It was now present day, August 3rd, 202X. All was well in Tengoku, Japan. The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, and Karate Joe was lying on the floor of his room (which happened to be the basement of the dojo) scratching his butt while watching TV. He wasn't a kid anymore, now a grown man with only a few strands of hair on his head. Joe was currently watching the most popular quiz show in Tengoku, Push the Buttons.
"Welcome back to Press the Buttons. I'm your host, Q Maou," said a man with blue skin, white hair, and pointy ears. He also wore glasses, a yellow suit, and a red bow tie. "We're back with last week's winner, Ken Yamamoto. Back to win the grand prize of one mojillian Yen."
"I'm in it to win it, Q Moau," said the contestant, who was a very generic-looking man.
"That's what we like to hear," Q Maou chuckled, "For your first question, how many stars are in the Great Dipper? Press your buttons the number of times you think the answer is."
"The answer is 7," Joe yelled at the TV. The contestant pressed the two buttons on his panel six times. A buzzer went off.
"Sorry, the answer was 7," Q Maou grinned, "I'm afraid you lost out on the big prize."
"But I already sold my house and quit my job," Ken cried, "What am I going to tell my fiancé?!"
"It seems like we pushed his buttons," the host joked. The audience laughed.
"What an idiot," Joe scoffed, "I would've won that mojillian Yen."
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. It was his mother. "Joe, come into the dining room," Karate Barb said excitedly, "We got a surprise for you."
"Oh, I might know what it is," Joe sighed, "Let's get this over with."
Joe arrived in the dining room and saw his parents sitting around a birthday cake with numbered candles reading 25. "Happy 25th birthday!" Barb cheered. She and her husband were wearing party hats.
"Wow. Is that an ice cream cake? You shouldn't have," Joe said in a happy yet sarcastic tone. Joe noticed a party hat by his seat and put it on. He then blew out the candles.
"Did you make a wish, sweetie?" Barb asked.
"Yeah, but you know. Can tell what it is or it won't come true," Joe continued his semi-sarcasm. He secretly wished his parents would let him wear anything else but a karate outfit, but he wasn't going to push it. Joe looked towards his father, who hadn't said a word yet. To be frank, they hadn't talked much to each other these past ten years. Joe's dad would only speak to him when it had something to do with his training.
"Joe, before we have this delicious ice cream cake, there is something we must do," Karate Fred finally spoke up.
"Ah, yes," Joe knew where this was going, "Let's get this over with." The Karate family went over to the dojo. Fred brought out familiar flower pots.
"You will hit all of the pots thrown at you and earn your yellow belt," Fred claimed.
"Could today finally be the day?" Joe said nonchalantly, "Let's find out." Fred threw flower pots at Joe like many times before, but unlike the old days, Joe barely put in any effort to hit them. He ended up missing every single one.
"Darn, and I almost had it," Joe rolled his eyes, "Maybe on my thirty-fifth birthday."
"Look at what you've become," Fred glared, "There was a time when you treated your karate heritage with pride."
"What can I say? My feelings towards my heritage have soured since someone has been holding me hostage for the past decade," Joe crossed his arms.
"If you're not man enough to do the things you don't want to do, then how can I expect you to carry on the Karate name?" Fred said sternly.
"Hey, you can kick me out anytime," Joe said, "But if you insist on feeding and housing me for the rest of my life, then that's your choice."
"If your grandfather could see you right now…" Fred began to run his mouth.
"You telling me you would be cool if grandpa never let you leave the house?!" Joe began to yell back.
Barb frowned as she watched her son and husband fight once again. However, she noticed a strange shadow approaching Joe from behind. She let out a gasp as she grabbed one of the flower pots on the ground, threw it in the air, and pushed it towards the shadow, which morphed into a monster and was about to eat Joe. Luckily, the flower pot hit it in time.
The monster roared, which caused Joe to turn around. "What the heck is that?!" he screamed.
