Joe could hardly believe his eyes. Standing before him in his garden were three blobby-looking creatures with arms, legs, and rosy cheeks. And they just performed a song for him! There was an awkward silence as the creatures continued to do jazz hands, though their wrists grew tired. The man continued to lay on his butt, gawking.

"Can this guy talk?" Miss Ribbon asked.

"According to the league database, he can," Marshal answered, "Maybe we spoke the wrong language. I could've sworn they spoke Japanese here."

"Uh, yes. I speak Japanese," Joe finally spoke up, "What in the world are you things?"

"Uh, didn't you listen to our anthem?" Miss Ribbon sassed, "We're Rhythm Angels."

"But you can call me Marshal," the white angel introduced himself, "And she's Miss Ribbon. And the silent guy here is Cam." He gestured to his friends.

"'Rhythm Angels?" Okay," Joe felt scatterbrained, "I don't recall inviting any Rhythm Angels, so if you can go back to whatever you came from, then I won't have to call the police."

"But we traveled millions of light years just to see you!" Marshal objected.

"Light years? Don't tell me you guys are aliens?" Joe jeered as he got back on his feet.

"I suppose we are," Marshal answered, "But we don't come from any planet. We're from Rhythm Heaven! A special dimension deep in outer space where all the rhythm in the universe comes from."

"When you mean rhythm, are you talking about music?" Joe questioned the angels.

"Rhythm isn't just used for music, you know," Ribbon shook her head, "It's what holds our universe together. Making sure everything, whether living or inanimate, follows a clear pattern. Without it, everything would fall into chaos."

"That's not anything I learned in science class," Joe remarked, "I also fail to see what this has to do with you guys being in my backyard."

"We're your assigned guardian rhythm angels, Karate Joe," Marshal began. The man was shocked that the small aliens knew his name. "You see, our kind are born to monitor and guide beings throughout the universe to find their rhythm."

"Normally, we stay in Rhythm Heaven and assist our beings in subtle ways," Miss Ribbon added, "We try to keep our home a secret from any scoundrels who would want to weaponize our plain."

"But we've been sent on a special mission by Cadence herself: the goddess of rhythm," Marshal continued, "Because you, Karate Joe, need as much help to get your rhythm as you can get."

"The goddess of rhythm?" Joe scratched his head. "And why do I need help with my rhythm?"

"Well, I think it's better if we show you why," Marshal answered awkwardly, "Take out the Flow Scanner, Cam."

The blue angel nodded and took out a kooky device that sort of resembled a gramophone. It scanned Joe with a strange rainbow light.

"Whoa, what did you do to me?!" Joe freaked out.

"You see, Joe," Marshal began, "In Rhythm Heaven, we measure a being's rhythm by a unit we call flow. The higher the flow, the better rhythm a being has. It's on a scale from 0 to 140, and most beings have a flow of 60. But you, however…"

Cam showed Joe a small screen on the flow scanner.

"Only have a flow of 2," the white angel finished.

"That's REALLY low," Miss Ribbon proclaimed, "The only things with a lower flow are boulders."

"So, we're here to help you raise your flow," Marshal looked Joe straight in the eye, "And improve your rhythm!"

Joe could hardly understand anything the angels just said. "Look, it was nice of you guys to come all the way here to help me, but I have other things to worry about right now," the man claimed, "So, please get back on your ship or whatever and get out of here."

"We can't," Marshal explained, "Our ship is out of energy, and it'll take at least a week to refuel."

Joe then grabbed the floating starship and pushed it indoors, heading towards the front door. "Then go stay at a hotel, why don't you?" he snapped.

"Hey, jerkwad!" Miss Ribbon yelled, "Cadence herself sent us to help you improve your rhythm! At least show some gratitude to the goddess of rhythm."

"I never even heard of her until now!" Joe replied, opening the front door.

"What do you mean you haven't heard of her?" Miss Robbin questioned, "What kind of gods do you Earthlings worship?"

"Jehovah, Allah, Zeus. Ever heard of those guys?" Joe sarcastically remarked.

"Yeah, they're alright and all. But they don't hold a candle to Cadence," Marshal said proudly. Joe didn't feel like unpacking that statement.

"Well, when you guys get back to Rhythm World or whatever, tell her to send a letter beforehand instead of having her chibi soldiers break in and enter someone's home," Joe coldly remarked before pushing the angels out onto the street and slamming the door.

"Hey!" Miss Ribbon banged on the door, "Don't act like we are here to ask you for a favor. We're doing you the favor!"

"Calm down, Ribbon," Marshal pulled his rowdy friend back, "We can't draw too much attention to ourselves."

"But we can't fail our first mission," Miss Ribbon cried, "Cadence put her faith in us." She and Cam began to tear up.

"Hey, don't lose hope, guys," Marshal proclaimed, "We promised Cadence we would help Joe raise his flow and gosh darn it, we're keeping it."

