Of Swords and Redemption

by Saber is a Cutie

His performance had been flawless. His painstaking perseverance had produced the perfect product. But no one has ever spoken of what might transpire once the last light had dimmed, for to them, the stage is fleeting. For one such as Emiya Shirou, who has acted for far too long, even the path back offstage had faded into dust, buried by the sands of time.

3. Chapter 3

The rhythmic sound of steel on wood echoed within the empty room. The hands that meticulously and methodically moved up and down on the cutting board had a mind of their own, the body they were attached to not being truly present. My thoughts were elsewhere, as they always tended to be nowadays.

Cooking had been one of my more favorable past times at one point. It was a basic necessity of life, preparing food for consumption, but I had found that doing it for others brought about a small sense of satisfaction, one that helped satiate the constant emptiness within me.

Of course, that enjoyment had turned into nothing but bitterness on my lips in this new world. It had nothing to do with cooking itself; most activities had lost what little flavor they previously held. I was simply going through the motions right now, mindlessly and robotically following the procedures within my mind.

I didn't enjoy cooking, not in the slightest anymore, but even unsatisfactory actions had their use. I had once sworn to help out around the household, a small repayment to the Greyrats for having taken care of me all these years. The food they gave me, the clothes that covered me, and the roof that sheltered me were all theirs, and even if the exchange was still unwholly unequal, these small gestures helped to tip the scales. Thankfully, my skills were still up to par.

By taking care of such menial and mundane tasks, I hoped to help alleviate some of the stress and burden off Lilia and Zenith. It was mainly for Zenith's benefit admittedly, the poor woman showing more and more signs of being overwhelmed. Whatever demons she was battling in her mind, she was clearly losing her fight. The dark bags underneath her eyes and unkempt, frizzy hair were now near-permanent features marring her once lovely countenance. She was staying up later as well, my training sessions having been delayed more often due to being able to sense her pacing erratically around the house, patrolling the first floor like a restless dog. Inevitably, she would return back to her room, or on the rare occasion, pass out slumped on a chair she dragged over to the window, her position indicating she had been stargazing before slumber had overtaken her.

It was a concerning issue at this point. I wasn't sure how much longer she could endure the unforgiving circumstances thrust upon her. Having to parent a child all by her lonesome was an impossible task, one that she had taken on regardless. It was an admirable effort, but ultimately, she was only human, and without the man she had sworn herself to, she was only one half of a whole.

Paul's absence wasn't the true cause of this dilemma either. For all his faults, and there were definitely plenty of them, I couldn't condemn his actions. Zenith had the benefit of having carried me for her pregnancy, and that physical bond was one of the foundations for her motherly relationship with me. It wasn't something that could be easily described or replicated. Paul didn't have the luxury of motherly instincts to guide his feelings, so my alienating appearance wasn't something he could easily overlook.

And perhaps that was the most tragic aspect of this issue. There was no villain here, no evil doer to pin the blame on. The Greyrats were simply humans following what they believed was right, and their actions made logical and emotional sense from their perspectives. I couldn't judge them for anything, the two parents just trying to navigate an unprecedented and unsolvable problem.

I held up my right hand, the kitchen knife looking oversized in my four-year-old hands. Calloused fingers turned the knife over until the flat of the blade was directed towards me, my reflection shining in the sharpened steel of the tool.

My appearance was becoming more and more pronounced, my soul shaping this body to a near mirror image of my previous one. The tufts of auburn hair that had created a divide within the household had grown out a few inches over the years, and now a crown of crimson strands sat on top of my head.

This form was the cause of so much unnecessary trouble. Even by doing nothing, I managed to make matters worse, throwing the entire order of things into disarray. In another time, I'm sure Paul and Zenith were happily living out their lives with a normal son, but fate had decided to curse them in this life.

Fingers twirled, and the knife blurred in a spin until its end was now pointed squarely at me, the sharp edge resting dangerously against my neck. One quick flick and it would be all over. The neck held all sorts of veins and arteries; even the slightest of movements could end up severing any one of the vital lifelines and cutting this reincarnation short. It was an alarmingly tempting prospect. One troublesome life ended for me, and one problematic child removed for the Greyrats. It was a fair exchange, a rare situation with both sides greatly benefiting from the exchange.

I sighed, putting my hand down and stabbing the knife into the cutting board.

I couldn't do that. I still had answers to find and a journey to complete. If Illya and I reunited prematurely, I'm confident that she would kick me back down to the land of the living under the pretense of "cheating".

Realizing that lamenting my current circumstances would lead to nowhere, I turned my attention back to the task at hand. An array of meats and vegetables were sorted into various plates and bowls in front of me. Thankfully, most of this new world's flora and fauna were the same or had similar equivalents, so the sudden transition didn't impede my ability to prepare meals.

The large spread of food in front of me was an unusual sight for most of the world. Apparently, arable farmland for crops and farm animals was a quickly diminishing resource in the world due to the large number of monsters running around. Finding and stabilizing an area long enough to grow food stretched the available manpower and resources dangerously thin. Luxuries such as meat required even more space and the food necessary to feed them, so those options only truly existed for the powerful and wealthy. The exception to these trying times seemed to be the humble village I was raised in, which had miraculously stayed monster-free. The hunters in the village were all able to find amble food in the surrounding forest, and the vast expanses of farmland in the village were always filled with fresh crops in the warmer months. I had learned this from Zenith, who, ever the magnanimous soul, had let slip a few details when she complained about how hard it was to send food and supplies to other neighboring villages due to the danger of monster attacks along the main travel routes. That along with some occasional gossip I heard from the Greyrats or the other village residents, and it wasn't hard to piece together an image of the outside world.

"Master Shirou."

Measured steps clacked against the wooden floor, and Lilia entered the kitchen with grace befitting the diligent maid. She took a look at the arrangement of food on the kitchen table, and I could see the struggle between gratitude and resignation in her eyes before the woman decided that some things came first and walked over to me.

"Master Shirou, I do recall Lady Zenith requesting for you to stop helping around the house so much."

"Sorry," I apologized, "but I just wanted to take care of some chores for you two. I know how hard it can be, so I wanted to chip in a bit."

Lilia's face twisted into a grimace. "That might be true…" The woman picked up a bowl of stew, her eyes widening in pleasant surprise as the aroma of the dish wafted throughout the room before she quickly reined herself in and walked back to the dining room to set it upon the table. "But regardless, Lady Zenith has expressed her dissatisfaction towards your assistance. As—" she took another plate and swooned at the smell" —helpful as you might be, Zenith is still my employer and the head of the household."

I raised an eyebrow at her statement. "Isn't that Paul?"

She smirked. "That's what he wants you to believe," she answered curtly. "In any case, Zenith has indicated that she has sorely missed being in the kitchen. It's an almost primal need for young mothers to nurture their young. Nature has perpetuated this cycle since time immemorial and will continue to do so for eternity." She paused, cocking her head to the side, putting a finger to her chin. "Besides, shouldn't a child such as yourself be more inclined to pursue other matters? I'm sure there's plenty of other children for you to play with in the village."

No thanks. It was hard enough to interact with these adults. There was simply no way I could naturally mingle with kids more than half my age. It would be the same as a child trying to talk to adults. I would stick out like a sore thumb.

"I'd much rather stay in the house. I'd like to make yours and Zenith's life as easy as possible. I have to earn my keep, you know?"

Lilia put another plate down on the table before twisting her head and gazing at me out of the corner of her vision. "That's admirable, but still…" She sighed, enough lethargy infused in her breath to put infants to sleep. "I'm sure Paul and Zenith aren't going to charge their son rent, " she said, holding a hand to her head.

It was a scripted conversation. We've had similar disagreements in the past, both Zenith and Lilia regarding my need to help them. I've always stubbornly held my ground, and this debate was no exception.

"Are you going to stop calling me 'Master'?"

"Of course not. You are the son to the lord and lady of the household, and thus you deserve the respect that comes with such a title."

The title she gave me left a bitter taste in my mouth, even more so with the clear respect in her voice when it left her lips.

"Then you have your answer."

Lilia let out another sigh, another defeat in her attempts to stop me from assimilating part of her maidly duties. Recognizing I was stalwart in my decision, she placed the rest of the prepared food on the table, the myriad of plates and bowls covering the entirety of the large dining table.

It was a sight that would have left the mouths of the less fortunate drooling with desire and their eyes darkening in resentment and envy. I could not blame them; the food on the table was merely breakfast for the Greyrat household, but it would have been enough to feed a small family for a day in the more monster-stricken areas of the world, I presumed. It wasn't just quickly prepared proteins and vegetables either. It was a full meal cooked over the span of a few hours, complete with carefully chosen ingredients and spices in order to balance and complement flavors. Most people did not have the luxury of being able to choose what they wanted to eat, forced to use whatever was available to them.

Lilia took a spoon and dipped it into one of the small bowls of soup I made for the Greyrats. Wiping a strand of hair from her face, she placed the sample into her mouth.

"How refreshing," she noted, a small smile blossoming on her lips. "Light and flavorful, but not overpoweringly so. A slight acidity to enhance the other tones, and not enough fattiness to feel heavy after the meal. I must say: your skills are truly exceptional. Have you given thought to becoming a chef in the royal courts? The people there are a bit unsavory, but I have no doubt that they would compensate you handsomely for such delicacies."

I laughed off her praise. "You think too highly of me. I only am just copying what you and Zenith do."

Lilia raised an eyebrow but didn't comment further, taking the time to instead scoop another spoonful of soup into her mouth, a quiet moan rumbling in her throat. She put down the spoon finally, but from her face, I could tell she did so with immense reluctance.

Well, as overly rehearsed as the previous disagreement was, I'm glad it wasn't outwardly caustic or explosive. Nothing like Zenith and Paul's previous arguments. Lilia was as stiff as ever, but over the past few years, she loosened up slightly. I can still tell there's a bit of hesitation in her eyes, but now I could actually hold her gaze for a while until she breaks away in obvious discomfort. Perhaps the constant exposure to my presence forced her to acclimate to whatever she was feeling before, but it still didn't really explain her respectful and polite demeanor towards me. A part of that was her professionality, but interacting with me more than what was strictly required wasn't in her job description. There was a certain warmth to her, not like Zenith's, but I still couldn't explain it. Perhaps she was a tsundere after all, but she was a bit different from the one I was used to.

The sound of the stairs creaking grabbed both of our attention. Apparently, our discussion was loud enough to reach the master bedroom upstairs, as Zenith made her way down. The woman was obviously tired; her shoulders were slumped, and the slouch she carried made her seem even smaller and more shrunken than usual. Her eyes were sullen and sunken, the dark bags underneath them contrasting sharply against her pale skin. Her hair was in a lazy, half-done bun, stray strands falling down onto her face.

Evidently, last night was not kind to her, nor any of the previous ones for the past few years. In fact, it might have been getting worse.

To her credit, the jovial woman immediately bounced back, though the mask she put on did little to deceive me, or Lilia for that matter judging from the pitying look she casted at her employer. "Oh, did Shirou cook again?" Her smile was a bit crooked, but she did well to hide the exhaustion. She took a spoonful of the same soup Lilia had sampled earlier, peering deeply into the liquid as if she was trying to find life's answers from her reflection before she put the spoon into the mouth. "Ah, it's much better than mine. I didn't even know you could make these kinds of flavors. My pride as a woman, broken by a child…" The smile enlarged, but her eyes remained the same.

"I learned from the best," I explained.

"You're talented," she corrected. "There's only so much you can learn from just watching Lilia and I." She gestured to the table full of food. "There's learning from watching, and then there's this."

