A/N: I have another chapter ready to go after this one. It'll be out in a week. Thanks for reading!

Also, I've decided I need to settle with a spelling for Ramzez/zeez. It is Ramzeez! The double ee looks more beelike. Anyway Ramzez looks like Ram-zehz.

Apologies for silly errors like that. I've noticed that I don't make him say "buzz" or "bzzz" as much anymore either, and it's probably because I wish I hadn't given him such a weird accent in the first place, haha! One Piece, man. What do yall think? should I go back and tone down his accent? Do we like him as is?

Ch. 51 - SQ2.0

"Pregnant?" Helena heard Zoro exclaim. "Man that was quick!"

"No, you doof! I was already pregnant when I arrived on the Sunny!"

Zoro blinked at her. She could see him in her face, but it was hard to describe. He just…held her face muscles differently than she did. He seemed to struggle to catch his breath. Going from his impeccably fit form to her out of shape, post coma, pregnant body had to hurt. He'd doubled over, hands clutching knees as he tried to breathe.

"Wait, how far along are you? Are we? Am…I?" he stammered. "It'd have to be, what, four…four and a half months?"

"Yup!"

Zoro dissolved into tears. Helena knew her body couldn't be comfortable for him at present, but this reaction seemed a bit much. Zoro apparently agreed.

"W-why am I c-crying?" he demanded through the torrent. He straightened up, crossed his arms, and tried to still a trembling lip, to force a stoic expression. But the tears kept spilling down his cheeks. "What's going on? Why can't I stop?"

"Would it help to tell you we're having a boy?" Helena absolutely knew this bit of information would not help.

"Are you serious? We're having another son…?" The tears definitely shot out of him harder. "I get to be there for the birth too, eh?"

"You'll be there for it all right," Helena mused. "Front and center if we don't get this sorted out."

Zoro's eyes widened in horror. Helena grinned. His teeth felt weird in her mouth. They didn't have as much dimension. Zoro had worn them down.

"I think what you're dealing with are the pregnancy hormones, Beloved," she went on with a little more sympathy. "I'm used to them, so I can generally keep my emotions in check, but you just kinda got thrown into them all at once."

"This is what you feel like all the time?" he sputtered, the tears still not slowing despite his attempts to will them away.

"I…guess?" Helena shrugged. "I didn't really notice them, but I do notice being free of them now. Gods, you must feel awful. Though as I recall, you did cry when you first met Kuina."

"Manly tears," Zoro shot at her, glancing at Luffy.

The captain was hardly listening. He had burst into laughter long ago, his own tears of merriment streaming from his eyes. "Traffy swapped you guys? That's hilarious! Zoro's gonna be a Mom! HAHAHAHA!"

"Yuffy, put down," Kuina demanded. "Mama need hug."

Luffy loosened his grip so Kuina could wriggle free. She toddled over to who she thought was her mother and reached out expectantly.

"Can I pick her up?" Zoro asked Helena.

"Yes!" Helena replied cheerily. "Chopper cleared me for lifting."

"Not what I meant. Your arms feel super weak."

"HEY!" Helena chuffed. Then she saw the smirk. He was teasing. "Jerk." He handed her Wado Ichimonji so she could sheath it, then he grabbed Kuina and picked her up.

"Mama ok?" she asked, patting Zoro's wet cheeks. "Why you talk yike papa?"

"Uh…" Zoro glanced at Helena. "How do we explain this to her?"

"No idea."

Luffy decided to interject. "Zoro's your Mom now! And Helena's your Dad! Ah HAHAHAHAHAH!"

"Uh, yeah. I guess that's one way to put it," Zoro said.

"Kuina-Bee, are you ok?" Helena asked.

The toddler stared between them, eyes wide, her brow furrowed in confusion. Then she burst into loud tears.

"We gotta get him to change us back," Zoro managed over her wailing, tears still streaming down his own cheeks. He and Kuina made a fine pair of fountains.

Helena sighed. It felt nice to be out of her own sickened body for a while. Oh sure, she'd thought her recovery had gone well; compared to how she had been prior to her coma, she'd felt great. But being Zoro felt infinitely healthier, or at the very least, not pregnant. Still, nice as it was to be pain free, and as curious as she was about how Zoro might handle pregnancy, it wasn't worth traumatizing Kuina over.

