"Morning," Roman said quietly, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed. Lucy brushed away her tears with the back of her hand and set her phone on her lap, giving him a weak smile.
"Hi," she said, with a sniffle. The room went dark as her screen went to sleep, and Lucy clicked on the lamp.
"I, um, I guess you saw…everything," he said, gesturing vaguely with his own phone.
She nodded, leaning back into the pillows.
"Baby, I'm so sorry," he said, resting his hand on top of hers.
"You didn't do anything, Ro," she said, her tone genuine and soft, but a little…distant.
Both of them were quiet for another moment, neither sure what to say. Just when he was about to ask her how she was feeling or what he could do for her-
Tell me what you need right now, he pled in his mind, please, tell me how to make this OK.
-Lucy slid her free hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down gently so his forehead rested against hers. She closed her eyes and released a shaky exhale, followed by a slow, a deep breath. When she exhaled again, Roman closed his eyes and matched her pace.
In. Two. Three. Four.
Out. Two. Three. Four.
He felt his pulse regulate slowly as they did one more round of breaths. Lucy opened her eyes and pulled back from him slowly to look into his. She still seemed wary, her expression full of so many emotions that Roman couldn't begin to decipher, but she looked at him more attentively now.
"I know that we obviously need to talk about all of this," she said, her tone low, voice sounding louder to his ears than it was as it broke the heavy silence, "but can I show you something first?"
"Anything, sweetie," Roman agreed softly, reaching up to brush away an errant tear with his thumb. At his soft touch, Lucy leaned into his hand, and placed a small kiss on his palm.
Ok. Ok, that seems like a good sign.
She picked up her phone, and his heart dropped momentarily again until she held it up for him to see. It was one of the many pictures of them, one that he must have skipped over amongst the whirlwind.
The two of them were at JFK drinking coffee at the gate waiting for their connection. Roman's arm was thrown behind her on the back of her seat as took a sip from her small paper coffee cup, and his eyes were fixed on her, a soft smile on his lips.
As he saw his own expression, captured in high definition, he couldn't deny the look of pure adoration in his face if he'd wanted to.
"Liza sent it to me," Lucy said, her mouth forming a tiny smile, "you have to admit, it's a pretty good picture, babe."
"Yeah, it is," he agreed, tightening his fingers around where he still held her hand.
As she set her phone down again, her expression shifted. She looked almost mournful, her eyes growing watery once again. The ache in Roman's chest tightened, his earlier anger returning as he saw her so upset. The clock on the nightstand behind Lucy caught his eye.
"Damn it," he said under his breath, "I have to go in a couple minutes. I'm so sorry baby, we've got that interview."
"I know," she nodded, swallowing, "it's OK, we can talk later."
Leaving was the last thing Roman wanted to do at this moment, but he forced himself to squeeze her hand before standing up slowly.
"Do you want to meet for lunch or something? I might be able to skimp on the workout today," Roman asked as he quickly got dressed.
They had planned for today to be a full day of work for him and solo exploring for her, and meeting up after the Smackdown taping wrapped later in the night.
"No, that's OK," Lucy said with a slow shake of her head. She took another slow inhale, "I think- um, I- I think I just need some time. To process all of this."
Roman's heartbeat was in his ears now. He fought to remain calm. Of course, if she needed space, he would give her space. That's fine. It's what they agreed to. What he encouraged.
So, it's fine.
Time. Away from him.
Time to process.
It's fine.
"OK," he said, his low voice sounding hollow. He met her gaze with cautious hope, "I'll see you after the show tonight?"
Lucy seemed to consider his question, biting her lip for a moment before she nodded decisively.
"Yeah, I'll be there," she said, giving him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Roman nodded slowly, uneasiness washing over him.
As he finished getting ready, Roman's stomach was in knots. He double checked the contents of his gym bag and sat down to tie his shoes, when Lucy walked over to stand in front of him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey," she said softly, and Roman lifted his eyes to hers. Lucy bent down to give him a soft kiss, and he rested a hand on her waist as their lips met, and suddenly he could breathe a little bit easier.
