To say that it had been a particularly taxing week would be an understatement.

Not only because three quarters of the student population were now treating his snakes as if they were the ones responsible for these attacks. Even if the little idiots had briefly blamed Potter before he managed to briefly prove that he had inherited some of the brilliance that a certain red-haired Gryffindor had once possessed.

And not only because his godson was once again revealing that he had inherited the worst traits of his parents, without any of their more admirable qualities.

The chief source of his less than amicable mood was the fact that the Imbecile, whose exaggerated fables had somehow convinced Dumbledore that he was capable of teaching one of Hogwarts's core subjects, had decided to involve him in display of grandstanding mediocrity.

Snape could understand the desire to promote such an event. If only because it had the potential to make up for the fluctuating quality of the DADA's instructors, and perhaps to convince the Headmaster that he was the best choice for the position. Regardless of any potential 'backsliding' on his part.

But to have that buffoon be the one lead this, while HE was delegated to the role of assistant, which was in his mind code for 'babysitter'?

It was almost enough to make him long for the days where he was allowed to cast an Unforgivable or two. If only because he sincerely doubted that Lockhart was capable of learning anything without a strong dose of mental manipulation or pain.

It was a testament to his ability to keep his emotions in check, plus the fact that most of the student body, the males at least, were not blind to the fool's inadequacies, that the dour faced Potions Master was able to sit through the man's latest attempt to inflate his ego.

"Now then! Can you all see me?! Can you all...here me?"

A ridiculous set of questions considering the man had chosen to greet the students while standing on a raised platform.

But it was not his responsibility to keep him from making a fool of himself.

"Excellent. Now, in light of certain events, the Headmaster has agreed to my suggestion to form this little dueling club. To train you all up should you ever find yourself needing to pull off the type escapades that you have undoubtedly read about in my collected works."

Rolling his eyes at the reminder of the literary drivel that had somehow propelled this man into the public spotlight, the Head of Slytherin felt his already bad mood worsen as Lockhart gestured towards his temporary hiding space.

"But I will not be doing this alone. So let me introduce you to my assistant, Professor Snape."

Striding towards the stage with out a second glance at the whispering student body, though he was keenly listening for any muttered insults that would earn more further scrutiny in his Potions class, Snape kept his attention focused on his so called peer as he ascended the platform.

"He has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration. Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry. You'll still have your Potions Master when I'm through with him! Never fear."

He sincerely doubted that any student thought that Lockhart had a chance at defeating him. Though he wouldn't put it past those who belonged to houses other than his, Gryffindor chief among them, to wish for a mutual loss.

Time to reveal that such thoughts were folly.

"Now, to start off, we bow to each other. Like so."

Not even the Dark Lord himself could have forced him to willingly do more than slightly incline his head towards the waste bowing buffon.

"And then, we take three paces from each other. One, two, three."

With reflexes that could only be honed through years of experience, Snape was already turning, with his wand raised, as soon as he heard the word three.

A shame that he was forced to limit himself to the most basic, though still useful, spell that could be used in a life or death situation. But considering Dumbledore would probably withdraw his protection if he had casted something malicious like Sectumsempra, this would have to do.

"Expelliarmus!"

He was fully capable of casting the spell non-verbally.

But if his 'colleague' was nice enough to give him the chance to reveal just who should be teaching such an important subject, he was more than happy to oblige.

Especially since it was obvious that the idiot needed further instruction.

"An excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape! But if you don't mind me saying, it was pretty obvious, uh, what you were about to do. And if I had wanted to stop you, it would have been only too easy."

Sneering as Lockhart once again proved to be more concerned for his fragile than his responsibilities as an educator, Snape wasted no time in deflecting this meagre boast with a barely civil retort.

"Perhaps it would be prudent to first teach the students to block unfriendly spells, Professor?"

Enjoying the slightly flabbergasted expression of the blond idiot, Snape felt already thin patience stretch to near breaking at his co-worker's suggestion.

"An excellent suggestion, Professor Snape. Uh... Let's have a volunteer pair. Uh, Potter, Weasley. How about you?"

While he did not object to Lockhart's selection of Potter, if only because the boy was at least somewhat competent in causing harm to his opponent, the same could not be said for the ginger haired Gryffindor.

"If Weasley's talents in your classroom match what from what I have seen in mine, I have little doubt that Potter will be able to make quick work of him."

Ignoring the flushed expression of the least impressive member of the Weasley clan, Snape allowed his tone to become a touch less confrontational as he proposed an alternative whose result would only benefit him.

"Might I suggest someone from my own house? Malfoy, perhaps?"

Gesturing at his smirking godson, the greasy haired potions professor honestly wasn't sure which outcome he preferred.