"Whatever you do, you'd better hurry," Luffy squealed, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Cause Traffy's getting away!"

Nope. Nope. Nope!

Law didn't care what stupid Calypso Blue had said. The warlord did not have the least desire to deal with the Straw Hat pirates today. He was better off leaving Ryubokuu. If anyone asked, he could say he'd done enough to slow Helena down by swapping her with Roronoa.

He quickly teleported aboard his vessel at the docks. His crew still had the Polar Tang so he had to make do with the electric powered sailboat Ceasar had given him. – only the electric power was useless without ridiculous amounts of energy to charge its one of a kind battery, which was why he'd been stuck in Ryubokuu for so long. Thankfully with the wind aiding him, Law managed to escape the port without too much trouble.

He checked his log pose. It wouldn't point him to Punk Hazard, but it would point him to the nearby island of Dealanach, where he should be able to properly charge the stupid boat's finicky battery. With the battery charged, its automatic navigation system should kick in, taking him easily back to Punk Hazard.

Ryubokuu didn't have a magnetic field, and Law still had all his previous logs stored. He'd stopped at Dealanach before, on his way to the great tree, so it shouldn't be a problem finding his way.

Provided the Straw Hats didn't catch up with him first.

Through Luffy's peals of laughter, Helena and Zoro managed to convince the crew to hurry back to the Thousand Sunny. However, the crew found their eager rush to leave the party impaired by Mayor Induztry, who barred the exit with his arms thrown open wide.

"Wait, friendz! Where are you going?" he asked with wouldbe composure. "Are you really zo eager to leave now that the calm haz lifted? Ztay to finish the party at leazt!"

"It's an emergency," the cook Sanji snarled. He went on under his breath, "Zoro in Helena's body is totally and completely and utterly and wholly, one-thousand percent unacceptable…"

"But at leazt let us toazt the Hero of Ryubokuu one final time!"

Said Hero of Ryubokuu seemed disappointed to miss said toast, but the one the mayor had hitherto known as Zoro nudged her along. "Sorry. No booze for you. You're pregnant, remember?"

"Aw, come on…" Why did Helena's voice sound so deep? "Just one saki?"

"No!"

"Killjoy…"

"Zoro, pregnant women really can't have alcohol," the reindeer doctor put in with a sigh. "It's bad for the baby."

"Is that why I haven't had to keep you away from any booze lately? And here I was thinking she'd finally realized she couldn't handle her liquor…."

The mayor watched in confusion as the larger, male swordsman seemed to grab the hero of Ryubokuu by the arm and pull her along far more roughly than he'd ever treated her before.

"Have you heard of Lamaze breathing?" 'he' asked. "Because if we don't catch that guy, you're in for a crash course!"

"Ow! Helena, you're stronger than you're used to! Be a little nicer to yourself, eh? You're going to pull your arm out of its socket!"

"Wait, but the defenze zyztem you built! We haven't had a chanze to tezt it yet!" Mayor Induztry pleaded with the next two Straw Hats who passed. These were the two he knew the best, and he hoped would be more inclined to listen to him.

"It's ready, don't worry!" Franky reassured the man, patting him on the shoulder as he walked by.

"Yeah, we worked out all the bugs! No pun intended!" Usopp said, giving him a thumbs up.

The mayor turned to Nico Robin; the one who had worked with his oldest daughter in the library. "Pleaze…" he pleaded, catching her by the wrist. "Pleaze, you have to ztay or…"

"Or what?" she asked, not unkindly as the rest filed past her. "Mr. Mayor, is something wrong?"

He didn't say anything, just looked up at her with terror in his eyes. Another voice called, drawing her attention.

"Mz. Robin, wait!"

They turned to see Ramzeez dashing toward them. He hadn't been at the party earlier, Induztry remembered. Now he dismounted Sphinkz near the entrance of the statue garden, and passed the other Straw Hats as they made their way out.

"You aren't all leaving already, are you?" He asked, noting the other pirates hurrying away. "I didn't realize the party waz already over."

"It'z not! You muzt convinze them to ztay!" Induztry pleaded. Surely Ramzeez would listen to him!

