Some short stories related to the new DLC. I'm not far into the Labyrinth of Doom but I have encountered some spoilers before I got around to getting the season pass. To be honest, it's almost like the Forest of Pain post-game quest from .hack but you're limited to six people instead of like 30.
Pairings in this chapter: future!Evan/Tani, Roland/Khunbish, one-sided Sir Cumbish/Roland
This chapter contains: Spoilers for the Lair of the Lost Lord DLC, Zalgo font, semi-accurate novelization, and implied sexual innuendo. Read on at your own risk.
Stick to the Script and Other Stories
By Bilbo-sama
Tales From the Labyrinth
1.
A young woman entered the glen deep in Wistwillow Woods. She nervously smoothed her green dress and brushed a lock of red hair away from her face.
She had visited this place a couple of times in the past ten years. She would've came more often but the world had a strange tendency to unleash foes that threatened it with destruction.
Today, Tani found the opportunity.
"Hey, mum," she said as she stood in the middle of the clearing, "sorry for not visiting in a while. Things got really hectic."
There was no answer. She knew this but continued to speak out loud.
"Guess what, mum," she added as she smiled, "I'm getting married!"
She imagined a woman smiling as she received the news. Her mother...would have hugged her, yes? That's what Bracken and Gerel did when she told them.
"Evan still messed up while proposing for real. He was so nervous!" Tani giggled as she recalled her fiance stammering as his blonde hair fluffed up like how grimalkin fur does when afraid or startled. It just looked so silly on him. She had suppressed the urge to laugh as Evan powered through.
"But I still accepted his ring. Why wouldn't I when he's my greatest friend in the world?" She couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Even if she knew what burden she had hefted onto her own shoulders by agreeing to become his queen.
"It's funny, mum, I never met you in life a-and yet I..." she paused to brush the back of her hand against her face. It came away wet with tears.
"I wish you were there to see it." It's going to be the most ridiculously grand spectacle since the wedding of Queen Nerea and Consort Leander. The Sky Pirates are losing their minds over what they should do for the wedding. There was talks of plane formations and chants. Of throwing a smaller 'practice run' wedding in the village to 'officially count the lad as one of our own.' Batu hasn't stopped randomly crying for days.
"But...in a way," Tani said as she stopped trying to hold back her tears, "you would be there. You're watching me right now from wherever you are, aren't you?"
There was a breeze that rustled the leaves in the trees around her. She took that as a yes.
"Thanks, mum." Tani waited until she ran out of tears before leaving her mother's grave.
2.
A masked figure calmly passed by the creatures lurking in the labyrinth. He suppressed a snort. He hadn't seen this variety of Skeleplasm for millennia and yet they are still no match for his power.
Doloran was in the middle of preparations to at last release the Horned One from its prison when he was alerted to the emergence of the Labyrinth in the ruins of Ebbswane. He dismissed it at first. It was close to Evermore after all. Let the boy deal with it.
But then he sensed a great power lurking in the Labyrinth and he got curious. Ebbswane crumbled into itself overnight and he had nothing to do with it. If its Kingmaker had decided to emerge and wreck havoc on the world, then it must be dealt with before he restored Allegoria and his beloved Alisandra. If possible, he could add what's left of King Remnus' Kingsbond to the collection.
And so he entered the Labyrinth disguised as the Mandarin. Evermore's camp in the labyrinth's entrance hall allowed him to pass unimpeded. Not everyone was aware of the truth behind the Mandarin's identity and there were very few Dogfolk present. It was amusing how these fools allowed their king's rival inside.
He breezed through the Labyrinth, scoffing at its attempts to disorient him with unstable layouts and fog.
However, when he reached the 80th floor, the monsters seemed to notice him more. Some even tried to attack him. How tedious.
Eventually his reserves for magic dwindled and he had to stop and rest. He was unsure where the portal to the next floor was and the Horned One was more interested by something above him.
Its warning of H́͢E̴҉́'͏͟͜S̸͢ ̸͢͠N̷̨̢͡҉Ę̴̧̛A̢̨͢͡Ŕ̡̢͡ came before the bond with his soul mate alerted him of Roland's proximity. Doloran wasn't surprised he'd be here. Wherever the boy goes, Roland will follow.