I nodded once, acquiescing the point to her but choosing to not follow up on it. "I made some food for Paul as well for later in the day. It's boxed and bagged in the kitchen." Paul may have been questionable, but I don't think he was truly all bad. Besides, helping the Greyrats included him as well. I've been cooking for all of them for a while now, so it wasn't out of the ordinary.

Zenith sighed, looking at the prepared lunch from across the room. "I swear, that man will make a big fuss about it as he always does, but he'll still eat it in the end. Why can't he just be honest about things?" She tilted her head in thought, pondering about something before she sighed again. "Whatever, I never know what's going on in that head of his anyway.

She stopped herself from saying anything more before panning over to Lilia, who was not so discretely trying to avoid her sight. "Lilia, I thought you were supposed to be making breakfast today?"

"I apologize, Lady Zenith. Master Shirou woke up earlier than I anticipated."

"Earlier than you?" She turned around back to me confusedly. "Shirou, are you… are you sure you're getting enough sleep? " Her voice was hesitant, trembling slightly as anxiety crept over her face again.

Ah, that was a slight oversight. When was the last time I had even slept? A few days ago? Maybe even a week? I had taken to the habit of using reinforcement to forgo sleep altogether to make more time for training. After my training session last night had extended into this morning, I had decided to jump straight into making breakfast for the household. I forgot to consider that most children my age slept long hours as their bodies were still in the developmental stages.

"Of course I do. I sleep enough," I answered. I wasn't sure how long I could go without sleeping, but so far, there have been no noticeable side effects.

Zenith blinked once at me, judging the veracity of my words before speaking again, "I see. Well… just take care of yourself, okay?"

I internally raised an eyebrow.

Have I been doing something she deemed dangerous? Knowing her, Zenith was just being a concerned mother.

"Of course."

Zenith hummed thoughtfully before sighing and sitting down at the dining table.

"Well, come on, with so much food here, it's going to get cold if we don't start now." Zenith scanned the table, looking for the most appealing dish to eat. Idly picking at some meat and eggs, she instead turned towards some fried rice before finding that unappetizing as well.

Lilia wordlessly rolled her eyes, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye before walking towards the woman before picking up her still empty plate. With speed and efficiency befitting a servant more than a human, she picked up a utensil and placed a healthy sample of multiple dishes onto Zenith's plate. Her arm blurred at comically fast speeds as Zenith could watch blankly as the empty wooden plate was now topped with a varied mix of portions from multiple dishes. As diligent as ever, Lilia made sure that the plate was loaded with a nutritionally balanced array of food.

"Lady Zenith, your son has thoughtfully prepared an extravagant feast for you. Please do not let his efforts be in vain," she admonished gently.

I was surprised. I did not figure Lilia to be the type to cross the line of professionality between the two. The woman tended to be curt and polite, focusing on her duties above all else. Or perhaps she had been encroaching further and further over that line, and I had never noticed until such a blatant display was shown right in front of me.

Zenith flushed, her pale cheeks a rosy red. "Sorry, I wasn't as hungry as I thought." She looked over to me, keeping me a small, apologetic smile.

Lilia gave her a look. "Regardless, you still need to eat. You've been eating less recently. I can see you've been losing weight." Now that I looked a bit closer, Zenith did seem more malnourished as of late. Her petite body was even smaller than before, and those thin arms looked more akin to twigs of bone than limbs. Her face was more defined, but only because there was little muscle or fat to soften the harsh lines of bone underneath the skin. If what Lilia said was true, then Zenith not eating properly would certainly lead to such a sorry state. "Please, this household depends on you. It is your duty to take care of yourself."

A smile tinged with bitterness spread across Zenith's lips. "Duty, huh?" She tentatively picked up a spoon, dipping it into the same bowl of soup that Lilia had sampled earlier before giving it a small taste. "It's good," she noted. Her face was unsurprised, as expected since she's already tried my cooking many times before. However, there wasn't any pleasantness to be found in her facial features, as if she was simply commenting on the weather. "It's far better than mine if I'm being honest."

"I disagree." My memories of it were faded and vague, but the feelings I felt when I had Zenith's cooking were not fully forgotten. In comparison to mine, and it was obvious what my cooking still lacked.

"Well, I suppose I can't complain," Zenith admitted, ignoring my statement. "Shirou cooks. Shirou cleans. All without complaint too. I barely have to do anything."

The wonders of having lived alone for most of my life. Self-sufficiency was a necessary skill.

"It leaves plenty of time to relax, I imagine," I hinted, not so subtlety steering the woman towards that direction.

"I suppose," she answered simply. "Anyway, where's Paul? Isn't today his turn to patrol? He needs to eat soon or else he's going to starve and die to a pack of assault dogs."

"Lord Paul is still resting. Don't worry, I will remain here to reheat food for when he wakes. I'll be sure to give him his afternoon meal as well." Lilia nodded towards me, a gesture I reciprocated. Curt and professional, a stellar combination.

The fact that Zenith still held some worry for Paul was a good sign. Progress was still a bit slow, considering they are largely ignoring each other during the time I'm with them. I'm not sure what happened when I wasn't around, but it couldn't have been all bad if matters hadn't completely broken down between the two.

I mentally sighed. I was woefully unsuited for this type of problem solving. The challenges I knew how to overcome involved me stabbing many bladed objects until whatever was causing the issue disappeared. Mediating domestic matters was unfortunately far out of my area of expertise. Nevertheless, I caused this problem, so it was my obligation to fix it. Zenith and Paul were a perfectly normal couple before my birth here. Had I been another child, I doubt something like this would have happened. This drift between them occurred because of me, so the burden of resolving it was on my shoulders.

"Please go easier on Paul. I'm sure he doesn't have it easy," I said.

Possible scum he might be, but Paul did not exactly lead an easy life. Complications of raising a reincarnated human aside, Paul was still the guardian of this village and regularly went out on patrols. Even if the area was mostly safe, he still risked his life almost daily. I wonder what Zenith's reaction would be if Paul came back heavily injured from an encounter with a monster. Or worse—if he didn't come back at all.

Perhaps an incident such as that might finally be able to pierce through the cloudiness within her mind and give her the answers she sought. Humans often find their resolve in the most strenuous of circumstances, and seeing her husband in such a state could give her the awakening she needed.

Zenith hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe, but it's more complicated than that."

I'm sure it was, but they needed to start somewhere. Zenith and Paul were both acting indignant, but they clearly still held enough feelings for each other. It was awfully tempting to see if I could lock them in a room until they made up.

Silence reigned over the room as the conversation died out. Zenith returned to prodding at her food, slowly picking at the pile on her plate before she intermittently took small bites out of it. It seemed that she was content to be lost in her thoughts. That was fine; there was no use in forcing anything. Matters such as this had to be fixed naturally or else the opposite effect could happen.

Lilia stared pointedly at Zenith before walking to the other side of the table across from Zenith. She gathered her own fair share of food onto her plate, looking at it once questioningly before committing herself to the act and diving in. It was baffling how she managed to remain so refined while stuffing her face. It reminded me almost of how Saber had gorged down enough food to feed a dozen men in a single night while miraculously retaining her dignity as a king in the process. Almost—the King of Knights was on another level entirely since she had to eat copious amounts of food to regain her depleted mana reserves.

Lilia noticed me looking at her, and I could see the urge to flinch away in her eyes before she pushed it away. The maid rigidly nodded her head—a gesture of acknowledge and thanks, I presumed—then proceeded to continue finishing her meal.

A small sensation of amusement rose within me. Honestly, this family was quite bewildering. All that was missing was Paul coming down to try his best to ignore me. As was the case since I was born, everyone seemed to be on eggshells, and there was definitely something lurking beneath the surface on all these interactions. As for what, I couldn't decipher, but I couldn't let my lack of knowledge stop me. Helping out with these gestures such as cooking them food was the only thing I could really do, so it stood to reason I had to be firm about it regardless of their insistence.

I walked around to my own spot on the table, the seat at the far end closest to the door implicitly reserved for me. Sitting down on the boosted seat, I gathered a modest serving of the food I had cooked. I took a small sip of the soup Lilia and Zenith had tasted before, bringing the hot broth to my mouth and giving it a quick sip.

How bland. It was nothing special in my eyes; flavor had lost all meaning to me, no matter how skillfully the dishes were prepared. It was ironic that despite being told I was a masterful chef, I was the only one not privy to the fruits of my labors. Still, despite food being mainly used for its nutritional value, only a few minor adjustments in preparation yielded something that made others happy, so that was enough for me.

I looked straight across to the seat on the other end of the table. It was empty, its typical occupant still asleep upstairs. He's been staying in later more often lately. Perhaps his patrols were increasing in intensity? Or maybe the issue lay on the other end of the spectrum, and it was his thoughts keeping him awake? Regardless, the man tended to avoid everyone else in the household anyway, so his absence wasn't a surprise.

The next pair of seats were Zenith and Lilia's, the two women of the house sitting across from each other. They were still closer to Paul's end of the table, leaving my half of the table and its last remaining pair of chairs empty. Speaking of which, Zenith and Lilia seemed to be engaged in a staring contest of sorts. Shades of blue clashed in the silent room, the clattering of utensils against wood having stopped some time ago. From the look of things, Lilia definitely had the decisive edge; Zenith's blue orbs buckled and trembled as her face morphed into one of doubt and indecision. Finally, after a few tense moments, the tired woman folded and yielded entirely, closing her eyes and letting out a sigh.

"Shirou."

Her voice pierced through the silence of the room, but despite the commanding tone, just that singular word seemed to have aged her a decade. Still, it was assertive enough that I was immediately wary of her next words. There were a few times I had heard my name being uttered in a similar manner, and the proceeding conversation had never been entirely pleasant.

"Yes?"

"We… we need to talk." Her eyes quickly flickered to the side, catching Lilia's gaze for a moment before returning them towards me. "It's about all this." Zenith gestured to the table of food in front of us, a meal the less fortunate parts of the world would have killed to have. "You said you wanted to help, right?"

"Correct." As meager as it was, this was the only way I knew how to do things.

Zenith looked down, her hands clenching into fists in her lap. "You… you don't need to do that. Not anymore."

"Is the food not to your liking?"

"No, not that. It's… it's wonderful, really. But... didn't I say you should be leaving these kinds of things to Lilia and me…?" She was hesitant, almost frightened, as if she was carefully defusing a bomb that could explode at any moment. Every word that came out of her mouth was said with no small amount of consideration, and I could tell this conversation was something she had been thinking about for a while now.

"You did, yes." Just like Lilia had done so before, Zenith had brought up her concerns about my habits. However, just like Lilia, I had mostly brushed her off. It wasn't out of disrespect, of course, but their reservations stemmed out of concern for me. I couldn't fault them for it; in their eyes, I was only a child, and adults tended to have a natural instinct to protect the young. Still, I couldn't abide by that kind of logic. I didn't need their concern. It was a bit callous, but I was far from a child. Gently rebuking them would suffice for now, and hopefully over time, they would learn that this was something I would not budge on. And in addition to that… "I just want to help. You've been more tired lately. I thought I could make you feel better by doing more around the house. If I cook and clean more, maybe it could help with your stress, right?" I looked up at Zenith, my eyes digging into hers as I evenly explained my logic.

She broke my gaze, shifting uncomfortably in her seat as a storm of emotions clouded over blue orbs. "You're… not wrong, but still—I can't accept that. You're… you're just a child still. You should just be enjoying your childhood, nothing else—not all this." The strength behind her eyes wavered but held, her resolve adding credence to her words.