"Something has come up," Robin insisted. "It's pretty urgent we go now."

"Then let me and my riderz tranzport you to your zhip, bzz bzz," Ramzeez insisted. "It'll be fazter than the tram or waiting for a palanquin."

Robin nodded, and Ramzeez blew into a whistle hanging about his throat. It made no sound aside from a gentle buzzing, but soon his riderz had assembled with their bees, offering the Straw Hats to ride beeback. The mayor pleaded with them all to stop, but no one was listening.

Too soon they disappeared and the mayor burst into tears.

Robin apprised Ramzeez of the situation along the way. She had to speak loudly to be heard over the buzzing of the bees. The man took the information with impressive calm.

When he and the other bee riderz alighted aboard the Sunny, dropping off their passengers, he quickly gathered his riders for a word. Soon he had turned to the crew.

"Zome of my men zaw Trafalgar leave in the direction of Dealanach. Fortunately we have zomeone from that island who knowz the way."

He gestured to Wallaz, who grinned broadly. "Ay, tiz mah homeland," the be-kilted man buzzed.

"Wait, you're not from Ryubokuu?" Robin asked, intrigued. "But you buzz like the rest of them."

"Everyone ztartz to buzz if they ztay here long enough," Ramzeez pointed out with a bright grin. "Even you have ztarted to buzz your ezzez a bit, Mz. Robin."

"tSurely not," Robin exclaimed, and then she noticed it. Her S was still an S but had just a hint of Z to it. Her eyes widened and Ramzeez chuckled.

"Ryubokuu iz an island of caztawayz," he went on. "We collect both people and zhipz from the zea. You recall I told you my grandparentz were from Alabazta," Ramzeez went on.

Robin nodded. He had informed her as much on their date. It explained his bee-ified Alabastan name.

"We don't have time to chit chat," Nami cut in. "Not if we don't want to sign Zoro up for a birthing class."

The crew had already scurried into action. They'd raised the gang plank and set the sails, but were running into a major issue trying to leave port.

"The anchor is stuck!" Usopp called from the helm.

"It's not stuck, we're out of cola," Franky replied. Unfortunately while Ryubokuu had enough small quantities of fizzy soda to keep the cyborn functioning, they hadn't had any large barrels delivered or wash up in a while. "None of the mechanized systems are going to work until we get a refill."

Nami sighed. "Guess we're going to have to do it manually. Get on it, Zoro!" she called.

Zoro and Helena both stepped toward the giant ring on the back of Sunny's figurehead and made to grab it. They looked at each other, momentarily confused, but it was Helena who started to roll up her sleeves.

"I think she means me," she put in,

Zoro raised a brow at her.

"You know, cause I'm so manly," she went on, flexing an arm.

"Ugh!" Zoro chuffed.

"And strong," she kissed a bicep.

"Staaahp," Zoro groaned while the crew laughed.

Helena braced herself more than she probably needed to, grabbed the great ring and yanked. The two enormous paw-shaped anchors flew upward. She only just checked her momentum in time to stop them from colliding with the ship.

"I could get used to this!" she shouted to Zoro over the anchors locking into place.

"If you'd just train these wimpy arms more, you'd be able to do it in your own body," he rebutted, but he was smirking a bit. Yes, he was probably enjoying how impressed Helena was with his physique.

"I could TOTALLY do this in my own body!" Helena shot back, setting the ring back into its hook. "Just…not that fast."

"Yeah, sure. I think I'll do some pushups or something. These arms are complete noodles."

"No pushups!" Chopper cried frantically, "That'll strain her abdominal muscles."

"Can't she do ANYTHING right now?"

Helena smirked at him. "Yoga maybe," she suggested. "Actually, you could do to loosen up a bit yourself," she pointed out, stretching an arm across her body to work out the strain after lifting. "You'd have more range of motion if you'd…"

She stopped short. "What the…?"

She and Zoro both scrambled for swords at their respective hips. The former being right-handed reached for the wrong side at first, meanwhile the latter had no swords to grab on to, whatever side he went for.

They weren't the only members of the crew who jumped into defensive stances. Everyone gave a sudden shout of alarm when two enormous, bluish insectoid scythes gripped over the railing on the bow.

"Wait, is that…?" Zoro started, narrowing his eyes.