"I'll see you later, Ro," she reassured him quietly, looking into his eyes meaningfully. There was still something lingering in her eyes, a shadow he couldn't put his finger on.
He'd said she could take time whenever she needed it, and now he'd have to back it up and give it to her.
But damn if it wasn't killing him to walk out the door with that look on her face.
Lucy sat in a small cafe, sipping her coffee as she looked through the window, spotted with rain drops, at the gray, cloudy sky. She'd tried to sleep a bit more after Roman left, but had only managed another hour or two. She tossed and turned for another hour before giving up and throwing on some clothes to go on a coffee hunt, hoping that once she was more awake and caffeinated, she could sort through her thoughts.
So far, no such luck. Her stomach was tight and food sounded awful, but coffee on an empty stomach was making her jittery. She looked over the menu and settled on a bacon brioche bun, stepping up to order it before returning to her table and taking a look around the cafe. The room was large and cozy with tall brick walls, one containing two fireplaces, each with neon flames in lieu of an actual fire. A few people worked on laptops or were quietly reading, and she tried to soak in the calm atmosphere. The shop was decorated with a few Christmas trees and string lights, bringing a soft glow to the room. Lucy slowly ate her sandwich, relieved that it wasn't upsetting her stomach. She took another long sip of her coffee, and her brain fog slowly began to lift, and she thought back to the start of her morning, when she'd heard the door between the two rooms close, and instinctively grabbed her phone to check the time.
Lucy looked blearily at the screen in her hand, retrieving her glasses off of the nightstand so that she could see clearly. After blinking a few times for good measure, everything came into focus, and she felt her blood run cold.
Staring back at her from Twitter, Instagram, and every social platform imaginable was her own face. Pictures from the last few days flooded her notifications. She had a string of concerned texts from Liza and a few other friends, and more messages from strangers than she could count on her socials.
Where did they get this many pictures without them noticing? How had they all found her online? And so quickly? Her mind was racing a mile a minute.
Against her better judgment, she opened Twitter again and immediately regretted it. Post after post, ranging from harmless, admittedly sweet comments, to vile opinions that she tried her hardest to scroll past with little success. Her heart pounded as too many feelings - panic, anxiety, self doubt- flooded her system.
Lucy felt tears pricking at her eyes. She attempted a slow, deep breath, but choked on a sob as she shakily released it.
Her jaw quivered as the tears escaped, despite her best efforts. She opened the waiting texts from Liza, desperate for some sort of comfort.
'Are you OK? Call me if you need, no matter what time.'
'Don't let those idiots in your head, girl. Not even for a minute.'
'I know this is probably the last thing you want to do, but when you're ready and can wrap your head around it- you should take a look at some of the pictures. The way he looks at you…it's something special, Lu.'
She knew that calling Liza was probably the best thing to do- someone else to help her talk out her feelings with. It was only around five o'clock in the morning back home, though, so that would have to wait a few hours.
Fuck it, she thought, as she decided to take Liza's advice.
Lucy opened Instagram again, steeling herself as she began looking through the photos. She only got through a couple before she quickly felt anxious all over again, and she shoved her phone across the table. She closed her eyes and let out a frustrated huff.
More than the anxiety, or worry, or stress about what all of this could mean for her and Roman, the intrusion on their privacy is what was really getting to Lucy. They were never planning on hiding their relationship from anyone, but they hadn't really discussed how, or when, or even if they would go public, or what that would even look like. She'd figured when the time came, she'd follow Roman's lead.
She felt embarrassed that she hadn't seen this coming, when in hindsight, how could it not? They'd been to some of the most populated tour attractions in England yesterday, of course someone would have spotted Roman, Dean, and Seth, casually dressed as they were. It was hard not to notice those three. People went viral for much less. Lucy had just simply never considered that she'd been of interest to anyone who'd be looking. But even as she sat by herself, sipping her coffee as no one paid her any mind, she felt like eyes were on her. For the first time since they'd been seeing each other, Lucy felt like she had been caught unprepared.
Then there was the expression on Roman's face that was burned into her mind. He'd looked so forlorn, so deeply concerned this morning, and she hadn't been able to change it. Lucy had been too overwhelmed with shock that words had failed her, and she knew he was still upset when he left. She could text him now, but she knew that it wouldn't be enough, and she still didn't know what to say, even if she wanted to.