His magic reserves had been fully restored by the time King Evan came across him. He, Roland, and the two pirates eyed him with suspicion to the surprise of the Archon and the mechanic.
Perhaps he should distract them before they sound the alarm. He then recalled what the braver citizens of Evermore were doing in the floors above. He'll look into these orbs later.
"If you give me thirty three orbs," began Doloran as he turned to look at Roland, "I will grant you the powers of darkness."
It was best to make him aware of his full potential now before the Horned One is freed so he can enjoy the benefits of additional power given by the Kingmaker they share. So he can have a better grasp on what he can do. Honestly, the fool is letting it all go to waste by using a fraction of what he can do.
Roland, however, raised an eyebrow before shaking his head.
"No thanks," he said, "I'm good."
Doloran seethed in frustration but made sure to look unmoved by the answer.
"Ah," he replied while in character, "then may your travels go swiftly."
Roland blinked as their link thrummed while he unconsciously recognized the Allegorian blessing, "Thanks."
He then added while trapped in the dance of polite conversation, "Er...you too."
Doloran watched as the halfling's Kingmaker slapped itself in the face in exasperation as Roland unknowingly granted his enemy (his other self) safe travel out of the labyrinth.
3.
Sir Cumbish was glad he found the foolish pirate first before the others were aware of his presence. Some would have forced their way into control, potentially damaging their host.
No, it was best that he bring him out of there.
But he had to admit, he was curious. What was the world like after two millennia have passed? Which nations have crumbled and which nations have stood defiant against time?
As Cumbish slowly settled into his temporary body, he examined his host's memories. Khunbish spent the first two decades of his life dedicated to thievery and harsh desert life. It was only recently when a young boy with unusual features (He's half grimalkin, some part of Khunbish's mind supplied obliviously. The boy's father came from a race of catlike beings who settled in the summerlands beyond the Canyon and mountains.) stubbornly wormed into his tribe's hearts and declared his intentions of unifying the world. Khunbish had thought it would be impossible but somehow, his new lord has been proving him wrong.
The host of his new body at last went dormant by the time he crossed the gates into Evermore. This kingdom...so young and yet so alive! The sounds! The smells! The sights! Oh, how he had missed having a body!
He wished to have a proper scrap with someone. The King of Evermore is a child. Too young to be used to test Cumbish's strength. There had to be somebody here who was filling to fight...
Cumbish spotted a large pirate with a black beard. Chingis his host's memories supplied. Blood brother. Friend.
Excellent. Then he wouldn't mind a punch or two...
"Ah, there ye are," said Chingis, "where did ye run off to?"
"I wish to fight!" announced Cumbish.
"Aye?" Chingis grinned.
"I feel this body's strength keenly! I seek a worthy fighter to test myself." His shouting attracted curious stares from bystanders around them.
"Is that so?" Chingis egged on.
"Oh yes, I seek a worthy fight to the death. A glorious battle for the ages!"
"Ye what now?!"
The bystanders mutter among themselves. Some sounded concerned. Some were considering taking up the challenge.
"What's going on here?" The crowd parted to allow a young boy with grimalkin ears to pass through. The King has arrived.
"Evan, lad!" began Chingis, "Call a healer! Ol' Khunbish has taken a turn!"
"Why won't you grant me my wish?" demanded Cumbish as frustration welled up inside him. He wanted to experience everything, including pain. But no one is helping him! "How many times must I ask?"
King Evan stared at Cumbish in confusion before turning to Chingis, "Why is he speaking like that? What wish is he talking about?"
"All I desire is to be permitted to pit myself against this man in a fight to the death!" explained Cumbish, noting how alarmed the boy became. "Is that really too much to ask?"
"See? He needs a healer!"
"A-alright!" flailed Evan before he composed himself. "Why don't we all calm down! We'll start by going somewhere quieter. You've already caused quite a stir!"
The King lead Cumbish and Chingis into the castle throne room where a larger man (Chief Batu. The Boss.) entered followed by a young girl (Boss's daughter. Tani.). Cumbish noted his bulging muscles and grinned. Oh yes, he'd do nicely.
"Alright," began Batu as he eyed Cumbish with exasperation, "what's this all about, ye mangy cur? I could hear the kerfluffle ye caused across the city!"
Cumbish pointed at Batu, grinning maniacally, "Behold! A truly mighty opponent presents himself! Come! Do me the honor of facing me in battle!"
