A/N: I have found that striving for an ideal of writing every little thing on my timeline out isn't going to happen and glossing over or skipping the bits I'm not excited to write is a necessary evil. But I also have done some research and although Jane Austen spares hardly a sentence for Good Friday or indeed any church service, I believe that under these circumstances it makes sense for Elizabeth to resonate with the themes of sacrifice. It quite ran away with me.
—
After putting up with Mr. Collins's incessant attentions to her sister, Elizabeth found herself eager to have a change of pace with their upcoming visit to the ever-talked-of Rosing to meet the ever-praised Lady Catherine de Burg. Her father's jokes about Mr. Collins were growing repetitive, adding to the distant Elizabeth felt towards him in light of the very real possibility that Jane would have to live with this ostentatious and obsequious toad of a man. And that her father not only would do naught to prevent it but he also seemed genuinely unbothered by that increasingly possible outcome. It was clear that he had agreed to the visit plan more for his own amusement rather than his eldest daughter's chance at a happy marriage.
While walking to church on Good Friday, Elizabeth was frustrated that she was unable to take the necessary actions to prevent Mr. Collins renewing his addresses to her sister and them being accepted. On the one hand, there were limitations due to society and her place within it, and on the other was her own intrinsic self preservation. The latter thought was as close to admitting to herself that Elizabeth could that, should she truly desired it she clouds, shield her sister by replacing her If only she could write to Mr. Bingley! But that was scandalous. Even if she could, his ear would always be turned to the advice of his proud friend.
Speak of the devil, Mr. Darcy was in the church. Here. In Kent. He must have heard her gasp which escaped her, or simply turned towards the noise of their entry as silence was kept for observance of the Holy Day, for he met her eyes almost immediately. What she saw there was confusing, not because it was incongruous but because she honestly could not work out, even remotely, what Mr. Darcy was thinking or feeling. She thought she may safely rule out joy, admiration, and mirth mostly due to her understanding of his character and general opinions rather than the enigma that was his countenance at this moment. Had his eyes always had such a piercing quality?
Elizabeth pondered what it would be like to have the ability to shape her situation, and the situations of those she loved, as easily as must Mr. Darcy. He certainly held nothing back when it came to openly sharing any of his thoughts and directing those around him. Like he had Mr. Bingley. But surely Mr. Bingley had nearly as many qualities that allowed for self determination within their society, his choices were comparatively limitless. And yet he let himself be led so cooperatively. He had once attempted to excuse his rash nature behind the guise of innocent ignorance and caprice, but he was not a stupid or inexperienced man. His choices were his alone, as were her own. It did not do to reject responsibility for them.
The congregation stood and the liturgy began, "Eternal God, in the cross of Jesus we see the cost of our sin and the depth of your love: in humble hope and fear may we place at his feet all that we have and all that we are, through Jesus Christ our Lord." She and all the congregation answered "Amen." Her mind towards her current hopes and fears for Jane. If only she could set them down, place them with another who would take care of them all. Her father did not, her mother could not.
Mr. Collins's voice did a disservice to the Passion Narrative from the book of John, yet some words stuck out to Elizabeth as they had not before. Even the Lord had to submit to His father's choices… or his own choices, as He was only part of one God. "Then said Jesus unto Peter, Put up thy sword into the sheath: the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?'" He then worried for his mother, the theotokos. "When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home." Even the Lord had needed to care for his mother. Since antiquity mothers relied on only their sons, yet her mother had only daughters.
Those able-bodied in the congregation dropped to one knee immediately after the narration of Jesus' death, the rest bowed their heads solemnly. The cross was carried in, there was solemn singing, and veneration of the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. Elizabeth held to the cross she wore daily on her necklace with one hand and silently reached for Jane's with her other. Sacrifice. Jane did not need to be the one to save her family by giving up her life, if not literally then at least figuratively. If you had no choice and no joy, did you truly live?
Then there were the anthems and finally the conclusion. "Most merciful God, who by the death and resurrection of your Son Jesus Christ delivered and saved the world: grant that by faith in him who suffered on the cross we may triumph in the power of his victory; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who is alive and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever." The congregation joined in for the final, "Amen" and began to leave church in silence.