Sweat beaded on his forehead and dripped down his back and chest as Roman took his frustrations out at the gym. He added some more weight and laid back on the bench, pushing his muscles to their limit as he counted in his head. Working out always helped to clear his head - sweat out the bad to make room for the good. He focused on the music in his ears, feeling the beat as he lifted at a careful, steady pace. Once his set was done, he decided to go for one more, just for a little extra oomph. Roman focused on the bass line, keeping his breathing measured, and pushed through. On his last few reps, he felt his arms starting to tire out, and decided to call it.
Roman was re-racking his weights just as Seth was finishing up as well, grabbing his water bottle and taking a long swig before pouring it over his bare chest to help cool down.
"Looked like you were going pretty hard," Seth said, breathing heavily, jutting his chin at the weight bench, "you good?"
Seth eyed him carefully, and Roman stalled by taking a long sip of water, cursing in his head. Why did he have to be so damn perceptive? Finally he just shook his head. He'd never be able to get anything past Seth, no matter how hard he tried, so he didn't bother.
"I wish I'd had more time before we left this morning," Roman said before dragging a towel over his face, "you should have seen her, man…" he trailed off. Seth nodded thoughtfully, taking another sip of water. Roman had told him and Dean briefly that Lucy had seen the pictures and the accompanying frenzy of discourse in the cab that morning, but he hadn't elaborated much beyond that. Thankfully, his brothers had picked up on his mood and didn't push the issue.
Now, with today's media rounds in the rearview and a solid workout finished, Roman could start to wrap his head around his morning. He still felt awful, but the anger had subsided, leaving uncertainty in its wake- which was, somehow, even worse.
"Let's go get some lunch," Dean said, walking over to them and ripping off his sweat soaked shirt, haphazardly wiping down his chest and stomach with it, "I'm starving."
"I could eat," Seth agreed, "I think I spotted a few places down the block."
"Sure, yeah," Roman said gruffly, and Dean gave him a sympathetic smile before punching him lightly on the arm.
"C'mon, you'll feel better after grub," he said, and Roman gave him a small grin and a nod.
…
Roman swallowed a spoonful of chicken biryani, the warm, savory rice comforting in the cold afternoon. Dean had ordered another chicken dish that was served over chips in lieu of rice and was topped with sliced jalapenos and cheese, while Seth opted for a pepper chicken wrap with a large bed of greens on the side. They were seated in a booth with tall seat backs, affording them a good amount of privacy.
After another swallow of food, Roman set down his fork.
"How do I fix this?" he asked quietly, to neither of them in particular. He couldn't just stew quietly in his thoughts any more- he needed to figure out a solution.
Across the table from him, Seth's eyes widened slightly at the abrupt question. He stabbed at a cucumber slice and chewed it slowly before answering.
"There's not really anything to fix," Seth said in an even tone, "it's not like you put those pictures out there or anything like that. Stuff happens, man."
Roman turned to face Dean, next to him in the booth, with slightly raised eyebrows, silently asking him to weigh in. Dean took a long sip from his drink, seeming to mull the question over.
"I get that you feel bad about how this all went down," Dean said, gesturing vaguely in the air with his fork, a chip speared on the end of it, "but aren't you at least a little bit relieved? It's one less thing you have to worry about now. If all goes according to plan, you were going to start bringing her to red carpets, and Hall of Fame, and shit, right?"
"Yeah, but-" Roman started, but Dean cut him off.
"I know, you would've done it your way-" he said exasperatedly.
"-I would've done it her way," Roman interrupted, his voice louder now, "I don't give a damn about me, man. The dirt sheets can write whatever they want about me, but she didn't sign up for this."
"Rome," Seth said quickly in a low, warning tone, "no need to bite our heads off. We get it, and we're just trying to help."
Roman let out a frustrated sigh. Great, now on top of everything else he was alienating his closest friends.
"I know," he said with another sigh, looking contritely at Dean and Seth in turn, "sorry, I don't mean to be taking it out on you guys. I just want to figure out whatever's going on with Lucy- she looked so…closed off. It's driving me crazy, not knowing."