"Yeah!" Miss Ribbon wiped away her tears and got pumped, "We're going to help that karate meanie whether he wants us or not."

Meanwhile, Joe decided it was time to go to bed. "Just what I needed at the end of this crummy day: a close encounter with the Teletubbies," the monochrome man crawled into bed and yawned. "At least they're gone. I gotta get my hands on some dough soon. But first, I'll catch some Zs."

Joe managed to get a good night's sleep at least. When he woke up the next morning, his head was feeling foggy. The man put on his white karate uniform and went upstairs. He smelled cooking coming from the kitchen.

"Mom's home?" Joe wondered, "I guess all of that must've been a bad dream. Yeah, demons and angels. Why did I buy that for even a second?" His eyes were still full of sleep. He sat down at the kitchen table.

"Morning, son," said his father, though his voice sounded weirdly high.

"Morning," Joe yawned with his eyes closed, "What's cooking, Mom?"

"I'm making yummy eggs for you, Joe sweetie pie," said his mother, who also sounded rather childish.

"Meow," said Joe's cat, who crawled onto the man's lap.

"Morning to you, kitty," Joe stroked the animal. "Wait a minute. We don't have a cat."

Joe opened his eyes and saw Cam wearing cat ears, purring in his lap. "What the?!" his eyes shot open. He looked up to see Marshal wearing a black wig, a fake mustache, and even aviators. He turned to the kitchen and saw Ribbon wearing a white wig, an apron, and lipstick.

"We just got him today," Ribbon continued the act, "Here's some hearty eggs to help you with your training." The pink angel then placed a plate of runny eggs filled with broken shells in front of Joe.

"Eat up, my boy," Marshal said in a gruff voice, "Today, we're going to work on your rhythm. It's the most important thing to master in karate."

"So last night wasn't a dream," Joe facepalm, "Who let you back in the house?"

"What do you mean? We're your parents. We live here, duh," Marshal fibbed.

"Yeah, my parents aren't one meter tall blobs." The man got up and grabbed the intruders by the collars and walked towards the front door once more, "How do you guys know what my parents look like anyway? And why do you know my name?"

"Like we told you last night, Rhythm Heaven monitors every being in the universe," Marshal answered as he struggled to get out of the man's grasp, "It's our job as your rhythm guardian angels to know everything about you."

"Clearly, your world doesn't have the concept of privacy," Joe snapped.

"And yours doesn't have the concept of commitment," Ribbon shot back, "We swore to our goddess that we would help you get your rhythm, and we're not going to disobey her."

"I don't have time for this rhythm nonsense!" the man groaned, "You see, we're in Japan right now, a capitalist country. That means I have to pay money to live here. Which I can't at the moment because I have no income."

"Yeesh, how barbaric," Marshal cringed, "In Rhythm Heaven, as long as we serve our league, we're given everything we need."

"I'm not qualified to argue which system is better," Joe explained, "But either way, my parents entrusted me to look after this place and I need to get a job in order to keep it. Rhythm doesn't the bills."

Joe once again tossed the angels outside.

"Joe, you don't understand," Marshal looked the human right in the eye, "We know everything about you. How you tried to live up to your parents. Haven't you wondered why you can't?"

Joe was surprised by Marshal's question. "I just wasn't born with any talents like they were," he sighed, "I wish they understood that."

"That's not true, Joe," Miss Ribbon denied, "Everyone has rhythm. You were just born with very little of it."

"If you had more rhythm, you'd be just as capable as them," Marshal placed his hands on Joe's legs and looked up, "More even. We're being serious, we want to help you."

Joe looked at Marshal's eyes for a moment, trying to read if he was being genuine. "Even if that were true, there's nothing you can do to help me," Joe sighed, "I've tried so hard to be competent all my life, but now it's clear to me it's never going to happen. Now, just leave me alone."

The angels felt saddened by Joe's words. They tried to find something to say, but the man had already shut the door on them. He walked away with his head hung low. Suddenly, there was a knock on the front door.

Joe clenched his fist and stomped over. "I thought I told you-" When he opened the door, what he found wasn't the trio of chibis but a scrawny teenage boy with brown hair wearing a black high school uniform.

"Excuse me, is this the Karate Man dojo?" the teen asked in a shaky voice. "I would like to learn Karate from Karate Fred himself."

"Uh, yeah," Joe answered, wondering who this kid was, "Unfortunately, Karate Fred is away right now."

"Oh, when is he coming back?" the high schooler asked some more in a meek tone.

"I don't know," Joe stated awkwardly, "But he's gone for a few months at least-"

"NOOOOO!" the boy fell to his knees, "What am I going to do?"

"Whoa, whoa!" the man put up his hands, "What's the matter?"

"I really wanted to learn karate so I could improve myself," the teen began to weep, "You see, I'm a clumsy guy. I can barely stand on my own two feet."

