I know it's been such a long time since I've updated any of my stories. I apologize. As I said, I've had a lot of things going on in my life, and with the disastrous election and the terrible things Trump is doing, I've just been incredibly depressed and uncreative. I'm back now, though! My sister was playing "The Fractured But Whole," and it got me back into a South Park mood (also, I'm pretty sure I have ADHD).

Anyway, the last time we were here, we discovered that Cartman was missing while river rafting with Angela. What happened to him? What tortures do I have in store for our characters? Let's find out, shall we?

Chapter 15 – This Might Have Been a Terrible Idea

"And I can't convince you…"

Something strange had happened during that last chapter. One minute, Cartman had been on the raft with them, and the next moment, he was gone. Had the river been more hazardous than Stan realized? He didn't think Cartman would just jump overboard like some kind of thrill seeker. Was he really clumsy enough to actually fall out of the raft?

"That's weird," Wendy said. "I feel like we should have noticed when he fell overboard. What happened?"

"Do you think he's ok?" Angela asked, nervously wringing her hands. "You don't think he's… drowned, do you?"

"Nah, Cartman's a strong swimmer," Stan said. "But we should pull this raft over and try to find him. Hopefully, he didn't fall out too far away."

"You kids could sound a little more concerned," Randy muttered as he used the paddle to carefully navigate the raft over to the edge of the river. Gerald's group floated on by, giving them confused looks as they passed. "We lost Eric!" Randy called to them.

"Good job, Randy," Gerald called back, rolling his eyes.

"Fuck off!"

The other group pulled over as well and then they started walking down the side of the river, calling for Cartman. It would have been a very pleasant stroll if they hadn't lost someone. Angela was wringing her hands nervously as she walked next to Butters… who was also wringing his hands nervously. Stan ignored both of them as he took the lead.

"Any sign of him?" Wendy asked, hurrying to his side. Stan shook his head.

"I wonder how he fell out," he said. "The river wasn't that extreme."

"Well, we can ask him when we find him," Wendy pointed out.

"I sure hope he's not hurt," Angela said, rubbing her hands.

"Y-Yeah," Butters agreed. "I'm worried about Eric."

"What if he's drowning?" Tweek fretted. "Or is getting eaten by a bear? Or tripped on a rock and broke his leg? AH! Or grabbed onto a log to save himself and got a splinter?!"

"Calm down, Tweek," Craig said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure he's fine."

They continued on, and it thankfully wasn't long before they heard groaning that sounded a lot like Cartman. Stan hurried forward to find a soaking wet Cartman lying face down on the riverbank. Butters gasped and shoved past Stan to kneel next to him and put a hand on top of his head.

"Oh no! I can't feel his pulse!" He cried. Stan rolled his eyes.

"You can't feel a pulse from the top of someone's head, dumbass," he growled. Butters blinked at him before looking back down at Cartman, who was groaning and rolling over.

"Hey! He's ok!" Butters cheered.

"What happened, Eric?" Wendy asked, also kneeling beside him. Cartman moaned and slowly sat up, rubbing the back of his head.

"I don't remember," he grumbled. "But I think someone whacked me from behind."

"AH!" Tweek shouted in reply.

"Gosh!" Angela added.

"What are you looking at me for?" Stan said, holding up his hands. "I didn't do it!"

"Well, at the very least, we don't have to have an awkward phone call with Mrs. Cartman," Gerald said. "Now, let's get back to camp."

"Well gee," Butters said as he and Stan helped Cartman to his feet. "That sure was anticlimactic."

"I'm not complaining," Craig said with a shrug.

"Are you sure you'll be ok, Eric?" Wendy asked as they slowly started back up the river. Cartman grumbled something in reply, that sounded a lot like "What the fuck do you think?"

"So, what do you mean someone whacked you from behind?" Stan asked as Randy and Gerald started leading the way back. "Are sure you didn't hit your head when you fell out of the raft?"

"I didn't just fall out of the raft," Cartman said, glaring at him. "I just remember there was a sharp pain in the back of my head, I hit the water, and then the next thing I knew, I was waking up on the side of the river."

"Maybe there was a low hanging branch that we didn't notice," Angela suggested. Cartman turned his glare towards her.

"Maybe you should keep your stupid ideas to yourself," he growled at her. Angela blinked in shock at him, holding up her hands all innocent like.