I frowned internally. She was certainly being more persistent than usual. I had to give her credit—her words were genuine, and if only for a slight moment, I could feel the fluttering of something within my chest before I stamped it out. Yet, as moving as they were, it was nothing I hadn't heard before. I didn't change my answer then, and I wouldn't change it now.

"It's not wrong to help others." To repay their kindness, to not be a burden, to start doing something with my life, I was willing to stand out this much.

"You're right," Zenith conceded with a nod. "Being kind is a good thing. I appreciate the help, and Lilia won't admit it, but she does too."

"Then where's the problem?"

"You're four, Shirou! You should be more like a kid. You should enjoy life, not cooping yourself up in this house. I get that you want to help, but there are things I have to do myself, you know?"

I flinched, the last words of a bloodstained girl echoing in my head.

Zenith got up, her legs wobbling as she walked over to me before kneeling next to me. I craned my head, surprised that she was willing to confront me so brazenly when the woman had been content to leave things as they were before. With my small stature, her head was level with mine, and mirrors of azure reflected my own dull bronze orbs back at me.

"The world, it's a terrible place, Shirou," Zenith said somberly. "That's why we want you to be a child with a normal childhood, nothing like what Paul and I experienced when we were growing up."

The pressure to carve out your own happiness in a world of strife and misery… I could respect that wish. I looked away from her. The pressure of those ocean blue eyes was soul-crushing, and I fought to keep my breathing even as pangs of guilt stabbed me over and over.

Zenith took my silence as a sign of acquiescence.

"Paul and I, we didn't have you so you could so something for us. We had you so we could do something for you."

I didn't know how to reply to that. Her words sucked the air out of my lungs, taking all the fight out of me. My eyes widened in surprise, and I was speechless at the meaning behind her words.

Slowly, Zenith's arms rose until her hands were resting on my shoulders. Once again, she fixed me in place with pools of blue, and no matter how much I willed it, my head would not turn away from her gaze. She took a breath, steadying herself, a small reprieve I was grateful for so I could reestablish myself.

And then Zenith smiled, and I involuntarily gasped as my heart skipped a beat. It was as if the angels themselves blessed her existence at that very moment. There was no shred of disingenuity I could find, not a single iota of falsehood on her face. It was the smile of someone with no regrets, made with every ounce of feeling within herself, not of love for herself, but for the person she was looking at.

It was confusing. I had done nothing to warrant her affection. She had nothing to be grateful for.

I knew that smile. I had seen it before on a husk of a man. I inadvertently closed my eyes, and before I could stop it, my mind flashed back all those years ago to that fateful night.

Fire as far as the eye could see. A sky of blood red blanketing the area. Corpses littering the ground, bent in gruesome positions as their last moments approached.

It was hell.

There was no salvation to be had.

And yet, despite it all, there was a singular ray of hope. A shining light amidst the sea of despair. A star sparkling in the darkness, as golden as the light he held in his hands. It was the smile of a man above me, clutching onto my raised arm as if his very life depended on it. Rivers of tears ran down his face as he breathlessly thanked me over and over for merely existing.

It was the gratitude of a man who had nothing, pursuing an ambition that betrayed him time and again. He had lost everything, his ideal turning to ashes in the very fire he had created and coming apart in his grasp. In the end, the only thing he could save was the broken boy he had found amidst the ruins of his dream.

"I'm guessing you're mulling over it?"

The sudden words snapped me out of my reverie. Fire and blood faded away to reveal the familiar kitchen I was standing in, as well as the source of my musing.

Kiritsugu's smile had been one born out of salvation from tragedy. Zenith's felt… similar, yet not quite the same. Not in a bad way, just ever so slightly different.

Even looking at it right now, it was hard to decipher. Her smile made something in my chest stir in a way that brought back memories of times far behind me. It was both pleasant but uncomfortable, an inexplicable amalgamation of emotions covering my heart. Every time I looked at her, her image was buried under flashes of Kiritsugu's face and promises of heroism, the very oath I had failed to uphold.

It was an ironic twist of fate, a laughable development in the script I was given. During that night all those years ago, it had been me who had made that request to Kiritsugu. He never wanted me to be a hero of justice, but to repay the man who had saved me, to be granted a sliver of the salvation he had uncovered, I willingly chose to take up the mantle he had carried before.

To be here now, to be requested to revoke the vow I undertook back then, to be nothing more than myself… my soul fluttered at the thought. It was oh so alluring, the seductive call of temptation—the almost irresistible pull to take the hand that reached out to me. It was an offer so enticing that it could coax the strongest of men, an invitation tantalizing enough to make angels fall from the high heavens and paint their wings black.

But I couldn't be selfish. Even if this was the last chance I would ever get. I couldn't afford to falter here.

"I don't promise anything."

Perhaps, in another time, in another life, in another world, with them. Redemption had been possible for me once, but it had slipped away. These hands were destined to never hold anything.

Hurt and disappointment flashed across her eyes. "Well, just think on it, okay?" Zenith seemed to accept my answer and walked back to her spot on the dining table. The strength she had mustered before was gone, and she was noticeably deflated.

"Well, even so, I would like for you to get a head start. I believe the weather is quite nice today. Go enjoy yourself out there. We'll take care of things here."

I looked off to the side towards Lilia. In my earlier surprise, I didn't even get the chance to see her reaction. It was fading now, but I could still see the remnants of surprise in her expression. Surprise, but there was no small amount of pride mixed in as well.

Ah, so that's how it was. It seemed that my earlier hopes had been fulfilled right underneath my nose. In any case, I was glad that Zenith had found someone to lean on. With that in mind, I wasn't needed here any longer. It was time to make my exit.

"Okay, I'll go outside and explore around for a bit."

This was a good chance to learn the lay of the land as well. Before, I had been tied up next to Zenith, but this opportunity of unrestricted freedom was too good to pass by.

"You… will…?"

Both Lilia and Zenith looked dumbstruck at my response. Their eyebrows must have disappeared somewhere in their hair, and Lilia's mouth was even agape slightly, an unsightly gesture by the normally refined maid. Had she maintained it for any longer, I was worried a fly or two might have flown inside. The spoon Zenith had been holding onto clattered against the wooden bowl as her fingers slackened unexpectedly, letting the utensil fall and sending a few stray bits of food onto her person.

"Did… you not want me to…?" I asked inquisitively.

Zenith immediately waved her hands in a vaguely placating manner.

"No, no, no—I am completely fine with that! Yes, yes, please do!" She punctuated her point by nodding up and down rapidly, and I looked at the woman as if she had sprouted a second head. Eventually, I sighed, giving up my attempts to fathom her strange behavior. Women, despite being constantly surrounded by them, I was no closer in reaching any sort of understanding.

I ate a few more bites of the food I had made, not finding it appetizing enough to finish the plate. It was fine; I had more than enough nutrients to sustain me. It's not like I was expecting much to happen anyway.

I got off the chair and walked towards the door, opening it before looking back at the two women still at the table.

"Well, I'll be off now. I'll be back sometime later."

I didn't know how long this excursion would take. It was best to be vague about these sorts of things.

Realizing I was about to leave, both Lilia and Zenith jumped out of their chairs to stand by the door, as if they were cutting off my escape and corralling me outside.

"Don't worry, we'll be fine. Oh, and don't go around being a busy body around the village! Go have fun and explore, or whatever it is kids these days do. As long as it's not here."

Well, I didn't have any intentions of running errands for people anyway.

"Oh… and um… Take care!" Zenith shouted, waving goodbye as I stepped outside. I looked back at her, giving her a curt nod before closing the door behind me.

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"Are you sure it was wise of you to send him out?"

The casual question cut through the silence between the two women, who had previously been content to wordlessly continue with their meal.

Zenith gave the woman a sideways glance. "What do you mean?" she asked, though she gave the conversation a half-hearted effort as she continued chopping various ingredients.

"You've never sent him out like that before," Lilia said. She took another spoonful of the soup Shirou had made, savoring the unique flavor before giving it an approving hum. "It was his idea in the first place, yes, but now you will have no idea what he'll be doing."

Zenith grimaced at the thought but held firmly. "It's fine. Not much happens around here anyway. I don't think he'll be running into any monsters or bandits as long as he stays nearby."

"You think a child will know such logic?"

The blonde woman rolled her eyes. "I think you and I both know he's far too smart for his own good."

Lilia nodded her head at that. That child was truly a confusing one.

Still, that was not what she had been referring to. If Zenith would not be entirely forthcoming with her, then it seemed that she would have to cut directly to the heart of the matter. As lovely as the soup was, she was beginning to tire of it, and so she put it off to the side. The maid felt slightly regretful discarding the boy's hard work, but she appreciated the sentiment behind the gesture at the very least.

Lilia leaned forward, fully looking at her employer and friend—though that last title was still a bit new for Lilia to comfortably use.

"Before now, you've made sure to always keep him at your side. Whenever you go visit the other villagers, you drag him along with you, even for the most menial reasons. He has rarely been out of your sight in the entirety of his life. You coddled him to an unnatural degree. Some people would call you overbearing and suffocating," she said, cocking her head to the side. "I would not disagree with that assessment."

From the woman's face, she knew Lilia was not wrong, but she would not fold so easily. "Okay, and? What's your point?"

"It's a bit of a change of pace from the norm, no? Had I known these were your intentions from the start, I would have worded my previous advice differently."

"What wrong with what I did?" The woman looked a bit miffed at her words, and Lilia was becoming all too aware of the line between them that she swore not to cross. Still…

"I would not say it was wrong. Rather, I feel that another approach may yield better results."

Zenith shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "That… might be true, but I…—" she let out a groan of frustration, burying her head in her hands "—You know how long I've been thinking about this. I couldn't pass up the chance to maybe make things right." The woman refused to meet Lilia's eyes, and perhaps that was a sign that the lady of the household was still withholding secrets.

Of course, Zenith was in no way obligated to reveal anything to her. First and foremost, she was Lilia's employer. Their fundamental relationship was still professional at its core. While they had grown closer over the past few years, Lilia still had to respect certain boundaries, lest her source of income suddenly vanish.

Still, perhaps it bothered her ever so slightly that things were still being hidden from her. She shouldn't be feeling even the slightest bit upset, but Lilia could not deny the ugliness in her heart. In Zenith, she had found someone who could relate to the strangeness occurring within this household, someone else who noticed the things she had, felt the same inexplicable sensations that had made her skin crawl. Before then, Lilia had been silent about the whole ordeal, keeping such opinions to herself lest she anger the ones who fed and housed her. To find someone else who shared her experiences, she felt relieved.

"That's true. Regardless of anything else, you did splendidly to confront him at last. How did it feel?"

Zenith relaxed in her chair, the tenseness of her body slowly ebbing away. "I… I don't know. I'm glad he listened to me, but still…"

Lilia could somewhat understand what she was feeling. In the end, despite successfully getting the boy out of the house and having some semblance of normalcy, Zenith did not achieve her true objective in that conversation.

"I don't promise anything."

Having mustered up the courage to come face to face with him, only to be given a subtle rejection, the maid could understand the woman's frustration.

"Well, what now? You've partially completed what you wanted to do. Shirou is outside right now. What's next for you?"

In truth, Lilia only really knew about Zenith's struggles with trying to talk to the boy about her reservations with his actions. As for everything else, sending her child away from his mother's side included, Lilia was not privy to those details.

"I… I don't know. I didn't even think I would make it to this point. I… I don't even know if what I'm doing will make any difference."

"But you will still try," Lilia completed for her.

Zenith paused, then nodded. "Yes, I… —I still have to try."

Lilia agreed with her thoughts. Admittedly, she also thought that trying to change the boy's behavior in such a way would be a fruitless effort. He was quite stubborn, a characteristic present in both Paul and Zenith. If nothing else, there was that small detail to cling onto. Humans had to hope—otherwise there was no reason to exist.