"The Shipyard Queen!" Helena gasped, single eye blown wide.

There wasn't any more time to think. The enormous bug had just pulled herself into full view. It saw the two swordsmen near the bow and lunged.

The Shipyard Queen looked different to what Helena remembered. Parts of her had been completely replaced with metal. It was hard to say how much of her original body remained, what with additional firepower and gadgets attached to her. Helena didn't get a full view before she had to draw and defend herself and the ship.

The time she had spent fumbling for a katana meant she hadn't a moment to throw Zoro one. She had drawn Wado Ichimoji just in time to block the Shipyard Queen's scythe. Zoro let out a yell, but didn't sound like he was in pain. Helena glanced his way to see he had blocked the attack with her bare arms.

"How are you doing that?" she yelled at him in surprise. Her body hadn't been sturdy enough to block those scythes before. They'd left a nasty gash and cracked her shin. Hardly fazed, Zoro smirked at her. Then she saw it.

He'd managed to coat her forearms in black.

"Haki, Helena. You should really try it sometime."

He just had to rub it in.

"Gomu gomu no, Jet…" Luffy started from behind them.

"Luffy, wait!" Usopp cried, but it was too late. The captain had already released:

"Pistol!"

With the two swordsmen blocking the insect's scythes, the captain had a clear shot of its thorax. The hole Helena had left there a month ago had been replaced by an aesthetic swirl of machinery. At its center…Helena couldn't be sure she trusted Zoro's one-eyed view, but she thought she saw some kind of seashell.

Luffy may not have been aiming to hit that exact spot. It puffed out its chest as though wanting to receive Luffy's attack and then…

Nothing happened. The creature wasn't blasted back or even injured. It chittered at them menacingly.

"Impact dial," Usopp informed him. "This was the defense system Franky and I built for the Ryubokuuans. The SQ2.0. It's meant to counter pirates…like us."

A swear slipped between Zoro's teeth. Undaunted, Luffy wound up again for another strike.

"Wait, Luffy…!" Zoro cried, but it was too late. Luffy had just let loose a jet gatling on the creature. It moved to capture and absorb almost every fist strike. What it didn't absorb, it dodged. What it didn't dodge left minimal damage on its wapol metal hide.

By now it had disengaged with the two swordsmen and turned its attention on the captain. It body slammed the rubber man, releasing the impact it had stored from Luffy's attacks. Before anyone had time to think, it had shot the devil fruit user into the water.

Out of habit Zoro made to dive in after the captain. Helena immediately reached out to stop him. "You can't dive from this height while pregnant," she warned him.

Zoro let out an exasperated chuff, and Helena smirked. He was getting a true taste of the sidelines, and he clearly didn't like it. Helena made to dive in his place, but the shipyard queen moved too quickly to block her way. It was definitely faster than she remembered. Thankfully she caught sight of some of the bee riderz moving to Luffy's rescue.

"Why is this thing attacking us?" Zoro growled as Helena blocked the Shipyard Queen's stinger for both of them with wado ichimonji.

"Not sure. It's supposed to be manually activated. But when it is, it's set to attack any ship flying a Jolly Roger," Franky called. "Both of you, get back!"

At that exact moment the stinger transformed, it's sharp side opening with a soft whirring sound to reveal another seashell.

"That's a breath dial," Zoro observed. "Helena, back up!" He grabbed her and shoved her aside just as the stinger shot out a blue, sparkling cloud. Helena recognized the scent from a few feet away. That was nebulized Juliet nectar.

Franky wound up and shot a strong right at the insect cyborg, knocking it away from Zoro, who had just gotten a face full of vapor.

Chopper started shouting in a panicked voice, running to get close to Zoro only to have Franky impede him before he could run into the lingering cloud. "You wanna get knocked out too?"

"Helena can't inhale that stuff again! It could kill the baby!"

"What?!" Helena cried, trying to see Zoro through the hazy blue cloud. He'd fallen face down. That didn't bode well. "That idiot! He needs to protect himself, not me! The baby is more important!"

"I got this!" Franky called. He turned his backside toward the cloud. "Coup de boo!"

Helena could not be held responsible for the expression creasing her face at the moment. She had never before seen Franky, or anyone for that matter, fight with a fart.

