Dear diary, I want to introduce myself as SpongeBob SquarePants. Why would my diary know who I am without a little introduction? I'm a yellow sea sponge and I have a pink starfish friend named Patrick, and my next door neighbor is named Squidward. I have a pet named Gary, and my parents are named Margaret and Harold.
Dear diary, I know everything is going to be okay because life is perfect in the perfect city of Bikini Bottom.
Usually.
It's not my mission to make the city of Bikini Bottom the best, but once I've gotten this new job, my life has been the best since I remember my childhood. And my next entry dear diary, will be about that.