"I-I'm sorry," she replied. "I was just trying to help!"

Cartman narrowed his eyes at her as Stan blinked at him in confusion. He didn't know why his friend had such a vendetta against Angela. As far as he knew, she hadn't done anything to Cartman four years ago. If anything, it seemed like she had hurt Cartman the least. Like, sure, he was insulted for what she did to Stan and Kyle, but she hadn't done anything to him personally. And he and Kyle were hardly friends. Unless… had Angela hurt him in some way that none of them ever knew about? He shuddered to think about what she could have done to make Eric Cartman hate her so much. Stan was going to have to ask him when they had a moment.

Before anyone could say anything else, Cartman suddenly smiled at Angela, straightening up a bit and put on a more friendly air.

"You know what?" He said. "You're right! It probably was just a tree branch! I'm sorry for snapping like that!" Everyone turned to stare at him in surprise.

"Eric? Is that you?" Wendy asked.

"That must have been a pretty nasty bump if you're actually apologizing," Stan said.

"Fuck off, Marsh," Cartman growled at him. "I can admit when I'm wrong. Angela hasn't done anything to me. And I haven't given her a reason to hate me or anything. Right?"

"Right…" Angela said, giving him a confused smile.

"So, we're all good," Cartman said. "There's nothing to be suspicious of."

Stan was pretty sure Cartman was trying to hint at something, but he wasn't exactly sure what. The way he emphasized some of his words and the way he looked between Stan and Angela… was he lying about something? Did he suspect Angela of something?

He was still extremely confused by the time they made it back to camp. Stan's head was just swimming with questions. He didn't know how to feel about any of this. Perhaps he could talk to Kyle and Kenny about Cartman's behavior. Not that he thought they would be much help. Kyle hadn't been acting right since Angela's appearance, and Kenny wasn't always the best with advice. Maybe he could try talking to Wendy about it. She was part of their friend group now and she was his girlfriend.

Speaking of which, Kenny and Kyle were sitting outside the camper when they got back. The two of them were talking and laughing about something or other. It was the first time Stan had seen Kyle smile in a couple of days, but the smile on his face quickly disappeared when the red head looked up at the arriving group and saw that Angela was still with them. As his friend hissed at her in anger and started to retreat into the camper, it occurred to Stan that they really should have asked Angela to leave before they got back to their camp.

"Well, um, I had fun," Angela said, rubbing her arm awkwardly. "It was nice to see you guys again. I hope you all have a nice summer."

Then she gave the camper a sad look before turning and slumping away through the bushes before any of them could reply. Stan and Butters carefully helped Cartman over to where Kenny was still sitting, but before they could do anything more, Cartman was thanking them and hurrying into the RV himself. Kenny watched him, bewildered, before glancing over at his friends.

"Why was Cartman soaking wet?" He asked.

While Stan and Wendy and the others told Kenny about what happened while they sat down around the campfire, Cartman was gathering his courage to talk to Kyle. They hadn't really spoken since he'd confessed his feelings to him, and that was mostly his fault. But he had to get something off his chest, and he was certain that Kyle was the only one who would believe him.

Kyle was sitting at the table, and Cartman slid into the booth across from him, taking a deep breath when Kyle looked up at him.

"Something bad happened while we were river rafting," he told him. Kyle frowned.

"So, you're talking to me again?" He said. Cartman blinked in shock.

"I…"

"You told me you were in love with me," Kyle growled. "You said you didn't want it to affect our friendship, but then the next day you just start avoiding me?" Cartman stayed silent, feeling guilt washing over him like rain. "What am I supposed to think when you say one thing but then do the opposite? Do you actually care about me or not?"

"Kyle, I'm sorry," Cartman said quickly. "I just… don't know how to act now… Now that it's out. And… I wanted to give you space to figure things out. I don't want to feel like I'm pressuring you. But it's just… hard… trying to act normal around our friends, knowing that I… messed up everything." Kyle stared at him for a long moment, a mixture of shock and confusion on his face.

"When did I ever say that I wanted space or that you messed everything up?" He asked after a moment. Cartman stared back at him in surprise but didn't speak. "And you weren't giving me space, you were avoiding me." He let out a sigh, looking away from him. "I don't know what to feel about any of this, and I know things can't go back to the way they were. But I never wanted this either."