It did what he intended, blowing the cloud of smoke away and leaving a cola scented one behind. Chopper made again to run toward Zoro, only to find his way impeded by a large scythe puncturing the deck between him and his goal.

To everyone's relief, Zoro's baritone cut through the Queen's buzzing. "Really, Franky?" he called, coughing a bit. He had just released after holding his breath, and taken in a double lung full of cola fart air.

"Zoro, you gotta get out of there," Chopper cried, quickly transforming into kung fu point and leveling a kick on the now stuck scythe before SQ2.0 could retract it. "You shouldn't be fighting with the pregnancy."

"Can't exactly help it, Chopper!" Zoro called back, still coughing a bit as he sat upright. "Helena, toss me a sword so I can fight through this thing."

Helena grabbed Sandai Kitetsu and froze. She didn't dare give Zoro that sword while he was in her body, and she didn't dare use it while in his either. It had already taken her life once, it didn't seem like a good idea to tempt or confuse it.

"Give me Wado Ichimonji!" He prompted, noting her hesitation. "These noodle arms aren't strong enough for Shusui."

Helena raised an eyebrow at him, unamused.

"These…lovely, feminine arms that are stronger than the average woman's," Zoro attempted while Usopp waved a hand across his throat to warn him to stop talking. Undeterred, Zoro plowed forward to his own demise: "...but still not as strong as mine."

Helena blinked at him, unimpressed, and let her arms fall away from the blades at her side. She caught sight of Usopp facepalming out of the corner of her eye.

The SQ2.0 had been mostly swiping one-armed at Chopper this whole time, but now she managed to free her second scythe from the deck. Franky went to help, and though the cybernetic insect had its attention focused on him and Chopper, its stinger swiped dangerously close to Zoro's prone form as it hovered and fought a few feet above him

"Aw, come on," he pleaded, rolling aside just in time to avoid getting sliced through by the once again sharp stinger as it passed. "Helena…!"

Franky and Chopper both cried out. Using her scythes to shuffle them together, SQ2.0 had chest bumped into both its combatants at once, sending them flying overboard like Luffy. More bee riders swarmed to their rescue as she turned her attention to Zoro. He had just managed to get fully upright and lifted Helena's fists defensively.

"My arms may be noodles, but my legs sure aren't," Helena called to him. It had been alarming, watching the others go flying like that. But she still didn't mind seeing Zoro squirm a bit after all the ribbing. "Try a kicking stance!"

"Or you could, you know, throw me a sword!" he chuffed, dodging to one side and then the other to avoid the scythes now threatening to dismember him. "This is your body, remember. I'm guessing you want it back in one piece."

"Oh, I trust you'll take care of me and the baby just fine," Helena replied, inspecting her nails. Zeus, Zoro needed to drink more water or something. His nails were brittle. Maybe he was dehydrated from all the alcohol. "After all, you're a master."

"Not while I'm trapped in YOUR body," Zoro harumped.

"I beat the shipyard queen without any swords while you took a nap, dear," she reminded him, completely unsympathetic. "I guess you'll just have to manage."

Zoro received a reprieve when several of Usopp's pop stars engulfed SQ2.0, momentarily entangling her in a web of vines.

"Yes!" Usopp fist pumped. "That's not going to hold her for long though, Zoro! She's got a flame dial! Get out of there before she…!"

Zoro had already started to back away, but he wasn't moving very quickly. Helena recognized the fatigue setting in. After all, before this they'd been walking around all day, and she'd only just recovered from her coma. He was probably feeling queasy too.

The flame dial Usopp referenced must have been stored in her mandibles. SQ2.0 opened her mouth and let out a burst of fire that immediately engulfed the vines traping her. Zoro only just jumped away in time.

"Oh my! The ship could catch fire!" Brook pointed out. "Looks like she isn't though, given her bones are on the outside."

The exoskeleton indeed seemed flame resistant. SQ2.0 shook off the charred vines, throwing dangerous little fireballs onto the deck.

"On it!" Nami cried, shooting rainclouds from her climatakt. They floated over the affected area, momentarily catching SQ2.0's attention. The downpour to follow didn't seem to bother the insect much. Zoro, however, stood closest to it and its fires, and didn't appreciate getting soaked.

