That Naruto, he sure has been through a lot lately.
Hinata found herself standing on a rooftop about a mile from Naruto's apartment. Doing what she did best. Finally out of Lord Danzo's hold for the moment she was able to get back into her comfort zone of work. Naruto's sensei that had taken him away for a few years to train was dead. Killed by an Akatsuki member. The legendary toad Sannin Jiraiya was gone.
While the world kept on moving, she could see an orange aura just stuck in time. He was hopeless. He was upset. Probably even destroyed. What does someone do when they've lost someone of great importance like that?
Would she be this way if she lost Neji? Perhaps. She does feel like in the world that they live in now, if anyone could ground her at the moment it would be her brother.
She believed that the only person that could get close to her was Neji, yet, she finds herself watching Naruto. He's in his apartment sitting on his bed zoned out. Probably ran out of the water mass to produce tears.
He looked pathetic really.
Over time since his sensei's death as Hinata watched him she's observed he's had a visitor. Their academy sensei, Iruka. The warm comfort from someone that has been there for you is always something wonderful to have. She was internally happy that Iruka was there for him.
She didn't know why she felt this way really.
This…PERSON. This blonde haired, blue eyes, bright PERSON had put her through the ringer. If it wasn't for him, she would probably have been successful of her mission with Sasuke. If it wasn't for him she wouldn't have been desperate enough to convince Uchiha Itachi to come back to the village and ruin Lord Danzo's plans. Now she was in the hot seat with Lord Danzo.
She spent DAYS in a room with him. No food. Little to no water. Just Lord Danzo talking about her family, how corrupt they were, how her father abandoned her, and that the elders were aiming to brand her just so she couldn't rise and better the Hyuga clan. How the Uzumaki demon spawn was going to be controlled by the nine tails soon because he couldn't tame it. How Naruto was a monster and always will be a murderer.
It was DAYS of mind-numbing information being forced down her.
Did she believe him? It was hard not to. After being confined in a room and being put through mental torture like that it was hard not to believe him. Pictures. Lord Danzo had pictures of her childhood. Where did he get them from. Were they even real? Pictures of her mother. She wanted those pictures, but he wouldn't let her have them.
He said that the Hyuga clan was the cause of her death. Hinata believed her to be ill. That the abuse she dealt with from her father it was ordered from the Hyuga elders and her father was just too weak to not follow their orders. That her father didn't care for her and that her one and only person on her side in this world was Lord Danzo.
Trust no one else.
Hours, upon hours they went through this. When she walked into that room it was dark outside, when she walked out that room it was light outside, and she honestly didn't even know what day it was at that point.
Her brain was killing her days after and she knew that some of the things he had said and showed her were making permanent mental images in her mind.
She had to give it to him, Danzo was good at manipulation. She imagined her father to be a strong and courageous man. She couldn't imagine him being fearful of anyone let alone the Hyuga elders, but for some reason the seed that Danzo planted in her mind created these false memories of him being such.
She believed her sister had turned on her now. She believed many people she loved even her former teammates had turned on her.
Still, the images of some people just wouldn't waiver in her mind.
Neji. Danzo said that Neji was just like the rest of the Hyuga's and hated her. He never forgave her, and he couldn't be trusted.
Well…that would be believable if she didn't already have a permanent memory in her mind of how Neji looked at her when he really did hate her. That look on his face was memories she could never forget or change in her mind. Even if Neji wanted to fake his feelings and make it seem like he cared for her, he couldn't. He was too genuine.
She didn't know why Danzo felt the need to bring up Naruto to her. She already didn't care too much for Uzumaki, but yet he spoke about how evil and dark Naruto was. He kept saying he was a demon and that he would kill her if she got too close to him because Naruto couldn't control himself, he was a monster.
She didn't care too much for Uzumaki, but she knew better. She just COULDN'T look at him that way. Annoying yes. Maybe even gullible. A monster? No.
If anything, when he spoke about Naruto it just made her want to reach out and search for him. She felt like a rebellious teenager really. Especially when word went around about the sannin.
She watched Naruto express his anger to Lady Tsunade. She watched him break. She just watched him. She wouldn't dare approach him. Touch him.
She was confused really. She utterly despised Uzumaki Naruto. She blamed him for all the troubles that has been happening to her lately that she never experienced in four years. Yet she just had to watch him. She didn't know if she was watching him to make sure he didn't do anything harmful to himself or if she was just enjoying watching him in misery.
Half of her was saying he should be miserable, because of him she mentally constantly heard Lord Danzo's voice crawling in her messed up mind. It was nearly impossible to push the voice out. The other half of her was pleading to the heavens that Naruto had been through enough, they all have.