"Well," Cartman said after a moment's hesitation. "What do you want?"

Kyle turned to look at him, his eyes widening with surprise, as if he had never been asked what he wanted before. Like he had never thought about it before. Cartman could see his mind racing, trying to figure out this simple question that asked so much. He tried not to flinch at the confusion and uncertainty in Kyle's eyes, waiting for him to say anything.

Unfortunately for Cartman, just when it looked like Kyle was about to speak, the door to the RV flew open and Stan, Kenny and Wendy climbed inside. The three of them took up seats next to their two friends, and Cartman had to keep himself from sighing in frustration.

"What are you guys doing?" Cartman asked as Kenny sat next to him, barely keeping the annoyance out of his voice. Stan blinked at him.

"We wanted to make sure you two were ok," he said. "I mean, I know you're not ok, Kyle. I know how much you hate seeing Angela, and I swear we didn't mean to bring her back here."

"And Eric," Wendy said. "You hit your head and almost drowned today and then just walked in here like nothing was wrong." Kyle whipped around to stare at her in shock before turning to look at Cartman.

"You what?" He gasped, making Cartman flinch. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me that you almost drowned?"

The warm feeling that Cartman got from Kyle's obvious concern for him was battling with annoyance by the fact that the red head was yelling at him for something he didn't give him a chance to do. The annoyance won out.

"Well, I was going to," he said, rolling his eyes. "But you were growling at me like an angry coyote before I could speak." Kyle stared at him for a moment before looking down at the table.

"Sorry," he muttered. Cartman's expression had thankfully softened by the time he looked back up, however, and he sighed. "So, what happened exactly? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," Cartman replied, trying not to blush. "Angela whacked me over the head with her paddle in an attempt to kill me, but I'm fine."

"Wait, wait," Stan said, holding up his hands. "What do you mean Angela tried to kill you?"

"And why did you say it so casually like it was no big deal?" Kenny asked. Cartman gave both of them look.

"I don't know what part of my sentence confused you, Stan," he said.

"You said you didn't remember what happened," Wendy pointed out. Cartman rolled his eyes.

"Well yeah," he said, ignoring the look Kyle was giving him. "I didn't want her to know I was on to her. She was sitting right next to me on that raft and there was no one sitting behind us. It was obvious that she was the one who hit me on the head. But she would've denied it if I said anything, and then she would know that I wasn't fooled."

"But that makes no sense," Stan said, shaking his head. "Why would Angela want to kill you of all people? If she wanted to kill anyone, I would think it would either be me or Wendy. Or even Kenny."

"What did I do?" Kenny asked, glaring at him.

"What would you have done that would make her hate you enough to want to kill you?" Stan continued, ignoring Kenny. There was a pause, and it wasn't hard for Stan to notice Cartman's eyes widen or the look he exchanged with Kyle. Did… something happen between the two of them that Stan wasn't aware of?

"W-Well," Cartman said eventually. "I was actively messing up her plans, remember? I called her out on her bullshit, I sat on her, and I told you how I was there when she kissed Kyle the first time, watching from the window. Remember?"

"Oh yeah," Stan said thoughtfully. He would have said more, but he was interrupted by Kyle.

"What the fuck do you mean you were there when she kissed me?" He snarled at the brunette. His friends stared in shock as he glared at Cartman. "You were spying on me? And you knew the whole time that she had been lying to him, and you didn't once think to tell Stan?!"

Cartman flinched away from his anger. He forgot that he had never told Kyle that he had spied on him all those years ago when his friend had asked Angela to speak to her alone. He'd had a bad feeling about her, and so he had stayed in the shadow of the doors to see what happened. He still remembered the anger he felt when he saw that bitch kiss Kyle so suddenly. He also remembered that telling Stan what he'd seen was what caused him to finally break up with Angela, which led to the climax of that story.

For some reason, he never realized that he hadn't told Kyle what he had seen. Well, ok. Not "some" reason. It had been because at that point he was very much in love with Kyle, and he had been afraid of what his friend's reaction would be if he told him. And he didn't tell Stan right away because he had been certain that he wouldn't believe him. He really wished he had told Stan sooner.

He really couldn't say any of this to Kyle though, who was still glaring at him. Not while the others were sitting there. And he was terrified that he had just blown up whatever good will he had built with the Jew by this one revelation. After all, because of his silence, Kyle had been forced to suffer for weeks of Stan hating him and thinking he had been trying to steal his girlfriend.