Dean and Seth were quiet for a moment, eating a bit more of their lunch. Roman just picked at his rice.
"Look," Dean said, turning his body so he could face Roman head on, "she asked for some distance, right? So she can sort through shit?" he asked, tapping his temple with his finger.
"Yeah," Roman answered with a nod, still feeling chastened.
"And do you remember what happened the couple of times you came chasing after me when I ran out of our room, or the arena, and I had specifically asked you not to?" he asked, looking at Roman pointedly.
"You punched me in the face," Roman said, cringing at the memories, "and then we fought it out," he finished, chuckling a little.
"Exactly," Dean said with a crooked smile, "so unless you want to let her swing on you and see if that helps anything, you just gotta give her the time, dude."
"She'll come to you when she's ready," Seth said, finishing Dean's thought, per usual, "but you never know, she could have a mean right hook," he quipped with a grin, and Roman let out another small chuckle, shaking his head as the tension eased.
"Fuck, I know, you're right," Roman admitted with a drawn out sigh, "I know."
Leave it to Dean to put him in his place- every damn time.
He resumed eating his lunch, mentally making peace with the face that there was nothing he could do but sit, wait, and hope for the best.
"Well, it sounds like you handled it as well as could be expected," Liza said, still in her pajamas and sipping a mug of steaming tea, "that can't have been the most fun way to wake up."
"Not exactly," Lucy replied shortly, propping her phone up against the lamp on the nightstand and sitting back against the headboard. She was back at the hotel on Facetime with Liza, now that it had finally reached an acceptable hour to call her.
"And you've had the morning to process a bit," Liza continued, "how ya feeling now?"
Lucy took a second to think. That really was the question of the day.
"I don't know," she answered with a sigh, "I'm not mad, I don't think, I just feel…out of my depth," she admitted, feeling a modicum of relief as she said the words out loud. She hadn't been able to pinpoint exactly why she felt so lousy until the thought left her mouth. Lucy wasn't angry, or hurt, she was simply feeling…lost. Like she was swimming in uncharted waters.
Liza hummed in response with an understanding nod, taking a long sip of her tea and a bite of the toast she was having for breakfast.
"Does Roman know that you're not upset with him?" Liza asked gently, though her tone was skeptical.
"I…" Lucy was about to say yes, when she realized that she didn't know for sure, "I think…I hope so. I mean, I told him he didn't do anything wrong…" she trailed off, letting Liza fill in the blanks.
"Well, I say step one is making sure that he definitely knows," Liza said, and Lucy nodded, "you know him better than I do, but I know if it were me, I'd be out of mind right about now, not knowing what's going on with you."
"Yeah," Lucy said, "yeah, I know. I just didn't know what to say. I still don't know what to say!" she groaned, "I was just sort of in shock, I guess. It was a lot to take in and I didn't know how to handle it so I…didn't. But I know you're right. Ugh. I really took this from bad to worse, didn't I?" she finished with another groan, closing her eyes and flopping her head back dramatically into the fluffy pillow.
"You're only human, Lu," Liza said with a sympathetic laugh, "and it sounds like you both needed to let everything simmer. You'll make it right later. And you know, if you don't feel like you know how to navigate this, I'm pretty sure you could ask your boyfriend. Or his two best friends, who have seemingly adopted you. Or an entire roster of public figures that you happen to be sharing a hotel with."
"Alright, alright," Lucy said with a small laugh, "I get your point."
"Good," Liza smiled, "now- what have you got planned today? You guys drove into Nottingham late last night, right? Anything cool there to see?"
"Yeah, a few things- we're all going to a bar in an old church after the show. But I don't know, I thought maybe I'd just stay in this afternoon, watch TV or something until I head to the arena later," Lucy answered, feeling fatigue set in as her anxiety ebbed.
"Oh no you don't," Liza said firmly, brushing the crumbs off of her fingers over her now empty dish, giving her an unimpressed look, "you did not drag yourself to another country and get plastered all over the internet just to sulk in a hotel room. Drag your ass up and go explore, like we both know you want to."