Joe felt a lot of sympathy for the kid. "Hey, kid, I know the feeling," he tried to console him, "I'm sorry my dad's not here, but there are other dojos around."

"Wait, 'dad?'" the teen looked up at Joe's face, "You're Karate Fred's son?!"

"Yeah, yeah. I am," Joe groaned.

The boy then bowed to him. "I am Koji Nishihara," the boy introduced himself desperately, "Please be my sensei!"

"Whoa. I'm not a karate instructor myself," Joe clarified, "In fact, I'm terrible at it."

"But you must have been practicing karate all your life," Koji pointed out, "It would be a real honor to be trained by the Karate man's flesh and blood."

"Well, I sure as heck don't have his talent," the man rolled his eyes, "Karate isn't going to fix all your problems anyway. I should know."

"But it can at least help me win the heart of my senpai!" the teen cried.

"Excuse me?" Joe felt a sweat drop, "Hey, I know that uniform. You go to Tengoku High, don't you?"

"Yeah, just started last spring," Koji answered, "It's where I met the girl of my dreams, I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the first day of school…"

Four months ago…

Koji was struggling to carry his books through the halls of Tengoku High. "Oh, man. Where is class 1-C?" the teen looked around aimlessly but was then tripped by a bigger male student with a buzzcut. He was surrounded by other tough-looking teenage boys.

"Well, if it isn't Koji the klutz," the bully who tripped him laughed, "Looks like we're going to spend another three years together."

"Oh, god. Not Touwa and his goons," Koji cried in his head, "I thought I finally escaped them after middle school graduation."

The bullies pulled the meek boy off his feet. "Now, I know high school is going to be a fun time," Touwa grinned menacingly, "It's always a riot to watch you fall on your face, dork."

"Hey, what's going on here?!" yelled a voice nearby. They all turned to see a high school girl with black hair and a pin of the Tengoku High Weasel on her uniform.

Koji thought she was the cutest person he had ever laid his eyes upon.

"What's it to you, toots?" Touwa snapped.

"I'm Natsumi Hanoaka, second year," the girl bravely introduced herself, "I'm also the student body president. And as long as I'm in charge, there won't be any form of harassment in this school!"

"You may be our senpai, but we're not going to take crap from you," another bully sneered.

"Let go of that boy or I'm reporting you all to the principal," Natsumi demanded, "I've gotten punks like you suspended for even less heinous acts."

"Tch," the buzzcut bully grumbled, letting go of Koji, "Come on, boys. Let's leave this dweeb to thank his knight in shiny armor." The bullies snickered and walked away.

Koji picked up his books off the floor. Natsumi crouched down to help. "Are you alright?" she asked caringly. The boy blushed up a storm for having her so close to his face.

"Th-thank you for helping me," Koji stuttered, unknowingly snatching the books from Natsumi. "I'm Koji Nishihara. I'm new here."

Natsumi laughed at Koji's demeanor, "Nice to meet you, Koji-kun. Welcome to Tengoku High. Sorry, is calling you by your first name too forward?"

"No, please call me whatever you want, Hanoaka-senpai," Koji smiled awkwardly. "Wow, you're the student body president. You must be hard working."

"Well, to be honest, I only joined the student body to stop the school from getting rid of Pinky the weasel," Natsumi blushed, "she's a pink weasel that started to live near the athletic fields. I just love animals, and Pinky is the cutest. When I managed to get her officially recognized as Tengoku High's mascot, they elected me as president."

"Wow, that's amazing!" Koji cheered.

"Thank you," Natsumi beamed, "I was surprised how good I am as student body president. It can be exhausting, but it's all worth it because I get to play with Pinky all the time. We're practically best friends."

"Hey, I'm friends with a weasel as well," Koji blurted.

"You are?!" Natsumi gasped.

"You are?" Karate Joe raised an eyebrow at the boy.

"I mean, there's a yellow weasel who constantly steals from my dad's turnip garden, though we're not exactly friends," Koji admitted, "He hisses at me whenever I get near. But I was the one who gave him the name Bandit."

"So, you lied to her," Joe plainly stated.

"Just let me get back to my story," the boy whined.

Return to flashback

The school bell goes off.

"Oh, class is starting," Natsumi noted, "It was very nice to meet you, Koji-kun. See you around!"

"See ya, Hanoaka-senpai," Koji waved his newfound crush goodbye. He was currently on cloud nine. He was daydreaming, but the recent encounter that he didn't realize he had bumped into Touwa again.

"Eep!" the klutz uttered.

"Just so you know, Nishihara," the punk looked at him threateningly, "The moment little Miss president finds out how much of a bumbling idiot you are, she'll never want to talk to you again."

The bully then bumped Koji on the shoulder while passing. However, the first time in Koji's life, he wasn't going to sit down.