"Yokai!" Karate Fred yelled. He fought off the shadowy beast, and Barb joined in to lend a hand. Together, with their combined karate expertise, they vanquished the monster.
"Yokai?! You mean like a Japanese demon?!" Karate Joe flabbergasted.
"I don't understand. I thought we sealed away years ago," Barb looked to her husband worriedly.
"Unfortunately, it seems they found another way to enter our dimension," Fred stated boldly.
"Can someone tell me what in the world is going on?!" Joe begged.
His parents looked at each other and sighed. "We wish we never had to tell you this," Fred explained, "The reason why our family practices Karate is to fight demons from another dimension."
"What?!" Joe cried, "Since when?!"
"The Karate family went to war with the demons for thousands of years," Barb continued, "These demons. They feed off the will of people, leaving them meek and helpless. Their goal was to take out the world. Over the centuries, we've managed to dwindle their forces little by little. Until your father and I, along with others, managed to permanently sever the link between our dimensions thirty years ago."
"We almost perished that day," Fred said in a sad tone, "That's why I proposed to your mother soon after and started this dojo. Life's too short, son."
"We thought we would never have to worry about those demons ever again," Barb continued, "Or that we ever had to tell you… Oh, Fred. What are we going to do?"
"Find out where these demons are coming from and stop them," Fred proclaimed. "We must leave immediately."
"You're right, Fred," Barb nodded firmly, "I'll contact our old friends and we'll leave in the morning."
"Wait a minute, this is insane," Joe stopped his parents, "you expect me to fight off demons."
Fred looked Joe right in the eye silently for a moment, "Pfft. Of course not. Look, I really tried to have you be prepared for times like these, but it's not going to happen anytime soon."
"I mean, to be fair. If you told me demons were real, I would've thought you were crazy," Joe admitted, "But where are you guys going, and how long will you be gone?"
"We're going to have to travel every corner of the Earth until we find the demons," Fred explained, "This could take months."
"God, last time it took eight," Barb groaned, "Apparently, they were coming out of Luxenberg. I didn't even know that country existed."
"But we know our geography now," Fred said in a serious tone, "We'll find them. But in the meantime, son, you'll have to look after the dojo."
"Oh okay…" Joe shrugged, "You guys get to go on a cool adventure, but I'm not skilled enough."
"At least, I can finally go outside again," the young man thought.
The next day, Joe stood by the front door, seeing his parents off as they entered a taxi with lots of luggage. "I bought more groceries for the fridge so you can cook for yourself!" Barb yelled as she entered the cab, "Make sure to watch your weight."
"Yes, Mom," Joe nodded.
"I expect you to keep training my students while I'm gone," Fred also yelled, "Take this as an opportunity to learn with them."
"Yeah, yeah. Have fun saving the world," Joe waved to his dad. And with that, the taxi drove off, leaving Joe all alone with the dojo. He looked around the neighborhood. This was the first time in ten years he was outside. The Karate man breathed in the fresh air. He began laughing loudly, "I'm free!" His voice echoed throughout the alleys.
Suddenly, a bunch of kids in karate outfits appeared next to him. "Hey, Joe," the teenage one greeted, "Wait, what are you doing outside? I thought you weren't allowed to."
"His parents must've finally kicked him out," said a snot-nosed student. All the kids laughed, which ticked off the grown man.
"Well, for your information, my parents are off on a very important mission," Joe explained in a snooty fashion, "And they put me in charge of the dojo. So for the next few months, you'll be calling me 'sensei.'"
"Wait, are you serious?" the teenage student chuckled, "The worst martial artist on the planet is supposed to teach us karate? You couldn't even beat Haruto in a match." He was referring to the smallest student at the dojo, Haruto, who was barely taller than Joe's knee.
"Come on, I can beat a six-year-old," Joe shot back, "Not that I would fight one."
"I dare you," Haruto stepped forward, "Or else we'll go to the dojo cross town instead."
