INTO A BOX AND REHEAT IN AN OVEN! IF YOU REALLY WANT A PERFECT CHEESEBURGER OR A HAMBURGER WITH CHEESE OR WHATEVER, THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK HOME AND MAKE ONE YOURSELF!? OR BETTER YET, WHY DON'T YOU GO AND RUN A FUCKING MARATHON YOU STUPID FAT BITCH!?"

…

…

…

…

"Ruby Rose."

Ruby craned her head to the side to see her manager staring down at her.

"You're fired."

…

…

…

…

Ruby began to cry.

Her former co-worker continued to scroll and chew on her gum.

Ruby slunk back into Team RWBY's shared single bedroom apartment, not even bothering to change out of her ratty car boot sale clothes as she flopped down onto the equally ratty chair, not caring in the slightest that Weiss, dressed in her supermarket check-out worker uniform, was sitting there already, looking just as exhausted as she was.

"Long day?"

"Ugh," was all that Weiss could get out.

"Yeah..."

"Ugh?"

"I got sacked."

"Ugh..."

The door opened up again. In walked Blake, her waitress outfit stained with drink and what looked like cake stains and a shellshocked expression across her face. She also didn't bother changing as she reached the old sofa, curled up into a ball in front of it, and began to rock in place.

Ruby looked down at her, "Birthday party?"

"Birthday party..." Blake whined out.

Last to join them was Yang, who's hair and cleaner uniform was stained in a dozen different colours and emitting a dozen different smells that Ruby didn't want to think or know about. She didn't even bother reaching the chair. She just slumped down to the ground and sobbed to herself.

"Next time someone suggest taco night, I'm shoving a plug up their ass... never again, never again..."

Then, a letter slipped through the door.

Rent was due.

The rattly old sofa broke.

All four of them, enslaved by the monster that was minimum wage earnings, cried.

Jaune Arc checked the address. He looked at the apartment building that had definitely seen better days. He checked the address again. He shook his head.

He walked up to the door, and knocked on it. He waited.

The door opened a crack.

"H-Hey, so, um, the rent's gonna be a little late and I know you're angry but-"

"Ruby?" Jaune asked. The door fully opened. The girl's silver eyes widened. She was in nothing but her panties and what looked like her old uniform shirt from Beacon-Which had been patched several times.

"Jaune?!" Ruby gasped. Her face brightened, and she hugged him. "JAUNE!"

He hugged her back tightly, laughing. He swung her around. He then set her back down. Ruby pouted up at him.

"You keep getting taller! It's not fair!"

"Sorry, it's how it works," Jaune said with a shrug. Ruby beamed.

"What brought you here?"

"Oh, well, uh, my sister Lilac is finally getting married and I wanted to invite you all," he said, "I couldn't seem to find your Scroll number anymore, so I tracked you down."

"Ruby? Who is it?" Yang's voice echoed from inside. "If it's the landlady, I'll handle it! What's one more concussion to her-?"

She came around the corner and gaped. She too was in very little.

"J-Jaune!" Yang gasped happily. Jaune waved, keeping his eyes on her forehead.

"Hey Yang!"

"Jaune?!" Weiss gasped. She poked her head around the corner. Her eyes widened. She then sped up to him, dressed in a house dress that had seen far better days. "Please! Come in! Don't mind the mess! Or our state of dress! Have some tea!"

"Hey Weiss! I uh, sure, no problem...?" Jaune managed. He took in the state of their dwelling with a growing sense of disbelief every step he took. Spartan was a good word for it. Cluttered as well: Pieces of weapons, mending or drying clothes, and endless job applications. It was amazing how it seemed so barebones and so messy at the same time.

Blake was outside on the cluttered balcony, sunning herself in her bra and panties. Weiss scowled at her.

"Blake! We have a visitor!"

Blake rolled over and paid Jaune with an intense stare.

"Jaune?" She gasped.

"Ah, hey," Jaune said with a smile as Weiss set him down at their ragged table. Blake got up and pulled on her yukata-Which had also seen better days.

"What are you doing here? N-Not that it's not nice to see you, and all," Blake managed.

"It's amazing you know his name," Yang snarked, "Given how little you talked to him since we met."

"It's amazing you treat him nicely, given how you barely acknowledged his existence, too," Blake growled back. The two began to bicker as Weiss brought over some tea and Ruby sat with Jaune.

"They broke up, it was messy," Ruby confided in him. Jaune slowly nodded, and took tea from Weiss with a strained, polite smile.

"Ah. Thank you, Weiss."

"Anything for you, Jaune," Weiss said with a smile.

Jaune sipped the tea and hid his grimace-He'd had to endure his sister's experiments in tea for a long time, after all. An ironing board fell out of the wall, which Ruby caught just in time before it brained him.

"Ah, sorry!" Ruby said, shoving it back into place, "You okay?"

"Yeah, just fine," Jaune said with a smile. "I uh... So..." He looked around, "This... Doesn't seem like where I expected you all to be."