"You just watch, Touwa!" the teen yelled at him down the hall, "I'm going to straighten myself up here! And you'll sor-"

"YOU TWO GET TO CLASS ALREADY!" A teacher poked their head out of one of the doors to yell at the two students.

"Yes, m'am!" the teen boys immediately obliged.

Joe thought Koji's story sounded cute, but he couldn't help but remember his own past. When he got his heart broken in middle school. Not that he was going to tell this random kid about that.

"I never cared about my clumsiness before," Koji told Joe, "But Touwa had a point. I needed to stop acting like a klutz if I were to win Hanoaka-senpai's heart. I first tried out for all the sports teams, but I was very bad at them. Even soccer. I tried to exercise outside of school, but I just fell on my face as usual. But yesterday…"

Koji was at home eating popcorn, watching the climax of "Karate Man: Punch-Kick in the Heart" on TV.

On the screen, a younger Karate Barb was strapped to a bunch of explosive barrels in a bomb factory while a younger Karate Fred was fighting his (fictional) arch-nemesis, Kung Fu Nacho.

"You'll never beat me to say your beloved Barb in time," Nacho laughed maniacally, "If you let me kill you now, I might let her live."

"If there's anything you should know about me, Nacho, is that I'm never late to a butt-whooping," Karate Fred quipped, "The only one who's out of time is you, ya Kung Fu crook."

Fred uppercutted the villain to the side and ran to Barb to untie her. "I'm sorry for what happened back in Rio," the Karate master said, a line that would only make sense if you watched the whole movie, "I'm never letting you go ever again, baby."

"Fred, watch out!" Barb cried. Kung Fu Nacho was running towards Fred with a fiery fist. But not only did Fred free Barb, but he punched open barrels and kicked all the bombs towards his foe, knocking him out the window with him.

"Curse you, Karate Fred!" Nacho screamed as he fell off a high cliff (turns out the bomb factory was on top of a mountain).

"Oh, Fred. I'm never letting you go either," Karate Barb embraced his hero. They then kissed the moment the bombs exploded.

"Karate Fred is the coolest," Koji fanboyed from his couch, "He knows how to impress a lady. If only I were as cool as him… Wait, his dojo is in this city! He'll teach me how to be a brave hero!"

"And that's why I ran over here," Koji finished his story to Joe, "I mean, who wouldn't be inspired by such an awesome scene?!"

"God, my parents told me about that stupid scene a million times," Joe lamented, "Since it was their first kiss. Did you know the stunt double for Kung Fu Nacho had to go to the hospital afterwards?"

"Both of your parents are hardcore!" the teen stated excitedly, "That means you must be twice as much. You have to be my Karate sensei."

"For the last time, kid. I can't teach Karate, let alone do it," Joe said boldly.

"At least, let me train with Karate Fred's other students," Koji begged.

"Unfortunately, they all ran off the moment they found out I was put in charge of the dojo," Joe explained, all annoyed. "Also, take it from me, kid. Women are nothing but trouble. So, unless you got a job for me, we're done talking here."

Koji gasped, "'Unless you got a job for me, we're done talking here.'"

"Yeah… that's what I said," Joe looked at the teen strangely.

"That's a direct quote from Karate Fred's master, Judo Pat in the first Karate Man movie," Koji explained, "He said that in order to test Fred by acting like he was sleaze. He wanted to see how committed Fred was to mastering karate. You must be testing me right now!"

"No, I'm an actual sleaze," Joe said bluntly, "And that was a movie. In real life, my dad was trained by my grandpa."

"I totally understand, sensei," Koji pumped his fists. "I'll build my muscles, then come back to the dojo later. I'll prove to you that I'm worthy of being your student!"

The high school boy then ran off, leaving Joe feeling rather confused.

"Is everyone in this city a weirdo?" Joe sighed, "And he said he'll come back. Maybe I'll get a job as a sailor and work out at sea for a few months."

The monochrome man didn't see where he was going, but heard a horn. He turned to see a van speeding down the street towards him. He let out a yelp as he dodged the vehicle, which stopped right in front of the abandoned lot that used to be the grocery store.

"That van almost hit me," Joe dusted himself off before stomping towards the car, "Hey! Watch where you-"

Joe paused when he saw a beautiful woman come out of the passenger seat. She had long silky black hair, rosy cheeks, a lovely red dress, and a pair of red tap shoes. She even had monochrome white skin like him. Regardless of whether he wanted it to happen or not, Joe was struck by Cupid's arrow.

"I'm so sorry, sir," the young woman apologized, "My pet mandrill was having too much fun on the wheel. He's trying to get his license."

Joe shook out of his love daze and looked the woman in the eye, "Your what?"

He looked into the van to see a giant mandrill behind the wheel. "Hoo," the mandrill uttered.

"That's one big mandrill!" Joe said in shock.

