Chapter 1
The sound of a pounding fist against Effy Stonem from her sleep, exhaustion escaping her body in the form of an annoyed groan. Her blue eyes peeled open and the sunlight beaming from her curtains caused her to close them quickly.
"First day of College." Effy said happily.
Effy reluctantly gets out of bed and stumbles to the bedroom, then turns on the shower and waits for it to heat up. Whilst Effy did, she turned the cold tap on and cupped her hands together, splashing the freezing water onto her face to wake herself up. Her body tingles from the sensation and Effy drys her face with a nearby towel. Slipping out of her pajamas, Effy quickly hopped into the shower, humming the tune to some rock song she heard on the radio last night. Effy spot of her shower gel from the toiletry rack and gets a drop of it onto her hands.
"Effy?" Her mum Anthea asked, as she through the door open and her voice muffled from the running water and door between us.
"Yeah?" Effy says whilst rubbing the gel on her neck and underarms.
"You always take ages to choose one." Anthea questions. "Why is she being so nice? And once again, there's no way you are sitting in that car on your own with your father."
"Yeah." Effy said, rolls her eyes and steps out of the shower, wraps a towel round her body and leaves her hair to air dry. "I'm on my way."
"Good." Anthea said, she through the door closed.
Effy stepped over the pile of clothes to her bed to see what she picked out of her, she chose a black bra and blue underwear with purple ripped tights on her legs. She shrugged as she stared at myself in the mirror at her black bra, blue underwear, and purple ripped tights and smiled to think sex in school. As Effy with who has sex in school?
"Sex." Effy said with a smile. "I'm Effy. And I think my mom is having an affair. Sir. I'm feeling rather shit. I think I need to go to the nurse's office. They don't have a nurse. I'm sex with someone in the nurse's office. We are naked in school."
"Effy!" Her dad Jim yelled.
"What?" Effy asked.
"You're late to high school. You are with me in the car." Jim.
"I got it, Dad." Effy said.
"Sweetheart, you got your twin sister to wake up and hurry to come in the parking lot." Anthea said.
"Mum, please, I finished all my bra, underwear and purple ripped tights. I took the mini gray dress, socks, black combat boots and necklaces and tones, too. I'll be back." Effy said.
"Okay." Anthea said.
Effy chose her mini gray dress with socks in black combat boots. She has her gold necklaces in neck and her left arm in silver and black tones. She does up the clasp behind her neck and lets it fall onto her chest, sorting it out in her mirror.
"Sex." Effy smiled and winked, as she grabbed her black and white bag.
Effy walked away, pulled the door open, and went to her twin sister's room.
The sound of a pounding fist against her door stirred her twin sister Elaine from her sleep, exhaustion escaping her body in the form of an annoyed groan. Her green eyes peeled open and the sunlight beaming from her curtains caused her to close them quickly.
"Hold on, Tosser." Elaine grumbled, throwing a boot from her floor back at the door as her sister began to yell.
"Elaine, get up! You're going to make us late!" Effy yelled through the door, only getting a rough boot thrown at it as a response. She slammed her first against the girls door one last time before the sound of her footsteps receding down the stairs caught Elaine's attention.
"Finally…" Elaine let out a forced sigh as she pushed herself from the comforts of her bed.
Elaine was aware of the fact her sister, Effy, would be riding in their car with their dad, Jim but she wanted to walk and smoke a spliff on the way. Ten minutes went by and in the middle of her getting dressed, the sound of a car driving away confirmed that they were gone.
A boy, Freddie McClair, is on a skateboard. He receives a text.
We smock your last spliff.
"Fuckers." Freddie said.
Freddie joins his friends, James Cook and JJ Jones.
"Fredster! This stuff is fucking rubbish, by the way." Cook said.
"Stop stealing my fucking spliff! Morning, gents, you thieving bastards." Freddie said.
"Come on, I got you some breakfast." Cook said.
"They allowed to serve lager at 8 in the morning?" Freddie asked.
"I had a word… JJ's got some interesting thoughts on the benefits of Carlsberg as part of a balanced dietary pattern." Cook said.
"Yeah?" Freddie asked.
"Calorifically it's right up there with 392 energy units, which is nothing on the Snickers Duo I'm having which has the additional drawback of 28 grams of fat. Although I can call upon 1.2 grams of fibre, which doesn't feature in your lager. But you could argue in some sense that hops constitute one of your five a day." JJ said.
