Chapter 96 – My Hiding Sun

- 30 minutes before sunset. -

With each passing minute, the rush spread through Jace's veins. The sun was barely visible, creeping between the dense treetops. When the amber light did squeeze through the canopy of leaves and transform the surroundings into a late autumn day, he heard the ticking of the second hand incessantly and inescapably in his head. A rhythm that didn't resemble that of a long-ago dance; instead, itched in his fingers like a survival instinct, urging him to run damned faster.

Jace had to force his muscles not to step out of line. The fact was that any wrong or hasty move could mean his death, or the death of one of his group members. No matter how much his mind was seeking revenge. And so he clenched his teeth so hard that he could taste blood shortly afterwards, and let Lyall go first.

Lyall had taken on his wolf form from the moment they had left the rocky depression shortly after Alec. Equipped with a far superior sense of smell and sight, it was immediately clear that he would take the lead in navigating the unit to Valentine's camp. And he did so in an arc to avoid the heavily guarded area on the coast. On the one hand, Lyall could classify the scent of Valentine's warriors based on their freshness and thus avoid areas where guards had recently been. On the other hand, the faeries also had a more developed sense of smell and would sooner or later pick up their scent – arc or not. Then it was only a matter of time as to who could run faster.

Isabelle was also becoming increasingly unable to hide her impatience. She was a few steps ahead of Jace, following Lyall every step of the way. Only the fingers of her right hand were soundlessly tinkling on the hilt of a dagger on her weapon belt. A rhythm that was uncannily close to that of his imaginary second hand.

Progress was much quicker than under Magnus's guidance earlier, thanks to Lyall's keen senses, but a leisurely jog was still not fast enough for Jace. So as they approached Valentine's location with every breath, Jace fought against the ever-growing pressure to act on his own, a feeling in his chest that strangled him from his consciousness. His resilience melted away like snow with each passing day of spring.

It was more than just a feeling. His insides seemed to be going crazy. There was a voice in the back of Jace's head that Jace would have thought was instinct under normal circumstances. Something that called out to him, something that wanted him to stop and listen. Like the emotional transmission of the Parabatai bond between him and Alec. Or Ithuriel's consciousness, creeping into his head to share memories with him. No words, no. Emotions that sharpened his senses like a stone sharpens a knife. Emotions that made his heart beat faster. In a way that only she could.

Jace didn't notice how he turned to Adam. Adam was the only one wearing a watch. He had to know how much longer. He had to know how much longer he had to fight against this thing inside his chest.

Jace didn't notice his legs moving forward. He also saw little of his surroundings other than a faded spectrum of colors. All he could see in his mind's eye were memories that made his fingers tremble. Her voice, iron to the world and gentle to him. Her eyes, green as life. Her hair, orange-red like the setting sun. Jace's world had been shrouded in darkness as soon as his sun had disappeared.

The shock was all the more fatal when Jace suddenly spotted that very same hair a few dozen meters to the side of Adam's shoulder. Adam, who had pulled back his sleeve without a word to show him the clock face, winced as Jace tripped over his own feet and fell to the ground with the crunch of snow and dry leaves. The graceful, hardly conquerable Jace Herondale brought to his knees by nothing but an orange-red flash in his peripheral vision.

A sound, breathless and hoarse from shock, caught his throat. The next moment he was on his feet again and whirled around to face Adam once more, peering past him. Adam must have seen something in Jace's eyes, because he had already turned his back to the rest and was looking into the forest. The unit had come to a halt, but Jace was at Adam's side in a flash – not even noticing the weapon in Adam's hand. His attention was on the young woman – on her – who still stood frozen in place like the angel sculptures in Alicante.

Subconsciously, Jace was aware of her name coming from his lips; of the trembling in his fingers as their eyes met across the distance. For a heartbreaking moment, he thought he saw surprise in hers. He had already made another leap toward her when someone grabbed him from behind and pulled him back with such force that his arm nearly dislocated.

Only then did the veil of pain vanish from Jace's eyes. Only then did he realize that her irises weren't green at all, but the color of copper. A blink later, her hair turned out to be darker. Red-orange, too dark for his sun. Just right for her to come straight out of his personal hell.

The young woman's frozen expression twisted into a smug smile that intensified her sharp features. Jace had the feeling that it was fake. Too intense to be real. Too fanatical. What a fallacy, when they were on their way to the fanatics' stronghold. The rune ends on her exposed neck revealed that she was a Nephilim. If she was here, then she had to be–

A dark growl sounded behind Jace as another Shadowhunter stepped up next to the woman. Around six feet tall, with a muscular enough build to be instantly recognizable.

"Milo Coldrige," Adam blurted out before Jace could even think of the name.