"Mandrill, say you're sorry to the man," the woman scolded her pet. The big primate exited the van, walked up to Joe, took his hand, and kissed it.

"Ugh," Joe cringed. He then saw two small monkeys exit the vehicle as well. One was pink, wore glasses, as well as a red bow and dress. The other was dark purple and wore earrings and black shades. It also looked like it had sideburns.

"Here we are, Chi-Chi and Ki-Ki. This is where we're going to open our dance studio!" the woman announced.

"Wait, you're opening a dance studio here?" Joe asked.

"Why? Is there a problem?" the woman looked at Joe with her pretty eyes.

Joe tried to rub the blush off his face. "No problem. Just don't let your monkeys drive near my dojo next time, please."

"Oh, is that dojo across the street?" the woman smiled, "That means we're going to be neighbors! My name is Yuka!"

"Yuka "who" exactly?" Joe questioned, noticing she didn't say her last name.

"Oh, come on. Drop the formalities," Yuka dodged the question. "We seemed to be around the same age, anyway."

Joe blushed again, surprised this pretty girl already wanted to be on a first-name basis. "Okay," he agreed shyly, "You can call me Joe, then."

"Nice to meet you, Joe!" Yuka beamed, "You already met Mandrill, but these are my other pet monkeys. The pink girl is Chi-Chi, and the purple guy (FNAF) is Ki-Ki."

"Chi-Chi!" Chi-Chi greeted in a cute monkey voice.

"Ki-ki," Ki-Ki greeted in a cool monkey voice.

"Charmed," Joe greeted back dryly.

"I hope you can come to our grand opening tomorrow," Yuka clasped her hands together, "The Tap-Tap Dance Studio! We're going to hold dance classes here every day!"

"I'm not much of a dancer," Joe stated. He practically had two left feet, "But I wouldn't mind seeing you dance, Yuka. You must be pretty good if you wear tap shoes everywhere."

'Not to toot my own horn but I say I'm pretty good," Yuka said proudly, "But when my monkeys dance with me, that's where the real magic happens."

"Ki-ki!" Ki-Ki cried. Suddenly, Yuka and the monkeys did a triple tap in sync.

This caught the attention of the Rhythm Angels, who were currently hiding behind a nearby trash bin.

"Whoa! Check out the moves on her," Miss Ribbon gasped.

"You heard her, Cam." Marshal turned to his mute friend, "Hit that lady with the flow scanner."

Cam listened to the white angel and scanned Yuka with the flow scanner. Only Joe seemed to notice the rainbow beam that hit her, and he turned to see where the angels were hiding.

"What are they doing?" Joe whispered to himself angrily. He turned back to his new neighbor with a smile, "Well, it's been a real pleasure meeting you, Yuka. But I have to throw out the trash. I'll see you around."

"Bye, Joe," Yuka waved the man goodbye, "Hope to see you tomorrow."

Joe bashfully waved back and walked to the trash bin. He then scooped up the angels when Yuka wasn't looking and ran back inside the dojo.

"Hey, you can't use that thingy on random women on the street," Joe scolded the angels, "The last thing I want is for her to find out I'm being stalked by talking plush toys."

"Why, is it because you like her?" Marshal teased the man.

"Ooo. Joe's got a crush," Ribbon mocked while squeezing her face.

"I don't got a crush!" Joe immediately denied, "Why did you scan her anyway?"

"The way she was perfectly in sync with those monkeys," Marshal explained, "She must have an amazing rhythm."

Cam showed everyone the scanner, which read 130.

"Holy smokes! A flow of 130?!" Ribbon gawked, "She could rival Cadence herself. Opps, that was blasphemy."

"But you're right, Ribbon," Marshal agreed, "She has great flow for someone born outside Rhythm Heaven."

"What luck that she moved right across the street," Ribbon cheered, "Now that Joe has the hots for her, maybe this is the push he needs to improve his own rhythm."

"I don't-!" Joe blushed as he took a deep breath, "Just because a dancing instructor moved into the neighborhood doesn't mean I'll be taking dance lessons anytime soon."

"I'm just saying you're not going to impress her by sailing off at sea," Marshal said slyly.

"Can you guys stop spying on me for one second?" Joe groaned, "Anyways, I'm going out to find more jobs again. And don't follow me."

"We'Re ALwAyS WaTcHiNg," Marshal said in a spooky voice while he and Ribbon wobbled their arms while Cam played the theremin.

"Are you sure you guys aren't demons?" Joe remarked before leaving.

Unfortunately, the novice martial artist didn't have any more luck finding a job than he did yesterday. Joe first tried a guitar store owned by a redheaded punk rocker in pink. He needed a guitar polisher. But Joe somehow got his foot caught in the guitar's strings and was immediately kicked out.

Next, he tried a pet store owned by a blonde woman in a pink robe. Though he couldn't help but notice the place had nothing but birds.