"Aren't you supposed to be comforting me, here?" Lucy asked with a huff, feeling a smile tug at the corner of her mouth.
"Tough love, babes," Liza said with a grin, "go on- you'll feel better once you're out and about. Don't make a weird day worse by depriving yourself of having some fun. And hey, if you catch anyone being sneaky, just smile pretty for the camera and move on."
"Oh, well, when you put it that way," Lucy replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Hey, at least it's a chance to show off that fancy purple coat you brought," Liza argued playfully.
Lucy grinned, glancing over at the coat in question that was draped over one of the chairs at the small table against the window.
"OK, fine," Lucy said, raising her palms in surrender, "not all of your ideas are bad."
"And hey," Liza said, her tone returning to a more serious one, "if you go back out and it's really too much, there's no shame in taking the day. You know I'm mostly kidding around, yeah?"
"I know," Lucy said gratefully, genuinely appreciating her friend at that moment, "and, thanks."
They said their goodbyes, and Lucy stood up to check her hair and apply a little makeup for an extra confidence boost. Before she headed out, she decided to send a text to Roman. She sat for a moment, watching the cursor blink as she debated what exactly to say to him. Lucy wanted to reassure him that no matter what happened this morning, she was still all in.
Admittedly that was a lot to ask from a text, she decided to keep it simple.
'Hope you're having a great day with the guys. Tell them I said hi. Can't wait to see you tonight, baby. I'll be the one cheering the loudest ;)'
There was so much more that she wanted to say, but that would do for now.
Sitting around the empty ring, Seth, Roman, and Dean were looking over the script for a promo they were to film in an hour or so. They detested reciting lines that someone else had come up with - Dean in particular- but for once Roman was glad to be handed whatever it is he had to say. He was murmuring his lines to himself when he felt a buzzing in his pocket. Checking the screen, he saw it was a text from Lucy, and his face lit up as he read it. Seth bounded over curiously, and he held out the screen for him to read. Seth smiled, showing off the gap in his front teeth.
"See what happens when you give people room to breathe?" he said, flopping down to sit next to Roman and nudging his arm with elbow.
"Right again, mister architect," Roman said with a smirk, nudging him back as Seth released a cocky laugh.
"Yeah, well, probably helps that I've handled myself the wrong way once or twice," Seth said, nodding over to where Dean was chatting animatedly with Cesaro, throwing punches in the air and laughing. Roman grunted out a chuckle and nodded at that. He wasn't the only one who'd had to learn the hard way that when Dean said he wanted to be alone, he meant it.
"And we're all still going out later?" Seth asked, absentmindedly fiddling with the script in his hands.
"As far as I know," Roman said with a shrug, "though if she doesn't feel like it, Lucy and I might bail. I wouldn't blame her, ya know?"
Seth nodded his understanding.
Lucy had found the place and it looked really cool, but Roman would be lying if he said a quiet night in with her sounded more appealing. He'd be happy either way, though, as long as they finally got more than ten minutes together.
He and Seth ran their lines back and forth for a few minutes, having them just about down when Dean joined them. After another few minutes they were word perfect, finding a good rhythm between all three of them that it almost felt natural. Cesaro and Sheamus rolled into the ring, wanting to go over a few things for their match later, and the three Shield brothers slid out to give them the room to work and made their way backstage.
Since they had a promo to film, they'd need to get dressed sooner than they usually would, but they had some time to meander a bit as they headed towards the locker room. They walked by makeup, waving hello to the Bella twins, who were sitting still in the chairs as the artists worked carefully on their faces with a shimmery powder. Paige was just leaving, having just finished getting made up, and she greeted the men with a smile.
"So Roman," she said, turning to him with an intrigued expression, "I hear your lovely Lucy got famous overnight, literally."
"Something like that," he grumbled with a nod.
"Well, not like you can blame them for snapping a few pictures," Paige said with a placating smile, "you two do make quite the adorable couple."
"Thanks," he said, cheeks turning pink as his mouth curved slightly into a grin, "even I have to admit, some of the pictures were cute."
"Told ya those leading man good looks would come in handy," Seth joked, eliciting a laugh from all of them.