"I would not give up so hastily. Children are easily impressionable. As… well-learned as Shirou might be, even he might be susceptible to external factors that you might not expect."

"You—you think he'll get into trouble?"

Worry flashed across Zenith's eyes as they widened in shocking realization. Lilia held back a sigh as she deduced the root cause of the mother's anxiety. Honestly, if she would just be blatant and upfront with her son, then this problem would be a lot easier to navigate and solve. It felt a lot like the initial drama between Paul and Zenith—just one giant mess of hidden truths and unresolved worries with her caught in the thick of it. Despite everything, this family couldn't have been more fitting for each other if they tried. It was truly a match made by forces beyond her, though it came with its share of headaches. At this point, Lilia was tempted to lock them all in a room and force them to talk until they resolved their differences.

Still, she couldn't just say it outright. These kinds of situations required a bit more tact, and forcefully shoving an answer onto Zenith wouldn't solve anything. Whatever resolution she sought would have to come from herself and no one else.

However, that didn't mean she couldn't gently guide her… friend towards the answer. Sometimes, all someone needs are a firm hand on the shoulder—metaphorically, of course-and some timely words.

Well, Lilia couldn't begrudge Zenith in the slightest. After all, the predicament that she had found herself in was not an easy one to solve. It was a tiring mess of feelings and truths, and that was barely scratching the surface. The fact that she was constantly surrounded by both subjects of her confusion and frustration was not helping in the slightest. It left little time for contemplation and reflection, not when she had to deal with the proverbial fires every day.

So yes, Lilia did not think any less of the woman. Truth be told, Lilia had only just recently traversed her own feelings on the matter. Well, her feelings on one Paul Greyrat were already resolved quite some time ago—the reason why she had been confident on taking this job in the first place. No, it was his son that had thrown the maid into quite a spiral over the past few years.

Anomaly.

In a word, that was what she would use to describe Shirou Greyrat. It was a bit harsh since he was only a child, but her rather critical judgement was made with good reason. Simply put, the child was not a child.

Often, Lilia had to remind herself that he was four years old. At his tender age, most children were blabbering and incoherent piles of flesh held together by the vaguest links of sentience. They were crawling around, crying incessantly and constantly badgering their parents for food when they weren't soiling themselves. However, it was more apparent each passing day that no one had bothered to tell Shirou that.

The boy was, admittedly, exceptional. He showed physical and mental capabilities far beyond his age. He was largely self-sufficient, learning all the steps to growing up as if he were reading them straight out of a textbook. No, rather, it was more accurate to say he had been born with all the necessary knowledge in his head. There was not a single aspect to life that he had to be taught.

For example, as someone who had experience in helping to raise children, Lilia was used to the laborious process of fostering that instinctual urge to walk. She had helped them remain upright and balance their top-heavy bodies as unused legs muscles acclimated to bearing the load of a human body. It was a lengthy affair, and one she was prepared to undertake once again when she was hired as a maid for the Greyrats.

In the end, it was entirely unnecessary. Shirou had taken to walking like a fish to water, displaying coordination and balance more in line with a seasoned adventurer or soldier than a toddler. He wasn't infallible; he didn't immediately start running and jumping out of his crib. In fact, he was clumsy in the beginning, trying to stand and walk when his body simply wasn't ready for it. However, it was more as if he already knew how to do so, and the only challenge was simply adapting to the short, stubby legs of a baby. Regardless, the sheer rate of his progression was astounding. It only took perhaps a week or two for him to overcome his physical deficiencies. And if her eyes were not deceiving her, even his body would not be his limiting factor in the future because the boy was slowly losing his baby fat in exchange for muscle—not much, he was still a toddler, but he was a better physical specimen than his age would indicate.

His sudden dexterity translated to other areas as well. His skills in the kitchen were commendable. Originally, Zenith had panicked when Shirou had started using the kitchen without any supervision or knowledge. She was worried that he would chop of his fingers or burn himself or some other incident the paranoid woman conjured in her head, but the boy had shown her that her concerns were trivial. Frankly, in terms of pure mechanical expertise with a blade, Shirou was superior to her and Zenith, a frightening idea should he decide to utilize his skills in other fields.

It was scarily remarkable how the boy made his knifework an art. His speed was impressive, almost bordering on recklessly dangerous if not for the fact that he tempered it with almost inhuman accuracy and precision, resulting in exact cuts at large volume. And if he could learn and experience the various cuisines of the regions of the world and combine them with his eye-popping efficiency? He would truly be a culinary master.

In Lilia's eyes, there was no doubt he would achieve that in the future. Her earlier words to him had been no lie; if he wished, he would not be out of place in the lofty halls of a royal palace as a chef. However, while Shirou's physical development was astounding, it was still second to his most remarkable trait: his mind.

She had noticed, on occasion, that he was observing everything around him. He wasn't particularly discrete about it either. And when she said everything, she meant everything. Even something as mundane as the walls of the house. From the way he peered at them, it was like he was seeing no one else could. She had initially chalked it up to typical toddler eccentricities, but as his intelligence became more noticeable, that particular theory became harder and harder to believe.

Something that frequently held his interest was Paul's training regimen. She often found him in the upstairs storage room watching him intently in the yard. As a former guard and an… acquaintance of his, she knew first-hand that Paul was very skilled, enough so that his movements could be seen as mesmerizing. It was no surprise that it held a child's attention. And yet, when Shirou watched him, she didn't get the sense of wonder and admiration that she would have expected. His gaze was far more... analytical, silently judging and critiquing the forms and motions of someone who, for all intents and purposes, should have been beyond his ability to comprehend. Still, she could feel those eyes follow his father flawlessly and then that hidden intellect that always lingered just below the surface of his gaze processing every minute detail, dissecting each iota of information down to its most basic level and then absorbing it.

Most people who have called her ridiculous for complaining about a child learning, but they did not see what she saw. How, despite only seeing his father go through the motions once, Shirou had, with a kitchen knife in hand, had mimicked his movements almost flawlessly with the same empty look he always had.

And perhaps that was the crux of the matter. She should've been happy that her employer's—friend's? —child was so gifted. However, whenever she looked into those bronze eyes, ones that should have full of life and joy, she saw… nothing. His gaze was a dull amber that held the same void she had sensed from the very beginning. He was always polite and soft-spoken, seldomly deviating from the same dull tone of voice. He spoke with the eloquence of a scribe, his speech even and clear, more fitting on a researcher delivering his results than on a young boy. And his smile… on the rare occasions she saw it, it never quite reached his eyes, as if he was merely curling his lips upwards than any genuine attempt at the gesture.

He was born like this, she knew. She had been there for his birth. When Zenith first held Shirou in her arms, they were all concerned. His eyes were shut, and he was silent. Just before Lilia made to go over and spank him to force him to breathe, Shirou had woken up.

Those amber orbs had snapped open, and Lilia had immediately sensed a foreboding aura coming from the boy. She had been so shocked that she had been rooted in place, every cell within her body warning her not to approach any closer. She had been lucky that he had not seen her; if she had been sucked into that stare at that moment, Lilia was not sure if she could have kept herself together.

Even stranger, the boy had awoken not with wailing as she had expected, but with a cry of something. It sounded like a name, but Lilia couldn't be sure because his vocal cords weren't developed enough to create refined sounds yet. Nevertheless, he had said it once, looked around the room, said what vaguely sounded like another name, and then silently observed them for the rest of the evening, but she could tell that his attention was barely on them, his true gaze lying somewhere else.

And for the years afterwards, he had maintained that disposition. He was often aloof, almost detached from the world around him. It was hard to describe—it wasn't that he didn't care, more that he was… out of place, a sense of otherworldliness emanating from him.

She had grown overly curious one day, and upon seeing him alone in a room, she had purposefully tried to peer past the surface of those mystifying eyes, to search for a sign of something—anything —to assuage her concerns.

Lilia had found something, though she sorely wished she hadn't.

Fire and death.

It clung him to like a parasite, unwilling to release him. A miasma of death and grief so nauseating she had almost vomited on the spot permeated his existence.

That was the last time she dared to try and find it again.

It was unnatural. No one should have been like that, never mind a four year-old that Lilia had watched over since birth. She had seen soldiers fresh from battle, victims of ambushes as the sole survivors, and even watched over the dying as their last moments approached, and yet the look they had given her in their final moments could not compare to the haunted gaze that had captured her in that moment.

What did it say when the aura of the dying was magnitudes lesser than his? That their wide-eyed terror attacks were preferable to his inhuman emptiness. That their broken minds were preferable a to a boy whose blank and broken soul might as well have been nailed back together and then covered by a blanket called humanity.

Lilia was a woman of superstition. Every fiber in her being told her that she should not associate herself with him. Every instinct she had told her to run away without a second thought.

And yet, here she remained in the very household he resided in.

It had been almost two years since that event, and in that time that had transpired, Lilia had thought long and hard. About herself, about him, and her final decision. In the end, she finally came to a conclusion, clinging onto it with all she had. It was a simple reason, but sometimes humans had a tendency to forget about things right under their noses.

Shirou was not a bad person.

Frightening, yes. Unsettling, for certain. But in all her years serving the Greyrats, not once had she sensed a single iota of malevolent intent towards anyone from the boy. Ultimately, her judgement was made from that one sole fact, but it was enough.

Despite his frightening adaptability and unnerving emptiness, there was no sense of maliciousness. That discomforting glimmer of intelligence in his eyes lacked the evil glint of a boy who desired to use his abilities to do harm. He did not manipulate the people around him—blatant attempts to help Zenith aside though perhaps that only helped his case.

He was a model child, always speaking with respect and never making trouble for anyone. He constantly offered his hand for anything, even somewhat excessively. Lilia could not recall a child who would do cleaning or cooking before Shirou, who would gladly suggest his assistance with a—fake—smile on his face.

So, she would put up with his behavior for now.

It had taken her all this time to make up her mind, and she had only decided a few months ago to stop with her icy attitude and try to treat the boy as the child he should be. His current tumultuous familial circumstances were not helping in the slightest in that regard.

But that was only her perspective. The one that really mattered was the one from the person in front of her.

As merely an observer and occasional caretaker, Lilia was very worried by Shirou's mannerisms to say the least.

As his mother, his own flesh and blood, Zenith's distress was far worse.

"The world is a troubling place nowadays. Sending such a young child alone to its crutches may prove unwise." Lilia paused, letting her words sink in. "Thankfully this village is quite peaceful. Trouble has not found us yet."

Zenith's tense face only tightened further, and her eyebrows furrowed as she sensed that Lilia was not done yet.

"But…?"

The maid sighed. "It's only a feeling, nothing more than a premonition." She turned her head to the side, towards the windows that faced the front of the house, looking into the distance where Shirou had disappeared to. "I fear that things are changing once again, Zenith. This world is destined for greater chaos."

It was just a feeling, but Lilia trusted her intuition above all else. She had sense that foreboding wind in the air all those years ago, and her soul screamed at her that something was on the horizon once again. "I know you still care for him, but I'm not sure if you can protect him from what is to come."

Zenith grimaced, avoiding her eyes once more.

Lilia noticed the bowl of soup she had cast to the side. Feeling slightly braver than before, she dipped her spoon into it, bringing it to her lips. The liquid raced down her throat, and she let out a deep hum as its flavor marinated on her tongue.

And just as before, she no longer felt the urge to sample it any further. It was difficult to consume, though not for reasons one would normally think of.

"You taste it too, huh?" The woman in front of her was more observant than she gave her credit for, Lilia acquiesced. The maid nodded at the words, frowning slightly as she brought the sensation of the flavors to the forefront of her mind.