"Calm down, Kyle," Stan said, which is never something someone should say to Kyle when he was mad. "Do you really think I would have believed him if he told me straight away? I was too in love with Angela to listen to reason at that point. You know I wouldn't have listened."

Much to his friends' surprise, Kyle actually calmed down as he thought about Stan's words. After a moment, he let out a sigh of defeat and everyone else let out the breath they had been holding.

"I guess you're right, Stan," he said. He shot a look at Cartman. "But that still doesn't excuse the fact that you never told me this. Why were you spying on us anyway?" Cartman swallowed nervously and wouldn't look him in the eye.

"I don't remember," he muttered. Kyle frowned at him but decided not to press it. He had a feeling he knew the reason anyway, and they didn't need to discuss it in front of the others. Especially since he still didn't know what to think about Cartman's confession.

Of course, Kyle's outburst had distracted them all from the original point. What had they been talking about, again? It was something about Angela. It took Stan a few moments of thinking it over before he remembered why Kyle had gotten angry in the first place.

"So… you really think Angela was trying to kill you?" He asked, turning back to Cartman.

"Of course I am!" Cartman growled at him. "I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head, and then I fell into the water! What other explanation is there?"

"That you have the same paranoia of Angela wanting to murder you as the paranoia of Heidi wanting to murder you?" Kenny said. Cartman glared at him.

"It's not paranoia," he snapped. "Heidi totally wants to kill me! And so does Angela!"

"It still makes more sense that she would want to kill Stan and not you, though," Kenny pointed out.

"Why would Heidi want to kill Stan?" Wendy asked. Kenny gave her an annoyed look.

"I was talking about Angela," he said. Wendy giggled.

"I know, but I hadn't spoken in a while, so I thought I'd just go for it," she said with a shrug.

"Look, guys, it doesn't matter," Stan said before Kenny could come up with a witty retort. "We're not going to see her again. And even if we do, we're not going to let her come on any more of our outings, ok? She doesn't know where we're going next, so she can't follow us this time. We don't want to let her spoil our summer, do we?"

His friends all exchanged glances before muttering their agreements. As she took and squeezed Stan's hand with a smile, Wendy couldn't help but notice that Kyle had been strangely silent about the matter with Angela. He had been more concerned about Cartman than anything. It felt to her that he was trying to avoid talking about Angela all together, actually. She knew how much he hated thinking about her. Wendy hated thinking about her too, and what had she had done to mess up both of their lives.

There was a reason Wendy had become part of their friend group. Kyle, Kenny and Eric had been there for her when she was upset about Angela and Stan. She remembered how sweet the three of them had been towards her during her darkest moments. They had invited her to hang out with them and had done everything in their power to make her feel welcome. Especially Kyle, who had been hurt more than she had by Angela. That wasn't the only reason why she was still in their friend group, but she didn't like to think about that. What mattered was that now the four of them had become the five of them, and sometimes she found herself enjoying her boys' company more than her girls' company.

"I think we're going to San Francisco next," she said, trying to lighten the mood. "We'll have a lot of fun there!"

"As long as no one tries to talk to me, I guess I'll be fine," Cartman sighed. "When are we leaving, anyway?"

"Right now!" Randy said as he came into the RV with the rest of their group trailing behind him. "We just finished packing the rest of our stuff back in, so we are good to go!"

"I'm driving this time," Gerald insisted. "By the way, here's an ice pack for your head, Eric." Then he tossed a bag of ice at an unprepared Cartman, hitting him in the face.

"Gee, thanks," he growled, rubbing the side of his face in annoyance.

"San Francisco is only about three hours, so we'll be there in no time," Randy told them, ignoring Cartman.

"Well gee, what are we going to do once we get there?" Butters asked, squeezing into the side of the booth with Wendy and Kyle, squishing them together. "I hear that their China Town is super neat!"

"I want to see Alcatraz," Craig said from where he sat with Tweek. "Especially at night. I hear it's haunted and I want to see it for myself. And see where they tortured people."

"I'm pretty sure they didn't torture prisoners," Kenny said. "I don't think."

"ACK! Why would you want to go to a place that's haunted?" Tweek asked, his eyes widening with fear. Craig gave his hand a squeeze.