"I think I'm gonna loosen up with a lap around the concourse," Dean said, rolling his shoulders back and twisting his head from side to side.
"Yeah, I'll go too," Seth agreed, "how about you, Rome?"
"I'm good, I got a little carried away earlier, don't want to overdo it" Roman said, waving at them to go ahead, "I'll go hunt down a good 'undisclosed location' for us."
"Cool, see ya in a bit," Dean said, taking off with Seth just behind him. Once they were out of sight, Paige cleared her throat, drawing Roman's attention. She walked a little ways away so that they were distanced a bit from their coworkers, and Roman followed.
"You're still wanting to go through with your plan, then?" she asked quietly.
Roman debated internally for a minute before he nodded with a renewed determination.
"Yeah," he said, "yeah, let's do it. Unless- do you think it's a bad idea after all this?" he asked with a scrunched brow, realizing a woman's perspective was probably a smart thing to consider.
"I say go for it," Paige said, dangling a set of keys and handing them to him with a smile, "and you can thank me later."
Lucy walked through the impressive gallery of art in Nottingham Castle, all gathered in a long, beautiful room with decorative archways and a skylight above. She took her time, appreciating the paintings and perusing their detailed plaques as she went. There were several clusters of benches and chairs in the center of the room, and she decided to take a moment and make a few notes in her journal. She let her mind drift over the day from the very beginning, recounting it as her pen scratched over the pages, trying to be as detailed as possible. While the idea had originally just been a travel diary, Lucy had found that she liked getting her thoughts and feelings about her days down on paper as well. She'd never been one for diary writing, but once she'd started it, she liked how easily her thoughts flowed out onto the pages. Once she was finished, she tucked the notebook away into her bag and sat for a minute longer, enjoying the quiet of the room, save for a few people discussing the art in hushed voices.
Once she reached the end of the gallery, Lucy stepped out into a courtyard. Though the sun was shining, it was still a brisk day, and Lucy was glad she'd worn the aforementioned purple coat. She wandered around a while longer, admiring what remained of the Medieval architecture before heading back towards the city center. She'd stumbled upon an itinerary online of all of the places that, according to legend, were connected to Robin Hood, and had made it through most of them during the course of her day. Sherwood Forest was a natural first stop, with its imposing one thousand year old oak tree. Lucy had taken in the village of Edwinstowe and admired the statue of Robin Hood and Maid Marion, and visited St. Mary's church, where they had supposedly wed.
It had been a beautiful day once the sky's had cleared in the early afternoon, and she'd seen a lot of interesting, historical places. The only trouble was, everything about the day felt a little bit off. She was missing Roman. Not just missing him, but worrying about him, too. She had initially been glad for the day to wrap her head around whatever the hell it was she was feeling, but now she wished they'd had more time to talk. Lucy hoped that he didn't think she was shutting him out- even if it was sort of true. She kicked herself for shutting down the way she had- they'd promised to talk to each other.
More than anything, with all of these thoughts and concerns and yo-yo-ing emotions, Lucy was tired - mentally. Emotionally. Physically. Maybe there was a hint of late onset jet lag mixed in there, too. She checked the time and assessed that she had a few hours until the doors opened for Smackdown- plenty for an attempt at a nap in the hotel. She grabbed a cab and took a short ride back.
Once she was in their room, she was still palpably missing Roman. She dug through her bag and pulled out the hoodie he'd given her. Slipping it on was immediately comforting, and she curled into bed, nuzzling her face into the hood, and surrendering herself to the pull of sleep.
Their music hit, the familiar bass notes echoing through the arena as the members of the Shield made their entrance through the crowd. Roman followed last behind Dean and Seth, moving along at a nice pace as through the sea of people. As they got closer to the barricade, Roman kept his eyes peeled. He'd managed to wrangle a seat right along the aisle for Lucy, and for once their entrance hadn't been changed at the last minute, so they should be about to come right up on her. He followed his brothers down a few more steps when he recognized the familiar soft brown curls and bright green eyes. He noticed Dean give a subtle nod in her direction before clearing the last few steps. Roman held out his arm towards her while maintaining his cool, calculating expression - breaking it only for a moment to meet her eyes. His heart soared when she smiled at him and squeezed his arm, and he fought to keep from breaking character, letting his mouth curl just enough that it was a passable haughty smirk. As they hopped the barricade, he heard Lucy give an enthusiastic cheer.