Batu stared at him, "What the? What are ye yammerin' on about?"
Chingis shrugged, "He's been like this for an hour, boss! What should we do with him?"
Batu scratched his chin in thought before smiling, "Well now, a fight is what ye want? I know just the thing."
Before Cumbish could answer, a fist collided with his face and as he stood there, stunned, Batu slammed his fist against the top of his head.
All went black.
And then Cumbish found himself outside of his host's body which stirred as its original owner woke up and lied about how far he went into the labyrinth. Clarity returned to Cumbish.
The Labyrinth! The rift! The Prince of Wraiths! He forgot! He must warn the little king of what is to come!
He dove back into Khunbish (who was making promises he'd never keep for long) with warnings at the forefront of his thoughts.
"Don't listen to him!" announced Cumbish, "He is a bare-faced liar!"
"There he goes again, speakin' with a blessed plum in his mouth," grumbled Chingis.
"This mendacious wretch spent far more mere moments beyond the entrance," explained Cumbish, "he ventured into the depths of the labyrinth where I found him and possessed him."
"What labyrinth?" asked the child king. "Who are you and why are you possessing Khunbish?"
"The labyrinth I speak of is an ancient series of tunnels beneath the Rubbly Ruins. I am one of the warriors who rests there, Sir Cumbish."
"Wait, 'Cumbish?' That's pretty similar to Khunbish," Tani pointed out.
Cumbish shrugged before he looked out to the doorway that lead to the balcony looking out over the city. He then made his decision.
"I intend to make use of this man's body for he is young and strong. It's been two millennia since I had a body and I must go to Lord Remnus' aid against the Prince of Wraiths!"
...The denizens of Evermore truly don't know what's in the ruins close their lands. It's up to him to protect them all, even if he has to borrow this body.
But still...it's fair to give them a warning so they can shore up their defenses if he falls once more.
"Oi," barked Chingis, "Ye think we'll sit here twiddlin' our thumbs?"
"It sounds like you need all the help you can get!" added Tani.
"Please," said a now determined King Evan, "Let us help you. You deserve to rest peacefully."
These people...they're not going to back down, aren't they?
"Alright," sighed Sir Cumbish, "listen up! I will only say this once..."
4.
Sir Cumbish was glad he found the foolish pirate first before the others were aware of his presence. Some would have forced their way into control, potentially damaging their host.
No, it was best that he bring him out of there.
But he had to admit, he was curious. What was the world like after two millennia have passed? Which nations have crumbled and which nations have stood defiant against time?
As Cumbish slowly settled into his temporary body, he examined his host's memories. Khunbish spent the first two decades of his life dedicated to thievery and harsh desert life. It was only recently when a young boy with unusual features (He's half grimalkin, some part of Khunbish's mind supplied obliviously. The boy's father came from a race of catlike beings who settled in the summerlands beyond the Canyon and mountains.) stubbornly wormed into his tribe's hearts and declared his intentions of unifying the world. Khunbish had thought it would be impossible but somehow, his new lord has been proving him wrong.
Along the way, Khunbish fell in love with the Chief Consul of Evermore, Roland Crane. They were disgustingly sweet with each other until recently. It appears Roland decided to play spy against a neighboring nation and didn't let Khunbish into the plan and had to fake his death to 'prove' he was faithful to his new lord. They had reconciled but Khunbish still felt hurt by the lack of trust given over the incident. It will be a long time before they return to where they were once were.
Khunbish deep down longed for the way things were. To feel his lover's touch more intimately beyond quick trysts in the past fortnight.
Cumbish paused. He can sense his strength growing the longer he remained in this body. He felt like testing his new form in a battle. But at the same time, he wished to track down this Roland. There are...other methods of proving your dominance after all.
In the end, it wasn't hard to search for him. Roland was found by the blacksmith shop closest to the castle. Cumbish would've dismissed the man in the blue coat if Khunbish's memories hadn't alerted him of the familiarity the coat brought.
And then Roland turned around once his business was finished and air got stuck in Cumbish's throat.
By the gods, he's handsome in person. Khunbish has excellent taste.
"Ah, hello Khunbish," said Roland as he walked up to what he assumed was his lover, "What's up?"
