Act 1, Scene 2

When we arrive at the Director's office, she doesn't actually explode into [Nine Lives Scolding] - which is arguably more scary than if she had. Instead, she just makes her way to the coffee pot, pours two cups, and after setting one on each side of her desk, crashes into her chair like she's about to pass out. The length of the sigh leaving her lips is frankly impressive, and I take the time she spends exhaling it to claim my own seat on the other side of the desk.

"...Sorry to drag you in so quickly after everything, but we've got to get you up to speed as soon as possible," She says after taking a sip of her drink.

W-wait, there's no scolding? "A-ah, if it's some kind of briefing, shouldn't everyone-?" I start.

"No. You're the leader of Chaldea's A-team right now, Subaru. Cascading this briefing to the rest of your team is your job," She says, and after another sip gives a small sigh. "That's why you can't keep making a fool of yourself like this."

"W-wait! What the heck do you mean I'm the leader-!?" I protest. Ain't there someone better for that job!?

"-Putting aside initial qualifications, you're our most experienced Master, Subaru," Olga Marie gives a slightly vindictive smile. "If you think I'll be letting Wodime take charge after he's been on ice for months, you've got another thing coming. I can't wait to see the smug idiot's face…" Hang on, is this just about a personal vendetta!?

"I totally disagree, but there's no way I'll convince you, is there…?" I mutter.

"It's so lovely to see my disciple finally starting to understand me," She says. "-Regardless, that's the first subject. Aesclepius is still developing his Noble Phantasm, but according to progress reports so far, we'll be able to make at least one more attempt at resuscitation before we move to the next singularity."

Beryl-san's one thing since he seems so easygoing, but is this really gonna be alright? I know what the average mage is like!

"-Speaking of which, we're aiming to hit it next month, like I said," Sensei says. "The plan was London, but we've got unusual readings again - this time we were able to detect it beforehand, but it's basically the same kind of thing we saw when we entered France. Someone's opened… well, normally I'd assume it's a bounded field over the singularity entrance, but knowing how things have worked out so far, it's going to be another Reality Marble."

"Wow, rarity just means nothing in the world of Magecraft, does it…?" I complain.

"No, this is obviously your fault. Whatever bizarre luck makes your previous acquaintances keep popping up is clearly in play here," She deadpans.

"Why… no, that can't be…" I mutter in feeble protest. "...Was I the true Eliza Particle all along?"

She gives a shudder in response. "Da Vinci looked into it, but… I don't really want to understand these stupid particles, so let's move on."

"Yeah… considering we've run into so many, I don't suppose the Reality Marble in London is one we've seen already?" I ask.

"No such luck. Preliminary analysis suggests it's got something to do with Fairy Tales."

"I guess I'll ask Nobunaga… Actually, come to think of it, she said she paid attention for the 'Camelot Singularity', so she might have something to say here," I mutter. "No, come to think of it, can't she be here for this?"

Sensei just sighs and takes a long sip of coffee. "You're responsible for interrogating her, so I'll expect the information in your report for Okeanos."

"Tch, I can't make Romani do it this time since comms were down for so long…" I grumble.

"But, in terms of debriefing… I think at this point the time has come for me to really nail you down and get some answers," She says with a scowl. "That other world - at this point we've seen three intruders from it over the course of three singularities, so the lazy, as-it-comes explanations you've been giving aren't going to cut it anymore."

"...Yeah," I can't really argue against it at this point. "My knowledge of common sense over there is still a little lacking, but if Rem's here, she can help with that part."

"-And then there's that girl," Sensei says with some obvious consternation. "You're sure she is who she seems to be? Or rather… you know that she's probably not, right? Not entirely."

…

It's a harsh statement. Cruel in its delivery. But, at its heart…

"Servants are replicas of the originals. That also goes for their Noble Phantasms - even those [Witch Factors]. So, even if the spirit created by Hercules has all the memories of the original-" Sensei says.

"...'Rem' is still sleeping in Lugunica. I know," I admit, lowering my head - but, steeling my nerves, I sit up again. "But, the girl here isn't a fake. She's as real as you or me."

"That kind of answer is only going to make things harder on you in the long run," She says, sighing. "But you deciding to heap more burdens onto yourself is to be expected at this point."

With that, she sets her drained coffee cup to the side, and pulls a stack of paperwork to the center of her desk to begin work - her usual nonverbal cue that we're done.

"...Anyway, you complain, but you like this part of me, don't you?" I say with a wink.

"G-get out of my office already. Don't you have somewhere else to be?"

Scene 3

In a cluttered workshop, with a dozen gizmos whirling here and there, a woman speaks with a doll.

"-So, although we've still got a few scans to go, the gist is that right now, Rem-chan's existence is inherently unstable," Da Vinci explains. "In terms of the tripartite foundation of human existence, you're missing one of the three components. We've got your mind and soul, but without a real body, those are both going to experience decay."