"No way, I'm not…" Joe looked at the kids' faces and could tell they were serious, "Fine. But you asked for it."
The twenty-five-year-old tried to grab Haruto, but the kid managed to grab his arm instead and threw him backwards onto his back.
"Oooohh… I'm gonna feel that in the morning," the man winced in pain.
"What a joke," the teen scoffed, "Come on, guys. We're out of here." The karate students turned around and left Joe lying there.
The man leaned up after a couple of seconds. "I'm glad you guys are leaving," he yelled, "You're a bunch of little jerks anyway."
Indeed, these children never showed any ounce of respect for Joe. He went back to the dojo to crack his back.
"I should've figured this would happen," he said to himself, "Eh, more free time for me… Except how am I going to pay rent… or anything for that matter?" Without any active students at the dojo, Joe no longer had any income. And his parents only left him a few hundred thousand yen.
"I guess it's time to act my age and get a job," the monochrome man sighed, "Oh, maybe the grocery store across the street is hiring."
Joe walked outside again and looked at the old grocery store that had always been on his block, except the building it was in was now completely empty. "What, it closed down?" Joe cried, "I guess I've been gone for a really long time. Welp, time to hit the town."
Joe walked aimlessly around Tengoku City, looking for places that had help wanted signs. The first place he found one was in an office building. "Alright, Joe. You can't be picky. Let's see what this place has to offer," he told himself. He opened the door to find four pigs with bow ties spinning on revolving chairs. "Yeah, nah," he immediately closed the door.
Next, he came across a gym with a help wanted sign. "Ah, a gym!" Joe perked up, "That's similar to a dojo. I might have credentials on this one."
Joe entered the fitness center and went up to the front desk. "Hi, I'm here for the job position," he greeted.
"Yes, the manager is right over there," said the attendant, "He can speak with you now."
"Where is he?" Joe asked.
"Right over here!" said a voice nearby.
"Where? I can't see you?" Joe looked around. He then stepped on something. He looked down and saw what looked like a grey action figure.
"Oh my god. Mr. Muscle Doll!" the attendant cried, "You stepped on my manager!"
"How was I supposed to know he was a foot tall?!" Joe questioned.
"You're banned from this gym!" the doll said, "Now get lost, punk!" Despite his small size, the Muscle Doll managed to knock Joe right out of the gym.
"This town is crazier than I remembered," the novice martial artist noted as he patted himself off.
Then, Joe found another help wanted sign in front of a candy factory. "Let's actually read the sign first," he thought as he began to read, "'Candy Packer needed for quality control of product shipment.' Nothing out of the ordinary so far." He continued to read the name of the company, "'Spider-Free Candy: Where our candy is 100% spider-free guaranteed.'" Joe paused for a moment, "Welp, I guess it's good to know for sure."
He entered the factory and was able to get an interview. He soon found himself in an office facing a weird-looking bald man with a big nose wearing a white collar shirt and brown pants at his desk.
"Hello, I'm Paku Tamago, the quality control manager at Spider-Free Candy Corp." The interviewer introduced himself, "What made you want to apply for the position of candy packer, Mr. Karate?"
"I mean, who doesn't love candy?" Joe shrugged, "Especially spider-free ones."
"Yes, here at Spider-Free Candy Corp, we pride ourselves on making sure every candy we package is free of arachnids of any kind," Mr. Tamogo said all professionally. "Did you know 96% of candy factories don't even inspect their products for spiders?"
"Animals, each and every one of them," Joe shook his head, playing along. Though he had a hard time trying not to ask the obvious question.
"I couldn't agree more, Mr. Karate," the manager nodded firmly, "What prior job experience do you have?"
"Uh…" Joe scratched the back of his head, "Well, my parents literally held me prisoner in my own home for ten years. I didn't get to attend high school, let alone get a job."
"Oh, no worries, Mr. Karate. I never went to school myself," Mr. Tamogo assured him. Joe couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "If you don't mind, I would like to give you a test run on the floor," the manager continued.