Every masterful crafter left behind a piece of themselves in their creations, and for Shirou, it was no different. The boy must have been numb and blind to not have noticed what he had created.

Loneliness, tinged with pangs of regret. It was a bitter thing, his food. Not because of the combination of ingredients used or any fault in the cooking process, but the emotions left behind tainted anything that he created. Of course, one had to be particularly sensitive to these sorts of things; Lilia had no doubt that no ordinary person would not be able to pick up on these sorts of intricacies. She was surprised that Zenith had noticed, but the woman used to be around magicians and used magic herself, so perhaps the explanation laid there.

For her, his food was exceptional, but as soon as it went down her throat, all that was left on her tongue were the despondent sentiments he had left behind.

"So lonely…" the blonde woman said. "But there's something else in there, you know." Zenith took her a spoonful of her own soup, closing her eyes as she gulped it down, letting the sensations wash over her. "There's love here, Lilia. So much of it. I can feel it, his longing." The woman opened her eyes, and Lilia could see the start of tears pooling in those azure orbs. "But none of it is for me." She shut them closed, and a single tear trailed down her cheek.

Out of respect, Lilia chose not to comment on it, instead sitting in silence as she let the woman wipe her face.

"It's strange. I've been his mother all these years," she said, glancing towards the front door where the subject of the conversation had left from, "and yet I never did quite feel like one."

Lilia did not like where this was going.

"Zenith, you—"

"I feel like a skipped a few steps. I never got to do the things any parent would be expected to do."

She needed this, Lilia thought. All this time, she had kept all these feelings inside, never letting anyone, even her, know of them. And yet, Lilia was afraid of what conclusions Zenith might reach.

"I didn't have to teach him how to walk. One day he was crawling and before I knew it, he might as well have been a horse running around! I didn't have to teach him how to talk either. He's already more well-spoken than most people I know. Hell, he can even cook for himself now. I don't even have to feed him anymore. Just another thing to cross off the list, I guess."

Lilia kept silent, letting Zenith finish venting her frustrations. When the woman trailed off into silence, she opened her mouth to speak but found the words stuck in her throat.

What would she know? She was not a mother, someone who had given birth to another human being. She was only a caretaker, but that was different from giving birth to another human being that had been sitting inside of her for almost a year. She had no experience in this field. The most she could offer Zenith was her ear and her sympathy. Hell, Lilia herself could barely sort out her own feelings on the matter.

An uncomfortable pause, one far too long for her liking, followed. Zenith's expression turned unreadable before twisting into an ugly mix of emotions. She turned away, closing her eyes and carefully pondering her next words. In turn, Lilia kept her silence, unwilling to interrupt.

"You were right earlier, Lilia. I can't protect him if he's out there. I can't stop him, not anymore."

Wait, what did she mean by that—

"He doesn't need me. He never needed me. If that's the case," Zenith finally opened her eyes, doubt and insecurity clouding over her irises, "then what's the point of me even being here? Am I… am I even needed?"

Oh.

Zenith looked at her, and it was only now Lilia could see just how broken the woman was.

"Lilia, was I even his mother in the first place?"

Oh.

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Considering the time period and my location, I wasn't surprised that Buena Village was fairly agricultural. In fact, it was almost entirely farmland. The land around me was a veritable sea of green dotted by a few modest houses. Fields of wheat and other vegetation dominated the landscape as they gentle swayed with the morning wind. Whatever areas wasn't used for farming was undeveloped land covered by golden grass and tall trees with a few buildings dotting the horizon.

It had its charm, I supposed. As a native of Fuyuki, the rural setting I was born in was a definite change of pace. Fuyuki was a fairly urban area, and seeing such luscious vegetation and wildlife close by was not a typical sight unless I wanted to take a train trip to the countryside. People were also far less common here than back at home, partly due to the lower population but also due to the lower density of houses. Not to say people were rare—they could commonly be found attending to the crops or other chores in the fields—but there weren't large groups of people clustering together like in Fuyuki.

I certainly didn't mind the time alone. It left me with a lot of time to think.

"Ah, Shirou, good morning!"

The villager in front of me was the first person I've seen traversing this path since I've left the house. He was riding a horse-drawn cart filled with bales of hay, no doubt freshly harvested from the fields.

"Good morning, Mister Taguchi," I greeted with a nod. He stopped his cart and curiously peered down at me.

"Oh, Zenith isn't with you today?"

"She is not," I shook my head. "I was told to go have fun and explore." I explained.

"Strange. Usually, she's circling you like a mother hen. Well, I suppose maybe this is for the best. That woman won't let you out of her sight. Somebody needs to tell her that kids need to be kids," he laughed. His boisterous chuckles continued for another second or two before he stopped in realization. "Oh, that reminds me! Thank you for the other day, Shirou." He gestured downwards towards the front axle of the cart. "I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't helped me repair the cart. It's all thanks to you I can haul all this around," he jerked his thumb to the bundles of hay in the back.

"It was no issue. If there's anything else I can help with, please let me know."

A flash of fear flickered the man's face. "Ah, thank you for the offer, but I can't. Zenith explicitly told me to stop relying on children for tasks a man should be able to do." The man sighed in exhaustion at recalling the conversation with the woman. "As helpful as you are, I don't need her busting down my door and yelling at me. No doubt my wife would join in." He grimaced at the thought.

"I see. If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me." I said. It was unfortunate, but there wasn't much I could do. Looks like my original plan of exploration was the best way to make use of this weird day. "Mister Taguchi, do you know any interesting places nearby? I've never really left the house much."

I only ventured out to the same area of the forest during my training sessions. If there were any places of interest nearby, I was unaware of them.

"Oh, looking for somewhere to play?" The man stroked his chin in thought. "Not off the top of my head, but if you head there—"he pointed at a hill in the distance near the forest surrounding the village"—you might be able to see something from up there."

Advice for a child, I thought dryly. "That makes sense. Thank you."

"There's lots of small areas that are quiet for a kid like you. Though if you ask me, you need to go need some of the village children. I'm sure that you'd prefer talking to kids your age than having Zenith keeping you next to her, right?"

I gave him a sheepish look. "Ah, I'm a bit shy. I don't do too well with other people."

He heartily laughed again. "Hah, you're nothing like your parents. Paul would've taken the chance to brag about his skills in front of people, and Zenith might shrivel up and die if she had no one to talk to. I guess the apple fell far from the tree, huh." He chuckled a bit more to himself. "Well, I gotta get going. I need to drop off this hay. Take care, Shirou." He gave me a friendly wave before spurring the horse forward but then suddenly stopped. "Oh, just remember to stay close to the village! Lots of monsters are around here. Rumor has it that they've been especially vicious lately, so don't go wandering off, okay?"

"I'll keep that in mind," I nodded.

"Okay, just making sure since if something happens to you and Zenith finds out I gave you ideas…" The man shivered as his imagination got the better of him. "Anyway, see ya!"

"Goodbye, Mister Taguchi." I waved back before looking at the hill he pointed out. Admittedly, it looked like a good vantage point to scout from. It looked to be about a kilometer or two from my current position, so the walk would take a while. No matter, it gave me time to sort out my thoughts anyway.

It was a rare opportunity to let my mind wander without all the antics occurring in the Greyrat household. With each passing day, the difference between them and I grew larger and larger. As I became more independent, it became all the more obvious that I didn't belong here as part of their family. The earlier conversation with Taguchi served only to prove my point. Not only did I look like some bastard child, but my demeanor didn't match either of my parents. The lie of being their son was quickly become harder and harder to keep up. At this rate, running away was looking like a more tempting option.

"We didn't have you so you could so something for us. We had you so we could do something for you."

I swore to stop the people around me from crying. If I did abandon this life, Paul probably wouldn't mind, but Zenith definitely would break down.

But what if it was for their own good? That my presence was clearly only causing them pain?

Kiritsugu would have left. Archer too. Those two were pragmatic and logical, but they were undeniably heroes. Neither of them would have been keen on playing house when they could be so much more, especially if they brought only pain and misery with them.

A memory flashed across my mind, of a genuine smile made by a woman who sought nothing but a small slice of happiness in a reality that contained none of it. The thought of that smile twisting with sadness, of tears of grief flooding those azure blue eyes created an uncomfortable feeling in my chest.

I wondered where this path I was walking would lead me. It felt wrong, strange, a betrayal of the foundations that encompassed my ideals. But the fork in the road was long past me, a rocky trail already ventured that led to nothing but a cliff of sorrow.

Decisions, decisions.

Once again, the thought of the women in my previous life filled my head. They would've provided some insight on this dilemma. They were smart like that, far more than I. But alas, just like the past few years, I would need to navigate this issue on my own, for better or worse. Whatever the consequences might be, there were solely mine to bear.

"You really can see a lot from up here." In the midst of my musing, I had arrived at the hill Taguchi had pointed. It was an excellent vantage point, providing an excellent view of the entirety of Buena Village as well as the surrounding area. From up here, it was easy to see the how the land was divided into areas for different crops. Some squares of land were entirely exposed soil as the crops previously grown there were harvested for the season. It reminded me a lot of the agricultural provinces in Japan. Though unlike on Earth, the lack of mechanization and human exploitation added a certain element of mystique that I didn't mind.

I turned to the side to look at the vegetation around the path. The flora was certainly beautiful, coming in a plethora of vibrant colors that could only be matched by the most exotic of locations in Earth. They contrasted nicely with the golden canopy of the forest. The wildlife was quite exquisite as well. Butterflies of equally vivid colors congregated towards flowers while birds chirped their morning songs to greet the coming day.

The forest felt alive, teeming with all sorts of life that I knew no idea about. It certainly was far livelier than the forest around the Einzbern manor, which felt stagnant and deathly, not to mention the many horrific memories made there.

I continued walking. The scenery was almost hypnotic, letting me forget Zenith's earlier actions.

Of course, where one door closed, another opened. Letting my wander was perhaps a mistake, as I couldn't help but feel a longing in my heart. Despite the years that have passed, the memories were as fresh as ever. How could I forget? The Holy Grail War is something that engraves itself into the mind, forever a parasite. I looked to my side, and if I squinted just right, the colors of the scenery morphed into a familiar shape: the blonde King of Knights, garbed in her signature silver armor over her royal blue dress. But I blink, and the image fades entirely, replaced only by a deep pang in my chest.

Back then, it had been just her and I against what seemed like the world. While I gained allies later in the war, she had been my partner since the very beginning. This casual stroll through the woods reminded me much of our evening patrols, when the world seemingly stood still, and the silence of the night made it seem like we were the only ones in the world. Of course, I wasn't currently looking out for the supernatural in the evening, but the isolation of the forest reminded me of those memories, nonetheless.

"You would've loved this, Saber," I said wistfully, taking in the breadth of the nature around me. "We never did get to go on that date you promised…."

"She's running away! Get her!"

"Come back here, demon!"

"P-P-Please stop!"

Frantic footsteps raced towards me before abruptly stopping, and I heard the sound of a body hitting the ground. The voices were coming from deeper in the path, past the crest of the hill I was on.

"Ahhh!"

As if they had a mind of their own, my legs were already moving, the magecraft-enhanced limbs moving my body towards the other side of the hill. The forest canopy parted to reveal the blinding white light of the afternoon sun. I instinctively covered my eyes, trying to will my eyes to adjust faster to the sudden sunlight.

"Nice! You got her face!"

"You think I got it in her eyes again?"

"Nah but looks like you got some in her mouth though."

The world of white subsided, revealing a familiar scene.