The match felt like it was over in a flash. With the weight of worrying about Lucy lifted, at least for the moment, he fell into step with Dean and Seth seamlessly, and his focus didn't break until they were leaping back over the barricade. The camera stayed on the Shield as they worked their way through the crowd, arms around one another in celebration of their win, and Roman flipped his now sweaty hair out of his face, turning to grin triumphantly at the crowd. Once again his eyes fell on Lucy, who was all smiles, and he could see now that she wore his - well, hers now, he supposed - hoodie, and Roman felt his post match high reach new heights.
…
Gathered around a couple of tables that had been pushed together were Jey, Jimmy, Naomi, Paige at one, and Roman, Lucy, Dean, and Seth at another, enjoying a round of drinks and recounting their day. Naomi and Paige had been on a panel about being a woman in the business earlier in the day, and they said it had gone over really well.
"I didn't know about that panel," Lucy exclaimed, sounding both intrigued and disappointed, "that sounds like it was a great discussion. I would've gone if I'd have known."
"I think the Big Dog likes keeping you all to himself," Naomi said, shooting Roman a playful glare, "gotta share the wealth."
Roman chuckled, tightening the arm he had slung around Lucy's shoulder.
"Can you blame me?" he asked. Lucy blushed slightly as she giggled, resting her head against his shoulder.
"Next time," she assured Naomi genuinely, holding her glass up to her. Naomi smiled and matched the gesture.
Roman sighed happily. The night so far had been relaxed, and he felt like he could breathe easily again. He looked around and took in the venue. Tall, ornate stained glass windows were on every wall, lit by lights shining through them. Their table sat beneath a curved stone archway, and it looked like much of the original architecture of the church was still intact. Lucy detailed the places she'd been today, and Roman listened attentively as she described the forests and historic buildings. As she finished, Lucy let out a yawn and settled more deeply into his side.
"Getting tired, sweetheart?" Roman asked, gently rubbing her arm with his hand.
"Yeah, I'm beat," she admitted with a small smile.
"OK," he said with a nod, and turned to the group, "I think we're gonna head out, y'all."
Everyone bid goodnight to the couple, and they headed on their way.
Lying in bed on her side, Lucy listened to the sounds of swishing in the sink as Roman brushed his teeth and got ready for bed. She fidgeted nervously with the edge of the blanket, waiting for him to join her.
She had spent the last half of the day wanting nothing more than to talk to him, to see how he was doing, and now she was terrified to disrupt the calm that had settled over them both. But it was a discussion they needed to have- she knew that, and she wouldn't let her nerves get in the way.
As he flicked the bathroom light off and climbed into bed, Lucy noticed that Roman looked tentative as well. While it should have made her nervous, she felt comforted knowing that they were on the same wavelength.
"So, umm," she started off, unsure of where to begin, "about…this morning."
Roman's eyes snapped to hers, his brown eyes wide, and her heart ached at the trepidation in his expression. She took a deep breath and reached over to take his hand in hers, hoping to steady them both.
"First and foremost," she said firmly, sounding more confident than she felt, "I want you to know, Ro- I'm not mad. Not at you, or the people who posted the photos, or at anyone, but most importantly, not at you. And I don't blame you. I was just…caught off guard."
Roman swallowed, lacing his fingers through hers as she spoke, eyes never leaving hers.
"And I want to apologize," she said, taking a deep breath before continuing.
"Apologize? Baby, you didn't do-" Roman started to object with a frown.
"I know," she interrupted gently, "I know it's not my fault what happened, either. But this morning, you were so concerned about me and what I was feeling, offering to change your whole day around so we could discuss it, and I just immediately turned you down…" she trailed off quietly.
"And then," Lucy continued, feeling herself begin to babble the way she always did when she was anxious, "all day- most of it, anyway- I was miserable, wishing I could talk to you, and-"
"-wondering what I was thinking?" Roman interjected, and Lucy stopped, blushing slightly. His mouth curved.