She watched on as another person came to his apartment, she could say that she even thought of this person to be one of the few trustworthy people in Naruto's life. Nara Shikamaru.
She watched as he came, spoke with Naruto for a moment, she saw some frustration and watched as Shikamaru took Naruto away from his apartment. She was curious. So, she followed. Probably proving to be her biggest downfall in her career.
Hinata watched and couldn't help but feel…hurt.
Her former sensei, she hadn't seen her in almost four years. She was pregnant, very much pregnant. She was glowing.
She had moved on. Team Eight had moved on.
She didn't know why anger was something pulling at her heart at the moment. She didn't know why she was feeling anything at the moment. She left them. She was the coward and she left THEM. She Betrayed them. She was at fault. No one was obligated to care for her when she left her teammates.
She watched from a distance, she watched as Naruto looked at Kurenai amazed at the new life growing inside of her, she watched as Shikamaru's news sunk in his mind and she watched in silence as the two discovered some information because they looked excited.
She should be listening, spying on what they were talking about so she could report it to Lord Danzo, but she couldn't really hear anything at the moment. At the moment all she could hear and imagine was her sitting near Kurenai. On her bench and looking at her sensei's growing belly while talking to her about life.
All Hinata could think about was how she should have been there when her sensei heard the news of her child's father death. Even while in ROOT Hinata had heard the news and yet she still didn't reach out to her former sensei. What type of human had she become. She started to ponder things like did Kurenai and Asuma even have a chance to wed?
She missed it all. She missed memories. Hinata chose freedom, but she got NOTHING of the sort.
Her family pushed her to this…this LIFE. She didn't care whether her blame on them was true or not or if she had any fault into being in ROOT. She wanted to blame them. They pushed her to this HORRIBLE life, and she's lost EVERYTHING. Moments, comforts, memories with people that should still be in her life.
"Hinata?"
Said person froze. Hinata felt the air touch her face and mentally cursed at herself for not having her mask on.
When did she walk into the open like this? When did she walk up close to Kurenai's home?
Now she had three pair of eyes staring at her. Shikamaru and Naruto looked shocked to say the least and Kurenai, she just looked at her with that comforting smile. The smile she always made when she knew Hinata just wanted to sit and talk. Kurenai had called her name and just stood there smiling at her in her pregnant glowing glory.
Hinata wanted to die right then and there.
"Hinata, I heard you resurfaced some months ago. I'm happy to see the worse hasn't happened to you like I believed. It's been a long time Hun. I was wondering when you were going to find your way over here. Maybe I should have gotten company to come over my home sooner to get you to come out of hiding months ago."
Hinata missed her voice.
She missed normalcy.
Kurenai spoke so soft to her. So patient, she always did with Hinata. She always was just the right kind of gentle and firm for her.
Hinata had to get out of here. This was bad for her mental mind right now. It was already too damaged. Her mind and her life.
Naruto frowned as he watched Hinata's soft appearance morph back up to the blank face she perfected for herself. When Kurenai first saw Hinata and pointed her out to him and Shikamaru, Hinata had looked fragile. She looked weak, and not in the bad way. She looked open, like she wanted to talk to them. Like she wanted to be around them and just be back.
Now he could tell she pushed that side away. She pushed the chance away at affection, pushed him and Shikamaru away and worst of all she ignored Kurenai. Hinata turned around to walk away like she never even walked towards them. Like they were nothing to her.
Naruto was not mentally strong enough for this right now. He didn't need this right now.
He walked up to her and grabbed her arm faster than he thought he was going to. Honestly he shocked Hinata as well, she did not remember him being that fast. "Don't disrespect your sensei like that. She's speaking to you."
He hated that blank empty face, he hated it even more when she pointed it towards him. "Don't be like this Hinata…not right now. I can't handle you like this right now."
His voice was low, and Hinata could tell he just wanted the conversation between the two of them. He was still hurt and broken. She knew that, but couldn't he see that she was still broken too.
Hinata tested his grip on her and tugged a little to get away, but Naruto had a tight hold on her. His eyes were suffocating her and almost pleaded with her to not turn her back on him now. He couldn't handle it now. Right now he still felt like his world was crumbling around him.
Confusion washed over her. Why did he look like he was pleading with her?
Hinata's face still didn't change, her body was still facing the other direction to leave, but she looked at him and spoke very low to keep the conversation between just the two of them.
"I. Can't. Do. This."
Hinata admitted this with gritted teeth and bottomless eyes. She couldn't face this reality right now. She couldn't face the fact that she lost everything.