"Nice to meet you, Joe," the woman greeted, "I'm Eglantine. I'm so glad you want to work for my pet store." She seemed rather sweet.

"You seem to like birds quite a lot, Ms. Englantine," Joe noted, "I like birds."

"Oh, what's your favorite kind of bird?" the woman asked.

"Hmm, I guess I'll say penguins," Joe answered, "They're black and white like me."

"SO ALL OTHER BIRDS SUCK?!" the pet store owner suddenly burst out.

"Whoa, that's not what I'm saying!" Joe clarified, "All birds are cool."

"Oh, okay," she returned to smiling, "I can't stand anyone who speaks ill of birds. I'll smite them."

Joe couldn't help but feel creeped out.

"You want to hold one of the birds? I have a newly hatched chick here," Englantine offered as she took out an adorable baby chick.

"Aw, how cute," Joe cooed. But when Englantine tried to hand Joe a bird, he accidentally dropped it. It was fine, but Englatine's face went dark.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean.." Joe gulped as he saw the woman in front of him shaking.

"HOW DARE YOU?!" she wailed, "LEAVE THIS PLACE BEFORE I SMITE YOU!"

"Okay. I'm leaving, I'm leaving," Joe ran for his life.

The last thing Joe tried was being a photographer at a raceway. His job was to take pictures of the cars as they passed by.

"Okay, here they come," Joe said to himself as he readied the camera. Three small race cars passed by, and he took three pictures. He checked the film, and he didn't manage to get a picture of a single racer. His blunder was so bad that the whole crowd booed and threw food at him.

"I hate this town!" Joe cried.

The monochrome man was walking by the riverbank heading home while the sun set. "Another failed day of job hunting," Joe sighed, "Why do I even try anymore?"

"Poor Joe," Ribbon frowned as she and her friends tailed their appointed being, "He really does try hard."

"He's just not going to get anywhere without rhythm," Marshal sighed, "I just don't know how to convince him of that."

"Cadence wasn't wrong about this being a difficult mission," Ribbon hung her head. "I feel bad for the guy, but he's so stubborn. It's annoying!"

Cam couldn't help but nod.

"Wait, he's stopping!" Marshal froze, seeing Joe lean over the bridge.

"He's not going to-," Ribbon began to say.

"No, he's just taking a break," the white angel observed, "I don't think he would ever dare to do such a thing."

While the angels watched Joe, he himself was watching the sun set on Tengoku. He was reflecting on the other crazy day he just had. He thought about what the angels said about his new neighbor, Yuka. He would be dishonest to say that he didn't want her to know how pathetic he was.

"Just like that kid from earlier," he thought to himself, "Get those thoughts out of your head. You messed with romance once, and it blew up in your face."

At that moment, Joe heard panting beneath him. It was Koji in a tracksuit, jogging by the river at a pitifully slow speed. "Got… to… prove.. Myself.. To sensei," Koji gasped for air.

"Well, speak of the devil," Joe said to himself, "I should get out of here before he notices me."

However, Joe saw Koji being stopped by Touwa and his goons.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Koji the klutz," Touwa stared down the smaller teen, "And Miss President isn't around to save you."

"Touwa?!" Koji cried, "What are you doing here?!"

"We're four months into high school and we've yet to pummel your butt," the head bully cracked his knuckles, "We've got a lot of catching up to do."

"Stand back!" Koji demanded in a shaky voice. He got into a stance, "I've just started training at the Karate Man Dojo. You know, the one owned by Karate Fred?"

"Not even the best martial artist in the world can fix a screw-up like you," Touwa spat, "Grab him, boys."

The gang leader snapped his fingers, and the goons grabbed Koji's arms and held them behind his back. It was safe to say the boy was panicking like crazy.

"Time to punch-kick ya in the gut!" Touwa swung his foot right into his victim's stomach.

"Koji!" Joe gasped. Touwa continued to beat the poor teen up. Joe contemplated what to do. There was no one else nearby and the police wouldn't get here in time. Without thinking, Joe ran down to the teens.

"Stop!" the man yelled. The teenage boys turned to his sudden arrival.

"Who's this clown?" Touwa growled.

"Sensei!" Koji cheered, "You've come to save me!"

"Whoa, save you," Joe gulped, "I-"

"You guys are in trouble now," Koji mouthed off, "That's Karate Joe, the next Karate Man. And he's going to kick your butts!"

"Koji, shut up…" Joe whispered angrily under his breath.

"Stay out of this old man," Touwa warned, "It's five against one."

"Old man? I'm only in my twenties," Joe felt offended.

"Could've fooled me, hairline," Touwa snickered, "I don't care who you are. We'll beat the crap out of you both."

The gang leader snapped his finger again, and two more of his goons approached Joe.

"Oh no!" Ribbon cried from the bridge, "There's no way Joe can beat them."