"Adam Demonhunter." Jace had last spoken to Milo years ago, but he remembered his voice as less spiteful. He was a few years older than Jace and Alec and moved in different circles than they did. The fact that he moved in the Cohort's circles was news to him, however.

Forgetting the surprise of her blown cover, the red-haired Shadowhunter, who was more around Isabelle's age, marched directly toward their unit, spinning an axe in her right hand. Milo followed her without hesitation. Only after the two had started moving did more Shadowhunters and faeries emerge from the dim shadows of the forest.

Lyall's growl became more sudden. Isabelle cursed in a whisper. Adam, who seemed to know Milo better, immediately went into an attack stance in view of his broad stature. Before the two men could get too close, the female Shadowhunter halted. Milo followed her example so immediately that it was clear who was in command. His dark pupils rested not on Adam or their unit, but solely on the young warrior behind whom he positioned himself.

"I'm so glad to see you all alive," she addressed their unit, her bright eyes resting primarily on Jace. Her tone radiated dominance and combat experience, but above all a crazed relief that made Jace's fingers wander towards his seraph blade as if by themselves. When no one made a move to respond, she continued in a cheerful tone. "Did you think we would miss your scent? Too bad you can't scout the paths parallel to you with a wolf's nose, otherwise you would have noticed us for sure."

"Vanessa," Adam addressed the female Shadowhunter, who was unknown to Jace. Given the difficulty in saying the name, Jace dared to glance over at Adam. His face was filled with discomfort and annoyance, fighting for control. Did he know everyone here?

Vanessa's intense stare snapped to Adam and the axe in her hand swung faster through the air. "The traitor," she said, detached. "After everything you did to my cousin, I'm not surprised that you're here."

"Cousin?" Isabelle finally burst out, unable to control herself any longer. Maryse and Robert's punishment for their transgressions in the Circle came with the disadvantage that Isabelle, Alec and Jace had mostly only been part of the Shadowhunter community from afar. As a result, social contact with young people their age was rare.

"But yes." Vanessa gave them a humorless, forced smile, as if she really wasn't in the mood to laugh. "My cousin Blake, to whose death the good Adam inevitably contributed."

The way she hesitated imperceptibly before saying Blake's name told Jace how many emotions she had for that damned devil. All the more was his disgust heightened by having to discover in the midst of the Brocelind Forest, surrounded by enemies, that Blake Ashdown's poisoned spirit was still haunting them.

"Vanessa Ashdown," Jace pressed between clenched teeth. The heat of hatred settled over his vision like steam on a cool window, blurring clarity and rationality. "Then I hope you're looking forward to seeing your cousin again soon." Then he lunged at the Shadowhunter.

Something flashed in Vanessa's eyes, her demeanor so calm, as if she had anticipated his attack. Jace wasn't even halfway across the distance to her when she had already raised her axe. In a precise gesture, she brought it down on his blade. With a force that made Jace stagger. A fight broke out around him and he knew that victory was hopeless. They were clearly outnumbered and as unexpectedly as they had been ambushed despite their arc, they had no other ruse up their sleeve.

The consolation that Jace was able to drag one of Blake's relatives into the underworld before his presumed death vanished as soon as he crossed weapons with Vanessa Ashdown. He had thought her to be average and had sensed a quick victory in their fight. Now he had the feeling that she would disembowel him at any second if he didn't keep up with her parries.

Jace's eyes widened on their own, and the astonishment that flung him from the focus of his quest for revenge slipped through beneath his mask. A whirling turn later, Vanessa's calculating gaze met his, and although she was obviously his equal, she seemed dissatisfied. The corners of her mouth, raised in confidence a moment ago, slackened to a neutral line. Her entire expression closed off to him, as if she didn't want to reveal her thoughts to him.

Behind him, Isabelle called Jace's name. In the midst of a duel of equals, however, he found it impossible to turn his head. His heart clenched painfully as the fear boiled up inside him that these might be his sister's last words. They were outnumbered. It was only a matter of time before–

The boot in the back of his knee caught him off guard. All he could do was look up at Vanessa and wait for her to chop his head off as his legs abruptly collapsed beneath him. Instead, she leapt backwards and dodged his body as it hit the wet ground.

"I told you–" Vanessa hissed, only to cut her tirade short. Her angry glare was directed at Milo, who strutted around Jace to her side and sheathed his golden sword. "I would have defeated him alone."

"I know." Milo brushed his straight, leather-black hair from his forehead. He stood upright like a drawn bow, exuding such a natural authority that Jace was no longer sure who was really in charge here. "But we're running out of time."

