Chapter 1:

It was dark where he was, well it wasn't really, it's just that he couldn't see. Couldn't hear either, couldn't anything really. Already passed through insanity, I think, now I'm just bored…bored bored bored bored bored…

Greetings!

Bored bored bored…

Uhh…hello?

Oh wonderful I'm hallucinating again.

I'm not a hallucination.

You aren't the first to say that.

Um well, congratulations! You-

Reincarnation? Conditions please.

Err, Gamer, open DND style, pick a number of universes, get put in one, get some powers from others, again at significant milestones. Given your current karma score you have…TWENTY FIVE!

Harry Potter, Legend of Zelda, Fairy Tail, Avatar, Devil May Cry, Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, Jujutsu Kaisen, Demon Slayer, Assassin's Creed, Skyrim, Killer Instinct, Darksiders, Mass Effect, Edens Zero, Bayonetta, Full Metal Alchemist, Borderlands, My Hero Academia, Inheritance Cycle, Ben 10, Rave Master, Pokémon and finally Record of Ragnarok.

Oh I can I start in MHA? Maybe advantage on starting powers, I'm willing to trade in Gamers' Mind and Body.

Wait what?! Huh but…how- give me a moment.

I think I broke them.

Well I just saw your records and consulted my superiors and we can grant your request, now for the powers, they will be granted by random wheel.

Fuck you.

That's normal, wheel spin! Fuck sixteen, let's see what you got. Be boop you're now a cyborg. Guess that matches the karma, you an angel. Fusion! Wishcash… Crab time Pinza Aguda. You carry the DNA of a Loboan. Back Stab, infiltrater class. Round of applause, alchemy with a clap! FUSION! Sandslash… Rock and roll the Ishi Ishi no Mi. High energy shit body heavenly restriction. Mutant type quirk Mantis. Horu Horu no Mi. Burn him! You're descended from an Umbra Witch. Don't think, obey Cursed Speech. Too much Muscle the Hundred Seals and the endless yoink Wind Snatch ether gear.

Oh my first years are gonna be pain till I figure out the hormone fruit…totally not gonna use that…recklessly.

Don't worry, we know what humans are like…anyway have fun! Stats are flat until you actually do something with your life.

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I was right, life is pain.

From the moment my misshapen little body popped out I've been hurting, being sensitive to everything is absolute ass. My parents abandoned me, why wouldn't they? I'm a deformed little mantis, angel, alien wolf hybrid whose skin burns off in sunlight. Besides I had to stay in hospital anyway. I've been here about five years now and I've only awakened a handful of my powers and of course none of them can help my situation.

"Hello?"

Who the fuck let a kid in here.

"You look sad, you wanna hold Rock Might?"

…are you kidding me, I know everyone loves the himbo but Rock Might? Serious WAIT ROCK! My Ishi Ishi is active! I make a weak gesture with my claw hand and the kid puts the pet rock on my chest, fuck that hurts, I nudge it up to my throat and activated my- whoa that feels weird. Holy shit my neck feels great! No pain!

"M-more r-r-rocks" my first words before my fiftieth coughing fit.

A gasp from the boy "Kacchan Kacchan!" He yells as he runs outside.

…well shit I stole Dekus' pet rock…

A few minutes later the mc and his rival came back in and- OW FUCK WHY THE FUCK DID THEY JUST DUMP THEM ON ME! Oh wait it's bakugo…asshole, anyway ABSORB! Oh that's awesome. I opened my eyes for the first time without tearing up from the light.

"Thank you" I rasped out looking at them.

"Tch whatever extra" bakahoe dismissed me.

"It was heroic" I offered.

"Beating up bad guys is heroic!" He yelled back at me.

"What villain did All Might beat up in his debut video?"

"He!-" Bakugo froze here, I think I give him an epiphany, Deku of course was beaming at being described as heroic.

"My name is…Reznya" I don't think I've had a name til now "who are you two?"

"The name's Bakugo Katsuki! Remember it gargoyle!" That's fair.

"Kacchan that's not nice! I'm Midoriya Izuku!"

Adorable, must protecc.

"So are you both gonna be heroes when you grow up?"

"Deku can't be a hero! He's quirkless!"

"So?" I questioned gently "two of the Wild Wild Pussycats don't have combat Quirks and the underground Hero Eraserhead's Quirk doesn't work on mutant types at all yet they still take down villains."

Deku fucking sparkled.

And that's how the doctor found us later, after the boys got me enough rocks for my whole body we got on Dekus' phone and watched clips of essentially quirkless heroes fighting, Bakugo changed his mind about it when a clip of Sir Nighteye fighting someone he couldn't touch came up. After I said bye to the boys I felt better, maybe I could get some prosthetic limbs, I doubt I'll get adopted.

Holy shit I got adopted, goddamn Mamadoriya is a saint. Literal angel saying that too! I got some robo limbs now, there's the cyborg I rolled, also devil fruits are awesome as I can stoneify my metal limbs as well. My quirk is listed as 'Gargoyle' Bakugo is endlessly smug about that.

The three of us enrolled in a martial arts dojo, it took a while to find one that would accept Deku as well we finally found a Jeet Kune Do place that accepted us, taught us other arts too. I learned boxing, wrestling and tai chi. Deku learned judo, Brazilian jiujitsu and wrestling. Kacchan, he can't stop me calling him that now, learned Wing Chun, Leithwei and Silat. He is still a touch psychotic.

I was seven when I finally got my hormone powers, fixed up my body and made myself look human…and male, fun fact I was born without either genders parts…so I boy now.

Black hair, red eyes and minor heart attack for my family when I just walked in the living room like that, of course being a Midoriya household I nearly drowned in tears afterward. Quirk registry changed to 'Genetic Modification' badass if I say so myself.

Before long, shit man time does fly, it was canon time.

"…but I know you all want to be heroes!" The (dumbass) teacher shouted out, luckily Bakugo doesn't go on his spiel this time around, the (dipshit) teacher calls out Deku wanting to go to U.A. again. Queue the taunts again.

"Alright fuck-knuckles!" I stand as they all go quiet "you dipshits are taunting about being quirkless and helpless. Where the fuck do you get off! You" I point "damn giraffe neck, what are you gonna do? Look down on the villains as they go for the giant fucking weak point?! Or stretchy eyeballs, pointless! Inflatable face? Villain will pop that like a pimple! And you just have a goddamn oar for a head! Y'all are pathetic! Deku has been working his ass off for a decade and what have your lazy asses done? Nothing!"

With that said I sat back down, needless to say they were shocked given that I pretty much kept to myself all these years.

Also needless to say that Bakugo was cackling like a madman.

I went straight home after detention to find Mamadoriya crying in worry, she told me about the sludge villain attack, that the boys were fine and that our families were having dinner tonight. Don't do it. The parents were grateful their sons were safe. Don't do it. Kacchan was looking introspective. Don't do it. Deku was looking dazed. Don't do-

"So Deku are you looking forward to getting All Mights Quirk?"

God I love being a shit stirrer sometimes.