A girl laid on the ground, her white cloak heavily caked in mud. She was sprawled on her back, supporting herself with one arm while the other futilely tried to shield her face. Her front was similarly smeared with mud; her white shirt was stained brown, and her face bore even more splotches of dirt.

"Hey, I got a big one here!"

Across from her were three boys, all of which seemed significantly older than her. Their legs and arms were covered in mud as well, though it was done willingly. One of the boys, the largest of the three, bent over to the side, picking up a sizeable rock. Tossing it up and down to test its weight, the boy cocked back his arm, aiming for the girl's head.

"Take this!"

The large stone flew the air. With its mass and momentum, the projectile would easily cause severe damage, especially with the girl's frail frame, if not outright death by caving in her skull.

Too bad it never reached its target.

With a practiced mental command and a flash of blue light, a nondescript dagger appeared over my shoulder and disappeared just as quickly, the weapon imperceptibly soaring through the air at supersonic speeds in a deadly straight line.

Sparks flew as steel met rock, intercepting each other's course. The stone harmlessly dropped like a fly to the side, landing in a puddle of mud and splashing its thrower. The dagger spun through the air until it embedded itself into the ground point-first before dissipating into motes of light.

"W-Wait what?" The group looked around in confusion, wondering what had happened in that brief second, until one of them spotted me slowly walking down the hill towards them.

"Hey! Who are you?!"

"Yeah! Get outta here!"

I calmly continued walking forwards, uncaring for their warnings. Reaching the girl, who looked up at me bewilderingly with a single green eye—the other covered by stained hair stuck against her face—I extended a hand towards her invitingly.

"Are you okay?"

She numbly nodded, looking at my outstretched hand with hesitation. I didn't pressure her into taking it, only calmly holding out the limb and nothing else to show I had no intention of hurting her. She was like a cornered animal, and forcing her into anything might just have its opposite effect.

Thankfully after a few heavy moments, she placed her hand in mind. Nodding at her choice, I hefted her up onto her feet.

"O-Ow!"

Her left leg wobbled, and she immediately collapsed, sending her flying backwards. Fortunately, I was still holding onto her, so getting down onto one knee, I gently lowered her onto the ground in a sitting position.

"Your left ankle is sprained," I noticed, looking at the ugly purple discoloration on the joint. "You must not have noticed it because of the adrenaline."

"Adrenaline?" she asked, tilting her head inquisitively.

"Hey, don't ignore us!"

I shot an apologetic expression at her.

"Sorry, this will just take a second." Standing up, I turned around and took a few steps forwards to face the three bullies. They all looked livid, clenching their teeth in frustration and glaring holes at me.

"Did you guys want something?"

"Why are you helping her?! She's a demon!"

I raised an eyebrow. Demon?

I looked back at the girl behind me. Her eyes widened in fear, and she started trembling, bringing her arms towards herself and shying away from me.

I peered closer at her. There were no ram horns sprouting from her green hair, nor did were bat wings sprouting from her back. Neither did she look like a certain executor priest.

Hooves maybe? I looked down.

Nope.

It was a far cry from trying to drag me through fire and brimstone to the depths of hell.

Judging from her tearful expression, she was afraid of what I was going to do next. I knew that look all too well, the face of someone who had been betrayed and hurt over and over. She was scared that I would betray and abandon her after learning of what she was.

"Demon? I don't see a demon," I answered, looking back at the boys. "You shouldn't be throwing around such words so nonchalantly."

They looked flabbergasted. "What do you mean she's not a demon?! Look at her!" one of them said, angrily pointing his finger at the girl behind me.

"I don't see a demon," I repeated, raising an eyebrow. "In any case, I believe you three have overstayed your welcome. Please leave."

"Pffft!" Almost immediately, laughter erupted among them as their angry expressions morphed into a mix of incredulity and amusement. One of them bent over his waist, loudly laughing as he slapped his thigh repeatedly. In contrast, I continued standing across from them with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh man, that's good. You're like, what, four?" He gestured to my small stature. "Look, if you wanna stay with that demon, then you're no better than her!"

I sighed in exasperation. "Why does it always turn out this way?" I lamented.

"The girl can't run anymore! Just beat him, and we can see how long she can hold her breath underwater," one of them called out. The three boys fanned out, surrounding me in a semicircle. They were significantly larger than me, tall enough to almost blot out the sun from my perspective. However, I could tell they were inexperienced—they were children, after all. For all their bravado earlier, none of them moved closer to me. They looked at each other uncertainly, seeing which one of them was brave enough to start a fight. In contrast, I merely stood between them, unfazed at their little display.

After half a minute of standing, it was the boy on the right that started the fight who mustered up the courage to step forward. He ran towards me, right arm cocked back. Before reaching me, he planted his left foot into the ground, extending his fist towards my face.

Even if he hadn't telegraphed the strike so obviously, its insultingly slow speed would have made it all too easy to evade. The punch had little force behind it too, using only his chest and arm muscles as opposed to the entirely of his body by putting his entire weight behind the strike. With his undeveloped frame, it wouldn't have taken much to stop him. Not to mention he didn't even punch straight, curling his arm to the side as if he was avoiding my nonexistent guard. By angling his fist, he subconsciously leaned to the side, shifting this weight almost entirely on one foot.

I pivoted to the side, letting the arm glide past me. Grasping onto the overextended limb with both hands, I used his own momentum and lack of balance against him, spinning him around and gently pushing on the back and launching him towards the space between the two other boys.

The other two remained standing still in the initial positions, unable to register what just happened as their friend stumbled past them before he finally lost his balance and fell onto his stomach.

They feebly looked at each other before coming to some sort of silent agreement before slowly advancing on me with measured steps.

In response, I did nothing, perfectly content to let them come to me.

With a cry of exertion, the one on the left quickly charged at me, planting on one step and twisting his body as his other leg rose towards me. I ducked underneath it, my small stature coming in useful as I felt the hairs on my head graze his leg. However, just before it could completely pass over me, I grabbed his foot. The boy awkwardly shuffled around on the sole foot on the ground, hopping around as he desperately tried not to fall down. With almost contemptuous ease, I spun him back around and pushed him softly as I did with the first boy, sending him straight into the first boy, who had just recovered from my counterattack. Not expecting his friend to barrel into him, both of them ended up in a tangle of limbs as they both fell over into the mud puddle.

I looked at the last boy, who was suddenly looking a lot less confident.

"Uh, whatever, let's just go guys!" he said to the boys behind him.

"Hell no! We at least tried. Get in there!"

"Yeah man, you totally got this!"

Cringing at the responses, he looked back at me, then back at his friends, then back to me. Muttering some sounded like some kind of prayer, he slowly moved towards me, eyeing my movements—or lack thereof –carefully.

Closing the distance, he stepped forward and threw a punch—at least this one was straight—but just like the previous time, I pivoted and let it go past me. Before I could grab it, he quickly retracted the limb and cocked back his other arm, sending another strike. Almost like I was seeing it in slow motion, I lazily raised my own arm to parry his limb, slapping it to the side. Before he could recover, I casually butted my foot against his own, the light blow robbing him of his foot. I watched him fall down to one knee in front of me, and kneeling down so we were eye-level, I looked at him evenly in the eyes with nothing more than a blank yet disapproving look on my face.

At the same time, I saw a familiar rock heading towards me from my periphery, the same one that I had blocked earlier. Quickly looking, I saw one of the bullies in a throwing position, having just launched the stone at me. The mud-caked projectile flew towards me, threatening to split my head open.

Catching it like a baseball, I slowly brought the rock forwards so the boy in front of me could clearly see it. With a flex of reinforced fingers, the offending stone shattered in a shower of dust and pebbles. All the while, my face remained empty, not a hint of emotion leaking from the mask.

The boy's eyes trembled in fear, and tears started to pool in his sockets. Sensing that he did not need any more convincing, I stood back up, turning my head towards the other two children.

"Well?"

They quickly got the message, and all three hastily started to run back towards the direction of the village. Seeing them disappear over the crest of the hill, I gave my full attention to the girl behind me, who was looking at me with a fearful expression.

My lips curl upwards to defuse her anxiety. "Sorry, I had to make sure they wouldn't bother you again. Don't worry, I won't hurt you." That statement would have been far more believable before the unfortunate encounter. "I'm guessing you can't walk?" asked, gesturing towards her sprained ankle.

"Y-Y-Yes…" she said, meekly nodding.

"I see."

This situation was an unfortunate predicament. I didn't really know any medical magecraft or any healing magic of this world. My skillset was a bit more… specific.

"I know a healer who can probably fix your ankle. If you would like, I can take you to her." I distinctly recall Zenith's healing magic she used on me when I was younger. I know she said not to be a busybody helping others, but surely she would take exception to this, right?

"U-Uh… um…" I could see hesitation and wariness flashing in spades across her face. If she truly wished it, I would have left her alone, but seeing as she was physically injured, I wanted to help as much as I could.

"Don't worry, she's very nice. She's the husband to the knight of this village. She's the most skilled healer I know." I curled my lips upwards once again to try and soothe her worries.

The statement wasn't necessarily a lie. Zenith was the most skilled healer I knew in this world. She was also the only healer I knew, so the candidates for that title weren't plenty.

"E-er… okay…"

Not much of a talker, huh? She almost reminded me of Sakura.

"Hmm, you can't walk, so would you be comfortable with me carrying you?"

A heavy blush adorned her small pale cheeks.

"C-C-Carry me?!" she stammered out. "I-I-I-I'm not s-s-s-sure…"

"Well, I can't really leave you here while I go get help." I pointed out. "It might take some time, but I can build a cart of some sorts. I just need to gather some wood in the forest," I suggested. Making a rudimentary hand-pulled cart shouldn't be difficult. I could change the shape of any sticks I find using alteration and patch them together with reinforcement.

"U-Um… that might be too hard…" she denied.

"Hmm, then we're at an impasse." What else could I use? The thought of conjuring Vimana crossed my mind, the absurd thought giving me a mental laugh as I continued deliberating. Did I have a flying sword I recorded somewhere? Hmm, this would require some meditation.

"Um… it's fine… You can just leave me…"

I glanced down at the girl. Was she so scared of me that she would rather sit here immobilized than accept my help? Well… I couldn't really blame her. However, for something as trivial as this, even a fake such as I would suffice.

"Sorry, but your injury will only get worse if you attempt to walk on it, and it could get dark before your parents come here and get you help. You'd most likely be seeing the woman I was talking about anyway." As far as I knew, Zenith was the only healer in this area, so any medical services were assigned to her automatically.

Well, this left me quite stumped. For once, I wished Berserker were here. Illya did say he could turn into a car, and while I thought she was joking, it was always hard to tell with her…

"Um," she started, suddenly finding the ground next to her far more interesting. "You… you can carry me..."

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? I don't want to pressure you." I could always sprint to her parents' house and inform them of the situation. With some reinforcement, it wouldn't take long in the slightest. The issue is that this girl might question how I got to her house so fast.

"It's… It's fine. Just please be gentle..."

"Of course," I answered. I knelt, facing my back towards her. She leaned forward, tentatively placing her hands onto my shoulders. I slowly stood up, making sure not to startle her, though I still felt her grip tighten almost painfully. I hooked each of my arms underneath her thighs and slouched forwards. "You okay?"

"I'm... I'm fine… Are… are you sure you can carry me all the way?"

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Just let me know if you need a break." I nodded towards the path I came from. "There's a stream on the way there. We can take a short break to clean you." The girl was positively filthy, and from the way mud was caked onto her skin and in her hair, they had been harassing her long enough for the dirt to have dried and hardened.