"...I see," The small plushie gives a resolute nod. "This was already a miracle, so Rem can't complain too much. We can probably hide it from Subaru-kun for now, but-"

Da Vinci crosses her arms, and flashes a bemused smile. "Now, now, don't just go and give up. I'm just saying that it's dangerous to leave you like that, not that I can't do anything."

Enter: NATSUKI SUBARU

I enter Da Vinci's workshop with a bit of haste in my steps. "How's it looking?"

"To be honest, better than I expected! I was really concerned that we might have just a free-floating soul or mind on our hands, but if all we have to replace is Rem-chan's body, it shouldn't take more than a few days."

"Is it really that easy…?" Rem asks.

"I already had a spare body for myself on hand as a failsafe, so repurposing that should be easy enough," The Caster says with an easy smile.

"Th-that seems like something far too important to be-!" The Oni stutters. "No, with what I've gathered of the situation, is it really okay to spend such a resource on me? Rem doesn't know very much about this kind of magic, but… it must be extremely expensive, right?"

"Hm? No, it should be fine. My Noble Phantasm is completely dysfunctional at the moment, so it's not like I'll be getting anywhere near the front lines for a good while. By the time I need [Gran Cavallo] ready again, I should have some other stopgap measure worked out for you," Da Vinci says. "I might have done some dissections in my time, but I'm not so cold as to just watch someone waste away and die in front of me."

"Well, I'd go on strike if she refused to help you, so-" I pause as something else registers. "Wait, you brought back what from Okeanos!?"

"It was getting frustrating to keep hearing how little you knew about how these things worked, so I decided to go ahead and study them properly myself!" The mad scientist says as she waves a bottle of a black squirming thing.

"Just throw it away! There's no way anything good can come from those things!" I protest.

"No, at the very least… understanding Gluttony's [Solar Eclipse] might have some important benefits for us," Da Vinci says, glancing meaningfully towards Rem. "Not to mention, Subaru-kun, your own body is something we need to be worried about."

I can feel Rem's gaze drift towards me. There's no malice in it, obviously - but even so, it feels almost like an accusation, and I cringe into myself.

"...Subaru-kun?"

…It's a conversation I had in my head more than a few times. An admission I scripted out, with the desperate hope that it would never be necessary to say it. "B-before… I said I had nothing to do with Sa- with the Witch. B-but… that's, um…" I look away, and swallow to moisten my dry throat. "It's… not true. Not anymore. Or, I guess it.. never was, really."

I glance at her, but I don't get any sense of her feelings. The doll body, still that of Jason with his hair dyed blue, simply smirks insufferably.

…

I feel sick. It would just take one word from her to make me vomit. Just a sentence or two to break my heart forever.

-But, my worst fears don't come to pass. "...Mm. To start with, Subaru-kun, you never said that." She says gently. "You only said you didn't know the reason why you had the Witch's scent - if you've figured it out now, then… I'm sure that's a good thing, right? Because Subaru-kun is Rem's hero, and whatever strange ties he might have, he won't be led down the path of darkness."

…Ah. I'm crying again.

"Y-yeah. I'll… catch you up. As much as I can. You, um… missed a lot," I say with a melancholy smile as I pick her up again and rest her on my shoulder. "Like… oh! Beako and I have a contract now! She's not here, but… we should be able to meet up with her, I think, if Nobunaga's intuition is worth anything."

"Eh? That Beatrice-sama? Subaru-kun, that's amazing!" Rem starts heaping praise on me, so I better reign my ego in.

"Yeah, it's a really good thing too, since I went and collapsed my Gate by playing around too much with Garfiel…" I laugh.

"...Subaru-kun, what was the point of all those healing sessions, then?" She asks - those times she held me tight while Felix was healing me, huh?

"...You're welcome for the service?" I venture.

"Mmm…" Ah, that's an embarrassed noise, even if the doll face is still smirking - getting her a real body really can't come soon enough.

"How long did you say it would take to get Rem swapped over, Da Vinci?" I ask the Caster, who is already all but ignoring us a s she fiddles with a mechanism she had slotted the Witch Factor into.. "-Ah, wait, it was made for you, though… Don't tell me she's gonna come out looking like an old man or something!"

"Three days… and, hmph! What do you take me for? [Gran Cavallo] is cute and precious - a simple project of 'what if the Mona Lisa was a precocious young girl'!" Da Vinci boasts - wait, no, hang on! "Well, since it's going to be operating as a puppet for the time being, Rem's own natural appearance should overwrite it a bit. So I'd guess… she'll look like herself at age twelve or so?"

"Keep other people out of your weird hobbies, dammit…!" I groan.

"I do, normally. This was just an unavoidable circumstance," The Universal Man-who-apparently-wants-to-be-a-little-girl says with a shrug. "Are you sure there isn't just some kind of fate that draws you to-?"

"No! No, this has to be… some kind of curse placed on me, at this point! Lilliana… it's gotta be Lilliana's fault, she's the one who first-!" I manage to cut myself off before I can say that title.

"Lilliana-sama… did what?" Rem asks.

"That title will stay buried, dammit!" I shout.