Cumbish's mind stuttered as it rushed through to find a response. "I-I..."
Roland tilted his head and made a noise that was to encourage Cumbish to speak further. However, the sunlight now seemed to make his dark hair shine. Damn it.
"I wish to fight!" Cumbish blurted out.
Roland blinked, "What?"
Damn, this wasn't how it was to go.
"To...to...prove my love!" He can feel his face turn warm.
"You don't have to do that," Roland protested as he became alarmed.
Spurred on and not watching his brain-to-mouth filter, Cumbish added, "You shine deeply into my heart and its only fair I show how deep it goes!"
"Khunbish -" Roland began as his face turned a bit pink. Cumbish oddly felt satisfied at the sight. He did that, not Khunbish.
"What's goin' on?" a bearded man dressed in clothes similar to Cumbish's host approached them as he heard the shouting and saw a crowd forming, "Are ye two fightin' again?"
Chingis, his host's memories supplied. Blood brother. Friend.
Yet not a potential rival for Roland's heart. But he'll do.
"I wish to fight you!" declared Cumbish as he pointed at Chingis.
"Me?" Chingis raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, you. To the death if we must!" There was a few gasps from the crowd of bystanders.
"Khunbish!" yelped Roland.
"What are ye, drunk?" Chingis shared a concerned look with Roland who was now leaning towards the angry sort of embarrassed.
"Fight me!" demanded Cumbish again.
"What's going on here?" The crowd parted to allow a young boy with grimalkin ears to pass through. The King has arrived.
"Evan, lad!" began Chingis, "Call a healer! Ol' Khunbish has taken a turn!"
"Why won't you grant me my wish?" demanded Cumbis, "How many times must I ask?"
King Evan stared at Cumbish in confusion before turning to Chingis and Roland, "Why is he speaking like that? What wish is he talking about?" The two men could only shrug helplessly.
"All I desire is to be permitted to pit myself against this man in a fight to the death for my love's hand!" explained Cumbish, noting how alarmed the boy became. "Is that really too much to ask?"
"See?" said Chingis, "he needs a healer!"
"A-alright!" flailed Evan before he composed himself. "Why don't we all calm down! We'll start by going somewhere quieter. You've already caused quite a stir!"
The King lead Cumbish, Roland, and Chingis into the castle throne room where a larger man (Chief Batu. The Boss.) entered the room while followed by a young girl (Boss's daughter. Tani.). Cumbish grinned. Ah yes, a worthy fight to impress Roland with.
"Alright," began Batu as he eyed Cumbish with exasperation, "what's this all about, ye mangy cur? I could hear the kerfluffle ye caused across the city!"
Cumbish pointed at Batu, grinning maniacally, "Behold! A truly mighty opponent presents himself! Come! Do me the honor of facing me in battle for my beloved's hand!"
Batu stared at him, "What the? What are ye yammerin' on about?"
Chingis shrugged while Roland cringed as he hid his face in embarrassment, "He's been like this for an hour, boss! What should we do with him?"
Batu scratched his chin in thought before smiling, "Well now, a fight is what ye want? I know just the thing."
Before Cumbish could answer, a fist collided with his face and as he stood there, stunned, Batu slammed his fist against the top of his head.
All went black.
"W-what happened?" complained Khunbish as Roland lifted him up, "What am I doin' here? An' why does me head feel like somebody's dropped a stinkin' brick on it?"
"You really don't remember?" said Chingis while Roland stared at Khunbish with annoyed disbelief, "Ye were blatherin' on like a man possessed and just tried to challenge me and the Boss to impress yer boy."
...Judging from Roland's expression, Khunbish failed to impress.
"I-I really don't recall a thing!" Khunbish winced as he rubbed the sore spot on his head, "All's I remember is takin' a turn around the Rubbly Ruins and spottin' a door. Seemed like the kind o' door a swab might hide treasure in so I goes in...and...nothing." There really wasn't anything to remember after venturing further into the strange labyrinth he found. How did he get back to Evermore?
"Well," sighed Chingis, "that'll serve ye right for gallavantin' after some treasure on yer lonesome, ye scallywag! Ye know how the Boss feels about solo fliers, aye?"
"I paid the price, didn't I?" grimaced Khunbish, "And I was in there for no more than a second! I'll not go pokin' me nose around doors it don't belong behind again! I - ghyaaaargh!" He suddenly felt a force smother his very being and everything went dark.