We were the same height, so carrying her was a bit awkward. Normally I wouldn't have the strength or stamina to do so in this body, but I could discretely reinforce my body slightly to take most of the strain. This could serve as good practice for my magecraft anyway. "Ready?"

She nodded, and I slowly started marching back towards my house.

The walk back was completely silent. I wasn't much of a talker in the first place, and from what I can gather, this girl wasn't very social either. From my initial impressions, she was quite shy and quiet, and that stutter of hers made her lack of talking skills apparent.

Still, I didn't mind. It was only an issue if she found it so.

"U-Um… what's your… name…?"

Apparently she did.

"Shirou," I answered. "Emi—Actually, just Shirou is fine."

"S-Shirou…" she said, testing the word on her tongue. She nodded after a while before suddenly seizing up. From our proximity, I could feel her shivers of fright against my back.

"You don't need to tell me your name," I deduced. The comparison to Sakura was an apt one; her constant anxiety in our interactions made me all the sadder at what had transpired in the past that made her like so.

It was a sad thing. Children should be children, and giving an innocent girl such deep scars early in her life was an unforgivable crime.

Her hand gripped my shoulder harder. "It… fine… I'm… Sylphiette," she quietly said. I had to applaud her bravery. I knew people who were afraid to confront their fears, and this girl was out doing them at her tender age.

"A pleasure to meet you, Sylphiette, though I wish it were under better circumstances."

Unfortunately, the conversation died at that, and the awkward silence returned, the rift between us remaining present. Unfortunately for Sylphiette, I didn't have the skills to maintain an amicable conversation between us the entire way back.

"Um Shirou, why… why did you help me?" Ah, it seemed that I wouldn't need to take the initiative after all.

I let her words linger in my mind. The answer was on the tip of my tongue, words that I had recited so easily in the past. In fact, I had said them to Zenith earlier. It was only now, when I was forced to confront the results of my actions, with memories of my past life and where it had ended up flashing through my head, that I paused, reconsidering my answer and what it truly meant.

"You needed help. There is nothing more to it than that. There is nothing wrong with helping others."

In the end, I gave her the same words I had spouted so freely before. There was no lie in what I had said. Even if the foundations of my resolve were cracked and broken, the truth they upheld was still absolute.

"Even… even someone like me?"

I glanced at her questioningly.

"What do you mean? What's wrong with you?" There didn't seem to be anything wrong with her from my perspective. Maybe a bit shy and timid, but there was nothing wrong with that. Oh god, was she actually going to drag me to hell?

"That… that I'm a demon…" She subconsciously clenched harder onto my shoulders. M-my dad is half-elf… but they call him a demon… and I'm his daughter, so I'm a demon too…!" I felt tear drops fall onto my back, and Sylphiette's words slowed down until she was nearly forcing them out by the end. Just as before, I didn't comment on it, letting her have her dignity as I processed what she had said.

I hadn't noticed earlier, but the girl on my back was indeed an elf, or at least partly so. Her large, pointed ears and pale skin was definitely typical of the elvish race in typical fantasy. Of course, I couldn't look back to confirm my thoughts, lest I embarrass her further.

It also brought into question why her father was being called a demon. From what she was saying, it seemed that she was using demon to refer to a race of beings rather than something evil. In that case, referring to an elf as a demon seemed fairly contrarian. I was no expert in the supernatural, but elves and demons were almost always distinguished from each other, and in some respects, were on nearly opposite ends of the spectrum. Well, I was ultimately an outsider, so these specific nuances to the history of the world and its politics were unknown to me. Still, from Sylphiette's distress, it was obvious that being a demon was looked down upon here, and even if it wasn't in the correct sense of the word, I can't imagine that being called a demon as a child did wonders for her either.

"And what about you? What do you think?" I rebutted.

"I… I don't k-know… It's hard for my parents… E-everyone looks at them weird… but my d-dad… he hasn't done anything wrong…!" Ah, the crime of being born. It was a topic I was all too familiar with.

"He sounds like a good man."

"H-H-He is!" Ah, that her excited. "He's a-always nice to me… He treats me and my mom well… He's s-super s-strong too but he always p-plays with me still…"

"It's a man's duty to shoulder the burdens of the world. As long as you and your mother are there at his side, I'm sure your father would bear it gladly." People were fragile creatures. Their bodies were soft and easily broken. Their resolve and determination could be undermined with nothing more than a single word. Elves, demons, humans, it didn't matter. All living creatures fell under that rule. And yet, people persevered all this time, simply because they were never alone. I'm sure Sylphiette's father must have struggled to endure the constant scrutiny and judgement of those around him, just as I'm sure that when he came home to his smiling wife and daughter, the hefty weight on his shoulders vanished into nothingness.

"B-but… that's… that's so sad…" Her head drooped down until it rested on the base of my neck, and I could feel the wetness of her face against my bare skin. I clenched my teeth, chiding myself for making a young girl like Sylphiette cry. She didn't need to hear any of this. All she needed were some comforting words and a promise that everything would work out.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. You shouldn't have to learn this so early."

I felt Sylphiette raise an arm to wipe away the tears on her face. "It's… okay… So as long as I love Papa… he'll be okay…?"

I nodded, staring at the distant horizon as I struggled to control the flood of emotions threatening to drown me. "He's strong because of you, Sylphiette. Don't cut yourself short. Any decent father values his children, and I'm sure a father like him loves you with all his heart."

Sniffles rang out from behind me, and Sylphiette's voice hitched in her throat as she quietly sobbed on my back.

"Even… e-even if I'm different from Momma and Papa…?

"Good parents love their children no matter what. Do you have bad parents, Sylphiette?"

"No!" she protested, the outburst the loudest I've heard the girl since I met her. "They're… t-they're the best!"

I almost smiled at the immediate response. This girl truly treasured her family. I could respect such strong feelings.

"Then you have your answer."

Her weeping intensified, and before long Sylphiette was crying uncontrollably. The entirety of my back became damp as she planted her face into it, smearing mucus and tears all over it. Her bawls were muffled due to her pressing her mouth against my shirt, but her wails reached my heart, nonetheless. I didn't even realize I had subconsciously started digging my fingers into her thighs, holding the poor girl closer to me.

Eventually, Sylphiette started to calm down, but she still let out the occasional sniffle. "My ears are longer than Papa's… and my hair… it's different from my parents," she started. "People say it's the color of e-evil, but Momma and Papa said there's nothing wrong with it."

Evil? This little girl? I couldn't even begin to imagine how that particular rumor came about.

"You're not evil, Sylphiette. And don't worry about your hair being different. Your parents gave birth to you out of love. You, as you are, flaws and all, are a result of that love. They wouldn't want you thinking of yourself like that." I craned my head backwards, looking at her for the first time since I started escorting her back home. Her face was covered in dried snot and tears, and her eyes were puffy and red from her crying. I pushed her further up my back, letting me carry her with one arm. Her head was closer to mine, and with my free limb, I reached backwards, bringing my hand to her forehead. Sylphiette looked confused at what I was doing, warily looking at it. My fingers flashed forward, and the serious look Sylphiette was sporting crumbled like dust as I gentle flicked her forehead. She brought her hands up, eyes shut closed until she opened them after a moment, realizing that she wasn't hurt. Sylphiette was stunned, unsure what to make of the gesture. In response, I continued staring at her evenly. "You're special because you're their daughter. Never forget that."

My message stunned her, and her eyes widened as the struggled to process my words. Satisfied, I turned away from her. Perhaps it was a bit of a convoluted method, but I had to brighten her spirits somehow. Even if she didn't understand now, she eventually would in the future. But for now, this was enough. Someone like her shouldn't have that kind of look on her face. It was depressingly unfitting.

"I… I see… Thank you…" The shocked Sylphiette finally recovered, uttering only a few quiet words. However, I could tell from her tone that the worries that plagued her were gone for now. It was to be expected; people didn't change off a single conversation. She would need to be reminded time and again until the lesson was engraved onto her brain. Perhaps this trip to her home could serve another purpose as well.

I flinched in surprise when I felt a sudden weight on my shoulder, and I looked to the side only for my vision to be filled tufts of verdant green and pools of emerald. Sylphiette's eyes pierced mine, my own widening in shock, and my feet involuntarily stopped moving as my breath caught in my throat. I opened my mouth to say something only to realize no words would come out, and I wondered at how much a little girl managed to root me in place.

She slowly blinked, drowsily shutting her eyes closed before resting her head in the crook of my neck, letting out a purr as satisfaction as she nuzzled her head against mine.

"So… warm…"

This girl… we only met half an hour ago!

Well, I guess it couldn't be helped. The afternoon sun was right above our heads, and Sylphiette must have been tired from trying to escape those boys earlier. At the very least, if she trusted me enough to take a nap while on my back, then my goal of helping alleviate her anxieties was complete.

The walk continued in silence, mostly due to my sole companion being fast asleep as I carried her back to the village. Eventually, we managed to reach the small river that cut through the village. It was the primary water source here, and I've accompanied Zenith to it many times to fetch water for the house. This particular bend of the stream was further out than what I was familiar with, so it would be up to Sylphiette to guide us from here.

"Hey, you awake?" I asked gently. I softly nudged her awake with my head, watching as Sylphiette lifted her head up and slowly opened her eyes. She wiped her face, groggily panning her head from left to right. I could feel the gears turning in her mind as an expression of puzzlement crossed over her youthful face as she processed the unfamiliar environment around her. Then her eyes landed on mine, our faces barely a few centimeters from each other, and the pale skin beneath the patches of dirt on her face began to turn a brilliant shade of crimson.

"S-S-S-S-Shirou…!"

She started squirming on my back, and I sighed as I kept a firm hold on the girl, not wanting her to fall down and hurt herself further.

"Yes, that's my name."

Careful to make sure I didn't stumble and drop the panicking girl, I slowly walked over to the river shore. I knelt down, dropping her onto a sitting position. Sylphiette didn't protest, the blush on her cheeks still in full effect as she avoided eye contact with me.

"Wait here."

I stepped away from her, I went into the nearby bushes, disappearing from her sight. I wordlessly held out a hand, blue light coalescing into a small shape above my palm. Half a second later, and I was carrying a wooden bowl back to Sylphiette.

"Looks like someone forget this. How convenient."

The girl looked confused, and I was worried she didn't believe me. Oh well, it was a minor thing; she would probably forget anyway.

I dipped the bowl into the stream before bringing it over to Sylphiette. I held it up over her head, and she recoiled as the cold liquid dripped down onto her head. Already, the dried mud that blemished her hair was beginning to dissolve and break away, revealing more of the crown of green tresses underneath.

"That's most of it. Here, you can clean the rest of your hair. I'll make a rag for your face."

I handed her the bowl of water, and she started washing her hair by herself. Meanwhile, I gripped my pants, holding a portion of the fabric near the opening for the leg. With a sharp pull, the cloth tore easily, catching Sylphiette's attention.

"Shirou?"

I grunted again, and a small portion of the clothing came off my leg as a strip of fabric.

Destroying clothing—perhaps I was a rebellious child all along.

"You didn't have to do that… Won't your parents get m-mad?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm sure they'll understand."

By now, Sylphiette had finished washing her hair. I plunged the makeshift rag into the stream, bringing it back to the girl and holding it out to her.

"Sorry that this is the best I can do," I said apologetically, giving her a sheepish expression.

"T-thank you…" Sylphiette took my offering, pressing the wet cloth against herself. Her face, marred with splotches of grime and mud, noticeable brightened—figuratively and literally—as the elvish girl continued wiping herself. I was content to just sit next to her, leaving her to her own efforts as I blankly took in the surrounding area.