"That'll do me." Freddie said.
"You not having that, Freds?" Cook asked, as he took the beer.
"That's his fourth so far." Freddie said.
"Is that a good idea? We've college in half an hour." Freddie said.
"You'll be carrying an attention deficit into the day." JJ said.
"Attention deficit? Intelligence deficit!" Freddie said.
"Pig!" JJ said.
"Well, maybe I won't go then." Cook said.
"You're going to bunk off your first day?" Freddie asked.
"Freddie, mate, the sun's shining. We're bevvied, spliffed and sorted. Feels like the beginning of something. So I'm waiting." Cook said.
"For what?" Freddie asked.
"The signal." JJ said.
"We're starting college, Cook." Freddie said.
"No, we're waiting. Something's gotta start us off." Cook said.
"You're running a randomised fate model to see if you continue in full time education?" JJ asked.
"I need motivation. And it needs to be better than sitting in the sun, with you two, drinking beers and smoking your blow. Jensie! Have the same again? And sling a couple of them cherry shots on top? Cheers, darling. Yes, I can feel it! It's got potential, this day. It's pregnant." Cook explained.
"Shouldn't someone pick up that bike before it causes an…?" JJ asked, as he pointed, Cook and Freddie turned to the car…
Once a park near the College came into sight, Elaine noticed her father's car parked in the middle of the road with a bike in front of it and specifically her father yelling at an elderly woman.
"For fuck's sake! Jesus shit! Where the fսck did that...?! What the fuck?! Oh! Look at it! Look at it! Look at my fucking car! You saw that, didn't you? Did you!? Did you see it?!" Jim said angrily.
"I don't know. You drove into the bollard." The old woman said.
"I did not! The fucking bike jumped out in front of me! You must have seen it, you're my witness, right? Are you blind? Why is everyone round here fucking blind?" Jim said angrily.
Elaine threw the butt of her spliff to the ground and crushed it with the bottom of her boot.
"Effy. You get mad at me. We're late." Elaine said.
"I know." Effy said.
"Dad was very angry at the old woman." Elaine said to her sister.
"Yeah. Hey, look at the boys." Effy pointed.
Elaine could see how three boys seemed to have their eyes glued to her sister, drooling over her. Freddie looked at Elaine smirkled.
"That girl's black hair's looking at you, Freddie." JJ pointed at Elaine.
"Yeah." Freddie said with a smile.
"Maybe the girls are looking at me." JJ said.
"The girls are not looking at you, JJ." Freddie said.
"Okay. Nice hair." JJ said.
"Yeah." Freddie said.
"She's got nice hair and nice eyes. And nice breasts, probably." JJ haired said.
"Shut up, JJ." Freddie said.
"Nipples. We'll just imagine her bottom." JJ said.
Effy turned her head to Elaine, who seemed to be Freddie.
"That skateboard boy's looking at you, Elaine." Effy pointed at Freddie.
"Yeah." Elaine smirkled.
"The boys are not looking at me." Effy said.
Elaine rolled her eyes as she walked over to the window to Effy's side of the car and she glanced over to the group who seemed to now look at both of them with interest and curiosity before she turned her need back to her sister.
Effy and Elaine turned to their her father talking angrily to the elderly woman.
"You are as stupid as you look! Ah, for fuck... I want your mobile number." Jim said.
"I don't have one." The old woman said.
"Dad yelled at her." Elaine said.
"Quiet." Effy said.
"Your fucking email address, then! Look at the state of my fucking car! You must have seen something, you demented bint!" Jim said.
Cook joins Jim. Freddie understands that he used some ketchup as some blood.
"What… What happened?" Cook asked.
"Is that your bike, you fucking idiot?!" Jim said angrily.
"I was signaling... you just kept coming…" Cook said.
"I didn't even see you! You came out of fucking nowhere!" Jim said.
"I was trying to make you see me. You just kept coming, man!" Cook said angrily.
"No. That's bollocks. No. Listen!" Jim said.
"You fuckеd my bike. You just ran straight through me." Cook said.
"That is not right! You haven't got a witness. Nobody saw me knock you off your bike." Jim said.
"I did. It was just like he said! You ran him over, and now he's bleeding." The old woman said.