"Sure, packing candy. I can do that," Joe agreed.
Mr. Tamago led Joe to the cubicle area on the floor. "Just know if hired, you're expected to wear the provided Spider-Free Candy Uniform," the bald man explained, "Karate outfits aren't up to the dress code."
"Hey, I'll happily wear anything if it means getting out of this thing," Joe answered as he pulled on his robe. He is led to a cubicle with a cardboard box facing a metal shoot. "Is that where the candy comes from?"
"Correct," Mr. Tamago replied, "As the candy is dispensed, it's your job as a candy packer to catch them and drop them into this box."
"Okay…" Joe was a little worried since he tends to catch things with his face instead of his hands.
"Anymore questions before we start?" the manager asked.
"Ready to pack some candy," the young man shrugged.
"Very well," Mr. Tamago nodded as he pushed a button on the wall to disperse candy. "Oh, one last thing: make sure to slap away the spiders. They tend to come in pairs."
"The what?" Joe uttered before a piece of candy shot out at him. It hit him in the face, but landed in the box. He readied himself to catch the next one, only for two hairy spiders to fly at him in conjunction. "Whoa?!" the man yelped as the pests landed right on him.
"Mr. Karate, more are coming!" Mr. Tamago warned.
As Joe tried to slap the spiders off of him, he was pelted with more candies and arachnids. "Why are there so many spiders?!" he freaked out while shaking off the bugs sporadically.
"You tell me, Mr. Karate," Mr. Tamago said nonchalantly, "It's supposed to be your job to make sure the candy is spider-free. I'm afraid we'll have to move on to other applicants."
"God, one crawled into my robe!" Joe cried.
The sun was already going down as Joe walked home defeated. He saw a can on the road and tried to kick it, only for his foot to miss. He let out a loud groan. Then his stomach groaned. The young man let out a sigh as he looked around for somewhere to eat. He then spotted a cozy place called "The Inu Café"
"I've heard of neko cafés but not inu ones," Joe pondered. His curiosity got the better of him, and he entered.
The inside looked like your typical cozy café, though it seemed completely empty. Since the front door had a bell, Joe was immediately greeted by the owner.
"Hello, welcome," said a calm voice. Joe was shocked to see the voice come from a white dog wearing red headphones, "And before you ask, there are no other dogs to pet and you can't pet me."
"That's alright. Just looking for a bite," Joe waved, trying to hide how weirded out he was right now.
"Oh, aren't you quite the character?" the dog quipped, "I wasn't aware there was a karate tournament nearby."
"No, I just don't own any other kinds of clothes," Joe answered, "I'm Joe, by the way."
"You can call me Barista," the dog introduced himself, "I used to have an owner, but he forgot to name me. What would you like?"
"I guess coffee with a bit of cream and some biscuits would be good," Joe requested as he took a seat at the counter.
"You got it, Karate Joe," Barista nodded as he began to brew the coffee.
"Hey, how did you know my name?" Joe questioned.
"Wait, 'Karate Joe' is your actual name?" the dog genuinely asked, "Wait, you wouldn't happen to be…"
"Yes, I'm the son of Karate Fred," Joe answered glumly.
"Wow. I heard rumors that you were no good at karate," Barista continued before catching himself, "Sorry."
"Hey, it's true," Joe looked to the ceiling, "Or anything for that matter. Can't even get a job."
"Come on, there's got to be at least one thing you're good at?" Barista questioned, "Here's your 'cup of joe,' Joe."
"Heh heh, you're a pretty smooth talker for a dog," Joe chuckled.
"I get that a lot," Barista blushed.
"But, there was one time I won a soccer game. But other than that," Joe then blew a raspberry. "My parents finally gave me my independence, and I can't do anything with it."
"You sound like one sad hound dog," Barista replied, handing Joe his biscuits.