Somehow he had ended up with the thing between him and the rest of the crew, though he was no longer trapped beneath it. Wet, tired, and miserable; maybe he had suffered enough.

Nami's rain clouds had confused SQ2.0, turning her around so that she no longer faced the crew and the main deck. She fixed her cybernetic sights on Zoro. Before she could land a hit, Helena slid in beside him, Shusui drawn just enough from its sheath to parry. With her other arm, she proffered him Wado Ichimonji.

Zoro let out a chuff, and didn't grab the sword. "Hey, are you calling me weaker than you?"

Helena glanced at him, brow furrowed. "Huh?"

"You said you beat her alone, without a sword. I can too!"

"I was kidding," Helena retorted. "I mean, yes, I did beat her alone and without a sword. But she's had a few upgrades since then."

As if to punctuate her point, the Queen tried to get at the both of them with the breath dial stored in her stinger again. They leapt in different directions to avoid the blue cloud.

"Don't put the baby in danger for your pride, you idiot," Helena called out to him.

"You didn't seem too worried about that a second ago," Zoro pointed out. "Anyway, I can just do what you did. Doesn't seem so hard."

He lifted Helena's shirt enough to show her midriff. With hardly a thought, he'd coated her stomach in haki again. Helena bit back an angry retort. How could he do it so easily?

"Now what was it you said I should try? A kicking stance?"

SQ2.0 turned to swipe at him with her pincers. He kicked straight up to block it as though his haki coated leg were a sword in and of itself.

"Not gonna lie, it's cool to be able to kick this high," he said. He parried her scythes a few more times in succession, then managed to kick one hard enough to crack it. SQ2.0 recoiled, inspecting the damaged scythe in shock.

Zoro jabbed the air a few times with a leg, checking his own range, all the while sizing up his opponent out of the corner of his eye. They launched at each other again, exchanging blows. The queen's second scythe was made of metal, and soon Zoro managed to leave a sizeable dent in it with another well placed, haki coated kick. Then he attempted to grapple her, but those weak noodle arms he kept griping about couldn't keep her down.

"Are you forgetting that all this ended up putting me in a coma?" Helena snapped.

"Yeah. I'm not you," Zoro had the gall to point out, though he'd started shaking with all the exertion.

Helena scowled. That was an especially low jab. Zoro had never been one to dance around her feelings, and he had a clear point. Skill and strength aside, down to his essence Zoro had more grit than she did, and they both knew it.

"So you stole her stinger, right?" Zoro called out, completely oblivious to the downturn in his wife's countenance. "Just gotta time it right…"

Before he could try to time anything right, Helena drew Shusui, throwing a slash so hard that the galleon rocked backwards with the recoil. Her attack made contact with the mechanical beast, separating its abdomen from its thorax. The diagonal slash carried on in a wide arc, traveling far out of eyesight.

Helena knew how powerful Zoro was, but it still caught her by surprise, experiencing it first hand. Without thinking she had cleanly cut through some of the railing and taken off one of the figurehead's mane spikes. Shocked, she barely managed to ground her stance as the ship continued to pitch violently.

As both she and the Sunny stabilized, Helena caught sight of Zoro glaring at her. He was probably mad she took his kill. She sheathed the enormous blade with a satisfying clack.

"Oh, sorry. I thought we were proving just how big and tough you were," Helena informed him blithely.

"You have no idea how far that slash is going to go, do you?" Zoro replied, his voice calm, but under the calm she could tell he was angry. "Or who it might hit."

Helena's gut churned. What if she hurt more innocent people? She hadn't meant to throw a slash that hard. She'd never experienced such raw power!

"If you're lucky, it'll lose momentum before it reaches an island or something," he went on, gazing out at sea toward where the slash had gone. "Wow, Helena," he didn't sound impressed, "I thought you were the responsible one."

Their attention snapped back to the Shipyard Queen, who let out an angry chitter, but gathered up its abdomen in its pincers and flew off. Apparently being a mechanical freak of nature meant a mortal blow like that wouldn't end it. The two swordsman turned a quizzical look on Usopp.

"It's going to repair itself," he told them. "Clean cut like that, it'll probably be back in ten minutes tops. We need to get out of Ryubokuu's waters before it does."