Seeing Potter suffer a defeat at the hands of someone who he abused, if not entirely without cause, on a constant basis.

Or to have Draco's delusions about his abilities and invulnerability shattered to the point where he would be more receptive to his attempts in ensuring that he didn't walk down the same destructive path that had led to dozens, if not hundreds, of Witches and Wizards believing in the empty promises of a man, if he could even be called that anymore, who cared about nothing but his own power.

Whatever the result, it should prove to be small amusing distraction from the near monotonous existence that was his life.

...

Despite the ongoing, if low level, state of antagonism that existed between him and Hook Nose, currently Harry felt nothing but gratitude towards the man who hated him just because his sperm donor happened to be the man's chief childhood tormentor.

For with things back home tenser than normal, Via and Loona had provided him with a much better explanation of what had happened than the preening peacock, the last thing he wanted to do was stay at a boarding school.

His letters to his parents and employer, and a conversation with his preferred avian teacher, had ensured that they knew that he was more than willing to come home and offer up what support he could offer. But sadly, while it did result in his punishment being reduced to the point where his mom was talking about maybe seeing him next weekend, his offers of help had been politely rejected.

Meaning that he had to endure not only the idiotic conspiracy theories of his schoolmates, some of them still clinging to the idea that he was behind the poorly executed attacks, but also Lockhart's attempts to harness the uneasy atmosphere to create the image that he would solve the school's problems.

Still, if it hadn't been for the man's constant need to be in the spotlight, and Snape being the usual asshole that he was, he wouldn't have gotten a chance to vent his frustrations in one of the most cathartic ways imaginable.

'Scared Potter?"

And the best part of it was the fact that Malfoy's upcoming humiliation had been publicly sanctioned.

"No. But your about to be."

He never issued a threat unless he had both the means and willingness to back it up.

And unfortunately for Malfoy, he had no intention of listening to Lockhart's 'suggestion' about limiting himself to disarming spells.

And as luck would have it, neither did Malfoy.

"Everte Statum!"

Easily sidestepping the spell, thanks to all those training sessions to make him an effective member of I.M.P., Harry quickly responded with barrage.

None of them were lethal, though it would have been easy to 'accidentally' aim a Diffindo at a major artery rather than a sleeve or pant leg. But even if he was restricting his attacks to basic spells, no one would be able to claim that they weren't effective.

Leg locks.

The odd fire bolt.

An underpowered banishing charm.

Honestly it reminded him of one of the first training sessions he had ever had with Via and her father.

Both could have achieved an easy win, though he was sure it would have taken Via longer to pull it off since she had a long way to go before she could equal her dad, but instead they had dragged it out in order to teach him that sometimes a basic solution was the most effective one.

And while he had no doubt that Malfoy would likely seek retribution for this bloodless beatdown, he would still remember how little effort it took his 'favorite' badger to take him down.

Though sadly, at least for their idiot professor, who was desperately trying to put an end to this public humiliation, Malfoy proved to be a bit of a slow learner. Even if he surprisingly had enough willpower, or spite, to cast a single spell before he was once again thrown to the floor.

"Serpentsortia!"

...

While she would be lying if she didn't derive some small measure of satisfaction from watching her academic rival utterly trounce a student who should have long since been expelled for his appalling behavior and political views, Hermione nevertheless had to admit that she was also experience a small bit of fear as she realized exactly what Malfoy had conjured in his desperation.

She was uncertain if this was a living magical construct, or something that had been teleported from the wilds, but she knew that having a Black Mamba, the second largest venomous snake, at least according to Muggle Zoologists, in a room filled with dozens people was by no means something she wanted to experience.

And judging by Potter's wary expression, it was obvious that even felt as such. Which, though she loathed to admit it, went a long way in proving that he was not the Heir of Slytherin. If only because a descendent of that particular Founder he would have been able to exert control over any serpent with merely a word.

Something that even Slytherin's current head of house could not do.

"Don't worry Potter. I'll get rid of it for you."

She greatly disliked the man's attitude as an educator, for it was not enough for a teacher to know a subject they had to have the ability to pass on their knowledge, but the bushy haired Gryffindor was nevertheless happy to see that he could at least show concern for the wellbeing of his students.

Albeit in a manner that could only be labeled as smug.

Unfortunately, she was quickly reminded that Snape was not the only supervisor present.

"Allow me Professor Snape. Alarte Ascendare!"

Keeping her eyes on the already agitated serpent, who would no doubt be the furthest thing from calm after crashing into the ground after being thrown ten feet into the air, noting that it was now closer to Potter than before, Hermione had to keep herself from gasping as she heard another hissing sound.

Only this one had come from the throat of a human.

...