"To prove that it's not really haunted," he said. "I'm pretty sure they just make up the haunted thing to get more people to go there. They probably have speakers and projectors hidden all over the place to make it seem like it's filled with ghosts."

"At the very least, it would be interesting learning about the history of that place," Wendy said. "And the author has actually been to San Francisco and Alcatraz, so she'll actually know what she's talking about for once."

"And I can get a really cool postcard with the prison on it and everything!" Kenny said happily.

"Why are you collecting postcards again?" Stan asked.

"I'm not collecting them," Kenny said, rolling his eyes. "I'm sending them."

"To whom?"

"My girlfriend."

There was a long pause as Cartman, Stan and Butters turned to stare in shock at Kenny. He gave them a confused look back. Another moment of silence stretched between them before Kenny spoke again.

"What?" He asked.

"When did you get a girlfriend?" Cartman said. Kenny blinked at him.

"A year ago," he said in a tone implying that it should have been obvious.

"Seriously?" Stan gasped. "You've had a girlfriend for over a year, and you never thought to tell us?"

"I knew he had a girlfriend," Kyle said.

"How?"

"Because I actually take an interest in my friends' lives," Kyle stated, rolling his eyes. "You guys should try it sometime."

"I don't need your sass," Stan muttered under his breath.

"Well, Kenny?" Cartman said, ignoring him. "Spill the beans! Who's the lucky girl? Is she cute? It's not Heidi, is it? You're not part of her revenge plan, are you?"

"It's Henrietta Biggle," Kenny said, deciding not to dignify the rest of his questions with a response. Stan blinked in shock at him.

"The goth?" He asked. "Really? Why her? And how?" Kenny shrugged.

"Well, my sister has been a goth for a while," he said. "And so, she and her goth friends would come over to my house a lot. Henrietta and I got to talking and we found that we had quite a bit in common. I promised her I'd send her a postcard from everywhere we visited."

"Aw, that's so sweet!" Wendy said.

They all started doing their own thing again after that. Kenny had pulled out his 3DS because the Nintendo Switch hadn't been invented yet when this story started. Tweek and Craig were reading a book together, Randy and Gerald were arguing over who the better driver was between them, and Wendy decided to start writing in her diary. Kyle and Butters both watched, fascinated, as Stan and Cartman got into a rather impressive thumb war (they would have done arm wrestling, but nowadays Cartman could easily pin all of his friends' arms in less than thirty seconds, so there was really no point).

Quickly, the scenery around them changed, from forests and grass, to bustling towns and cities. Cartman seemed to grow more nervous the closer they got to San Francisco, but he didn't complain at all. Kyle tried to listen to his friends' conversation about what they would do when they got there, but he couldn't stop thinking about what Cartman had said. Or the question he had asked right before their friends came in.

What did he want? He hadn't really thought about it since Cartman had confessed his feelings. Well, he had done a lot of thinking, but it hadn't been about what he wanted. He had done a lot of thinking about how to feel (which he still didn't know how to feel), but what did he want to do about any of this. Did he want to stay friends with Eric? Did he want him to stay away from him? Was he open to… a romantic relationship? Why couldn't life be simpler than this?

He glanced over at Stan and Eric, where Eric was pinning Stan's thumb for the third time in a row. Maybe Kyle was meant to be alone. It was far simpler that way. He had never given much thought about his own sexuality. He had always assumed he was straight, but if that was true, then he wouldn't be having such conflicting thoughts and feelings about all of this. If he was straight, he would still be shocked, but he could have easily let Eric down gently. But he hadn't. He hadn't really given him anything with his confession.

By the time the RV was rolling into San Francisco, Kyle wasn't any closer to figuring out what to do. He wished Cartman hadn't told him that he was in love with him. He wished Dr. Pidd had never come to South Park and put the idea into his head. He wished his life could be easier than this. But as their journey continued, he knew that everything was just going to get worse.

I'm going to end this chapter here because it's been going on for a while and I don't really know how else to end it. The computer I used to keep all of my timelines and fiction notes died on me a few months ago, so I'm gonna have to remember where they were going to go and what was going to happen.

I hope this chapter makes you all happy, though. It feels good writing again. I don't know how frequently I'll be able to update since I've been so busy. Work, other writing, trying to launch my own business, etc. It adds up. But, hopefully I'll be able to update again soon. Thank you so much for being patient with me.