Vanessa and Milo exchanged a meaningful look that Jace could not make sense of. He used their silent communication to look around. Isabelle and Adam were standing not far from him, but that was all that was positive. Two Shadowhunters tied their hands behind their backs and carelessly threw their weapons into the dirty snow. Lyall had it worse. His human form curled up in the ground, a whimper escaped his throat. Since he wasn't bleeding, Jace had to look twice before he understood: his skin was blistering, indicating burns. A faerie knight was leaning over him with a long silver whip. They must have trapped him with the silver for so long that he had voluntarily changed form.

"Get up," Milo's emotionless voice reached Jace's ear.

Strange fingers grabbed the hem of his battle gear and yanked him away from the ground. He used his slumped posture to grab a dagger. Standing on his shaky feet again, he prepared to ram it into Milo's torso. His muscles were just about to execute the movement when a rough blade was placed at his throat like an animal about to be slaughtered.

"You should have disarmed him first," Vanessa told Milo, but both her attention and her axe were focused on Jace. As she watched him with blank eyes, Milo cautiously forced his hands behind his back to tie them.

"I thought the Herondales were fair warriors," Milo replied, and the derogatory way he pronounced his family name reminded Jace of Jonathan. The Shadowhunter tied the rope so tightly around Jace's wrists that he felt as if all the blood would drain from his fingers. "Or do they pretend to have honor, just like the Inquisitor does?"

"Since when is fighting supposed to be fair?" Vanessa reached for Jace's bound hands to lead him after Milo had shoved him in her direction. She ignored him and looked after Milo, who now grabbed Isabelle's hands. "You should know that better than most."

"Damn it, what have you become, Coldridge?" The silence that followed Jace's words surprised him. Milo glanced over his shoulder at him, no trace of his previous indifference; rather confused that Jace was addressing him at all. "We were never really friends ... but this?"

Milo opened his mouth, only to close it again. His confusion confused Jace in turn. There had been times when he and Milo had spent time together. The few weeks of the year when he had been a little boy at his grandmother's in Alicante. Until he had been big enough to only stop by for short visits. He had largely lost contact with Shadowhunters like Milo, but he still remembered those times. Milo, however, looked like he had no idea what Jace was even talking about.

The fact that his former playmate had become so entangled in a destructive ideology saddened Jace. The Cohort's brainwashing had gripped him so tightly that he didn't want to remember those childhood days. It was true that they had never really been friends – at least not in the long term. But to turn against someone like that ...

Their situation was hopeless. Vanessa would do anything to hand the four of them over to Valentine. These people would do anything to be in his good graces. But Milo was different. Jace had a personal connection to Milo. Even if it was a very thin one. He had to at least try to dissuade him from this path. At least try to save his family and himself. If he could not have saved her.

"I was at your house. Your mother cooked for us. Don't you remember?" It was impossible to swallow the accusation.

"I ..." Milo avoided his demanding gaze. His formal posture faltered.

Jace felt something stirring beneath his hard surface. "What does your family think of this path you're taking?" He had to press further. "What–"

"Enough!" Vanessa, who was about the same size as Jace, kicked him in the back of the knee again. Not brutally, but powerful enough to make him stumble again. Her axe hovered dangerously close to his carotid artery. In an overly clear gesture, Vanessa placed it on his right shoulder while simultaneously hoisting him back to his feet and pushing him forward. Commands followed to the faeries, who surprisingly didn't hesitate to carry out the orders, as Jace would have expected given their lineage. "From now on, you'll slap his sister for every word Jace says. Let's see how talkative he's then."

Anger flowed through Jace like an avalanche of magma. One second he was trying to find his balance, the next the angelic power flowed through his veins like liquid lava. He tore himself out of Vanessa's clutches with such strength that she could only blindly stumble after him. As he moved, he whirled around, kicked her in the ribs and snatched the axe from her hand.

The fire of angels burned Jace with a fervor that not even hell could. He felt the superhuman focus of his gift aligning itself with Vanessa Ashdown. He felt the sweet and intoxicating power whispering to him that he could conquer anything and anyone. All day he had tried to summon the angelic power. To no avail. Now, in the face of defeat, Heaven finally allowed him a chance.

Jace heard the footsteps of his enemies surrounding him. He had never wanted to run away from them. With the strength of an angel, he held out the axe and pointed it directly at Vanessa, who was staring at him with wide eyes.

"Just come closer." He murmured the words like a prayer. With the weapon outstretched, he turned around once. When his eyes found Vanessa's, he felt his walls slipping – felt that something creeping up inside him again – whispering things to him and encouraging him to act. "Shall we go and see how Blake is doing in hell?"

Jace could feel the madness, the despair, the pain. A mix that he had managed to suppress until this moment with great difficulty. The liberating effect of angelic power in his blood was the final drop that caused this mixture to explode. A volcano that had tried for too long to withstand the pressure, now erupting like no human bomb ever could.