Though she was still upset at having been transported from her warm burrow to the prey rich hunting grounds of a Royal, the black scaled serpent was nevertheless shocked at hearing her noble language spoken by a two leg.

Both because she had never encountered one, though she had heard the tales from others of her kind, but also by the words that passed his mouth.

"Fuck Off!"

There was no fear in this two legged, who bizarrely enough also smelled of scales, and perhaps a touch of fire and something else she couldn't quite place. But even if the twelve-foot-long serpent was confused at meeting such a strange speaker, the words he had spoken had alerted her to the fact that this one still had the ignorance of youth.

A failing that had often resulted in successful hunt if she was fortunate enough to come across a prey creature that was both too young to have much experience about their sun beaten land, but too old to still have a parent watching their every move.

And while Speakers were to be obeyed, especially ones that resided within the territory of a Royal, there were limits.

She would indeed 'fuck off' as this Speaker instructed her.

But before she did, she would take the opportunity to reveal her displeasure at being treated in such a disrespectful manner.

And what better way to prove this than by sinking her fangs into other young two legs?

...

While his Occlumency allowed him to keep control of the myriad of emotions that he was experiencing at this moment, Snape could nevertheless admit that he was very unsettled at what he had witnessed.

Not because he was afraid of the deadly serpent, for a quick Vipera Evanesca would vanish the snake without undue difficulty, but rather because this display was very similar in nature to what he had witnessed during the last years of the Wizarding War.

And while he was confident that Potter was still no match for the Dark Lord, regardless of the private tutoring he had received from this Lord Goetia', the unnerving hissing, and the sight of a yet dangerous reptile being ordered around by an individual that was prone to violent displays did nothing to sooth his ease of mind.

Especially when he watched the serpent turn its attention towards someone who he knew for a fact wasn't an ally of Potter.

Uttering the incantation to banish the raised serpent, and ignoring the fearful and angry mutterings of the students, the sallow skinned Potions Professor quickly moved to take control of the situation before it could spiral further out of control.

"This event is now cancelled. Anyone who is still here within a minute's time will find themselves in detention."

Of course considering the speed of the student rumor mill, this would probably only increase the tense atmosphere the attacks had created. Especially since the black colored serpent had been staring quite intently at another well known irritant.

But that mattered little at this moment since THIS was something that deserved the immediate attention of the man whose experience in such matters greatly rivaled his own.

"Except you for you Potter. We're going to the Headmaster."

...

While he wasn't a complete nerd about it like a certain bowtie wearing Imp, Blitzo nevertheless felt a very real sense of satisfaction as he realized he was almost finished with his self appointed task.

Yes he knew that he was just stalling for time before he had to tackle the last, and most important name on his list, but the experience he was getting from apologizing to those he fucked over, except for Fizz since they had already buried the hatchet, would prove to be very useful once he managed to corner the privileged asshole.

Though Stolas's apology would be a touch more heartfelt than the half assed ones he had given to the others.

And there were a lot of them.

The one-eyed cannibalistic trailer trash who decided to shack up with the somewhat less attractive teacher tits who had put a hit on her in the first place.

The homeless talking baby and his pair of fuck sheep.

And even the screeching Harpy who was always jealous that her husband responded more favorably to his methods of domination rather than hers. Though in her case he had decided to send her apology in the mail since he didn't want to put up with her elitist bullshit.

However, it was possible that he would need a little bit of help with getting access to his final target thanks to the info he had gotten from one of the few exes he had who didn't want to shoot him on sight.

Which left him with two options.

He could either wait for Stolas to come back into his surprisingly easy to break into mansion. Running the risk of having a certain suck you slut ruin his chances of making things right with the perverted Goetia.

Or, he could get down on his knees and beg Milly to let him borrow her magic using son to help him infiltrate a mansion that was filled with Blitzo hating party goers. If only because he needed someone to go toe to toe with Ver's new attack dog if things went south.

But that decision could wait since he had three more stops before he prepared for the last one.

And considering this next one involved apologizing for accidentally flooding a three-story building, thanks to the upstairs toilet not being strong enough to handle an entire day's worth of gorging on the spiciest and greasiest food known to Imp kind, he would need to be extra careful that this stop wasn't his last.

...

ANNNNND thats another chapter done.

Hope you all enjoyed this one. Was fun to write XD. Next day will see some of the aftermath of Harry's outing as a parse mouth, and the Blitzo Hate party.

Pleased to see how many people follow this story (Nearly 3600/3900 favorites and followers, over 1.6 million view) and take the time to offer insightful comments since they are excellent ways to trigger inspiration for future chapters, T.H. Tiger's comment about Harry's attitude being a notable example.

Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Please review, no flames.

Til next time.