It was… peaceful. Not surprising considering very little of little actually occurred in this world. Admittedly, most of my trips outside of the house had a specific intent, whether it was to train or to help Zenith. Going outside of my accord like this, with only a vague idea of what to do… it wasn't entirely unpleasant. One part of me felt like this excursion was a waste of time, that I could have been doing something else. Helping Sylphiette was good, yes, but she was ultimately only one person. Perhaps in some way, there was another group of people I could have encountered that needed me more, or maybe even if I spent time focusing on improving my abilities right now instead of accompanying her, the fruit of my labors could help me save even more people in the future.

It was not an incorrect assumption. It was also a dangerous line of thinking. Archer had fallen into that trap once, and he had made me swear not to fall into it as he had.

For now, this current situation was fine. Helping others with these menial problems was simply one aspect of being a hero.

Of course, this was only the calm before the storm. Sooner or later, I would be called to fulfill my duty, and the climax of my journey would begin in earnest.

"S-Shirou?"

The soft-spoken girl next to me prodded my shoulder, jolting me out of my reverie. Sylphiette looked like she had been looking at me for quite some time, her head cocked to the side in confusion. I coughed awkwardly, embarrassed at losing myself in my thoughts at a time like this.

"Sorry, I was thinking of something else. You're all done?"

"Um, yes. I feel a lot better now. T-Thank you!"

"You're welcome, though I didn't do much. It was you who did all the cleaning. All I did was carry you." Actually, now that I looked at her more, she missed a spot.

I grabbed the piece of cloth from her hand, bringing myself closer to her. Ignoring her cries of "S-S-S-Shirou?!", I tenderly cleaned a stray patch of dirt near her eye. I backed away, standing back up and circling the sitting girl as I checked her head for any missed areas.

"Looks like you're all clean. Feel any better?"

"Y-Y-Y-Yes!"

Oh dear, her stuttering was getting worse.

"I'm afraid you'll need to clean your clothing back at your house or maybe even Zenith will even wash them for you?"

"Zenith?"

"The healer I'm taking you to." Once again, Sylphiette's face twisted into a strange expression, looking at me oddly before nodding in acceptance.

"Zenith…" Her countenance was scrunched in thought as she pondered. "She's a healer… But Papa said the only healer around here is…" Her face lit up as realization struck her like a lightning bolt. "You're talking about Zenith Greyrat! You're Sir P-Paul's son!"

I wryly grinned at her excitement. "Correct. Good deduction," I praised.

"It's n-nothing. I'm just remember what Papa told me from before."

"Your father knows about Paul and Zenith?" I questioned.

Like clockwork, she gave me an odd look.

"Papa goes on patrols with Sir Paul sometimes… They talk to each other about stuff, and P-Papa talks about his day when he gets h-home…" Ah yes, I remembered Paul bringing up his patrols some time ago. What a coincidence that I would meet the daughter of the man he fought alongside with. Hopefully he didn't say anything about me, but knowing Paul, he probably vented his frustrations to his fellow man, and naturally Sylphiette's father would tell his family what Paul had said. Unfortunately, his stories probably painted me in a negative light, and now that Sylphiette's discovered my identity, her impression of me would now be twisted.

It was unfortunate, but that was life.

"I see. Perhaps it will be your turn to tell him a story when you return to him later."

"Ah, I was going over to him earlier… Mama told me to give him his lunch…"

"Before those boys chased you, right?"

She nodded. "I dropped Papa's food…" Sylphiette seemed genuinely disheartened at the prospect of her father going a day without lunch. I raised a hand, the temptation to reach over and pat her head flooding my mind, words of comfort to tell her everything will be fine on my lips. At the last second, I reigned myself back in, deciding only to give her an apologetic look.

"There might be some left over food. Perhaps if you're fast enough, you might be able to bring him back some before he comes back home."

Her eyes widened, stars replacing her pupils as she excitedly smiled at me. "R-Really?! You mean it?!"

I coughed awkwardly, unsure what to make of the timid girl's sudden burst of enthusiasm. "Yes, really."

Her smile was dazzling, the curve of her lips bright enough to outshine the sun above our heads. My heart almost skipped a beat at the genuine happiness she exuded, and I couldn't help but feel glad that the despondent little girl from earlier was nowhere to be seen. Of all the people I've ever met, Sylphiette was a nice breath of fresh air, her naivete and innocence sparking a welcoming flame inside of my chest.

"Well, like I said, we still have to be quick about it. Now then, shall we get going?"

She nodded twice. "Yes, yes!"

I turned around, crouching and letting the injured girl climb onto me. I wordlessly looked back at her, the unspoken question on my lips. Sylphiette simply smiled, nodding her head to show she was ready. We set off without another word, a comfortable silence settling between us as we started the journey back to the Greyrat household.

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It was a familiar sight.

"The first time you leave the house on your own, and you already get into trouble."

I suppose that my life wouldn't be complete without a bunch of people, usually women, being outright pissed as me.

"Master Shirou has always been exceptionally stubborn and is prone to ignoring suggestions, at the cost of himself even."

Really, who could have foreseen this?

"…You're all overreacting. Somal is fine. Shirou didn't do anything wrong."

It must have been a cold day in hell if Paul of all people was defending me.

"He got into a fight, Paul. Take this seriously."

From Zenith of all people. Now I really don't understand what's going on with him.

"Eh, they'll be fine. Boys get into fights all the time."

"He still shouldn't have been in a fight! He could've gotten hurt!"

It wasn't really a fight.

"But was it really a fight? Shirou doesn't have a scratch on him, and those boys aren't hurt either. Trust me, they're just embarrassed they got roughed around by a kid barely half their size. Not like they haven't been getting a little rowdy lately anyway."

"Ugh, you're still missing the point."

"Or maybe you need to accept things and move on."

When I had arrived with Sylphiette in tow, the three residents of the house were standing shoulder-to-shoulder in front of the entrance to the house, barring my entry and forcing me to confront them.

Unsurprisingly, the group was on the verge of imploding. Zenith's face was set in an angry scowl, and her arms were crossed, only accentuated by the rapid tapping of her foot against the ground. Her eyes were on Paul, blue eyes simmering with annoyance and frustration at her husband. Paul, in contrast, was nonchalantly leaning against the guardrail of the porch. His cool, unconcerned demeanor wasn't deterred in the slightest from Zenith's fiery words and attitude. His eyes panned over to me, then to the girl on my back, and I could see something click in his brain. He didn't frown at my presence, choosing only to remain impassive as he endured the brunt of his wife's verbal assault.

As always, Lilia was on Zenith's other side, her expression stoic as always. I nodded to her, a gesture the maid returned. I pitied her current position, but from the way Zenith turned back to me, I'm sure she would be sharing similar sentiments very soon.

"So, when I said to go explore and have fun, did you think fighting the local children was what I meant by that?" Disappointed and resignation were heavily laced in her words, and I knew that the upcoming argument would not be pleasant.

I firmly returned her gaze, stopping just in front of the porch as I took in the sight in front of me. All three members of the Greyrat household had gathered in this spot to wait for my arrival. Zenith obviously was leading the mob, though I was more curious about the other two. Lilia held a curious expression on her face, eager to find out just what had happened. Apparently, news spread fast in the small village.

Paul was trying his best to hide it, but he was almost interested in the events of the afternoon. The man was as dishonest as ever.

"You should hear him out first," Lilia advised.

Zenith looked at her, sighing as she realized the wisdom in the maid's words before returning those spotlights back at me. Her scrutiny paused for a slight moment on the passenger on my back, and her eyes quickly narrowed at the injury to her foot. Considering her adventuring experience, I had no doubt that she had already assessed Sylphiette's sprained ankle and decided it wasn't anything to be worried about. She placed her hands on her hips instead, and I couldn't help but be reminded of Saber doing that exact pose in exasperation during her lectures.

"Well? Shirou, what do you have to say for yourself?"

Somehow, a part of me would've preferred that instead.

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A/N: And that's a wrap. Sylphiette will be joining us early. Due to Shirou hiding his magic (and actually knowing how to use it), Roxy and Sylphiette are basically switching in terms of when they get added to the plot.

Truthfully, I'm not particularly happy with this chapter. I didn't even plan to release it today, but I've been staring at it for more than a week now, and due to my inexperience as a writer, I can't really figure out specifically what's wrong and how to fix it. It was only recently that I realized that you, my dear readers, actually give me constructive feedback judging from my last chapter, so I'll let you guys sort that out. Go nuts. Feel free to flame me. I play League—I can handle it.

Anyways, there have been two main things from reviews I wanted to address, so I'll just answer them here. If you want to things to be a surprise, you're more than welcome to skip it.

Q: Will Rudeus be appearing in this story?

A: No, mainly because I already have my hands full trying to juggle Shirou's character and everyone else's. There's no way I can do Rudeus justice with my current writing ability.

Q: Which Shirou is this?

A: None of them. The prologue chapter was written using the end of Heaven's Feel, but it's solely for plot purposes. Characterization wise, this Shirou is some weird amalgamation of all three routes. My intention for this story was to make a Shirou who started his character development in the F/SN universe but finishes it in another world. In this case, it's Mushoku Tensei since the world building is pretty dope, so I felt it had potential.

I think the best way to explain this Shirou is UBW!Shirou but instead of Rin being the romantic lead, it's the main heroines plus Illya and Rider. From UBW, Rin was the one trying to "correct" Shirou into being a more normal person, vowing to guide him as he pursued his ideals. Just replace Rin with the harem. Obviously, this doesn't pan out, so Shirou is left trying to be a Hero of Justice after having everyone die. It's mostly not his fault, but as we all know, that doesn't really stop Shirou from blaming himself. Now, he's in another world doing what Shirou does best, but there will be a time when his ideals and reality conflict. As per his fight with Archer, he's "ready" for it, but obviously saying and doing something are two different things, and this time, he won't have Rin to be his support.

I think that just about covers it. Another thing to note: I'm trying decently hard to strike a balance between showing and telling. If you notice some details in the story, please point them out! That way I can adjust my writing to be more or less subtle. Having characterization details is cool, but if they over people's heads due to my inexperience, there's no point.

Speaking of details, if I mess up any lore details, either from the F/SN or MT side, tell me. I try to keep everything as natural as possible. Hell, that kitchen scene at the beginning took me a solid 15 minute of perusing through the LNs to find any details that might contradict my writing.

One final, minor thing: I used honorifics last chapter, but I'll probably just forgo them altogether from now on. I changed Lilia last chapter to reflect that. The only place it should appear is when Shirou talks about Taiga, but that can easily be excused since it's his mental thought process as opposed to saying it aloud. The LN doesn't use honorifics in speech, so I'll just stick to that.

Anyways, that's all for me. Next chapter (probably) won't take as long since I'm off from school, though I don't think it will be as long as this one either (16k before the A/N). Thank you for reading, and, as always, I hope you're having a good day.

A/N (11/30/2023): Overhauled the entire chapter more or less. Changed around the conversation with Zenith and Lilia in the beginning, and I cut out a bunch of the Sylphiette stuff. The Lilia monologue is more or less the same. The main goal for the revisions is to show Zenith's frustrations and annoyances more while trying to keep the juxtaposition between Shirou's thoughts and the actual results in reality. I'm trying to make it seem like he's trying his best to help (in the most Shirou way possible) but have it ultimately be counterproductive. The Sylphiette stuff in the original had a lot of unnecessary details from the novel that I used to structure the conversation. I replaced that with new dialogue though the main point is the same where Sylphiette feels alienated and Shirou helps with that. Less touchy in the washing scene, partly because I felt that I overdid it in the original, partly because I feel that Shirou would want people to be a bit more independent after the events in the prologue.