"You can't defeat us all, Jace," Vanessa said, a few octaves too stiff. It sounded like fear.

Deep down, he hoped he could provide Isabelle and the others with the distraction they needed to escape. That was all that mattered.

"No." The voice in Jace's throat wasn't his own. It belonged to the man who inhabited that desolate body; who had continued when she had stopped. He tilted his head and bored his burning gaze into Vanessa's face. "But that's not the goal anyway."

"This is suicide." Vanessa seemed upset and overwhelmed. She needed him alive. For some reason known only to Valentine's twisted mind, Vanessa needed him alive.

"So be it then," Jace whispered. Broken and indifferent and ready to throw himself into death if it meant finally seeing her again. Every breath on this desolate Earth had been one too many anyway. "United in death."

Isabelle screamed. Adam yelled. Milo sighed. Vanessa backed away. Jace lunged forward.

Before he could cut Vanessa in half with his axe, he heard someone creeping up behind him. Jace turned to the side and decapitated a faerie knight standing in his way as if his skin and bones were made of butter. Three more elves charged at him, and in retrospect, Jace could no longer remember how he had cut them down. Hot blood sprayed into his face, covering his hair and eyes. It took a lot of blinking to restore his clear vision. Suddenly Milo was looming over him, his golden sword at the ready.

"You're an idiot, Herondale," Milo muttered before a heavy object struck Jace on the side of his temple. Inevitable with Milo directly in its radius.

"A dramatic, arrogant idiot," was the last thing Jace heard him say before the darkness of powerlessness overcame him.

oOo

- Sunset. -

They need you alive, was the first thing that flashed through Jace's mind when he regained consciousness an incalculable amount of time later.

Too overwhelmed by the tendrils of slumber that wrapped themselves around his limbs, he could not open his eyelids. An irregular rocking was all that his bewildered senses registered. As if he were on a ship that swayed back and forth under the will of the waves.

His hearing unexpectedly kicked in. Until then, he had not even realized that he had been deafly listening to a silence. Voices and thoughts had been buzzing in his head even without the hustle and bustle of the outside world. Now he heard a murmuring torrent of voices from afar. A crunching stamping of boots on gravel. The breathing of several people around him. A heartbeat not far from his own.

It was the rising smell of water that finally made Jace step over the threshold. Gasping for air, he opened his eyes. When he saw himself on the back of a tall, sturdy person, he began to thrash like a fish out of water. Whoever was holding him, it had to be a faerie, pressed his fingers harder into his skin in response; he didn't even stop.

Jace shook the faerie's arms, tried to lean sideways on his shoulder and–

Jace froze in his tracks as his eyes found the evening sky. First casually, then wide-eyed. Far from the blocking treetops, where there was nothing but water and air. The sky bathed in an inferno of orange-red light that made the horizon flare like a goddess consumed by fire – who could scorch the earth to ash, but instead leaned toward it, caressing it with her rays of light. One last time before the darkness claimed the earth. The lake below, calm as if the water would not give in beneath you, reflected the play of orange and red as only a mirror could – reaching out to the flames of the sky as if it wanted to return the caress of the sun – as if it wanted to touch the sun as it touched the water with its warmth. But unlike the moving, beautiful light, the water would never be able to spill beyond its own surface. So close for rise and set, yet forever unattainable.

And as the sun was consumed by the depthless darkness, the left behind water could only silently watch and try to sink into the blackness just as its beloved sun had done.

Every struggle for life left Jace as he stared into the sunset. Every will. Every wall. Tears ran down his cheeks, heated by the angel's gift, dripping to the ground – to the sand, because they had reached the beach. The torment of the angels was limitless, not something that humans could endure – but he was different. He was no ordinary human, no ordinary Shadowhunter. And so he felt his own level of torture – felt what would have killed others.

Jace wished he were dead.

But when the faerie lifted him from his shoulder and roughly pushed him to the ground, that one last task forced itself back into his mind. When the tears stopped for a moment because he was threatening to choke on his own breath, his vision cleared, and he remembered.

Jace wished he were dead, but he could not go yet. He could not because he had sworn to kill Valentine Morgenstern before he fell.

A moment that was within reach, because the faerie had lowered Jace not twenty meters from the shore. Twenty meters. After months of back and forth, it should have been her, not him, standing here.

Twenty meters away from him, standing in inches of water with his finely crafted boots, was Valentine Morgenstern, and Jace would finish what she had been denied.

The next chapters are going to be really cool, I'm really excited! Although I hope you liked the last few chapters too! :) There's not much else to say. If you want to know how I imagine the characters, take a look at my Pinterest. My name there is ccskyllen. Vanessa and Milo are now available there too! :)

Skyllen