"Profusely. Perhaps we should call a policeman. I think it's a crime to leave the scene of a…" Cook said.
"There's no need for that. I'm sure we can sort this out. Let me buy you a new bike... Look, here. Come on, take it!" Jim said.
Jim gives some money. Cook turned his head to Effy in the car and raised on smoking the cigarette bit to take a look at him. Elaine turned her head to Effy, who seemed to be Cook.
"Take it! Come on, have the lot. Have the whole fucking lot! Oh, bollocks! Forgive and forget, Okay? Forgive and forget, Okay? OKAY?! All right." Jim said.
"Everything all right, Gran?" The boy asked.
"Oh yes. Just a slight problem, all sorted out now. Yes. He's a pillock, he wrapped his car around that bollard, and he's called me a demented bint." The old woman said.
"What the fսck did you say to my Gran, man?" The boy asked.
"Hello, nice to meet you…" Jim said.
"Don't fucking, "Hello," me…" The boy said angrily.
After spending a few minutes talking with Effy, she finally got out of the car and the twins watched as one of the boys with a red shirt stumbled over to the elderly woman and her father holding his head which seemed to be covered in ketchup.
A sly smile tugged on her lips along with Effy's and after her father finished his bitching Elaine walked over to the troublesome boy standing with a cheeky smile on his face after observing the scene and dragged her finger down his temple before licking it.
"Sweet." Effy said with a smile.
Elanie chuckled and took her sister walking away. Cook, Freddie, and JJ looked at the twins leaves at the high school.
"Dad says some things are best left to the imagination. But that's not right, is it?" JJ asked.
"Your dad's a stupid tosser, JJ." Cook said.
"Yes. Do you think she's going where we're going?" JJ asked.
The three boys saw Effy and Elaine walked away. Cook turned his head to Jim talking to the boy and turned his head.
"She is now." Cook said.
"Ketchup. Cool. That ketchup boy's looking at you, Effy." Elaine said, eyeing him up and down before she began to walk towards Roundview College.
"Yeah. He is now." Effy said with a smile on Elaine chuckle.
Effy and Elaine began to walk towards Roundview College.
A bubbly girl with pigtails named Pandora Moon soon caught up with the duo and invited herself to sit next to them on a beach as they observed the students around them. Cliques were formed and Elaine eventually noticed that the group of boys the twins encountered were in fact going to the same school as them. Elaine couldn't keep her eyes away from the tanned one who also saw her and smiled. Effy was interested in another situation which involved identical twins with dark red hair. One was surrounded by girls with a guy named Danny Guillermo signing another girls tits that looked well in his thirties whilst the other looked quite lagged behind as if she were the other's shadow.
"Bonkers!" Pandora says, amazed by what she's watching. "What's surf and turf, Eff?" She asks, looking down at Effy with a smile on her face.
"Sex." Effy bluntly replied, blowing smoke from her lips as she looked up at Pandora.
"Wow! We'll have a whizzer time at this college, Eff! Aint's we El?" Pandora asked as she turned her attention to the twin next to Effy.
"Yeah. Whizzer." Elaine replied, giving Pandora a genuine smile as she took the cigarette from her sister's hand and put it up to her lips instead.
"I'm definitely going to have surf and turf, ASAP." Pandora added. "Mum says boys only want one thing so my plan is to give it to them, lots of times." By then, Elaine has started to zone out and ignore what was going on around her. It only lasted for a few minutes after she heard a yell from the popular redhead.
"Bye! Christ's sakes, Ems. Come on, you loser! Oh... What's wrong with you? You're always lagging behind me." She snapped, clearly annoyed by the way her sister was so far and falling behind. "Why can't you wear decent clothes? Right."
Elaine was interested in the girls, letting out a soft.
"Oh." Elaine said, as she watched. "Right. You hated her." The other twin said before Pandora followed with a question.
"Who do I hate, El?" Pandora questioned, wondering who she was supposed to hate.
"I'll let you know." Elaine said.
"Cool." Pandora said.
"Let's get this party started." Effy replied.
"Yeah." Elaine replied, as she got up and grabbed her bag, throwing the almost finished cigarette to the ground before she took Effy's hand.
"You two want a lollipop?" Pandora asked.
"No." Effy replied.
"Sure." Elaine replied.
Elaine, Effy, Pandora, and students into the school.