"Yes, there is, Ribbon," Marshal proclaimed, "Because he has rhythm on his side! Cam, take out the keyboard. Ribbon, shake those lips. We're about to set a beat!"

The white angel took out a marching drum and started a steady rhythm. Cam grabbed a musical keyboard out of nowhere and started to play some synth.

The goons paused right before they were about to grab Joe. "Where's that music coming from?" one of them asked.

Joe turned his head to see the angels performing music on the bridge.

"Joe!" Marshal managed to yell in a frequency only he could hear, "Move your fists to the beat."

"What?!" the man questioned.

"Just believe in your guardian angels," Marshal pleaded. Joe decided he had nothing left to lose and started to swing his fist to the beat. The angels grinned widely.

"Just pummel this karate weirdo already!" Touwa demanded his goons. But when one got close to Joe, he managed to punch his face on beat. He was so shocked that he looked at his fists.

Miss Ribbon smiled and then took out a microphone and started singing:

Hey baby!

How's it going?

Joe kept swinging at the goons to the beat.

This

Beat

Is non

Stop!

Koji watched in amazement as Joe knocked one of the goons down. The other goon took a swing at Joe, but he dodged to the rhythm.

Hey baby!

Listen to my phrase

Joe punched the goon in the stomach.

I can give you

The sense of rhythm

Joe knocked that goon to the ground as well. The music started to pick up.

"You idiots!" Touwa roared, "he's just dancing. Get him!"

The goons who were holding Koji let go and went after Joe.

Oh, yeah

Hey baby!

PUNCH

How's it going?

PUNCH

This beat

PUNCH

Is non

PUNCH

Stop!

Punch

Now, Joe was managing to fight two goons at once.

Hey baby!

PUNCH

Listen to my phrase

PUNCH

I can give you

The sense of rhythm

Punch

The goons could hardly keep up with the martial artist.

Awake, Baby!

Suddenly, Koji joined in on fighting the goons as well, and he managed to knock out one. Joe was impressed. The two then smiled and nodded to each other.

Trust me

"That's it!" Touwa roared, "The two of you are dead!"

The leader finally joined a 2v2 with his goon against Joe and Koji. He tried to punch Koji, but he beat him to the punch. *boom boom tsss

This

PUNCH

Beat

PUNCH

Is non

PUNCH

Stop!

Joe and Koji were now one with the beat.

New

PUNCH

Groove

PUNCH

In your soul

PUNCH

Oh, yeah!

PUNCH

The fight was almost over.

This

PUNCH

Beat

PUNCH

You are growing up well

PUNCH

Hey, baby

Joe and Koji upped their punching power.

Hold on to your ambitions

PUNCH

Hey

PUNCH

Baby!

PUNCH

Oh, yeah!

Koji knocked out the remaining goon. All that was left was their leader, Touwa. The angel picked up the music as the leader angrily headed to Joe. However, it was clear he was about to go down. The angels then played a funny tune as Joe and Koji landed the final blow on Touwa.

"ThIs BeAt iS nOn StoP..." the big bully said, all dazed before falling over.

All the bullies lay on the ground groaning in pain.

Joe could hardly believe what he had just done.

"We did it, sensei!" Koji cheered as he hugged the older man, "I knew you were only testing me! We kicked their butts!"

"Hey, settle down, Koji," Joe said, getting out of the kid's grasp, "I'm just glad you're alright."

"The way you swung your first to the rhythm of the song," Koji swung around, "You were like, 'Take this. And This!'"

"Well, I certainly couldn't do it without my sense of rhythm," Joe smiled as he looked up to his guardian angels. They were waving to him from the bridge in complete excitement.

Later that night, Joe escorted Koji back to his block.

"Alright. My house is just down the street," Koji smiled at his savior. He then dropped it, "So… Did I pass the test? Can I be your pupil?"

Joe let out a sigh, "I wasn't testing you, kid. I really couldn't do karate. Until today, that is. I'm as much of a novice as you are."

"But you took down Touwa and his goons almost entirely by yourself!" Koji proclaimed, "I got to learn how you weaponize rhythm. I mean, where did that music even come from""

"You're just going to keep pestering me until I agree, aren't you?" Joe facepalmed, "Alright, you can keep visiting the dojo. But we're not master and student. Just two guys learning karate together."

"Thank you so much, sensei!" Koji bowed to the man, "I promise to be the best pupil that ever was!"

Joe grumbled to himself, seeing that nothing he said got through to the boy.

"Good night, sensei!" Koji ran off home.

"What a strange kid," Joe chuckled to himself, "But he reminds me a lot of myself when I was his age."

When the martial artist got back to the dojo, a spotlight immediately shined on him, "Huh?"

He heard a drum roll, and more spotlights appeared to reveal Marshal, Cam, and Miss Ribbon.