Blake and Yang paused in their fighting. Ruby's smile became very brittle. Blake coughed.

"Ah, well... I mean, with the Grimm vanishing and all... And my parents being voted out of office for gross incompetence..." Blake shrugged.

"What a shocker that was," Weiss snarked. Blake glared death at the Schnee heiress.

"Like you can talk! Your father's entire empire collapsed overnight and left you nothing!"

"Well-I-You-!" Weiss sputtered before she huffed.

"At the very least, we're not Yang and Ruby!"

"HEY!" Yang and Ruby growled.

"So what if he's a deadbeat?!" Yang demanded. "He wasn't pure evil OR a politician!"

"And I'm sure he's totally happy with that rich heiress who won't get bored of him when she gets out of her DILF fetish!" Weiss sneered.

"Why you-!"

Ruby cleared her throat. Very loudly. Yang and Weiss stopped but kept glaring at each other. Blake was also angry but kept silent.

"So... How are things with you?" Ruby managed with forced cheer.

Jaune sipped his tea and debated internally about how to break this... And decided to be tactful.

"I'm good. I'm almost finished with medical school, and my mom's got a residency lined up for me at our hospital," he said.

Four pairs of eyes all looked intently at him.

"You-You're a doctor?" Weiss sputtered.

"Well um, I got into medical school before I ran off to Beacon," Jaune said, "Pretty sure I mentioned it a few times?"

Blank stares. Even on Ruby. Jaune sighed.

Well, it's not like I remember everything they told me about their lives, right?

"But I wanted to be a Huntsman so bad... But uh, yeah. My Semblance makes it pretty easy, too. I've been staying at the family farm while I studied and I've also been working at the brewery."

"You... Your family owns a brewery?" Yang asked. Jaune nodded.

"Yeah. A big one. We expanded it along with the farm last year..."

"Oh... That... That's great, Jaune," Ruby said with a smile, "That's super great! Good for you!"

"Very," Blake muttered, staring at Jaune with a strange expression. Yang blinked rapidly, then looked to the side.

"So uh..."

"Um..."

"Er..."

Jaune looked at all the girls. He really did care for them, honest! Even after everything. How could you not be fond of the people you saved the world with?

"Right, well," Jaune coughed, "Like I said, I'm inviting you all to my sister's wedding." He held out the invitations. Each girl took one.

"Oh, wonderful," Weiss sighed, "I got to work a wedding once! I got to take home some of the cake leftovers... Er... Um..." Her eyes dipped.

"Least you got to keep your leftovers," Yang grumbled. "I came out of a cake at a bachelor party. Couldn't keep anything..."

Silence fell. The ironing board fell onto his head. Naturally, his Aura protected him. But as the ironing board had none, it snapped in two and fell to the floor.

"Oh no!" Ruby cried, falling to her knees. "I'm so sorry Jaune-Oh no! How do I fix this?!"

"We could steal the neighbor's ironing board," Blake suggested.

"They added more pitbulls," Weiss whined.

"And those bites hurt," Yang groaned.

Jaune finally came to a decision.

"You know what? There's a cottage on our land," he said, "That you all can stay in, since we've got so many guests in the house. It's small, but it has four bedrooms. You all can stay."

Four pairs of eyes again stared at him. Jaune smiled.

"I mean, you girls really could use a vacation, with how hard you've been working," he said, "And uh, you'll have to clean it and maintain it. And maybe do some chores around the farm. But other than that? You'd be fine to stay while you... You figure things out."

"We-We wouldn't want to impose," Weiss said, her manners coming into play, "Or be a-a burden-"

"Do you have hot water?" Yang asked, direct as always. Jaune nodded. Yang cheered. "YES! We're in! Um, for the wedding! N-Not that-I mean, work will just have to get along without us!"

"Weddings are more importan than our careers after all!" Blake nodded furiously. "We-We can help with that too!"

"Only if you want," Jaune said with a smile, "You're my guests, after all."

"Absolutely!" Weiss gushed. "I love weddings! Do you think I can keep leftovers?"

"All you like," Jaune said with a nod.

Ruby hugged Jaune tightly. She sniffled.

"Thank you," she whispered into his ear, "Thank you...!"

Jaune patted her on the back with a smile.

"Hey... We world-saving heroes have to stick together, right?"

After all, they were his friends. They'd been there for him in his darkest hours.

... Well okay, Nora and Ren had been there for him in his darkest hours. And sometimes Ruby and Yang. Once Weiss... Never Blake... But the point was, they were his friends, and he was definitely not going to let them stay in a ratty apartment if he could help it. Heck, being here with them like this? It felt like old times.

If he had to massage the truth a little to let them keep their pride? He would do it. It was worth it.

There was a very insistent knock at the door. The eyes of all four girls widened.

"Crap, it's the landlady!" Yang hissed.

"Out the back window!" Blake wailed. "Take everything you can carry!"

"Don't forget the coupons!" Ruby cried. "Or my tools!"

Yup. Definitely just like old times.