"Sounds like we both had a miserable day," he said, "and I gotta be honest, I'm to blame there, too."
Lucy furrowed her brow, waiting for him to elaborate.
"As soon as I saw that my entire feed was flooded, I ran over to show Seth and Dean. Seth offered to cancel our interview, and I told him not to. I don't know why I thought you wouldn't see it, but I figured if I waited until later to tell you about everything, I could distract myself with work until tonight. I think…I think I wasn't ready to deal with it, either. Not until I looked into your eyes and couldn't figure out what was going on behind them."
Lucy hummed and nodded her understanding, absorbing his words.
"I almost took Dean's head off at lunch," Roman admitted with a wry chuckle, "I think I let my anger get the best of me. I feel very…protective…" he paused, looking almost embarrassed, but not breaking eye contact, "over you, and I think I didn't quite know how to handle this. Not being able to shield you from it."
His eyes shone, and Lucy felt her chest constrict as she realized there were tears in his eyes. She took a moment to collect her thoughts, aching to soothe them both, but knowing they needed to keep pushing forward.
The only way out is through, she thought. She chewed on her lip, debating how to proceed.
"I love that you want to protect me," she said, heart pounding as she saw his eyes soften momentarily at the second word, "and I think, deep down, I was trying to protect you, too. I like to think that I'm good at handling tough situations, and I didn't want you to see me so out of my depth. I still can't completely wrap my head around it. You're juggling so much here, and I didn't want to make you feel like you had to carry my baggage, too."
Roman released a sigh, bringing her hand to his lips to place a kiss on her fingers.
"Hey, there's a reason I've got these big shoulders," he said, smiling a little and flexing his bicep, "I can carry whatever life throws at me or you, babe."
"I know you can, Superman," she said with a light laugh, "but even you need a break, sometimes. Even if you're too stubborn to say so. Maybe especially then."
Roman opened his mouth like he was ready to argue that he was not stubborn, but he quickly closed it.
The two of them sat in silence for a bit, deep in thought, and Lucy felt the gentle beating of Roman's heart as he continued to hold it against his chest.
A question popped into Lucy's mind.
"Did Hunter or anyone at work say anything about the photos to you?" she asked, suddenly worried about the answer. Disrupting his job was exactly why Roman hadn't been dating, and this could arguably be exactly what he was worried about.
"No," he replied calmly with a shake of his head, "there's a lot going on this week, and it's not like we were caught in a scandal. Paige mentioned them, but it was just to say how cute we are."
Lucy smiled and reached her free hand over to stroke Roman's jaw.
"Well, she's right about that," she said. He smiled and leaned into her touch.
Earlier in the night as the crowds were still filtering in for the taping, Lucy had summoned her courage and swiped through some of the pictures on Twitter and Instagram. One in particular - Roman and she were grinning at each other while Dean and Seth were mid laugh, surrounded by twinkling lights at Leadenhall Market - had made her smile ear to ear, and she had saved it immediately. There was another that had been taken through the pod of the London Eye- Roman's arms were around her waist, a serene look on her face as they surveyed the view, and in the reflection on the glass, you could just make out the buildings below them.
It was clear that neither of them were thrilled about the way these pictures had come about or made public, but she was glad to have them nonetheless. Maybe they could look through them together tomorrow, she mused, once they were more clear headed about the whole thing.
With her hand still resting against his cheek, she felt Roman's breath ghosting over her thumb, and his eyes had drifted closed. Lucy considered waking him so that they could continue, but stopped herself.
He looked so peaceful, and the truth of the matter was, nothing would be resolved tonight, no matter how much they talked in circles, and it didn't really need to be. They could both do better, but they had done alright.
Lucy carefully drew the covers over them both, settling her head on Roman's chest next where her hand was still captured in his. He instinctively drew his other arm around her, holding her close, and letting out a sleepy, contented sounding sigh. Lucy placed a kiss on his chest, relishing in the warm comfort of his embrace after the long, fraught day. Just before she drifted off, a thought whispered in her mind.
I really think that I might love you.