She was taken back when Naruto pulled her body close to him, she had almost lost her balance. She wasn't flushed against him. He just pulled her to him to bring her close enough so he could lean to her ear and whisper to her, "Go to my apartment. I know you know where it is. Go.Now."
He pulled away from her and the two stared into one another. He watched as Hinata's lips thinned out and she almost huffed at him. Like she was upset or something. It was…cute.
When Naruto loosened his grip on her, Hinata took that opportunity to slip out his hold and turn fully to look at him, Kurenai and Shikamaru. It still hurt to look at her beautiful sensei. She felt as if she should have been there. At the same time Hinata felt unworthy of being around Kurenai right at the moment.
"Maybe some other time Kurenai-sama. We can talk some other time?"
Hinata was shocked at how she was able to talk without breaking down. Her mind scattered everywhere right at the moment. She watched as the tall dark-haired woman looked at her with her signature calm smile that Hinata felt was only reserved for her.
Why wouldn't it be? This woman took her in when her father abandoned her, when her family abandoned her. This woman was there when others weren't and Hinata just LEFT her.
"Hinata, yes of course. I'll be here whenever you're ready to talk. Please, don't hesitate to come to my door."
Hinata gave a small nod but kept a platonic face, "Thank you." With that barely audible reply she turned around to leave, "I missed you Hinata. Please don't ever forget that you are always apart of Team Eight."
If she would have paused for just a second than they would know that she was breaking. That she needed help, but she kept walking, never faltering. Why? Simple, she deserved this pain and this punishment.
She was a traitor to the people she cared about. She abandoned them without telling anyone. She made people morn and worry over her. She was a coward to face her clan. She didn't deserve this…love.
She deserved to die in ROOT.
Naruto, Shikamaru and Kurenai watched as the petite Hyuga walked away with a raised head, shoulders squared and without any signs of showing her sensei's words affected her. Naruto frowned at this and scratched the back of his head a little longer before turning to look at the glowing pregnant woman before him.
"Ahh I'm sorry you had to see Hinata like that for the first time. I'm sure you've been hearing a lot from the rumor mills about her."
Kurenai kept a small smile as she watched the direction that Hinata left from, "I've heard Hinata is an exceptional ninja and assassin. She should be since she was a part of a trackers team. I have also heard about her breaking into the Hokage's office…among other things."
"Like her about to annihilate the Hyuga clan."
"Shikamaru!"
Both Naruto and Kurenai gave the young Nara a stern look. Shikamaru responded in his usual bored tone looking at the two like it was pretty obvious and not a big deal. "What? Don't be a pain and sugar coat it. I'm sure Hinata wouldn't want people to act like she hasn't done the things she's done. Please don't be a Neji and be in denial. The guy plants anyone that has anything negative to say about Hinata butt on the ground. He's so far gone in denial."
Kurenai looked at Shikamaru with a grin, "Speaking from experience?"
The light blush and deep scowl that crossed Shikamaru's face said it all.
The pregnant woman laughed at this before looking over at Naruto with a smile, "Well Naruto. Hinata seems to be fond of you still. Maybe you two can find a way to heal together."
Shikamaru grinned a little at the hidden meaning of Kurenai's words, but per usual the blond young man in front of them wasn't understanding.
"What? Fond of me? Haven't you heard? Maybe you should talk to Sai or Sakura, but Hinata hates me. I'm pretty sure she has pointed that out at least once every time we see each other. Plus honestly, I am not very fond of her. She's threatened me numerous times, said she was going to kill my loved ones and literally almost ripped Sasuke's heart out his body. She has attacked me and has called me all kind of messed up names."
Naruto gave Kurenai an odd look when she started to laugh but he could tell she was trying to hold it in with all the grunts she was making. "Sounds umm…spicy Naruto."
He also noticed Shikamaru look at him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk, "This is none of my business, but it's too rich to pass up right now. From what I have heard from the gossip mill's leader Ino, who of course gets first-hand information from your teammate Sakura, you have said just about the same nasty and rude comments to Hinata. I'm sure you didn't threaten her or anything, but called her 'weak', 'selfish' and among other things. Ouch Naruto. I didn't know you had it in you."
Naruto seemed to not be able to get his words to form and looked like a fish gasping for air.
Kurenai cleared her throat to push down a laugh, "Oh yes Naruto. We have heard a lot about the Naruto and Hinata toxicity. Like the fact you two stalk one another."
"She stalked me first!"
"So you return the favor? Oh, plus you two also belittle one another."
"AGAIN. She started that!"
"That's debatable."