"Sorry for venting. Itadakimasu," Joe said before enjoying his meal, "I have to say, you're the first person… uh, animal I've been able to have a real conversation with in a long time. What's your story?"
"Not much to it," Barista shook his head, "Was born a stray. Some nice human took me in for a while and gave me these headphones. My ears are pretty sensitive, and I like music. My owner had to leave for combat. And I opened up this café a couple of months ago. Most people are put off by a dog serving them coffee, so I don't get many customers. You're the first one I've had in a while. Honestly, I would hire you if I could, but-"
"Nah, man. Don't worry about it," Joe waved it off, "But you can bet on me spreading the good." Joe placed some yen on the counter for Barista and got up.
"Oh, thank you very much!" Barista beamed as he took the money, "I hope to see you again, Joe."
"You'll be the first to know if I make money," Joe said, looking back at the dog. "Thanks for the hospitality, Barista. Have a good night."
"You too!" Barista waved goodbye.
It was already night when Joe returned to the dojo. While it was nice that he was able to make a new friend, the coming months still seemed uncertain. He went out back to the dojo's garden. It resembled a traditional Japanese garden, with bonsai trees, flowers, and even a pond of koi fish.
It was the only place Joe was allowed outside in the past ten years, and it was where he often went to cool his head. The cicadas were chirping, and the water system had a cool pouring sound coming out of the pond.
Joe looked at the koi fish in the pond while throwing in some food for them. It was one of the few tasks he couldn't screw up. He looked upon the fish with envy; they had such simple lives with no one expecting them of anything but to swim around and eat.
While gazing in the pond, Joe happened to catch his reflection. He didn't like what he saw. No longer did he see a bright-eyed boy looking to prove himself to everyone, just a balding grown man in a wrinkled karate outfit, the white belt being emblematic of how little he had achieved. His parents not only saved the world but were doing it again. There was nothing he could offer to have any impact on this planet called Earth. Why was he such a failure? Why could he never do anything right? Joe had to stop himself as a single tear landed in the pond, causing a small ripple. Even if no one was watching, he wouldn't let himself pour his emotions out.
As he cleared his eyes, there was something strange he caught in the reflection of the water. A star in the sky. Tengoku had too much light pollution for there to be any stars visible at night. As Joe gazed upon the star as it grew brighter. He stared in bewilderment. The ground started to shake. The pond was practically producing waves.
Joe looked up, and the bright object in the sky was coming right towards him. The koi fish swam to the corners to get out of the way when the flaming object fell right into the pond, causing a big, steamy splash. The monochrome man fell backwards.
When Joe got himself up, the garden was full of fog. As it cleared, he saw a floating metal star emerge out of the water and toward him. He crawled back in fear as it stopped right at the edge of the pond. The star opened up to a great light, revealing three silhouettes. Joe held his breath as the silhouettes exited the unidentified flying object.
Right in front of Joe, he saw three cute humanoid blobs. One blue, one pink, and one white. The white creature took out a small pan flute and played a note on the F key.
"Aaaaaa," the white creature sang on key.
"Aaaaaa," the pink creature joined in a higher note. The blue one took out a trumpet and blew the third higher note to complete the chord.
The pink creature took out a marching drum and started to play a beat. They then all started marching in place and began to sing:
Hey Hey Hello
We are Rhythm Angels
We serve our goddess true
We represent
The Heaven of Rhythm
To help all those who have the blues
We'll improve your flow
So you can brightly glow
They're nothing that we can't do
We swear on our eternal mission
Helping everyone to get their rhythm too
The strange creature then struck a pose and did jazz hands.
Joe thought he just had a crazy day, but his life was only going to get crazier from here.
Now, this chapter was a lot of fun to write. Well, maybe not the song at the end, but Marshal and friends had to introduce themselves with a song, especially to lighten the mood. Now that the Rhythm Angels have arrived, how will Joe react? You'll just have to read the next chapter, won't you? Grab some spider-free candy, and I'll see you there.