...He then woke up to holding a vividly blushing Roland close to his chest and Chingis and Batu were covering Tani and Evan's ears.
"W-what happened?" Khunbish demanded as he released his lover from his hold. "I feel...light...and...tingly."
"Yer back, lad," said an amused Chingis as he uncovered Tani's hearing. Batu did the same with Evan, who quietly mewled in annoyance.
"I didn't go anywhere!" Khunbish was confused. What did he say to make Roland so red? And in front of the little ones no less!
"Tell that to the swab that just left yer body after leaving us a heap o' trouble," sighed Batu.
"And swept yer boy off his feet right after!" added Chingis as he grinned and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"W-what are ye talkin' about?!" All of this confusion is making his head even sorer!
Unfortunately, his confusion didn't clear up once the King explained that a ghost was possessing Khunbish to warn everyone of a potential calamity if the labyrinth found in Rubbly Ruins wasn't dealt with. Ghosts? Possession? Ebbswane? What in the world is everyone going on about?
"You also got competition, mun!" teased Lofty, "If youer not careful, you'll flippin lose Roland to a smooth talker from beyond the flippin' grave!"
Roland, who had just composed himself back to his default stoic state, turned slightly pink on his cheeks. Khunbish suddenly felt threatened. By a bloody ghost of all things apparently!
"Um...excuse me. What did Sir Cumbish say to make him go so red?" asked Evan, "Batu covered my ears after he said something about crossing swords in a bed. Why would you spar in a bedroom?" At this, Roland blushed again but he was more mortified this time.
"Yeah," agreed Tani, "there's too many things in the way."
Chingis snickered while Roland groaned as he hid his face into his hands.
Well...Boss made the right call to keep the little ones oblivious.
"That's not for you to flippin' know!" scolded Lofty. "Maybe when youer older, we'll tell you!"
Evan made an unimpressed grumbling noise as his age was once again used against him.
"But yer alright?" Khunbish asked Roland, "the thievin' swab didn't hurt ye or anythin'?"
"No," Roland shook his head, "But I'm glad he didn't run off with your body to certain death." His eyes had that light again. It still hurts him to speak of who he had lost months ago and they were slowly getting back to what things were after Ding Dong Dell. And this Cumbish swine would've hurt him even further...!
"I'm not going anywhere," promised Khunbish softly, "Not without ye."
Roland nodded with a small smile, "I know."
-END-
1. The first scene would've continued on with the wedding and reception where Tani encounters a woman who resembles her. The lady would compliment her and then vanish. It didn't want to go any further so it was dropped and removed. Perhaps for the best.
2. On discord, somebody posted a pic of their playthrough in the labyrinth that contained a person who suspiciously resembled Doloran's Mandarin disguise. Talking to them would get you a 'give me orbs and I'll reveal what's waiting for you on the next floor' conversation and they really do say that they'll grant you the powers of darkness. Kingdom Hearts jokes aside, the player didn't trade orbs so who knows what floor condition that gives you. Also I doubt they'll show up in everyone's playthrough with the same npc dialogue.
But I had the urge to run with the idea in fic form so...yeah.
3. Initially, the Roland/Khunbish variation was going to be written first but what came out was a near novelization of the labyrinth quest in canon. So I just kept that and then went for the shiptastic version. I was just going to go for Roland being worried for Khunbish's well-being after being possessed but Sir Cumbish had...other plans.
Writing the RxK version brought back the chapter 7 feels I randomly got over this pairing while writing Roland's chapter 7 misadventure listed in chapter 2 of this collection (and I guess I ship this of all things now how is this my life) but I still can't beat the block around a reconciliation scene in the aftermath so...that just makes it harder to actually write a full on RolandxKhunbish romance fic I'm probably destined to write. orz
Will Cumbish get laid for the first time in 2000 years and exorcism jokes are made at Roland's expense? Who knows. *shrugs* I dunno if I'll actually write it out because 1) figuring out logistics of actually writing what I can picture and 2) I feel like if I try to write it I'll combust into flame from embarrassment. There's also issues including the need to be a Responsible Adult(TM) for my younger readers and the fact this site does not allow explicit sex scenes so...yeah, rules are rules, sorry.