"SHIKAMARU! Who side are you literally on?!"
Naruto's face was fully flushed, and he decided now was the time to head back to his apartment to regain his composure. Last thing he needed was someone from his team to find him in this state.
He could imagine the look on Kakashi's face.
He took a deep breath and bid the two farewell so they could enjoy their intense laughing session without him. When Naruto made it back to his apartment he felt something was a little off and quickly made his way inside to shut his front door and he locked it.
He didn't know if he was relieved or terrified that Hinata listened to him and went to his apartment. Practically breaking in and finding comfort leaning against his bed on the floor.
She looked terrible. He assumed being held up by Danzo for days would do that to anyone.
"You look terrible Uzumaki."
Oh the irony of her saying that, "Yeah well, you look pretty shitty too."
Hinata frowned at the insult, she showered, brushed her teeth, catered to her hair and everything this morning. "You look like you've lost a loved one."
He didn't miss a beat, "You look like you've lost your mind."
Again he saw the frustrated look on Hinata's face before she looked off to the side, "I must have lost it. I listened to you and came to your apartment. I…I don't understand what we're doing to each other Uzumaki. I don't understand much anymore."
Naruto leaned on his closed front door and slid on the ground facing Hinata's direction. The two just sat on the floor staring at one another, both too consumed in their own dark thoughts to speak. That was until Naruto finally broke the silence.
"What happened when Danzo took you away from being locked up? What did he do to you?"
He was met with an immediate response along with piercing cold eyes, "I hate you."
Naruto leaned his head against the door and chuckled at her response, she sounded like a robot. A robot that was jealous of his ability to live and breathe.
"I don't think I can hate you anymore Hinata."
She continued to give him a sharp look, "You should."
"I'd be lying to you, myself and Pervy Sage. He taught me to always be myself, to be true to myself. This, what we're doing. Is not true to myself."
She wanted him to hate her, to push her away. It was the right thing to do. She was a horrible human being that deserved to spend the rest of her days alone. "So what is it Uzumaki? You want to be friends? Comrades? We all know we can be nothing more because that part of you is reserved for another male that I hate."
Hinata was picking, she was already at her lowest of low. Why not go further.
Naruto looked at her with tired eyes and he gave her a lazy smile showing his pearly whites as he still had his head leaned against the door, one leg propped up so his arms could rest on his knee and the other leg stretched out on the floor. Even though his hair shadowed some of his face his eyes bore straight at her, but she refused to waiver. She wanted to see him hate her.
"Yeah. That is my truth Hinata. You knew all along and you were kind of right. You weren't exactly wrong. I have the same truth for you and teme though."
He could have died of laughter at seeing Hinata's bottom lip just drop, opening her mouth wide. Her eyes became slightly larger and she looked utterly taken back. She fixed herself immediately and returned her facial features back to the usual monotone look. "You'resick."
"If I'm sick. What does that make you?"
Naruto got on his hands and knees before he slowly started to crawl towards Hinata. His eyes never left hers and even though she kept the make-shift wall facial expression on, he had begun to see through her clearly.
Hinata was still the same, she couldn't hide who she was.
Just like he couldn't hide who he was to her.
"You watch me. All the time. I know you do because I became fixated until I perfected a way to sense you at all times Hinata. No matter how far you think is good enough where I won't sense you, it's not enough with me. I can still sense you. You've watched me do some pretty private things too I might add. You've watched me as I mourned over losing someone close to me. Maybe because you like seeing me miserable or maybe you wanted to make sure I didn't do anything dumb to myself. Either way, you didn't do anything but WATCH. You followed me to your sensei's home to continue watching me, which I don't really know why you followed, but you did, and it ended up breaking you. You BROKE Hinata."
Her face stayed unmoving, platonic, and silent. Still he noticed her chest start to rise and fall faster than usual. He continued his slow crawl until he made it to her face. Her back was against his bed and her legs were sprawled open. He invaded her space and was between her legs, him still on all fours, just staring at her.
"What does that make you Hinata?"
He touched her face then. His touch was so warm that her eyes flickered from staring at the center of his nose to looking into his eyes. They were dark like the bottom of the ocean. His gaze was piercing, intense and they made her feel stuck. Hinata didn't know if she wanted to be stuck like this.
Naruto's hand cupped her face and Hinata didn't know when he got so close, when he got so close that they could practically share body heat. She swallowed a lump in her throat and tried to turn her head, but Naruto refused to break this connection.
"What does itmake you?"
"A monster Naruto."
"You're my monster though. You're mine."
This time they couldn't say they blamed the adrenaline for the kiss.