"Karate Joe," Marshal began to announce as a grandiose band music played, "For all your life, you struggled to find your sense of rhythm. But today, you found it. And we're glad to announce that your flow has gone up to…" A drumroll plays.

"Eleven!" the white angel cheered as Cam showed the flow scanner reading 11. The lights come on, and balloons and streamers fall from the ceiling while canned applause is heard. The music now sounds like something out of a quiz show. Joe wasn't sure how to feel about all of this.

"Woo!" Ribbon cheered, "Double digits!"

Cam and Marshal were applauding Joe as well. The man couldn't help but smile. He got on one knee to be at their level.

"I really don't know what to say, but…" he looked each angel in the eyes, "Thank you, Marshal. Thank you, Miss Ribbon. And thank you, Cam."

The angels beamed in excitement. "You called us by our names!" Marshal cheered.

"Sorry for giving you guys so much crap," Joe petted each chibi blob, "From now on, I'll improve my rhythm. And I hope you will stick around to support me. If only my parents could see me now!"

"Oh, that reminds me," Marshal perked up. He then spun around and donned his Karate Fred outfit. He let out a cough and talked in a deep voice, "Son. In recognition of winning your first hand-to-hand combat, I believe you have earned this."

Marshal then presented Joe with a yellow belt. It seemed to have sparkled in Joe's eyes as they began to water. He could hardly breathe as he delicately took the yellow belt, removed the white one he had worn for twenty years, and proudly wrapped the new one around his waist.

He took one good look at himself. "YEESSSS!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, "I'VE EARNED MY YELLOW BELT!"

He then embraced Marshal and cried into his shoulder. "I've waited all my life for this moment," Joe trembled, "Thank you, Dad. Thank you so much."

"Ah, Joe," Marshal side-eyed the man as he tapped his shoulder, "It's me, remember."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry," Joe backed off and coughed, "Alright. Tomorrow, I'm going to improve my rhythm further for Yuka's grand opening."

Marshal removed his disguise and snickered.

"So, she could kiss you," Ribbon teased, making kissy sounds.

Joe grumbled, "It goes without saying that you guys are welcome to stay. I got extra futons you can use. Just don't let anyone know of your existence. The government will probably try to dissect you if they find you."

"Yeesh, what a bombshell to end the night," Marshal quipped, "We're trained rhythm angels, Joe. We know how to keep a low profile."

"Alright, because I'm getting better at karate. I can't exactly fight the Japanese army," Joe remarked. He handed the angels their futons. "Have a good night," he yawned as he shut off the lights and went back to the basement.

"Says the guy who's supposed to save the universe," Ribbon said to her friends.

"Shh! Cadence told us not to tell him," Marshal scolded the pink angel.

"I'm not gonna," Ribbon rolled her eyes, "Joe would probably freak out if he found out anyway."

"Well, we made great progress on our mission today," Marshal noted as the three of them crawled into their futons, "It's time for some well-deserved shut-eye."

Meanwhile, across the Pacific Ocean, the streets of Mexico CIty, a mariachi man is strolling through the street playing on his guitar. It was clear to anyone listening that this guy was a pro. However, the man spotted a shadowy figure rushing by. He froze and looked around to see what it was. He then heard trash falling over behind him. The mariachi man kept searching his surroundings until he came face to face with a huge yokai!

"¡Dios mío!" the man cried. The monster then tackled him to the ground, sucking the life force out of him.

"Hiya!" Karate Barb rushed in to kick the demon away. Karate Fred then appeared and gave the demon a fiery punch. The yokai then faded away from existence.

"You alright, hombre?" Karate Fred asked the man they saved, "I'm glad we were able to save you in time."

"Muchas gracias, you two," the mariachi man caught his breath, "I thought I was a goner. Let me play you a song to show my gratitude."

"You don't have to do that, sir," Barb assured.

"I insist." The man grabbed his guitar and tried to play a tune. However, when his pick hit the strings, they sounded uneven and disjointed. "What's going on?" he asked with fear in his voice, "I've been playing guitar all my life. Why can't I play?!"

"My god," Karate Fred took off his aviators, "He lost his sense of rhythm."

Bum bum bum. Joe may have finally earned his yellow belt, but there's still danger lurking in the shadows. If it wasn't obvious, Koji and Natsumi are supposed to be the couple in Double Date. You can probably guess where the story will go with them. Also, Yuka is supposed to be the girl in Tap Trial 2, who also has a lot of prominence in the Rhythm Heaven series. Instead of having two generic monkeys as her companions, I thought to give her one of the punk monkeys from Tap Trial 2 and the girl money in Remix 2 in Fever. Also, Mandrill from Hole in One because I love him. And of course, the song Miss Ribbon sang was the same one from the original Karate Man minigame on the GBA. This is where I'll stop and finally post this online. Please leave a review to share your thoughts on the story so far. I'll see you in the next update.